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"You still haven't told them, Titan?" Ganymede asked, grimacing at the way Titan limped, just barely having managed to avoid Enceladus and Mimas trying to tackle him earlier. Normally, they wouldn't even have gotten so close to the oldest one, him being Saturn's favorite and all that. So this... this was an improvement.
The smaller moon didn't even have to say anything. His face must have said enough, based on the way Ganymede's face twisted. "Titan..."
"They don't need to know." He still said confidently, as fake as it was, grumbling when he felt the techtonic forces beneath his surface shift painfully when he straightened back. "They're fine the way things are now, Ganymede."
"Are you, though?"
"You care about me, Ganymede?"
"I'm just saying." The only moon larger than him shrugged, glancing at his side- to the rest of the Saturanian moons, blissfully unaware of the secret the largest amongst them kept. "...Your livings won't survive long if you keep getting impacted by-"
"Don't say that so loud!" Titan pleaded, shoving his hand in front of his mouth. Ganymede didn't even seem angry about it.
Pity. That was pity.
"...He does have a point, you know." Europa, who'd been quiet the entire time, gently cut in, ignoring tha glare Titan send her way. "There is a reason the Earth barely leaves his orbit at all..." The pink moon stretched out her hand, pretending to inspect her nails to have something to do, as she spoke. "All that shoving and constantly moving can't be good for whatever little balance you managed to create... somehow."
They meant well. Titan knew they did.
But at that moment, he really regretted having told those two he had life at all. "Look." He said through gritted teeth, slowly moving his hand away from Ganymede's mouth when he was sure the yellow moon wouldn't speak. "I... I will. Tell them, I mean."
The largest moon snorted. The smallest among them just raised an eyebrow.
Titan huffed, clenching his fists. "I will!" He said defensively, cringing at the way his tone raised in pitch... and then softened, along with his face, when he heard those laughs that seemed so far away... but finally, were just within reach. "...Eventually."
He watched as Phoebe, Pandora and Pan giggled amongst themselves, slowly approaching an unsuspecting Rhea, who was talking happily with Tethys and Iapetus, staring unimpressidely at the little moons. He watched, as his smaller siblings suddenly jumped onto their biggest, and Rhea shrieked, and then laughed, and from somewhere Hyperion made a comment about being 'above such childish acts', and-
They were so casual.
Titan couldn't remember the last time any of the Saturanian moons had been so casual with him.
A larger hand settled uncertainly yet heavily on his shoulder. Titan didn't look away. "...It's sad you're trying so hard, Titan." Ganymede, not helping. Go away. "If you need to hide what is special about you just to spare their feelings, do they even care at all?"
Did they care about Titan at all?
"Of course they do." He mumbled quietly, even if, deep down... Titan knew the truth. "I just... just until..."
Until what? Until they stopped hating him for being the only one Saturn could remember, for some reason? Until he stopped being bossy, or annoying, or anything about himself? Until they forgave him for almost starting a moon revolution?
Until they forgave him for Chrysa-
"Just until everything settles with Saturn."
"Titan..."
"Please, you two?" The green moon finally turned, actually pleading this time. "Please don't tell anyone. Please."
He wasn't ready. His livings weren't, either. They were already so small and precious... he couldn't have that attention on himself.
Not now. Not when the rest of his siblings already disliked him for having his atmosphere, for being Saturn's favorite, for-
Titan couldn't have that kind of attention yet. Not yet. Not until he fixed what he had broken. What right did he have to be so proud of himself for achieving something impossible, when the rest of his fellow moons were still so miserable?
Ganymede and Europa turned to each other hesitantly, very obviously doubting Titan's words- for a good reason. Europa shrugged her shoulders as she glanced at him with something the moon refused to call worry. Ganymede obviously wasn't too fond of this plan of his either.
But, in the end...
"...Fine, Titan." The largest sighed.
"You have our word." Europa unwillingly forced out. "It's not our secret to tell."
Titan breathed in a deep sigh of relief, a weight lifting off his shoulders. Oh, thank the stars. "...Thank you." He breathed, the adrenaline suddenly leaving his body, and causing him to sway. Ganymede caught him when his legs buckled, keeping him upright.
"...Doesn't mean we agree, though." He grumbled out, softer than usual, helping Titan sit next to Europa. The smallest moon scooted to make room, and let her lean on her shoulder.
Normally, Titan would have been embarrassed. But this time, he couldn't find it in himself to care. "That's fine." He sighed, letting his eyes droop. "It's just for a little while, guys."
Just for a little while, he repeated to himself later when he returned, pretending it didn't work when his siblings purposfully stepped out of the way to avoid him.
Just for a little while, he thought again when they returned to Saturn, who tried his best- only to burst into tears when he couldn't say Enceladus' name right, made worse when said moon yelled at him.
Just for a little while, he forced the mantra, over and over again, even when he and Luna had been forced in front of the Sun, representing the rest of their fellow moons against the planets... only to end up watching, as Ganymede and Europa were cast out, and left... taking his secret with them.
A little bit longer, he sobbed when Saturn gently healed the cracks Planet X had left all over his surface, heart fluttering happily despite the pain he was in, as finally... His fellow moons touched instead of shying away from him.
