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The room is save, you tell yourself. You´re in the Stark tower, in your private rooms you share with Steve. You know this room, have checked it more than once for any possible dangers. You know where you placed your weapons, knifes and pistols under the table, in the nightstand, beneath the mattress of your king-sized bed, and you know the escape routes, you would survive the jump through the window as well as you could easily run to the nearest stairwell if you needed to flee.
You nearly jump when you feel a hand on your shoulder but you remember soon enough that it is only Steve who is touching you, your Steve. You calm yourself down, preventing your instincts to kick in and hurt him. He´s with you, you´re not alone, not anymore. He is with you and the other Avengers too. And they are quite capable of fighting, protecting each other by all costs. You are now one of them, a part of a whole not a weapon to kill when needed and to torture when not.
Even though Steve´s staying silent, giving you time to find your way back to the present, to him, you can see the concern in his blue eyes, he worries about you. He opens his mouth when your gaze focus on him, probably wanting to ask if you´re alright or if you want to end what you had planned before you even started but you stop him with the most effective way you know, pressing your lips against his.
He breaks the kiss fast and looks into your eyes, searching for any sign of discomfort but you are determined to not let your memories and issues ruin this evening. "I want this." you reassure him while you´re guiding him to the bed by the hand. He gives in, still a bit hesitant but not wanting to talk you out of it anymore. You kiss again, slowly undressing each other, touching, worshipping the body of the other man. Your hands wander from his broad shoulders over his chest and hard abs down and around to cup his ass, squeezing and making him moan. His body is so different now than before the serum and even though you had always loved Steve no matter how small he had been, you appreciate his new form and the fact that you don´t have to hold yourself back in fear of breaking him. Well, technically your metal arm would be able to break his bones but you gained control over it, no longer crushing something with it when you were distracted by your thoughts and he can handle you when you get too lost in your flashbacks, knows how to bring you back and comfort you.
You kneel on the bed together, kissing all the time, touching, skin on skin and metal. You love it to be touched, gently, caressing, warmth spreading in your body, thawing your frozen nerves, soothing the pain in your aching bones. You lean into this much needed contact, drowning in the love that Steve can give you, so much but never enough to still your 70 year old thirst.
You don´t recognize how the door opens and your guests come in, too occupied by showing Steve how much you love him, trying to give him back what he offers you. When you turn your head to give your Captain more room while he kisses your neck, you see them, the big blonde behind the slender form of his lover. You tense slightly, abruptly becoming aware of your nakedness and the position you´re in.
"We don´t have to do it." Steve whispers in your ear while Thor and Loki just stand there, watching you and lowly talking. You breath in, breath out. It had been Thor´s idea, to be together, Steve and you, Loki and him. Steve had acted offended, telling that he wouldn´t want to do it but you still knew him better than anyone else. You had seen the spark in his eyes, clearly aroused by the fact to watch the gods and being watched by them. It was something the old Bucky would have done and you wanted to try and bring some of your lost personality back. Also, you had liked Thor from the beginning, his open-hearted and downright kind and gentle behavior had been a greater help for you to adjust than the reserved and wary demeanor of the others. He had never said a word about your strange acting, your nervousness or the way you jump when there are sudden movements or loud noises. Maybe because he knows how to handle trauma patients, you had noticed some inconsistencies on Loki too, even though he is much better at hiding them than you, putting on a mask of sarcasm and false indifference whenever he got that haunted look in his eyes. You don´t know what happened to him, it´s none of your business but, no matter what you have heard from the others about Loki, you trust him. Some kind of shared psychological trauma or simply his personality, you don´t know why you like him and you don´t really care, trust, kindness, love and friendship too rare for you to question it. And you can´t deny that the gods were very attractive, it would be worth watching.
You shake your head no, whispering back to Steve "I want it.", kissing him again when he looks at you again with concern. It´s strange to have someone else in the room while making out with the blonde but you feel save, calm. And aroused, which can be clearly seen by the way your cock hangs heavy between your slightly spread legs. You´re still kneeling, your legs getting tingly from the position so you lay back, pulling Steve down with you. "You´re beautiful. Perfect." your Captain mumbles against your skin, peppering it with soft kisses, softly nipping at your nipples, biting and licking them. He´s getting lower slowly, getting closer to where you want him the most. Your moan when he takes you in his mouth without hesitation is doubled by Loki´s own moan, you haven´t paid much attention to them since they entered the room, too distracted by Steve´s way of worshipping your body but when you take a fast look on them, you see the pale bare chest of the dark haired man, his brother mouthing on his neck. Brothers, it was strange for you at first but then you learned that Loki was adopted and that in their own world, the one which you would like to see sometime, incestuous relationships weren´t banned.
