Chapter Text
Working for the headmage isn't so bad. Is it because I introduced the idea of a labor union the ghosts?
Yes.
There's something beautiful about the way he starts panicking when I call for a strike.
The stress comes when working with certain teachers.
Being an assistant to Professor Crewel is even more terrifying than being his student. I have to memorize ingredients, potion recipes, and safety procedures. I'm expected to know how and when something will go wrong, as well as how to stop it.
Me and the fire extinguisher are besties. And the fire blanket, and the fume hood, and the potion neutralizers.
"Deuce, if you put that in without stirring, it's going to explode," I warn with the fire blanket at the ready.
"Oh, thanks Moth."
"Call me prefect while I'm on the job." I tap my staff badge. He nods stiffly at my newfound professionalism.
"Yes, prefect," he responds.
I'm exhausted by the end of homeroom. At least only one person caught on fire. I was on top of that shit.
"Good boy," Crewel praises me. Who let this man be a teacher?
History is mostly the same as before, except maybe Professor Trein is watching me a bit closer than usual.
I'm off the clock! I don't sleep in your class! Give me a break!
At least Lucius is nice to me. "Mroooow."
"Yes, sir. Thank you." I have no idea what he's saying.
"Dude, I know you can't understand him. Why do you always respond to the cat like that?" Ace questions.
"Because he's important and has important things to say. And his name is Lucius, but you would know that if you stayed awake longer than five minutes."
"You're cheating with those energy drinks," he accuses. "Man, I don't know you haven't had a heart attack yet."
"Bold words coming from someone who borrows my notes," I retort. I wave said notes in front of his face.
"Yeah, yeah. Let me take pictures before you go back into 'prefect mode.' It weirds me out." The redhead shudders. "You've already got that blank stare, now you're pretending to be all proper."
"Ace, stop being rude. They're taking the job seriously, and we have to respect that," Deuce points out. He puts a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, I'm proud of you."
"Thanks Deuce, that really means a lot."
I help out the art professor for third period. I think he's hungover.
The class is just drawing a bowl of fruit. I don't really know why I'm here other than letting the teacher get away with sleeping on the job.
If somebody looks troubled, I try to give encouragement. While idle, I go ahead and do the assignment too. It's leagues better than having gym.
Vargas scares me.
I meet my friends at the top of the stairs overlooking main street. They're making interesting faces. I ask what happened while we walk to our next class.
"Dude, coach started sobbing when he saw Grim without you." Ace reports. "It was fucking weird." The redhead puffs out his chest in imitation of the coach. "He was all, 'I hope Atropos comes to me when they realize the beauty of physical exertion,' what the heck does that mean?"
I take Grim from Deuce's arms and scoff.
"He's still going on about that? That's so scary. I would never go out of my way to seek him out. He started bawling his eyes out when he found out I wasn't gonna be in gym anymore," I reveal. Bargain bin Gaston so terrify.
I full-body shudder at the thought.
"He started crying in the middle of class, ran 30 laps, and yelled into his megaphone at anyone not running fast enough," Deuce recounts the horrific events to me. He looks undisturbed by it. He's a fast runner, so he was fine. But some of us are athletically challenged.
"It's stuff like this that makes me wonder why there isn't a therapist on campus."
"What's a therapist?" Grim asks. I give him a brief explanation. "You kinda do that." I stop dead in my tracks.
Ace and Deuce look back at where I'm frozen.
"Don't say stuff like that. If you say it out loud, people might start getting ideas." Birdlike people who show up at the worst times. "And I do not have the qualifications to be a therapist."
"I was just sayin you listen to people talk and give advice. Who said anything about koala vacations?" I snicker at his misunderstanding.
We continue the walk to our next class. Grim better not have just manifested something. I wouldn't put it past Crowley to make me the fucking school therapist.
The cafeteria is packed by the time lunch rolls around. Apparently some bakery sells their goods at the school once a month.
One of the kitchen ghosts pulls me aside and hands me a sandwich from the bakery. That's so nice. Sorry Ortho, I'm gonna have to eat it really fast so I don't get beat up by one of these fucking freaks.
Grim can't help himself, and starts cutting in line to try to get something good. "Hey! Outta my way, losers! That grilled cheese is mine!" I hear him yell.
