Chapter Text
The nightmares started long before Loki had ever met Tom, that much Tom figured. In the moments following a bad dream, Loki would be shaken and visibly confused, eyes unfocused, pushing away at Tom, not recognizing him. In fact, Tom was certain that the dazed glint in Loki’s eyes was plain fear, something he rarely saw in the god’s eyes. What could have happened to him to give him such terrible dreams?
Tom didn’t know what could possibly be triggering them. He and Loki lived in relative peace and contentment, Loki displaying affection seemingly reserved only for Tom. He was often disinterested in other people and tended to be cold with strangers, but he touched Tom often, almost in reverence. The best times were when Tom noticed Loki touching him absentmindedly, caressing his knee while reading, circling his wrist with long fingers while flipping through the channels in the evening. Then there were the times Loki touched him deliberately, his sole focus on Tom. Walking down the hallway, Tom would hear Loki approaching him from behind and before he knew it Loki would spin him around and press him to the wall, his lips the only anchor Tom had to the earth, or when Loki would slip into the shower with him, his raven hair and green eyes stark against the white tiled walls, coming nearer and nearer. Even in his sleep, Loki sought him out, face in Tom’s neck, a long pale arm draped over Tom’s waist. Sometimes he slept the whole night. But other times, like tonight, Tom would be drawn from sleep by Loki’s heated whispers.
Not recognizing the language, Tom scooted closer and peered over Loki’s shoulder; saw his eyes screwed tight, the sweat on his brow, the clenched fists.
“Loki,” he said quietly, already doubting trying to wake him. What was it he’d read somewhere about waking people from nightmares, how it wasn’t a good idea? He shook his head, unsure, and ran a thumb over Loki’s cheek, not wanting to startle him. “Loki, it’s just a dream, love. Open your eyes.”
Loki was murmuring something, his breathing quick and shallow. Tom was staring down at him when suddenly Loki’s green eyes flashed open, panicked. He sat up with a small cry, his hands curled defensively, glaring into the room at large. Tom stumbled behind him but sat up on his knees immediately, already reaching out for Loki. A mistake, he realized.
Loki couldn’t see Tom from where he sat hunched over and when Tom placed his hand on Loki’s shoulder, a word of comfort forming on his lips, Loki reacted and in a split second, had Tom pinned to the bed, his hand wrapped around his throat. Loki growled above him, not seeing, not knowing, desperate and afraid. Tom gasped beneath him, hands grasping at Loki’s wrist.
“Loki!” he choked out. After another moment, Loki’s eyes cleared and his brows furrowed in confusion.
“Thomas,” he whispered, releasing Tom’s throat and shuffling back to the corner of the bed. Tom dragged in air, coughing slightly. Loki’s eyes shifted down to the floor, shame on every inch of his face.
Slowly, Tom sat up and stretched a hand across the bed, palm up, fingers open.
“Come here,” he said, his whisper loud in the dark room, but still he saw Loki shaking his head adamantly.
“I didn’t see you, I didn’t see you,” he replied, voice so small and quiet, eyes closed again, perhaps replaying his dream in his head, something Tom definitely didn’t want him to do.
“I know, love. Just…come here.”
Loki breathed in once and then crawled the small distance between them, stopping just before Tom, sight focused on something behind Tom’s head. Using his fingers to turn Loki’s eyes to his, Tom stared at the changing emotions on Loki’s face: fear, apprehension, confusion, love.
“My darling,” Tom said and something in Loki’s face fell apart. He threw his arms around Tom’s shoulders, his weight dragging them both to the bed’s surface. Loki began kissing every part of Tom he could reach, cheeks, jaw, nose. Stopping abruptly, his gaze flickered from Tom’s eyes down to his lips. Cradling Tom’s head gently, he touched his lips to Tom’s, warm and soft and possessive. When Loki pulled back, Tom saw the tears in his eyes, gathered but not fallen. Before he could say anything, Loki moved his gaze to Tom’s throat, red from his grip. Bending low, Loki trailed his lips from one side of Tom’s neck to the other, feeling the warmth of Tom’s blushing skin. The words on Tom’s tongue crumbled away as Loki set him ablaze. He opened his legs so Loki could settle closer and moaned as their hips came into contact. He ran his hands up Loki’s back to his shoulders, turning his head to give Loki better access to his neck.
