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“Come with me?” Esther asked his little brother, putting on his boots.
“Where to?” Ivory asked, already getting ready to join him, grabbing his trainers and rushing to put them on; he loves hanging out with his older brother.
“Our favorite place, the train tracks.”
Ivory paused his movements, “Mom said not to go there anymore..”
Esther shrugged, smiling towards Ivory, “What she doesn't know doesn't hurt anyone, come on, it'll be fun!” Ivory nodded.
He took Esther's hand when they were both ready. It was getting dark as they headed out, but Esther knew the way with his eyes closed, Ivory knew this, he felt safe. They spoke the whole way, mostly Ivory going on about school or some cool bugs he learnt about or how he was learning the taxidermy process. Esther made comments every so often, mostly asking questions so he could hear his brother talk some more, he seemed so happy in moments like this, Esther didn’t want to waste a second of it.
They reached their destination and Esther helped Ivory over the fence before climbing over himself. They were soon walking hand in hand along the railway. Esther lit a cigarette as Ivory continued to talk about stuff, they laughed together over some memories before they fell into silence. The two walked in silence, feeling a little cold except for the warmth their hands shared.
The end of the cigarette was discarded and the two started walking closer together. Cold night air welcomed them forwards on their journey. Esther soon noted the train a while ahead of them and spoke up again. “Ever touched a moving train?” Esther asked, Ivory shook his head no. “Want to?”
Ivory hesitated, “Okay..”
They stepped to the side as the train neared, at the passing of the first car, Ivory jumped. Esther laughed slightly and stood back a little further, holding onto Ivory's hand, keeping him safe. “Go ahead!!” He yelled over the sound of the train.
Ivory stepped a little closer, hand reaching out for the train, his fingers grazed it lightly and he grinned. It didn’t last too long as the end of the train approached, making him nearly stumble forward if it weren't for Esther holding him in place, but time slowed around him slightly. “That was so cool!”
Esther smiled back, “Right! You should be underneath it next time..”
“What?! You haven't…”
Esther let a little time pass, “No, dummy, that's so stupid!” They both laughed.
Esther pulled Ivory over to a nearby ledge, sitting down and pulling out another cigarette. He lit it and inhaled, Ivory watched him before sitting next to him. He lent his head against his big brother’s shoulder.
“Ever smoked?” Esther asked, looking out at the scenery in front of them, Ivory looked up at him.
“No..”
“Wanna try?”
Ivory nodded, looking up to Esther, he moved the cigarette to Ivory's lips. “Just sorta..suck in and inhale it, then breathe out.” He instructed.
Ivory put his lips to the tip and experimentally sucked in as instructed, inhaling, half expecting to cough, but instead exhaling with no trouble. Esther allowed him another drag of the cigarette, allowing him to get used to it a little. Then another, and Ivory had the hang of it. Esther handed him the rest of the cigarette, letting him now do it on his own and lighting another for himself, Ivory copied his brother’s actions, holding the cigarette the same way, trying to mimic to get it right.
After a moment, Esther moved away from him a little. “You wanna try something?”
“Something else?” Ivory asked, a little tilt to his head.
“Yeah, with the cigarettes..”
“Okay!” Ivory smiled, looking to his brother for instruction.
Esther inhaled some smoke from his cigarette, leaning down to his brother, one hand coming to his chin, “inhale,” was all he said before their lips connected and Esther breathed the smoke into Ivory’s mouth. Ivory’s cigarette fell from his fingers on instinct, but he did as he was told, breathing in the smoke, exhaling again as Esther moved away. “Okay?” Esther asked, Ivory nodding in response.
“Mhm.. my head feels all buzzy though?” He said, a slight question to his tone.
Esther laughed slightly, “Yeah, nicotine will do that to you at first, wanna get going back?” Ivory ‘ohh’ed in understanding before sighing.
“I guess we gotta go back..”
They both stood, walking back along the tracks home, sharing Esther’s cigarette.
When they arrived home, the two went into Esther’s room, laughing about some other memory Esther brought up after Ivory mentioned last summer. Ivory sat patiently on his brother’s bed after taking off his shoes, crossing his legs and watching him. Esther decided to get changed, it was late and his clothes started to get uncomfy.
“Where'd you get that from?” Ivory asked, looking at his brother's chest.
“My binder?” Ivory nodded. “Some online store, why?” Esther asked, Ivory shrugging this time.
“I like it!” Ivory complimented, Esther smiled, “You look so cool..”
“Thank you, Ivy, you always look cool.” He ruffled his brother’s hair before grabbing a hoodie from his bed. “Here, change into this, you can stay here for a bit.”
“Really?” Ivory took the hoodie, already pulling off his shirt.
Esther just laughs at his little brother’s antics, taking his turn of sitting on the bed.
Eventually the two end up surrounded by each other’s warmth, sharing some headphones, listening to Esther’s music. Ivory falls asleep first, Esther playing with his hair, keeping his brother safe and comfortable. That night Esther prays for the both of them whilst looking at Ivory’s sleeping face, he tells God to protect his brother, to take care of him if Esther one day can’t himself. He whispers goodnight to his brother, then he falls asleep too.