Chapter Text
Chapter one: Going to camp.
We were being sent to a camp for assholes. At least that is what Craig called it. Technically it was the McKormick (No relation to Kenny) behavioral management camp. Why the both of us? Near the end of Junior year, I might have had a minor breakdown in school and Craig reacted badly.
It was a particularly bad day. Thunder outside, final exams and I had not had any coffee since the night before. A real cluster fuck. Everything was just throwing me off that day. Finally at lunch when someone spilt my only coffee of the day all over me. That upset me just a tiny bit. I freaked out and ran through two NEW glass walls in the cafeteria and into several students. Fists first, I knocked anyone in my way down as I zipped through the halls. I just needed to get outside. I didn't care if glass had torn open my arms and favorite shirt. I did not even care if I was bleeding all over the school. Nothing was going to stop me!
Then when Craig tried to stop me. My sweet, loving partner was just trying to keep me from hurting myself further. What did I do? I punched him in the face several times, glass and all. I don't remember him hitting the ground screaming for me to stop. It wasn't him I was seeing at the moment. He kicked me square in the nuts then took me down with those long legs of his. He locked me in place, pinning me on that hard floor until the teachers came. There was so much blood everywhere.
It hurt a whole lot but it stopped me. We were both mad but made up in detention after a few days in the hospital. A violent confrontation or freak outs nothing new for us but we never brought others into it. This was pretty serious when we got back to school. Thankfully no one would press charges but we would have to pay for the glass, and go to a this stupid camp.
What I was really afraid of was Craig hating me. He had so many stitches under his eye because of me. We didn't speak once in the hospital but lord knows I had a lot to say. Thankfully, the first day of detention, he was the one to apologize to me. The floodgates opened up after that with me crying for forgiveness. Oddly enough, it brought us closer. We have been dating since we were ten years old and fighting since we were eight. No matter how much pain I was in that day, I would rather get taken down by my boyfriend than a high school prefect.
Despite others calming our relationship was "dysfunctional", “abusive” or even "fake" because of how much we used to fight, we were happy. Sure we would mess each other up from time to time as kids but we have gotten so much better. Our good days outweigh the bad by a whole lot. That was our first actual fight in years. Craig was my best friend. Even if he was an asshole. Though, we're both here so maybe we're both assholes.
"This is bullshit." Craig droned, leaning on my arm.
It was. We were on a bus to this place for the next six fucking weeks. All our stuff was packed in the back, getting hot and probably filled with MOLD! This whole thing sucked more balls than Cartman and Kyle. At least we were going together. I just hope they don't separate us or something. My hand twisted around to grab hold of Craig's. His were always warm and made me feel protected. I've long since made peace with how freaking gay I am. Pretty sure Craig has too since he doesn't even joke about getting girls anymore. It made me smile to know that even in our most hormonal time, he only wanted me. A lovely flame ignited in my tummy that made me cling tighter to my best friend.
"Dude, you're putting my arm to sleep." A breathy chuckle escaped his perfect lips with that.
Not giving any fucks like I often didn't these days, I kissed him then kept snuggling his skinny arm. What was he gonna do? Push me away? This tall, skinny, dork I was dating loved this kind of shit more than I did. We both loved all this bullshit, couple stuff. Everyone did! That was the whole reason we gave dating a try. Everyone else liked us together and though neither of us admitted it, so did we. It was nice having a best friend you could be affectionate with. As we grew, so did our love for each other. Now we had no problem with holding hands, kissing and other stuff I'll leave out for now.
"Think we'll get to share a room?" I cooed into his ear, sweetly. He knew what I was implying.
That blank look on his face wavered a bit and he scratched his nose. His eyes shifted to me, a dorky grin still there. "You cuddle slut."