I've been there before.
He gets into a fight with some randos and gets backed up by Ace and Deuce. I just sit back at the table with my other Heartslabyul friends and judge them.
"Are you gonna stop them?" Trey asks.
I pretend to consider for a moment, then say, "I'm off the clock." I see Grim jump off somebody's head with several goods in his mouth. I'm so proud. "Besides, it's enrichment."
"Uh huh," the vice housewarden slowly nods in agreement.
"People get so crazy on bakery day," Cater adds. "Anyway, lets talk Magicam." That has my attention. "So you posted that crusty rat thing-"
"Rat king," I emphasize.
"Yeah, yeah, whatevs. What are you gonna do for 1k?"
"Dunno. There's a dead raccoon out back of Ramshackle I might wire it's skeleton or something on live," I say before shoving a fork full of food in my mouth.
My collaborator's face twists into a grimace. "Like, I respect this freaky vulture culture thing you got going on," Cater shakes his hand like he's trying to get something nasty off it, "but what if we did something that didn't lose you followers?" That's a good point.
"What, like a mukbang? A thirst trap? I'm not hustling or anything," Cater hums as I give ideas. "Like I'm cool with the video with Silver giving me moderate attention," he looks like he's gonna dispute that, "but I don't need any larger of a target on my back."
"Is anyone giving you trouble?" Riddle inquires. That's a loaded question.
"Ace," I joke. "But seriously, I just get weird looks most of the time. They aren't always hostile per se... just, I'm more visible, I guess." I wave my staff badge around. "This at least makes people think twice before doing something stupid. I'm just not worth messing with."
"There's some real pieces of work at this school, just be careful," Trey advises. "Besides, spelldrive season is here, and people get a little worked up over it."
Ah, sportsball.
Cater covers his mouth and leans in, "absolutely do not utter the word sportsball near any Savanaclaw student," he mutters low. "That will get you on the news." Noted. His phone buzzes. "Oop, I'm off. TTYL!"
The tall ginger flits away. Trey looks after him longingly before getting up too. Huh. (Married ass behavior.)
Grim scampers back to our table with a grilled cheese sandwich and a couple of pastries. Ace and Deuce follow close behind. "Ha! Guess who scored the last deluxe grilled cheese sandwich? This guy. That's why they call me Grim the Great!" I pat him on the head once he returns to my side.
"Good hunting, my boy." I raise my energy drink in his honor. The monster beams at me.
"Myahahaha! I'm gonna savor the flavor of this victory!" Grim boasts.
"Pardon me, friend." A student with large hyena ears slides up between me and Grim. The fuck does he want? "I see you were able to get your hands on the highly-prized deluxe grilled cheese sandwich. Incredible!"
???
I watch the little exchange with suspicion. Cater had JUST warned me about Savanaclaw students.
He tries to get Grim to swap his sandwich for an empty hot dog bun like a fucking moron. No one is going to fucking fall for that.
I feel a strange sensation on the back of neck as Grim begins to hand the sandwich over. "Myah? What in the name of tuna...?! My paws are movin' on their own!" For some reason, Grim hands over his sandwich and takes the hot dog bun.
The hyena boy gives a shit eating grin. "Looks like we have ourselves a deal! Shyeheehee!" He laughs behind his hand. "What luck that I found a kind soul willing to trade. You enjoy that hot dog bun, I do hope you can find something to fill it with. Maybe a squirt of ketchup would imitate the real thing? Anyway, nice doing business with you. Toodles!" The motherfucker has the gall to wave over his shoulder and wink at us.
Grim begins to cry, "M... M... Myaaaaaaah! My deluxe grilled cheeeeeeese! Aw, maaan..." He sniffles, "this is... the worst day... of my pathetic life!" He gets out in between bites of his food. At least he still has something else to eat.
I clench my hands awkwardly with my fake nails. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? I take a deep breath to try to ground myself. Demure, mindful... "Riddle," I force out through clenched teeth, "who was that? I need a name."
The housewarden flicks his gaze between where the Savanaclaw student left and my deceptively blank face. "Ruggie Bucchi, second year, class B." Riddle's eyes snap to my hands where I furiously type the information into my notes app. "What are you going to do?"
