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Part 1: The Void
“Are you okay?”
Bucky had just landed on the wooden floor of the attic-like room when he locked eyes with Yelena. Unlike any other room, this one didn’t belong to his shameful memories. And there she is, Yelena, asking about his well being.
Is she joking?
Out there, the world being sucked into the void. People were trapped into rooms filled with personal, painful memories. For Bucky Barnes, who had spent most of his life fighting, being someone else’s weapon, entering those rooms felt like stepping into series of mockery. He visited those rooms almost every night in his sleeps. But to find Yelena, who moments before seemed to be hovering between life and death, tangled in a sheet with the very cause of the chaos, Bob Reynolds, questioning about Bucky’s well being was something astonishing.
“I have an incredible past, so… yeah… I’m fine.” He tried to smile.
“You don’t look okay.” Yelena peered, as if Bucky had given her the wrong answer.
To his surprise, Bucky felt like there is nowhere else he would rather be.
Part 2: Wheaties
“Do you like Wheaties?” Bucky nearly dropped his fork, while Yelena stared at him with her big, round green eyes, as if any answer from him would enlighten her.
“I stopped eating cereal for about 100 years ago.”
“You sound like an angry vampire,” Yelena grumbled.
Bucky frowned, “Is this about Bob’s monthly grocery list?”
It has been a month since the New Avengers officially became residents of The Watchtower. It was of course chaotic, because how can you expect peaceful transition when you force six people with complex mental health issues to live under same roof?
The Watchtower, offers a variety of first-class amenities. From high-tech meeting rooms, indoor swimming pool, gymnasium, a fully equipped pantry, even an entertainment rooms like a mini-cinema. Val also gave them a whole floor dedicated to living quarters, meaning private rooms with passwords at the entrance.
At first, Bucky choose to stay at his old apartment in Brooklyn. But there was always an emergency call on odd hours, so Bucky decided to move in due to flexibility and more energy saving. Bucky had always thought crowds made him uncomfortable, but this chaotic people he called team were surprisingly tolerable. There were time when the whole crew spent time together in the common room, but there were also some kind of wordless understanding when it comes to personal boundaries.
“No, it’s not about the shopping list.” Yelena shook her head, “It’s about our latest assignment.”
Yelena handed Bucky the computer tablet. One thing Bucky knew for sure. Having Yelena’s stubbornness by his side was one of the reasons why being on this team was so easy.
Bucky read it and then looked up at Yelena, “A photo shoot?”
Yelena nodded, “Part of the branding. My dad will be jumping with joy. But before that, I have to make sure of one thing.”
“About Wheaties?” Bucky guessed.
Yelena paused a little before give him an answer, “My mom, well… Melina, the Widow who pretended to be my mom, never let us have cereal. She would make sandwiches, scrambled eggs, sausage, grilled meat, whatever real food she could quickly make for breakfast. For her it was the most important meal of the day. Although, sometimes, when Mom wasn’t paying attention, Dad would stuff me with Fruitloops.”
Without realizing it, Bucky smiled, “Your mom sounds just like mine. She did her best to make a real breakfast for me, and my sisters. Even in the tough times.”
"So... are you close to your parents?" asked Yelena.
Bucky nodded. Nowadays memory about his family start to hurt less and less. Perhaps it was because he had accepted the fact that, they were long gone, and they didn't have to know about him being the Winter Soldier.
"Yes. We were close." Bucky said almost in a whisper.
Yelena took a deep breath. "Listen, I don't like this job. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be on the team with you guys. I mean, I don't like the kind of job Val currently choose to us. I did ask her for a more public-facing assignment, but that doesn't mean she can just order us to do photo shoots to support some propaganda."
Bucky hummed, "I understand. Believe me, I don't like that either. The way Valentina sells our image as superheroes when everyone got a superhero fatigue."
"I told Natasha once that I'm not a killer that little kids idolize. I mocked her for trying to do good things, to give hope for the future."
Bucky realize that this was the first time Yelena mentioning her sister in their conversation. There's a hint of sadness in her words that she tried to conceal with her usual playful tone, "Now look at us, posse for a cereal box. Tried to convinced society that we deserve a second chance to do good."
Yelena's eyes landed on Bucky's. Over the past month, Bucky had seen many emotions in those green eyes. Determination when she faced Valentina. Goofiness when she teased Ava and Walker. Tenderness when she was with Bob. But it was only then that Bucky saw the vulnerability that Yelena usually showed only to Alexei.