Eventually, Titan swore, feeling uneasy as everyone else discussed why their planets had disappeared from the solar system. He would tell them. He would tell them about the little creatures that couldn't be found anywhere else, that no one knew anything about- because they were his. Titan swore he would.
One day.
But not today.
Where in the cosmos was Triton going?
"Are we sure that's Triton?" Mimas complained, squinting his one eye as much as he could while standing on his tiptoes, trying his best to have a proper look. "Because that looks like Titania to me!"
"Titania has wings, stupid." Dione lightly slapped the back of his head, making the smallest moon grumble. "And her hair is much longer than that."
"It could be Luna?" Rhea gently offered, taking Mimas' shoulders and lovingly pulling him into her arms. The youngest, as much as he pretended he didn't care for it, melted into her embrace anyway. "Or maybe Oberon..."
"You two needed glasses."
"We're not like Saturn!"
"Mimas, be nice..."
"Were are his glasses?" Tethys worriedly asked, unfortunately bringing everyone's attention to their planet. "I don't think I've ever seen him take them off ever since we found out his bad eyesight..." Which, yeah, hadn't been that long at all, the poor ringed giant only just having found out he needed glasses when his moons finally realized he didn't recognize Jupiter from his orbit.
The fact that he had willingly put on the ugly things the moons had clumsily crafted, and then started crying as if he saw his moons for the first time, had said enough.
Titan, as much as he didn't want to... looked up anyway. Grimancing at the sight.
Just like the last time, Saturn sat perfectly still. He had to. There wasn't enough room for all two hundred and seventy four of his moons to orbit properly, causing all of them to orbit so much closer to each other. He... simply couldn't afford a wrong movement. So he didn't move at all.
But Titan really wished he would stop looking at his rings.
"I overheard him saying he didn't want to watch as his rings disappeared." Iapetus shrugged, turning his back to their planet. "Which is stupid, because he hasn't looked away ever since!"
And yet... worriedly, the icy moon opened a single eye, as if double checking to make sure.
It gave Titan something to focus on, at least. "Iapetus, come back into his shadow." Titan gently encouraged, already pulling the little moon back with his gravity. That... took strangely more effort, for some reason. "We don't want your ice to get affected as well... like the others." He made a face, risking a glance at the side to check. Phobos and Deimos had come crying to him earlier, saying Mars' icecaps had all melted away, leaving him with water. And a chance for life with.
Their distress had made him feel... uneasy about his own situation, as he gently soothed their crying and told them to go back before the Sun noticed. Livings weren't that bad... Titan could barely feel his at all.
"Says the moon with the liquid ocean." Even though he complained, the smaller moon thankfully did as Titan asked, stepping behind him. "You arent going to evaporate, are you?"
Wha- why was he getting worried about Titan? He was fine! Sure, his oceans felt hotter than usual- but it was good, he was good!
Even his livings on his surface felt livelier than usual. Titan could actually feel them move, a feeling he simply... felt too overwhelmed to describe. When he had felt that first step... or swim, or whatever, he'd been so happy, Titan could have cried.
The amount of love and pride he'd felt, not just for his livings, but for himself, had grown and bubbled and burst, becoming too much to contain for his body. He had smiled so wide it hurt, turned to Saturn with teary eyes to proudly announce that finally, Titan could feel the creatures on his surface-
Only to remember that no one in his system knew yet. Not his planet, nor any of the moons, because Titan hadn't told them yet. He hadn't earned to tell them yet.
Titan had closed his eyes, pretending to sleep instead.
Those messy feelings aside- his livings were thriving in this orbit, obviously! Which made sense, there was a reason Earth never left the Goldilocks zone. And that was good! It meant Titan could be a better moon for his creatures (Titanlings? No, no, that was awful he needed a better name.) and give them all the warmth and light and perfection they deserved. So what if he felt uncomfortably hot? Who cares?! He was their moon!
He would be okay.
"I'm not going to evaporate, Iapetus." Titan soothed, though he wasn't sure what for- it wasn't like the moon cared about their largest. "It's you and the smaller moons who are in danger."
"Uhm." Tethys coughed. "...You too, Titan." He hesitantly muttered, looking down when the larger looked his way. "Having liquid oceans on your surface and all..."
"Liquid methane." Titan clarified, gently taking the smaller's hand to pull him back as well. "You are the one with water ice, Tethys, try and remain on Saturn's colder side."
"...But it's still liquid."
"Tethys, you're sweet in your worry." Rhea cooed, taking over for Titan- who gladly took it, unwilling to face the heartbreak of confusion any longer- pulled the smaller aside, and pressed a soft kiss into his cheek. "But Titan is larger than us. He'll be okay. Right, Titan?"
The question was asked kindly, just as always. But all the largest could hear it as was You will be alright on your own, right?
"Yes," he replied. I am the largest. I am the favorite.
I am the one with the livings.
For some reason, that thought only had grown more insistent, stubbornly taking root in his heart and softly whispering everytime it fell quiet. It was annoying, and upsetting, because, no, no way, he was not about to become like the old Earth who reminded every chance he got. He didn't need to announce to the solar system he had life! That was so self-centered, so selfish! Especially when his siblings were upset enough as it was! He couldn't draw attention like that, it wasn't nice.
Not now, the moon quietly thought, swallowing the tears of upset the longer the thoughts festered, as he watched Rhea lead Iapetus away. Not today.
