Chapter Text
Mingi hadn't talked to Yunho in years, not since he packed up and left the small town they grew up in. He moved away five years ago for college promising to keep in touch with Yunho. It started strong, texting everyday and calls every couple of weeks, it eventually got harder for Mingi to reply—as he made new friends and when his assignments got to be too much. They texted sporadically after that, slowly fizzling out until there was no contact left between them.
Mingi thinks of Yunho often, misses his best friend more than words can say. It's been so long since they've talked at this point, and Mingi's changed so much. In the years since he lost contact with Yunho he had gotten some tattoos, a few piercings, and came out as gay to his friends and mother. He's working at a small music production studio now, with his old college roommate Hongjoong. They aren't making music yet, still too fresh out of school, but they're hoping soon they'll be able to make music that people will be proud of.
Mingi isn't sure Yunho would even be able to recognize him now, with his short pink hair and more alternative style. He's finally becoming the person his sixteen year old self thought he would be at twenty-four. Would Yunho like who he became? He really hopes so, since he's going home for the first time since he left—having enough money for the cross country plane ride for the first time. When he called his mom to tell her he was coming home for her birthday she was so excited, and it made him feel just as much excitement as her.
Now, in Hongjoong's car on the way to the airport, his anxiety is through the roof. Thinking about going back to his small town terrifies him, especially with how different he is now. The town has a population of maybe four thousand, and looks down on people who stray away from the norm. He's fiddling with his ring clad fingers and bouncing his leg when Hongjoong speaks.
"Min, stop bouncing your leg you're shaking the whole damn car!" He chides with a slap to his knee.
"Sorry dude, I'm just more anxious than I thought I'd be." Mingi says sheepishly.
"Do you need an edible? Because you know I've got some." The older says with a smirk.
"Nah, I don't want to show up high when I see my mom for the first time in five years." Mingi groans.
"What are you so anxious about anyway?" Hongjoong asks.
"Well I don't look like I did when I left, and people back home aren't exactly nice to people like me." Mingi says quietly.
"Fuck that, dude! You're hot and cool and living your dream! Who cares what some boomers have to say about you?" Hongjoong says enthusiastically, trying to hype Mingi up with compliments.
Mingi gives a shy smile and nods in agreement. "Yeah, I am living my dream, huh?"
"You are! So try not to think about what those losers back home think about you, okay?" The older asks.
"I'll try, Joong." Mingi concedes.
Mingi looks out the window, humming to whatever pop song is playing from Hongjoong's playlist and tries to calm his anxiety.
Soon enough they pull into the drop off area of the airport, Hongjoong giving Mingi a pat on the back and making him promise to text when he lands. Mingi agrees and moves to take his bag out of the backseat.
"I'll see you in a week! Try not to burn your apartment down trying to use the microwave!" Mingi calls over his shoulder as he walks away. He just barely catches the middle finger Hongjoong throws him as he's driving away.
☾
Mingi sleeps for most of the flight, his talent for sleeping anywhere working in his favor. He wakes up with the announcement that they'll be preparing for landing soon, his anxiety coming back with a vengeance. The idea of seeing his mother is the only thing keeping him from having a breakdown in his seat.
Thirty minutes later he's grabbing his bag from the overhead bin and making his way off the plane. His mom texted him saying she would be a little behind because there was traffic on the highway, and she had to drive over an hour to make it to the airport. He texts Hongjoong quickly to let him know he made it in safely, and walks outside to wait at the pick up area.
Mingi beelines for the closest smoking area, desperate for something to calm his nerves. He lights his cigarette, bringing it to his lips with a deep inhale—letting it steady his racing heart. Blowing out the smoke he slowly feels some of his anxiety ebb away, he taps away the ash with shaky fingers. Why did he think this was a good idea again? Mingi runs his hand through his hair and takes another drag from his cigarette. This was going to be a long week.
☾
Mingi's mom shows up about fifteen minutes later, barely stopping the car before jumping out to pull him into a fierce hug.
"Oh I missed you so much, my love." She says, holding him tight.
"I missed you too, mom." Mingi says, tightening his grip. "Now, come on let's get in the car it's cold out here!"
"Don't tell me the west coast has ruined your ability to deal with the cold!" His mother chides.
"It hasn't! I just forgot to pull out my bigger jacket!" Mingi whines.