"What could a magicless prefect possibly do to him?" I ask in the sweetest, most innocent sounding voice I can.
Grim sniffles loudly before Riddle can ask a follow up question. "My sandwich..."
"Poor thing," I comfort. "I'll make something good for you later." I pet his head.
"Thanks hench-human, you're the best."
Deuce shakes his head. "I still don't get why you even traded at all. You were so excited for that sandwich," he points out.
"I didn't!" Grim argues. "It's like, when he put out his hand, my paw just shot out—like it was copyin' his! It all happened so fast..." That's fucking weird. I type the testimonial underneath Ruggie's entry on my shit list.
I tune out the rest of Grim's back and forth with Ace and Deuce.
Ruggie did something to Grim. And he was fucking brave to do it in front of me. I tap my nails on the table.
My thoughts are interrupted by both my and Riddle's phones going off at the same time.
Stupid Bird: There will be a housewarden meeting this afternoon.
Please bring the finalized rosters for the interdorm spelldrive tournament.
I have a bad feeling about this. I send a quick text to Crowley asking why I'm in the housewarden group chat.
Stupid Bird: You will be attending the meeting in my stead!
How wonderful!
I will send you the itinerary. Oh! I am just so kind!
[Document attached]
I take a deep breath. This fucking bird. I'm going to strangle him and stuff a pillow with his shitty feathers.
Me: Sounds great! I'll do my best!
Stupid Bird: Fantastic! I knew I could count on you!
I bang my head on the table a few times.
This is going to be annoying.
Riddle is kind enough to walk with me to the meeting. He even gives a crash course on the names of the other people attending.
Apparently Kalim is very nice and won't pose a problem. Azul won't antagonize someone unless he directly benefits from it. Vil will most likely be neutral about my presence. Leona is somewhat of a mixed bag, but I should be fine as long as I don't waste his time.
I stop in front of the mirror chamber to shake out the last of my anxiety and say the line, "this is it Luigi," to hype myself up.
"Is that a reference to something from your hometown?" Riddle asks me. We've decided to reference anything from my world as from my home town.
"Yeah, there's this plumber guy named Mario and his brother is Luigi. It's a line in this one game. It got used in a bunch of weird videos later, so most people know it from there," I elaborate while he checks over my appearance.
Once my tie is straight and lapel free of creases, we step inside the mirror chamber to wait for the meeting to start. We are the first to arrive, but Vil joins us shortly after. The tall man greets Riddle with a brief, "good afternoon, Riddle." He looks me up and down before simply saying, "prefect."
"Nice to meet you, Housewarden Shoenheit," I respond. He's so tall. He circles me a few times, really taking in my appearance for some reason.
Ah! He's scary! Riddle! You were wrong! He looks confused at Vil's behavior too.
This is so terrifying. But I will be professional even if it kills me. I stay still while I'm judged by the elegant man.
Once he's seemingly satisfied, the Pomefiore Housewarden takes his seat. I release a small huff. Holy shit.
Next to arrive is Azul. He immediately comes up to me for a handshake. "It's nice to meet you under better circumstances, prefect." But the entrance ceremony was much more interesting because of me and Grim. He greets Riddle before turning his attention back to me. "You've been the talk of the campus lately, and I've wanted to touch bases for quite some time." He gives a slimy smile.
I give him an equally fake smile. "Likewise, Housewarden Ashengrotto. I've heard great things about the Mostro Café, though I haven't had the time to go myself. I'll be sure to go soon. When are your operational hours?"
He gives an even faker, more sinister smile. "No need, I'll make sure to treat you well even after our normal hours." Alright, I need to make sure not to go there at least an hour before their kitchen closes. Their hours are probably online somewhere. "I understand you are here in lieu of the headmage. I'm in charge of this meeting, as I am the head of the planning committee, but there will time for you to speak." He pushes up his glasses. "I'll turn the meeting over to you when the time comes." I'll take slimy salesman over whatever the fuck Vil was doing.
"I appreciate it." Azul nods once before turning his attention to the housewarden still watching me intently. I get the sense the two of them are judging me, but I cannot bring myself to care. As long as they keep it to themselves and don't cause me problems, I'm fine.