One day, Titan would share the news. When it was the right time. Not today. It wasn't his fault there was just no right time!
"That is Luna, I'm sure of it!" Enceladus yelled loudly, bringing him out of his thoughts. "Look how light grey he is! That's too light to be Titania!"
"Luna is with the Earth, stupid." Mimas grumbled back, pushing the larger aside. The more icy moon yelped, but let it happen anyway. "Even with my one eye, I can see that that's Oberon!"
"He already left our sight." Dione groaned loudly, throwing her head back. "Why are you two still going on about this?" The moon put her face into her hands, very obviously tired of orbiting so close to everyone else. "You can't be that bored."
Already having forgotten Titan had been part of that conversation, if they even noticed at all, carrying on as if he had never been there. Titan turned his back towards all of them so they wouldn't see the tears.
Not now, he repeated, closing his wet eyes to focus on his surface, as uncomfortable as it was. To try and feel the little creatures that swam in his oceans, hoping to not feel so alone. Not yet.
It's... it's okay. The moon sighed, giving up on trying to feel their presence, accepting he would be sad for a bit as he hugged himself instead, trying to remember what a hug felt like. That's fine. He was fixing things. Him being invisible meant the other moons got a turn. And that's a good thing. Which meant his life would be just his for a little while longer, no matter how excited he originally had been to share.
It would be selfish to demand they like him anyway.
His oceans were boiling.
Titan winced, weakly letting his head fall back into his arms in hopes of blocking out the light- but no matter how he shifted and turned, he couldn't escape. The heat was everywhere, a pressure that had become more and more insistent over the last few days, weighing heavier on his surface while heating up any liquid he had. The increase had been slow, so slow he hadn't even noticed it at first- but when he finally did, it had been all Titan could focus on.
That, along with his Titanians.
...
Nope, not it either.
The moon grumbled tiredly, but couldn't do much else. His ice asteroids he had already given away, he was in Saturn's shadow, so there wasn't much he could do.
Except feel.
His overheated surface, his heavy atmoshphere.
...And the little creatures Titan slowly but surely had started feeling on his surface again, much to his joy. Their activity on his surface, whatever it was, had increased signigicantly- and that was good, right? They were getting stronger! Strong enough to move more! So surely that was a good developm-
The little moon yelped when gravity suddenly grabbed him, the gentle hold causing him to have whiplash from the stark contrast from the harsh movement of being pulled forward. He was roughly, quickly, pulled back into the Sun's flames, the sudden movements making his stomach roll-
"And what do you think you are doing?" Sun asked, his piercing gaze glaring daggers into his soul. Titan shuddered, but didn't have all that energy for more. He was... weirdly fatigued, ever since the pressure on his surface increased. Or when his ice started melting, increasing the volume of his lakes. Hey, liquid is liquid. "Hiding behind Saturn- plotting against me again!"
Did the Sun have to be so paranoid, though? "Sun, I wasn't doing anything." The moon tiredly said, forcing himself to meet the star's exhausted gaze- frowning when he watched as his face twitched with surprise. What? "I'm not used to so much warmth... I was trying to cool down."
"Sun, please." Saturn seemed to snap out of his trance behind him, exhaustedly trying to get his moon back from his star. "Can I have my moon back now? He's already not well..."
Wha- yes he was? Titan was better than ever! Where did Saturn get that idea? He was just a bit dizzy was all...
And overwhelmed. Sun's light almost blinded him. His oceans bubbled from being so much closer, so much hotter so fast, burning his methane into vapor... and other things. His heavy atmosphere weighted his mind.
"..." Sun sighed tiredly... but yet, did as he was asked, and released his gentle grip. Titan, too dazed to react, fell- but Saturn caught him instantly. "...Congratulations on your ice melting, Titan." he mumbled, turning away to probably terrorize someone else.
Oh yeah... he supposed that was why he felt so heavy...
"Where is the ice asteroid I gave you, Titan?" Saturn's voice was weak and shaky, giving away how unwell he felt at the moment. Needing to constantly be aware of the moons' orbits must have taken its toll on him- something Titan should have been helping with. It's the least he could do to make up for his presence. "You know you icy moons need to be careful... you don't want to be like the ice giants." His voice broke near the final part. Titan didn't say anything about the single tear he felt drip onto his back.
"Most of us have ice, Saturn." The moon weakly mumbled, hoping to gently direct his planet's attention where it should be- not on Titan, not yet, not until everything was equal and right again. Which it wasn't. So not yet. "Enceladus, and Iapetus, and-"
"-And Tethys, and Dione, and Rhea and Mimas." Saturn finished for him, as if wanting to make that Titan knew that Saturn knew by now. It reminded him of the desperate pleading, the crying, the promising that yes he loved his moons, and yes Saturn was trying his best, just give him a moment-
A moment Titan hadn't given him, instead choosing to take the moons and leave.
"And Hyperion, and Phoebe, and most of my little moons, Titan." The ringed planet finished, gently putting the largest moon back in his orbit once they returned. "I know. But you are an icy moon as well, my tiny friend." With those words, Saturn pulled an ice asteroid out of seemingly nowhere, and gently pushed it between his hands until Titan grabbed them. "And an ocean too! So you need to be extra careful! I heard water makes it grow even hotter..."
No- no!