“Everyone deserves a second chance,” Bucky said sincerely. “I believe in this team.”
Bucky may have lost his family, but now he has found a new one. For the first time since Steve chose to live his own life, Bucky feels he has found a trusted friend. A person save enough to be shared his idea with. Someone he wanted to protect. "I believe in you."
Yelena blinked and stared at Bucky in disbelief. A moment later, she said casually, "Well... at least, if the kids out there really love Wheaties, our work hasn't been in vain."
Bucky nodded, "Yeah, I guess that's acceptable."
Part 3: Dance
"Can you dance?"
Bucky looked up from his wine glass to Yelena's curious green eyes. Suddenly, the noise of the gala disappeared, all that remained was Yelena's silly question. In her aquamarine satin dress, Yelena looked even more petite.
"No," Bucky replied.
Yelena furrowed her brow, "Aren't all soldiers supposed to be good dancers?"
"Aren't all Widows supposed to be good dancers? You guys got trained as professional ballet dancers, right?" Bucky asked back.
"Hey I'm not saying that I was a bad dancer. I'm asking you!" Yelena almost shout, trying to beat the loud music form the dance floor.
"Listen, we don't have many options here," Yelena continued. "Val is watching from the corner, judging. Everyone hopes the New Avengers will become more relatable heroes."
"Does that include dancing?" Bucky asked.
Yelena shrugged, "I guess so. So, we have to play a role. You don't have to be a good dancer, just... be my dance partner for once."
"Okay... play a role." Bucky responded seriously to Yelena's suggestion.
The waltz music began to play, and without warning, Yelena dragged Bucky onto the dance floor.
"Why don't you choose someone else to dance with?" Bucky asked as Yelena placed one of his hand hand on her waist and the other on her palm.
"I don't want to dance with Walker. Not a chance! Not even in my worst nightmare," Yelena grumbled. "Luckily, Ava dragged him away. I'd feel bad if I stepped on Bob's foot," Yelena muttered, her green eyes widening as she glared at Bucky.
"So you don't you feel sorry for stepping on my foot?" Bucky asked as Yelena actually stepped on his foot with her high heels.
“No.” Yelena replied briefly.
“No?” Bucky unconsciously swayed Yelena to the rhythm, without warning.
“Because you’re Bucky.” Yelena said it as if Bucky was a property that she would never give to anyone else.
“What is that suppose to mean?” Bucky asked.
"Just shut up and dance!" Yelena said impatiently.
There is a sense of spring in Yelena’s spirit that always captivated Bucky. She had a way of brighten up every situation. Somehow, Bucky's body moved to the rhythm. His hands felt so right on Yelena's waist, and swinging her felt like the most natural thing in the world.
"So, you got 'blipped'?" Yelena asked, locking her eyes into Bucky's.
“Yeah.” Bucky nodded, “did you?”
"Yeah." Yelena muttered, "Maybe that's why my head is so messed up."
"Like you can't remember how to dance?" asked Bucky, gently swaying Yelena.
Without Bucky expecting it, Yelena matched his movements perfectly.
"Yeah, maybe that too." Yelena pouted, "I dance a lot though my mission back then..."
Yelena didn't have to mention it, but Bucky knew what she implied.
"You know we could abort this mission and sneak to the back door." Bucky said.
"Nasty!" Yelena's eyes sparkled with excitement, "We should get rid of Val first, then Mel, then the media all over the building."
"I can drop a couple of smoke bomb, and you cut the electricity." Bucky suggest.
"Tempting." Yelena wink as the music changed to a more up beat, "Wait! I never hear this one."
"It's for lindy hop." Bucky said as the memories of his days before the war kick in.
"I like it!"
Yelena messed up all the traditional steps, but Bucky follow through as if he could read her movements.
"Now you have to catch me!" Yelena shouted.
"What?" Bucky almost chocked, but before he could think, Yelena jumped toward him. To Bucky’s amusement, he easily caught her.
"Don't ever throw yourself like that again!" Bucky glared.
Yelena laugh, “But it was so much fun!”
Bucky adjusted his stance, cleared his throat, and smoothed out his jacket. Behind them, the music stopped.
“You’re lying!” Yelena muttered.
"About what?" Bucky asked.
"You're a good dancer." Yelena's voice sounded amazed.
"I guess..." Bucky catch his breath, "...it must be a muscle memory."
“Or…” Yelena run her hands through her hair, grinning from ear to ear, “We spent a lot of time together, we just start to read each other’s mind.”