He knew me so well. Sure we have gone a pinch further than kissing and cuddling in our beds but that was my favorite. It always made me feel safe and has really helped with my anxiety. Being with Craig has helped me in more ways than he'll ever know or I'll be able to thank him for. Sometimes I wonder if he feels the same. Then I see him smile and estranged emotions burst from his usual blank face. Many of us always had a feeling he might be on the spectrum but we just never brought it up. I couldn't stop smiling at him. Maybe us being together has helped him work through his issues too.
Clearly not enough of them though! Since here the fuck we were. A shitty camp in the middle of the hot ass woods with a bunch of assholes. It had a very Camp Blood feel to it that made me nervous. What if a serial killer was just waiting to kill us!? I couldn't protect me and Craig. Sure I got buff over the last few breaks, pushing 135 now, but I sucked at pretty much fighting anyone but Craig. Could Craig still even fight? He was so damn skinny that even his height wasn't intimidating. He might have been towering at six and a few hairs but no one was really scared of him. Man, I can't wait to breach the 5'5" mark so I can say FUCK YOU to all the anti-coffee people. I am a salty little man from all this bullshit.
"Man, there is a lot on my mind today."
"Did you take you meds on time?" He asked me, concerned like a good boyfriend.
"Yeah, I did. Shit, I hope it's not melting back there!" I shout a bit too loudly. The adults shot me a look that made me seek sanctuary in my guy's armpit. "S-Sorry!" I returned my face back in my safe place.
Time for our tour of our personal hell for the summer. This place was a repurposed military hospital. There weren't so much rooms as sections all over the place to be divided by curtains. They each had dressers and rectangles drawn on the floor for where our bedding would go. THAT WAS IT! Nowhere to hide our stuff for safety and this clearly meant we would all have to share a bathroom. I hated sharing bathrooms with nasty strangers. There was only seven computers in the far back that had designated times they could be used. Ew, an odd number. No Tumblr for me this summer. We were shown the cafeteria where we would only be given bag meals until the cooks got here later in the week. Lovely. At least the bathrooms looked clean and had the shower wall but also personal stalls for everything. There was a 2:1 boy, girl ratio here so the girls would get to shower first. We were also shown a nice yard where we would have classes, games and other stuff. The lake was nice too. The counselors said we would all learn to swim then how to save a drowning person. Fuck, that was a lot of pressure for one kid!
"What if we are afraid of water?" Another kid spoke up.
"Tough shit, kid. You'll sink or swim." Replied an asshole counselor. This shut us all up.
A few moments later, we were being processed like it was a fucking concentration camp! My medication was taken to be given to some nurse so I would be on a strict schedule. At least I wasn't the only guy here on more pills than Elvis. Okay, I was only on three different ones these days but hyperbole was fun. At least the whole time, Craig was calmly holding my hand and no one complained. He just seemed bored at always. Now and then I would peck at his cheek to get his attention. A dorky bend would appear on his lips then I'd go back to pretending to ignore him. Then came horrible news...each section was for only ONE person! A whole summer, not snuggling up to Craig? That was going to fucking suck! I really didn't like it but was ready to deal if I had to.
"We can't be separated." Craig blurted out, causing everyone to look at him.
The counselors had noticed our hand holding and flirting and became annoyed. One stepped forward and looked down at us. She was so fucking tall that Craig had barely came to her breasts. This woman was one of the biggest butches I have ever seen.
"This is a behavioral camp, Mr. Tucker, not a couple's cruise."
"I am aware of that, ma'am." He began, politely. "But Tweek has severe anxiety disorder and um, other problems.” He whispered. “I promised his mom that I wouldn't let him hurt himself again."
He slyly turned my arm to show only her all the wrapped cuts from the glass during my embarrassing meltdown. This made the woman's eyes widen for just a second and he stood straight again. That slick son of a bitch.
"I'll mark it on your records. You two can take the corner." She tugged Craig's left hat flap. "But no funny business, you two."
"Yes ma'am. Thank you ma'am."
Craig nodded and I feigned an air of sheepishness I long ago abandoned. Just to drive home the act. Then...he flipped her off. The others all gasped. Craig, you dumb son of a bitch.