Why was he- Titan was not special for having an ocean! Enceladus probably had more water than he did! He wasn't- no no no-
His core speed up, painfully beating against his already heavy chest, causing the panic to spike, and climb, and stiffen his limbs. Titan pushed himself up, preparing to tell Saturn no, no no, don't say that his water didn't matter it didn't matter it-
But it did.
His oceans housed life.
The longer the silence stretched on, the harder Titan had to fight his tears, especially with the loving way Saturn kept looking at him. The words were there, on the tip of his tongue, I have life, I have life, ready to be announced to the universe and finally be known. Adrenaline flooded his being, making his breath hitched, almost giving Titan the courage to say it out loud.
But not now. Not today. Now was not the time.
"...Alright, Saturn." The moon mumbled weakly, looking to the side so he no longer had to endure that adoring look his planet had.
His heated tears evaporated on the asteroid the moment they fell as Titan buried his face into the cold, searching for relief. The movement on his surface, which had been frantic and urgent from the moment Sun had grabbed him, finally relaxed, more and more... until it calmed to a point Titan couldn't feel them again once more.
Soon, he promised his precious little creatures through the tears. One day, I promise, I will share your existence. One day.
But not now, was his last thought, as the sound of breathing from all around, combined with his already-heavy body and mind, managed to lull him into some state of rest. Not today.
Chrysalis would have been the first person he would have told, if she were still around.
Ice had melted into his hair from where Titan was resting his head on the asteroid, wetting the strands and sticking to the tops of his surface, bringing sweet, wonderful relief to his overheated skin. He... probably should move out of the Sun's light.
But Titan felt too heavy to do so.
The moon could barely keep his eyes open, his brain fried from the amount of heat. His water bubbled, steam rose from his ice-
His creatures moved, non-stop. Fast, quick, more so than usual.
That... that had to be a good thing, right? That he could feel them move meant they were stronger...? Titan hoped that was what it meant. It was just him and his Titans, after all.
......No, he didn't like that name.
Chrysalis would have named them. She would have given them the perfect name, he thought deliriously, groaning when a particular harsh ray of sunlight hit his eyes. His big sister would have adored the creatures on his surface, would have made sure the entire solar system knew of him and his livings, and how proud she was because he was so special, and-
...No, no. Titan didn't get to be special yet.
"...Hey, Titan?" He heard Rhea somewhere next to him- were their orbits supposed to be so close already? The moon tried to use his voice to greet her back- but for strange reason, all he could manage was slurred nonsense.
The smaller moon leaned over his head to get into his blury field of vision, her worry clear as day on her features. "Hey." Rhea mumbled, leaning down to quickly kiss his forehead. "You look pale, Titan. You should get out of the Sun."
But his livings were thriving...
He mumbled out some gibberish he wasn't even sure himself of what it meant, twitching and weakly turning to the side after to ignore her. What? The Saturanian moons didn't like him yet. And that was okay. There was no way Titan would make them spend time with him just because he couldn't handle a little heat.
"...I'm going to get Iapetus to help me move you, okay?" The smaller spoke, seeming to sense the largest among them had lost his ability to move out of his orbit. Rhea didn't wait for a reply, already speeding off.
Ugh... there he goes, making stuff about himself again. When Rhea should have been lavishing under Saturn's attention instead. Stupid Titan.
It took all the strenght he had to push himself onto his shaky arms- but Titan, not able to stand the thought of burdening his fellow moons any further, forced his body to move. Okay. Deep breaths...
Fingers. He could move his fingers. Just barely, but he could. So... now his hand.
Titan groaned, and it took some effort... but through stubborness, he lifted his hand... his shaky arms... pushed himself up-
-Aaaaaaand immediately lost his balance and fell. Great. Wonderful. Excellent. Just as he wanted.
The moon groaned, but didn't have the energy to try and push himself up again. He felt... too heavy to try.
His atmosphere had been feeling heavier and heavier recently... was that due to his life? Is that just a thing they did the stronger they got? No wonder Earth barely left his orbit... Titan didn't want to either.
Hands slipped underneath his armpits, making the moon whine. Too much, too much, it was too much strangely- there was already so much going on on his surface, he didn't need more, he was already boiling let him go-
"Easy there, Titan." Iapetus mumbled, lifting him up from behind while Rhea got in front of him. "We have to get you somewhere colder."
The movement made his vision swim.
The poor moon fell into Rhea's arms when it became too much, probably crushing his poor sister with his weight- but Rhea, bless her heart, didn't say anything, instead shifted so she could take it. "Tethys, can you grab his ice asteroid?" She called over his shoulder while Iapetus lifted Titan's arm, and slid it over his shoulder.
"I, uhm..." The smallest among them sounded uncertain. "It... already melted, Rhea!"
"...That fast?"
"He can have mine until Saturn can pull more." The third-largest offered, the words barely registering through Titan's muddy thoughts. But they did. And he shook his head.
"N-no..." He tried to protest, to push away and insist he was fine- but he could barely move. The constant movement from his livings wasn't helping, overwhelming his already fried senses-
But no, no. That was good, that was good. They were getting stronger. Titan just needed to do the same.
...And yet...
"Aw, Titan, what's wrong?" Rhea asked, cupping his cheek to gently wipe one of the tears away. The gesture was... achingly familiar, Titan mourned, heavy eyes slipping closed. "Don't cry."