"Well come on, let's get out of here." She says while opening the trunk for Mingi to put his bag into.
"Your hair is…very bright." She points out as they're getting settled into the car.
"Yeah, it's a lot brighter than I planned on! Hongjoong used way too much of the hot pink." Mingi says with a fond smile.
"How are you two doing by the way? After everything?" She asks.
He and Hongjoong had a short relationship in college. It started out as just friends wanting a quick fuck and they spent so much time with each other as roommates (and classmates) it just seemed logical to try and date. They soon realized just because they were compatible sexually did not mean they were compatible romantically, and they were okay with that.
"We're good, honestly it feels like nothing ever happened. We went back to bickering almost immediately." Mingi says with a chuckle.
"That's good, love. Is work going okay?" She probes.
"It's going good! We still aren't allowed to pitch our own songs yet but we've been helping a lot with recording, which has been really fun." Mingi explains.
Mingi and Hongjoong both got hired on at Illusion Records after they graduated, originally as assistants to the sound engineers and then slowly trusted to help with the recording process. Mingi is just excited to be using his degree, even if he's not listening to artists record songs he's written.
"That's good! I'm so proud of you." His mom says with a big smile on her face.
"Thanks mom. I'm proud of me too." Mingi says, beaming right back at her.
They spend the rest of the drive mostly in silence, an oldies station playing softly on the radio in the background. Mingi taking in the familiar yet somehow unfamiliar surroundings flashing by the car windows. Nothing has changed here, but he has. As much as he wants to listen to what Hongjoong told him before he left, he can't. It's hard to imagine most people in town welcoming him back with open arms. He hopes his old friends will, but he's still scared. He wonders if Yeosang still works at the convience store on the corner by his mom's house, if Jongho graduated from the community college a couple towns over. He wishes he would've stayed in touch, hating himself for ditching everyone the second he left town.
When they pull into the gravel driveway to his mother's house he feels his heart swell, he missed this house so much. Missed the smell of pancakes on Sundays, the sound of true crime on the tv at all hours, the feeling of guitar strings under his fingers. He looks at the porch, remembers the weekends where he and Yunho would spend hours reading comics on the hanging swing, swapping as soon as they were done. Looks into the living room window, thinking back on all the times they fought over who would be player one on the old Playstation.
Mingi knows leaving was the best decision for him, knows he needed to, to make his dreams come true. But right now, his heart breaks thinking about what could've been if he had stayed. He grabs his bag from the trunk and walks slowly to the front door, and steps inside—it surprises him to just walk in, not used to leaving the door unlocked anymore. It smells exactly how he remembered, gardenias filling his nose, his mother's favorite flower and scent. Suddenly, he feels like crying, overwhelmed with the emotions of being home and the lingering anxiety of being here.
He goes to his old room to set his bag down seemingly on autopilot, down the hall second door on the left, he steps inside and is instantly taken back to age seventeen. He notices that his mom never took down his posters, Fall Out Boy staring at him as he sets his bag on the bed. Something about it being the same as it was when he left is strangely comforting and heartbreaking at the same time. He quickly changes out of his airplane sweats into new lounge clothes, ready to get the airport feeling off of him, and walks to the kitchen to grab a drink. His mom is standing by the stove, looks to be heating up some leftover soup.
"Are you hungry, Min?" She inquires.
He moves to the fridge to get the water pitcher out, pours some into a glass. "No, I honestly just want to go to bed, the travel day took a lot out of me." He says as he gulps his water down.
She nods in acknowledgement.
Mingi smiles and reaches to pull her into a side hug, "I really did miss you. I'm sorry I couldn't visit sooner." He says sorrowfully.
"I missed you too. I know you would've come back sooner if you could. Don't beat yourself up about it." she says while patting his back. "Go get some rest."
He squeezes once and lets go to grab some more water before heading to bed.
When he's under the safety of his blankets he pulls out his phone, checking his messages, there's only one from Hongjoong saying he's glad Mingi's plane didn't crash. Mingi chuckles as he sends a middle finger emoji back. His fingers hover over the new message icon, wondering if he should text Yunho. He doesn't even know what he would say, "hey what's up? i know we haven't talked in almost five years but i'm in town" definitely wouldn't work. He locks his phone with a sigh, plugging it in to charge and rolls over to go to sleep.