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Salmons not sharks

Summary:

Team Chris is really⁴ hot except they're pirates and some British dude (noah) appears and Alejandro falls in love with him.... Woah

(THE CREW + MOSTLY EVERY OTHER CHARACTER IS 23-24 YEARS OLD HERE!!!!!!! LET THEM LIVE!!!!!!)

UPDATE!!!!! I'm currently remaking this fic so don't expect a new chapter to this one. Thank you for your (maybe existent) patience.

Notes:

I'VE HAD THIS CHAPTER FROM DECEMBER. uhhhh I really rushed this so expect very fast things or something. I put a LOT of references btw. This is kinda my first time writing a fan fiction woah,,,, ENJOY MY ASS WRITING!!!!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Shemesh after geshem

Chapter Text

[Christian's ship, 11:42, 1463.]

 

It was a normal morning for the crewmates and captain of Christian's ship, as the nice, soothing sounds of bright azure waters brushed against the ship. The seagulls in the bright sky flew ahead, making the most annoying 'sounds' known to man. No small cap of yellow sands was in reach, every point of view covered in water.

 

-

 

"Ey, Sierra, arr ye here?" Called a figure with curly hair as they entered the basement inside the ship.

 

"Aye. don't let Cap'n ale know I be 'ere, Izzyra." Sierra answered. 

 

Izzy entered the basement, she had a concerned expression on her face as she looked at the angry, purple-haired woman sitting in front of her, pouty face and all.

 

"I 'ave to tell him. If he notices that there ye be not stealin' with us 'he'll search fer ye an' drown ya. Or worse—" 

 

"i. Don't. Care." 

 

Sierra glared at Izzy, clenching her fists like she was ready to punch the wall. 

 

"I ain't stealing anymore. Not after the 'zekiel incident."

 

Izzy's eyes widened as she stepped back in disbelief. Her ginger brows furrowed in anger, her sharp teeth showed. 

 

Oh, she did NOT say that. 

 

"that'd been 2 years ago! Captain ale threw him into the ocean already, so leave him be."

 

Sierra looked away, ignoring her. 

 

"Sierra."

 

Sierra continued ignoring her, this time walking away.

 

"Sierra. SIERRA!"

 

Still no answer. 

 

    ***

 

"ah, ahoy, mi Amiga, ready to sail an' steal?" The captain asked sierra, .

 

"no, Alejandro." Sierra denied sharply. 

 

That made Alejandro pause for a second. Most of the time, Sierra would've been enthusiastic as hell. What is wrong with her today?

 

"what do ye mean, 'no'?"

 

Sierra didn't respond.

 

"what. Do. You. Mean, 'no'."

 

His eye twitched at the silence.

 

"Sierra.Tell me why ye denied."

 

The silent treatment made him quickly grow more and more angry every second with the lack of response. In one swift motion, he grabbed his sharp, blood-covered cutlass from his suspiciously big pocket (seriously, how many things could he put there?),as he pointed it right at her chin.

 

"ANSWER ME, OR YE'LL GET BEHEADED WITH THIS SWORD!" He yelled at her, watching in irritation as she quickly got fearful.

 

Sierra swallowed. She had started to breathe harder, to be honest, knowing alejandro's impatience, that was pretty expected. 

 

"I-I DON'T WANT TO STEAL ANYMORE, ALE! I DON'T—" she gasped as Alejandro set his sword closer. 

 

"how dare ye call me that and tell you don't want to plunder. If you refuse to steal again, I swear with every drop of water in the bloody ocean, I'll drown you."

 

"b-but, captain-! stealin' be the worst way of' gettin' gold! I will not Steal until ye people learn how to respect manners!"

 

Alejandro glared at her. 

 

"ya really arr a bad pirate, aren't ye?" He turned around, lowering the cutlass. 

 

"DUNCAN!" Alejandro shouted, "TOSS ME A LONG ROPE, WILL YE?"

