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"Shit! Rem, don't drink that—!!!"
The blue-haired Oni halts in her tracks, the steaming cup of tea just shy of her parted lips.
Subaru pants from the doorway, hands on his knees as he chases his breath. His dark hair looks like an oil spill in the shards of moonlight that stream in through the kitchen window.
"Subaru-kun! Why are you up so late?" She sets the tea cup down, beaming at her beloved hero with a flush to her cheeks. "And... why can't I drink this...?"
She looks down at the hot liquid in perplexion, inspecting it with a raised eyebrow as she cradles the ornate teacup snugly to keep her hands warm.
"I– I, uh..."
He seems hesitant to answer, sharp eyes flitting around the room in a blatant display of embarrassment. His cheeks pinken.
"Subaru...?" Rem tilts her head, eyebrows furrowed.
He wrings his hands together nervously, attempting to formulate an acceptable explanation under the blue-haired demon's stare.
"You wouldn't want to drink that, it has..." He pauses again. "Listen, ever since the whole sanctuary mess, I've had a– this ability... given to me by a certain white haired witc– woman."
"An ability given to you—!?" Rem immediately jumps to her feet.
He nods. "I can't tell you you exactly *who* gave it to me, she told me to keep it a secret. But... Jeez, this is so embarrassing—"
Rem raises a palm, putting an end to the rambling with an authoritative air.
"Subaru. What's the ability." Rem stares at him head on, eliciting a cold drop of sweat to roll down his forehead.
"...." His lips remain pursed.
"Subaru..."
"I can– My... bodily... fluids have stabilising properties, for both the body and mind. I decided to brew some into tea..."
"..."
"..."
"Your bodily fluids, in the tea...?" Rem stares at him wide eyed, and then at the tea. She seats herself again.
He nods again, opting to stare at the floor rather than meet her gaze.
"Oh..." She blinks.
"..I'm sorry. I know, it's pretty disgusting, and I agree, I–"
*Slurrrrrrrrrp*
"——!?"
He freezes, not quite believing what he's hearing. His head snaps up, jaw slackened. Sure enough, Rem, the innocent-looking and lovely maid, has downed the special tea in one gulp.
She slams the empty cup down like a drunkard would a beer mug. Wiping her stained lips with the back of her hand, she glares at Subaru with a thirsty glint in her intense eyes.
She licks her lips and demands, "More."
"Rem... What the hell—!?"
"I said, get me more!"
She snarls, a glowing horn now protruding from beneath her bangs. Her Morningstar appears out of nowhere, gleaming with a threatening shine in the moonlight. Suddenly, the kitchen feels way too cramped. Subaru has nowhere to run.
"Now!!!" She shrieks, the business end of her weapon now swinging, drawing a perfect circle in the air. It catches on the corner of the breakfast table, shaving the angular edge of wood off with ease. Rem pays no mind to this, her manic eyes trained on Subaru.
"R-right away, ma'am!"
He swiftly scoops up the tea pot, and attempts to run out of the room to brew more tea, in privacy of course.
"——!"
Suddenly, a spiked ball threatens to blow Subaru's head off with its mighty strength. Subaru swears the tip of his right ear is bleeding. The deadly ball rears back just as quickly with a sharp slice of the air.
"No." A smooth voice commands, both insatiable and laden with thinly-veiled threat. "Make it here, Subaru-kun."
He hesitantly looks back over his shoulder, his stiffened neck protesting the very movement.
"But..." He tries.
"Get back over here." Rem hisses.
He slowly turns around, and makes his way back to the demon with painfully slow steps, eyes trained on the ground once again. It's as though his feet have been swapped out with heavy bricks of dense steel.
Her sweet smile has returned again, dainty hands clapping together in glee at his compliance.
"Emilia-sama is right. Subaru-kun really is a good boy..."
The "good boy" in question sports a thousand-yard stare, bitten lips trembling as he gently sets the tea pot back onto the tabletop.
"What are you waiting for? Make tea for me please, Subaru-kun..!" She beams innocently.
"..Okay......"
He stares blankly at the teapot for a second, unmoving. When he hears the familiar clink of the Morningstar once again, he whirs back into action.
"Alright... I'm doing this.." Psyching himself up, he shakily leans down, hovering over the open teapot, arms planted on the table, fists bracketing his target.
Rem appreciates the view, usually she only gets to see Subaru bend over like this when he cleans an uncomfortably low spot. Her eyes roam over his amazing body, before straying back to his face.
Flustered and panting, he nervously pouts his lips.
Rem watches intently.
His red cheeks puff out for a moment, and then, sure enough, a stream of saliva drips out of his parted lips.
The crystalline liquid glistens in the ivory glow of the room, catching on the light in a radiant, tantalising manner. Rem wants to drink it straight from the source...
It flows into the darkness of the empty tea pot's abyss. Filling the cavity with a light tinkle, hidden from view as it cascades past the rim.
"Oh, Od..." Rem subtly rubs her thighs together, pale fists clenched in the hem of her gown.
The clear stream eventually stops, and Subaru's breath hitches as he catches some air. He stands up, as embarrassed as before, if not more.
He then adds a tea bag and some water to the teapot, before moving it over to the stove hob behind Rem to heat it up.
Silence rules the room with a heavy fist.
With a narrowed eye she stares at his backside as he simmers the liquid over the flame. Should she...?
"....."
Her hand begins to gravitate towards his oblivious ass, ill intent radiating from her lecherous smile.
".........!"
He turns around right then, blissfully unaware of her attempted exploit. "It's ready," he announces.
Hands drawn back to herself, Rem pushes out her emptied tea cup with silent command.
He fills it with the drink, and she feels her mounting excitement making its presence known to her. Legs squeezed together, she happily picks up the cup.
He stares at her warily, eyeing her horn and weapon with a flighty twitch of his eye.
"Bon-appa-teet." She butchers the foreign loan phrase as she lifts the tea to her lips once again.
She lets it flow down her throat, this time savouring the taste as she swirls it around her mouth. But...
She pauses.
"This isn't right."
Subaru clenches his eyes shut. Shit.
"The last brew... it was saltier. This is... sweet?" Her eyes darken. "Did you happen to make this batch... differently...?"
His life's over. She's realised. He'll have no dignity left after this night. Could he ever face Emilia-tan again....???
"I—" He starts.
She shakes her head, cutting him off. "Tut, tut. That won't do." She quickly downs the remains of the tea and swings the cup on her pinky finger. "Now, make it the right way."
"..."
...Subaru begins to consider resetting this night.