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Phoenix was a cartridge razor type of guy.
Yeah, he grew up in a household where double-edge was the norm because his dad was a traditional man, but he himself never really started shaving until he was... what, 17-years old? That was in 2009, when cartridge razors were everywhere. Somehow, his body grew but his facial hair forgot to kick in until one year before he could even legally vote.
Even then, it was just a soft peach fuzz at first; nothing too impressive. Over the years, though, it gradually became routine for him as he used to get away with shaving only once a week, to having to shave once every four days, to having to shave every one or two days. Other than his disbarred era - when he simply couldn't care less about his appearance or his own life - he always maintained a routine to shave either every day or every other day.
Now, why in the world was he thinking about his shaving habits?
Well, for starters, it was because he was going to work soon, and he needed to shave to maintain a professional appearance. He didn't necessarily had the baby face from his 20s anymore, but he still looked damn good for a man who's approaching 40 within the next couple of years. He could honestly get away with looking like he's in his mid-30s until he's like 48-years old or something; just as long as he kept shaving, maintaining his health, and probably not go bald. He checked: his father was blessed in the hair department... thank God for that, or else Trucy's beanie would have to be used in court a lot more often.
Secondly, it was because... for once, it was NOT him who'd be shaving! Well, sort of. Yes, he's the one who'd be getting shaved. Was he the one to perform the action of shaving his face? Nope! That current duty belonged to none other tha—
"I can hear you monologuing in your mind, Nick," Maya's voice said as she lathered her hand with shaving foam. "Quit it already and look at me when I'm trying to shave you."
"I thought you were a professional?" Phoenix asked, raising an eyebrow as he teased his wife. "What was all of that talk about you being the best shaver in the world all about?"
"If I had told you the truth, would you have allowed me to shave you?"
"Point taken, but yes, I still would've," Phoenix replied back, snorting as Maya began to cover his face with the foam. "You're not fooling anyone, Maya; I've known you for almost 15 years. You've never shaved anything in your life. I was just playing along with you."
Maya raised an eyebrow at him before she had a playful smirk on her face. "Never shaved anything...? I don't think you yourself can believe your own words, seeing as I proved to you that I know how to shave."
Phoenix burst out laughing but Maya made sure not let him move too much. "Okay, okay, wow... you wouldn't have made such jokes five years ago."
"And you wouldn't have let me shave you five years ago," Maya countered, covering his neck as she applied more foam, just in case it was too little. "Guess we've both changed, huh?"
"Definitely. For the better too, I'd think."
Maya snorted. "Well, one of us, at least..."
"I'm glad you're self-aware enough to give me credit, Maya."
"Nick!"
"Sorry, sorry," Phoenix chuckled, smiling at her as she pouted but continued to apply generous amounts of foam on him. "I shouldn't be pissing off someone with a cartridge razor, huh?"
"Nope," Maya shook her head. "Especially someone who can leave you with a goatee instead of leaving you clean-shaven."
Phoenix groaned. "Oh, God, I'd look so ridiculous with a goatee."
"You've had your looks every now and then," she replied back, washing her hand as she picked up the cartridge razor and let the water run in the sink to make sure the blades were still smooth before she dabbled the razor in the water around and pulled it out. "Now, stay still or lose your lips... or nose... or eyes."
"I'm starting to think I might truly be getting the best possible barber to shave my face."
"Maybe you should've started thinking that a long time ago," Maya laughed. "Now, be serious, or I'm gonna cut you."
Phoenix laughed. "Alright, alright..."
The blades traveled across his cheek quite smoothly as he looked at Maya, who was focusing on making sure that she didn't accidentally cut him. Phoenix surprisingly almost never leaves nicks - no pun intended - or cuts on his face whenever he shaves. She wasn't sure if that was due to him having excellent control of his hands when he shaves or if he had some force field protecting him from being cut, but it was actually quite impressive of him. Maybe she could match that level of skill on the first try?
"You're surprisingly good at this," Phoenix said, hands in his pockets as she made the blades glide downwards on his chin area. "Any other experience shaving a man before this?"
"Hm, well, there was this one guy who visited my home once..."
Phoenix's eyes narrowed. "Are you serious?"
Maya laughed. "Relax, Nick, I'm just kidding."