"Oh! That's the prefect! Hi!" Someone boisterously yells from somewhere behind me. You know what, I think I prefer the silent judgement. The person I assume is Kalim Al-Asim grabs my hand in both of his and shakes it up and down. "Cater's always telling me the crazy stuff you're getting up to. Oh, you really seem like a riot! I follow you on Magicam, you're so funny! We should party sometime!"
What.
"Um," I start before mentally slapping myself. Business. Yes. It's business time. "It's nice to meet you, Housewarden Asim."
He beams at me. "No need for that! Just call me Kalim! People call you Moth, right? Can I call you that?" Wow, he is so much.
"While I'm working, I prefer to be called prefect or by my last name, Atropos, or a combination of the two. Once the meeting is over we can talk normally. For now let's keep it formal," I negotiate with the excitable man.
"Oh, yeah!" Kalim seems to remember where we are and looks sheepish for a second. "We can talk over a meal later. Oh, Jamil is just the best cook. You'll love it!" I get the feeling this Jamil guy must be exhausted constantly. I think he takes my hestitance as agreement and flits to the other people in the room before I can get another word in. "Hi Riddle! Hi Vil! Hi Azul!"
Riddle chuckles. "He's quite a handful. Though he means well." That's a fucking understatement. I blink hard at the redheaded housewarden in shock. He chuckles again, "so Kalim can fluster you, good to know."
I open my mouth to respond, but it's business time. I can't. I narrow my eyes at Riddle's smug expression instead.
"Idia! Hi!" Kalim exclaims to the floating tablet entering the room.
The tablet freezes(?) in place before quickly hiding(?) behind me. It's not enough to be hiding behind a screen, he has to hide behind me as well. "Good afternoon, Housewarden Shroud."
"Eh? So those rumors of your prefect mode were true. Whee hee hee. Don't run out of mana lol," Ipad Kid taunts. I'm a dual blade main, I got this.
"So you're already acquainted with Idia, you really are great at networking," Azul chimes in. "Building rapport is an important skill, not just for making friends, but also making connections in business." Oh, he's like actually a business guy.
"Careful, his attention means he wants something from you," Idia explains. "Don't sign anything he gives you."
I laugh behind my hand and mutter a quick, "I always pick the businessman route, I got this." The tablet display changes from 'sound only' to 'muted.' Riddle furrows his brow and quirks his head. No doubt he's confused. I think direct exposure to a dating sim would kill him instantly.
"Whee hee hee, spoken like a charisma caster. I'll DM you when the board game club starts a campaign." With that, his tablet floats to his assigned seat.
"I couldn't parse a single thing the two of you were talking about. Were you speaking in encoded messages?" Riddle asks. He's not entirely wrong. I give a noncommital hum to spare him the brain damage.
A few minutes go by and finally Leona saunters in. "Good afternoon Housewarden Kingscholar," I greet. His gaze flicks to me briefly before he takes his seat. That's fine by me, but I hear Riddle mutter something rude under his breath.
Azul stands up and begins, "well, now that everyone is here, we may start the meeting." But the Diasomnia housewarden isn't here. I say as much to the room and they all jolt to varying degrees. "Erm, yes, he is known to have... difficulties with technology. Yes, it should be fine to begin without him."
???
Are they all fucking scared of him? Pussies. "I can go to fetch him myself, I'll be there on official business, it should be no problem." Riddle grabs my sleeve and shakes his head emphatically.
"Yeah go ahead, if you wanna end up a blood splatter on the wall," Leona taunts.
I place my hand on my chin in thought. "That's an acceptable amount of risk, I'll be back shortly." I stand up as if I'm actually going to get him. The lion beastman blinks in shock but schools his face quickly. The other housewardens wear their reactions much more openly. Ha. Gottem.
Riddle grabs my sleeve again and forces me to sit back down. His ahoge are sticking straight up. "Stop making jokes like that! They are not funny!" the redhead chastises. They're a little funny. I pat his hand to placate him.
"I can send a message to his vice housewarden instead, how about that?" I offer. Riddle calms down and sits back in his chair.
"Yes, that's acceptable," he concedes. His ahoge return to their natural state once his shock subsides.
I shoot Lilia a DM on Magicam and he just sends a thumbs up emoji. Hmm.
"Well, that's wonderful, you even have connections in Diasom-" Azul gets cut off as Lilia appears right above him. "Ahh!"