 

Duncan, in the distance, nodded, and threw a long rope into alejandro's arms. It was rusty and quite dirty. 

 

Alejandro grinned. 

 

"looks like ye be walkin' the plank, amiga."

***

 

Izzy came back from the basement a couple minutes later, looking around for Sierra. She climbed to the crow's nest, moving to stand next to duncan and Alejandro. 

 

"say, where's Sierra? What'd ye do with her now?"

 

Duncan glanced at her.

 

"Alejandro drowned her in the ol' plank trick. Surprisingly she didnt scream."

 

He smirked. 

 

"ye can drop thee worried act, y'know."

 

And just like that- Izzy burst out laughing, throwing her head back. She did not care a single ounce of sea water about Sierra, really. 

 

"Argh! She had it comin'!" She said as she wiped a tear off her eye.

 

"poor ol' girl must've missed all her golden jewel an' collectives." Duncan murmured.

 

Meanwhile, Alejandro was looking through his spyglass, finding nothing interesting in the azure, deep ocean. But then, he spotted a log with something holding onto it. It looked like a big fish with long arms, maybe rather a dead hawk, but he looks more into it, and he sees... 

 

A human. 

 

His eyes widened. He had never seen a living human just out there in the water, hanging onto a log. as he looked further, the guy had scars all over his wrists and his rectangled nose, with flowy, dark chocolate hair of his swirling in the water. it was a very handsome man.

 

Well, To him, at least. 

 

"Izzy, Duncan, me hearties, there's a human hanging to a log. You know what this means." He called.

 

"What does it mean?" Izzy asked, confused. 

 

"Oh, for—" Alejandro pinched the bridge of his nose "just... Grab a darn rope and help the man out."

 

Izzy and Duncan looked at him and groaned. Yet they still ran down to grab a rope and save the random man.

 

As they rescued the man, Izzy dragged him to the ship by his shoulders.

 

"Ugh... Goddamn crabs.." The man said, rubbing at his damp forehead. 

 

"Argh! It's jus' some man! Let's 'row him aft into the bloody ocean!"

 

"ah, no need, mi Amiga..."

 

Alejandro stepped towards the man, smirking at him. 

 

"he be a fellow stealer, so we don't need to 'row him aft into the sea!"

 

Izzy groaned

 

"aw man, I could've eaten him with the other fish!"

 

Meanwhile — the man stared at Alejandro with widened eyes and ears flushed red, his cheeks felt hot, too. He yanked himself away from Izzy, standing up and wringing out the water from his hair.

 

Alejandro leaned towards him.

 

"hola, mi amigo, my name's cap'n Alejandro, mind telling us yours?"

 

"Um.. Noah, sir." Answered the man

 

"well, Noah, I suppose from all that jewelry and stitched clothes, ye be a stealer, right?" Alejandro spoke, cupping Noah's face with one hand while the other wrapped around his wrist.

 

Noah became a bit flustered. God, those warm, soft hands felt so nice against his face— wait, what?

 

"..uh, no, I'm not."

 

Alejandro grinned. Again. A smile with teeth that went from one ear to another.

 

"IZZY! come! Let's rob him!"

 

"W-WAIT- WHAT? EXCUSE ME?" Noah exclaimed. 

 

Izzy cackled and immediately stood up, but when Alejandro muttered "calm down, I'm just kidding!" A frown formed on her face. 

 

"So, ye be welcome to the ship, er.. Nolan. Mind tellin' us where ye came from?" Alejandro asked. 

 

"uh, a mental asylum, sir. I worked there. And again, it's noah."

 

Alejandro gave him a nod, eyes narrowing a little. 

 

"ah. Okay then..." 

 

He cleared his throat

 

"anyway, I suppose ye can join the crew, ye'd look like a jolly ole fisher.. Maybe ye'd like to fish with izzy?"

 

"the ginger one??" Noah responded. 

 

"yes. The ginger one."

 

"wow. So great to fish with someone who just robbed you." He said sarcastically in a naval voice.

