Chapter Text
Tyler remembered vividly the first time he kissed a boy. It was in the back of the boy's bathroom of his middle school and he had liked it a lot. But it wasn't because he liked it that he remembered it. It was the boy he kissed telling all his friends, and all his friends mocking him, calling him names. It was him running back with tears in his eyes to that same place were he kissed a boy and liked it. It was hazel eyes and brown curls finding him a crying mess curled up on the ground in the back of the boy's bathroom. It was that same curly head breaking the nose of the boy he kissed. It was him finding a friend who intimidated anyone trying to bully Tyler, who didn't care that Tyler kissed a boy and liked it, who had gentle eyes and a bright big smile. Tyler remembered vividly the first time he kissed a boy because it was the day he became friend with Josh Dun.
Friends became best friends and they quickly were inseparable in high school. They spent most of their free time together, going in the woods because Tyler insisted that they build a tree house, playing video games in Josh's room, walking down the aisles of the music store while talking animatedly about their favorite albums, sharing their dreams about playing music in front of the world, eating Taco Bell whenever they could, watching the X-Files because Josh wouldn't shut up about it.
Josh made Tyler's belly fill with butterflies when he poked his tongue between his teeth while smiling. He was always kind and held him tight in his arms when Tyler had a break down. Josh held his hand even tighter when Tyler came out as gay to his family. Tears of joy rolled down his cheeks when they all hugged his best friend who mouthed him a “thank you”. One night, during one of their deep conversations they only had in the dark, Josh told Tyler he thought he might be bi. Another one of those nights Tyler confessed he had feelings for his best friend and Josh kissed him.
At seventeen, Tyler's first time was with a boy named Josh Dun and they loved each other. It wasn't perfect, it was messy and they couldn't stop giggling when Josh struggled to open the condom. But neither of them would have wanted it to happen any other way.
So Tyler Joseph had a normal life. He loved his family and his boyfriend, he played basketball sometimes, wrote lyrics when his demons were being too loud, liked eating fast food, had a future before himself he both was excited and scared about.
And nothing had prepared him for what was going to happen.
It was the first of December 2024 and everyone remembered that day. That day already used to be special for Tyler as it was his birthday and he just turned eighteen. But this day was even more special since he was celebrating it with Josh. Snowflakes were slowly falling down and he felt like they were in a cheesy romantic movie as they walked down the street lit by Christmas lights. Tyler couldn't help but giggle at everything even though he was freezing.
“Man I love Christmas!” said Josh with a huge smile.
“That's like the fourth time you said it Jish, I think I understood.” giggled Tyler and his boyfriend elbowed him with a fond look.
“I know but this is a really important information okay?”
“Alright babe!” Before he could think against it, the younger boy stood on his toes and kissed Josh's red nose.
A faint blush spread on his cheeks and Tyler felt really proud of himself.
“Anyway, what was it that you planned on for my very special birth-”
Someone brutally ran into Tyler before he could finish his sentence and all the oxygen was cut from his lungs. He almost fell on the floor but Josh gripped his arm, keeping him on his feet. The person that had ran into him didn't even stop and kept running like a mad person. Tyler and Josh looked at each other wide-eyed and the older boy yelled “Don't bother saying sorry asshole!” at them but they already were far away. The people around seemed as surprised as them and Tyler just shrugged when an old woman looked at him questioningly. Josh picked up Tyler's beanie that fell down and put it back on his head until it covered his eyes. “Josh!” laughed the younger boy before putting it back correctly. They were about to start walking again when several people running with the same frenzy as the other one passed by. Quickly, dozens of people seemingly running away from something were invading the sidewalk, confusing the two boys as well as the other pedestrians. Tyler gripped at Josh's arm, panic rising when he heard terrified screams.
“Josh, what's going on?” Tyler started trembling while Josh craned forward, trying to get a hint about what was happening. The crowd of people running was getting thicker every second and a lot of people bumped into them.
“I don't know.” He faced his shaking boyfriend, taking his face in his hands. “We have to run Ty, or else we'll get crushed by the crowd. Can you do that for me?” The younger boy quickly nodded and Josh smiled, kissing his forehead. He took his hand and Tyler held it tightly as if it was his only anchor.
He only had the time to hear Josh's “Let's go!” before they were running like crazy in the direction of movement. It felt like hours of running for Tyler. The panicked crowd made him even more claustrophobic than he already was and only Josh's warm hand kept him going. His lungs were burning and he felt like throwing up. He vaguely recognized the streets they were running down but his concentration was mainly centered on not letting go of Josh's now slippery hand. But then someone ran between them, violently separating their hands and suddenly Josh wasn't there anymore. Panic rose in Tyler's stomach so quickly he felt slightly dizzy. He couldn't slow down, the crowd pushing him despite his best efforts and he found himself only able to scream Josh's name. He felt an anxiety attack starting to rise through his whole body and he almost let himself fall down when a hand gripped his wrist. He turned violently, Josh's name on his lips before realizing it wasn't him. “Mrs Hudge?!” His neighbor gave him a reassuring smile before forcing her way out of the mass, pulling Tyler with her. They finally made it out into a smaller street and the boy took frantic gulps of oxygen, trying to repress the anxiety menacing to explode inside of him.