"Hello~! So sorry, Malleus broke his phone again. He's busy today, so you'll have to make due with me. Khee hee," the upside down man informs.
I'm impressed how quickly he got here. "Send my condolences to your housewarden about his phone for me. Anyway, once you take your seat we can begin," I say and nod to the still shellshocked Azul.
Lilia floats down next to me and rubs his cheek on top of my head. "Oh dear, we've lost the Moth to the Prefect," he laments. I'm starting to think my 'prefect mode' is unnecessary. Is this an official meeting or a playdate?
"Mr. Vanrouge, let's not take up anymore time with unrelated matters. Please take a seat." I gesture to the empty chair.
"Fine, fine. Let's begin," the vice housewarden acquiesces.
Vil looks between me and Lilia with narrowed eyes. Holy shit he's scary. Like in a sexy way, but still so terrify.
Azul clears his throat before immediately going into details about the spelldrive tournament. I had prepared to take notes, but there isn't really anything important for me to note down.
For example, Vil chimes in with, "this year, I'll have to work extra hard on my makeup to make sure I'm shining like a diamond on the new Ultravision displays. With all the exertion, I'll need to be touching it up constantly!" I respect it, but it's not really that important for record keeping.
Riddle even mutters under his breath, "House Pomefiore is the only dorm that regularly calls timeouts to fix their makeup." These people are deeply unserious.
Azul gets through the rest of his spiel with only minor interruptions. "That's all on the agenda from the committee, Prefect, you have the floor."
"Thank you, Mr. Ashengrotto. I'll get right to it." I clear my throat. "The headmage has proposed that the Diasomnia housewarden be inducted in the spelldrive hall of fame, thus disqualifying him from the tournament in the name of fairness." Lilia gives a very proud nod. Malleus must be really good at sportsball. "He has already agreed, so it's up to the other members of the committee." Everyone else looks fucking pissed, except Kalim, and probably Idia. "I will report the results of the vote to the headmage after this meeting." I sit down once I'm done addressing the room.
Ah, this is scary.
Leona slams the table and growls. Fucking growls like a CEO in a romance novel. "Ain't nothin' I hate more than someone tellin' me 'you can't win' before I even begin to fight." I'm proud of myself for not shrinking down into my chair. "You expect us to take that insult lying down?" Please do.
"That is the information given to me by the headmage to pass along to the spelldrive committee. A simple yes or no is all that I require. Everyone has their own motivations, which is none of my concern," I remark. Lilia makes an incredibly smug face. If I wasn't fighting for my life right now, I would be giggling. "If you have any comments or concerns, please direct them to the headmage's email." Please bother him so much that he never makes me do this ever again. Pretty please with mothballs on top.
Ah was that the wrong thing to say? Leona looks so scary. He's baring his fangs at me. Am I going to die today? At least he's hot. Please bother Crowley. I had nothing to do with this.
Thankfully, he begins taunting the other housewardens into shutting down the idea. I have no idea what their problem with Malleus is. Leona is very passionately going off about how he wants to crush him and have his sad face broadcasted on live television.
Lilia smiles cheekily at me across the table and waves. At least he doesn't seem too offended by all this talk. Ah, I just wanna gossip and joke around with him.
Leona is still going off about Malleus. Dude, nobody actually gives a fuck about the why. He seems to get through whatever was on his chest. His muscular chest- Focus! Some of the other housewardens look convinced. So petty.
I would say I'm surprised by Riddle agreeing, but I would be lying. We love a petty king, er, queen? I respect the gender fuckery and the absolute pettiness.
"That's four votes against. Housewarden Asim, what is your vote?" I inquire.
"Let him play! It's more fun with someone so strong to beat!" That's a very Kalim answer.
"Housewarden Shroud, what is your vote?"
"Ugh. I'm the only one that wants him in the hall of fame. Whatever, it doesn't matter. Let him play." Same, Ipad Kid, same.
"I will pass along the result of the vote to the headmage. That is everything from him, thank you all. Back to you, Mr. Ashengrotto." Ah, that's so nerve wracking.
Azul nods and closes out the meeting.
I give brief goodbyes to everyone while making my way to the teleport mirror. Can't stop or I'll be roped into endless conversation.