 

Alejandro chuckled softly.

 

"anywho.. Wanna meet the crew? There's more than just me an' Izzy, I swear."

 

Alejandro lead Noah to the kitchen part of the ship, where the crew members were currently eating clam chowder at the small tavern. the kitchen was filled with the smell of fish and Clam chowder, not to mention the horrible stink of cheese, which, everyone but Noah seemed not to notice. 

 

And when he noticed, he noticed hard.

 

"blegh! What is that grisly stank? Smells like decaying flesh!" Noah wheezed.

 

Alejandro laughed, a hand moving to rest on Noah's shoulder. Definitely not as an excuse to touch him, nope.

 

"ah, that just be cheese, amor. Ye'll get used to it once ye start eatin' it more."

 

He cleared his throat, straightening up.

 

"anywho, meet your new crewmates! There's duncan," 

 

his hand gestured towards duncan, the man with the thick unibrow and weird, green Mohawk. 

 

"And izzy," 

 

his hand gestured towards Izzy, the ginger and curly-haired woman who was currently sipping on clam chowder. 

 

"and Tyler," 

 

his hand gestured towards the Brunnete-haired man with a red bandana knot on his head. 

 

"And finally, Owen."

 

His hand gestured towards the blonde, fat chef stirring the pot of chowder. 

 

Owen heard Alejandro and noticed Noah. He smiled, waving a hand. 

 

"oh, ahoy there! Welcome to me kitchen of wonders!!" Owen urged

 

"sure. Definitely a kitchen of 'wonders'. What do you guys eat daily, anyway?" 

 

Izzy's head turned to him, and she grinned as a yellow thick drop of the soup trickled down her chin.

 

"Argh, just some beans an' fish or soup, we got pretty normalized to what you consider a smell!"

 

"huh. More normal than I thought.."

 

He then felt a strong hand on his shoulder, looked up, and it was Alejandro.

 

"hey, do ye want me to show ye yer new sleepin' place? we 'ave had a separate bed ever since we drowned our last crew mate."

 

Noah gulped nervously at the last part. 

 

"uh, sure, I guess..." He cleared his mouth. "Also, it's called a 'bedroom', not a 'sleeping place'."

 

They exited the kitchen and went to the 'sleeping place', where there were three pairs of top and bottom hanging hammocks, the last hammock filled with various nets of fish. They were hung between the ships wooden beams, making creaking sounds like they would fall apart any second. 

 

"ye be welcome to yer new sleepin' place! yer bed be above the fish collection, so if ye smell rotten flesh oftentimes, then—"

 

"then you will come and take them away?"

 

"—of course not! We don't care, What does this look like to ye, a castle?" 

 

Noah just stood there in awkward silence, feeling stupid. 

 

Luckily, Alejandro broke the silence. 

 

"anyway... Do ye 'ave anythin' to put on the bed? perhaps a bag or somethin'?"

 

Noah shook his head. He was strangely polite for a dude who looked sarcastic and disrespectful.

 

"no, sir."

 

"please, call me captain. Or just Alejandro, I really don't care."

 

A nod from Noah. He walked towards the hammock and searched for something he could climb with.. Then found a ladder and climbed it, brows furrowing as the wood creaked loudly. 

 

"try to see if it be comfortable enough for ye. Sometimes we 'ave to replace tis hammock's fish nets." Alejandro stated.

 

"how do you people even sleep at night? This sounds like it's gonna, um.. Wrap... Um.. tear open any second!" He stuttered with a concerned expression. 

 

Alejandro shrugged. 

 

"I don't know, ask one of theen other crewmates! I sleep in me quarrrter, an' I also sleep in a bed rather than a filthy hammock."

 

Noah stared at him in disbelief, surprised at the mention of a bed. 

 

"jeez, for a pirate, you sound like royalty."

 

"arrgh, thank you, me matey!" Alejandro responded softly.

