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Zanka would lie if he said he wasn't nervous.
As if the nervousness had become a part of himself, something inseparable from him. He should get used to this; he should be able to overcome all the jitters, and yet, he still couldn't.
Not when Enjin constantly puts him in a surprising position like this.
Which shouldn't be surprising at this point, but Zanka is still surprised anyway.
Everything began on a very fine afternoon after they had just finished a mission.
They were just leisurely hanging out around the Mess Hall, Rudo and Riyo were busy doing some game with the Child Team. Zanka was having enough fill of their shenanigans, so, instead of joining, he chose to retreat to the couch to enjoy his tea. He would probably welcome an intrusion from the Supporter, usually Tomme, and her need to revise her notebook or something.
But right now, it was only him and his hot cup of tea.
Until Enjin slid into the empty spot next to him.
"Man, I'm beat," he said, casually leaning to Zanka's shoulder, unaware that the younger one literally froze at his sudden appearance.
He was sure he had just seen Enjin with Gris and Bro on their usual table, probably playing poker or something.
How come Enjin transport himself to his side out of nowhere like this?
He, however, didn't have to ask, because Enjin revealed his real intention sooner than he had expected.
"Hey, Zanka," he could feel Enjin shift on his seat, seemingly getting closer to him.
Zanka held his breath.
"You know, we've been getting assigned mission after mission lately?"
Zanka managed to nod.
He didn't expect Enjin to suddenly sling his arm around his shoulder, half-whispering, "Rudo had just told me about this interesting Spherite's celebration, you know."
He pretended he was calm enough to sip his tea and asked, in the most casual way. "What kind of celebration?"
"Love," Enjin sighed. It might be Zanka's own imagination, but did Enjin slightly squeeze his shoulder at the word?
"Apparently, people up there celebrate love," Zanka didn't have to look his way to know the man rolled his eyes. "Rudo said that day is called Valentine's Day, when people exchange sweets, like chocolates, and also gifts. For their lovers."
At the mention of lovers, Zanka got a strong urge to blush, but he tried to control himself and thought he had done a pretty stellar job, until Enjin leaned closer.
"So," Enjin's breath was hot against the shell of his ear. "Wanna celebrate it?"
Zanka would lie if he said he wasn't nervous.
As if the nervousness had become a part of himself, something inseparable from him. He should get used to this; he should be able to overcome all the jitters, and yet, he still couldn't.
Not when Enjin constantly puts him in a surprising position like this.
Which shouldn't be surprising at this point, but Zanka is still surprised anyway.
When he remembered the moments that led them here, Zanka couldn't help but feel embarrassed, too.
The offer couldn't be more obvious, but the only thing that was obvious is apparently his stupidity.
The way Enjin didn't even drop a hint, and just went to the point, and Zanka still misunderstood things.
"Let's go somewhere out," Enjin grinned. And despite the nervousness chewing him alive, Zanka couldn't help feeling excited too.
"I don't have many nice clothes, though—" Zanka tried to respond casually.
Enjin eyed him up and down. Zanka fought the urge to cover himself. But after a quick scan, he ended up shrugging.
"We can wear those suits August made for the Doll Festival. It's pretty nice."
Zanka gulped down, hoping he'd done it subtly, because the idea of going out with Enjin while Enjin wore that suit—a waistcoat that hugged his body so very well, adorned with a jacket and a coat, like Enjin wasn't just a common cleaner but a high-society man; the thought alone was enough to send him into a panic attack.
Enjin, fortunately, was unaware of any of this.
"It's on the 14th, so we still have some time to prepare ourselves," Enjin said.
At the date, suddenly Zanka remembered something, "Eh, I thought Riyo and Rudo were assigned for a mission that day. They had been training for that specific day."
Enjin didn't look bothered.
"Oh yeah, the one that Corvus had specifically arranged for them, they're still going, teaming up with the Child Team under Bro's supervision."
What? Zanka hadn't heard this part.
"So, we're gonna leave them?" He didn't mean to, but he naturally frowned. It was unlike Enjin to leave out the rest of the team.
But to his surprise, Enjin glanced his way with something on his face, before he threw his head back and groaned.
Zanka was bewildered by the reaction.
"Zanka," Enjin huffed. "I never say anything about inviting other people."
Huh? Zanka's brain short-circuited when he heard the clarification. He could only blink.
Enjin chuckled, probably upon seeing Zanka's dumbness. "Surely, you should be familiar with the idea of going on a date with me by now?"
Surely I don't, and I don't think I ever will, Zanka wanted to scream, but all he could do was just open his mouth, only to clamp it shut.