That made the lawyer pursed his lips as he suddenly looked sheepish at his outwardly jealous behavior. That was probably the uglier side of him coming out. The thought of Maya shaving someone's beard - some RANDOM guy, to be exact - actually made him fume a little on the inside, but he just shrugged it off to act nonchalant.
"...You still haven't really answered my question."
Now, it was her turn to look at him weirdly. "Would me shaving a fictional man who never existed really bother you that much, Nick?" She asked, as if she's somewhat curious to hear his answer as she began to swipe across the mustache area, letting the blades do the work. "I'm just kidding. No, you're the only one."
"...Ah," was all Phoenix could say before he cleared his throat. "Yeah, I knew that. I was just teasing you."
"Sure, you were..."
"I'm serious."
"So am I, Nick," she teased, sticking her tongue out as she took him by the chin and forcefully turned him to the side as he stifled a yelp from his wife's sudden strength. "Now, show me that beautiful unshaven cheek of yours before I leave you half-shaved."
"Maya, please don't refer to it as that," the lawyer said, as if he's trying not to think of a certain visual image. "Beautiful unshaven cheek is... yeah, you get the picture."
"I don't, but I guess you can draw me one," she replied back, shaving across his jawline. "You are quite good at drawings and paintings, huh? Maybe you can draw me like one of your... past escapades."
"My past escapades...? You mean like running across a burning bridge to get to you?" Phoenix said, tilting his head a little as she rinsed the foam off the razor before going back to work on him. "Or... like countless other things that I can't even be bothered to remember right now?"
"Hey, I didn't asked you to do all of that for me, now."
"No," Phoenix admitted. "But I'd do it all over and over again for an eternity if I had to."
"...I wouldn't want you to," Maya softly whispered, barely stopping herself from lowering the razor to kiss him on the lips. "You know I want nothing more than for you to be safe and sound, Nick. You shouldn't have had to... do all those things," she paused before adding. "For me."
"...It's worth it. You're worth it."
"...Nick, don't make me sentimental," Maya softly said, a hint of genuine appreciation and some humor in her voice. "You're not being a very good client for trying to make your barber cry."
"Guilty as charged," Phoenix chuckled, gently tilting her head upwards so she doesn't seem too sad. "Sorry, you probably don't want to remember those things, huh? It's alright."
Maya pouted. "...I'm expecting payments for this."
"You'll get it," he replied back with a cheeky smile. "Anything you want? You'll get it. Would you like burgers? Steel Samurai figurines?" Phoenix then added a deliberate pause before he gives her a playful smirk. "Or... maybe me?"
She couldn't help but burst out laughing at that. "NICK! Don't make me laugh or I'll actually shave your eyebrows off!"
"Alright, alright, I'll stop," the lawyer finally says as he tilts his head to allow her access to shave his neck. "Just... uh, well, I wasn't lying when I said you'd get anything you want."
"Including a trip to Monte Carlo?"
Phoenix winced. "Yeah, uh... you'll get that eventually, but I guess I gotta actually start demanding bonuses from clients for a few months..."
"I'm just joking... but I wouldn't mind going somewhere with you," she admitted, going with the grain for now to shave down his facial hair. "It's been some time since we've been somewhere that isn't Japanifornia... or even anywhere outside the city."
"You have any locations in mind?" Phoenix asked. "It'd be good to have some alone time for ourselves... just the two of us."
"Nah, not yet, but I'm sure there are plenty of places we can go to that would blow our minds away," Maya said, sticking her tongue out to focus properly. "Just a little bit more... and... oh, yeah, I gotta go against the grain too, right?"
"Yep."
When she rinsed the blades and began to shave against the grain, it was far smoother this time, due to the lack of friction and pull. She didn't even have to tug it or anything! Phoenix whistled while she cleaned up any remaining hair left on his face. If there's one thing he had to say, it's that Maya did well... for an inexperienced woman. Well, in the sense that she never shaved a man before... not that she never knew how to shave. He can at least attest to that.
It wasn't until a couple of minutes has passed that she finally managed to shave everything off. He rinsed his face properly before taking a look at the mirror. Clean, smooth, and looking like the Turnabout Terror he's been known as for over a decade and a half. He wasn't trying to toot his own horn but... wow, he looked good. Perks of being happily married to someone you love, he guessed.
"...I'm glad I married you," Phoenix said, looking at her from the mirror.
