Chapter Text
Standing to the side of a pond outside. A wind blowing the petals off of newly grown flowers. Some of the petals floated until they landed on the surface of the water. It caught Binghe's attention that they didn't disturb the water's surface at all. Turning his head to face the waterfront on, Binghe took a look at his reflection. Seen through the water, was a version of Binghe. White hair catching the moonlight hanging above them both.
As Binghe turned his gaze up at the moon overhead. He realized that he couldn't quite recall coming outside. The feel of all his robes slipping off his weary shoulders. An isolating silence covering every inch of his bedroom. A flickering candle illuminating just enough for him to walk from the door to the bed. Not troubling himself with any other worries. Collapsing and instantly falling into a deep, oppressively deep sleep.
Body worn down and reduced to a hollow husk of himself. Binghe had been dragging his end out for weeks, months and truthfully years. In his bones, he felt like his end was intended far in the past but yet despite his destiny, he persisted. At one time, just the idea of fighting against destiny and forging his own path ahead. It might have filled him with pride. He's become so weary as of late though, that it fills him with dread instead.
Turning back to face the image of himself in the water once again, the image still and peaceful even as a light rain started to fall. It was clear that this was something that Binghe had to face. He wasn't sure if it was hesitation that gave him pause or another feeling. Though he felt that no matter how he felt inside. This was not something he could simply overcome and force his way through. That thought almost filled him with a sense of peace.
"Has this one died?"
"En." Only a moment followed before Binghe caught onto the fact that the watery version of himself was sizing him up. "In a sense."
It hadn't meant that Binghe's body had died yet. His soul, however, was in turmoil. What Binghe had fought off for decades despite his madness. Qi deviation. At the very end, it would be nobody but himself who could bring about his destruction. Perhaps there had been times that Binghe sensed it. The feeling bubbling beneath his skin, hot like magma and persistently flowing forth like lava. It was burning him up inside without stopping.
"Your not that other one."
"No."
Before Binghe could say anything more to that, the voice continued to speak to him, "However, I have come because of him."
A part of Binghe wished he could feel the cold droplets of rain as they fell. For a very long time now, his senses had become so dull. Thinking back, Binghe cannot even recall the last time he felt the sun beaming down on his skin. Nor the cold chill of icy rain hitting him, causing him to rush for a suitable cover. Even the warm heat of a meal or the cool feel of a treat, sitting on his tongue. Everything had become a shadow of a distantly felt sensation.
Instead of speaking to Binghe directly, this version seemed to speak more broadly and generally, as if telling a story, "Though I tried very hard, and for a very long time. A single version of events appeared that gave me the result I wanted. I sat by and waited for it to all come together and I was finally able to feel satisfaction. Seeing your interference however, reminded me of something."
"One instance," As Binghe listened, he could hear the tone in the reflections voice that sounded weightier than his own, "One chance, was never able to blossom. Left as a bud, prevented from flowering. It is in that singular opportunity, that I believe you could make work."
"This one is listening."
Any confusion Binghe felt at these words was pushed down. Stomaching his unease to save face in front of something that felt incomparably old. Like a specter that has lived through the ages and will continue to do so for eternity. A constant that Binghe could never hope to understand. So, with all his experience pushing things down and schooling his expression. Binghe kept his back straight and spoke tot he entity.
"Built upon simple scraps of an idea, they were pushed to the side when met with resistance. When given a chance, however, it might just bear fruit."
Now, it felt like the Binghe in the water was actually looking at Binghe. No longer just speaking as if weaving a complicated tale of experiences and lifetimes. It felt as if he finally saw Binghe. Saw his purpose, his fate and his chances. In what he saw, this version of Binghe felt a renewed interest. He had gotten what he wanted and perhaps that had made him greedy. If he could make it happen again, would that not just have been his fate.
