Chapter Text
HoeInHand: What're you up to?
ObsidianEgg: nothin much im just in my room
HoeInHand: Are you alone?
ObsidianEgg: Obviously
HoeInHand: Fair enough, I just wanted to make sure. Want some pictures? You know, to keep you less lonely?
ObsidianEgg: wow youre actually askin if i want dick pics before sendin some
HoeInHand: I try to be a Gentleman.
Sebastian snorted, and leaned back in his chair. Ten minutes into this guy's profile, he'd gotten blipped. No one ever messaged him first. And when they did, it was an instant dick pic. He was already, sadly, impressed. It was a low bar to clear.
ObsidianEgg: so what kinda pics would a gentleman send a guy like me
HoeInHand: What kind of pictures would you like me to send?
ObsidianEgg: how about one of…
HoeInHand: Of?
ObsidianEgg: you in your favorite pajamas
HoeInHand: Give me a few minutes, I need to go put them on.
ObsidianEgg: np take your time
And he lazily scrolled through a video collection site and stroked himself while he waited. A minute or so in, he heard that familiar ding, and tabbed back over into the conversation.
Holy shit.
ObsidianEgg: ngl i expected you to be in boxers or something
HoeInHand: It’s Winter, I can’t be naked when it’s just a low fire. Unless I have someone with me.
ObsidianEgg: with pajams that cute i bet you could get someone fucking wow
HoeInHand: You like them that much? Here’s another picture.
That was a buff butt, tightly clung to by fuzzy looking cowprint footy pajamas. Sculpted like a statue, Sebastian saved both pictures to his computer, and pressed his hands together and in front of his pursed lips.
Daaaaaaamn.
HoeInHand: I’m sorry, I’ll stop.
ObsidianEgg: No, Please.
HoeInHand: Hahaha, you really want me to continue? You weren’t replying. I thought maybe I was too forward.
ObsidianEgg: i dont know how long youve been on this site but this is the nicest set of pictures ive gotten
HoeInHand: Really?
ObsidianEgg: i would love more
HoeInHand: Want to see my others?
ObsidianEgg: in that
HoeInHand: No, I meant my other pajams. Pajams. That’s such a cute word.
ObsidianEgg: omy yes please
He maybe panted a little, and bent over to get a better position to jerk himself. It was depraved. This wasn’t dick pics and promises to fuck Sebastian hard, like he really wanted. This was a nice person (maybe) giving him cute pictures of pajams. Pajamas! Even just that word, it was cute.
Maybe they were weird. Maybe they had one of those age kinks. Maybe.
He didn’t even care, he wanted more and waited on that tab, though he scrolled through the guy’s profile again. Farmer. Liked to work out. Enjoyed walks by the beach, combing for coral and other things. Owned their own house. Lots of animals.
They didn’t have any pictures on the site itself yet, but their profile was nice. No typos, but also that didn’t ring any alarm bells, even for a new profile, since the guy typed like he’d just found the internet and was worried about what grade he might get.
He bit his bottom lip and groaned when he saw the pajamas. Sock monkey red. With a little sock monkey hood pulled over the top. Disgusting. So cute. He was in love with, at the very least, these pajamas.
HoeInHand: Does this picture look ok?
ObsidianEgg: yes yes it does
HoeInHand: That’s good. I have another.
ObsidianEgg: should i be sending you any
HoeInHand: Do you want to?
ObsidianEgg: yes but first you because i need to know where that zipper goes it could go anywhere
HoeInHand: Oh, is that right? Well, I’ll send it to you, but only after you send me one of you in your cutest pajams.
ObsidianEgg: i dont even wear any pajams
ObsidianEgg: Pajamas damn it
HoeInHand: :) Then maybe you could send me a nice picture of you in whatever you want to? No pressure though.
ObsidianEgg: alright ill look for something good to wear since im not right now and uh
ObsidianEgg: send some soon
ObsidianEgg: that cool
HoeInHand: Sounds great to me. Here, have another. ;)
Obsidian: fuck yes brb
Oh by the stars, Sebastian tugged harder and shut his eyes.
That zipper revealed a lovely treasure trail, and just such a nicely defined belly.
And yet, here this guy was, still wearing fucking sock monkey footy pajamas. Even the little feet were monkey heads.
Disgusting. Sebastian whined and pulled himself several times, then stopped, took a deep breath, and went to look for something that he could wear. Maybe. Maybe his cape?
He didn’t do this. Guys sent him dick pics, he occasionally laughed, and nothing ever came of it.
Could he actually take a picture of himself? Maybe even a risque one? Maybe he could start with the full cosplay and work his way down? Especially if this guy kept sending him pictures that got more and more skin involved.
He returned, costume on, and hard cock confined almost punishingly behind lore friendly garb. He was a cleric, and maybe the guy would find cosplay hot. Sebastian did.