Part 4: UNO Cards
"Can you play UNO card?" Yelena, who was sitting alone in The Watchtower's common room, looked up as if certain that Bucky was the one walking into the room.
Bucky took a deep breath and sat down across from Yelena, “Everyone’s partying down there, and the leader of the New Avengers chooses to solitary play cards?”
“Officially, you’re the leader.” Yelena shrugged.
“Everyone knows who the real leader is.” Bucky smiled.
Yelena handed Bucky a box labeled UNO, "I'm going to beat you."
Bucky furrowed his brow, "So you know how to play this?"
Yelena shook her head, "Not really. Bob taught me how to play Pokémon cards last week, but I never understood it. Too many variables. UNO, on the other hand, is much simple but still deadly. At least that what I see from internet."
"I never knew that a card game could be deadly unless poison involved." Bucky took the cards out of the box, "What we're going to do with this?"
Yelena took the cards from Bucky's hand, "Take seven cards, then you have to match the next card with the same number or color. If you don't have any, you have to take additional card from the deck. Whoever uses up all the cards in their hand wins."
"Sounds easy," Bucky said confidently, then began shuffling the cards.
"So, have you ever played cards like this before..." Yelena looked at Bucky, "You know..."
Bucky smiled as he dealt the cards, "Steve and I played cards sometimes, but not UNO."
Yelena chuckled as she drop her first move, "They haven't invented this game yet, have they?"
Bucky looked at Yelena's chosen card, a red 4. He furrowed his brow. There neither number 4 nor red card in his deck.
"How does it feel?" Yelena asked.
"About what?" Bucky picked up card after card that could save him. Finally, he found a red card with two inverted arrows.
"Life without Captain America?" Yelena asked, "I mean Steve Rogers. Knowing that he chose to leave you..."
Bucky took a deep breath and put down the card he had just picked up.
Yelena laughed, "You're really terrible at this!"
"What?" Bucky frown.
“That!” Yelena pointed at the card Bucky had just played, "You just gave me another turn."
"Ouch?" Bucky rubbed his face.
Yelena shrugged and put a green card with the number 4 on it.
Bucky nodded, he then place a green card with the number 7 on top of Yelena’s card.
"It was hard at first, but I got used to it eventually," Bucky said softly.
"Losing at UNO card?" Yelena grinned.
Bucky shook his head, "Life without Steve."
"Oh!" Yelena exclaimed, placing a yellow card with the number 7. How could she possibly have such a good card in her deck?
"He helped me find my self again after Hydra. For a while, Steve was the only family I had in this life. When I have to go though something, sometimes I asked my self 'What would Steve do?' Then I change that thought into, what would Sergeant Barnes do?" Bucky looked up at Yelena and placed a yellow card with the number 2 on it.
"But lately," Bucky add, "I've been thinking more about what is the right decision that I should take. The decision that causes the least damage to everyone involved."
"Well... that sounds wise, Sergeant Barnes." Yelena frown, pouting before drawing another card.
"I do that sometimes too, you know?" Yelena placed a card with picture of four cards and a '+4' in the corner on the table.
"The longer I'm away from the Red Room, the clearer my childhood memories become. Most of them are about Natasha. The fact that I was following her footsteps now, that doesn't made it easier. Sometimes when I'm not sure about a decision I have to make, I try to think about what Natasha would do."
"You know you don't have to follow Nat's way of thinking," said Bucky. "You are your own person. You have a lot to be proud of. Wait, did you just tell me to take additional four cards?"
"Yeah, that's what the cards say," Yelena grinned.
"You're really merciless," Bucky growled.
“Don’t start sulking, old man!” Yelena smiled triumphantly.
Bucky smiled slightly and took the additional four cards.
"I'm sorry you lost you’re a friend that day," Yelena said softly.
"What?" Bucky stared at Yelena.
Yelena looked up from her cards, "That day, the day they returned the Infinity Stones after saving the world. I'm sorry you lost your friend."
Bucky smiled. Apart from Yelena, no one else had ever sympathized with Bucky for losing his best friend. Bucky even convinced himself that Steve deserved what he got after all his sacrificed for humanity, but Yelena's words gives him comfort. As ifs he was allowed to miss his best friend.
"I'm sorry you lost your sister," Bucky said softly.
After a year on the same team, Bucky felt he had seen many sides of Yelena. Naturally, kindness is the core of who Yelena was, but there was something in Yelena's gaze that night. Tenderness? Compassion?