"Titan is crying?" He heard Dione, having gotten closer when she heard the commotion. Why did she sound so worried? That wasn't right, Dione wasn't like that... "Is he hurt?"
He almost blurted out what he suspected to be the cause.
Almost.
But the moon kept his lips sealed and stopped struggling as the rest dragged him away instead.
Not now. Not yet.
"......Are we sure this is because of his ice melting?" Titan came to slowly, barely clinging to conciousness- and not caring to listen when he felt that heavenly cold press into his face and neck. "I have more water than he does- and I'm fine."
"Well- what else could it be?" Mimas' voice was loud, far too loud for his weakened senses. Titan whined, leaning closer into the ice pressed into his neck. "There isn't much more..."
"Is it because of his atmosphere, then?" Enceladus wondered out loud, gently dapping what had originally been his ice asteroid onto Titan's brow, hoping to cool him back down. The largest heard him wince at the sizzling sounds it made when it came in contact with his overheated surface. "I heard they can trap heat..."
"Ah- yeah! Like Venus, right? The super hot planet!"
Titan was most certainly not like Venus.
Venus' chance at life was zero. Titan's was not.
"...I think we need more ice asteroids."
Mimas grumbled. "Again?" He asked, sounding annoyed- oh great, there goes Titan. Giving them more to do. When the two should have been worrying about themselves... it wasn't just Titan that was special, after all. "I'll go ask Satur-"
"Don't." Dione appeared out of nowhere, seemingly- or had she been there the entire time? Gravities all blurred together... "He's staring at his rings again."
Chrysalis...
His water bubbled and smoked. Titan weakly coughed, wincing when the asteroid held onto his surface heated up. He let out a pained gasp when... something happened in his oceans because of his livings, making his core stutter painfully. Ow, ow... what were they doing down there?
"Hey, no no-" Enceladus panicked, not sure if he was awake or simply dreaming- but it didn't matter.
Because in face of the pain, thankfully... Titan felt himself slipping anyway.
Something else cold pressed into his stomach, making the moon let out a shaky sigh. He could tell steam rose due to the contact, floating up in his face- but he didn't care. It felt so... good...
It must have for his creatures too.
Titan couldn't feel them again.
"What's it like? Having life?" Ganymede asked one day during moon club while laying on his stomach, letting an asteroid drift between his two hands. "Can you feel them?"
"I, uhm-" Panicked, Titan first looked around to make sure no one else had heard him. When he was sure it was just them, he relaxed. Good. "...I can't feel them, actually." He admitted sheepishly. Smiling awkwardly when Ganymede raised an eyebrow.
"How do you know you have life, then?"
"Earth's little Earthling. He went onto my surface to find them!"
"...Willingly?"
"..."
"No way."
"Oh, shut up." Titan pouted, face turning red. He turned his gaze away when Ganymede's stupid grin widened, unwilling to deal with the embarrassment. Yeah, okay, maybe it hadn't been too nice to force the poor guy to look for signs of life- but he had actually found it! And showed Titan one of his livings! So there!
"You?" The largest moon seemed to find it hilarious, barely containing his giggles while trying to speak. "Mister Goody Two Shoes? Used the fact that you're larger and forced an Earthling onto your surface?"
"It was for the greater good!" The smaller defended himself- only to remember to remember they weren't alone, and cover his mouth. Yeah, alright, he was a bit paranoid- but no one needed to know yet!
Now wasn't the moment, Titan thought, glancing at his board where all of their problems with their planets were listed. "Favoritism" being the one with Saturn. "How else was I supposed to know?" He quietly added, pouting. "They're too small to feel."
"So you won't feel them until they develop like the Earth's?" Ganymede booed. "Boring."
"They're perfect." So what if he can't? They're his. And Titan was proud of that.
"Until they die." The largest deadpanned, accidentally crushing the asteroid he'd been playing with. "And you won't know because you can't feel them on your surface."
The smaller moon flinched. His fingers twitched with the nerves from the thought alone. Right... livings have short lives. "...Astrodude said they'll live much longer than the Earthings." He mumbled.
"I mean when they all die." Ganymede shrugged, not noticing the effects of his words, as he turned to his back, and looked up at the sky. "The extentions, or whatever."
"...You mean extinction?" How was Ganymede a moon of Jupiter? Titan shook his head. "Surely I would feel that."
"I hope not, for your sake." The largest moon sounded a tad bit serious as he spoke up, catching him off guard. "I saw when Earth lost his dinosaurs... it wasn't a pretty sight, Titan."
It hadn't, indeed. Titan hadn't seen it happen- but he'd heard the planets talking. Saturn had been crying non-stop, about how his 'baby died again'. For a moment, he actually thought the ringed planet remembered Chrysalis finally.
But then he cleared up. Asked Jupiter to take his moons to go tend to the Earth. Had left Titan in charge because he was the largest.
...Which was exactly why no one could know yet! He had to stop being the favorite first, all moons deserved an equal chance at love!
Even... even Chrysalis.
"That won't happen." The green moon insisted, laying down next to the yellow one. He hoped not, at least, even if he often wondered what his creatures were doing down there... were they confused as to why Titan was often somewhere else? Were they too cold? Did they need light? "I have Saturn to block out asteroid impacts."
