Chapter Text
Taeju’s POV
“Euihyun, look at me.” I can’t help but growl it; the words hissing through my teeth before I can stop myself and try to deliver it gently. I hate the way Euihyun flinches at the urgency in my voice, and I just about stop myself from falling to my knees on the kitchen floor and bury my face into his knees to beg for forgiveness (again).
We’re in the kitchen at my apartment, and Euihyun is sat on the stool at the kitchen counter picking at the breakfast I made for him. He’s been avoiding me the last couple of days, more than usual at least. He’s been living with me for several weeks now ever since I found him at the beach – I thought he was going to kill himself: or try to, again, at least. I can’t describe the emotions that came over me that day. He told me not to follow him, but since when did I ever listen to what I was told? I followed him, and I found him staring out over the ocean with a longing in his eyes. I can’t explain what I felt – I have never felt that way before. Euihyun told me since I had a panic attack, but it felt so much more than that – I thought my whole entire world was about to collapse. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve made so many mistakes in my life; so, so many. But nothing will ever compare to how I’ve treated Euihyun. I’m not quite sure I can ever be redeemed for that.
Euihyoung stayed at a friend’s house last night. Apparently, he’ll be there tonight as well. I’m not sure how Euihyun feels about that, however I can feel the protective brotherly instincts bristling in him even now without Euihyoung here with him. My god, Euihyun is so loving and protective, and I clench my jaw at the gut-wrenching twist in my stomach at the realisation that comes to me almost daily: Euihyun has never had that before. He has never had anyone feel that way about him, never had anyone protect him. Never felt the love he’s given to others so freely, and I can’t say I’ve made that any easier for him. Not until recently. Even so, it’s not enough. It’ll never be enough.
It takes everything in me to stop myself from leaning across and brush away a stray strand of hair and tuck it behind his ear. I yearn to touch him, and it doesn’t even matter in what capacity. Don’t get me wrong, I want nothing more than to have Euihyun gripping onto me in the darkness with my name on his tongue and his body arching up into mine. But, more than that, I want him to look at me. I want him to lean his cheek into my hand. I want him to smile at me. I want him to lean into me as I kiss his forehead and tell him how beautiful he is.
I swallow the lump in my throat at the stifling silence that we both sit in. He still hasn’t answered me, and he hasn’t looked at me. I inhale and exhale slowly, urging my body to calm and I clench and unclench my fists. What’s gotten into him? Why won’t he even look at me? Fuck, is he having second thoughts already? I look away from him; I don’t want to scare him by just staring at him until he answers. What good would that do? I don’t want him scared. I want him happy. Content. Mine.
Euihyun’s POV
I feel so childish. I’m sat at the kitchen table breaking apart the sandwich Taeju made for me, and I’ve barely eaten any of it. I feel weird. I’m not hungry at all, but I’ve not eaten much lately. That, and my stomach is killing me. I’m getting super bad cramps, and I have no idea why – I calculated my heat cycle and I’m not due to enter my heat for another week or so. Maybe I’ll take some suppressors anyway, just to be on the safe side.
Taeju’s eyes feels like they’re burning into the side of my skull, and I know he’s staring at me. Waiting for me to reply. Respond. React. Do anything. But I don’t. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what to do. I do feel lost without Euihyoung, and there’s a part of me that is afraid of being alone with Taeju. Not because I’m scared of him, not really. But because I’m scared of what my heart wants in comparison to my brain. For some reason, his pheromones sing to me in a way they never have before – he’s always smelt good, not that I’d ever admit that to him, but his smell now is so.. moreish. I take in a deep breath, a guise to pretend I’m simply breathing deep, but instead I’m inhaling more of his smell. I feel like.. I feel like I need it. Need him. And that just pisses me off even more.
I hear Taeju sigh but I don’t look. I won’t. I can’t. If I do, I don’t know what I’ll do, or what I’ll say. I hear the scrape of the kitchen stool, and still, I school my features into neutrality. I won’t let him see me falter.