"You're so cute," he heard Enjin tease him, but Zanka was too overwhelmed to retaliate.
Zanka would lie if he said he wasn't nervous.
As if the nervousness had become a part of himself, something inseparable from him. He should get used to this; he should be able to overcome all the jitters, and yet, he still couldn't.
Not when Enjin constantly puts him in a surprising position like this.
Which shouldn't be surprising at this point, but Zanka is still surprised anyway.
Especially when the man in question knocks on his door, appearing as the embodiment of the deathly, unavoidable attack.
It's one nice afternoon that Zanka has been dreading—not because he doesn't want it to arrive, but because he doesn't even know whether he can handle it once it's here.
And it turns out, his fear is valid.
Because when he opens his door to the sight of the suit he's so familiar with, he's done for.
Ever since Zanka saw the sight of Enjin in this perfectly tailored suit for the Doll Festival, he can never get rid of the image from his head.
August clearly had done an amazing job in taking notes of Enjin's measurements, because everything about the suit screams perfection. The way the waistcoat fits Enjin's muscled body, the way his blazer drapes on his shoulder and shapes his figure, the way the long coat heightens the charm that has always been there—if Enjin looks great in his usual baggy red shirt and usual coat before, Zanka genuinely doesn't know a word to describe how otherworldly beautiful Enjin is.
And now, the said man is standing before his eyes, and Zanka notices with horror that he is aware that his appearance has shifted Zanka's world.
"Hey," Enjin smiles, seemingly tame and friendly, but Zanka can tell there's an underlying amusement in it too.
"H-e-ey." Only one word, and Zanka stammers it out too.
Can he get more embarrassing than he already is?
Apparently, he can, because just one look and then Enjin tilts his head, his smile grows even wider.
"You look beautiful."
Zanka lets out an unrecognizable, strange sound at that, and for some reason, hides himself immediately behind the door as if he doesn't want Enjin to see him.
The older man raises his eyebrows at the weird response.
"You need a moment?"
Zanka actually doesn't. He has been ready to go for an hour. The only thing he's not ready for is meeting Enjin and acting normal about it.
Because it's Enjin, you know?
They have been in a relationship for a while now. Zanka should get used to Enjin acting like someone more than a friend, someone more than a mentor, someone's more—shit, even the thought of Enjin being his boyfriend can send Zanka straight into Eishia's care.
Because it's Enjin, you know?
After a messy love confession, how they almost ruined a long run of a relationship so that they could elevate to the next level of the relationship—everything always feels new to Zanka.
He doesn't hate it.
In fact, Zanka loves it too much. Sometimes, he's worried that if he's too happy, everything will just collapse.
"Uh, you too," Zanka forces himself to speak, even if the flustering on his cheeks is so close as to render him speechless. "I mean, you also look very handsome."
Enji chuckles at that before leaning in, a playful smirk on his lips. "Am I?"
Zanka steps back, face burning because Enjin is too close.
"Y-yeah," he clears his throat, before he does the most logical thing, diffusing the situation by changing the subject—or in much simpler terms: running away. "I just need to get something first, would you please wait?"
"No worries," Enjin straightens his body, grinning.
Zanka turns on his heels. "Won't be long."
While it serves as an easy out for Zanka to steady his heartbeat, he actually has something to do next that keeps messing up his effort.
Valentine's Day.
Zanka had done his own research. If by research means bribing Rudo to talk with a bunch of sweet treats, then yes, Zanka had done his research.
He initially was afraid, Rudo could tell he fished out information, but when he was presented with food, the boy could only think of them, while everything came second to him, including Zanka's curiosity.
There's not much information from anything that he already knew from Enjin. But from him, Zanka knows that apparently, the heart and the color pink are often associated with the celebration. Rudo also said that Valentine's Day is one of the most consumerist days, because there will be a lot of trash on that day, just because people want to join the hype.
"You won't believe how many chocolates I can salvage from the trash. All still intact, those unopened presents," Rudo sighed as if he reminisced about the past.
And that's why Zanka keeps pacing in his room, contemplating too much; he doesn't realize it's time for Enjin to fetch him for their evening out.
He tries to not look over his shoulder when he inches toward his cabinet.
There, he has stored a small gift for Enjin, which he gets with the help of Tomme. He's glad that even if Tomme is snoopy about everything for her note, she actually doesn't ask any questions when Zanka asks her to help him get this particular present. He must be so obvious, but Tomme kindly doesn't point that out.
Now the same gift slid behind his back, ready to be given to the person who had been waiting in the doorway.
Zanka gulps down.
Get it together, it's just Enjin, he scolds himself for being so nervous.
