Work Text:
Commander Data had lost. At a game that should have been as simple as tic tac toe to an android such as himself. He lost to a humanoid being. His circuits felt overloaded and overwhelmed. But he didn't recognize what it meant. His ears were buzzing, like his circuits were frying right inside of them. He barely registered the doctor's words as she spoke in disbelief directly to him.
“How can you lose? You're supposed to be infallible!”
That was an excellent question. He didn't have an answer, besides, “Obviously I am not.”
“He has temporarily relieved himself from bridge duty, sir.”
Data locked himself in his quarters to run a full diagnostic on himself. He had to figure out what went wrong. He clearly wasn't well. If he didn't figure it out himself, Dr. Pulaski made it perfectly clear. He was supposed to have won. How could he fail? How could he fail? He set up the diagnostic and ran it on himself. After about 10 minutes, it found nothing. That was odd. He set up another. Same result. Curious.
“Data?”
Data perked up at the familiar voice. “Come in, counselor.” He unlocked the door for her. She looked a little distressed. “Is something wrong?”
“That was going to be my question. Data, you've been acting a little off ever since your match with Kolrami.”
“I… had not noticed, Counselor. I.. have not felt at all off.”
“Data, you're not a good liar.” She looked over his shoulder at the ‘diagnostic complete’ screen on his computer.
“I apologize, counselor, I do not usually lie like this.”
“What brought this on, Data?” She sat down in a nearby chair.
“With my repository of knowledge, I expected to perform better against a humanoid life-form,” he confessed. “I should have done better.”
“Data, it was just a mistake.”
“You do not get it, counselor. I am an android, a supercomputer. If I cannot perform a child's game better than a non-artificial species, what purpose do I serve?”
Deanna frowned. “Data, even a supercomputer makes mistakes. Do you really see that as a ‘child's game'?”
“The equivalent, to an android like me.”
“Please let this go, Data.” She reached out a hand to gently caress his shoulder.
“I simply cannot, counselor,” he replied, standing up and heading back to his computer for yet another scan. “Give the captain my apologies, if you will. I cannot return to the bridge giving him ill advice and letting him listen to a damaged android.”
Deanna stood up, eyes going wide. “Damaged? Data-”
“I must finish my third diagnostic, counselor. Goodbye for now.”
Deanna sighed. “Goodbye, Data.” And she left the room.
He had run his 6th diagnostic. Nothing. Still nothing. But that couldn't be right; there was something obviously wrong with him. Why couldn't he see it? He was a damaged, broken android, no longer fit to reside on a starship as elite as the Enterprise. The buzzing came back, louder than before. It hurt. He tried to drown it out, but it didn't go down without a fight. He covered his ears, hoping to mask the unpleasant crackles and buzzes, before another knock on his door suddenly silenced them. “Come in.”
The door opened. In walked Dr. Pulaski. “It is my understanding that counselor Troi tried speaking with you already?”
“About half an hour ago, doctor.”
“Clearly she couldn't get you to stop sulking like Achilles in his tent,” she responded harshly.
Data tilted his head ever so slightly. “Forgive me, I do not believe I understand what you are saying, doctor. All I am doing is running diagnostics.”
“You might be able to sell Troi with that story, but not me. You're smarting because you got beat. It happens, Data, I assure you. Even to the best of us. Pride gets in our way and clouds our thoughts.”
“This is hardly a matter a pride or ego, doctor. I am concerned about giving the captain unsound advice.”
Pulaski frowned, much like Deanna had earlier. “I wish I never pressured you into playing that damn game.”
“But I am glad you did.”
She raised an eyebrow. “How so?”
“I now realize that there is a problem with me. Something is wrong with my programming. When I inevitably find it, I will eradicate it and be normal again.” He tried attempting a smile to ease the doctor, but she looked horrified.
“Data, you do realize you could really hurt yourself doing this.”
“Androids do not feel pain like humans do.”
“That's not what I mean, Data.” Her voice grows with concern. “We've had our differences, and I'm sorry. Please don't do this. You're fine, you're okay, it was an accident, a slip up.”
“I must be left alone for now, doctor.”
“Data!” she cried in vain.
His forced smile fell, realizing it helped nothing. “I apologize, doctor. Please, I need to do this.”
The doctor sighed shakily, tears threatening to fall. She managed to hold them back. “I give you another 40 minutes, tops, then be back on the bridge for the simulation.”
“Understood.”
Another two whole tests. 18 minutes. Nothing. The same results. Every time. But how was this possible? Unless.. That was it. It finally clicked. He'd been trying in vain for hours because it simply couldn't detect anything wrong with him. Because what was wrong with him.. was everything. He was the anomaly in his body. And there had to be only one solution to the problem. He took out a spare pen and a piece of paper and wrote down a note. Then, he typed something into his computer and assessed the information into his system.
On the bridge, a red alert flashed bright on the main screen. “Uh, captain,” the engineer at the helm called out. “There's a small issue.”
“Now?” Kolrami complained. “We've less than an hour till the simulation starts. Can't this wait?”