 

"that.. Wasn't a compliment, but okay..."

 

He climbed a couple more feet, finally reaching the hammock. He weirdly felt... Peaceful, all of a sudden, like nothing's really overwhelming him for once. 

 

He sat on the hammock, his weight pushing the nets down a little. His legs were suffering from the thin, sharp and bruising fabric pressing on his skin, but it was, still, comfortable. 

 

"so?"

 

"it's fine, I guess..."

 

He layed on his stomach. 

 

"so what now?" Noah Asked, voice slightly quiet. 

 

"I guess... ye can eat. I bet ye was at sea for a long time an' didnt 'have anythin' to devour. Come on!" Alejandro said. 

 

Alejandro offered a hand to Noah to help him get off the hammock, Noah hesitated for a second, remembering he disliked physical touch, before nodding and taking alejandro's hand with his.

 

He jumped off the hammock with a grunt, holding alejandro's hand as they exited the sleeping room and headed to the kitchen. Noah felt much more comfortable now that he was less soggy and tired

 

Alejandro's hand was rather... Clammy, or at least dirty, but it had a soft texture of skin to it, like holding leather with a mix of cotton.

 

When they finally reached the kitchen door, Alejandro had let go of Noah's hand. When he opened the door, there was the faint sounds of water running and clinking of dishes. Izzy was still sitting at the tavern with Duncan and Tyler next to her, repeatedly cheering "chug" as She was drinking a beer two times larger than her head and holding the bottle with two of her hands.

 

When she finished, she burped so loudly that the dishes shook. Duncan and Tyler clapped. 

 

"WOO! that be the loudest burp I've ever let out!" She said.

 

"will you SHUT UP?" Noah shouted. He hated loud sounds, especially gross ones.

 

Izzy glanced at him, smirking and raising an eyebrow in the most annoying, skin-crawling way possible. 

 

"Well I can't suppose I'd uhh.... Fart out of me mouth quietly. Plus, it be funny!" She said smugly with a lower tone. She leaned against the chair's non-existent back, apparently succeeding in not falling back.

 

Noah's eye twitched, but he decided to stay quiet. 

 

He went to Sit on a chair too, arms crossed as he spoke to owen.

 

"What do you have to serve, big-o?"

 

It was a deadpan and exasperated voice, but owen still noticed.

 

The bigger guy turned around with a "hm?", a smile creeped up on his face when he saw Noah. 

 

"ah, either fish, soup, beans, or beer. I don't know what they served you back in England, but I expect it to be yummy!" 

 

"I was born in a rusty village with a dead horse as a window and worked 6 years in an asylum. I'll take the soup."

 

Owen hummed. He turned to grab a bowl from one of the cabinets in the kitchen and filled it with the fresh vegetable soup, green and orange chunks over a nice-smelling liquid that looked like puke. 

 

handing it to Noah with a wooden spoon, the smaller man sipped it with a slow, loud sip.... 

 

And oh Lord, 

 

It was amazing. 

 

Noah's eyes snapped open as he violently chugged down all of the soup, not noticing the chunks falling out of the bowl.

 

It has been a lot, and a lot of time since Noah ate something actually tasty, most of the time it was either gravy or the least colorful cranberries imaginable.

 

Meanwhile, the others watched in dry concern as Noah started to chug down the entire soup like he was a starving peasant getting food for the first time.

 

Settling the bowl down while he panted, Noah stared into nothing while trying to catch his breath. 

 

"...i have never seen such a hungry fella." Izzy whispered.

 

"Give me 20 more" Noah Spit out.

 

Before Owen could've responded, the ship had suddenly swayed, yanking Noah down to the floor as he fell flat on his back into the slightly damp wooden floor. 

 

A rush of nausea waved over him. 

 

"Ugh... Oh God....."

 

yet apparently getting up and 'running' to the nearest sight of water with five eyes on him was not the best idea.

 

Arriving at the nearest bulwark, he quickly bent down and puked into the ocean, tears filling his eyes.