As if the nervousness had become a part of himself, something inseparable from him. He should get used to this; he should be able to overcome all the jitters, and yet, he still couldn't.
Not when he goes back to the door, Enjin lights up like he knows Zanka hides something.
—too.
Huh?
"Delmon helps me with this," Enjin starts. But before Zanka can ask what Delmon has to do with anything, Enjin pulls out a huge bouquet of flowers from behind his back.
Zanka drops his mouth.
It is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. He isn't familiar with the flowers of any kind, he can't probably name more than three—but it doesn't matter now.
The bouquet is… nothing like Zanka has ever dreamed of seeing.
When Zanka says it's huge, it's really huge—like an armful-sized bouquet.
That alone tells him that Enjin is serious about getting him the flowers. They are all red, bundled in a soft pink paper wrapper. It's the only flower that Zanka can name because he's familiar with the sight.
Roses. Dozens of beautiful red roses.
The flowers are different from the ones Rudo gets him as a get-well gift. This bouquet has a nice fragrance; each petal gives him something lovely to smell. Zanka unconsciously leans down to inhale.
It doesn't just look good, it smells really good too.
"These might be imitation flowers, but they're just as real as the meaning they carry," Enjin presents the bouquet. Only then does Zanka notice there's a small card attached in the center of it. Zanka reaches for the bouquet with his right hand.
"Honestly, I can't believe I get to call you mine. I blinked, and suddenly, I had a Valentine," the card read.
Zanka can feel his face warmed, but not only that, but it's also something inside his chest.
"I have something for you too," Zanka forces himself to speak, his voice slightly wavering at the overwhelming emotions that suddenly strike.
"Oh?" Enjin seems pleased, and he looks like he's about to tease Zanka, until Zanka reveals the gift he has also been hiding behind his back. Zanka doesn't know what Enjin looks like because he immediately looks away while he hands him the gift.
"Zanka, thank you." Enjin's voice seems restrained, like he holds something back, too.
At the recognizable change, Zanka shifts his eyes back to Enjin, only to see Enjin pocketing the gift in his long coat. The rectangular box is clearly too big, for it still sticks out. The sight of it makes Zanka torn between happiness and embarrassment. He's glad he doesn't have enough galla to buy the heart-shaped one, and he's hesitating a lot because he's afraid of being too much and ends up overdoing things, because how embarrassing can it get if Enjin carries such a box?
With Umbreaker in his left hand, Enjin opens his palm.
"Now, shall we?"
Zanka looks around and puts down the bouquet of roses on the nearest surface of the desk. He doesn't expect himself to step forward, and instead of taking the offered hand, he reaches for the lapel of Enjin's blazer to pull him down.
A smirk blooms on Enjin's lips before it morphs to something entirely different, because Zanka doesn't reach for his face, but his tie.
Enjin seems taken aback when Zanka takes the tie out of the waistcoat, undoing the knot.
Zanka doesn't know what prompts him to do this; he just knows that to be perfect, Enjin also has to look the most perfect, too. And that crooked tie, the only thing that tethers Zanka to reality, needs to be fixed.
"Zanka," he hears Enjin call. Zanka is too busy keeping his hands steady as he does the knot of the older man's tie.
"You're good at this," Enjin says. Zanka can feel the older man's hands settle on his hips, keeping him in place.
Zanka tries to keep the blush on his cheeks under control as he finishes adjusting the tie, tucking it back to the waistcoat, before he pats Enjin's chest, mumbles, "All done."
Enjin doesn't let him go.
"Zanka," he calls again.
This time, Zanka looks up. But he doesn't see much, because the moment he lifts his head, all he can see is Enjin, so close—leaning in.
He doesn't have time to escape when Enjin's arms entrap him, when Enjin's lips capture him.
It's brief, yet so lasting.
It's not their first time kissing, but it always feels like the first. The excitement, the sensation. Zanka can feel himself melt at the taste of Enjin's lips, the touch of Enjin's hand—everything Enjin.
It's brief, yet so lasting.
When Enjin pulls back, Zanka can feel the grin against his own lips, because Zanka unconsciously doesn't want the kiss to stop, and still chases after him.
"Save it for the date," Enjin says, a sweet whisper as he bumps their forehead.
It's a promise, the unheard follows. Zanka hears it anyway.
The drive to Canvas Town is the longest and simultaneously the fastest trip Enjin has ever made.
They can make it just fine with walking, but Enjin wants to treat Zanka right, so he takes him in the Jeep. Semiu is usually strict with this kind of personal thing, but he can tell she's ecstatic when Enjin bashfully says the only reason he wants to use the car is that he wants to romance Zanka.
