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Pansy Parkinson is angry. After a long exhausting Chemistry practical day at college she is returning to hostel when she notices her best friend Hermione Granger is enjoying ice cream with her friends.
Today the weather is very pleasant so Pansy initially planned that she is going to spend the evening with Hermione. It is Thursday, their outing day at hostel. They always spend Thursday evening together that it has become their routine now.
But watching Hermione already enjoying with her friends Pansy can't help but feel hurt. You can call her behavior childish and immature but she has a hidden reason behind it.
Pansy knows Hermione from their 2nd year when Hermione has started staying at the hostel. They are studying different subjects, Pansy is a Chemistry major and Hermione is Zoology. They immediately became friends and now they are inseparable.
Pansy has a crush on Hermione but that is a secret. It is 2026, same sex relationship is very much common nowadays but Pansy doesn't know what Hermione feels about it. They don't talk about relationship or love life as they're busy with their studies and Pansy doesn't want to ruin their friendship just because she has a stupid crush. It will go away eventually.
Hermione is a little bit clumsy. She ia a nerd and know it all too. When she starts studying she forgets to eat, sleep and other things important for survival. So Pansy takes care of her. She likes to feed her, make her go to sleep timely. Though Hermione is one year older than her, she treats her like a baby.
Hermione shows that she is irritated by the coddling but Pansy knows she secretly likes it and enjoys it too. She is just too cheeky to admit it.
They both have other friends in college and hostel. Pansy being a little possessive and jealous type doesn't like the idea of anyone else near Hermione. Her feelings make it difficult to stay calm when Hermione mingles with her other close friends too much.
Many times their friends tease them by asking if they are couple when they show affection publicly. Pansy's heart always skips a beat and she laughs it off and try to notice if Hermione feels uncomfortable by this. But Hermione never reacts badly.
Pansy remembers one day they all have been playing truth and dare and drinking a bit too. She hasn't realized they are being too clingy. Someone has pointed towards them and asked the same question. That time Hermione replied, "yeah we are in a relationship, do you have a problem with it?" Pansy has blushed and felt the butterflies fluttering their wings inside her belly. But she later dismissed it thinking it is probably the alcohol effect.
To avoid any suspicion or confrontation Pansy always hangs out with Hermione alone. Just the two of them doing whatever they enjoy the most. But Hermione has more friends and likes to spend time with them too making Pansy burn with jealousy. She never tries to control her but sulks inside her room when the other is out with her friends.
Like now as she is watching Hermione dance in the rain with Ginny, her batchmate and very close friend, she can't help but feel like Hermione is ditching her.
Pansy knows there is nothing going on between Hermione and Ginny. They are only good friends, also Ginny is straight and already has a boyfriend but still the sight of them dancing so close to each other makes her uncomfortable.
Hermione is laughing loudly as heavy rain is drenching her. Pansy is also getting drenched as she is watching them from far. She has a dream that one day she will dance in the rain with Hermione and will walk under one umbrella. That dream crashes in front of her eyes when Ginny takes out an umbrella and put it over their heads. They're both giggling as they are now going to the tea stall nearby.
Pansy silently leaves the place with tears in her eyes.
Hermione is truly happy. It has not been a productive day as their classes got cancelled and she has returned hostel early. She has spent all day lazily on bed. It is Thursday that means it is her outing day with Pansy. She is waiting all day for Pansy to return as fast as possible so that they can go somewhere.
But at afternoon the weather suddenly becomes stormy. Ginny offers her to go to the park just outside their hostel. Hermione loves this kind of weather so she agrees with her and with Luna and Parvati joining them they leaves quickly without thinking further.
Now as they are having tea under rain she can't help but thank Ginny for the sudden plan.
But there is a sadness in her heart as she is missing Pansy terribly. She knows Pansy loves this weather too. She wishes Pansy were here with her to share this moment. She also feels guilty for ditching their Thursday outing but then decides she will make it upto her by doing a movie marathon all night, just them and no one else.
