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I saw you in a dream, it felt like more than a dream but reality is less.
A haze of wind rushes to the tree ahead of them. It felt warm against Scar's cheek the sun almost blinding him. the light came from the individual beside him, Scar turns only to meet him. That red sweater, the pants a size too big and those shining eyes. it could only be him.
Why is Grian here? He says something Scar cant quite make out, laughing in between words, gods his smile its beautiful. The sound of his laugh it fills Scar with so much love, It should stop. Not Grian and his laugh no- gods no let it sound for eternity. Scar's love should stop, its not responsible its definitely not right, they're friends its over its done his love will only hurt it will only cause pain why cant he stop it.
and then it stops, not his love no, the world around him does. the space around him goes quiet his thoughts turn to dust as he feels a soft remark of touch
Grians hand, It held Scars.
It felt perfect, so incredibly right it was comfortable, his where just a bit smaller than Scar's but they fit perfectly they where warm not hot but warm like a cup of slightly cooler tea. Scar tried to look down, to see he couldn't see something stopped him, so he just basked in the feeling and gods it felt amayzing
They walked around the city, it seemed big but Grian knew the way. Scar was content letting him lead they'd stop and Grian would tell a story about a place or event that happened there. Scar laughs, a true genuine laugh its been weeks since he felt this free.
beside this inheritly comfortable feeling something isnt right. it was nice but not real .
Its fuzzy so fuzzy
They're in Scars room, sitting on the ground. Grian chats to him, not fully certain what he says but its nice. Scar loves his voice. Its rhythmic, soothing and so indescribably Grian.
' I'm, sleepy" his head falls on Scars shoulder. His sandy brown hair fills the lower corner of Scar's view. The smell of his hair fills Scar. He can vaguely smell the 3 in 1 shampoo and cinnamon which ended up in his hair earlier. Its nice it's comforting and so warm. It's Grian.
'Scar? Can i rest here?" Words wont form but Scar manages to express agreement. A weight falls to his lap, Grians head lays on his legs. His beautiful dark brown eyes stare up at him. Scar could swear they sparkle, the freckles on his face look like stars, his smile is the sun. The way it shines you could see it from kilometers away, it was so beautifully and perfectly Grian. Scar runs his hands trough Grians hair, its soft the . Grians breathing calms him, Scar wonders if his heart beats the same as his, if theyre bound in that way too. The soft lifting of his chest and the going down, Grian is alive, Scar feels alive around him. Looking down at the man on his lap all he wants is to protect him, from all cruenlty of the world but what he wants to most is to love him, make him feel safe and wanted make him feel like the best person alive because to Scar he is.
Its fuzzy very fuzzy, its not right this isn't the reality but its nice, Scar likes nice. He doesnt want it to end, he wants to stay stay in this love. he can feel it ending, endings are inevitable, Scar wishes this dream could last longer.
No Gri please don't go, no please stay, i want to be together come back i miss the sun i miss your warmth. Despite Scars desperate pleas the dreams leaves.
Scar refuses to open his eyes, can he go back? please put him back please dont let him fade.
He woke up, tears pricking his eyes, let him stay please let him be beside him. turning over Grians spot is still empty, it has been ever since he left. A gaping hole on his left side, no plushes no big red sweater tucked to the side and no Grian. Scar is alone, again. His dream felt so incredibly real, Scar wishes he could go back, go back to sleep and dream about him again, go back in time to a place where it was real.
to be next to the sun again.
Scar watches his clock tick by, he watches the minutes pass. Time go by, time he wastes but to Scar it matters not. His eyes close once again, maybe if he tries hard enough he'll be back. If he imagines the suns warmth to hold it and cradle it with love.
He finds himself in a desert, not any place he'd been before. Yet it felt cruelly familiar. Wind cuts harshly on his face like a thousand daggers which must all slash him. It burns, Scar wishes hed bleed it would soothe the pain he is in. pain which spreads his body, pain that feels almost too much for him to handle. his vision is blurry but he recoqnises him, red sweater and brown eyes. Its Grian, its Grian but not his Grian. sonething is not right.
Before Scar can discipher why he is in a desert, Grian charges at him. a punch hits Scar's cheek, unable to duck he feels the hit echo at the place of impact. Why would Grian? why did he punch him?
his vision shifts, standing is no longer an option the fog increases, so does the blur.
'Im s- s-rry S—- Its a d——- vi—ory, right? i — sorry"
Grians voice is only a vague suggestions of words, Scar understands it now, Not his words but what it means. The pulsing blood in his ears and he knows his wish. his arm reaches for Grians face. he holds it between his bloodied and bruised hands, the hands which gifted and hurt. all they now do is hold on.
'Thank you Grian." words that manage to form on Scars lips, his death isnt cold and dark. its filled with warmth and light.
at last he cradles the sun,
but at what cost?