Chapter Text
Nancy Wheeler awoke as she often did.
Too early, too cold, too lonely.
It was the loneliness that struck her most.
She had her brother with her, her little sister in the other room.
And her mom across the hall.
She had her semi-family. Who weren't always the closest but looked out for each other. Loved each other. Even if it wasn't what she'd always been told a family should look like.
She pondered that, but just as she thought she might be able to go back to sleep, her alarm went off.
Quickly silencing the alarm to not wake up the rest of the house, Nancy started her day.
Showered and dressed; organized her schoolbooks and her backpack.
Grabbed whatever was available for a quick breakfast in the kitchen.
And went outside to wait for the bus.
Her mom's car was right by her side.
It was a cold November morning, the chill biting the air.
She was playing music too. Maybe trying to lose herself a bit.
These days weren't always the easiest to get out of bed for.
She was good at school. She was going to use it to leave Hawkins for good one day. But it also brought her loneliness to the surface in full force.
But then the bus came by.
The same bus as always. Both modern and not. See-through and connected to the power lines, but also the only one for miles. It was stopped at the light. And it was stopped for her.
She ran over, trying to catch it quickly.
As usual, even at this early hour, the bus was already full.
But one boy moved his stuff, shoved it under the seat, and moved over.
She vaguely recognized him as one of her younger brother's friends’ older brother.
They’d probably met as kids. But now, he was working from what she remembered. When he wasn't in school. So did she.
Hawkins wasn't the most prosperous of areas. Everyone worked for the small comforts they had.
Largely, the company of each other.
So she sat down next to him.
"Thank you. And apologies, but I know you, right?"
"Yeah, I'm Will's older brother. I used to pick him up from your house when we were little. Nancy, right?"
"Yeah"
"Jonathan. Nice to re-meet you."
"Nice to re-meet you. And for you to give me a spot. I hope I didn't inconvenience you."
"No. I was just finishing up. The bus starts out by us, so I've been on it for plenty of time already."
"What were you working on?"
"Some photos on my laptop. Took them with an old film camera and had them digitized. It just looks better than the new ways you know. The detail, what you can capture. Plus, this is a pretty empty part of town, so looking outside, I find inspiration."
"That's really cool. And I agree - some of the old ways are best."
"You say that like you use some too."
"I do. I write. For the student paper, and I work for the town paper, writing when they let me, which is a lot more often now, no one else does. And yeah, I type it all eventually. But I write by hand, do my note-taking and organizing by hand. Interview people with an old recorder and dictate notes to myself. It'll keep me well-versed in the tried-and-true of the work. Besides, I can't afford all the new things anyway."
"Neither can I. But I like your way of looking at it."
"Thanks. I like yours too. Details make the whole picture."
He nodded, smiling.
She smiled back.
And the bus pulled up.
"So, do you want me to save you another seat tomorrow?"
"Absolutely, thank you. But only if it doesn’t.."
"I'm normally on the bus almost an hour before anyone else. I have plenty of time. Besides, maybe you'll need some photos for a piece, and I can do them."
"Yeah, that'd be nice."
They went their separate ways, yet each felt a newfound lightness.
"Nancy, you are never going to believe it." Her best friend, Robin Buckley, strolled up with her.
"Did she say yes?"
"Yes. We are going out. Me, the band nerd, and the hottest girl in school."
"I am so happy for you, Rob. Genuinely. You deserve it."
Her coming out hadn't been the easiest. Well, to Nancy it had, she just told her. And Nancy accepted right away.
But some parts of the school weren't as easy. Even now.
But Nancy watched out for those and protected her friend. Like Robin would for her.
"Thank you. But don't let me distract you. What's got you walking a bit peppier?"
"Nothing. Just"
They arrived at their lockers and quickly opened them.
"Remember Jonathan Byers?"
"Yeah, he used to be everywhere. Now he just works, locked away. Didn't your brothers hang out?"
"They still do. But I rode the bus with him this morning. The whole thing was packed, but he made some space for me. It was nice. Really nice. And we got to talking, and we clicked."
"Nancy has a crush." She said in a singsong fashion.
"No, I...you know I've been feeling lonely recently. It was just nice to have a connection with someone. Not like you aren't my best friend in the world. But I've been a bit lost since Barb moved."