"...When are you going to tell your planet, anyway?"
When the rest of the Saturanian moons no longer hated him for their differences.
"Not yet, Ganymede." Titan mumbled, unable to help the smile that formed when the yellow moon groaned loudly next to him.
One day. But not today.
Bubbling.
Titan woke up to the sensation of bubbling.
Boiling.
Something was boiling.
Something was heavy, and on fire, and hot hot hot, and, and-
Awareness slammed into him, together with all his sensations.
He was boiling.
Fire.
And Titan screamed.
Multiple sources of gravity around him rippled and tugged, adding to the painful sensations attacking his core- Titan couldn't think, he couldn't think, what was-
Panic.
The creatures on his surface and in his oceans were going insane, panicked moving left and right while trying to escape the boiling seas.
....His livings.
HIS L I V I N G S -
The moon screamed out a sob, lifting his heavy and shaky arms into his hair to pull, pull, to try and overpower the fact that he was burning, burning, on fire, in flames, boiling and-
His livings were boiling.
His waters, his everything, oh my stars MAKE IT STOP-
"Titan?!" The moon cried when overwhelming gravity wrapped around his own, weighting him down further and adding to the agony- Saturn, no, no no, let him go, let him go, let him go-
They were trying to escape his oceans.
His poor creatures were burning with him, trying to climb out the lakes and onto an icy surface- but there was no ice for them to climb onto, all of it having melted under the Sun's harsh flames. The little creatures were forced to breathe in the incredibly heavy methane, and nitrogen, and everything else that weighted him down, and- and-
They were dying.
They were dying.
And Titan might as well.
The moon cried out, curling up and falling over when the weight became too much- fire, fire, fire everywhere, seizing his body and cutting off his breathing, choking him on his own atmosphere. Tears as red as blood fell non-stop, dripping onto ringed fingers, adding to the screams all around that caused his ears to ring.
Wait. No. That was Titan.
His surroundings lit up gold, that beautiful, familiar gold- blinding the already hysterical moon who didn't even focus on himself, only on the tiny, fragile creatures, his creatures, his livings, his-
"Titan what's wrong?!" He could barely make out Saturn's voice through the fog, too busy screaming his lungs out. "What is happening?!"
What is- what wasn't happening?! He was on fire, he was melting, he was losing-
"They're dying." Titan sobbed through the overwhelming pain, squeezing his eyes shut as the boiling worsened, bubbled, covered him in steam- boiling them with it. "They're dying."
"What- who is dying?!" His planet hysterically asked, increasing the amount of magic he poured, freezing when his moon cried and twitched in his palms. "Titan?!"
"Saturn- Saturn what's going on?!"
"Is your moon okay?"
"Saturn what is happening?!" Multiple voices from all around screamed, shouted, what is-
Titan didn't hear it.
His creatures were wailing in agony, trying to flee the only home they had ever known. The home Titan was supposed to keep safe- but had turned against them instead.
The feeling of one of their tiny, microscoping corpses sloshing in his lakes, only for a seconds before it started melting, made him lose his mind.
"They're dying, they're dying-"
"Who is dying?!"
Smaller hands attempted to stop his trashing and hold him down. Titan wailed, blindly pushing their withering touches away.
His core exploded and his surface broke.
Ice cracked through half and sank, burning up more methane and poisoning his skies. Choking his creatures to death.
"...Ganymede?"
"J-Jupiter, I-"
"Ganymede."
Titan coughed up something sticky and red, draining him of whatever little sanity he had.
His core shattered.
He screamed once more.
"...He has WHAT?!"
Stop screaming, stop screaming, Saturn Saturn please stop- make it stop, make it stop, makeitstop-
Titan sobbed and cried, clawing with bloodied hands at his ears. He burned, he was on fire, he was in flames-
And so were they.
"He made me promise not to say anything, I'm sorry!"
"Don't be mad at him! Just help Titan- Jupiter please!"
Their tiny bodies broke apart and melted away, or boiled and became one with his horrible waters once more- only to wither anyway, to become one with the horrible, horrible gas. Their movements were panicked, so panicked, even though they weren't intelligent and were so, so small-
He could feel it.
Their panic, blind and raw, far too innocent to understand why their home suddenly turned against them.
Titan's throat was raw from how much he had been bawling his eyes out, adding onto the blinding pain in his head- but he didn't care, he didn't care, no, no no no please please please stop, please stop, please-
Hands of similar size took his own.
Blue and Green.
Someone with life.
"Titan."
"Earth." the moon wailed between gaspy breaths, squeezing his hands so tight it must have hurt. But the planet showed no reaction at all- probably, Titan couldn't move from his curled up position. "They're dying, they're dying-"
"I know." The Earth squeezed back, the touch somehow not adding to the agony he was in. "I'm sorry."
Titan could barely see at all, his vision far too wet and teary to do so- but what he did see was the mystical mix of blue and green, surrounded by that brilliant gold that had risen and increased. Saturn- Saturn, he, mama could fix it, his planet could fix it, why didn't Titan go to him before-? Save them, save them, something-
Now. Today. Now now now right now please please please, Saturn, mama, please-
A bunch of the creatures sank down onto the bottom, all the way to his core, motionless.
"They won't stop."
