Chapter Text
Naruto wonders sometimes if he was born loving Kakashi.
It wasn’t a story he heard often, if only because it was obviously a sore spot for both his parents and Kakashi himself. The night of Naruto’s birth, and the subsequent attack on the village by a masked man wanting to take control of Kurama, was mentioned rarely. But every once in a while, Minato or Kushina will mention how grateful they were that Kakashi had been present, helping Kushina re-seal the bijuu while Minato killed the man who attacked them.
It was impossible to hide the truth of Naruto being a jinchuuriki, despite their efforts to raise him normally. His status as the hokage’s son did little to quell the malicious looks the villagers would give him at best. Kushina had been too weak to have the bijuu sealed within her, at first wishing to take the chakra beast down with her- but her body was too weak to contain him long enough for her to die… and thus they had sealed the beast within Naruto instead- a decision Naruto knows Kushina had difficulty living with, having experienced scorn and ire for her status as a child.
Kakashi had saved both their lives, fending them from the Nine Tailed Fox’s attacks, desperate attempts to escape another vessel. He had completed the seal when Kushina grew too weak, and sealed their fates with blood. In his later years, he’ll figure out that Kakashi feels guilty for sealing the demon inside him, and perhaps that’s why Kakashi becomes so lenient with him- especially after Danzo leaks his status as a jinchuuriki, and the whole village begins to shun him for the devastation of the attack on his birth.
Naruto wasn’t bothered much by the jeers and disdain the rest of the village seemed to feel for him. It had been upsetting as a child, when others would refuse to play with him, but as Naruto grew, his interest in the people of the village faded. The only people who mattered were his parents and Kakashi, and attitude that seemed to alarm the three of them as he grew older, but could not be fully curbed.
Between Minato, Kakashi, and Kushina, it went without saying their training efforts had him graduating the academy far earlier than the rest of his peers. Minato had tried to encourage him to stick around, to enjoy his youth a bit more- later, Naruto realizes, it might have been his attempt at correcting the mistakes he had made with Kakashi, and the foresight of Naruto’s increasingly antisocial behavior- but Naruto was fully disinterested in his classmates, who were both rude to him and no where near his skill level.
Minato eventually relented, and Naruto graduated at ten. And to give Minato credit, he tried to assign Naruto to a decent sensei… but Naruto didn’t want just anyone.
Naruto wanted his big brother.
The attack of the Nine Tailed Fox had injured Kakashi. Nothing particularly serious, but enough that he needed to be bedridden for a while. Minato and Kushina had invited him into their home to rest (read: practically abducted him out of the hospital and ignored all of Kakashi’s refusals). The attack had given Minato a new perspective on things, though how and why were reasons he kept wholly to himself, and from that point on he made more of an effort to include Kakashi into the Namikaze-Uzumaki dynamics.
Kakashi was officially assigned as Minato’s guard detail, and given a purpose, Kakashi eagerly took the role. It was certainly just an excuse to keep Kakashi from the more dangerous Anbu missions, and an attempt at keeping him in their lives. It was all but an attempt at forcing him into joining their family, in a way that prickly Kakashi could endure until they eroded away the fight within him.
Many of Naruto’s earliest memories, by extension, include Kakashi. Minato and Kushina eagerly referred to Kakashi as Naruto’s “big brother,” and Naruto picks up the habit as well. Kakashi reluctantly (read: secretly very eagerly) allowed it, and as the years passed, Kakashi adapted to the new role. Minato tells a few stories of how anxious Kakashi had been at the idea of being an older brother, furiously studying in the library.
Kakashi did not refer to Minato or Kushina as his father or mother like Naruto did despite calling each other brothers. Despite being part of their family for years, and having known Minato since he was young, Kakashi spoke of them formally, but no less fondly. It was only Naruto who he referred to as family- perhaps because Naruto insistently did the same to him- and it secretly pleased Naruto that he was the only one Kakashi verbally confirmed a deeper, familial relationship with (even if it was obvious his relationship to Kushina and Minato were just as important).
Kakashi becomes a constant in Naruto’s youth, forced to guard Minato and Kushina as they coerce him into their family, and by extension, was constantly around the house. Naruto grew up with Kakashi has his brother, and as stiff as Kakashi could sometimes be, he grew into the role well enough. Eventually, as Minato’s hokage duties stacked, and Kushina’s eagerness for missions grew, Kakashi was sometimes even relegated to babysitting Naruto, and he cherished the times when they were both alone with each other quite a bit.