“Euihyun.” His voice is like honey, and I narrow my eyes in his direction. Still, I don’t look at him. I can feel him closer now, his presence so close to me. It takes everything in me not to lean back into him. He closes the distance for me, and I stiffen as I feel his chest at my back. I’m still sat upon the kitchen stool at the counter, and now he’s stood behind me. His chest is at my spine, and his hands settle carefully and gently at my waist, as if seeking approval. I twist my neck and glare behind me at him and bare my teeth, ready to cuss him out. Who does he think he is, touching me whenever he wants? But as soon as I twist in my seat, the breath is stolen from my chest. I can’t do anything but stare at him as he gazes down at me; tears lining his eyes as his body is half enveloped around mine. His eyes are full of so much emotion – more than I’ve ever seen, I think. His lips are pursed and there’s a furrow to his ‘brow as he leans down a little, pressing his forehead against mine. I swallow thickly, and I forget whatever it is I was about to say.
“Euihyun.. are you okay? I’m worried about you” Taeju whispers, his breath against my cheek as I continue to gaze up at him. My jaw is still clenched, and I am rigid against him, but I don’t make a move to pull away. I can’t. I mean, I could if I wanted to, but... I don’t. I don’t want to. I want to lean back into his chest and let him hold me forever. I want his pheromones to cover me, and I want him to take care of me for the rest of my life…
FUCK! Where did that come from?
At that ridiculous thought I tear myself away from him and scramble out of the seat, on my feet in a matter of seconds. I back away from him and my back presses against the kitchen counter, and I glare at him with the few feet I’ve put between us. “What do you think you’re doing?!” I snarl, my hands clenching into fists. I’ve got good mind to smash a fist into his stomach; at least then he’ll know I’m not playing around. Still, I don’t. Of course I don’t. He smells too good right now, and I forget what I’m so annoyed about when his pheromones envelope me once again.
Taeju’s POV
What has gotten into my beloved brat? One moment, he’s all but melting in my hands. The next, he’s glaring at me like I’ve personally offended everyone he’s ever known (which, now I think about it, probably wouldn’t be a bad thing). He’s glaring at me, pressed against the kitchen counter, his chest raising and falling with a heavy intake of breaths. Still, he probably doesn’t even know he’s doing it, but I see the way his nostrils flare. Not in anger, but instead in scent. He’s scenting me for whatever reason, and I don’t give myself a moment to second-guess why that might be. He might not be the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to how the alpha and omega system works (I had to teach him how to put a condom on, for God’s sake), but I close the gap instantly. Two long strides later and I’m in front of him, chest against chest as I press him back a little firmer into the kitchen counter side.
He opens his mouth about to cuss me out but again, I don’t give him time to recover. I lean down and press my lips to his, my lashes fluttering closed. To begin, it’s sweet, and I can feel him melt into it, however I can also feel how much he’s trying to fight against his own instincts. I don’t let him. Instead, I run my tongue across his bottom lip seeking more, and I release my pheromones a little bit to wrap around us both in our very own cocoon. I can feel him almost vibrating beneath me, whether that’s in lust or anger I’m not quite sure. Either way, his lips part at my request, and I press my tongue against his as I lap inside his mouth. He doesn’t go easy on me, and our tongues battle for dominance. I can’t help but groan against his onslaught and I lean more into him, groaning into his heat as I let him take control of this – for now, at least. His hands slide into my hair and he yanks roughly and I groan again, my hands falling to his hips as I press him even rougher against the kitchen counter and I grind into him. Fuck, he’s so perfect – he feels so good, he is so beautiful, and he’s mine. Mine. Mine. All mine. I growl into his mouth and our teeth clack against each other as I kiss him with more passion, pinning him completely between me and the counter. We both part to gasp for breath and he’s panting, those dark eyes brimming with a number of emotions I can’t read. A string of saliva is hanging between us in the barely-there space between our lips as we’re both panting, and my gaze bores into his as I search his eyes for any sign that he may not want this. I never want to force him again.
I’m tired of doing things he doesn’t like.
