Work Text:
Another sound of the music abruptly stopping left Natsume glancing over with a glint in his eyes. Sora was picking himself up off the floor and dusting off his practice uniform with an annoyed huff. “Not giving up that easily, are you?” Natsume teased, already knowing the answer. The other boy looked back with a tilted smile. He giggled, pressing his hands together behind his back. “Of course not! Sora’s just struggling on the footwork.” He kicked his foot against the wall for good measure as Tsumugi spoke up in response, stealing Sora’s attention away. With an annoyed glance in Tsumugi’s direction, Natsume made his way to the back of the room to take a sip of water.
From there, he observed Tsumugi working with Sora on the specific part he was messing up on. His eyes remained on the hand that lingered on Sora’s lower back as Tsumugi helped him position himself. He wasn’t sure what type of feeling ran through his body at that moment but he shook it off either way, he wasn’t going to let it interfere with practice. He placed his bottle back down and approached the two. “He’ll get it eventually, no need to coddle him.” Venom laced his words directed toward Tsumugi. The other simply nodded with a smile. “Yeah, of course! I was just trying to assist on position since it can be a little difficult.”
“It’s okay! Senpai helped Sora understand the footwork a bit more. Sora won’t mess up anymore!” His head was tilted up a bit to meet Natsume’s eyes, settling his nerves. “Hm? Is that so? Well then, I guess that means that if you mess up again I might just have to place a spell on you~” His teasing remark left with a tilt to his lips. In response, another giggle passed Sora’s own, filling the air with another wonderful sound. “Sora can think of worse fates~” His voice lowered slightly, keeping eye contact for a few seconds before returning his gaze back to the mirror in front of him once Tsumugi hit play on the music.
For the first time, Natsume was rendered speechless.
He wasn’t exactly sure what feeling it was that filled his chest from that one comment alone. It felt crushing, almost like a constricting feeling in his heart just from the sound of his voice to the sound of his laugh. He had always held Sora at a higher point in his heart but this felt different. More…personal.
He pulled himself from his head after deducting it to feeling lightheaded. He didn’t let it bother him as he started his part of the choreography. Even if the feeling lingered throughout practice, Natsume didn’t say anything about it and let it be.
-
The lights dimmed as Natsume pressed his back against the wall, a towel dabbing at his neck to dry the sweat. He listened to the roar of the crowd muffle as the door closed, his chest heaving. Glitter and confetti stuck to his clothes, twinkling like stars as he wiped them to the floor. He couldn’t help but smile in satisfaction as his eyes closed. He could almost see it again. The smiles and happiness of the crowd. The chants for an encore, the screaming of their names and the color green shining from their glowsticks like the sun. It was enthralling and absolutely beautiful.
The sound of the door opening and closing shut again snapped him from his thoughts. He opened his eyes a bit to see who entered the room, only to be pleased by the sight of Sora himself. He was followed in by Tsumugi who assisted him at taking the mic from his head and then clapping his hands together. “Amazing work tonight! Ah, I believe that was a wonderful performance.” He pushed hair from his face and turned to place things on the counter as Sora beamed with sparkles in his eyes. “Yes! Everyone was sparkling and so happy! Sora felt it, there were colors bursting everywhere!”
His voice was filled with genuine happiness, causing a smile to tug at Natsume’s lips. His eyes remained fixed on his unit mate as he went on, gushing about the show as he usually did after them. This time, Natsume was distracted. He couldn’t seem to look away, absolutely captivated by his smile and joy. Sora had stepped closer unconsciously, still conversing with Tsumugi about the live. He was close enough that Natsume could see the faint shimmer of sweat on his temple and the way his eyes brightened when he smiled. That unfamiliar feeling tugged at his chest again. This time it was more present and hard to ignore. His eyebrows furrowed as he racked his brain, trying to decipher the feeling.
It wasn’t pride nor was it satisfaction. It wasn’t even the thrill of a successful performance. It felt…warmer.
Suddenly Sora was right in front of him, wrapping him in a hug that startled him from his thoughts. “Sora’s so happy, shisho! Did you see the way everyone was smiling at the end? Everyone was so happy, their colors were so bright!”
Natsume froze at the sentence, unable to form any sort of response as he suddenly realized something.
His pulse, which was usually steady and under control, was racing like he had just stepped back on stage. But there were no lights on him now. No audience or script. Only Sora. And the realization struck him with startling clarity.
He hadn’t been looking at the crowd during the last chorus. He wasn’t calculating the timing of the lights or when and where to step.
He had been watching Sora.
Watching the way he moved with pure joy. The way his voice carried genuine happiness in every note like he was actually casting a spell. Watching the way he shined–and not because he had to, but because he was simply that bright.
