Chapter Text
The longest memory Jisung owned was a name.
Two words.
Eight letters.
And a neverending story behind a face.
The face from the boy he had uselessly tried to forget since the summer he had turned fifteen...
Life changed in the matter of seconds. Jisung knew it from experience. One day, the boy was there by Jisung’s side, like he always used to be. The next day, he had completely disappeared from his life, as if he had never been part of it.
Jisung had tried so hard to move on with his life. But there always was this part of his mind that would not let him forget.
The memories were engraved in his brain and taunted him every single day. Everything reminded him of the boy: the sea and its waves, the moon and her sun…
It was pathetic. He was well aware of it.
But he was also aware that it was useless to forget one's first love.
“Have you heard?” Felix sat by his side, a frown decorating his face. “The new project leader is coming tonight. That’s why they’ve made us all come to this stupid dinner.” He sighed, taking a glance at their not so kind coworkers.
Felix and he had started working in the company at the same time, almost ten years ago. They were the naive young boys in their twenties that their not so young colleagues had taken advantage of since their very first day. They only had each other and had been friends since then.
Honestly, Jisung would have resigned long ago if it wasn’t for Felix.
“All I’ve heard is that we’d rather not mess up with him. Doesn’t that sound scary? Couldn’t they find a nicer leader?” He kept on whining.
Jisung stared at his almost empty glass. He had a weird feeling that something wrong would happen. Work dinners always ended up horribly. People in their fifties and alcohol did not go well together.
He had never imagined himself in that situation. When he was a kid, he had so many dreams: he had wanted to be an astronaut who explored the stars, a singer who went on world tours, a scientist who discovered cures of illnesses.…
Not a thirty year old who worked in an office, like half of the world's population.
He sighed.
“Hey,” Felix patted his shoulder. “Are you alright, Jisung?”
“Yeah. Sorry, I…” He shook his head, not knowing what exactly was going on with him. “I’m just tired, don’t worry.”
Felix stared at his face and nodded, skeptically. But he soon forgot about it when the restaurant’s door opened and more of their colleagues and bosses entered the room.
“Shit, Chan-nim is here,” Felix panicked in a whisper and quickly tucked his hair behind his ears. “Do I look pretty?” He narrowed his eyes at Jisung, looking really concerned by his looks.
“You always look beautiful, Felix.” Jisung giggled. It was really entertaining seeing how affected his friend was by their boss' presence.
“I know,” He smiled and then sighed. “But he still ignores me, doesn’t he?”
“He ignores and rejects everyone. Do not take it to heart.”
His words were backed up when he took a glance at their boss. A woman was by his side, she talked and talked, probably trying to flirt with him. But he did not react at all. Instead, he smiled politely and excused himself to a seat.
Jisung moved his gaze slightly to the left and came across the opposite scene. Their other boss, Seo Changbin, was flirting with some omegas. He had some really visible hickeys all over his neck that he never cared to conceal at all.
“Can’t say the same thing about him.” He chuckled.
As if he had heard him, Changbin’s gaze fell on the pair. At first, he seemed surprised. But then, he smirked and winked at them before continuing flirting.
“He is so shameless, I swear,” Felix complained. “Why do people keep falling for him? Can’t they see through all that fake flirting?”
Jisung nodded, agreeing. “Who are we to judge, though?” He pressed his lips with a slight frown. “I think our situation is way far worse.”
In the end, he would rather be in love with a womanizer than with a person he had not seen since he was a teen… And probably would not meet again.
“Fuck. I hate that you are right.” Felix grunted. He poured beer on their glasses, then handed one to Jisung. “Let’s drown our sorrows, shall we?” Felix grinned, as if he were making fun of their tragic love lives.
Jisung had no motive to reject him. The night would be long and he would rather be anywhere else than there. “We shall.”
So they drank and drank.
Jisung wasn't sure of how many times Felix had refilled their glasses. But he knew he had drunk more than he should have.
His vision was blurry and he was starting to feel dizzy. Felix was not in a better state.
Jisung had to remind himself many times that he was at a work reunion. He did not want to make a fool of himself, but drinking made him forget and that was all he wanted at that moment.
Even right then, he thought of his first love. Of how they had sneaked out of their houses at night. How they had drank for the first time together, some liquor his parents had in the living room that would not be missed. They had had so much fun together. They always did…
He took another sip of his glass to think of anything else.
Suddenly, someone coughed loudly. “Please, pay me all attention for a minute. I’ll introduce you to your new project leader,” It was Chan. Jisung listened but did not avert his gaze from the, once again, filled glass in his hand. “We’ve worked together several times throughout the last years and it has always been a pleasure. So I hope you take care of him for me.” His coworkers clapped as the boss finished talking.
Jisung heard some determined steps. “Nice to meet you all. I’m Lee Minho.”
Eight letters.
Two words.
Jisung almost dropped his glass when he finally gazed at the newcomer.
Though he would have been able to recognize that voice without seeing him. After all, his presence had tormented Jisung for fifteen years. How could he not recognize his voice? His scent?
Jisung stared at him without blinking once, not believing what his eyes were seeing. He feared he was daydreaming again.
“I’ll be guiding you through this new project,” Minho stopped talking for a brief second, when their eyes finally met.
Jisung’s breath hitched. All the longing, sadness and anger he had locked in his heart for half of his life simultaneously took over his mind and body.
Time stopped ticking for a moment.
Their surroundings all disappeared and all Jisung could focus on was on the oldest version of his first love. On how much he had changed but how familiar he still felt. How he had the same intense eyes that only softened when they were fixed on him, the same pointy nose that Jisung had memorized after staring at it for so long… The same lips that had stolen his first kiss fifteen years ago before disappearing forever.
Jisung cowardly looked away, when he felt too overwhelmed by his emotions, by the hurting memories…. He felt how his heartbeats increased immensely every passing second and it drove him insane.
“I hope we get on together well.” Minho continued, as if nothing had happened.
But everything had happened.
Why were they in the same room? That was impossible. Lee Minho had moved to Japan and disappeared from his life long ago. It made no sense for him to be there. He could not be there. Why was he there?
This could not be happening. Not that abruptly.
For fifteen years, Jisung had pondered so hard what he would tell Minho if they ever met again. He had come up with pages and pages of questions he wanted to ask him… he had imagined endless scenarios of their reunion.
However, now that he had him right in front of his nose, Jisung had no idea what to say or how to act.
Perhaps, he did not feel like talking to him at all… After all, he had never tried to contact him in all those years.
Jisung was scared, hurt and confused. He had been so for many years and it felt so unfair how unaffected Minho seemed by his presence.
He had probably been the only one missing the other so terribly, after all. Maybe Minho did not remember him at all.
Minho surely had his own life now and would no longer care about his… About him and his stupid useless feelings.
He drank the content of his glass in one sip. One time. Twice. Three times…
“Jisung, slow down or you’ll pass out.”
“I hope so.”
༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝
When Jisung opened his eyes, he was instantly overwhelmed by a throbbing headache.
By the sun peeking through the blinds, he could tell it was already the next morning.
It was the next morning and he could not remember exactly what had happened the night before.
Just by that he knew he had fucked up…
He groaned and stared at the unknown white ceiling for ten minutes straight, processing everything.
He did not know where he was or how he had gotten there. Adding to that, he could only recall some disorganized parts of the night before.
He remembered someone calling out his name like an echo… He could still feel some tangling caresses on his skin… Some endless talking… Sharing drinks with a blurry face... Way too many drinks that got them tumbling and laughing their way out of the building… He could still hear the heavy breaths, the moans…
All those messy parts led to him laying naked in that empty cold hotel bed.
“Fuck.”