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I watch as my brother is viciously dragged out of the theater. All I can do is watch as the rest of my family slips away. I’m alone. I never liked being alone. I always had company whether it was my siblings or parents or even just my inventions. But now it’s all gone, my family, my inventions, my life. I feel sick. Like my whole world is being split apart. Like I will never feel whole again. I know without my family that my soul will never be complete. And now that I'm married to Count Olaf I don't know what will happen to me.
“Hello my wife!” I hear Olaf say as he grabs my waist from behind. “Are you ready to go home now?” He whispers into my ear as he wraps himself around me.
“I will never.” I state as I try to get out of his grasp. He slowly lets go of me. But then he grabs my wrist and pulls hard on my arm. He starts dragging me out of the back doors of the theater and towards his
house. All I can do is let myself be dragged. I don’t have the energy to fight. It’s like I’m numb. I don't know what’s going on. I’m so overwhelmed with emotions It’s like I hardly feel them at all.
As he drags me back towards the house he starts talking about rules and the things I’m supposed to do as his wife. Apparently having the Boudilare fortune was not enough. And now that I don’t have Sunny or Klaus to help I have no idea what I will do.
He keeps talking even when we arrive in the house. He immediately drags me to the kitchen and tells me to make him and his crew dinner. At least this time theirs ingredients in the fridge. I mindlessly look through the fridge and land on making them garlic butter shrimp and some rice. That’s really all that is left from the shopping trip me and my siblings went on the other day. As I’m cooking more and more plans and ideas come to me but without Klaus and Sunny I don’t even know where to start. God I miss them. If only they were here then maybe I would have enough energy to fight or at least run.
I let the ideas die down for now knowing that Olaf and his crew would be on high alert. I know it’s crucial for me to gain their trust to break free. But I also know that will take time. I don't know if I have that much time left.
As I finish making dinner I plate it and prepare to bring it to them. Storing some in a little compartment I made with some of the things in the kitchen while the food was cooking. I slide the compartment into my dress hoping to fix up the dress later so hopefully I can hide more in it.
I then start to bring out the plates. As I set it in front of Olaf he at least has enough decency to not comment on the meal this time. However he does comment on the time it took me.
“Well if you wanted it out fast you should have let my siblings stay alive so that I would have had help.” I sarcastically but dryly say. He does not like this. I attempt to block out what he’s saying but I feel so uncomfortable the words seem to lock onto my skin and pull it apart. I feel disgusted as I can hear him say disgusting things about me. He ends it with words that haunt me.
“Well maybe next time if you're good you can have a little treat but if your bad I’ll let myself have a piece of you.” And oh how that made my skin feel like it was peeling and tearing right off the bone. I feel so disgusted as I look down not wanting to make eye contact with him or any of the rest of the crew. I don’t let myself cry or really feel much but in the back of my mind I can feel anger and sadness and all these other things pressing forward wanting to be released.
As they start eating I go up to “my” room. Olaf let me off for tonight but I know that was a small luxury as tomorrow starts the chores and everything else he said that I honestly didn’t really listen to. I can only imagine the horrors to come. And oh I really don’t want to.
I let myself drift off to sleep early. Knowing this would probably be my last night of good sleep.
I’m awoken early by my door being taken off. I jolt up in suprise. Olaf just laughs at me.
“Theres no privacy. You don’t deserve it. You are nothing more than my property and I can do whatever I want to you.” And those words make me want to throw up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~a year later~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wake up like I do everyday, with Olaf standing over me. He tells me to get up and start the morning chores as he has theater practice. As he walks out of the room I get up and get my dress on. While I am still mostly compliant there are still some small things I let myself do; such as having sewed secret compartments into my dresses and have other spots around where I can hide books and bigger things. The days are hard and I hate it here but I’m slowly gaining more independence, like now I can be in the house by myself!
I go downstairs to start breakfast for myself and the rest of the crew. I make myself some eggs with a mix of vegetables and make the theater crew a mix of things such as pancakes, waffles, eggs, bacon, and a variety of fruit and vegetables. By the time this is done Olaf and his crew are done with their morning practice.