"I know. And I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it awkward."
"You didn't. I just didn't realize it until this morning. And then he was there. It was like a sign."
"Good. You know what else it is ? A sign that you’ll pass the tests. Come on, let's slay some dragons."
Across the school, Jonathan Byers was settling in for the day with his old foe turned old friend, Steve Harrington.
"So Byers, why do you look 10 years younger?"
"First, I am not that old. Second, just a nice moment on the bus this morning. Mike's older sister. We haven’t seen each other in years, much less talked. But today, something pulled me to move my stuff for her; she just seemed sad. Like, not in a mocking way. But in a deep melancholy. I've been there too. And then we just talked the whole way in. It was just nice."
"Johnny boy, that's a crush. And I remember her, I've seen her around for the paper. She's cute."
"And her articles are good."
"Well, it's not groundbreaking material, but yeah."
"So, I don't know. It was just a good start to the week, you know."
"I do. Say, do you have the afternoon off at The Hawk ?"
"For once, I actually do. Why?"
"Come over ?"
"Deal."
The next morning, they repeated their routine from the day before.
This time, Nancy had a story she was gearing up to pitch.
"So the administration has been lying."
"What else is new?" He joked. He'd been promised some things, including funding to cover events. Then it got pulled.
"They're focusing more on their own pockets and keeping our just so wonderful athletic department alive. Not their education, not our paper. You run a photography club, right ? Teach the younger students how to ?"
"Yeah. And they keep saying we'll get new stuff for the darkroom, new tech. But honestly, Nance."
Nance, she felt a warmth in the ease of it from him. Like they hadn't just met again yesterday.
"We've never gotten it. For years now. It's always been the same stuff. I took a look at it one day, it's from the 90's."
"Wow. And that's exactly it. We don't have any new resources, so we go out to college old-fashioned and unequipped. Or not at all, since we can’t afford to prepare for it
But yet our sports teams get so much funding, pull in random people we've never heard of, and still struggle. Mostly. The one guy's pretty good."
"Steve, yeah, he's my best friend. We've worked together a bunch, kind of fought in middle school, but grew up in the summer between. And I agree - he's the best one on that team by a mile. I’m not unbiased, though."
"Fair, it's not even just them, though. It’s every team.
So my pitch is to explore the various fundraising campaigns we've run, get the books, and track them. Track the spending disclosures. Find the discrepancies."
"They'll let you do that ?"
"If I lie and say it's about someone, something else."
"Smart move."
The bus pulled up, and once again they went their separate ways. Just with a wave this time. A smile. A pep in their steps.
Again, leaving their best friends very confused.
"Nancy, Nancccccyyyy"
"Yeah, Rob?"
"You look the same as yesterday. Look, I know I'm primed to see it right now because I'm happy, because I found it for me. But come on, let yourself be happy, admit it's a crush."
She laughed. Robin kept her out of her shell. She needed that.
"It could be one day. Sure. But for now, it's just nice. Come with me?”
They had a free period, so they sat together in the library. Nancy wasn’t sure how exactly to begin this conversation.
"Look, Robin, I love you, you know that, right. Like it's you and me against this place."
"Yeah, I do, what's wrong? Tell me everything, babe."
"Nothing per se, it's just, besides you, it's just a lot. Living here. Trying to help my family with their lives, trying to help earn enough to keep us going, and trying to make sure Mike and Holly have childhoods, not one like mine after the split.
So I just don't want to jump to conclusions or make things more complicated or awkward before it can just be another place for me to relax, not have to be on, not have to handle everything, or worry about it all.”
She took a deep breath. Some of this she'd only recently admitted to herself. She figured if she could, she should see someone; it's probably a form of depression.
"In all honesty, I'm just so tired and worn out. I just want to sit in my bed all day and wait. Wait for something to happen. Something nice. Not like you aren't. And haven't been. But I keep struggling to see the way out besides college. And what if we can't afford it, or I can't get in? Or my test scores aren’t good enough? Like, when am I supposed to take them or study for them?”
She paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to say this.