Earth had gone through similar tragedies. Earth, the golden planet, he had gone through similar things- and they had survived. So whatever he had done, Earth had to tell him, so Titan could safe-
One, microscopic creature broke out of the water.
Only to be crushed by his far too dense atmosphere.
"And you won't, either." Earth declared, his soft voice somehow overpowering the ringing of his ears. His hands so, so gentle out of fear of agigating him further, moved slowly, tenderly pressing into his painful sides to pull him up. Titan gasped, eyes flying open and allowing more tears to drip- or evaporate.
But the planet, uncaring, pulled him into a hug anyway. "You are going to endure." He whispered, letting his hand cup the back of Titan's head, and pushing it into his chest. Letting him hear the chaos on Earth's surface, the developed, intelligent Earthlings-
Something his Titaneans would never get to experience.
"I can't."
"You can." Earth insisted. "You will. For them, Titan."
One by one, the creatures gave up fighting.
Sinking down to the dark depths.
"You will survive, and be there for them as they go." Earth whispered into his ear, his grip onto the moon's shoulders tightening. It gave Titan just enough strentgh to twist, burying his face into Earth's shoulder, letting his bloody tears stain the cloth through horrified cries. "You will let them go, and be present for them Titan. You are their moon. Their surface. Their everything." The planet let out a shaky breath, whichafter he placed a kiss into Titan's sweaty hair. Completely ignoring the steam that came from the smaller, seizing body in his arms. "And you, holding them as they let out their final breaths, will be the last thing they'll ever know. You, Titan."
Energy buzzed, causing his eyes to roll back. Titan choked on a breath that felt like knives.
Hundreds of eyes pierced into his soul, a witness to the end of his precious life. Titan gripped the other's shirt tightly despite how much his hands protested the movement, letting out a shuddering sob when that gentle... familiar hand tangled into his hair, lovingly scratching his scalp. "For them, Titan, for them." They softly repeated, rocking his body gently. "You will survive for them, and hold them as they go."
When was the last time any of his moons had loved him like that? Why did he only get it now, when he was losing what mattered most, when he was in agony, when everything hurt and burned and-
Just like when she had done.
She would have loved his creatures.
"Chrysalis." The moon sobbed deliriously, shutting his eyes as his body shuddered and slipped, head landing on her chest, getting to hear her frantic and soothing heartbeat one, final time. His body twitched, then shuddered, he couldn't stop, he- "Chrissy, I'm sorry-"
"For them." She repeated, kissing his hair over and over again to soothe the hurt away. "Survive. Survive for them, Titan."
Gold wrapped around the blisters and burns on his surface, attempting to make it stop.
Fire burst.
The boiling came to it's highest peak.
"......He has life?"
"You two knew?!"
"Now is not the time, Dione!"
The creatures he held, protected, and loved stopped fighting back.
Fire calmed.
The bubbling lessened.
".......It hurts....."
"I know."
The chaos in his surface calmed.
Silence.
"Chrysa....."
"Be there for them." That calming voice murmured, going down with him when the weight became too much. "That is your job. You are their moon."
"I can't."
"You can. You will."
The frantic movements dulled down...
"For them, you will survive." Chrystalis whispered, hugging the bawling moon as tight as she could without pulling him into her decaying gravity as well, kissing his face over and over while soothingly rocking him up and down. "For them, little brother. For me."
As all activity and movement on his surface stopped and faded away, one last time.
His life becoming one with their moon once more.
His body twitched, and shuddered, and whatever else was out there, over and over again.
A soft, pained whimper slipped past his lips. "Shh." The planet holding him breathed into his hair, ignoring the awful smell of methane. "Shh, shhh..."
Titan didn't have it in him to scream any longer.
The pain had dulled to a tolerable degree, no longer burning him alive. His cracked, bleeding surface dried, finally sealing up with the magic his planet poured into them. His lakes, his rivers and his oceans stopped it's angry bubbling. His surface stopped falling apart.
Even if the crushing weight of his atmoshphere remained.
Somehow, tears still soaked into the fabric he had buried his face into. The little moon hiccuped weakly. His body had been wrung out, drained, and abused in every way imaginable- left an empty husk in the aftermath.
Empty was certainly right.
Still, his body trashed the second something cold pressed into his neck. Earth held him down gently, keeping up the gentle rocking, to soothe him back down. "It's just Luna." He whispered, lifting his head just enough so his moon could comfortingly rest his tiny hand into his hair. "Just Luna. He has ice asteroids."
"Hey." His friend, as if talking to a wild animal, murmured, pouring cold water into his hair. Flinching back when steam sizzled and flowed the second the water made contact. "...Oh."
And yet... it felt heavenly.
The moon melted into the planet, hiccuping once more. The frantic beating of his core slowed, no longer painfully worsening his headache... even if it had shattered into a thousand itty bitty pieces.
More wetness slipped down, onto Earth's surface.
Earth tightened his hold, leaning down so he could whisper into the moon's ear.
"...Is it over?"
It took the little moon a moment to process the question. The painful pulsing of his mind turned cloudy, fluffier, a small mercy against all that earlier agony- even if it did make it harder to think. Weakly, he managed the smallest of nods.
Earth hummed. "Did anything survive?" He gently asked, squeezing when Titan tensed.
