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Nox glanced down at the hand resting on his own. The simple touch was the only point of contact he and Chase were sharing at that moment. A part of him wondered if he would ever feel warmth and weight like this again outside of a world contained in pages, written in ink. Would there be a day where he wouldn't have to go through the cycle of falling in love and falling apart, warm and cold, loving comfort and guilty pain.
A part of him wished they could skip the clichés, the inevitable betrayal, even if he and Violet didn't make their wish to travel back to that night. Part of Nox wondered if he could live in the past knowing glimpses of the future, knowing Chase. Nox wished he could just flip a switch, and all his problems would be solved.
He had too much to lose. He needed to find a way to fix things, to find a solution, before the trust they had built would be broken forever. He needed to tell Chase, if only his words could work, if only there was a way to tell him without betraying Violet.
The gentle hand resting on his was now giving his fingers a light squeeze. Chase looked at him in curiosity and concern. Alarm bells screamed in his head, warning him that if he were to say what was on his mind, to let the walls he built collapse, it would only lead to betrayal and pain, whether it be for Chase or Violet or both. The pain in his mind was well-intentioned, wanting to preserve these precious moments, but he needed to navigate the storm if he ever wanted to feel again.
Despite the sunny sky around them, Nox felt the rain seem to fall on his face, tickling down the contours his bones created. He missed being able to feel the weather, the warmth of the sun, the cool of the rain. Now, in the real world, all he felt was a dull touch where the raindrops hit and only the subtlest hints that the sun was out. Part of him missed the ache he would feel those chilly spring mornings that signaled the arrival of showers. The rain was pouring, but Chase was still dry in the warm sunshine, as the pressure of Nox's mind seemed to be causing the ache in his lungs, the ache signaling showers.
Something slammed into his shoulders. Nox registered the slight tickle of golden hair underneath his nose. Shaky hands wrapped around the blond, returning the warmth as best as he could. Each point of contact and the smell of fruit-scented shampoo seemed to flip a switch in Nox's mind. Perhaps, Chase would understand. Perhaps, things would not break to the point of no return. Nox felt words spill out of his mouth before he could process them.
Nox lamented his exhaustion. The invisible machinery running his metal form felt on the brink of shutting down. Life was unkind to him, even before he was a Key. His heart felt rusted over… until recently.
A certain blond seemed to be the oil to his worn down parts, allowing him to breathe again.
The sirens in his mind were drowned out as his walls collapsed, releasing the water trapped behind them. His pain was well-intended, attempting to predict the outcome as best as it could, but pain could only predict the showers, not the sunny sky that came. A hand held his, and Nox tried to focus on the warmth. He wanted to engrave the feeling in his mind before the book was done, before he lost the sensation. He desperately wanted to feel again.
Chase was in his arms, looking up at him with the brightness of a thousand stars, confirming in Nox that there was still signs of life in his battered soul.