Chapter Text
Frank felt like he spent his life overcompensating.
He knew he didn't have it bad. His parents had raised him well, he felt very loved, he'd had a good childhood. His difference was noted, but celebrated. He remembered a kids book he'd been read a lot as a child with a male omega as the protagonist, overcoming all hurdles and proving he was no different to any of the other boys. And Frank did believe it, mostly.
It was a little harder at college. He'd dreamed of becoming a doctor since he was young, so he knew medical school was in his future. But his undergrad could be a little freer, it didn't matter as much. He could enjoy himself, before he knuckled down. He joined athletics teams, ran, went to frat parties and even considered joining one. It was only when he heard from some sorority girls at a party about how bad the hazing was for male omegas, how differently they were treated since they were so rare, that he decided he was not going to join one. He could read between the lines, and he didn't fancy becoming the bitch of a frat house, doling out sexual favours to the seniors.
Despite this, he had an active social life, and a lot of friends. That was when he really started to focus on working out too. He'd always been uncharacteristically tall for an omega, and he liked how his body looked when he built on some muscle. He realised how much more comfortable his life was when people assumed he was a beta, he'd even been mistaken for an alpha once or twice, that was a doozy. So he kept it up, always wearing loose gym shorts when he worked out, and changing in private cubicles. Sure, when someone got close enough to smell him, he was too sweet to be anything but an omega, but from a distance they wouldn't know.
He liked the line of ambiguity he walked. He didn't shout about his designation, but he also didn't really hide it.
He met Abby in his third year of med school. She was training to be a lawyer, and they were introduced by mutual friends at some bar in the city. They hit it off right away, and he took her home that night. She was smart as a whip, she knew exactly what he was, and fucked him so good he didn't let her go. Together they became the ultimate power couple of their friend group, and Frank loved it. He knew they looked good together, she was blonde and tall and stunning, had a strong personality and took absolutely no prisoners. This was the life Frank wanted. He wanted to be an emergency medicine doctor at the top of his game, he wanted a beautiful wife and a family and the perfect white picket fence life. He wanted people to look at him and be jealous of who he was and what he had.
Frank married Abby when he was an MS4 and he found out he was pregnant in his intern year. It had been tough, reconciling having to put his career on pause to have a kid, this definitely hadn't been planned. But they wanted a family, they could work with the timing, Abby was earning enough to support them. And logistically, they discussed that they wanted two, close in age. So he had their second, a younger sister to little Tanner, before he returned to his training as a doctor. One career break would be easier than two.
He started at PTMC as an R1 and knew he'd found his place. Frank settled in quickly, forming a bond with Heather Collins particularly. They ribbed off each other, Frank running his mouth at every opportunity, but they were friends. She was competent as hell, she was a good teacher, she was funny, she was kind. He got close to plenty of other folks too, like charge nurse Dana. A stubborn beta with a heart of gold, who treated Frank like he was some unruly kid. He played up into it, and loved the relationship they developed. They never stopped smiling around each other.
Robby was… different.
From the first day, Frank had been desperate to impress him. He knew he was good, and he was determined to prove it. He wanted the approval from the man he began to look up to so much. An incredibly successful and competent doctor, confident in his own skills and abilities, people didn't question him. Frank wanted to be like that one day. Sure, that confidence was probably partly because Robby was the most alpha alpha Frank had ever met, but he tried not to let himself dwell on that too much.
Robby didn't keep his hands to himself. He was tactile in his teaching methods, always hovering and ready to steady Frank's hand when he guided him through a new procedure. A clap on his shoulder, a squeeze on his arm. A hug, once, when Frank lost a particularly difficult patient and was cut up about it after. Between the touching, and the verbal praise, it really shouldn't have come as a surprise when Frank realised he had a crush.
It hit him like a freight train in the middle of the night one sleep between shifts, when he was lying next to Abby. He was wide awake as she slept, just staring up at their ceiling. He had been running through the events of the day, mind working over the moment he and Robby had shared in an empty exam room after a sepsis patient was wheeled off upstairs.