Leona glares at me the whole way.
I send the headmage a message, and he invites me to go directly into his office through the mirror.
I let out a breath once I'm on the other side.
"Prefect! Thank you for attending the meeting. Oh, I was simply inundated with work." His computer isn't even on. There's a fucking match three game open on his phone! This asshole. He guides me by the shoulders to sit in front of his desk. "So, tell me, did they accept my suggestion?"
"Housewarden Kingscholar was passionately against the idea," I report. "I think it might have skewed the results. All parties voted against your suggestion." The lights in his mask narrow.
"I see." Crowley strokes his chin in thought.
"If I asked each party individually, they most likely would have agreed." Can I leave now? I need to scream into a pillow, maybe even break something.
"Mr. Draconia is an unstoppable force when it comes to spelldrive," the headmage begins. Goddammit. He goes into a speech about how great this guy is and how nobody can beat him.
I. Do. Not. Care.
"That's interesting. With that track record, you would think they would agree to the proposal. I definitely would," I share, to hopefully make this conversation end sooner. I'm more concerned about what I'm eating for dinner than who gets to play sportsball.
It looks like he's going to let me leave, but he seems to remember something. "Oh, before I forget. There always seems to be 'mysterious' accidents around this time of year. If you would be so kind, could you keep an eye out? I am just so busy, and you are much closer to the student body..." he trails off, expecting a response.
"Yes, I'll make note of anything suspicious," I agree. LET ME LEAVE.
"Wonderful," he praises.
This is my opportunity. I stand up. "If that's everything, I think I'll let you get back to your important work." Gotta grind that Candy Crush leaderboard.
"Yes, of course. I have much work to do. But don't be a stranger, I will always make time if you need something. Oh, I am the height of generosity!" Ugh. This guy.
"Thank you Headmage, I'll be off now." I shuffle towards the mirror before he remembers something else to burden me with.
"Farewell for now, Li-" I don't quite make out that last part as I step through the mirror. I'm sure it's unimportant. I pop out of the mirror just outside of the alchemy workshop.
I finally let my shoulders sag. Ipad Kid was right to worry about my mana usage. I'm so tired.
Professor Crewel crosses my path as I head towards Ramshackle. He takes one look at my haggard appearance, and I swear he says something rude about Crowley under his breath. "Get some rest, pup. Your coat is looking dull," he remarks.
"Yes sir."
He smiles and pats my head. "Good boy." Jesus. I am not an actual fucking dog.
At least he isn't keeping me hostage with small talk.
My couch protests loudly as I flop onto it. I'll check if anything is broken when I'm not exhausted. Maybe around midnight?
My phone buzzes while I contemplate. I have a bunch of messages, but Ace is more important. He's the one watching Grim right now.
Divorce ASAP 🤡💥: Heyyyyy
Me: Tf happened this time
Divorce ASAP 🤡💥: Riddle came back from the meeting in a weird mood
Aaaand maybe I was doing something I shouldn't have
Nothing you wouldn't do
Me: So you want me to get Riddle to uncollar you is what I'm hearing
Divorce ASAP 🤡💥: 🙏 🙏 🙏
Me: Bring me food and I'll do what I can
Divorce ASAP 🤡💥: Ugh fine
What angle do I take with Riddle? Don't want to make it super obvious. No, I got it.
Me: Hey Riddle, sorry I couldn't talk much after the meeting. I wanted to fill the headmage in on everything as soon as possible.
Lovely Guillotine😘: It's no issue. However, I'm sorry you had to see such a shameful display.
Truly, Leona has no tact. He gets so heated about spelldrive. We all want to take down Malleus, not just him.
Ah, I forget myself. You don't have any interest in such things.
Me: It's no problem. I'm always here to talk if something is bothering you.
We can talk over tea and snacks sometime. I love our chats ❤️
The typing bubbles show up and disappear several times.
Divorce ASAP 🤡💥: Bro what did you do? Riddle is bright red
Ahh! He almost saw me
Me: Look apologetic and say sorry when he sees you
I finally get a response from the housewarden.
Lovely Guillotine😘: Things will be getting busy before the tournament. But I will find time for you.
I also enjoy our chats. :-)
Me: I look forward to it 🥳
It's so funny that Riddle doesn't know how to use emojis properly.