“You okay boy?” Asked Mrs Hudge's squeaky voice and he nodded the best he could while being hunched, hands on his knees. “I'm sorry but we have to go quickly Tyler, we don't have time to take a break. Come here, I'll get you back home.” She took him by his shoulders and he straightened up, still feeling slightly sick and his panic attack menacing him at every breath he took. “What the hell is happening Mrs Hudge?” He asked as they started running once again, the small woman making them avoid every big streets filled with running people and cars seemingly blocked into traffic.
“Nobody knows exactly but it's bad, you need to get out of town as soon as you can.”
“What about my family?”
“Hopefully they had the same idea we had. At worse you have your phone but not now, stay concentrated on running.”
They didn't exchange any other word, Tyler burning to call his family or Josh now that he remembered his cellphone was in his pocket. They struggled through small streets, sometimes having to go through still terrorized crowds. Finally the brunet recognized his neighborhood, most of the houses free of any cars, some of his neighbors quickly packing or leaving on foot. He was almost tackled down by his father when he saw him and Jay dropped the bag he was carrying before doing the same.
“Thank god you're okay!” exclaimed Chris before hugging Mrs Hudge with a hundred of “thank you”'s. Jay then Zack hugged him, asking him if he was okay to what he answered with a small “yeah”, his anxiety attack still on the border of exploding but repressed by the adrenaline.
“Were are mom and Madie?”
“Kelly went to pick your sister at school, we said we'd meet when we're out of this hell.” answered his father. Mrs Hudge went to her own house after wishing them good luck.
“Jay and Zack, go in the car, I'll get the rest of what we need. Tyler, go in your room and take only the essentials, got it?”
“Yeah.” His answer was breathless but he put himself in action immediately, striding inside the house and up the stairs as quickly as his aching legs allowed it. He quickly took handfuls of clothes, shoving everything he found necessary inside his travel bag, keeping with him his anxiety pills he knew he'd need as soon as the adrenaline wore off. Tyler hesitated a moment before taking the picture of him and Josh he had put on the wall above his desk and shoving it in his jeans' back pocket. He dashed down the stairs and outside the house where his father and brothers waited for him in the car. He threw his bag inside the trunk, closed it and sat in the front. Chris nodded at him before starting the car and pull out on the road. Tyler immediately took his phone in his pocket, ignoring the several missed calls from his father and mother and hitting Josh's contact. He ended up on the message box three times before he gave up and left a message asking for him to call back and tell him if he was safe. His anxiety finally got the best of him, his attack tackling him full force. He vaguely felt his father's hand on his knee and his voice telling him to breathe slowly. His vision blurred, his heart pounding violently in his ears and he felt like choking. It took him until they were out of town to calm down, he still had trouble breathing and felt exhausted. He could hear Jay crying in Zack's arms behind him before realizing they were driving in a field.
“Dad, why are we not on a road?”
“Everyone is stuck on the road, I'm not going to wait in traffic for us to die.”
“Are-are we gonna die?” stuttered his older son and he sent him a worried look before muttering “I hope not.”
“Dad, what is really happening? Were are we going? Why are mom and Madie still not here?” asked Zack and his two brothers turned toward their father with the same questions in their eyes.
Chris sighed. “I'm not sure about what's happening, people were talking about a nuclear breakthrough all over the country, or a nuclear attack, no one really knows. I don't know what we'll be able to do nor how we can escape that kind of stuff, but we're going in Colorado at your aunt and uncle's farm, at least there is no nuclear power plants there. Kelly and Madison will join us there, don't worry, okay?”
Zack and Jay nodded.
“Wait, do you mean we could have been exposed if we stayed in Columbus?”
“That's apparently what made people panic, yes.”
Tyler felt anxiety rising once again inside of him. “Wait wait wait, we have to go back, I lost Josh in the crowd, he needs to know, he has to get out of here!”
“Calm down Tyler, he probably went back to his own family and they left as well.”
“But we don't know that!” He had become almost frantic, gripping his seat.
“We don't have time for that.”
“It's my boyfrie-”
“I am not risking your brother's life nor yours again.” His father's voice was sharp and full of emotion. Tyler closed his mouth and felt guilt rising in his chest, realizing only now that he was ready to risk his family's life for something he wasn't even sure about.
“Sorry.” he murmured sheepishly. Chris softened his voice “I am sorry too honey, if I could I would trust me, I really like that boy. I hope he made it out.”
Tyler felt tears rolling down his cheeks and tried to suppress them the best he could, constantly telling himself “he's not dead, he's not dead, he's not dead, he's not dead.” He looked through the window as they drove toward a future even more unsure than what he would have imagined.