Frank had caught it before anyone else had, called Robby straight in. The attending confirmed it, surgery was paged, the patient and the nurses disappearing and leaving Frank alone with Robby. He was breathing hard, and his gaze slid from the door to where Robby was standing. He watched the alpha snap off his gloves, the crack of it cutting through the now quiet room.
"Really good work, Langdon," Robby moved to stand beside him, clapping an encouraging hand on his shoulder. He didn't let go, squeezing the flesh firmly, his thumb straying to brush Frank's neck.
He had an inch or two of height on Robby, but that didn't seem to matter, he felt smaller. "Thanks. I'd say it was a fluke, but I've got more faith in my own abilities than that."
Robby's lips quirked, and his eyes were warm and fond. "You're a good boy, aren't you?"
Frank stilled, the words washing over him like a flood of warmth. His scent got stronger, he could even smell it, pumping out in response to Robby's words, his touch. An uncontrollable biological response, trying to draw the alpha in. Robby's eyebrows raised a little, he'd noticed. He didn't pull away though, his thumb rubbing over Frank's skin, up his neck, until he found his scent glands. He circled gently, stimulating them, encouraging more of his scent to spike. Robby's was too, Frank's nostrils filled with warm spices and sandalwood over the lingering scent of blood and hospital in the room. Frank stared at him, eyes wide, lips a little parted.
Robby's thumb kept pressing, stimulating, until the moment came to a screeching halt. He brushed over Frank's bond bite, the scar old and healed now, but there nonetheless. A physical reminder of Frank's status of belonging to another alpha.
Robby couldn't jerk his hand away quick enough. He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck and looking anywhere but at Frank. "Clean up, then pick a new patient," he told him, before striding out of the room before Frank could say another word. He'd had to go to the bathroom and shove toilet paper in his boxers to try and soak up the damn slick.
Now, Frank was lying in bed next to his wife, his bonded alpha, thinking about another. Their kids were asleep in their rooms down the hall. He felt sick, but that didn't stop the arousal swirling in his gut.
Frank made it a point not to hide what he was at work. Would it make things easier if he did? Yeah, sure. But that wasn't the point. Sometimes his pride swelled, desperate to prove that despite whatever odds were stacked against him, he was a fucking good doctor.
Sometimes it bit him in the ass, though.
He was working on a patient, brought in by the police on a psych hold. Interesting case - the kind Frank jumped at the chance to take. Could be anything, and he loved the chance to get to work out a tricky diagnosis, he could show off about it to the other residents later.
The patient was in one of the behavioural rooms, pacing and a little agitated. The cops who'd brought him in were standing outside the door talking to Ahmad, and Langdon nodded at them as he stepped past and went into the room. The man was muttering to himself, and looked up as Frank came in.
"Sir, I'm Dr. Langdon, I need to examine you." Keep it clear, concise, no room for argument.
He approached the man calmly, noting the sweating, the dilation of his pupils. High on something?
"I can smell you," the man hissed. "What are you?"
Frank paused, swallowing as he worked out his next move. This was fine. He raised his hands, professional and placating. "Let's focus on why you're here today, I just want to help."
"You're trying to trick me. You're trying to seduce me. Omegas are dirty liars."
Okay, so, not friendly.
"My designation has no bearing on my ability to treat you, sir," Frank said, not for the first time in his career. "I'm a doctor, I'm here to treat you."
Frank tried to approach, which was his main mistake. The man lurched at him, hands wrapping round Frank's neck. He was fucking strong, must have been an alpha, but Frank could hold his own. The man slammed him back against the window of the room, as Frank gripped his forearms and tried to push him off. He could feel his nails digging into his neck, right near his scent glands, his bond, a sick feeling making his stomach drop.
"I can get it out of you," the man spat as his grip tightened, like he was trying to rip into the skin of Frank's neck with his nails. He managed to raise his leg and dig his knee into the man's stomach, right as Ahmad and the cops rushed in and dragged the man off him.
Frank doubled over, one hand on the wall to brace himself as he tried to catch his breath. He was vaguely aware of the patient being restrained and sedated by the backup who had rushed in, and maybe people were talking to him, but he was focusing on trying to assess his own injuries.