Yelena looked away, but Bucky could see a faint smile on her face as she said very softly, “Thank you.”
"You know you don't have to follow Natasha’s footstep," Bucky said with a gentleness he himself had forgotten he possessed. "Yelena is Yelena."
Yelena rolled her eyes. "I think that goes for you too. I don't know what kind of person Sergeant James Barnes was as Captain America's sidekick, but I like this Bucky. He’s a good man, this Bucky."
Bucky look at Yelena in disbelief. For a moment, neither of them spoke. Comfortable silence falls between them.
"Hey! How could you guys play UNO without us?" John Walker’s booming voice broke the spell as he walked through the room, followed by Ava, Alexei, and Bob.
“Let’s start from the beginning. We’ll play in pairs,” Ava suggested.
Alexei forced everyone to draw to find partners. The result was John with Ava, Alexei with Bob, and Bucky with Yelena. Surprisingly, John and Bob were very good at playing UNO, leaving Bucky and Yelena far behind.
"Geees! You're sucking up all my luck, Bucky!" Yelena playfully pushing Bucky's shoulder.
"Well... I had a lot of time hiding in the attic as a child, and learning many card games," Bob said innocently.
Yelena insisted on continuing to play. Finally, as dawn approached, when Walker had drunk too much soda and Bob was too sleepy, Bucky and Yelena finally claim their victory.
Part 4: Rain Forecast
"He didn’t trust us right?" Yelena's question pulled Bucky from his thoughts, brought him back to the bustle of the family dinner right in the corner of the Watchtower.
Groups of teenagers in the corner erupt into laughter. Waiter shouted new orders to the cook in the kitchen. Bucky blinked, he looked down at the sandwiches and passion fruit pies that separate him from Yelena.
"Sam Wilson..." Yelena spat, "He didn’t trust us right?"
Bucky took a deep breath, unwilling to look at his partner. He was sure, the moment their eyes meet, words after words would spill from his lips. This time, Bucky decided to keep his mouth shut. He answer with a nod so faint.
Silence screaming between them.
This wasn’t a response Bucky expected from Yelena. Never, in the history of their time together, Yelena lost her words. Something was definitely wrong.
Slowly, Bucky lifted his head. Yelena wasn't looking at him at all. Her face turned toward the window. Bucky glanced at her direction. There was nothing except vast grey sky, but Yelena seems distracted by a problem bigger than the legal demands on their team.
Then softly she said, "The weather forecast was right,"
“Excuse me?" Bucky blink in confusion.
Then Yelena turned her head, finger pointing into the air, "It's going to rain,"
"I brought an umbrella, you don't need to worry," Bucky muttered.
Yelena picked up a fork and split the pie right in the middle, “Why don’t you leave the Watchtower?”
"Why should I leave Watchtower?" Bucky questioned.
"Captain America wants you on his team. You're free to leave anytime." Yelena said casually, as if they were discussing vacation plans, "Even from the beginning, you were the one who have no ties to Val at all."
"So you want me to leave?" Bucky blurted.
"This isn't about me, it's about what you want Bucky," Yelena's usual playful tone was replaced by something serious, "Unlike the rest of us, you don't have an obligation to stay. Sam Wilson trust you, and he wants you on his team."
"What if I don't want to?" Bucky cut off, his voice was sharper than he intended to.
Yelena rested her chin on her hands as she watched Bucky, her green eyes sparkling with curiosity, "Why? Because you have to make sure Bob would never release the Void again? Or is it because you don't believe that I can lead this team on my own?"
Bucky stare at Yelena in disbelief.
Yelena folded her hands on the table and leaned forward, "Bucky, you're my good friend. I know this lawsuit problem hurts you. I know part of you wants to be somewhere else. After all, you and Sam Wilson knew each other long before you knew us. I know this team owe you so much. You have guide us this far, but I will make sure that we won’t mess things up. We won't burden you if you want to support Sam..."
"Yelena, this team wasn’t a burden to me." Bucky interrupted Yelena, something he rarely did, “You are not a burden to me.”
"So there is a reason stronger than your connection to Sam Wilson that makes you stay." Yelena nodded as if satisfied with her conclusion before continue, "Mind to tell me what it is?"
Bucky blinked. Once. Twice.
