Work Text:
Rose Landry @rosesroses
Video transcript:
Video opens with Rose crouched close in front of the camera, taking up most of the frame. Her hair is up in a ponytail and she is wearing black dance leggings with a royal-blue sports bra. She adjusts the camera again and grins.
Rose: Hi guys! Some of you have been asking for a dance video since I let slip I used to do street dance, and I always deliver, don’t I? But dancing alone seemed a little boring, so I’ve called in backup. I think you’ll like who I’ve got with me…
Rose flashes another blinding smile at the camera and steps back to reveal the rest of the room, clearly in Shane’s house in Montreal. She is in a large room with huge windows and bookshelves across one wall. The rug has been rolled to the side of the room.
Rose: Shane! Get in frame. You’re not getting out of this.
Shane Hollander steps into view, rolling his eyes. He is wearing all black; joggers with a tank top.
Shane: I still don’t know why I’m here.
Rose: Because the world deserves to see you dance!
Shane: Even mass murderers don’t deserve that, Rose.
Rose laughs. Shane tries to keep a straight face, but his lips keep twitching.
Rose: Okay, so. We have practiced this. It did not go well. But they say that a disastrous dress rehearsal makes for a perfect opening night, yeah?
Shane snorts. Rose clicks something on the phone. The opening bars of TIT FOR TAT by Tate McRae start to play.
[Thought I might love you again, I’ll see how I feel
Now that you’re acting like that, boy, I never will
Last night she answered my call, it sealed the deal
Right now, I’m not even about you]
Rose and Shane both start dancing. The choreography is simple, mostly stepping and hand actions. Shane is, surprisingly, mostly in time and actually holding his own. Every few steps, he glances at Rose, who is dancing with considerably more flair and enthusiasm.
[The day I met you, boy, I thought it was a blessing]
Rose executes a smooth slide. Shane slides the wrong way, sending them crashing into each other. Rose tries to right them both and trips over their feet.
Shane: Sorry, sorry!
Both untangle themselves and dissolve into laughter.
Rose, still giggling: This is the real reason we broke up. Your terrible dance skills.
Shane rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling.
Shane: Oh? Yesterday you said it was my music taste.
Rose: That too.
Shane: I don’t even listen to music.
Rose: Exactly! I can’t believe you didn’t know this song before you met me! So uncultured.
Rose tuts teasingly. Shane shoots her a sly grin.
Shane: Oh, so just because I don’t know Western media, I’m uncultured? Wow, kinda racist, Rose.
Rose cackles, smacking his arm. Shane looks smug.
Rose: Okay, okay, we need to go back to the dance. Come on.
[Let’s go song for song, let’s go back to back
Fix your fucking self, kiss my ass for that]
Rose mouths the lyrics, deviating from the choreography to blow Shane a theatrical kiss.
[That’s the best you got, where’s the good one at?
Should have known you’d be the type to change]
Rose: Lip sync with me, babe!
Shane, remaining dedicatedly focused on the dance moves: Do I have to?
Rose: Yes!
Shane, deadpan to the camera: And they told me humiliation rituals are just a hockey thing.
Both lip sync to the lyrics as the chorus kicks in. Rose looks like she is having the time of her life. Shane keeps turning to look at her to check he’s getting the words right.
They finish the dance with minimal further mishaps. The music ends and Rose squeals, jumping at Shane, who catches her in a hug.
Rose: See, that wasn’t that bad. I think you did well!
Shane: Yeah, I won’t be giving up my day job.
Rose detaches herself from Shane and moves to crouch in her earlier position in front of the camera.
Rose: Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed the dance! Tate McRae, I love you and if you find yourself in LA, hit me up.
Rose winks at the camera. Shane can be heard chuckling in the background.
Rose: Bye, guys. Mwah!
Rose makes a kissy face at the camera. The video cuts off.
Caption: Sorry, everyone, the relationship didn’t work out :/
But I got a new bestie out of it!
(@SHollanderHockey, I WILL get you to dance with me again one day. Mwahahahahaha…)
Shane Hollander @SHollanderHockey reposted this.