Bruised throat. Trouble breathing? No, airways okay. Concussion, probably. Wetness on his fingers, blood, scratches on his neck. Deep? Infection risk, fuck. Psychological trauma from injury to the mating area?
"Langdon? Langdon? Frank?"
He finally snapped out of it, lifting his head to look at Robby. He'd burst through the door, wild-eyed, frantic concern written on his face.
"I'm fine, I'm fine." Frank was wheezing, barely able to get the words out without coughing.
"You're not fine, Jesus, Frank, you're not fine. Come on."
Robby didn't give him any more choice, manhandling him carefully out of the room. Dana directed them to an empty patient room, now Frank's. Robby snapped on a pair of gloves, Frank looking up at him as he sat down heavily on the bed. Now they were in a small, enclosed room, Frank noticed his own scent, spiked with fear and pain. Acrid and bitter.
"You're treating me?"
Robby raised his eyebrows. "Oh, is the attending not good enough?" There was half a joke in there, like he was trying to lighten the mood.
"It's not that," Frank wheezed, and Robby shook his head.
"Rest your voice, Ahmad will want a statement at some point."
Frank was more than happy to do just that. He was trying not to feel too mortified about this whole ordeal, being on this side of the exam. This had only happened because he was an omega, and he hadn't been able to fight him off effectively enough. Not to mention the damage to his neck. He felt vulnerable and shaky, even as he did his best to project anything but. His scent didn't lie though, and Robby kept giving him worried looks every few seconds.
"Any neck pain? Can you move everything?" Frank cautiously twisted his neck, giving Robby the affirmative. "CT for the neck and the head anyway," Robby said, not needing to go into much more detail since he was treating another physician. "And these scratches need cleaning. Hope you're up to date on your shots."
Robby began to clean the wounds on his neck, irrigating with saline and wiping as gently as he could. Frank was lying on the bed with his head turned to the side, and he was glad for it, so Robby couldn't see the tears gathering in his eyes. The injury to his bond bite had hit him so much more than he'd expected. At least it was Robby cleaning it, he wasn't sure he'd have let anyone else come close. But he trusted Robby, his hands on his neck felt safe. It felt right.
"They aren't deep," Robby said softly. "Bandaging should be fine, keep an eye out for infection though."
Frank shoved down the urge to say I know, just letting Robby take care of him.
Robby prodded gently at the skin around the scratches. "No permanent damage to the scent glands, I think, shouldn't affect production." He finished up, taking off his gloves and just looking at Frank for a moment. "Are you okay?"
Frank turned his head to look at him, nodding. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." His voice was hoarse, and he knew it would be for days. Thank fuck his airways were okay. "How long's the CT line?"
"I'll bump you up."
Robby's gaze stuck on the bandage on his neck, and Frank was wondering if he was thinking what he was. The same spot Robby had his hand a few weeks ago, the moment that changed everything for Frank. Had it changed everything for Robby too?
Or had this fucked things up? Frank couldn't help the shame that crept in, he didn't want to be seen as vulnerable or weak. And he hadn't even been able to fight off his attacker properly, not before getting hurt himself. He worked so hard to appear strong, capable, and what if it was shattered?
Robby leaned in, looking like he was about to say something, when a tech popped his head in round the door. "They're ready for you in CT."
Robby's jaw worked, like he was swallowing what he was going to say, the interruption seeming to be a relief. "Great. I'll come see you when your results are back."
Frank sighed and lay back on the bed, closing his eyes and content to just let everything happen around him.
Since Frank's attack, Robby had been hovering.
Constantly finding excuses to come back to his room, check in on his chart, and it was kinda driving Frank insane. Eventually he got the all clear to go home, right around shift change. Robby came in with his backpack slung over his shoulder, empty thermos in hand.
"CT's clear, just a very mild concussion," he said, tapping his badge into the computer to process the discharge. "But I don't want you driving home, I'll give you a ride."
Frank sat up, shaking his head. "Robby, I'm fine, you've done so much for me already, it's all good."
