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Standing like this on the tower, overlooking the world, it almost seems fine. Like they're good, and everything is good, and the world is good, and Will wasn't forced to come out by some hellish entity, and they are not on their way to an imminent death. Mike can pretend he doesn't know his bestfriend is in love with him. WIll can pretend he doesn't know that Mike knows. They can stand there, frozen, and wait the end of the world out. Maybe that's what they should do. Sit down, close their eyes, let their friends, or really, anyone, deal with Vecna and the monsters. Be kids, like they used to.
That's not what they do.
Mike turns to look at Will
"How long?"
He doesn't specify. He doesn't need to.
"What does it matter now?"
"How long?" he repeats and really, why not?
"I don't know. A while? Probably ever"
There it is. The words float between them, heavy. Mike nods. It's one thing to think you know, it's another to actually do. But hearing it? He doesn't think anybody can ever be ready for that.
"Why didn't you say something? Before?"
Will looks him in the eye. He doesn't think he's ever looked at him like this before
"What would you have done?"
Mike can't answer that. He doesn't know.
"Exactly" Will sighs, looks away
They stand like this for a second, just letting the confession sit between them.
"You never gave me a chance to"
"What?"
Mike isn't looking at him. He's not avoiding his eyes, either. He doesn't think Mike is really seeing anything. He never has.
"I don't know what I would have done. You never gave me a chance to"
Will doesn't know what to say. There's no right answer. But he can try to be honest. For Mike; for himself. He owes them that.
"I don't think I wanted you to know. Wanting you, loving you, it's been a part of me for so long" He chokes on his next breath. He's never said this out loud before "Even when I didn't know who I was, or what parts of my memories were Vecna, i knew this-" He waves a finger between them " i knew this was all me. It hurt, seeing you with El, god I wanted to rip my heart out but-"
He stops, trying to think of a way to make sense of all this. Mike is looking at him now, waiting, his eyes soft the way they used to be. And for a second he's 11 again, Mike is sleeping next to his hospital bed, and he's lying there, loving him. He's starting to tear up and he's so mad at himself, but he can't help it. He swallows a sob. Maybe this is his last chance, and if he's dying tonight, then he can be brave. He takes a deep breath, thinks of Mike at 5, at 10, at 14, of Mike now, looking at him, so genuine, so soft, so terribly, infuriatingly Mike. He can do this.
"but I couldn't imagine myself and loving you not being a part of it. It's carved in my DNA, it's written in the stars, I love you, Mike, and I don't think I could have lived if I'd had to get over you" His bottom lip quivers "and I'm sorry I said you were my Tammy, because you're so much more and I know we might be dying tonight and it doesn't matter now, but, I guess the reason I couldn't let go of you was because I needed something good when everything else was going to shit. There was my dad and then the upside down and Vecna and I just- I didn't want to move on. You were safe, I suppose. I could want you, and yearn, and hurt, and be perfectly, completely safe because it was you. It was always going to be you. I don't think I'm ever gonna love someone the way that I love you. I don't think I want to"
Will closes his eyes, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. It felt right, saying it all now. Mike reaches out, wiping a tear away with his thumb. When Will opens his eyes, Mike smiles at him and it is so gentle that he feels his heart melt. Then he takes him in his arms and it's like nothing has changed. He said it, he said everything he had ever wanted to say and they were still them. Mike and WIll. WIll and Mike.
"We might be dying tonight" Mike says when they part, mirrorring his earlier words and Will tilts his head, confused "We might be dying tonight and you're my bestfriend, Will. You're the best person I know. And I love you" They lock eyes and the lack of hesitation when he says it, even after everything, makes Will fall all over again "I want you to have everything you've ever wanted"
Mike seems to make a decision there and when he opens his mouth again, his voice is soft, but there is a slight edge to it
"Close your eyes"
Will frowns. He's just laid his heart out for him and Mike can't even say whatever he has to say facing him?
"I need you to trust me" Mike pleads and they have already gotten that far.
Will let his eyes fall close and waits. He doesn't know what to expect. Mike's always been terrible at feelings and this is unfortunately not unfamiliar. He still remembers the door it took between them for Mike to apologise to him. Or to tell El that he loved her... His thoughts come to an abrupt stop when he feels lips on his. It's soft at first, just a brush of skin on skin, like Mike's testing the waters. Making sure this is okay. Then his hands craddle Will's face and WIll is a goner. They kiss slow and deep, WIll standing on his toes and grabbing onto Mike's shoulders for balance and Mike pulling him in by his face. It's everything Will ever dreamed it'd be.
When they part a few minutes later, they're gasping for breath. Mike smiles at him, grabbing his bag on the ground and bumping his shoulder into his
"You're coming, sorcerer?"
Will smiles back
"Always"
Maybe they're going to die. Maybe they won't. Maybe it doesn't matter. Because it's WIll, and it's Mike, and maybe that's all there is.