“I'm just scared, Rob. Of failing and being trapped here. And sometimes, some mornings, it's a struggle to get out of bed. I have good days, days with you, especially. I know I don't have to reassure you this much, but I want to. You're so important to me, and I couldn't be doing this without you, honestly. But just, I don't know how to get out of here before it eats my family, eats me whole. I feel so stuck. And I just want to be okay again."
She was blinking back tears that threatened to spill. She'd never told another soul most of that.
"Nancy, whenever you get like that. Just call me, okay. I’ll be there whenever, wherever you need me. Or you could try Jonathan now, I bet he’d understand. Look, I want nothing but the best for you. Nothing about their split was your fault, nothing about Barb having to move was your fault. You...you had no way of knowing, okay. None.
And I appreciate it, but don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I don't expect much, so things going well are a surprise. Worry about yourself. Well, don’t worry. Just live for yourself. And on the rest, you, you are getting out of here, Wheeler. I know that much in my bones. And I will be by your side when you do. You're going to change the world one day, you know that, right?"
"I hope so." Her eyes were still watery.
Robin looked briefly, and the place was empty.
So she jumped over to her friend's side, held her to her chest, tucked her head into her shoulder, and just let her cry it out.
For a while.
"Thank you."
"Always. I've got you."
Jonathan was having a slightly lighter day.
He and Steve had hung out last night, gotten a little high, a light buzz.
It helped clear his head from the weight that he also had to be the one providing for his family. For Will and his mom Joyce. He didn't get nights like that off much; he felt lucky when he did.
So the next day, Steve also clocked his mood immediately and saddled up next to him.
"It'd happened again, didn't it?"
"Yeah, but I can't. I can't push it or ruin it. It's been what two days?"
"Two days of a lightness I've rarely, rarely seen you with."
"That is true." He knew it could soon develop into a crush. He wasn't blind. She was beautiful. And passionate. And caring.
He'd mentioned her in front of Will, and Will regaled him with stories Mike had told him about her. And she was trying to fix things. He loved that.
"But Steve, I also don't know how long this is going to go on, okay?"
"Can you answer me this, though ?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you have a crush on her?"
Jonathan nodded after making sure no one was around.
"Knew it."
They laughed together as they went to first period. That they did have together.
It would keep happening. For the rest of the week, now unsaid, Jonathan would leave a space for her.
They talked on Wednesday and Thursday.
But not Friday.
Friday, Nancy had been up way too late, working on a school piece after her job.
And had fallen asleep at her desk, only woken up by the morning light.
So she was still pretty much a husk.
Jonathan was the same way. The photos had taken a long time to get right, and his brother had needed him.
He had plopped into bed a little before 2am.
So he was pleasantly surprised to see Nancy still come over; he figured he looked like hell.
She sat down, quickly and quietly.
"Hey, it is okay if we just sit together today? I really like doing our morning chats, but I'm dead inside right now."
"Of course. So am I."
And she closed her eyes.
That morning, there were some road closures due to the weather, so they had to take the very, very long way. It technically made them late, but it was an excused absence.
Nancy spent 90% of this time asleep. Lost without feeling that crushing pressure she normally did outside of her few moments of respite, time with Robin, maybe now time too with Jon.
And some part of her subconscious felt it too. She ended up with her head on his very comfortable shoulder. And her hand, almost resting over his.
He was also out to the world. So he did the same thing. Their hands were almost interlocked. Resting on each other.
To any random stranger or outsider, they looked like a couple, finding peace and solace in each other.
Nancy woke up first. She felt cozy, a lack of gaping fear in her gut. Or anxiety in her veins.
She wondered why, then remembered. She was on the bus with Jonathan Byers, who also softly snored next to her. They...they were almost holding hands, and she was on him completely. She didn't move so as not to jar them and just went back to sleep, a small, small smirk on her face.
Good to know. Noted for the future.
He woke up next, going through similar steps.
Realizing someone was on him, that he was leaning on Nancy. Holding her hand. And that he liked it. And that it seemingly had quieted his brain. He wasn't stressed. Was breathing normally. And promptly fell back asleep.
The bus stopping should've woken them up. And it eventually did.
But it turns out the bus driver had waited and taken one more spin to give them a minute, recognizing that they were both bone-deep exhausted.
Then, the second stop woke them up.
"I think we're here, Nancy," Jonathan said quietly.