 

He sat down on a short barrel, trying to catch his breath. But then he heard a soft voice from behind (which, is rare for the constant white noise which drummed in his ears.)

 

"Noah?! Me matey, are ye okay?" Alejandro asked, coming to come and check noah and see if he's okay. Noah didn't respond for a few seconds before finally slurring out an answer. 

 

"I don't...." Noah sniffed, "I don't t-think so.... Augh...." That only made Alejandro even more worried. He began rubbing slow lines on Noah's shoulders with his palms, trying to calm Noah down. 

 

Meanwhile, Izzy and Duncan were behind them just listening to whatever they were saying. 

 

"He's never been this soft other than that time Tyler had scurvy!" Izzy whispered to Duncan, who whispered back "if he tries to scratch Nolan's ass to make him feel better like he did with tyler, I will drown him."

 

"Uh, his name is noah."

 

"Dont care."

 

Alejandro had tried to comfort Noah a little and suggested he'd rest, and Noah agreed. He stumbled as he got into the sleep room, rubbing at his head. 

 

"Ye don't seem like ye can climb right now... Would ye mind if I lifted ye up to yer hammock?" Alejandro asked. 

 

Noah shook his head (which he regretted painfully as a headache started to form in his head), causing Alejandro to smile mischievously. Before the shorter man could've made a snarky remark about it, a fit of strong, tan arms wrapped around his back and pushed him upwards.

 

In the 4 seconds of being in alejandro's arms, Noah saw almost every detail of alejandro's face, like how his apple green eyes shined from the light outside, or how a strand of his front hair was slightly in the way of his nose, or how-

 

"Need anything else?"

 

That soft pirate voice snapped Noah out of his so-called "thoughts", as he blinked and shook his head, which, again, made him wince.

 

"No thanks, uh... Alejandro. I'm good. Man, I was just... Like..." He trailed off, not knowing what to say. 

 

Alejandro chuckled warmly, God, that laugh - it made Noah blush and smile. He quickly covered his mouth, eyes wide as he realized what happened. 

 

"I- you- you made me smile for the first time in like- years." Noah blurted out.

 

Alejandro laughed, "well, I'm glad, most of the time I make people scream." That made Noah roll his eyes, but he couldn't hide the snicker he let out and the grin that formed on his face. 

 

"Just shut up and get out of here, you witz." Noah murmured, and Alejandro laughed out a 'fine, fine!' In mock irritation. Then, without warning, He grabbed Noah's hand and kissed his knuckles. 

 

That made Noah almost explode, stuttering And turning his head away (which made him wince for the 3rd time) and biting his nails. When Alejandro had finally left the sleeping room, Noah looked at his knuckles,  he felt warm and giddy inside for some reason. 

 

He sighed and layed back down on the hammock, ignoring the painful nets buried onto his back.

 

 

***

"i'm telling you, brah, ace is MORE powerful than King!"

 

Owen and Tyler were playing war on a crate, both of them sitting on short wooden boxes. They argued a little while Izzy and Duncan watched and enjoyed it

 

"No, no, you're thinking of cheater! We're playing war, Tyler!" Owen shouted.

 

"Please, mi amigos, why are we fighting over a card game?"

 

All of them turned their head around to see their captain standing near the closed door of the sleeping room. then, he walked slowly to stand next to them, a couple more steps... Imagine this as really dramatic.... 

 

Suddenly a groan and a faceplant to the barrel with cards. His face was flushed and his usual sarcastic smile was replaced with a wiggly frown.

 

The others were thrown back. What the hell was wrong with him now??? 

 

"What happened to the ol' charming captain we had? Did Noah call you 'al' or a racial slur?" Izzy asked, hand moving to play with Alejandro's hair. She was the type of person to show a lot, and a lot of affection to people, even if she didn't have anything romantic with them.

 

An annoyed grunt from the Spaniard, he lifted his head to glare half-heartedly at her, his face still warm. 