I hear Olaf and his friends start to come into the dining room as I grab the last of the plates to bring to them. I walk into the dining room as they pass around the meal. I have my own plate made as I walk to Olaf. Every meal he makes me sit next to him. He had me make a double seat that takes up the whole span of the end of the table. I set my plate down next to his as I mindlessly slide into the double seat. I can feel his legs brush on mine as his hand that’s not holding his fork slips around my hip. I hear him talk about nonsense as we eat.
I suddenly feel his hand start to feel around my hips and legs as he normally does in the mornings. I know he won’t do much this morning as he slipped into my room last night.
I space out trying to ignore everything going on around me. Yes it’s hard but I know it could be worse because I at least have a roof over my head and I can still have food to eat.
As breakfast finishes I stand up and start to bring the dishes to the kitchen. Once all the dishes are in the sink I wash them. I have made a pretty amazing system for the dishes. Now I can have all the dishes washed, dried, and put away within the hour. As I finish the dishes I hear Olaf come into the room.
“Morning practice went terrible. None of them know what they are doing. I have coached them for years and yet still none of them can deliver a damn line.” Olaf loudly complains. He keeps going on and on about how he needs to fire his crew and whatnot but I just toon him out as I put the last of the dishes away.
He then comes over to me. I look up at him as he creepily looks down at me.” Why the fuck aren’t you listening brat, you know what I will do to you.”
“Yes Olaf.” I say as I look down at my folded hands trying not to show the fear and dread creeping up my spine.
“Good now I need to let off some steam so you're off of morning chores. Let’s head to my room.” Olaf calmly says.
“Yes Olaf.” I repeat as I feel dread wash to the front of my stomach. I can’t do this, not again. I’m so done with this. I miss my siblings. I miss my parents. How has it only been a year since I lost my life? And yet all I can do is walk to Count Olaf’s room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~1 Year later~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up mad. Last night was terrible. Olaf has been getting worse with his chores and everything else. He recently fired his crew and that has made him unbearable. He no longer has them to do his bidding for him. He now has to do things like go grocery shopping and all the small tasks he made them do that I can’t do.
I am so done. I can’t take this anymore. He won’t let me out to do anything anymore. I can’t invent and without all the cooking I did everyday I no longer have the fun I used to. He also makes me sleep in his room now and that means I don’t have any privacy to read or make plans to escape or hide or even invent.
The last month all my days have consisted of doing is chores and pleasing Olaf. My plans to escape his house have been morphing into plans of suicide. I really don’t think I can hold on any longer. I have no family, no friends, no life. I don’t even have the luxury of privacy anymore.(not that I have had much in the last couple years though.)
I think tomorrow morning is going to be my death date. Olaf will be out grocery shopping which normally takes a while as he has no idea what he is doing. I will have plenty of time to go to the top of the tower and jump. I remember Klaus reading a book of physics once. He was so happy about it that he didn’t stop talking about it for a week. I remember him talking about mass and velocity and how different situations and height affect the way something falls. If I remember the calculations correctly the top of Olaf’s tower should be tall enough for me to jump off and die.
I hear the door to the bathroom I’m cleaning open. Olaf walks in not even bothering to look down at me. “I’m bringing someone home tonight so you're sleeping in your old room in the attic.” I hear him say as he then slams the door shut.
That’s the first good news I have gotten in years! I can now go to my old room and spend my last night in peace!!!
As the day comes to a close I hear the doorbell ring and Olaf run down to get it. I then go to the attic to hide away for the rest of the night. I decide to first write letters with some paper I had stashed away under the floor boards. I don’t really have anyone to write to but I figure writing to my siblings and parents to explain why this is the ending I chose wouldn’t hurt.
“Dear Klaus…” that’s all I have written. This is harder than I thought. Klaus would have never let me do this. I know he would have escaped by now. I continue writing though.