Kakashi would play with him (even if he sometimes very obviously didn’t know how), would not only spend time with him but make time to spend with him, would listen to him, would treat him like an adult (probably because he didn’t know how to handle children). Naruto adored spending time with Kakashi, because he wasn’t his parents, who would nag or boss him around (even if he loved them dearly). He was Kakashi, who loved him, and these childish sentiments, a quiet understanding of the village’s hostile views towards him, of his parents busy natures, began to bloom into true adoration.
When Naruto turns five, a couple things happen in quick succession- the first being that Morino Ibiki gets married. Since he works very closely with Minato, he had invited him and his family to attend. Kushina squeals at the wedding invitation, excited for a celebration instead of a funeral, already planning what she’s going to wear, while Minato tries to keep up with all the plans she’s making.
Naruto turns to Kakashi, yanking on his sleeve to get his attention away from that book he’s always reading. “Kaka-nii, what’s a wedding?”
Kakashi blushes ever so slightly; despite his cold reputation, the man was a romantic at heart. “Hm… it’s a ceremony between two people who love each other very much.”
“Who love each other very much,” Naruto parrots, his brow scrunching in thought.
“Mhm. It’s called getting married. It tells everyone that you love each other. That you will never leave each other. And that you’ll stay loyal only to each other- that no one else can have who you’re marrying. You marry someone you think is pretty, and that you want to spend all your time with. Ibiki found someone he wants to be with forever, so that’s why he’s getting married.”
“I want to be with you for forever,” Naruto declared. Then, a terrifying thought occurred to him. “Kaka-nii, have you been married?!”
The tips of Kakashi’s ears flush. “Ah, no. And I don’t plan on doing so any time soon.”
Naruto nods. The idea of someone marrying Kakashi made him feel very frightened- someone taking Kakashi away from him, because they supposedly love him more. Kakashi having no interest in getting married is good, then. “No one should marry you.”
Kakashi laughs, taken aback by Naruto’s declaration. It’s a very nice sound. Naruto enjoys Kakashi’s sly chuckles and smug demeanor, but it’s even better hearing him actually amused and caught off guard. Naruto wants to hear that sound again and again. There isn’t much about Kakashi he doesn’t adore. “That isn’t very nice. I pray for your future spouse dealing with your lack of filter.”
“Naruto!” Kushina calls. “Come here. I can’t decide if we should all wear blue or green.”
They attend the wedding, Naruto watching the ceremony with a deep scrutiny. It seems like a nice idea, to proclaim to the world that you love this person so much, you don’t ever want to leave them. That’s how Naruto feels about Kakashi. Maybe he can convince Kakashi to marry him.
A few days later, Naruto is in Minato’s office, playing with some stuffed animals while he finishes up his reports. Kushina is with Mikoto for a well deserved girls night out, and Kakashi is off sparring with Gai. Naruto frowned, clutching the stuffed rabbit tightly. He doesn’t like Gai- he distracts Kakashi from being with Naruto. He’s loud and obnoxious and Naruto wants him to stay away from him. He hasn’t figured out how to make that happen yet.
A delegation from Suna appears, speaking to Minato about this and that. Naruto watches him curiously, intrigued by his manner of dress, built for a life in the desert instead of the forested plains of Konoha. With wide eyes, Naruto watches the man adjust the scarf mask across the lower half of his face, pulling it down while making an off hand comment about the humidity of Konoha in the summer. Naruto is struck silent and still, seeing the mask lower to reveal half of his face.
He had never considered the idea before, that Kakashi’s mask could simply be removed. He had always worn it, since Naruto was born, and he had never seen the man without it. Even when they eat or drink together, Kakashi puts up a mild genjutsu, or eats so fast Naruto misses it. But the mask can just come off! It isn’t part of Kakashi’s head!
So when he comes home, and Kakashi asks him what he wants for his birthday, it’s an easy answer. Now that Naruto was aware he had a face hidden under his mask, he was very intent on seeing it. “I want you to take off that ugly mask!”
Kakashi didn’t outright refute him, even if the request made him shift uncomfortably. “You don’t want anything else? I was hoping to convince you to ask for a dog.”
“Nope!” Kakashi loves dogs. Naruto doesn’t. Well, he can still appreciate petting puppies but Naruto doesn’t like Kakashi’s ninken. They take all of Kakashi’s attention, and he should be petting Naruto’s head instead of them. Another dog would be more competition. Besides, Naruto has been wondering about that mask, ever since he saw other ninja take theirs off while speaking to his father the other day. The mask could come off. “I wanna see what’s underneath.”
“There’s nothing interesting about my face,” Kakashi chides. “Are you sure there isn’t anything else that you want?”
“I wanna see your face!” Naruto reaches up, grubby hands brushing against his chin. Kakashi pulls away before Naruto can yank his mask down. “I wanna see!”