He was running out of words. How could he explain to Yelena that this chaotic team was the closest thing he had to a family? How could he explain to Yelena that working with her brought out a side of Bucky he thought he would never find again? The James Barnes who loved to lead and embraced challenges. James Barnes who knew that his role in this world was to protect, not to destroy. How could Bucky explain to Yelena that her presence makes him feel like spring lasts all year long?
That Yelena makes him comfortable spending hours and hours chatting about everything and anything. From mission strategy, weapon logistic, best jogging routes, to deliciously unusual restaurant in every cities they visit in the name of mission.
“No?” Yelena pout, and carelessly took another bite to her pie.
Bucky unconsciously reached out to wipe the cream spot from the corner of Yelena's lips. They both gasped in surprise when their skin touched, just in time, the lightning crack outside the window.
"Wow! That was close!" Yelena muttered while Bucky sipped his coffee to hide his nervousness.
Then silence again.
Bucky tried to steady his breath by focusing on the sounds of raindrops hitting the glass window.
"Honestly, I don't want you to leave." Yelena muttered.
"Yeah?" one second, Bucky thought he was misheard, but then Yelena continue.
"You're my anchor. Without you, I think I'd go crazy dealing with all this. But it feels selfish to hold you back, and stand between you and Sam Wilson." Yelena pursed her lips.
Bucky shook his head, "Yelena, you are everything but selfish."
Yelena took a deep breath and looked at Bucky, "Bucky, you are the best co-leader our team ever asked for. You calm Walker’s anger, you match Ava’s phase precisely, and you were always so gentle with Bob. Even my dad listen to you without any argument. Mel was head over hills for you. You are so good at everything you do."
“No I’m not.”
“Yes you are!” Yelena glared at him, “Stop degrading yourself!”
“It’s you.” Bucky corrected.
Yelena gasped.
"You makes everything easier Yelena.“ Bucky continued, "'Cause you knew what I was saying though I never said a word.”
Bucky tried his best to keep his hands where they were, but Yelena reach them and suddenly warmth spread into every inch of Bucky’s body, and declared, "Partner!"
Bucky placed his other hand on top of Yelena's, "Partner."
"You know, everything becomes easier when you have a partner." Yelena grinned.
The truth in Yelena's words unconsciously made Bucky smile.
"Oh look! Did I just makes you smile?" Yelena exclaimed.
"Just don't take candid pictures and send them to the group chat," Bucky warned.
Yelena laughed so hard her head almost hit the sofa. How could Bucky explain that her laughter warmed his soul? That no matter how bad the weather or circumstances were, Bucky didn't want to be anywhere else but by Yelena's side.
Part 5: Gravity
"Do you love me, James?"
Bucky looked away from the fragments of reality scattered in the sky above as different worlds began to collide, and turned to found Yelena's green eyes staring at him with a determination that was all too familiar, as if she would pull out Bucky's soul if she didn't get the answer, “Do you love me, James Buchanan Barnes?”
This time, Bucky answered without a doubt, "Yes."
Then something unexpected happen. Yelena laughed as if he had just told her a joke. Bucky frown.
"This is the cruelest thing ever! Here, at the edge of reality, when one of us could die. Worse, we could both die!" Yelena run her hand through her hair, "I thought we had time, more time. At least everything would feel lighter if you didn't feel what I feel..."
Before Yelena could finish her sentence, Bucky pulled her into his embrace. Slowly, Bucky could feel the tension melt away. Bucky kissed the top of Yelena's head while Yelena wrapped her arms around Bucky's waist.
"You know, when I found you with Bob in the void. For the first time, I felt like I was in the right place." Bucky knew words won’t change anything, but Yelena deserve the truth. "You're like gravity, constantly pulling me in. I'm not going anywhere. I'll fight by your side until..."
"Until the end of the line?" Yelena lifted her face.
Bucky laughed bitterly because it was a sacred promise he and Steve made lifetime ago. And Steve broke it.
His best friend crossed the boundaries of reality, causing multiversal chaos just so he could have a normal life with his love ones. Simple act that cost high price to pay. The one Bucky should pay, and closing off any chance of living his won normal life.
Bucky shook his head, “Not until the end of the line, but always.”
Yelena squint, “Does that mean you’ll haunt me in every universe, James Barnes?”
Bucky chuckled, "Yeah, I guess so."
Yelena pout, "Now shut up and kiss me! I bet you owe me at least once in this reality."
This time Bucky laughed out loud. Even at the edge of reality, Yelena Belova remained unbeatable. And Bucky didn't want to be anywhere else but by her side.