"DID YOU JUST FLIP ME OFF, MR. TUCKER!?"
"No?"
He seemed to truly not realize what he did. That damn habit of his along with eye rolling never went away. My turn to defend him before he was murdered by a giant woman!
"I'm sorry ma'am, he has ticks. He really can't control it-"
Craig did it again with a blank face. She and the others looked pissed but just marked it down again as mental disabilities before moving to the next camper. This was a long, boring process but all I could think was how much I loved Craig right now. The moment we got to our designated area, I pulled him to me and kissed his down turned lips until they curled.
"You didn't have to stick your neck out like that for me, dude." Of course I spoke this in a whisper.
"Don't mention it." Of course he spoke in his usual tone. "Unpack. I'll go get our beds."
So efficient and too the point. He left to get the bedding with the others while I was able to relax and organize our stuff. This was always my favorite part when we had sleepovers. Just lying out our stuff and putting them in an easy to access order. Then I noticed something that made me sweat. A sign that read as follows:
Things Not Allowed
Any illegal substances or objects.
(Obvious need not be stated.)
Computers or phones.
(There is a time and place for those.)
Junk Food.
(Candy, cookies, coffee, chips and similar CRAP.)
All of these things will be confiscated
My blood ran cold as I remember packing all of that into mine and Craig's bags. Several other kids noticed the signs too and began eating all and drinking of their goodies as fast as they could. One camper was already drunk! Craig returned to me devouring my peanut butter pretzels and my thermos of coffee.
"You okay?"
"Snacks are going to be confiscated!" I screeched as I shoved a few in his mouth.
He munched the crunchy treat quietly as he laid out our mats. It was two sucky nap mats, sheets, blankets and pillows. Very basic but sterile looking at least. After swallowing the dry ass pretzels he finally replied.
"That sucks. Hand me my chocolate then."
I did as asked and together we made up the 'room' and attempted to put a dent in our haul. They weren't taking my good coffee while I still drew breath! I hid it with our underwear in the dresser. Craig did the same with his many packs of gum. Guy totally had an oral fixation. The faint sound of others, chewing what I assumed was their collective stashes echoed in my ears.
"Ugh I h-hate smackers."
Craig instantly became self conscious and began to chew more quietly. After we put a considerable dent in our bags, we reluctantly set it out with the others for the freaking Nazis to take. They told us we had the rest of the night to check our mail and say good bye to social media before they would take our phones away. We even had the run of the place and could get our dinners now if we wanted. Last night of freedom. Craig went straight to his phone to text the others and make Facebook posts. I giggled—I mean laughed a bit and decided to use the computers.
"Gonna try out the PCs for a bit."
He gave me a nod, resting on both of our beds. These computers kind of sucked but they worked. A girl next to me was checking her Tumblr without safe search on. How dangerous! She asked about what several assumed was my weird, hot cousin. How could they not see we were a couple!?
"We've been dating for six years." I boasted while checking Facebook for Craig's post.
"You fuck your cousin!?" A guy next to me asked, making me choke on my own spit. I got a lot of weird looks after that.
"He's NOT my cousin and we-we don't do that...yet." My face must have been so red. My voice was cracking again too. Thankfully they left me alone after that when they saw I was just a gay boy and not a gay, incest freak.
It was strange and kind of nice being with other fuck ups. No one even asked about my bandages or the fading stitches on my boyfriend's face. They didn't even give it a second look. They might actually be more crazy than I am...well maybe not. After a few minutes I saw Craig's post! It was several picture of him making funny faces in a room full of smoke or steam. Hard to tell but there was a pissed Indian guy in the back. The post was titled 'Can't find what you can't see'. The post read:
'I guess I didn't hide well enough at the fog shop. Dad still found my ass and put me in this gay camp. (Not an actual gay camp. That would actually be fun.) RIP me :((( '
I shook my head, gave it and like then commented sarcastically. 'Right, "fog shop".' That was obviously somewhere he was too young to be hiding in. He replied with a heart. Dork.