Now, it's not exactly what he said, but even without using her power, Semiu can see right through him, so why does Enjin bother to hide the truth?
He has been thinking about it for a while—no, since a long time ago.
Ever since their clumsy love confession (Enjin being ridiculously jealous, Zanka having an emotional crash out). Enjin has been racking his brain to show Zanka how to do it.
It being the new status of their relationship.
Which can't be said to be new, either. But one could argue that six months aren't enough for someone with zero romantic experience to romance someone they're romantically attracted to.
Despite having tons of experiences with multiple partners in the past, none of them comes even close to what Zanka is to him.
He feels like an idiot in love when he says this, but Zanka Nijiku is different.
Zanka Nijiku is special.
Zanka Nijiku deserves to get treated right.
And damn him, if Enjin doesn't try his hardest to make Zanka's very first serious relationship the best thing that ever happens to him. Because to Enjin, it already is.
He has wanted to take Zanka out for an actual date. He did it sporadically in the past, but looking back, Enjin isn't even sure he had done it the right way.
Being Zanka is just so easy; sometimes Enjin can't even tell the difference between their dates and just hanging out with Zanka like he used to do to get away from Riyo and Rudo.
He intends to change that.
And thanks to Rudo and his story, Enjin gets to experience something named Valentine's Day, a celebration of love, with Zanka.
When they finally arrive, Enjin wonders if Zanka finally learns to control his nervousness or if he has simply mastered the art of hiding it. He glances at the younger, worried that Zanka will act awkwardly, but what he finds instead is that Zanka looks genuinely interested in what Enjin had planned ahead for them.
As they enter the city, Enjin doesn't give room for hesitation, when he walks closer to Zanka, and takes his hand. The bouquet is left behind, so Zanka's hand is free, so Enjin can seize the opportunity to hold him at any time.
"It's cold," Enjin doesn't know why he obviously exposes himself to the lie.
Zanka tenses at his touch, but slowly allows himself to accept the gesture, because he squeezes back.
"Then," Zanka shifts closer to, and despite the pinkness on his cheeks, he smiles. "We have to keep ourselves warm."
Aside from being known for the arts, Canvas Town is also known for its famous night street food. Enjin and Zanka (and the rest of the Akuta Team) have their experience of enjoying the meals and the vibes. The city is alive with music, lights, and of course, food.
If Enjin briefly worries they will stick out like a sore thumb, then he worries for nothing. Because their outfits somehow end up normal. There are a lot of eccentric people here with eccentric fashion tastes, walking among them, kind of helping them to blend.
"Where are we going?" Zanka eventually asks when it seems like they just keep walking, parting the sea of crowds.
Enjin gives him a secret smile. "Somewhere I always want to go with you."
Zanka blushes even at the tiniest tease, and it makes Enjin's heart swell with fondness at how easy he can elicit such a reaction from the younger.
It takes them a little while to finally overcome the street full of people until they get to the quieter part of the town.
There's a tall, slim building at the end of the road, a small restaurant whose walls are decorated with a flower mural.
The Mayor is the one who suggested the place, back when Enjin visited the town, and he accidentally let it slip that he had been seeing someone.
Told him it's the perfect place for a dinner date because he and his wife usually celebrate their anniversary there.
"Try the rooftop," he said. "Remlin always does the firework show every night around dinner time; you can get the best view at that."
So here he is, taking Zanka to the top of the building.
The Mayor doesn't lie when he says this place is filled with couples. Enjin can feel curious eyes eyeing them when he enters the restaurant. He has placed a reservation for the rooftop, and he can't tell that the server is surprised to find out that the Enjin (in his usual Cleaner uniform) is the same Enjin that stands before her eyes. It also takes her an embarrassingly long moment to notice that Zanka is his partner, even after Enjin brings forward their intertwined hands.
"Oh yes! A reservation for Enjin-san and his partner," she yelps before hastily guiding them to the stairs.
Zanka is silent the whole time, and whenever Enjin looks his way, he always tries to look composed—but Enjin knows better that he's nervous.
Enjin's just the same.
Because even if this is something that Enjin should get used to, something that he should be able to overcome—all the jitters and all; yet, he still couldn't.
Because it's Zanka, you know?
They might have been in a relationship for a while now, Enjin should get used to acting like someone's more than a friend, someone's more than a mentor, someone's more to Zanka—but still, the thought alone sometimes makes him worried that he had taken the wrong steps, making the wrong moves.
Because it's Zanka, you know?