“Okay, okay.” Kakashi puts his hands up. “If you behave for the next week until your birthday, I’ll get you a present you’ll like.”
Which wasn’t exactly the promise Naruto wanted, but after forcing Kakashi to pinky swear, he was content all the same. Either Kakashi would show him, or he’ll pull that mask down himself! The curiosity was eating him alive now that he knew there was something under his mask!
Naruto tried to be on his best behavior, picking only one fight with the other village kids, and breaking only one of Sasuke’s toys when Kushina and Mikoto tried to get them to play together. Despite their mothers being friends, Naruto and Sasuke could not stand each other, and most of their interactions resulted in at least one black eye. Sasuke was jealous of Naruto’s training, and the attention he received from his big brother; Sasuke dreamed of being like Itachi, of being his peer and not his kid brother. Seeing someone else live his dream, quietly watching Naruto train hard and get stronger while Sasuke struggled to keep up made him a bit quick to anger. And Naruto, used to other children disliking him, wasn’t in any mood to tolerate such behavior from Sasuke.
So the fact that he didn’t punch Sasuke was actually quite an achievement. Moreover, he was punctual and enthusiastic at school, when he’s usually lazy and uncaring, bored of the simple things they learn when Minato or Kushina or Kakashi had taught him all of that when he was learning to walk. Naruto really did try to be on his best behavior- he didn’t pull the ninken’s tails when he was jealous, he didn’t put spiders in Gai’s shoes when he came over, he didn’t throw any fits about dinner, he didn’t tantrum when Kakashi had an overnight mission.
So perhaps that was why Kakashi indulged him, appreciating the effort Naruto had made for something so unimportant.
Naruto’s birthday party consisted of only his parents and Kakashi. When Danzo leaked his status last year, the children had begun to treat him differently, and Naruto quickly disliked spending time with anyone who wasn’t immediately related to him. When Kushina tried to get Naruto to invite other people he knew, he insisted only on Kakashi attending, and that no one else be allowed. Since it was his birthday, Kushina and Minato didn’t push to force him to socialize, and allowed him to have a small party.
It was for the best. Naruto enjoyed every minute of it, soaking up their attention. Kushina and Minato were always busy, and Naruto wouldn’t claim to be neglected, but it was rare for them to both be at home, and to both spend so much time with him. The cherry on top was Kakashi himself, for Naruto was always eager to spend time with him.
When dinner was eaten, and cake was devoured, Minato and Kushina had given him presents to open. They were very nice, and while Naruto was excited for more toys, there was one thing he wanted more. So pushing aside all the wrapping paper, he approached Kakashi, placing his hands on his knees, a determined look on his face.
“You really want to see my face, huh?” Kakashi asked. Kushina giggled, Minato chuckled, and Naruto nodded fiercely. “Well, I brought you another gift in case you find it underwhelming.”
“You’re going to let me see?!” Naruto cried, ecstatic.
“Don’t tell anyone,” Kakashi murmurs, placing a finger where his mouth would be. Naruto copied him, nodding in promise. “Not even Gai has seen my face in a very long time. So this stays between you and me, alright?”
“I promise!” Naruto cries. “Now show me! Show me!”
Kakashi leaned away. One hand settled on Naruto’s shoulder, likely to hold him in place in case he became too excited. The other, however, gracefully slipped between his skin and his mask, and began to swiftly pull down, exposing the rest of his face. Naruto’s eyes widened, watching as his soft cheeks, flushed a gentle pink at his rapt attention, were revealed along with his sharp nose. He had a very strong jaw, yet they were softened by his plush lips, dreamy eyes, and shapely cheeks.
For a moment, Naruto could not speak. The sight before him left him nearly breathless. He knew Kakashi was awesome, having been trained by him on occasion, and having seen him fight Gai or Minato or Kushina. He knew Kakashi was a competent and capable shinobi, the youngest member of the Anbu, the youngest jonin the village had seen in ages. He knew Kakashi was talented, having mastered all five elements, and making a big name for himself as the Copy Ninja of Konoha.
But what Naruto didn’t know was that Kakashi was beautiful on top of all that.
“Kaka-nii is so pretty!” Naruto cried. His hands darted up to cup at Kakashi’s chin, amazed by how soft his face was. His cheeks were flushed darker with his words, jerking slightly at the touch.
“It’s nothing impressive,” Kakashi muttered. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Aw!” Kushina cried. “Kaka-nii is super cute, isn’t he, Naruto?!”
“Yes,” Naruto said, so seriously Minato chuckled. His fingers curled slightly around the warmth of his cheeks, enamored by the color and the heat. “Kaka-nii, let’s get married!”