And like dorks, we spent a good hour or so, texting each other from across the room. When I got off to ask Craig is he was ready for dinner, though...he was gone. Where could my guy have vanished of to? After a half assed search, I couldn't find him. I went to the cafeteria to grab some bags for us only to see there was one left! That didn't seem right. Some of these fat asses clearly grabbed more than their share.
"Is this all that's left?" I asked bored attendant who said that it was until seven in the morning. Needless to say, I grabbed that bag up fast and bailed. I just hoped Craig already got his dinner. He was so cranky when he skipped meals. Where was he? I looked all over, starting to feel kind of anxious. It felt weird not being next to him. I hugged the rather full mystery bag as I continued my search.
"Tweek." Came a slightly loud voice that was so nasal it could only be my Craig!
I turned to see him in a pair of blue sleep pants with a black and gray One Piece tank top on top of that. His hair was wet but he still had his hat over it. With his black hair and that stitched up gash, he looked like a discount Monkey D. Luffy. I ran over and gave him a tight hug, deeply inhaling his musk. He smelt like cheap camp soap and cinnamon.
"Ready to eat?" He stroked my hair, chomping on his gum.
"They ran out already, man! I grabbed the last one." I held it to him.
"That's just bad planning." He droned, shoulders slumping.
"I plan to share mine with you-"
I was cut off by him kissing me gratefully. He dipped me, supporting the small of my back as he squished our lips together and pulled back with a loud smack! Cinnamon scented air filled my lungs, burning my tongue! I licked my lips, savoring the spice. This got us a few weird looks from campers and yelled at by the one counselor watching. We apologized then ran to our mats to split of the sack in the sack!
It wasn't too bad of a haul for a crappy camp brown bag. There was a big orange, a salad, a roast beef sandwich full of other stuff, carrots with dressing and a cereal bar for dessert. We split it up pretty evenly. I gave Craig the bigger half of everything, though. That skinny boy needed it. We could not have him blowing away again. After we ate, several other kids joined us to converse and share stories on why they were here. Bradley was there for being an angry gay kid with dick parent. Also he set his old camp on fire. Douglas got caught breaking and entering. Gloria was a teen mother and well...that landed her here. She was pretty cute too but she kept flirting with Craig. I grabbed his whole arm to assert my dominance as the alpha gay.
Around 9:00 PM, we were all told to go wash up and hit the hay. Craig already beat me to it so I had to go shower with the other guys. It was so embarrassing stripping down around other dudes I did not know but thank God for private stalls. The hair/body soap they had was in dispensers. So freaking cheap but again, at least it was clean. I began washing, letting my mind begin to drift.
It would be fun to maybe sneak off and shower with Craig.
We could wash each other after a long, sweaty day.
Maybe even kiss under the hot shower spray.
I'd happily lose my virginity like that.
A quiet giggle left my nose. I covered my mouth to suppress all my ridiculous thoughts. Most likely, we would have a strict schedule here and be watched over. So yeah, nothing like that was going to happen by a long shot. It was fun to dream at least.
"Tweek."
I would be lying if I said I did not piss myself a little at the sudden intrusion of my fantasies. I peeked my head out to see my Craig. He was sitting on the floor, chewing gum and holding something out to me slightly. It was my pajamas! I must have forgotten them like a moron. I would have had to walk out naked to get them!
"Thank you so much." I gave him such an appreciative smile that he didn't return. I used to think that meant he was mad at me. It took a long time to realize that was just his face. He didn't need to return every little smile or touch.
"I'll be right out."
And I didn't need to make him. We did not need to always smile, kiss, hold hands or even be together. It just felt really nice sometimes. I knew it, Craig knew it and we both accepted it. Sometimes we both needed the other's affection and other times, we just did not. That was one of the things that helped us stop fighting so much. We just learned to accept the other's quirks. How else would a spaz and a human statue last so long?