After a messy love confession, how they almost ruined a long run of a relationship so that they could elevate to the next level of the relationship—everything always feels new to Enjin, no matter how much he should be familiar with it already.
He doesn't hate it.
In fact, Enjin loves it too much. Sometimes, he's worried that if he wants to show everything to Zanka, he will just end up scaring Zanka off.
"I'll have your special," Enjin says when the waiter hands him the menu, once they settle at their table. To Zanka, Enjin smiles, "The Mayor recommends me this place."
Before Zanka can respond, the waiter interrupts.
"He has impeccable taste! This is the perfect place to have a dinner date!" She proceeds to gush about how many times the Mayor and his wife dined here and what they love about their restaurant.
Enjin is so surprised by her excitement that he doesn't get to stop her. When he catches Zanka's eyes from across the table, the blue is filled with mirth at the burst of exhilaration. Even hidden behind his knuckles, Enjin can make out the smile.
Enjin can't help but mirror him.
"—and then, she will feed the Mayor the dessert! They're so romantic! You should try our special dessert too! Oh, wait, you've ordered our special, so it's included already!" She manages to stop herself at last, before she apologizes for being so loud.
Zanka is the one who reassures her that the gushing is making a perfect selling point.
"At least, we know, we're on the right hand," he adds.
Enjin leans back in his chair, impressed at the calmness he exhibits in the situation. Of course, it's so him, making sure the others don't feel bad for doing something. Zanka often sells him short, saying that he doesn't do well with crowds or interacting with people. But Enjin knows better, even better than Zanka himself.
Before the waiter excuses herself, she turns for the last time to say, "You two make a perfect couple."
This time, Enjin is the one who responds, as he takes Zanka's hand and lifts the intertwined.
"Ain't I such a lucky man to get someone like him?"
The waiter laughs, giving them double thumbs. Zanka flusters, but he doesn't pull his hand back.
Enjin counts it as a win.
The dinner goes surprisingly normal. The meals are great. Enjin had expected to have fancy, small portion dishes served, but it's actually a set of very hearty meals. Zanka seems to enjoy them too, and what Enjin initially thinks to be an awkward atmosphere between them, has morphed into a perfectly peaceful dinner.
They share stories, exchange tales—as if this is just their usual dinner. What's different is that Enjin always keeps Zanka's hand near, whenever he doesn't need to use both of his hands. He feels childishly younger when he bumps his knee to Zanka, and Zanka bumps back.
True to the Mayor's words, Remlin's fireworks show starts when they are in the middle of having dinner. The explosion of colors, in various shapes, has lit up the sky so beautifully.
And yet, when he looks at Zanka, who doesn't even look at him but to the sky, Enjin thinks he still has never seen anything that can rival his beauty.
When he suggests that they wear their outfits for the Festival Doll, Enjin admits that the suggestion comes from a very selfish place.
He knows how much his own outfit affects Zanka; he knows how much ogling that Zanka does. Enjin is never above rejecting a potential boost to his pride, and what's a better way to have Zanka's eyes on him all the time?
But it's also because Enjin likes the outfit that Zanka wears.
He has to get another gift basket for August, to recognize his achievement in making the perfect outfit for Zanka. The outfit is strong with traditional aspects of the Kamuatari. The whole look gives him the vibe of a royal prince, something that definitely suits him as part of the Nijikus.
Zanka has done his staring, but Enjin does too.
Back then, and now.
Zanka, who's aware of being stared at, looks his way and offers him a smile.
It's not a strange sight, Enjin sees the same smile probably a million times before, but this time it looks different, it feels different.
The smile contains so many unsaid things, some that somehow echo so loudly in his ears.
"Do you enjoy our very first Valentine's Day?" Enjin ends up asking, searching for Zanka's hand, so close it doesn't take long for them to entangle their hands again.
Zanka tightens his grip. "Very much."
Zanka would lie if he said he wasn't nervous.
As if the nervousness had become a part of himself, something inseparable from him. He should get used to this; he should be able to overcome all the jitters, and yet, he still couldn't.
Not when Enjin constantly puts him in a surprising position like this.
Which shouldn't be surprising at this point, but Zanka is still surprised anyway.
For their dinner, Zanka only has some glasses of wine. Enjin has told him that the percentage of alcohol is moderate, and Zanka can stop if he doesn't feel like drinking more.
The dinner is so nice, too nice even, he can't help but keep drinking.
Now, he can feel the effect of the alcohol starting to show itself, when he almost misses a step when they go down the stairs. Thanks to Enjin and his remarkable reflexes, he's in safe hands until they arrive at the register.
