Chapter Text
Suki was annoyed. They’d only just touched down in Majorca and she was already ready to call the holiday a failure.
She hadn’t even wanted to go on holiday. It was the last thing she needed right now. She needed to work. A business wouldn’t build itself. Everyday she spent here was one less day connecting with clients, networking, rebuilding her family's reputation. She knew how quickly you could lose everything.
But of course her parents had decided that they knew best. Of course they focused only on their grandchildren, not on their daughter who felt like she was sinking. As long as the grandkids were happy now that Nish’s shackles had loosened and they were finally allowed to play a bigger part in their lives, then they too were happy.
So when they had announced to the kids that they would pay for them to go on holiday, without even checking with Suki first, well she couldn’t exactly refuse. They were so very excited. They didn’t understand why mum had to work so hard all the time. They didn’t see the meals she missed, the treats she forgo to maintain their normal lives. The last thing she needed was them even more disparaged with her. Additionally, the more they spoke about the holiday, so excited about all the things they could do, the first time Vinny and Ash would remember flying, the warm sun on their faces after a terrible year of weather, even by British standards, the more she started to believe that maybe this was what she needed too. Rejuvenate herself.
The notion was already laughable.
Unwilling to pay airport prices, Kheerat and Jags had had to accept a Boots meal deal for their lunch, putting her on the backfoot. On the plane, Vinny had suffered badly from the changes in air pressure, grimacing and crying into her side on both take off and landing. She’d allowed Jags and Kheerat to take the two seats a few rows in front, believing them to be the most mature. Instead, they’d squabbled the whole way through the airport about who would get to sit by the window, and to punish Kheerat for winning the flip of a coin that ultimately decided, Jags spent the whole journey leaning right over him, pretending to be awestruck by the view.
The man who’d been sat next to them had the most disapproving look as he saw them race towards Suki for their passports after landing.
So yeah, not the start to the week she had hoped for.
And after 8 hours of travelling with 4 children, it was hard to have much hope that it would get better.
Eve finally approached the hotel, a welcome relief after the 5 mile walk home she’d decided to endure. She’d thought it would do her good, some fresh air and exercise, but she’d forgotten how hot it would be. She could feel her nose burning from the unrelenting sun, having not anticipated this sunny walk when she’d headed to town the night before.
God, she needed a long nap. Then maybe a nice swim in the pool. A cold fanta limon. A pizza maybe, something hefty to soak up the alcohol she could still feel coursing around her veins.
At least here the recovery options lifestyle here was better than at home, even if the crash the mornings after her nights out brought the same feelings of failure and loneliness.
She'd thought she was finally ready. She thought her and Gemma were the real deal. Maybe they could have been. If she hadn’t ruined things. Again. All Gemma had wanted was for Eve to move into her flat. A normal step taken 6 months into a relationship. There was nothing keeping her in Liverpool and Manchester wasn’t exactly far away. She was on a winning streak in court, yet she hadn’t bonded much with her colleagues, so she could surely find a new job. Yet she couldn't bring herself to do it. The commitment was too much.
But Gemma had her issues too. It had taken a lot for her to ask Eve to move in. The second she clocked onto the hesitancy to agree, she panicked. It all went downhill from there.
So here she was. On the holiday they had booked together. Alone.
She had tried, really tried, to control her drinking. To use this holiday as a chance to relax, to reflect, to act as a palate cleanser before she started the next chapter in her life, back in singledom. She’d done enough of it at home, the drinking, partying, making a move on any girl who smiled at her before kicking them out of her bed in the morning without a single word.
But she’d been here before. Something bad happened, she destructed, then eventually she’d pull herself together again. And she’d done better for the first few days of the holiday. But the problem with a trip like this, just lounging about by the pool, floating about in the sea, solo meals each night, there was much too much time to think. She’d needed to let off some steam. And she certainly had.
She now entered the compound, hair unruly, last night's clothes on, mascara smudged under her eyes. So maybe not her best decision. But there was nobody to let down anymore. No more disapproving parents acting like her spiralling after the most traumatic event of their lives was just Eve being Eve and not a perfectly natural, albeit unhelpful, reaction. She could deal with disapproving looks from strangers, that didn’t faze her.
It was an awkward arrival day for Suki, with only half an afternoon available to them by the time they’d settled into the hotel. She wasn’t sure she had the energy to kit 4 children out for the pool just for a couple of hours, it would take her 20 minutes alone to get Vinny to stop wriggling for long enough to get suncream on him. But whilst she didn’t have the energy, the kids certainly did, and she couldn’t spend tonight cooped up in this room with them like this, so the pool it was. Besides, although Kheerat and Jags could play the fools, they were 12 and 14 now, and she trusted them, well mostly Kheerat, to keep an eye on Vinny. So maybe she could just recline on a sunlounger, book in hand. What is life without hope?
She opened her suitcase, fishing out her swimming costume. It was 10 years old, blue and white stripes running down it. Thankfully, it just about fit her, she couldn’t afford a new one.
15 year ago, 19 and newly married, Nish had taken her on honeymoon to Sri Lanka. He had taken great pride in showing her off to the world, buying her expensive bikinis, wanting everyone to know that his wife's boobs were perky, her stomach was flat.
Then the kids made their way into the world. One after the other after the other. Her body barely had time to recover. And suddenly Nish’s beliefs had changed. Women ought to wear sensible, modest clothing. Her body was for his eyes only, despite the fact that he would hardly look at her. This was one of his views that she didn’t bother arguing, she didn’t particularly want her body on show either. She wrapped a sarong around her waist, tying it securely. She only planned on going in the pool if one of the little ones wanted her too anyway.
She got out her beachbag, a grotty one she saved for such occasions, unwilling for her usual handbag to be anywhere near chlorine, suncream or sand. She added in all the kids belongings, toys for Vinny, headphones for the older boys, Ash’s current Jacqueline Wilson book alongside her own.
They left the room, Suki triple checking that she’d remembered to bring the keycard with her. Their room was on the 5th floor of the hotel, so considering all the stuff they were carrying down she opted to take the lift. They filled most of it between the five of them and the blow up crocodile float Jags had insisted on bringing from their last holiday many moons ago (it was a miracle it still blew up).
They came to a halt sooner than expected, stopping on the third floor.
A tall woman slid into the already cramped space. She blinked blearily at the sight before her, before smiling at little Vinny as he dropped the beach ball he had bought, it bounding towards her. She kicked it back to a timid thank you.
Suki drew Vinny towards her. A waft of tequila and cigarettes had entered the lift with this woman. She somehow looked as if she hadn’t slept in weeks, but also had just woken up.
She wore a sports bra and shorts instead of proper swimwear, her hair dragged back into a short ponytail. Her nose was burnt and peeling. She had a tatty, old book in her hand, some of the pages clearly having fallen out and been slid back into place. That offended her the most, as someone who kept all her books in pristine condition.
She shifted further into her corner of the lift, trying to escape the smell. Was this the sort of people who stayed in this hotel. Maybe she’d have to keep a close eye on Vinny herself after all.
As the lift dinged to a halt, she grabbed her children, whisking them into the foyer. She heard a snigger behind her. She turned back to glare, only to be met with an aggravating grin.
Eve watched on as the sullen looking woman headed out of the hotel doors. She felt for those kids, she knew what it was like to have a nightmare mother.
She knew she didn’t exactly live the high life all the time, but at least Eve knew how to have fun, how to not take herself too seriously. That woman looked like she hadn’t smiled for at least a decade. And all those kids. No thank you.
Still, there was something magnetic about her.
Eve couldn’t take her eyes off her as she swept down the stairs towards the pool.