"You have two choices," In the state this mirrored version of Binghe was in, he could not quite feel or express emotions, yet there seemed to be a tremor to his voice as he spoke, "I'll walk you through them later. For the moment. All I need to know is, do you wish to have your own chance to change things?"
While Binghe was none the wiser about the fact that Shen Yuan had transmigrated in and changed Luo Binghe's story. Still, there was no missing the sheer difference in both of their lives. That Binghe had felt joy and love that he, himself, had never gotten a chance to experience. If, whoever this shimmering version of himself happened to be, was giving him his own chance. How could he even think to hesitate for even a moment.
Living each and every day for the sake of it. Continuing to live because he was just simply still alive. Nothing had taken him out yet, he had left himself with no equal and no one for quite some time had been willing to better themselves to face him. In the world he existed in, this monotonous and continual circle of days into weeks, to months and years. A hand was being extended towards him, and he intended on taking it.
Even though Binghe huffed out a laugh, there was no clear humour in his words as he said, "How could this one refuse?"
Wind blew by, carrying the rain with it and swirling around Binghe. His vision was blurred for a moment. As he opened his eyes up, not knowing when he had closed them so tightly. Binghe could see the sun as it began rising on the horizon. Though still not particularly light out, it stunned him for a moment. Watching the sun as it rose, Binghe couldn't even begin to think of the last time he spared a small moment to just watch.
Dragging his eyes away from the colours as they brightened the sky at the horizon. Binghe saw that they were standing in the trees. A short distance away, an extensive and relatively impressive manor stood. It was nothing compared to what Binghe had created for himself in the end. Yet, for the regular standards for cultivators. It was undeniably impressive and meant the one who lived there, had great financial means.
Binghe startled as a servant walking a grey horse, approached the surrounding area. In their current position, they would be easily spotted. No doubt causing the servant to alert others. Whether or not they wanted to act, the servant would undoubtedly be very surprised to see two people hidden in the trees. With that thought in mind, Binghe realized with a start. Looking properly to his side, he noticed his reflection had taken on a proper form.
Hair longer than Binghe's own, with waves and curls. Thick but pure white, as if it had been infected by the cold. A snowy chill seemed to emanate from his body. Eyes a curious colour, something of a light red that seemed to easily catch the light of the rising sun. He didn't appear much older than himself. However, there was just something about the way he held himself. It made their differences seem more noticeable.
As the servant boy approached, the other Binghe opened his mouth to provide, "He won't see us."
It wasn't said with any regard to the hiding abilities they had. To the servant boy, they truly could not be seen. For the moment, it was necessary for them to exist between being real and being fragments. Not quite physical, not just yet. Though the pair of them both still existed. Like a suspended moment, held still while things moved on around them. Binghe watched on as the servant boy passed them, holding his breath.
"What are the choices?"
The morning was still here, wherever they happened to be. All the leaves on the trees were stationary. Voices could be heard as they came from the manor grounds. Young servants continued to go about with their practised routines. Sleep still clinging to them as they relied on their instincts. They continued on as normal. Even as the two voyeuristic companions lingered by those trees. As still as the leaves, clinging to their branches.
"By this point in the story, you have already been born. The parts of your childhood that cause pain, many have already happened long ago. You do not have the choice to avoid any of that."
Gritting his teeth, Binghe almost wanted to yell out in despair. What good was having a second chance. A chance to do things in a different way. If he could not take away the pain and suffering, he had endured. He couldn't comprehend how it could turn out any different. As Binghe suffers, Binghe would want others to suffer too. Opening and closing his mouth. Binghe tried to find the words to say, but his throat felt too raw.
Noticing this, the mirrored Binghe made no move to comfort him but carefully supplied, "This moment exists as a prelude of sorts. In order to change the fate of this timeline, it all comes down to one person."
"Shen Qingqiu."
"Of course. I thought you might catch on."
"So? What is it?" Binghe's tone sounded strained, "I kill him while he's still young and defenseless so I can avoid any more pain?"