Pansy is now lying in her bed and the happiness in Hermione's face and the happy giggles are playing on a loop in her mind.
To be very honest, Pansy knows she has to stop this growing feelings for Hermione and move on as it is purely one sided and will never be reciprocated. But sometimes when in between their long conversations and movie nights they cuddle to sleep, that feels so good, so intimate.
Some days Pansy becomes brave and flirts with Hermione making her flustered. Even she flirts back too making pansy surprised. But it never crosses the limit. Their friendship is too precious to ruin for an unrequited crush.
Now as she is alone in this romantic weather, many thoughts are rushing in her mind. It's the last year of collage and they are going separate ways after graduation. The thought of losing Hermione makes her dead inside.
"I should confess my feelings, what if she likes me back?", "No, it will make her uncomfortable and ruin our friendship if she doesn't like me in that way", "But I will not regret later that I didn't tell her.....ahhh I am going crazy!!"
Pansy gets up from the bed and starts pacing. All these thoughts are making her mad.
She tries to calm her racing heart when someone knocks at the door. She sighs and walks towards the door praying that it is not any of her annoying friends because she is not in the mood for gossip now.
But as she opens the door her eyes land on a fully wet Hermione. She is standing there with an awkward smile on her face as if she is feeling guilty for something.
"Hi, have you been sleeping?" Hermione asks as Pansy lets her enter the room.
"I was with Ginny and others, we went to the tea stall", Hermione starts to tell her happily but Pansy cuts her off with, "I know". She regrets immediately as Hermione frowns. She is unhappy and now Pansy is going to get a lecture. She sighs and mentally prepares herself.
"You should have joined us, why haven't you?" She comes to stand beside the bed where Pansy is sitting.
Pansy looks away without answering. She knows she is throwing tantrums now but no one can blame her if she wants a little alone time to heal her broken heart.
"What's wrong Pans? Are you not feeling well or are you mad at me?" Hermione cups her face and asks her in a gentle tone. Pansy gives in and looks up. Hermione is looking at her with concern in her eyes. Her eyes widen in surprise when she notices Pansy's swollen eyes.
Before she can ask her questions about it, Pansy pushes her lightly, "you should change your clothes or else you will catch a cold. I am alright, nothing to worry about. Go now."
Hermione doesn't leave, instead she gets angry.
"What is the matter? Why are you behaving like this? Is it because I have spent the evening with my other friends? But we always spend time together, us alone and I even planned a movie night for us too", she shouts a little making Pansy flinch.
Tears start rolling down her face. She tries to control but she can't. She is frustrated with herself and her inability to express her feelings. "I am sorry, I am not in my right mind, please leave", she tries again and maybe the firmness in her broken voice makes Hermione leave at last. Pansy locks the door and lies down in her bed. She hides her face in a pillow and breaks down completely.
At night after dinner Hermione goes for a walk in the lawn. She is still disturbed by the argument with Pansy. She feels bad for shouting at the girl. She tried again during dinner to talk to her but Pansy ignored her completely. They have misunderstandings before too but tonight it feels heavy. She feels she is missing somethings which makes her heart ache. She just wants to hug Pansy and settle the matter but it's not that easy this time.
Ginny joins her after sometimes and says, "what is happening between you and Pansy?"
Hermione is surprised that others also noticed it. "She is upset for some reason and I don't know how to fix it."
"Hmm I think she is jealous", comes Ginny's reply.
Hermione's gobsmacked reaction must be too strong because Ginny laughs loudly before she starts explaining how she noticed Pansy earlier while dancing in rain and she has left before she can call her to join.
Hermione frowns at that. What is there to be jealous about? It doesn't make sense to her.
Ginny is now in a teasing mood. She goes on, "have you not noticed how she is protective of you? She has this aww type look in her eyes when she looks at you. Everyone knows she has feelings for you. And don't try to fool me, I know your loving look for her too", she laughs and hits Hermione's shoulder playfully.
Meanwhile Hermione stops breathing. Pansy has feelings for me? Everyone knows that? She is jealous for that?