We went back to our mats about the same time as everyone else. Those of us on meds were given our night time doses. The campers were nuts until a counselor barked for us to shut up. They all drew their privacy curtains that didn't even fully reach the ground. The lights went out and it was way too dark! Way too open and way to unguarded. Man, was I glad Craig managed to get us a space together. We pushed the mats close together so we could cuddle if we felt like it. Craig didn't seem to be in the mood tonight, unfortunately. We lied on our backs, staring at the black ceilings in silence. Shit, maybe he was mad at me. He was to my left. Time for a test. Casually I let my left hand hang out of my blankets. A few seconds passed before I felt some warm fingers tangle up with mine until they were properly aligned.
"Downhill from here." He grumbled softly. "Tomorrow we'll be brainwashed."
I couldn't help but laugh through my nose again. Then a bit through my mouth. Giving his hand a squeeze, I rolled over to look him in the eyes. "You're starting to sound like me."
"Oh God."
He sounded so scared by that and with his voice...yes. I let out a stupid, squeaky laugh before socking him in the arm.
"Ow....you're abusive. I'm calling my mom." I could just hear the smile on his face. He soon rolled over to face me again, blank face back to say hello. "We should do something, bad."
How original. Everyone here was probably planning some hell before the morning. I rolled me eyes at his proposal but decided to hear him out. What was he going to suggest?
Peeing in the drinks?
Setting fire to the ugly curtains?
Leaving condoms we didn't have all over the place?
"We should have sex. Loud sex. Right here." There was no tone to his voice but his eyes, while wide, were focused.
My face caught on fire at how serious he sounded. We never even got past second base and he was talking about losing our V-cards right here!? For everyone to hear?
"Are you insane?" Screeched out in a whisper. Oh how I hoped no one else heard this.
"No one is going to stop two gay kids in the middle of butt fucking."
I just glared at him, not as upset as I should have been but still pretty upset. He's known for a while that I wanted our first time to be at least KIND of special. His eyes cast downward in what I think was guilt.
"I'm sorry."
Sighing. "It's okay, dude." I scooted closer to him, sharing my blankets. "You're just an asshole. That's why we're here, remember?"
He didn't really smile but I got a dorky titter out of him. There it was at the end of his laugh! A curl at the edges of his mouth. I had to have them so I went for it. Shooting forward, my lips caught the left corner of his. I felt like a sucker fish but it was worth it when he parted those voluptuous lips of his. He let me taste him as much as I wanted and even pushed back against me. I am loving this Cinnamon gum kick he has been on. It made kissing him that much more exhilarating! Like the fire in my tummy was meeting his. Our lower hands remained glued together in the mats while our others went off in different directions. Mine went under his hat. His went under my shirt. I was pulling and fisting his hair while he groped my tummy and chest. I wonder what that says about us. Legs got tangled up in the sheets as they tried to find each other. His mouth was on fire from all that damn, wonderful cinnamon as my tongue lapped at it.
"Ngh...my leg..."
I stopped to look down at our legs. He had gotten his leg stuck in a very uncomfortable way. Like the good boyfriend I pretended to be, I pulled that pesky blanket up and straighten it out around us. Now we could comfortably pretend to be squids and knot our legs together. But before I could even turn back to him, Craig swiftly pinned me on my back! He drew me in with those eyes of his. Icy cold orbs with one lovely ring of fire around the outside. They weren't always like that. They used to be brown then one day after that trip to Peru they turned mostly blue. Also he could shoot eye lasers sometimes. That couldn't be good for his corneas. Regardless of all that, they were beautiful. They made him so sexy when he focused on only me with them. My heart raced as my smile grew for him.
"I love you." Gently escaped from my grin.
Only two things could get Craig Tucker's face to flush like it did. Guinea Pigs in party hats or me saying I loved him. Hence why I chose to never say it much. Made the following so much sweeter.
"Fuck you...fuck you, fuck you, fuck you."
