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“All I’m saying is that I don’t understand how this is an Olympic sport.”
“Why not?”
“Because.” David gestured at the tv that was currently paused. “It looks ridiculous!”
“Just because something looks unconventional doesn’t mean it isn’t a difficult activity that requires athleticism and focus.”
“Are you really defending this? Or just trolling me?”
“Both.” Patrick shrugged his shoulders and grinned.
David rolled his eyes in response.
“Look, I guess I understand the single man luge - sled down a hill the fastest or whatever, but why add the second guy?”
“First of all, they aren’t just ‘sledding down a hill’. They are literally on the most aerodynamic sled ever made, going almost 100 miles an hour down an ice chute. It’s very dangerous and takes skill, balance, steering, training - it’s all very technical.”
“Fine, but why. add. the. second. guy?” David clapped between each word.
“I don’t know. I guess just to add another dimension to the sport? Why have doubles figure skating?”
“I won’t have you slandering pairs figure skating….and besides, they are both doing jumps and spins and things. With two people they can do lifts. It adds to the sport!”
“So does this! The bottom adds more weight and power to the sled.”
David paused. “I’m trying very hard not to make a power bottom joke right now.”
“Mmm. Your restraint is appreciated,” Patrick replied with just a hint of sarcasm.
“How did this even start anyway? What did that conversation look like? Lay on top of me…don’t worry about my dick rubbing on your ass? Let’s sled down this hill together? I'll try not to get hard.”
“I don’t know, David. Want me to check Wikipedia for the full history of the luge?”
“Maybe! It just sounds like a lie - or a joke - that got out of hand. Like, did someone’s wife catch her husband laying on top of another man and they just made something up then had to make it real?!”
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
“None of this makes any sense! And, like, who would even volunteer to be on the bottom? He just lies there, doing nothing, with another full grown man on top of him! That can’t be very exciting.”
Patrick chuckled. “Oh, I don’t know…I can remember plenty of times where you were just lying there underneath me, not doing anything, and it seemed like you were having a pretty good time.”
David gasped. “How dare you! Implying that I just lie there like a dead fish while you fuck me?!”
“Relax, baby.” Patrick realized he'd taken this conversation too far and scooted closer to David on the couch reaching for him. “I’m not saying that you’re like that all the time. Sometimes we don’t have as much energy to participate as others. It’s all amazing with you.”
David let out a huff as Patrick started nipping at David’s neck.
“I love when you’re laid out under me, letting me take control, take care of you, giving you everything you need….”
“Yes, we all know that you’re the biggest service top that ever lived. I just don’t like the implication that I don’t always - participate.”
“I wasn’t complaining, I was just pointing out that we all have our role and none of it is useless. Just like the guy on the bottom of the doubles luge team.” Patrick moved to straddle David’s lap.
“Patrick…” David whined.
“What, baby?”
“Why are you mounting me and talking about sports at the same time?” He responded between heavy breaths.
“You’re the one that made this sexy - talking about two men lying on top of each other. I was perfectly content just watching the Olympics,” Patrick replied as he removed his t-shirt and moved on to David’s sweater.
“Do we have lube down here?”
“Yup.” Patrick reached over to the end table and opened the drawer.
“Good.”
“What do you want, baby? Want to climb on top and ride me? Prove me wrong about what an active participant you are when you bottom?” Patrick couldn’t help but tease even while unbuttoning David’s pants and lowering the zipper.
“You’re not funny,” David managed to get out.
“Wasn’t trying to be. So?”
“I want the opposite. I want to sit here and watch you ride my dick. Just for that snide comment, I’m going to make you do all the work. I’m not going to move my hips one inch.”
“Hmmm….I don’t think you’re making a very good case for yourself here, David. Kinda proving my point actually.” He smirked.
“That’s it.” David shoved Patrick sideways off his lap and onto the couch. “Take your pants off and lean over the back of that couch. I’m going to rail you into next week and then you can take back all the mean things you’ve just said.”
Patrick was shocked at David’s sudden change in demeanor, but god did he love it when David took control and manhandled him a bit. He gulped. His eyes darkened. And he did as he was told.
—-------------
Afterward, they unpaused the TV to continue watching the Olympics.
“Can we switch to something else?” David asked. “This truly is a ridiculous event.”
“I agree.”
“Oh, so you agree now?”
“I agreed before. I just wanted to get you riled up.”
“You’re the worst.”
“Are you complaining about the end result? Because I, for one, fully enjoyed that.”
“No, I’m not, but your ass is going to be filing a complaint in the morning. Are you sure you’re okay, that was a bit rougher than normal.”
“I told you, I’m fine. In fact, I’m so fine that I plan on getting you worked up again tomorrow night for a repeat performance.”
David rolled his eyes. “And how do you plan on doing that?”
“Oh, I don’t know, lots of options really. I could explain the complexities of curling.”
“You know my thoughts on that already!”
“I do."
"It's old people shuffleboard on ice."
" Okay. We could move on to the speed skating team pursuit.”
“The one where they hold the ass of the person in front of them the whole time?!”
“That’s the one.” Patrick nodded and grinned. “How about the biathlon?”
“What’s that? Running and biking? Or running and swimming? How is that a winter sport?”
“It’s actually cross country skiing with a rifle on your back and stopping at certain points to shoot at targets.”
“What?! Why?! Who made that up?! What, we’re just going to mash together any two sports we feel like and call it a biathlon?!” David's hands were flying and his voice was rising again.
“I guess so. But save some of this righteous indignation for tomorrow - not sure my ass can take any more tonight.”
“You’re ridiculous, you know that?!”
“Ridiculously hot for my husband when he takes control and manhandles me? Yeah, I know.”
David huffed out a laugh. “Hey, I’ve got an idea.”
“What’s that?”
“We go upstairs and you can try for a personal best in our very own biathlon.”
“Oh yeah? And what two events would I be participating in?”
“Eating my ass and fucking me.”
“Mmm. My favorites.”
“Oh wait…also sucking my dick. So, triathlon?”
“Even better.”
“Gonna go for the gold, honey?” David asked cheekily.
“You know it. Every. Damn. Time.”