 

"First of all, don't call me that. Second of all.... No, he didn't say anything offensive, I just...."

 

He trailed off, and everyone raised an eyebrow which just made him get irritated even more. Stupid crewmates.

 

"I...." He sighed. "I might be in love. With Noah. The new man."

 

Nobody said anything. Their mouths were agaped, though. 

 

And then—

 

"FINALLY!" izzy shouted, "FINALLY, I CAN GET A SECOND CAPTAIN!!!!!!" she cackled, taking Alejandro's hat and throwing it to the crows nest. 

 

The guys were very..... excited, too, cheering and all, hugging Alejandro and congratulating him for 'being in love for the first time'.

 

But Duncan didn't have it. It's not that he had anything against love or anything, hell, he was married to Owen! But he was really suspicious of Noah, not to mention his rude attitude and weird, ugly face. And Alejandro had only known Noah for an hour or so, and that made things worse. 

 

But he decided not to say anything. 

 

"Dude, why don't you like, uh... Say your love to him or something? What's it called again?" Tyler asked. 

 

"It's called confessing, Tyler. And why are you people so excited about the fact that I'm in love??" Alejandro spoke. Izzy cackled again, jumping to land on Alejandro's back frog-style, making Alejandro let out a "oof!"

 

"Because, you haven't been inlove in almost all 7 years on sea! Most of the time it was just... Manipulations! You've never really seemed the type of person to... Uh... 'Have a crush'."' Izzy responded, spasing on the " have a crush" part. 

 

"Still, I don't think you should see it as a celebration!" Alejandro claimed. Izzy rolled her eyes. 

 

"Jeez, fine... We're just glad to see you happy for once!"

 

"Well, thank you, but I'm fine."

 

He paused at the awkward silence.

 

"I'm just... Gonna go back to my log."

 

***

 

it had been a fun day for the crew, as they followed their similar routine that they do almost every day. They eat, play, drink, eat, drink, drink, party, and go to sleep. Noah was dead asleep half of the day, izzy even tried shaking his hammock in order to invite him to the tiny concert they did for themselves. 

 

But nothing seemed to wake him up, 'maybe he didn't get a lot of sleep in his past' thought Alejandro, which, for a pretty apathetic person, he felt a little sympathetic for him. 

 

Once the other crewmates went to bed and snored, Alejandro was still awake, due to his insomnia. 

 

Nothing worked for him. He tried blinking multiple times until his eyes were tired, maybe thinking about counting eels would help? Nah, that never worked. 

 

Bored, he got off his bed and went upstairs from his inside-ship log and got to the sleeping room. Everyone was dead asleep, snores as loud as a hawk. But his eyes instantly glued to the sleepy Noah above him. 

 

Noah's was on his side, half-buried onto a pillow that he clutched. There was a puddle of drool that came out of his mouth, with dark circles under his eyes and pimples visible under the bright blue light of the moon outside. 

 

Alejandro couldn't help but think he looked cute, and his hand automatically moved to brush a hair behind Noah's ear. 

 

Realizing what he did, Alejandro quickly turned his flushed face away. God, what was he doing? He isn't the soft, affectionate type. No, no, no, that's izzy! But he still couldn't stop thinking about that dorky, funny face of the brit above him. 

 

And for once, he chose free will. 

 

He quietly climbed a couple feet up on the ladder next to the hammocks, before pressing a soft kiss to Noah's scarred nose. 

 

....dear mother of the seven seas, his skin was so, so delicate. 

 

He stayed there for a few seconds before quickly tip-toeing back to his log, feeling the happiest he's ever felt. 

 

Quietly giggling and squealing and kicking his feet, he had only one thought in his head:

 

he was so in love. 

Notes:

And then uhhhhhhh had dreams of Noah making out with him or something. Yayyy

Also I will probably never upload the second chapter cuz I procrastinate a LOT ✌🥹 idk what to put here. Walk thee plank or something

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