He glanced down at Sora who was now looking up at him with a tilted smile, a little concerned. “Shisho? Are you alright?” Sora began to pull back from the hug, unintentionally tugging at Natsume’s heartstrings once again. This time, he finally understood what it meant. He placed his hands on his back, pulling him back in. “Yeah.” He managed, “I’m alright.”
His lips formed a soft smile, watching the way Sora’s expression seemed to relax and form a smile again. Natsume moved his hands from his shoulders and to the collar on his shirt and Sora stepped back a bit to give him room to adjust his clothing. Natsume missed when his arms fell from around him as his thoughts had caught up with him.
For someone who prided himself on understanding emotions, manipulating the atmosphere with magic and illusions, this feeling had slipped him entirely. He had always felt it. It was buried deep and took a while to realize, but it was always there.
It was the way he felt when Sora searched for him first when in a crowded room. The way his problems seemed so little the moment Sora laughed. The way his entire life felt complete upon meeting him all those years ago. It was never not there, it was simply hidden until his heart realized it.
Natsume exhaled slowly, softness settling into his expression.
“...I seem to have fallen under my own spell.” He muttered, mostly to himself.
This didn’t stop the curious hum that left Sora’s throat. “Shisho?” He replied, eyes wide and concerned. Natsume adjusted his collar one last time as a breathy laugh came from his lips, his fingers lingering just a moment too long. “Nothing. You did great out there, Sora~ You lit up the whole stage as always. Even mop head over there sang better than usual.” He tone easily fell back into its normal teasing manner. Sora’s eyes brightened again and Tsumugi let out a light laugh from the other side of the room. “Sora thinks Shisho did amazing too! You and Senpai always make Sora sing better!”
He allowed his hands to fall the moment Sora grabbed his wrist to pull him to the other side of the room where Tsumugi was already changing his shirt. He let himself be pulled, still smiling softly as Sora’s smile lit up the whole room and his life all at the same time.
He didn’t know how he didn’t understand the feeling sooner. The answer was right in front of him the entire time.
He was in love.
-
Natsume always thought after realizing you were in love, everything would go back to normal. He wouldn’t feel too nervous or pressured, just casually living life with the knowledge of his feelings. Instead, realizing his feelings only seemed to make him hyper aware of seemingly everything. The warmth of his hands, the sound of his voice, it all seemed to crowd his mind and never leave. A simple few minutes of hand holding would send Natsume into a frenzy of sweating and short circuiting.
Weeks later, Natsume felt more anxious than ever. It made him confused, knowing how calm he usually is but now he feels like some school girl who just had her first crush. In a way, he kind of was. So being proposed with the idea, a hand outstretched in front of him open and inviting, Natsume couldn’t refuse. Sora’s bright smile and questioning tilt to his head caused Natsume to swoon, almost unable to take his eyes from him but tore his eyes away anyway.
So Natsume took his hand in his, which was a normal thing for them to do but this time, Natsume couldn’t help but feel nervous. He swallowed hard yet managed a smile as the two walked side by side. Sora was humming to a song, swinging their arms between them as usual, completely unaware of the mental battle that was going on in Natsume’s head.
Sora’s hands were warm, holding onto his own tightly like he never wanted to let go. Or maybe it was Natsume holding on so tightly. He couldn’t tell, his hands were sweaty and he had to convince himself not to stare. So he stayed silent, occasionally replying with a hum or one worded answers. He was terrified he would let his feelings slip, even if they were subtle. He still kept him close as he always did. Sora got overwhelmed in crowds and his safety never left his mind even if he was struggling to breathe properly.
The walk to the New DI office was short but felt torturous to Natsume. Eyes fixed in front of him, Natsume tried his hardest to think straight but constantly drifted to the boy at his side. Pure and impure, Natsume felt horrible and most importantly embarrassed. He cringed, already feeling his face heat up from holding his hand to the thoughts that jumped around his head. When he covered the bottom half of his face to try and shake the thoughts away, Sora glanced over in concern. “Shisho? Are you okay?” His voice, low and caring, sounded through the air.
Natsume nodded, even if he was slightly lying. “Mhm. How are you feeling? This is a bigger crowd than usual today.” He hoped his voice didn’t betray him as his heart calmed down. Sora hummed, a smile tugging at his lips. “Sora’s okay! He has you after all~” He leaned closer into his space, bumping his shoulder with his own.
Well, there goes his heart racing again.
Natsume sucked in a breath and managed a smile even if his heart was failing him. His smile was radiating, like the sun on a hot summer day. Natsume would always gladly bask it in. He deserved to smile like that for the rest of his life. Even if a small pang of hurt tugged at his heart at the thought of Sora with another person in the future, he didn’t say anything. He simply squeezed his hand and held the door open for him.