ObsidianEgg: ready for a picture
HoeInHand: Absolutely. Though, I’ve sort of snuggled up in a different set of pajams now.
ObsidianEgg: youre not going to stop saying that word, are you
HoeInHand: I don’t know if it was a typo, but it was really cute, ok? I can’t stop laughing. That’s all I want to call these now.
ObsidianEgg: smh
ObsidianEgg: ok you read my profile right
HoeInHand: Of course, who would message someone without reading their profile? That’s rude.
ObsidianEgg: thats either sarcasm or youre really as new to this as i thought
HoeInHand: It’s not sarcasm. But I guess I am pretty new to this. Am I doing badly? :(
He tried not to laugh, but then that little :( stood out and he felt his own laughter twist into a similar look. Quickly.
ObsidianEgg: Literally the opposite of bad
HoeInHand: I was worried maybe you didn’t like me saying pajams. I could stop.
ObsidianEgg: No, please dont stop its really cute ok
HoeInHand: :)
He giggled, Sebastian, him, he giggled. He couldn’t even believe it. But there it was, so not what he normally wanted, and yet everything he was ok with in the moment. He stifled them a bit, and tried to get into character.
ObsidianEgg: so im in a cosplay because i mentioned thats something i like in my profile
HoeInHand: That’s really awesome! I look forward to seeing it if you’ll let me!
ObsidianEgg: well youre in luck because i just did a roll for you to check your charisma and you got a natural 20
HoeInHand: Is that good? :)
ObsidianEgg: its the best you can roll
HoeInHand: !!! :D
Disgusting and cute. He wasn’t normally into that. He cackled, and it took a moment before he could calm himself. Ok, ok. Picture time.
He pulled the hood of his swirly red cloak over his face, and put one arm out, holding the cape up, and showing the boots, trousers, and period/realm appropriate shirt, tucked in of course. He clicked on the mouse button, and his webcam took a shot he was ok with. Mysterious, attractive, without giving away too much.
Send.
He moved to sit down, but the message blipped before he’d even fully settled.
HoeInHand: Wow!
ObsidianEgg: heh whatd you think
HoeInHand: That looks hand sewn! It’s really nice. And you look lovely. :)
ObsidianEgg: wanna roll to try for another picture
HoeInHand: I’d like that.
ObsidianEgg: oh no looks like you rolled a 6
HoeInHand: :c
Oh no, the sad c. Sebastian shook his head, and couldn’t stop grinning.
HoeInHand: Can I reroll, please? I think I sneezed when I rolled.
ObsidianEgg: sorry pal rules are rules i cant make exceptions you have to wait another turn to get another shot at a picture from me
HoeInHand: Ok then can I send you another picture? Maybe it’ll boost my statuses or something?
Sebastian felt that familiar twitch under his tight trousers, and he tugged at them a little. No, he wouldn’t take it out. He wanted to see this through.
ObsidianEgg: if you send a picture itll give you a temporary stat boost to your charisma and speech
HoeInHand: What if I sent you a picture of me on my bed?
ObsidianEgg: the boost may be bigger
HoeInHand: I wonder how big I can get the boost to be. Can I min/max?
He cupped his face. This. This man. He inhaled deeply, and stood to take a few more pictures, to be prepared for when the other inevitably got a crit and got him down to his fantasy era appropriate underthings.
ObsidianEgg: thatd be fine if you wanna try definitely
HoeInHand: Ok, here’s another picture.
A picture of him in those monkey pajamas, taken in a mirror across from his bed. From that angle, his butt was nice and clearly round, and his legs seemed toned, with how the material stuck to them. It almost looked too tight, it was that snug.
Sebastian grinned and reached into his smalls and played with himself, just a bit. “This guy. Wouldn’t mind riding out to ride him.” Probably it was as far as Zuzu City though. He couldn’t tell from the profile. Normally he wouldn’t answer people who didn’t list where they lived, even though he himself didn’t fully.
Still. He was glad he had.
HoeInHand: I have to be honest, I’m a bit nervous. I don’t really do pictures. I’ve not been on one of these sites before.
ObsidianEgg: ive been around on this site for a year or so but i dont do pictures either
HoeInHand: It’s exciting!
ObsidianEgg: it is and ive got good news
HoeInHand: Oh! Tell me, please?
ObsidianEgg: your turn do you want a pic
HoeInHand: I would like to roll for charisma and to see you in your nice cosplay again! Please.
ObsidianEgg: charisma check passed especially with the boost of your bubble butt
HoeInHand: Ohhhhhh, nice.
ObsidianEgg: picture oncoming
HoeInHand: I’ve got a bit more than just a hoe in hand at the thought.
ObsidianEgg: what a filthy thing to say
HoeInHand: I’m sorry, I’ll stop.