"I can't kill him before he does anything."
Those words were bitten and spat out. As if they churned Binghe's stomach and hurt his throat. Frustration gnawed at him. He was agonized by the prospect of this being his second chance. Binghe had taken care of the man who murdered him. Who he was before Binghe first met him, what had that got to do with him. Perhaps if this mirrored Binghe had found him when he gleefully ripped enemies apart and drenched himself in the pleasure of it all.
But he had long since been disconnected from that part of himself. He had gone and experienced what it was like to have been taken care of. Had found that someone out there could love him. That love had, in as swift as it had come, been taken away from him. Binghe had already lost so much only for that to reaffirm his fate. For him to be doomed to have nothing. As long as he lived, Binghe could only be taken from.
Ignoring Binghe as if, between this story and Binghe's woes, he had only interest in one of them. Binghe knew his very own difficulties. When he had set everything in motion, he was aware that many instances failed due to his own actions. Self-pity was unbecoming. Dragging Binghe up from the depths of his building despair, it was up to Bingzu to guide yet another version of himself. Setting up for a new, unexplored future.
"Your two choices are as follows; you can approach Shen Qingqiu, as he was when he was Shen Jiu. Alter his life so he does not face the future in such anguish, and in turn he does not take those feelings out on you."
Seeing the mirrored Binghe lingering on this option, Binghe verbally nudged him by saying, "If not that, what else can be done?"
"Take the opportunity for yourself."
Confused, Binghe went to ask but Bingzu was already prepared to explain, "It might not be easy to do. Yet, in the grand scheme of things, it is incredibly easy to help Shen Jiu before things go too far. He is not born the way he became, that was built up within him throughout the years. If you step in, a version of yourself will grow up without a Shizun whose hand harms more than helps."
"For this future Binghe, his future could be bright. So long as things continue to do nothing but improve."
"I help my Shizun and he helps me, at least a version of me, when I finally get taken in by the sect in the future?"
"Correct." Bingzu's hands were behind his back as he stood tall, back straight and voice unwavering, "Though I would do well to emphasize that it would be a version of yourself. Which is why I pose the second choice. Disregard him. Cast him aside in your mind. Take this opportunity for yourself."
"You think that if I help this version of Shen Qingqiu here, that I would want to stick by him? At this point, he has done nothing to me, but he's also done nothing for me. What would I get out of this?"
Binghe is no idealist, and his heart is not so big that his worries often extend past himself. However, if he could hand over a future for a version of himself that was not so dull and dim. One that actually had a light at the end of the tunnel. Binghe stood and entertained the thought. It was his chance to right wrongs and create a new future that was better. Yet, that version of himself posed the second option as if it were its equal.
"This Shen Qingqiu, would not be the same as that Shen Qingqiu I met, would he?"
"Completely different."
Shaking his head as if to forcibly dispel his confusion, frustrated at his inability to keep up, he couldn't help but ask, "Then why do you suppose that my own bright future connects with him?"
"I have not foreseen it," Though Bingzu's tone didn't change, it sounded softer as he said, "I cannot guarantee it will be better. I believe in this opportunity though. As I had believed before, I believe now."
"You have to make the most of it. Put in the work, see what you get out of it. You know, people don't just get second chances, and we have had so many. Use it or discard it, I have approached you and now await your answer."
Feeling startled, Binghe felt uncharacteristically ill-prepared and he asked, "That's all I'm getting? How am I meant to choose based on all of this?"
Bingzu had lived for an awfully long time. In that time, he had experienced until pain and suffering. Both his own, and in the feelings, he shared with all the versions of himself that he forced to endure it over and over again. Waiting and watching for the moment things went right. Bingzu now intended to push Binghe into this, so that he could watch and wait once again. He wanted to know, to see the choices he would make.
"In the past, the deciding factor was Shen Qingqiu. This time will be different. What will you do?"