On the way up to their office, Natsume allowed his hand to linger in his grasp before letting go to step inside. Sora walked in with a grin, greeting Tsumugi with a blinding radiance. Natsume walked in behind Sora, watching Tsumugi without a greeting aside from a nod. His mind was muffled, barely paying attention even as Tsumugi laid out papers and ideas for their next live. Natsume was quiet, barely participating or listening as his mind wandered back to the thoughts of Sora with another person. He felt another pain in his chest.
The meeting was over within an hour with little to no ideas strewn across. Natsume, barely even paying attention, hadn’t even realized the meeting was over until he heard his name getting called by Tsumugi out of everyone. He and Sora walked out of the building to the beautiful sight of the sun setting behind the buildings and mountains in the distance. Pausing in his steps, Natsume admired the sight. Sora stopped at his side, eyes following his and smiling. “It’s pretty.” Sora whispered. Natsume agreed. He really did, but couldn’t find himself to say anything.
It felt cheesy, almost too perfect of timing for the thoughts to surface. Suddenly, Natsume was nervous again. Not because of the sight of his smile or how he looked this time. No, this time it was because he was actually considering saying something. That short lasting fear of Sora eventually leaving for a different person suddenly felt distant. Maybe it was the sight that gave him the newfound confidence.
Who was he kidding? It was jealousy. The thought itself left a bitter taste in his mouth. He knew if what he wanted were to become a reality, he had to say something. Even if it wasn’t a full fledged confession, just something to place in his head that his feelings went beyond friendship. He wanted to do it, he really did, but he was scared.
What if Sora didn’t feel the same way? What if he thought it was weird? Or worse, just left?
Then again, what if he felt the same way? Wanted the same thing? He could already picture the two of them happy, side by side, watching a sunset just like this, going out and doing what they loved together as something more than friends. It felt wonderful. His thoughts wandered for a few seconds before they grew to something a little more intimate. Suddenly his face was heating up again and he had to force those thoughts back down again, letting his heart race because of the confession instead. So, he was going to do it. He would say something, anything, he didn’t care.
…Then he didn’t.
He knew he looked crazy, staring at the sunset like it was the most beautiful thing on the planet. How it made him grow to the conclusion of confessing? Well, that was a distant thought now.
He took a breath, letting his eyes fall to the ground as his thoughts and heart raced. He heard a curious hum leave Sora, one of confusion, but Natsume didn’t answer. He swallowed the lump in his throat and gathered all the courage he could. “Sora.” His voice was gentle, barely audible. He didn’t look over or meet his eyes and gave a few seconds to think. So many things he could say. He could make a cheesy speech or go with something more subtle. No. He deserved the truth. “I…I love you.” His tone lowered to that short of a whisper and hoped it was enough. Even if he didn’t understand, at least he said something. Even if only he meant something more and Sora meant nothing more than friendship.
Sora was staring. Eyes traveling his body with his mouth partly open after the words left his mouth. It was something Natsume constantly told him. His love for him would always be announced. Whether it was followed by a hug, a praise, or even a smile. He never went without telling Sora that he loved him, so he shouldn’t have frozen. But he did. Because it was different. His tone was softer and gentle, like he was confessing something he wouldn’t dare tell another soul.
Then there was his color. His usual color yet it felt more nervous around the edges with a hint of a sparkly hue. It was a color Sora rarely saw. That hue came with those that were around life long partners, lovers, and even some idols around campus. He wasn’t sure what the color could be called but he knew it meant something special. A little more personal. It didn’t take him more than a few seconds for him to assign a feeling to the color. He didn’t name it but he had a pretty good idea as to what it could mean.
Sora felt himself beginning to smile. His chest felt warm and his heart felt full, as if he had just found the thing he had been searching for since he joined Switch. In a way, he did. So he took a breath and responded with a soft yet certain tone. “Sora loves you too.” Just as quiet and just as special.
Natsume stilled, allowing the words to soak in until they settled in his heart. He didn’t have to say it with any specific tone, Natsume already understood. Suddenly, the nervousness felt unnecessary. He turned his head, finally meeting his eyes. Sora’s eyes were bright and inviting and Natsume had to stop himself from embarrassing himself by gushing to him. Instead, he gave him a gentle smile. Words didn’t need to fill in the rest, the feelings went unsaid.
Natsume reached out, outstretching his hand in invitation. Sora didn’t need to think twice before accepting, taking his hand with a giggle and stepping forward to begin to pull him along. Natsume watched him lovingly, enjoying the sight and thinking of what the future could potentially hold for the two of them. He wouldn’t mind going through life if it meant Sora was by his side. It almost felt like fate.
Natsume couldn’t even begin to imagine a better future.