I check my other messages and turn down anybody wanting to hang out. Kalim really wants me to come over. It's kind of pathetic honestly. If I wasn't so tired, I probably would.
I think he's in a club with Cater. I'll visit some time and talk to him, seems nice enough.
Ugh. I need less friends.
I'm just so cool and sexy. I need to be more off putting and unsettling.
My phone vibrates again.
Divorce ASAP 🤡💥: You're seriously a lifesaver. I don't know how you do it
He's making me study tho so I'll grab something to eat for you later
Grim is passed out from eating random shit out the back of the fridge btw
Trey is super happy about that. Gets to make more stuff
Me: Sounds good
Hey thanks for watching Grim
Divorce ASAP 🤡💥: Yeah I got you
What bullshit should I get up to now?
I decide to rummage around in one of the upstairs rooms. Let's see, some old clothes I might be able to do something with. Shoes too big for me. Boring, next.
There might be some fun trinkets in the chest of drawers. I'm going to ignore the porcelain doll sitting on top. She seems... sinister.
Empty, empty, empty, empty. Nothing good. Some dust and a couple spiders. I close the drawer a little too rough. Thankfully the chest is fine, but uh... Miss doll is now broken on the floor...
She's probably fine.
"Excuse me," I say while backing out the door. I'm gonna let her sort herself out. I should respect a woman's right to privacy after all.
Hmm. Maybe I should fuck around with the camera. Yeah, that's a great idea. Maybe I'll throw some salt around too, yeah.
"Hey Prefect, I just heard a crash. Everything okay?" Gus appears out of the wall to ask. I wave off his concern with a tight smile.
"It's good, um. So, hypothetically... if there was a porcelain doll that seemed like it was filled with malice, perhaps even hatred, and it broke..." The ghost winces. Ah. "Am I cooked? Theoretically."
"You might need to do a lot of reparations, theoretically. Good luck~" he says while phasing back through the wall.
Maybe if I ignore her I can live with the consequences.
Waow, I love camera. Now where the fuck did I put it? There it is.
Okay. Sit on the chair. Make sure I won't fall over or anything. Alright, now I can pick up the-
Fuck. My head...
I need to...
I need to throw up...
I slip on the pile of photos at my feet and barely catch myself against the wall. My legs feel numb. My stumbling ends up sending the camera across the room.
I make it to the sink as I finally can't hold it back anymore. I throw up what seems to be all the blood in my body. The porcelain basin is a ghastly sight. My reflection is almost as bad.
As I hover over the crime scene that is my sink, my nose starts gushing blood. I watch it pour over my lips and drip drip drip onto the drain.
I could have drowned in my own blood.
I chuckle weakly at the thought. Until I erupt into hacking coughs. Goddammit. I fumble through my medicine cabinet while trying to balance myself on shaking legs.
There. That sussy vial I swiped from that fucking nurse. One sniff and it somehow makes the expulsion of the rocks obstructing my breathing easier.
Once the contents of my stomach and my lungs are expelled, I let myself sink to the floor. I can feel the blood from my nose start to run down my neck. I grab a handful of toilet paper to hopefully circumvent the annoying task of removing blood from a white shirt later.
"Why?" I ask my bathroom floor.
The answer is silence. It happened, and now I have to deal with it.
I try to get my legs to cooperate for me. Ow. "What the fuck?" I curse at my own appendages.
They still work. Nothing wrong with my hips or my knees. My ankles then.
I raise the edge of my pants to see thorny vines growing out of the dark patterns on my feet and ankles. They reach up to the bottom of my calves and wrap around the back. I can see the normal skin is irritated and scratched in a few places.
Oh.
I release the fabric and let the back of my head hit the wall. I bang my skull against the paneling a few more times for good measure.
I laugh at the absurdity of my situation. "Of course this would happen, things have been going a little too well lately," I commiserate with the underside of my bloody sink.
What now?
The thorns have to go.
Divorce ASAP 🤡💥: Ugh. Riddle finally let me off the hook
I'm starving
Hey
Hey
Hey asshole. Answer my text
Me: Sorry, I was in the shower
Divorce ASAP 🤡💥: Whatever. I'll be there soon with Grim
Is it cool if I stay overnight? Trey said it was fine
Me: Yeah np
I stare at the ceiling of the lounge while waiting for Ace to arrive.