She excuses herself and starts running towards the common room without wasting any time. Common room is Pansy's hiding place whenever she is angry or hurt.
Hermione wants answer. With a racing heart she opens the door and yes Pansy is there, sitting on a window side table and writing in her diary. They are the only people in the room. Hermione closes the door and goes to stand beside her table.
"Were you jealous when you saw me with Ginny today? Is that why you are acting like this?" Hermione curses mentally at her poor choice of words but she is restless. She wants to hear it from Pansy's mouth otherwise she will not believe it.
Pansy stops writing but doesn't answer her questions. Hermione can't help but become anxious. "Why are you not answering me? Please say something", Hermione pleads her.
Pansy has enough! She has been trying to avoid this confrontation but now she doesn't have any choice.
"Yes I am jealous", she says finally and lifts her head from the diary to see the reaction in Hermione's face. She looks dumbfounded as if she can't digest the information. "But why are you jealous?" She asks next making Pansy more frustrated.
"Seriously! You can be the college topper but you are the dumbest person I have ever known Hermione. Why can't you catch the hints I am giving you for a long time?"
"What are you talking about? I can't understand any-"
"I FUCKING LIKE YOU!! I HAVE ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR YOU!!"
There she said it. She has just revealed the carefully hidden precious secret of her in front of the most important person of her life.
When the realisation hits her she freezes at her place. Hermione's stricken face isn't helping the situation either.
'Wow I just made fool of myself, haven't I? Now she is going to be disgusted and maybe will break our friendship', Pansy thinks miserably.
Then she clears her throat and starts to make up the situation but Hermione stops her.
"From when Pans? From when you have feelings for me? Why didn't you tell me?" She asks her with a blank face.
Pansy cringes internally and looks away. She is afraid of saying wrong things as her mind is reeling with negative thoughts only.
"I am asking you something, look at me Pansy please"
"No I don't want to look at you. I know you are disgusted by me now but I can assure you that I will fix this and I will move on hmphh...."
Pansy's rambling stops as a pair of lips capture hers. Her eyes widen comically.
Hermione Granger is kissing her. Holy shit! Hermione Granger is kissing her!!!! Is she dreaming??
Before she can even fully realise what's happening, Hermione pulls away and hugs her tightly.
"I hope you don't need an answer after this. I like you idiot!" She whispers in Pansy's ear.
Pansy shivers and hugs her back. She can't help but start crying on her shoulder. After doing so many struggles to keep her feelings hidden, she is relieved that it is mutual but at the same time it feels unreal.
"You really like me? You are not kidding or just saying this to make me feel good, right?" She murmurs while burying her face in Hermione's neck.
Hermione strokes her hair and kisses her cheek, "no I'm not just saying anything. I am really serious. I really like you Pansy. I was scared too when I realised I have feelings for you. The thought of ruining our friendship and losing you as my best friend came to my mind too. But today's incident made me realize that I have to confront you or else you will stay upset and jealous forever you big crybaby!" Pansy pinches her side making her laugh.
"Ginny helped me you know! Apparently everyone except us knows we like each other", she giggles.
Pansy's heart feels warm. The tension releases from her body and she exhales in relief.
"Also I'm very sorry that I shouted at you before knowing what is hurting you so much. I promise I will never do that again. We will properly communicate, no hiding", Hermione's stern voice makes Pansy nod shyly.
They both look at each other. Both have pink cheeks and blinding smiles in their faces. Their hearts are beating rapidly, new found feelings are making them dizzy. Pansy doesn't know who leans forward first but in a moment they are kissing again. It is slow and sloppy with salty tears but somehow it's the best thing happened with Pansy. She feels giddy like a teenager in love.
They break apart when the door bursts open suddenly.
"Why can't you stay still for 2 minutes?"
"We can't become spy if Luna is in our team"
"I was enjoying the show you morons"
As Ginny and Parvati are scolding Luna just outside the door, Pansy and Hermione stand there holding each other's hands and shy smiles in their faces. Their eyes hold a promise to cherish this bond forever.