"W-Whoa! I mean..." Maya rubbed her chin, a tinge of pink on her cheeks. "I guess that's a 10 out of 10 on the review section?"
"Try 11 out of 10," he replied, giving her a tiny and satisfied smile. "Well done, Maya."
"Aw, thanks!" She cheered, clasping her hands together as she eagerly nods with her eyes closed. "Glad I could be of help, Nick."
"Now... time for an early reward, I suppose."
Maya instantly clocked what he meant by that, and - contrary to what she would've done if she was a decade younger - immediately leaned forward, hands behind her back as Phoenix turned around with an amused smile before he gently took a hold of her face, cupping her cheek with his hand. He could barely lean forward to peck her on the lips when she immediately pulled him downwards by his tie, smashing their lips together as he smiled against hers before they both closed their eyes, enjoying the last moment of peace before he had to go to work and leave her alone for hours... and hours... upon hours.
The kiss was not long, but it was enjoyable when it came to the two of them. It always was. She had to pull away first, tugging her robe closer to her thighs; showing her pale, milky skin as he silently gulped at the sight of his wife's legs. She smirked at his reaction before turning around and walking away from him, leaving to exit the bathroom.
"...If you want to get a better reward from me, maybe do better in court today, Nick," Maya said, winking at him. "See you tonight... cutie," before she left him alone there.
Well... that's one hell of a way to offer an incentive, Phoenix thought to himself, a bit more motivated to win the case in one go.
Wincing again for a moment, his fingers reached out to the lower part of his ear area; around the neck. Touching his skin, he was not surprised to see some blood there. That's probably what was making him wince all this time, huh?
"Well... at least she didn't see this."
"OBJECTION!"
"What is it now, Edgeworth...?" Phoenix asked, feeling a bit more irritated than usual due to the fact he has something on the line tonight.
"The victim couldn't have possibly opened the door," Edgeworth replied, crossing his arms as he tapped his foot on the floor. "If you'd remember the autopsy, it is specifically stated that their fingers were broken, their arms were snapped in different places, and... they died BEFORE the door was seemingly tampered with!"
"That doesn't disprove a thing I said; the victim was stated to have been there for hours before their fingers and arms were broken! They could've opened it BEFORE they were murdered!" Phoenix slammed his hands on the desk, retaliating by zooming in on a plausible error in Edgeworth's logic. "Not to mention: it isn't even remotely possible for all of that to have occured so quickly! How did the killer managed to do all of that within such a short timespan!?"
"You stated that the victim was there for several hours, Wright!"
"Yes, he was there..." Phoenix admitted before he shot back. "...But was the killer there for several hours? The victim was there from 11:00AM until 4:00PM; the killer was seemingly there from 3:30PM until 4:15PM!" He pointed out, just dishing out whatever points he could make. "No matter which way you slice it, there's no possible explanation as to how the killer could've killed the victim, tampered with the door, and THEN used immense strength that would've taken hours to move heavy furnitures to block the door!"
Now that I'm thinking about it... this case makes absolutely zero sense, Phoenix thought to himself.
"Nngoh!" Edgeworth slammed the desk, as if he's seething about what to say... until he looked closer and his eyes squinted behind his glasses. "...Wait, Wright, what is that?"
"What is what?"
"That," Edgeworth pointed to his neck area, prompting Phoenix to actually reach and feel what he was pointing at before he realized what it was. "Did you cut yourself shaving?"
"Uh..." Phoenix rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, I did."
Edgeworth gave a cocky smirk. "Embarrassing. Not only did you not realize the contradictions within your arguments, but you also cannot shave properly?"
"At least I can grow facial hair, unlike you..." Phoenix muttered to himself.
"What was that?" Edgeworth heard that for sure. "Did you say something about my capability to grow facial hair?"
"Nope, nothing at all, Edgeworth!" Phoenix gave a fake smile before he zoomed in on a plausible argument again, just to boost credits with Maya. "Oh, and that was an ad hominem, your honor! My shaving skills has nothing to do with my arguments!"
"Hm, yes, I see. That DOES sound like an ad hominem," the Judge agreed, nodding as he turned to look at Edgeworth. "Mr. Edgeworth, refrain from personal attacks when arguing, please. You're the Chief Prosecutor - not a middle school student."
Edgeworth's eye twitched. "...Yes, your honor."
Perhaps Phoenix would be getting something tonight.