Robby held his hand up, not even looking at Frank. "I have to go grocery shopping anyway, you're basically on my way."
That was bullshit, but Frank was too exhausted to argue any more.
He'd only been in Robby's car once or twice, for reasons Frank couldn't even remember. So this was fine, he'd done it before. But the proximity felt different now. Loaded, charged. Frank just really fucking hoped it was one sided, that Robby wasn't feeling it too. That would make things… even harder.
They didn't speak much in the car, Robby's radio playing some sort of soft rock in the background. He'd turned it down as soon as they shut the door, it had clearly been louder on his ride in. Frank appreciated the concern over his head.
He could feel Robby's eyes on him, glancing at him at every traffic light. In contrast, he was resolutely staring out the window, his fingers gently playing with the edge of the bandage on his neck. He couldn't stop touching it, knowing it was probably some kind of self soothing, but whatever. He was allowed, after the goddamn day he'd had.
It was Robby that broke the silence, which almost surprised Frank. "Are you okay?"
Frank raised an eyebrow. "You did my chart." His voice was still a little hoarse, but it didn't hurt as much to speak any more.
"I didn't mean physically."
Right. Frank exhaled slowly, looking away again. "I'm fine."
"You don't have to blow me off like that, don't have to pretend with me," Robby told him, voice warm. Logically, Frank knew he was pushing some of that alpha soothing nature into his tone, but knowing that didn't stop it from working.
"I'm just…" Frank could feel the walls he kept up start to crack. "It was violating, what happened. Where it happened." He gestured vaguely at the bandage on his neck.
Robby pulled over a few seconds later, turning to face him once the car was in park. It was dark, Robby's face only faintly illuminated by the streetlight over the road.
"I keep feeling his hands on me," Frank continued, feeling a little queasy. "On my neck. Where Abby-"
"I know," Robby said quietly. "I should have been there."
Frank huffed a humourless laugh. "You can't be everywhere at once. It's not your responsibility to protect me."
"Maybe not. But I want to anyway."
The admission hung between them. Frank stared at Robby's profile as he looked determinedly out the windshield. This felt dangerous.
"What else do you want?" Frank asked, voice barely above a whisper.
Robby's expression twisted into something that might have been a smile if it wasn't so pained. "Shut up, Langdon."
Frank had never shut up in his life. "You think you can't have what you want."
"I can't."
"Yeah, you can."
All the air had been sucked out of the car. Robby finally looked at him, in his usual expressive way. Frank wasn't sure which one of them leaned in first, he thought it could have been him. But he couldn't resist, what else could he do? He'd been thinking about kissing Robby for weeks now, and he wanted it too, they were alone and it was quiet.
Their lips met, and the world didn't end. It did however feel like it shifted on its axis. Frank leaned in closer, deepening the kiss, chasing more.
"We can't."
"I know."
Neither of them pulled away. They kissed again, harder this time, despite the whispered words. Or maybe even because of them. Robby's hand lifted to rest on the side of his neck that wasn't bandaged, causing Frank to lean in closer, desperate. He wanted more, he never wanted to stop kissing him, how was he supposed to go about his life now he knew how this felt?
Frank's phone rang, cutting through the moment and causing both men to start. He looked down at where it was resting on his thigh, seeing Abby's name and a picture of her flash up. His stomach dropped, and Robby pulled away like he'd been burned.
"Hey," Frank said when he picked up the phone, heart hammering in his chest. "Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. On my way home now, actually."
Beside him, Robby ran a hand through his hair and put the car into drive, returning the journey to Frank's.
"Yeah, I'm staying off work tomorrow… uh huh. Thanks baby, see you soon."
After he hung up, the silence in the car was painful. Neither of them could bring themselves to speak, to acknowledge what had happened. Even as they pulled up at Frank's house (his family home), neither said a thing. Frank got out right as Robby pulled up, seatbelt off before he'd even stopped. He needed to just… go inside. See his wife, his kids.
See if he could sleep without replaying the memory of Robby's kiss over and over in his head.
Frank didn't look back at the car. He couldn't.