His shoes were carefully pulled off by soft hands, just so Luna could rub the cold asteroids onto them in effort to bring the fever down. As soothing as it was... it brought tears to his eyes once more. "I d-don't know." Titan tearfully admited, letting out a soft sob into Earth's chest. "I don't know."
It didn't. It couldn't have. There... there was no way. Not after all that.
"Yes you do." The planet insisted, pulling him more upright against himself. "Close your eyes, Titan." He instructed, resting his chin on top of his head. "Feel them."
No.
"I don't want to." He cried, shaking his head with whatever little energy remained. No, no no, he- he couldn't. He couldn't. Not again. Titan wouldn't survive feeling their lifeless bodies in his waters again. "I can't."
"You can, and you will." Earth breathed, the slow rocking coming to a halt. "One more time. For them."
With some more coaxing, gentle yet insistent... Titan, unwillingly, finally did as he was told. And closed his eyes. "Sink down." Earth murmured, restarting his gentle swaying once more, more because of a stim than to comfort. "Feel your surface, Titan."
Heavy.
His breath hitched. Awareness slipped down, slowly, in ways it never had before... reforming in fragments on his surface.
Whatever of the little rocky ice had remained.
His atmosphere was a crushing weight, far too heavy to bear. Tinting his skies a sickly green.
Nothing. It was so, so quiet....
"Feel them." The planet's voice, distant and cloudy, reminded him, forcing his conciousness into his lakes.
His overheated, boiled lakes.
Hot. Hot. So hot.
Titan shuddered. Still, and lifeless.
There was heat.
There was... some ice, even through all of that, little melted chunks in the water while the tops remained frozen solid.
Itty, microscopic, lifeless bodies.
Steam. So much steam.
A ripple in the water.
The moon tensed. He let out a sharp, shocked gasp.
Movement.
It was small. It was weak. It was fragile, and barely there.
But that was movement.
His body sagged against Earth with a loud, relieved sob, uncaring of the pain he was still in, as he was at least drained of the stress, terror and hopelessness. Seeing that reaction, Earth nodded. "Did anything survive?" He repeated.
"Yes." The moon cried, overwhelmed by his relief. The tears came again, gentler this time- no longer burning his eyes, or his cheeks.
Something had survived.
Something had survived whatever had happened down there.
That made all that agony worth it.
...Except that Titan could still feel all those eyes staring down at him. Overwhelming him even more than he already was.
The moon could barely think- was barely aware, and yet... he... his system. His system was still here.
He was still in Saturn's hands. His planet was still trying to heal him, despite having no clue what was going on. Titan... Titan had to tell him now. He had no choice.
Today was that one day.
"Woah- woah." Earth held him back when the moon tried to move, ignoring any sound of protest he made. "No, Titan, stay down."
"You just survived a mass extinction, Titan." Luna worriedly added, pouring some ice down his arms. "Your body needs time to-"
The moon stubbornly shook his head, shakily trying to push himself up again. It was easier said than done, considering everything hurt- ow, ow, ow-
Now. Now. Now.
"I- okay, okay, hold on." Earth seemed to give up on holding him back, loosening his hold to lift the moon up himself. Titan didn't care how he moved, as long as he did. As long as he- got to explain, and, and fix things, and- maybe a hug, he was hurt and ow, and-
Saturn was staring at him with tears in his eyes.
The Saturanian moons- all of the moons, stared down at him with different mixes of shock and horror. The smaller ones were crying, searching for comfort in each other, and the larger ones-
Rhea had her mouth covered in horror. Mimas was hiding behind her, half his face pressed into her back. Enceladus, Iapetus and Tethys all held a bunch of ice shards but didn't move. Dione was on Saturn's shoulder, hand on his cheek.
None of them said a word.
Okay. Okay. This... this is fine, Titan. The little moon shuddered. Okay, just... just tell them. Explain yourself. And then... and then he could give in to the call of sleep, and hopefully rest for at least a couple orbit cycles. First explain. He owed them that much.
"I..." He tried, wincing at how hurt his throat felt.
The words he had longed to say for so long.
I have life.
"..." He forced himself to look up.
Into their worried, loving gazes.
The words he'd been trying to force out died, along with everything else.
A heartbreaking cry took its place instead.
Saturn pulled him against his face in an instant, healing magic lighting up once more. "Oh, oh, my baby." His planet murmured, voice thick with tears. "My sweet, brave baby."
"Saturn..." Titan wailed exhaustedlty against him, melting into the gentle feeling of a large finger rubbing his back. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I didn't-"
"Shh." His planet shushed, kissing his hair. "It's over now. It's over now." He whispered, more for his own comfort.
Seeming to take this as their cue- a bunch of smaller, much smaller, bodies joined their hug instantly- forcing themselves between Saturn's hands to get to their largest, touching his frail body as carefully as they dared. It was overwhelming, so overwhelming, so much, so much-
Not enough.
Ice was pressed all over his surface, soothingly rubbed or poured, while those without asteroids just hugged him instead, pressing kisses into his skin to make him feel better while tears dripped onto the hurt. That love, all that love, brought a fresh wave of grief, worsening his crying, causing the poor moon to be rendered voiceless.
They didn't care. Nobody asked about his life. Nobody asked why he hadn't told.
Not today. Not yet.
Because their attention, their love, finally, was focused on holding Titan instead.