The hot mouth around your dick makes you writhing on the bed, metal hand clenching the sheets. Steve is so good with his mouth, knowing how to tease you with his tongue pressing against the underside of your shaft, bobbing his head up and down and suckling at the tip. From the corner of your eye you see how Loki´s pants fall to the ground, his body now fully exposed to the room and your lingering gaze. You take in the sight of him, his eyes closed, head leaned back against Thor´s shoulder, pale skin with hand shaped bruises and dark hickeys spread over it. Your hips buck up, involuntarily, pressing your dick further into Steve's mouth, making him gag a bit, at the sight of the marked body. Your gaze lingers on the hard cock of the god of mischief, beautifully curved, much darker than the rest of his skin, not as wide as Steve´s but slightly longer.
His hips thrust forward suddenly, his cock bobbing obscenly up and down. You look up, greeted by a sly smirk on Loki´s lips. You feel yourself blush, looking away fast. Even though you all agreed to this, you feel like Peeping Tom. It embaress you to see them like this as well as it arouses you at the same time more than you would like to admit. Steve is doing his best to bring you to orgasm, you´re already on the edge due to his tongoue talent. You barely feel the finger that slips in at the same time as your come floods your lovers mouth, he swallows beautifully around you, taking everything you got.
"You´re perfect, Buck." Steve is up again, mouthing against your sensitive neck, his body pressed against yours so you can feel his hard length against your thigh while he fingers you open. Right after an orgasm, you´re always the most relaxed, making stretching easier. Unable to form coherent sentences, you don´t reply to Steve, instead you kiss him, tasting yourself and him at the same time and loving it. You love kissing him, his lips so soft against yours, sometimes you kiss for hours, just to be near each other, thinking about nothing, being together after so many years of being apart...tortured...frozen...wiped.
"Stay with me Buck. Stay here." Steve has learned to read the signs, your body tenses when you drift away to those evil thoughts, he knows it by now and he can bring you back with just a few words, one kiss. His kisses and touches ground you, keeping away your demons and giving you strength to fight them when you´re alone. You nod, smiling, reassuring your lover, your bastion of calm, that you´re still with him and that you want to continue. He moves his fingers inside you again, he must have inserted a second one without you noticing it. You can´t stop moaning when he hits your sweet spot inside you and at the same time bites softly into your right nipple. They are so sensitive, on good days, you get hard with only a little nipple sucking and biting. Your back arches off the bed, your cock already hard again and leaking, adding more precome to the mess on your stomach.
You breath heavy, trying to relax when you feel a third finger nudge against your entrance. Steve always takes his time with preparing you, knowing that even when your mind knows you´re save, your body sometimes reacts different, alerted in fear of hurt even with the lightest of touches. But you slowly learn to control your thoughts and reactions, adjusting to your new life by accepting your old one. And you have noticed, that you´re not the only one who has problems, mental illnesses were way more socially accepted and treatable than back in the forties. Celebrities talk about their depressions, nearly everybody in NY goes to see a psychiatrist and the Avengers, your friends, aren´t free of problems neither.
Clint and Natasha cling to each other, not used to a surrounding that is not trying to kill them and where they can be themselves without constantly playing a role or listening to commands. The bags under Tony´s eyes witnesses of his sleepless nights, trying to escape his nightmares and drowning his anxiety in whatever alcohol is available. Bruce, one of the most kind hearted and loyal man you have ever met, is too afraid about hurting someone so he keeps himself confined, shut away. Steve has a lot to deal with too, memories of the war, the strangeness of the 21. Century, knowing that everybody he had ever known is dead by now...except for his traumatized boyfriend.
And then, there is Loki. Loki who acts mouthy, arrogant, condescending, cruel, deceitful. Loki who is intelligent, caring, vulnerable and lonely....... but too afraid to show it, too often hurt and abandoned so he hides behind his mask of indifference and spitefulness. Thor seems to be the only one who sees the true self of his brother, giving him the love and attention he longs for. It´s simply beautiful to see them like this, together, trusting and loving, knowing each other.
You have trifted away, not realizing that Steve has finished your preparation, maybe you were loose enough so fast because you haven´t focused on relaxing. You suddenly come back to full attention when you feel Steve moving on top of you, placing himself between your spread legs, the blunt tip of his cock already breaching your hole. You tense involuntarily, holding in your breath. The first push in is always the hardest for you, you know that it will be good, damn good, after a few thrust but you expect pain with the first thrusts and even though there is none, not really, your body´s going rigid, fighting the intrusion, betraying your mind.