“Dear Klaus… I know you won’t read this, but some part of me needs this closure. I hope you know I don’t want to go out this way. I want nothing more than to escape this hell and be out in the world. Maybe see all the places you wanted to go, but at this point I need to be reasonable with myself. I will never get out of here. If I stay on this Earth this will be my life forever. I can’t live with knowing that. Maybe in some other universe we would be together during this. Or maybe our plan would have worked and I wouldn’t be married to Olaf and he would be in jail rotting away somewhere. But no, our plan didn’t work and you're not here. I’m so sorry brother but I can’t do this anymore and I hope you understand that. I don’t know what will happen after I die but I hope I’m happy, and with you, and Sunny, and mom, and dad. I hope that we can see the world and grow up together even though now I’m two more years older than when you died. I don’t know how you died. I hope it was peaceful even though I know it wasn’t. I think you watched Sunny die. I’m really sorry I couldn’t save you guys. I love you all so much and that’s why I have to let go tomorrow morning. I hope to see you soon. -Love your big sister, Violet Baudelaire.”
As I finish writing the last of the letter I feel hot big tears run down my face. I wipe away the first tears I have shed since my siblings died. God why couldn’t things have worked out better. I wish we could have grown up together. All of us. I wish Mom and Dad never died in that house fire. I selfishly wish that even if you all did die I didn’t get married to Olaf. But who knows maybe we were always going to be doomed. Maybe no matter how long passed we were going to die alone. No parents, only us. Maybe in a different universe though Sunny and Klaus would be here. We could get through this together. No matter what my inventions mixed with Klaus's brain and Sunny’s biting we would survive. Or at least we wouldn’t still be here in Olaf's house.
I let these thoughts lull me to sleep. It’s a surprisingly peaceful sleep. I have no night terrors and I don’t wake up at all through the night. I wake up later than I normally do. Olaf is already at the store. He only left 20 minutes ago though. He should be out for another 60.
I slowly get up taking in the last of my life. I get up and get dressed into the dress I wore on the day that everything happened. I grab the letters and slip them into my dress pocket when I feel something else. It’s the ribbon I had in my hair the day before the wedding. I then go downstairs and go to a mirror. I do my hair with some rubber bands I found around the house. I tie the ribbon into my hair looking like how I used to for the first time since my siblings passed.
I then go to the kitchen and make myself a small breakfast of a single pancake with some strawberries on top and a couple carrots on the side. My siblings' favorites.
With the morning ending I decide to go to the roof. I go to the tower that Sunny was dropped off of. I’m surprised to find that there was nothing stopping me from walking to my doom. Although I guess that’s what the hench people were for and with them gone Olaf forgot to get anything to stop me from coming up here.
I walk closer and closer to the edge. As I get closer to my demise all I can think of is what could have been. What could have been if my sibling were here with me. What could have been if we were put with a different guardian. What could have happened if Poe was smart enough to realize that “closest relative” didn’t mean distance. What could have been if scenarios repeat in my head over and over again.
I look down the edge. I can feel the wind ripping at my face and hair. I take the letters out of my pocket and place them down, setting the sand timer down upside down letting the sand pass through. I stare at it as the time passes by. Quickly the sand is coming to an end. I step closer to the edge as the last grains of sand slip to the bottom half of the timer. I then step back facing the edge. I take my last look at the trees and grass as I take my last breath.
I then step off the edge. As I’m falling I can feel my eyes slip shut.
A million memories come to my mind. They're like flashes and I can’t tell if they're all my memories. Some I recognize but some I don’t. I recognize little Klaus and Sunny but I see them older in some flashes too. But never older than maybe a year older than I am now. In every memory or maybe in every life none of us live very long. Sunny dies as a baby or toddler. Klaus dies as a child or a preteen. And I always die as a child or young teen.
It almost feels good to know that we were always doomed. That no matter what I would have died young. It almost makes me feel better about committing.
In some flashes I see only me and my family but in others I see things I don’t recognize like other people I never met. I see kids in red uniforms and different adults. There’s this kid that sticks out like the others don’t. In some flashes he is in a red uniform, in one he is underground in a building that looks like it burned, in one he’s in a hot air balloon looking down at me with a girl next to him, and in another we look like we’re sitting on a frozen waterfall. In one it looks like he’s standing on the very tower I jumped off of crying.
I can’t make much out but soon the brightest flash of light comes and I feel like I’m transported but then it all goes black and I can’t feel anything for a long time. Slowly I can feel my eyes opening, but they hurt and I don’t know where I am.
As my eyes adjust I can make out the outline of my family. They look far away from me but I will do anything to get to them.