Hollandry4eva @myparentsareshaneandrose
Omg noooooo wdym they broke up??? They’re so perfect for each other what happened…
MetrosNo1Fangirl @gomontrealgo
Dance duet to tate mcrae is actually a diabolical way to announce this what is wrong with them 😭
RosieStan @noticemesenpai
Lmaooo not Rose shooting her shot for Tate McRae in the breakup video
PuckOff @hockeyyyy2424
So sad that they ended things but can we all agree that their friendship is legit adorable 🥹🥹🥹
JayLee @toodeepinfandomnow
Okay am I the only one who didn’t know that SHANE HOLLANDER IS HILARIOUS?? Like?? Has he always been this funny or???
--- Procrastinator Supreme @hockeyismylife
replying to @toodeepinfandomnow
No cus fr? Cracking up at Shane Hollander the Hockey Robot was not on my bingo card. I bet he’s just usually in professional mode so it doesn’t show through the six feet of media training.
Beccaaaa @justonechancerose
Choosing THAT song to film w ur amicable ex… oh ik rose is a messy bitch at heart
LandrySuperiority @freemygirl
Wait wait wait why did they break up?? They clearly still like each other im confused
TMZ
Short and sweet? Rose Landry and boyfriend, Shane Hollander announce break up via Instagram.
After Rose Landry dropped her instantly viral dance video set to Tate McRae’s TIT FOR TAT – featuring her hockey player boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, Shane Hollander – fans have been wondering what could have gone so wrong with the picture perfect couple. Both public figures are beloved among their respective followers, and thanks to their smitten smiles in photographs and sightings, many predicted that they were in it for the long run. Perhaps this is why the internet has wasted no time in speculating about the cause of the premature end to this fairytale relationship, with rumours swirling of conflicting schedules, fights, and even cheati…Read More
Hollander Save Me @ohcaptainmycaptain
Cheating? Hun, I don’t think they’d be making dance vids together if someone cheated.
Rose🌹: https://www.tmz.com/short-and-sweet-?...
Rose🌹: lmaoooo
They think I cheated on you???
This is why we should have just done a statement.
Rose🌹: relax babe they would have been saying this shit even if we gave them a statement blander than plain crackers
Rose🌹: and technically theyre also saying I might have cheated on u
That makes me feel so much better, thank you.
Rose🌹: 😚
Are you going to stop being a menace about all of this now?
Rose🌹: i think u already know the answer to that
So no?
Rose🌹: nope ❤️
I hate you so much.
Rose🌹: u loveeee me
🙄
Unfortunately, yes.
Bonus – Live Ilya reaction
Sveta gasped from the other side of the sofa. Ilya’s head snapped away from the game on the TV, brow furrowing as he took in her shell-shocked expression.
“Ilyusha, you have to watch this,” she crawled closer, shoving her phone under his nose.
He took it from her, confusion morphing into a scowl as he took in the woman’s face filling the screen.
“Why are you showing me Rose Landry?” He glanced at Sveta, jaw tight. Sveta just rolled her eyes and flapped her hand at the phone.
“Watch, watch!” She insisted.
Warily, Ilya pressed play.
It was some sort of dance video, clearly. Ilya thought he would be able to keep up an impassive façade right up until Rose fucking Landry pulled Shane on camera. His Shane, not that either of them had been ready to admit that. Evidently.
Rose Landry’s smile wasn’t even that pretty, honestly. Well, it was, Ilya wasn’t blind. But when it was directed at Shane Hollander in particular, he personally felt that it took on a rather punchable quality. He grimaced even more vehemently at the video. Shane was giggling at her. Giggling.
Ilya blinked.
Did Rose just say…?
He paused the video. Rewound it. Listened more carefully than he had since Marly had explained the rules of Uno to him.
There it was again. Ilya hadn’t imagined it; Shane and Rose Landry were broken up.
They broke up.
Ilya watched the rest of the clip, finally allowing himself to appreciate the way Shane’s nose creased when he made a face, how his freckles were just visible in the footage, how his arms looked strong and just as dependable as he knew they were in that tank top. A giddy smile slowly tugged at his cheeks.
“Cute video, yes?”
Ilya looked up. He’d almost forgotten that Sveta was there, to be honest, which he felt a little guilty about. Sveta smirked.
“I can’t believe they’re broken up. They were such a well-matched couple,” She reached for her hot chocolate on the coffee table. “Hm.”
Ilya met her knowing eyes over the rim of her mug. He turned his face back to the TV, nudging the phone back over to her and attempting to school his features into something less like a small child being told they had magical powers.
It didn’t work. Ilya was still all but beaming when he finally answered.
“Yes, how sad.”