Euihyun’s POV
The air between us is thick. Pheromones, yes, but so much more. So many things unsaid, so many emotions dampening the air. Too many clothes are between us, and I hate myself for how my fingers curl into the front of his shirt and how his big hands are on the kitchen counter gripping onto the marble either side of me. I feel pinned, but those light eyes search mine for something. I swallow thickly, and I realise he’s waiting. What’s he waiting for? I feel so embarrassed by this at how my body responds to his, and all logic went out the window the moment he kissed me. I know it’s pathetic, but there’s something in the fact that he loses his mind just as quickly as I do. We’re desperate for each other, and even so.. I’m still scared to tell him. I’m not sure why, but this is a feeling that’s followed me forever. I hate feeling scared, but feeling scared is the only sense of normality I’ve ever had. It’s the earliest emotion I remember feeling, all the way from when my mother left me with.. him. I don’t want to use the word ‘dad’, he’s nothing to me. Then, again, when Euihyoung was left by his father. I was so close to being free – I was so close to being my own person, making my own life. But the sight of Euihyoung wrapped in blankets left alone on the floor tugged on everything in me, and I couldn’t leave. I’ve done everything in my power to make sure Euihyoung doesn’t feel scared like I have for the majority of my life, but.. but I failed with that.
The moment I took Euihyoung into the ocean with me, I failed him. I was ready to end both of us together – because, otherwise, what sort of life would Euihyoung have had? But.. that’s when everything changed. For better or worse, it depends on what time of the past couple of the years I focus on, but right now, the man stood in front of me is the reason I’m alive at all. And the reason Euihyoung is alive. And for that, I will forever be grateful.
“Euihyun, please talk to me,” I realise I’m still staring directly into Taeju’s eyes. He’s in front of me still, leant downwards so our eyes are level. My back is still pressed against the kitchen counter, hands in his shirt. His hands are still either side of me and our lips are still inches apart. He has made no further move. What’s happened to that pervert?
“I..” I start, but I can’t finish. How am I supposed to tell him what’s going on? How am I supposed to tell him how I’m feeling? How am I supposed to express how.. how this information going to change our lives forever? God, I want to hide somewhere and never show my face again. I won’t tell him. I can’t. It’s not even confirmed, I haven’t done a test, it’s just a feeling I have. I won’t put everything on the line over a feeling. “It’s nothing. I just don’t feel well.”
“You’re ill?” Taeju’s voice carries concern, and I hate how I ache to press my lips to his again for that alone. He presses his palm against my forehead and I can’t help but lean into it, and his gaze carries so much worry. “Why don’t you go and rest? I’ll hold you until you fall asleep, Euihyun.” I swallow thickly and quickly nod, but my body has different ideas. I’m not tired in the slightest, but I need to get away from him before this goes any further. I push against him to try and slip past him, but his hands either side of my body don’t slack in order to let me pass. Instead, his arms flex even more as if he can’t bare to let me out of his remit. Before I decide what to do next, his lips travel down to my jaw and his nose nudges against my jaw, pushing my head upwards. His lips find the spot on my throat that makes my knees weak, and he inhales deeply. “God, you smell so good”, he grumbles into my skin, and his tongue lathes at my pulse point. I gasp and clutch onto him even tighter, a blush covering my cheeks as I clench my jaw. “Get off of me, Taeju!” I exclaim, but there’s no anger to my voice, and I hate that even more. His tongue lathes the flesh at my throat and I angle my head to give him better access, my knuckles whitening at his shirt as he groans into my skin. One of his hands release the kitchen counter to settle at my hip and drag me even tighter into him and the flush across my cheeks travels across my whole face as I feel how hard he is pressing against my stomach. I can feel him smirking against my skin as he must feel how hard I am too, and I make an attempt to wriggle free out of his grip on me, albeit it’s iron-tight. “I said get off-!”, but his pheromones settle over me like they were made specifically for me alone. He growls into my skin and I feel teeth against my throat as he suckles at my pulse point now and my eyes roll a little into the back of my head. Before I realise it, one of my hands have travelled to rest on the back of his head, pressing his face further into me. He rumbles in approval as his teeth scrape against my throat and I feel the bruise starting to form already, his bite settling on skin marking me as his. I can’t help the moans that escape me, my lips parted and eyes half-glazed in the pleasure and slight pain balance that takes over me.