"Bucky, it´s alright. Let go. I´ve got you. You know how to do it. You can stop if you want, just one word and I´ll stop. You´re alright?" Steve´s mumbling, to low for the two asgardians to hear. You nod, you´re alright, it´s always the same, it annoys you because you know that Steve would never hurt you but you can´t help it, your body conditioned on feeling pain every time someone's gets too close. He´s so patient with you, he is the perfect one, not you.
You let your hands wander over the broad, muscled chest in front of you, distracting yourself from the heavy weight of Steve´s full length inside of you, encouraging him to move with a passionate kiss and a squeeze of your thighs. He doesn´t have to wait as long as he had to when you started with having sex after you reunited. You´re still not used to being penetrated but at least you get used to it, learning how to breath and move to make it feel good again.
He moves slowly, the way eased by a lot of slippery lube (what a blessing of modern days!), you can feel him inside of you, hard and heavy, your internal walls shifting to make room for him, he´s pressing at the right spots, unmoving after he is fully sheathed inside of you, to give you the time you need. Your bodies slot together like they were made for each other, skin on skin, muscles pressing against muscles, lips moving synchronized, breath shared. When he starts to move, it´s perfect. No pain, the stretching just right, making you feel whole and oh so good. You moan, completely forgetting about the other two men in the room, solely concentrating on the feelings, so different than all the hurt and humiliation you had to endure the past years.
Heat is building in your gut, spreading through the rest of your body, even your prosthesis feels more like a part of you when you´re like this than it normally does. The thrust are getting harder, hitting your prostate, you both moan between kisses. Steve knows how to play your body, to bring you to the edge without pushing over, just keeping you there for what feels like ages. You feel his balls slapping against your ass as he speeds up, losing control enough to do so, his cock pressing in as deep as it can go with every powerful thrust of his hips, pushing out some of the lube. When you clench your muscles just right around him, you elect the sweetest of moans from him, driving him insane. But he knows your dirty tricks by now and grabs your cock, hard but not too hard, just right, stroking up and down, not in unison with his thrusts because you like it better this way and he knows. Precome makes it slick, your dick pulsing in his hand while he fucks you deep and good, perfect. He only needs a few strokes before you shout and shoot your load between your stomachs, hot and sticky.
Steve keeps moving in your now limp body, telling you over and over again how perfect you are. You believe him, for now. He stills in you when he comes, spilling deep inside, making you feel even fuller. He stays in you, laying on top of you, getting soft slowly while you keep kissing, lazily, sated for now. You hear moans again and then it hits you that you´re not alone, the two gods are still there, totally forgotten by you and Steve. He pulls out of you, come tickling out too, your handlers always kept you clean, everywhere and some handlers punished you when you got yourself dirty with mud or the blood of your enemies. Being dirty now feels good, breaking the rules you never wanted to follow, making you feel free.
Steve turns you on your side, pressing himself flush behind you. You now have both a perfect view of Loki riding his lover, his legs spread wide over Thor´s knees, cock hard and shiny with precome. They don´t seem to notice you, lost in their own little world of sex, lust and love.
Steve strokes your belly, rubbing in the come on your skin, playing with it before making the mess even bigger. You let him, he loves to see you coated in come, preferably his, but your own is good too.
Sometimes, often, he pulls out of you to paint you in white streaks, covering your face, back, thighs or abdomen and chest, whatever he thinks needs to be marked. You don´t object, bruises and hickeys never last long on neither of your enhanced bodies so this is your way to show you belong to each other.
The moaning from the god´s gets louder as Thor wraps his hand around his brothers cock and you have to admit, seeing them like this is even better than you imagined and you enjoyed being on display yourself more than you thought. Loki is bouncing on Thor´s fat cock and you can´t stop yourself from thinking how he would feel inside you. You wouldn´t betray Steve but thinking about doesn´t say you would ever try to find out. If it weren´t for the two orgsams you already had, the sight would be enough to let your cock harden but right now it´s limp, you´re sated for the moment, too sleepy and comfortable with Steve´s warm form behind you to get aroused again so fast.
Loki is beautiful when he comes, going stiff in his brothers arms who fucks into the dark haired man another few times, biting down on the neck of the other man hard enough to draw blood and then coming too, deep inside Loki´s body. They stay connected, Loki already half asleep and slightly nodding to something Thor whispers in his ear. Loki´s legs are still spread wide, come slowly dripping out of him even though Thor´s cock is still plugging him up.
"Rest sweetheart. You need it." You don´t respond to Steve´s caring words verbally, just snuggling more into his embrace and deciding that he is right, you drift into a peaceful sleep, knowing that you´re surrounded by friends, safe and loved.