"We are." She got up but slowly.
"How long were we out?"
"A while, I think we missed first period."
"You did. But it's okay. They knew it was going to happen when they sent me out this morning. You're all clear." The bus driver told them, coming over from her nook.
"Thank you," Jonathan said. The driver nodded and then left.
Nancy and Jonathan then got off the bus as they usually did. But maybe sticking together a second longer.
Robin found her first.
"Nancy, I was so worried. But then I called your house, and your mom said you were fine, it was just the bus. But still, how are you?"
"I'm okay, Rob. Got some more sleep on the bus with all the crap going on. I feel a bit more like me now."
"Good. We've got a lot to do today. Nothing major, just a lot of things to cross off the list," Robin nervously added, seeing her fear.
"Okay, let's do it." She did feel refreshed.
Steve saw Jonathan at lunch.
"Dude. What happened ?"
"Road closures, snow, or maybe wind. Or both, honestly, I don't know. But apparently they knew, so we're all good."
"We? Are you talking about?"
He nodded at her and Robin across the room. That felt major to Jonathan, seeing her outside of their bus. As major as sleeping on each other for the better part of an hour did.
"Yes, we did."
"Well, I am glad for that. And for you, man, you deserve something good."
"You bring that along yourself, Steve."
They laughed, enjoying the later meal today.
That night, Nancy was fretting in bed.
They'd accomplished everything today. Her and Robin.
But that created some new deadlines. Things to have to get in on time. Papers, presentations. The school paper even assigned her a feature. Her first of the semester.
So she couldn't sleep. And felt it again. The existential dread.
So she called Robin, who answered on the first ring.
"Nancy ? What time is it?"
"Midnight. But it's happening. I'm worried, I can't sleep. I'm in my own head."
"Then just breathe, Nance. Listen to my voice. I'm right here. Well, not right here but on the phone. Over the line, the internet. cellular, however, this thing works."
Nancy laughed.
"Good, knew that would get you. But just remember what I told you this week: you have me always, and you will pull this off. You are the smartest person I know. And I'll add this, you are loved, Nancy. By me, your family. You have us in your corner. And maybe even Jonathan?" She took a gamble, but she also saw the calm Nancy had when she got in, so she knew that it could be something.
"Maybe." She should call him.
"And you don't always have to be strong. You can just be yourself. She's pretty great."
"Robin.."
"I'm just saying, Nancy, not just everyone has the benefits of my friendship; I'm very selective in my vetting process."
"Only you could pull me back from the brink this much." She laughed, teary-eyed.
"Don't count yourself out. Or like I said, try Byers."
"I will. I love you.”
”I love you too.”
So she did try Jonathan. The first time outside of their morning ride. He’d given her his number during the week. He picked up on the first ring, too.
"Nancy?"
"Hey, I didn't wake you, right?"
"No, I'm up. I actually just got in for the night. What's up?"
"Nothing, I just couldn't sleep. So I called Robin first, and she talked me back from the brink, but I wanted to talk to you too."
"I'm all ears."
They talked about nothing and everything until their eyes felt heavy. Even closed as their only tether to the world became the other’s voice.
"And thank you for this morning, by the way. That was nice." She said.
"Of course. I've been like that way too often, too. I just did what I would want then?"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, just someone to be there. Share the feeling, try and take it away."
"Are you saying I calmed your nerves??" She half-teased, half-not. Half of her hoped that his answer was yes.
"You did. That's a rare batch of people right there that can do it."
'Well, you calmed mine too. And that's an ever smaller batch."
They laughed.
They fell asleep before they hung up. They had planned to just let it happen, that one would fall asleep and the other would end it, but both were quickly out instead. Found themselves in nightmare-free sleeps.
Woke up in the morning to see that their call had been ongoing for 8+ hours. On the other side, they just heard the other breathing. Very quietly, calmly.
Nancy smiled at that. She knew it wasn't a relationship or crush thing, just a place to rest her head. Find some peace in her otherwise insane world.
Jonathan shrugged his earlier thought off, too. This was more than that. This was just two lonely souls finding a quiet place in each other in their stressful, difficult town.
They were about to say something, possibly, but then his phone ran out of power, and the call ended.
Both were back asleep in no time.