Eventually, Taeju finally pulls away. His eyes are blown and his lips are parted, slightly swollen from the onslaught against my neck. He’s panting lightly and his nostrils flare at my scent and he runs his tongue across his bottom lip as if savouring me just like this. Before I can even say anything, he leans down and grabs my waist with both hands, hoisting me roughly up to sit up on the kitchen counter. From this position we’re near enough the same height, and he spreads my legs to slide between them, my thighs either side of his own. My face is flushed red and I raise a hand to swat at him. I need some space. I need to breathe. I need to remember what the fuck I’m doing; I need to remember who I am. But I can’t. Not when he catches my wrist before I bring my palm to slap him, and instead he intertwines our fingers. I hate (love) that the most.
Taeju’s POV
God, he’s so beautiful. He’s the most beautiful when he’s like this, his features contorted in fury but the way his body responds to me is delicious. It’s always like this with us, Euihyun refusing me in a way that’s contradictory to what he wants. Still, I won’t push him any further than what he specifically says he wants. I won’t force him. I never will, never again. He’s on the kitchen counter now, his sandwich left forgotten. His thighs are spread and open for me as I stand between them, and that flush covering his cheeks makes me feel weak. He told me he’s ill, but he doesn’t seem ill. He does seem different however, and it’s still not an explanation for why he’s been so distant from me the last couple of days. One hand remains on his hip to pin him in place, however my grip is loose enough for him to free himself if he truly wished it. My other hand trails up his body; up over his waist, his stomach, lingering at his chest. We’re both fully clothed but my fingers lightly tease his nipple through his shirt, just gentle feathering strokes over the nub through the thin material. My cock throbs in my trousers at the little whimpers that escape him, and although his eyes remain hardened and narrowed, the way his lips part for me and me alone makes me want to bury myself in him here and now, give into every animalistic tendency that’s screaming in my head to simply take him here and now. Instead, I force my hand at his chest upward; up over his torso, his throat (lingering at the mark I left on his throat for a second longer than I should), up to his jaw and to his cheek. I brush my thumb over his reddened cheek as I gaze at him, our eyes locked and I tuck that stray hair behind his ear as I smile softly at him. I want him safe. I want him to feel safe. I want him mine. “Please tell me what’s wrong,” I start. “I know something is bothering you. Whatever it is, you can tell me.” I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches again or the way his hands, that are now settled ontop his thighs, fidget a little.
“It’s nothing, I told you already. I’m just not feeling well!” Euihyun snaps, but I know he’s lying. I hum in response, both my hands now falling to his lap. “If that’s true, then what’s with you sulking?” I pout, and I feel him inhale a deep breath the way he does before he makes my eardrums feel like they’re bleeding. He’s got a pair of lungs on him, I’ll give him that, and the way he raises his voice when I’m getting to the truth and to divert the conversation is something I’ve come to learn about him. Before he can explode, I crash my lips back to his again and swallow his surprised gasp as I kiss him passionately. One of my hands travel up and under his shirt and I waste no time as my fingers latch onto his nipple and I twist it gently beneath the pads of my fingers, grinding my fingers into the sensitive nub. I pleasure him that way and I love the way his body instantly arches into me. My other hand works at his trousers, undoing the laces and yanking his trousers down as much as I can in this awkward position. I manage to yank his trousers open so his cock springs free and he writhes beneath me, shoving at me but I don’t let him escape me so easily. Not right now. I continue to kiss him, trying to pour in every single emotion I can this way. Every single feeling I have for him – love, desperation, wanting, yearning, passion. And everything else.
I wrap my large fingers around his cock, and I feel the way he melts beneath my touch as I jerk him slowly. My fingers at his nipple continue to tease and I eventually have to pull away from our kissing to gasp for breath. His eyes are hooded and his breath is in short bursts as my fingers continue, his own hands have found their way back to the front of my shirt as he’s grasping on for dear life. His hips are gyrating a little ontop the counter so he’s grinding his cock into my hand and my own cock throbs in response, but I shove that away – it’s not about me. Not yet. This is all for him. “Please, Euihyun. Tell me what’s bothering you..”. This time, he doesn’t cuss me out, and the little whimpers that escape him are his only response. I quicken the pace of my fist around his cock and I feel it throb in my grasp, and I run my tongue across my bottom lip in anticipation. “No,” he eventually responds, and his eyes have fluttered shut. I’m not sure if he’s telling me no – he won’t tell me what’s wrong, or if he’s telling me no – telling me to stop. I pause my movements to ask him what he means, but when I pause, his eyes fly back open again and the hunger that burns there is enough to steal my breath away. “Why’d you stop?”.