ObsidianEgg: dont stop
HoeInHand: :D
He jerked a bit harder, though that didn’t stop him from working quickly with one hand on mouse to get the picture up.
Ties along shirt front undone, the hint of a smirk from beneath his hood, and a bit of reddish treasure trail leading to his very clearly outlined cock. It was a pair of period appropriate tight pants, after all.
ObsidianEgg: so what do you think
HoeInHand: Yoba, that’s. That’s very nice. Looks really nice. Wow.
ObsidianEgg: you really like it huh
HoeInHand: I like it a lot. Do you think. Do you have to roll now to get another picture from me?
ObsidianEgg: I rolled a 20
HoeInHand: Hahaha. But I think I should roll your rolls too. And you got a 1.
ObsidianEgg: :c
HoeInHand: ;) But I could be convinced to let you reroll.
ObsidianEgg: thats extortion
HoeInHand: I’m clearly the villain in this.
ObsidianEgg: yes me sitting here in a cloak with black and red everything im not the villain
ObsidianEgg: you in your footie pajams youre obviously the villain
HoeInHand: Absolutely. I’m glad you understand. This was all a ruse. I’m unstoppable. So, do you accept my offer? I let you reroll, and you show me another picture?
ObsidianEgg: you fiend
ObsidianEgg: fine here you monster
HoeInHand: Hehehehehehehe…
He felt the redness in his cheeks flare up, and he posted a picture quickly, then settled in on stroking himself harder.
His shirt was gone in this picture, and he was all lean chest, with a smattering of red hair, and bush that lead to trousers that barely hid what was underneath.
Immediately, a picture of boxers, and no more pajamas, returned. No face, it was shot over the shoulder, but he could see so much. Tight ass, plump and juicy. Hairy legs, muscular and dense.
This guy definitely both worked out, and probably very much did work on a farm. That was sometimes just a schtick, but in this case, Sebastian would believe it.
ObsidianEgg: well if youre evil sign me up because im interested
HoeInHand: :D
ObsidianEgg: wow thats totally evil look how evil that face is
HoeInHand: >:D
He straight up choked, laughing. It didn’t stop him from masturbating, but it made the process a bit more difficult.
ObsidianEgg: holy fuck thats hilarious
HoeInHand: Thank you. And I really enjoy that cosplay. Who are you in it?
ObsidianEgg: im a cleric named Balthozar
HoeInHand: !!!
ObsidianEgg: what
HoeInHand: Sebastian???
He paused, internally, and sorted through anyone who might know him.
Couldn’t be Sam, unless Sam was catfishing. Plus, that wasn’t how Sam talked at all. And Sam never called him his full name.
Not Alex, though he had a nice set of legs, and thighs, and… well. But Alex’s butt wasn’t that nice, he was almost certain.
Plus, this person looked a bit smaller than Alex.
Fuck. Who was this?
Oh Yoba. It dawned on him a moment later.
ObsidianEgg: youre that farmer
HoeInHand: I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was you. You must hate me.
ObsidianEgg: Why would i hate you
HoeInHand: Because! I’m on here.
ObsidianEgg: uh so am i
HoeInHand: And it’s awkward, isn’t it? Maybe I shouldn’t have asked for pictures, I’m sorry.
ObsidianEgg: dude relax
HoeInHand: I’m trying.
ObsidianEgg: is it a problem knowing im the one youre talking to
HoeInHand: No…
ObsidianEgg: so whats the problem dude
HoeInHand: It’s really not a problem for you?
ObsidianEgg: of course not i just told you its fine its ok
ObsidianEgg: actually this is great
HoeInHand: :)
ObsidianEgg: because maybe i could see you in those pajams in person sometime
HoeInHand: :O
ObsidianEgg: is that a yes
HoeInHand: You just rolled a natural 20. Please come by tomorrow at 8pm.
ObsidianEgg: its a date then should i wear my cosplay
HoeInHand: Yes, very much yes.
ObsidianEgg: so youll be in pajams and ill be in a cosplay
HoeInHand: It’ll be wonderful. I’ll make food. Maybe we could play some of those Solarion games you like.
ObsidianEgg: ill bring it over
HoeInHand: I need to go take a shower now, but I’ll talk to you tomorrow!
ObsidianEgg: oh youre going to get cleaned up you filthy thing you
HoeInHand: >:D
ObsidianEgg: i should probably finish up and shower too
ObsidianEgg: ttyl
HoeInHand: Bye!
HoeInHand:
He kept the pictures up, in different windows, all scattered along his monitor.
It wasn’t long before he finished, cleaned up, undressed entirely, and moved to his bed, ready for a good sleep. He was in bed earlier than usual, but he wanted to prepare during the daylight and actually be ready for his date.
Date.
Disgusting. Cute.
Yoba, how had he gotten himself into this?
He couldn’t stop smiling.