Everything remains a blur; he just remembers how Enjin wraps his hand around his shoulder, before it slides down to his waist. Zanka isn't usually fond of public displays of affection, but this time, he leans toward Enjin, like he craves the closeness.
It doesn't take them long to finally go back to the street. It seems that the later it gets, the more lively the city gets, too. He can feel Enjin's arm keeping him steady as they walk down the street.
Zanka doesn't even realize he has been supported by Enjin the whole time, right when he almost trips on his feet because Enjin suddenly stops.
"Zanka," his voice feels so close to his ear.
"Mmhh?" Zanka answers pretty eloquently.
"How about we spend a night here?"
And Zanka can say that he shouldn't be surprised by this turn of events. Zanka can say he should have expected it to happen. Zanka can also say that Enjin is smart for doing this, instead of doing the honorable thing, like insisting on driving them back home.
Zanka's glad, Enjin takes the leap.
That's why, when he finds himself lying on the bed, mildly disoriented and Enjin is nowhere to be found, Zanka doesn't know if he's sober enough to proceed with everything.
He sits up so quickly, the room is spinning and he's threatened to fall back to the mattress again.
"Hey, hey, easy there," he hears the voice and immediately whips his head to the source. Enjin has taken off his coat and blazer; he now has the sleeves of his shirt rolled to his elbows. He has a bowl of water and a towel in his hands.
"That wine really takes after you," Enjin chuckles when he finally gets to bed. The older man sits on the edge as he leans to wipe Zanka's sweating forehead.
Zanka lets himself be cleaned, enjoying every dab of the chilled towel against his hot face. He doesn't even realize he briefly slips into the slumber until he overhears Enjin talking in the bathroom, after the cleanup is done.
The door is slightly ajar, and with the end of the firework show, Zanka can actually pick up the words if he tries to eavesdrop.
"—I'm just letting you know, Semiu," he hears.
Apparently, Enjin is talking to Semiu. She probably calls about why he and Zanka haven't gotten back yet.
Zanka doesn't know what time it is, but he can tell it must be past the acceptable time to go out.
"I'll get there first thing in the morning,"
The call ends, and Zanka doesn't even have enough body coordination to pretend he doesn't hear anything.
Enjin seems surprised to see Zanka has woken up again.
"Semiu?" Zanka asks, patting the choker on his wrist.
"Yeah, just checking in," the bed creaks when Enjin comes to sit again with him. "You're alright? Need something?"
Zanka wants to speak more, but his throat feels so scratchy, he only manages a soundless croak. Enjin is quick to fetch him a glass of water, which Zanka finishes in one big gulp.
"Now, just lie back down, you'll feel less dizzy," Enjin instructs. Zanka watches the man, whose words should be intimate, should be inviting; but right now all he can hear is just attentiveness.
Zanka doesn't even blame alcohol when he thinks he dislikes it, when Enjin has too much control of his own desire. This man is powerful, he has Zanka wrapped in his palm already.
Then, why doesn't he seize the opportunity?
Why doesn't Enjin do the only thing that should get done, the reason why they spend their night here, in the first place?
"Keep frowning and you'll get wrinkles faster than me, Zanzan," Enjin chuckles, reaching for Zanka's forehead and smoothing the skin. Zanka doesn't stop. Enjin has to notice this too, because he props his chin as he gets down closer to Zanka's face.
"What is it, now?"
Zanka turns to him. "I don't want to sleep it off."
Enjin blinks. Zanka's eyes drop to Enjin's chest. Now that he's injected with the liquid courage, he allows himself to take in the sight of the perfectly sculpted body wrapped in a perfectly fitting suit.
Zanka may have underestimated the effect of Enjin in this particular outfit.
He reaches to touch, but he can only manage so far before a stronger hand stops him midway.
"You're drunk, Zanka," Enjin gently reminds him, keeping his hand in his grasp. "I should be more mindful of your wine intake when we're going out next time."
"We're in the motel," Zanka says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. We can do so much more than just me listening to your lecture about my alcohol tolerance, Zanka wants to continue.
"Because you need to sleep it off," Enjin says, emphasizing Zanka's previous statement on purpose.
Zanka rolls on the bed, attempting to smirk in the most suggestive way. "You can sleep it off me."
Enjin seems so taken aback by the poor attempt at temptation that he just ends up laughing.
Zanka dislikes being laughed at.
"I will sleep it off you alright, Sweetheart," he says, his tone is indulgent, like a promise, but the false kind. Because Enjin goes to fetch the blanket and drape it over Zanka's body, like a restraint.
"Enjin—" Zanka hates to be that person, but he whines.