He gasps, and that reaction alone is enough to plant a deliciously grand idea into my mind.
Euihyun’s POV
My whole body is alight. I’m twitching, and I feel so much more sensitive than usual. My head is fried, and my only thoughts are Taeju. This isn’t me in heat, I know that. But it doesn’t feel entirely dissimilar – my body craves him, entirely and utterly. When I asked him why he stopped, the smirk on his face spoke volumes. He’s got some perverted idea in his mind – I’m not sure what it is, but I know it’s enough for him to sink to his knees infront of me. I’m instantly caught off guard as I’m still sat atop the kitchen counter, my thighs wide and open and my cock tugged free out of my trousers. I flush at the sight of him knelt on the cold marbled kitchen floor, and his face is the same level as my hips. I flush darkly and I snap “what are you doing? Get up, stupid pervert-!”. But he simply grins up at me, and in that moment, I remember how beautiful he is. The sunlight is streaming through the window and the sun dances across every inch of him and highlights the fair undertones in his light hair. The strands are pushed back off his face as he leans in and without warning, runs his tongue from the tip of my cock down to the underside down to the base. I arch my back and both my hands come to grab his hair as he chuckles, his hands coming to spread my legs even more. I think my whole body is on fire; and my lips are parted in disbelief as I watch his tongue tease at the tip of my cock as he laps away the pre-cum beading there. “D-don’t-!” I exclaim but he gazes up at me through thick lashes, pressing the tip of my cock past his lips as he suckles. I can’t help the guttural whimper that escapes me as I press his head deeper into me, pressing my cock deeper into his mouth. His mouth is so warm, his tongue so soft. The way he’s gazing up at me is enough to make me crazy, and I’m grappling at his hair desperately. I’m so close already – fuck. He swallows me down completely down to the base and hums around me, the vibrations travelling down my shaft and making my toes curl. I’m panting now, watching him as I’m completely at his mercy. My chest is rapidly rising and falling as I try to catch my breath, but I can’t – my skin is alight, and all I can focus on is the sensation of his mouth.
The way my fingers curl in his hair makes him groan and I realise he likes the sensation. I half-shyly tug again. It’s ridiculous, really. Any other time outside of this I’d not hesitate at all to put him in his place. But the way he’s on his knees just for me – sucking me with abandon, it makes me weak for him. I grab his hair even rougher this time, the curls wrapped around my fingers as I tug harshly, forcing him down to the base again. The way he’s gazing up at me shows his eyes full of approval and lust, and his tongue is pressed beneath the shaft, the pad of it cupping me perfectly. He pulls back a little and continues fucking his throat on me and my toes curl again, my head knocking back as I can’t bare to look at him anymore. If I do, I think I’ll get lost in his eyes forever – he’s so perfect.
I’m so fucking close. I’m so wet, I can feel it, and it’s half a wonder I haven’t slipped right off this table. My toes are curled, my moans echo in the kitchen, my eyes are rolled into the back of my head. Sweat sheens my chest beneath my half-raised shirt and my whimpers fill the space between us. All other thoughts are gone – all I know is this. All I know is him. My climax is right there, so close. And I’m about to – I’m about to – “Fuck, I’m gonna-!”
But before I can claim that sweet climax, before I can fill his mouth with my cum, he pulls away. I yelp in surprise at the sudden emptiness, and my hands grapple for purchase in his hair as he grins up at me, and my cock throbs pathetically hard and dripping with pre’ and his saliva. My face flushes darkly and the denied orgasm settles over me, my chest panting. “Taeju! You asshole!” I growl, and this time I truly am pissed off. What the fuck is he playing at? My hands grip extra hard in his hair and I don’t even feel bad when he winces, and I yank his head closer inbetween my thighs and use the leverage I have in his hair to grind my cock against his lips. He parts his lips and laps at my shaft, but he’s still gazing up at me with that fucking smirk on his face.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Euihyun. Then I’ll let you finish.” He punctuates this with a lick against my sac, and I have half a mind to kill him right here and now. He might be an alpha, but I don’t care. I’ll finish him off right here and now if I have to. What gives him the right-?