“Oh, my…Loki,” he gasped, as he felt Loki’s teeth grazing his shoulder. Already he could feel Loki’s erection pressing against his own, Loki’s cotton pajama bottoms and his own boxers the only barrier between them. Loki ground his hips down and Tom gasped, digging his fingers into Loki’s skin. Desperate, Tom pulled Loki’s face to his and kissed him, bruising his lips, swallowing Loki’s groan when Tom wrapped his legs around Loki’s hips and pulled him closer. Loki began to rut against Tom, the friction making Tom hyper aware of Loki’s body heavy on his own, of Loki’s breath on his cheek, of the soft caresses Loki’s fingers were making on his temple.
“Please, my darling, please,” he said, his whisper rushed with longing.
Loki leaned up on his elbows, eyes wide. “You bring me out of it, Thomas. You bring me out. I fall in so deep, they snatch at me. I fight and I fight and it’s you. I would see this world burnt for you. I would build it up again if that is what you desire.” He buried his face in Tom’s neck, planting kisses and love bites, making Tom squirm with longing. “Anything you ask, my love. It’s yours. It’s yours. For you, it’s yours.”
“You,” Tom gasped between kisses. “I want you.” Kiss. “With me.” Kiss. Kiss. “Always.”
Loki smiled, a brilliant shine in the dark. “You will not be rid of me.”
He knelt back and hooked his fingers under the band of Tom’s boxers, pulling down. Tom’s cock sprang free and he stifled a moan at the way Loki was looking at it with hunger in his eyes.
“You. Now you.” Tom reached to Loki and quickly rid him of his pajama bottoms. Loki naked was a sight indeed. Long, hard lines, trim muscle strong under his pale skin. His erection stood high and Tom couldn’t help himself. He wrapped his hand around Loki’s cock and squeezed gently. Loki hissed, putting his hand on Tom’s shoulder to steady himself. His eyes fluttered closed as Tom began moving his hand up and down, his thumb swirling around the head, using the precum to lubricate his movement. Loki stopped him with a gentle nudge and Tom lay back, watching as Loki sucked on two of his fingers. Carefully, he pressed his fingers to Tom’s entrance, stretching him. Tom leaned his head back, white spots appearing behind his eyelids when Loki brushed against his prostate.
“I’m good, I’m good. Please now.”
Loki held Tom’s hips down as he pushed his cock in, both he and Tom tensing from the sensation. He pulled out and pushed in twice before Tom was able to take him in all the way. He leaned forward on his elbows again, needing to be as close to Tom as possible. Tom wrapped his limbs around the god, urging him on. They pressed their lips together as Loki bucked forward. Tom gasped, breaking the kiss, and Loki began nipping at his jaw and sucking at his neck. Loki pressed Tom into the mattress with every thrust, his hip movement fast and hard. Tom’s cock between them was swollen and red, getting little stimulation from Loki’s belly. He met Loki’s thrusts, trying to rub himself against Loki.
“My impatient one,” Loki breathed into his skin. “But I would deny you nothing. I adore you, Thomas.”
“And I worship you, Lo—“ He cut off with a cry as Loki reached down and gripped Tom’s cock in his hand, pumping slow then fast. Tom was lit from within, his body pulsing with Loki and everything he encompassed. His desire spiraled low and like a coil unwinding, he came undone. His orgasm ripped through him, his cry lost in Loki’s mouth, his cock throbbing and leaking cum on his chest.
“There you are, Thomas. You are absolute divinity when you come for me.” Loki was sucking on his lip, biting gently. Tom was already drifting, his orgasm having drained him. He was barely clinging to Loki, who was still thrusting strong. Tom rolled his head to the side, exhausted, when Loki latched on to his neck, biting hard enough to leave a mark. With a few more thrusts, Loki came in him, his hips stuttering to a stop, moaning into Tom’s neck. They lay together, breathing hard, until Loki pulled out slowly. Tom made a small noise of protest but couldn’t open his eyes if he wished it. He lay boneless as Loki knelt next to him and scooped him up. Tom vaguely remembered wondering at how strong Loki was and it wasn’t until Loki chuckled that he realized he spoke aloud.
Tom felt Loki wiping his chest with a cloth. Loki then arranged their bodies together under the blanket and Tom sank into his embrace, breathing him in.
“But you make me stronger, Thomas. Believe me when I say you save me every time,” Loki whispered into his hair. And then, “I’m sorry that I hurt you.”
Tom clutched at him harder. “You didn’t. You weren’t here; you were somewhere else. Sleep now, Loki. Nothing can harm us now.”
As Tom drifted off, his breathing becoming slower, Loki held him close. His own eyes were heavy with fatigue, but he kept them hooded, seeing nothing as he stared into the darkened room, sleep a yearning but not one he would give in to, not tonight. Maybe tomorrow he will sleep. Maybe tomorrow.