He flipped me off, glaring with his entire face boiling before dropping his weight on me, hiding his face in my neck.
"Fuck your face, fuck your eyebrows, fuck your feet, fuck your face, fuck your voice, fuck your coffee, fuck your birds, fuck your whole life!" He screamed, completely muffled by my throat that he soon began kissing. He licked and nuzzled lovingly at my jugular, stricken by the emotions he could never express normally. They always came out in a weird mix. He loved on my neck, pulled my hair, called me names, hugged me and sometimes even cried. My dear Craig just couldn't handle feels. Not that I was complaining. This all felt great. Finally he returned to my mouth, nipping and sucking at my lips until they swelled. He was good about not leaving hickeys but awful about not leaving my lips swollen.
"Fuck you too, dude." I whisper into his mouth, stroking that silky hair under his chullo hat.
Craig made such sweet sounds when he could not handle his emotions any longer. A lovely mixture of breathy groans and soundless cries for attention. We knew others nearby could probably hear us but who the hell cares? It wasn't like we were trying to be loud or draw attention. We just forget where we are sometimes. This was one of those times.
“Pay attention to me.” Puffed from Craig's luscious lips.
He was so needy at times like this. I loved it. Ripping that hat off his head, I dug my fingers into his charcoal hair. Even after being washed in that cheap ass soap, it was still like silk. Eager whines oozed from him as his kisses found their way back to my mouth. He bit down on my bottom lip, sucking it until I whimpered. I could hear a few other campers whisper “What the fuck” in the background. Criag was being loud with his affections on purpose. Probably to pay me back for making him feel feelings.
Craig then threw his leg over me, dropping his pelvis down on my hips. He was straddling me! His palms were pressed to my chest, his nails were digging into my shirt. What was he planning?
"Y'know, I can't wait to do this to you for real one day.” His nasal voice uttered in such a strange way. It was lewd.
What the hell was he getting at? He popped up on his knees, just hovering over my crotch. My trouble making boyfriend started rocking his hips in an erotic fashion, never actually touching me! His index finger was brought to his mouth and he bit it. There was 'pretend' lust in his eyes now before he spoke. "Mmm yeah tiger, gimme that big old meat stick of yours. Mmm..."
It was so hard not to laugh that I had to cover my damn mouth. I flailed my hands for him to keep it down but he just kept moaning and giving me a fake lap dance. This was so weird! Craig was really getting into it, writhing and jerking his hips enchantingly. He was a little TOO good at pretending to ride a dick.
"Stop it Craig, someone is gonna hear us." I squeaked. He pressed his hands to my chest and nuzzled my baby face. Okay, now I was a tiny bit aroused. Planting dainty kisses on my cheeks, he took his seat once again.
"I want em to hear daddy." His voice was still pretty damn monotone, making this more hilarious when he tried so hard to sound seductive.
My lungs were filled with pressure that I had to fight to keep down. Sexy yes, but this was so damn funny! Was Craig trying to get us thrown out of here or something? Because if so, I was all for it. Then I finally noticed that he stopped moving. Craig was just lying on me with his face hidden in my neck.
“You okay, Craig?” My hands returned to his hair in a soothing manner.
He groaned something that I questioned, still stroking his locks. In response he wriggled against me softly. My eyes widened when I realized why he was so still. His pretend ride made a real mess.
“I didn't plan that part.”
Now I really could not stop laughing at my simply adorable, wonderful, lovely nerd of a boyfriend. Thankfully, it just came out as a cute giggle instead of a ridiculing cackle. I locked my arms round his back, working my linked fists up and down his back. This soothing motion relaxed him enough for him to cling to my torso.
“Are you really p-planning to let me top our first time, dude?”
“Yes.”
“I'll try not to fuck it up.” I gave him a playful pat on the butt, smirking.