Enjin doesn't budge. He merely leans to kiss his forehead, before he wraps his arm around Zanka as an additional security measure. Because right now, Zanka is a danger; not just to Enjin, but also to himself.
"Sleep, Zanzan," Enjin says.
Zanka doesn't want to.
He's done being nervous. He doesn't want to be limited by his own nervousness. He doesn't want to get stopped by his own second thoughts. Zanka knows what he wants, Zanka knows what he needs. Even if his head is slightly hazy, nothing has been more clearer.
It's Enjin.
Enjin's fault is that he doesn't take Zanka seriously.
And that's how he ends up with Zanka escaping from his confinement and now, on top of him.
"Zanka," Enjin sighs, sounding like he doesn't have the energy to face rebellious Zanka at this moment. Zanka doesn't listen; he pins Enjin on the bed, before clumsily climbing on him, legs straddling his thighs.
"Happy Valentine's Day, Enjin," Zanka breathes out, before he surges forward and aims for his lips.
Enjin clamps shut, but Zanka is persistent, and he can be very persuasive when he wants something. Doesn't need much coaxing, before the older man caves him and his mouth flails open in surrender.
Zanka's kisses are too uncoordinated; they are messy, they are sloppy.
He takes and takes, leading the games; while Enjin just lies there being stolen, being assaulted.
The man doesn't do anything to stop him; he merely places his hand over Zanka's hips, as a precaution so he doesn't fall off.
Soon, the kisses weren't enough.
Zanka wants more.
Zanka needs more.
Nothing can stop him—
"Zanzan, wait," Enjin pushes him back slightly. Zanka makes a disgruntled noise at the sudden separation. But Enjin pecks the corner of his lips in apology before he caresses his face.
"I haven't opened your Valentine's Day gift yet, you know."
Luckily, Enjin has just draped his coat and his blazer on the chair next to the bed, so that he can easily reach them without actually having to wake up from his position.
At the sight of the pink box, Zanka suddenly feels embarrassed. He's glad he can hand the gift to the man, but the thought of Enjin opening the gift right in front of him makes him slightly worried.
"Don't overthink about my reaction," Enjin grins, before he gets Zanka off his chest so they both can sit up. Enjin pulls the pink ribbon, unties the knot, before he manages to take off the lid.
There are two rows of chocolate bites in various shapes.
Zanka doesn't know what Enjin looks like when he's opening his gift because he looks away, unable to bear the thought of Enjin noticing that he has gone the most cheesy way to celebrate the day.
"It's not those overly sweet ones," Zanka clears his throat, suddenly acting all shy and contradicting his previous brave action. "I know you're not that much of a sweet tooth, so I thought—I thought maybe dark chocolate will do—"
"Zanzan," Enjin takes his hand, tipping his chin to get Zanka to look up. When he does, all he can see is that comforting smile of his, gracing his face like it's always a permanent fixture there. "It's perfect."
Zanka would lie if he said he wasn't nervous.
As if the nervousness had become a part of himself, something inseparable from him. He should get used to this; he should be able to overcome all the jitters, and yet, he still couldn't.
Why couldn't he?
Because it's Enjin, he reasons.
But… it's also Enjin, you know.
Enjin, who has seen him in the worst state of being, who has seen him in every peak of his emotional crash out, whether it's the positive or the negative. If there's someone who is known for the best and the worst, then it's Enjin.
He reaches for the box in Enjin's hand, picking the most obvious shape, the heart-shaped one.
While they were on the topic of being sappy and cheesy, might as well commit himself to the action.
Enjin doesn't say anything, he merely watches Zanka lift the sweet treat, mouth drops, expecting the chocolate piece to go into him—only to have Zanka place the piece in his own mouth.
The air is suddenly charged with something electric. Zanka can feel Enjin's golden iris darkening into shades of amber as he carefully waits for Zanka's next move.
Zanka leans forward, the chocolate an offered bait between his teeth.
And like a lured prey, Enjin captures it.
The first thought that comes to his mind is that the shopkeeper doesn't lie when she says that this particular chocolate's taste leans towards bitterness rather than sweetness.
But honestly, Zanka won't know the difference because everything is overshadowed by another dominant taste, overwriting every taste possible.
Zanka might not know the real taste of the chocolate. It could be spicy, it could be salty. Because the only thing that dominates his tongue is the taste of Enjin.
This time, Enjin makes sure to take the lead, wiping out every possible trace of chocolate in Zanka's mouth, tasting every corner until there's nothing left. Zanka's arms instinctively reach for Enjin's neck, anchoring himself.