“No, sir,” the engineer responded seriously. Kolrami rolled his eyes.
The captain approached the crew member. “What is it, Sarah?”
“Well, there's suddenly been a giant ‘extreme risk’ alert coming from a specific area ok the ship.”
Picard's eyes furrowed. “Hm. Computer, locate the source.”
“The source of this alert is Lieutenant Commander Data's personal quarters.”
Everybody but Kolrami looked up at this. “Is that so?”
“Captain, please, we haven't much time!”
“I'm sure you can wait a little longer, Mr. Kolrami.” Picard made his way to Data's personal quarters.
“You're treading on thin ice here, captain!” Kolrami yelled out to the captain as he left.
Picard didn't knock on the door; the risk was too big. He forced it open without permissions from the Commander, and lord, was he glad he did, or he would've missed the sight to behold. Lieutenant Commander Data was holding a phaser to the top of his head, finger on the trigger. The captain's breath completely stopped upon witnessing this. All he managed to choke out was the commander's name, causing the android to turn his head towards the man, right before firing, sending him hard into the metal floor below. The impact of his head hitting the ground sounded hard, almost skull (if he had one) shattering. The phaser fell from his limp hand and slid across the floor, against the captain's trembling foot. He almost couldn't bear to look at it, but when he did, he almost collapsed upon seeing it set to the stun setting. Whether that was the intention or not didn't matter. What did matter was getting Data to Sickbay as soon as possible.
The captain tapped his comm badge. “This is captain Picard to Sickbay, I need a doctor in Lieutenant Commander Data's room stat.” He approached the body carefully. It was then he saw the note, in perfect handwriting.
“Dear crew of the U.S.S Enterprise, I am sorry for my failure as an asset to your team. I know you cannot go on without another android, so I give my full permission to reach out to my brother Lore. He is perfect, in every way I am not. He will be better for everybody here. Do not mourn me, I am at peace with my decision.
-Previously, Lieutenant Commander Data”
Pulled up on the screen was a search: “Every way to terminate an android”. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He almost pinched himself to try and wake from this horrible nightmare, but the doctor came in before he could. She took Data into Sickbay as different officers pushed for questions. He made his way back to the bridge. “I'm calling this whole thing off!”
Kolrami was in disbelief. “You can't be serious, captain.”
His voice got dark. “I'm as serious as I'll ever be, Mr. Kolrami. We are calling this entire thing off. Being everybody back.”
“We have half an hour, captain; show some respect.”
“You want to talk respect?” He got up in Kolrami’s face. “My crewmate, my friend, could be dying right now, and all you care about is your damn simulation. Now call this off or I will be talking to Starfleet.”
Kolrami was at a loss for words. His eyes were wide open as the captain stared sternly into them, unwavering. “As you wish, sir.”
Everybody from the Hathaway returned safely. They got even more questions about what caused this, especially from the youngest of them, Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher, whom they had counselor Troi keep safe in his quarters. He was too young to know what happened. The man they told immediately was Data's own partner, William Riker, who was in obvious distress and dismay. He wanted to be at his boyfriend's side when he awoke, and so he was. Data was stable. His eyes opened, and Riker was the first thing he saw.
“Commander.. Riker?”
Riker scrambled to sit upright. “Data! Data, oh thank god, Data. What in the world were you thinking?”
Data looked confused. “Where am I?”
“You're in Sickbay,” Riker informed him. “I was told-..” He could barely bring himself to say it. “I was told you tried to terminate your life, Data.”
“Judging by the fact that I am still functioning, I can assume it did not work.”
Riker almost smiled from his cute ignorance. “You had it on the wrong setting, thank god. Do you know what would've happened if you had-” He cut himself off.
“That is why I did it.” It almost scared him how calm Data was about this whole thing.
“Just.. why? What happened?”
“I did not beat Kolrami at a simple game.”
Riker wanted to kill the man himself. “I'm sorry?”
“You see, Will, I am a computer. I should have been able to beat a simple humanoid man. But I lost. Every diagnostic I ran told me I was fine. But I soon realized, it couldn't tell what the problem was, because the problem was all of me. I am simply not perfect. I am not good enough for this ship. If you will remember correctly, my brother Lore was created before me. He was perfect. That is why they created me; to be less perfect. It took me too long to really set in that I'm not right for you anymore, nor anybody. That is why I did what I did.”
It was almost impossible holding back his tears now. “Data, you're not perfect. Nobody needs you to be perfect. You're you.”
“But what if me is not enough?”
“I promise you, Data, if you weren't enough, you wouldn't still be here on the Enterprise today, or be my boyfriend. I love you so, so much, Data. That will never change. You made a mistake. It's not your fault. You just need to change your strategy against him. Please never, ever scare me like that again.” He planted kisses all over his boyfriend's face, tears hitting the cold metal softly.
“I apologize dearly, Will.”
“You've got a lot more people to apologize to than just me,” he said, smiling solemnly before giving his boyfriend a tender kiss on the lips. “You're perfect to all of us, Data. And I think that's enough of a reason to stay alive than anything else.”