Clingy bastard wrapped all his limbs around me, stealing my lips for his own once more. Like before my lungs are pleasantly assaulted with the burn of cinnamon. A feeling I will never get tired of as long as I live. I part my lips for Craig's most skilled muscle to curl around my own. We closed our swollen lips around the other's while he feasted on our shared flavor. Is there even a better mix than coffee and cinnamon? If there is, I haven't found it yet.
After a satisfying make out session, we passed out with our arms all twisted up together. As wonderful as that was, it made getting woken up by a horn at six in the fucking morning suck so much more. We were assigned our camp uniforms. Red, gender neutral shorts and white T-shirts like something out of the damn 70's. They barely covered Craig's thighs and the shirt wouldn't tuck in the way he liked it. I'm not complaining.
“I've never felt more sexy.” He droned sarcastically, tugging on his shorts, making us all snort.
After all being marched out for role call, we got to have a real breakfast. We were given cereal, milk, fruit and some disgusting choices of drinks. We could have more milk, orange drink or piss poor coffee. I would have to settle for it until I could make my own. We were not allowed to talk above a whisper, slouch, pick at our food or really do anything aside from eat. This was our first lesson on the day. Basic table manners and etiquette. Craig was crushing it despite being half asleep. He had already been through this kind of shit a few times in his life. The rest of the campers...not so much.
“Why the fuck can't we talk or eat outside or something!? It's a lovely fucking day and you're keeping us locked in this dank ass building!?” A younger boy snapped. The official made him go eat outside by himself. Everyone laughed at that loser.
After breakfast, those of us on them, got our meds before joining the others to clean the whole canteen. This will be part of our routine everyday that we are here. This along with table manners, learning to cook with the head chef and behavioral management would be a daily thing. Everything else would come a week at a time. They were as followed:
Week One: Swimming.
Week Two: Camping and Survival.
Week Three: Team Sports.
Week Four: Dressing and Dancing.
Week Five: The Arts.
Week Six: Tests and Graduation Party.
This was going to be about as fun as regular fucking school. I should have hit more kids so I could just go to jail at this point. After we finished our chores, we all had to change into swimsuits. The girls had blue one-pieces and us boys got these ugly blue shorts. They were basically speedos with some leg to them. Well for the most of us. Poor Craig could barely cover his ass with his. Not that I was complaining.
“Can I just wear my other shorts?” Craig raised his hand, digging out a wedgie.
“Mr. Tucker, shut the fuck up and stop digging in your ass.” The instructor completely ignored him. “Alright, everyone that cannot swim to the left. Those who can, to the right.”
I took my boyfriend's free hand and headed to the right side with the others. He shot me a surprised look, trying to halt my stride.
“Tweek, what are you doing?” He wore a concerned look.
“What? I can swim.” I spat before admitting. “Not that well but I can swim.”
The dick looked legitimately surprised, dropping both hands for a moment. A few others were stunned to see me in the swimmer's line. What was the big deal!?
“So you CAN swim? Like for real?” I was questioned again but just replied with folded arms and a peeved glance. Craig's lips suddenly curled up when he realized I was serious. “I am so taking to noodling for your birthday.”
A harsh blush spread on my face at his words. I had no idea was 'noodling' was but it sounded sexual. The instructor got us familiar with the lake before leaving us swimmers to play while the basics lesson began for the non-swimmers. Most of us just waded around or swam out for fun. I would have been more worried about germs, sharks or other shit if I wasn't so perplexed by what Craig proposed. What the actual fuck did noodling mean? Was that a YAOI thing? I better ask before things got weird. Please don't let him think I am stupid or worse 'innocent'.
“Uhh, Cr-Craig...what is noodling again?” That came out so much more meek than I planned it. He turned to me and was about to answer but some dick munch cut him off.
“It's totally that redneck fishing thing when you stick your-” He dove under the water a moment. “-In the giant catfish's mouth to catch them!”
All the color left my face and I screamed! “I stick my WHAT in a giant fish!?” I spun to my Craig and shook him violently. “I don't want to do that, Craig! Don't make me dick fish! I'm only sixteen!”