Kushina laughed, loudly and unabashedly. Kakashi turned pink, embarrassed by Naruto’s bold words. Minato wasn’t even chuckling, giggling away at Kakashi’s expression and at Naruto’s earnest words.
“You marry people you think are pretty,” Naruto stated. “And people you wanna spend all your time with. Well, I think you’re very pretty, Kaka-nii. You’re even prettier than Ino or Sakura. And I wanna spend time with you, all the time.”
“You’re so earnest,” Kakashi murmurs, “And so bold. We can’t get married, Naruto.”
“Why not?! Make that my birthday present, too!”
“I’m four times your age,” Kakashi chides. “Don’t you think I’m an old man?”
Naruto tilts his head. The gray hair reminds him of old people, but coupled with his face, it suits him well. His hair seems silver, not in an aging with grace way, but in a way that matches his complexion and his deep, gray eyes. No, Kakashi didn’t look old at all. “Old people are ugly. And wrinkly. You’re not old. You can’t be much older than me. Six, maybe.”
Kushina snorted. Kakashi sighed. “I’m your brother, Naruto. You can’t marry your brother.”
“Why not?!”
There’s a brief moment where Minato’s smile turns into something contemplative. No one noticed at the time, and Naruto only remembers it years later. Perhaps it was the first inkling Minato had that his son’s infatuation with his former student might become a problem later in life. Or perhaps he wondered how to explain something so morally complex to a five year old.
Kakashi seemed to struggle with a proper answer. Perhaps a conversation in the issue of power dynamics would be useful, but no one wanted to truly speak about such dreadful things on a fun day. Kakashi’s eyes flickered towards Kushina and Minato for help, and when none came, he settled on, “I don’t like you that way.”
Naruto felt crushed. “Kaka-nii doesn’t like me?!”
“No!” Kakashi squeezes his shoulder. “I do like you. But marriage is a different kind of love that brothers don’t have. It’s the love between your mom and dad. It’s the kind of love that makes you, um, kiss each other. And want children together. Things like that. I like you a lot, Naruto. But I don’t want to kiss you. Brothers don’t do that. Okay?”
Naruto frowned, contemplating the answer that was given to him. A different type of love, then. Friends are a different type of love than family. Maybe it’s similar in that way. Kakashi was a friend who became family, so maybe he could become a family member who becomes a lover.
“Mommy kisses me,” Naruto states.
“Marriage has you kiss on the lips,” Kakashi murmurs. “Remember Ibiki and his wife? At the end of the ceremony, they kissed on the lips. It’s a different type of love. We don’t do that.”
“Naruto,” Minato calls. Perhaps it’s because he knows what Naruto’s next line of thinking will be- why can’t they kiss on the lips like married people do? “Didn’t Kakashi say he had another present for you? Don’t you want to see it?”
Naruto’s eyes light up. “I do! I do!”
It was a very good birthday, a memory Naruto looks back on fondly. Kakashi’s flustered expressions at Naruto’s declarations was certainly something he appreciated, but it was also the moment he realized he might not like Kakashi like a brother should. It’s gross when Kushina and Minato would kiss each other, but it didn’t seem so bad to think about doing it with Kakashi. Kakashi was pretty, and cool, and always listened to Naruto, and always made time to be with Naruto, and he really couldn’t imagine anything better than being with him forever.
Kushina tucks Naruto in that night, and when the lights go out, Naruto makes a quiet promise to himself. He’s going to marry Kakashi!
The first step to that plan will be trying to convince Kakashi to like him the way lovers do. If he could be convinced to be his brother, perhaps it isn’t impossible to make him a lover, too. The idea makes Naruto smile, of Kakashi dressed in white, and declaring that he wants to spend the rest of his life with Naruto, too.
It starts innocently enough.
Kakashi is the person Naruto spends most of his time with. Kakashi listens to him, makes time for him, and is way cooler and smarter and stronger than any of the other children near Naruto’s age. Kakashi is nice, indulgent on occasion, and isn’t an authority figure like his mother or his father. He doesn’t nag at him, he doesn’t boss him around, he doesn’t write him off as a silly child who doesn’t know anything. Kakashi is nice to him, and he even willingly became his older brother.
The children are mean. The adults are rude. Minato and Kushina love him, but they’re always so busy, and they always tell him what to do. Kakashi loved him, and treated him like no one else did. It was enough for Naruto to adore him. And it was enough to bloom into something uncontrollable the older he grows.
Naruto thinks he was born loving Kakashi. He had saved his life as an infant, and spent every moment after making sure Naruto felt loved and cared for. Naruto owed so much to Kakashi, and it seemed only fitting to love him so deeply in turn.
Naruto is going to marry him. He just needs to convince Kakashi of that.