But then he grabs my thighs and he raises a little so now he’s back on his feet but leant over. He shoves me backwards and I yelp, landing back on the kitchen counter on my back so now I’m led down, although my thighs are still wide open and I stumble to get to a half-raised position, so I’m braced up on my forearms. “Taeju! Get off!” I go to kick out but he catches my foot and he grins, wasting no time in yanking down my trousers. I writhe and wriggle to get free but I’m naked from the waist down now, and I lash out my foot again with the intent to smack my foot right into his jaw. I almost succeed, but it’s like he can anticipate my outbursts now. Before I know it his hands are grabbing my thighs and he hoists my thighs up so I’m half bent in half on the counter, and he buries his face between my asscheeks. I yelp and writhe but his tongue is already battering at my hole, and I almost yell out in pleasure. “Fuck!” I exclaim, my cock twitching as my hands scrabble at the marble countertop. His tongue is relentless and his hands are solid at my thighs, keeping me pinned and exactly where he wants me. I have half a mind to twist myself free and punish him completely and utterly for making me into this pervert for enjoying something like this. This is all his fault; it has to be! But still, when his tongue presses against and past the ring of muscle, my forearms collapse and I allow myself to fall back, completely back flat against the counter as all I can do is spread my thighs even more for him. My cock is heavily leaking against my stomach now and I’m panting, whimpers filling the kitchen in the morning sunlight.
Taeju’s POV
God, this is delicious. Why have I never done this before? The way Euihyun falls to putty beneath my hands is delicious. Still, I can’t forget my mission. This is fun and all, and to be honest it’s been what’s plaguing my dreams for weeks now. But Euihyun is more important than anything, and he will tell me what’s wrong one way or another.
I feel his hole clench around my tongue and he’s panting like a dog in heat right now, his nails clawing against the marble countertop. I smirk into flesh and I can feel how close he is, I can see his cock twitching and the pre’ dribbling down the shaft. God, I’m starving for him. I’d do anything for him. Just as he’s about to cum, I pull away again, and this time he actually does yell out in frustration. I’m quicker than him though, and I grab his wrists before he lashes out to hit me. I pin his wrists down onto the counter and I loom over him and he’s writhing and wriggling in need, and I see tears lacing his eyes. I almost feel sorry for him and almost release him until I realise, they’re tears of pleasure, and how good that must’ve felt for him. My mouth waters in the innate need to continue and to take care of my omega, but I push that feeling down.
“Tell me what’s wrong, darling. Tell me, and I’ll let you finish.” I lean down and up and press my lips to his, letting him taste himself on my lips. He stiffens beneath me and I know he probably thinks it’s a little gross, but I love the feeling of him. I love the taste of him. I love him. I grin as he pulls away and I nuzzle my nose into his throat and ask again. “Please, Euihyun. Tell me what’s wrong..” I mumble huskily into his skin. “Otherwise, you’ll be so unfulfilled tonight. You want to be a good boy for me, don’t you?”.
That gets him. He manages to free his hands from my grasp, and he grabs at my hair again, but this time it’s not as harsh or as domineering. He gazes up at me, and this is the first time since we started, I’ve seen uncertainty on his face. I frown. Is it that serious? The mood instantly turns a little somber, and I have enough awareness to know that this might be more significant than I originally thought. I release him completely and move back a little to give him some space and help him to sit up. We’re both painfully hard, but now he’s not looking at me and he’s chewing his lip nervously. What is going on..?
“Whatever it is, you can tell me. I’m here for you.” I rest my palm on his cheek and stroke my thumb against his skin. I gaze at him as gently as I can, and I eventually press my forehead against his. “Please tell me,” I whisper, and I press my lips against his own softly. Sweetly. Gently. I want him to trust me.
“I…” Euihyun swallows thickly. It’s making me nervous now, this shift in atmosphere and emotion. “I think I’m pregnant, Taeju.”