His eyelids just fluttered like he had no idea what I was talking about. His mouth was ajar as he narrowed his eyes next. After a few seconds he gave me a weird look. “Dude, noodling just means you catch the fish with your ARM in its mouth.”
“Oh...WELL THAT ISN'T MUCH BETTER! What if it bites my arm off!?” I kept shaking him.
“Catfish don't have teeth.” He then gave my arm a squeeze. “And I don't think a fish could bite through all this beef.”
I could feel my back heat up and a retarded grin growing on my face. The others were laughing so much, they could not breath. That was such a bad attempt to flirt...and it was working.
“Dammit, Craig!” I playfully slapped his chest, then shoved him lightly. “Why do you have to be such a gay asshole?”
“Isn't that why most of us are here?”
His tone was so dry it made me dehydrated. Bradley whooped from the non-swimmers side of the lake. All I could think to do was just dunk my dumb boyfriend. Partly for his stupid jokes and partly for wearing his hat in the water.
“Abuse! Abuse! I'm just a child!” He gurgled out as I tackled his skinny butt back into the water.
After swim lessons, we got to change back and attend all our classes, lunch and got some free time. This wasn't so bad but it was exhausting without some good coffee coursing through my veins. Time to get myself the good shit! My father made me a homemade instant coffee just for this trip. It would be almost as strong as the brew back home and all I needed was boiling water.
“This is a bad idea.”
“No shit but I n-need my fix.”
“You're such a bad boy.”
“Yup, but it will be worth it.”
“I think you have a problem.”
“Holy crap, shut up. Stick to the plan.”
We were sneaking into the kitchen when it wasn't time to be in there. Who knows what would happen if we got caught? Would they split us up? Kick us out? THROW US IN THE LAKE WITH THE LAKE SHARKS!? All these things scared me but dammit to hell, I needed my caffeine fix! So I quietly dashed passed the one lady that worked in the kitchen while Craig walked in front of her.
“Ma'am, I think I've started my period.” Just as planned, he said it with such a serious face the woman really have to think about it.
“Um, but aren't you a boy--ooooh. Oh my...well, do you need a pad?”
She was falling for it! Meanwhile I filled my thermos with fresh water before popping it into the microwave. He just had to keep her busy for a minute and 35 seconds.
“I'd prefer a tampon if you have one, please.” The polite tone to his voice really sold it.
She began digging in her purse while my water heated up in secret. There was another minute left! I waved for him to drag this out.
“Can you tell me how to use one again, please? I am sorry.”
She was embarrassed but sympathetic to his problem enough to start explaining tampons to a boy. YES! The timer was about to go off so I stopped it before the alarm. Scalding hot water, safe in my container. I signaled him that we were in the clear before bailing.
“And that is all you need to do-”
“Sorry, false alarm. I just remembered I don't have a vagina.” He just stared at her for a moment then walked the fuck away, popping gum into his mouth. Oh how I love that boy.
We rendezvous at our mats where I was already indulging in my favorite life giving sustenance. Craig flopped down next to me, drawing the curtains shut. Hopefully he wasn't too mad about the plan exploiting him. His arm was wrapped around my leg so perhaps he was not.
“W-want some?” I offer a cup to my boyfriend, gingerly.
“I'm good, dude.”
Sometimes it was really hard to tell if he was annoyed or just tired. After downing another cup, I replaced the lid to my container. My blight haired best friend rolled over to face me. Those enchanting eyes of his were locked on to my own. My hands cradled his head, smoothing his hair. I leaned down, planting a kiss on his nose then his lips before sitting up. This got a baby grin out of him.
“Thank you, Craig.” My teeth showed through my grin more than I would have liked but it made his smiled grow so much. It was worth it.
“Anytime.” His face went back to default.
Craig was such a perfect boyfriend that often it felt like I was taking advantage of him. Sometimes I feared that his feelings were just me projecting onto him. Sure, he was sweet most of the time but what did he really think at times like this?
End Chapter one.