He could feel Enjin remove the box from his lap, putting it away at a safe distance, before he wrapped his arms around Zanka's waist, keeping him in place.
Finally, Zanka thinks. He could barely feel the effect of the alcohol, when any other sense of his is focused on one thing: Enjin.
Enjin.
Enjin.
Enjin.
The man overwhelms him on so many levels that Zanka can no longer keep up. He doesn't think he can. He doesn't think if he ever wants to.
Not when he loves being surprised by Enjin; by his initiative, by his kindness, by his everything.
Enjin angles his face, dives for another kiss, and Zanka follows suit. This time, the kiss is no longer spiced with chocolate, but it's now entirely the shared taste of him and Enjin.
Zanka can tell Enjin tries to keep the kiss to a minimum heat, despite the hunger it displays and Zanka intends to change that, so he grinds himself on Enjin's lap.
The result is instant, Enjin groans into his mouth and Zanka swallows the sound like he's always anticipating it.
Zanka grins against his lips, and Enjin must be able to tell the mischief he has committed because he has his huge hand on Zanka's back, pulling him even closer, forcing Zanka to grind even harder.
It's now his turn to groan.
And Zanka realizes he may have awakened a beast, when suddenly Enjin rolls them to the mattress, Zanka lands on the soft surface with a thump.
Enjin is huge.
There's no time when Zanka thinks he isn't.
Enjin has a huge heart. He has a huge amount of trust in other people, he has a huge faith in people who don't even believe in themselves, he has a huge amount of attentiveness and care too.
Everything about him is huge, because it's impossible for Enjin to do everything on such a small scale.
The way his hand intertwined with Zanka's was so huge it almost drowned Zanka's. The way his huge figure can benefit them to make their way through the crowd. The way his huge arms make Zanka feel safe.
Nothing about Enjin is small.
Like the way Enjin hovers above him, casting a shadow in the shape of his body, perfectly.
Like the way Enjin observes him like a predator who manages to capture his prey.
Like the way Zanka can just reach and run his hands on his chest in a waistcoat, the tie he has just fixed this evening, feeling the outfit hugging the man in the best possible way, and yet, the exploration seems to never end.
The way Enjin will take Zanka's hand, guiding him towards his crotch, and Zanka has to restrain his gasp, if everything about Enjin is huge, what's a greater word to describe the bulge in his pants?
"You'll be the death of me, you know that?" Enjin sighs, surrendering himself—as if Zanka hasn't admitted defeat the moment Enjin flips him on the bed.
Instead of answering, Zanka grabs the bulge, eliciting an even louder groan.
In a normal situation, Zanka will second-guess himself; he will doubt his own actions. But with the remaining alcohol in his blood, with the way he can tell Enjin is slowly losing his composure, Zanka doesn't care anymore.
"Sweetheart, you're entering the dangerous zone, here," Enjin warns him, but Zanka merely giggles.
"Happy Valentine's Day?" He ends up suggesting.
And if Enjin's reaction to it is bracketing the sides of his head and diving back for more ferocious kisses; then Zanka wonders if he can celebrate Valentine's Day on any other day too.
This is one of the rare moments when Enjin wakes up before Zanka does.
The younger man is still snoring softly against his chest, his knuckles curled into fists, settling nicely between their bodies. They are perfectly wrapped in the warm bundle of the blanket, but Enjin can't help himself from pulling Zanka into his embrace as if he can't get enough of their closeness.
Zanka makes soft, intangible sounds, but he doesn't wake up.
If anything, he snuggles to Enjin even more, his head tucked under Enjin's chin.
Enjin sighs in contentment, landing a soft kiss against the ash-colored strands.
If only they didn't need to wake up.
If only they could stay as long as they want.
If only they could freeze this moment forever.
He taps his choker, waiting for a response.
It comes faster than he expected.
"I don't accept any excuse, Enjin."
Semiu precedes him. She sounds pretty composed at this hour.
"You're abusing the HQ facility for your personal matters."
Enjin snorts. Semiu doesn't sound like she's joking.
"C'mon, Semiu, as your oldest best friend?"
There's a long, stretched silence at the other end. Enjin is almost convinced, Semiu has cut the connection. Until he hears her familiar huffs.
"Just get back here before lunch, or you're gonna have to take it up with Corvus."
Enjin grins.
"You're a gift, Semiu, much thanks."
He taps out the call, making a mental note of gifting something to the receptionist later, before he pulls the blanket even higher, resting his chin against Zanka's head.
Even if the date has changed, Valentine's Day has just gotten better.
Letting himself lull back to slumber with Zanka in his arms, Enjin wonders if there's any other celebration that Rudo can tell him about.