He'll be mad if I tell him. So I won't tell him.
I can hear Ace and Grim arguing from the porch. "No! You ate a full fridge worth of desserts! This isn't for you! Eat dirt or something!" Such an asshole.
"Myaah! But it smells so good!"
The redhead fumbles with the door, but manages to get it open. He kicks it closed and it sounds like he dumps our food on the table.
"Moth! I'm here! Got your food!" He yells.
I pull myself up from my laying down position to chastise, "you're so fucking loud."
He freezes at my appearance.
"What..." he stumbles over his words and the rug to get over to me. "What happened?" He grabs both my cheeks. "Seven, you're freezing. Come on, eat something while it's hot." Ace drags me to the table and hands over my takeout box.
I tuck into my meal instead of answering. He stares at me until I press a piece of broccoli to his mouth. His gaze flicks to the band aids on my hands before he digs into his own food.
Grim happily scrounges through the various leftovers in the fridge, oblivious to the tense atmosphere at the table.
I let myself relax once I'm done eating. The warm meal helped.
"What happened?" Ace asks in a low voice. He reaches for my hand resting on the table between us. He rubs at the cat patterned bandages.
"I was going through stuff in one of the rooms and I broke something on accident." That's true. "I got a bit banged up, but I'll be fine." He looks between my hand and my face. He's going to ask more. "Some of the shards cut my leg, but I was able to patch myself up." I hate lying to him, but he already worries too much.
I can see the gears turning in his head. "You should go to the infirmary. You could get an infection or- or there could still be glass in your wound," he starts spiraling.
I pat his shaking hand. "Hey, it's okay. I stopped the bleeding and sanitized everything," I try to comfort him. "Ace, it's okay. I know how to take care of some cuts. It's going to be okay." I pull him into a hug.
He wraps his arms around me tight. "Why are you comforting me? You're the injured one," Ace points out, muffled against my shoulder.
"Cause I'm cool and sexy." He pulls back to glare and bonk the top of my head. -0 hp.
I give a cheeky smile.
"Can I have some tuna? The good kind? I was nice to this dumb explodey head while you were busy," Grim interrupts.
My savior.
"What do we say?" I press.
He blinks in confusion. "Mrr. I'm the best and you're my favorite hench-human?" he tries. So cute.
"While that is true, we also use our good boy words, and good boys get good tuna," I inform the glutinous monster.
Grim's tail lashes as he thinks. "Oh! Can I please have the good tuna?" He finally asks nicely.
I get up from my seat slowly to not stumble. Ace watches me closely. "One serving of tuna for the handsome young monster."
"Wow, I didn't think you could actually teach him manners," the redhead remarks. "I thought it was a lost cause honestly." He's smirking. That fucking smirk.
"Hm, the Great Grim has blown your mind with his awesomeness," he boasts with tuna stuck in his whiskers.
"Yeah, sure," Ace concedes, not bothering to try riling up Grim anymore. His phone buzzes and he makes a face at whatever the message is. I lean over his shoulder to snoop. "Stop that. It's just coach texting me the info for the basketball club. Or as you call it, sportsball." He flicks my forehead. -0 hp. "So, are you gonna come to my games?" he asks.
"Yeah."
Ace blinks. "Huh?"
"Did you think I wouldn't?" Ouch. I begin the walk back to the couch while saying, "I was even planning on getting your jersey. I don't like playing sports, but I'll go support you and eat way too many hotdogs." Best part of sportsball tbh. "And the same goes for Deuce. He was going to join track, right?" I'll need to invest in a wide brim hat and industrial grade sunscreen.
He gets over his surprise pretty quick and sighs, "it always comes back to food with you." He messes with something on the table before coming to join me. "Hey, uh, I found this series on VHS we could watch together." He holds up the tape in question.
"It's the barber," I point out. The show is kind of like Law and Order. I'm old hat at this.
I can feel him huff where my head is laying on his chest. "We're fifteen minutes in." He pokes my cheek. But I'm right.
The end of the episode rolls around and I am proven correct.
Ace types something on his phone and shoves my head away when I try to snoop again. "You're so nosy today, geez," he complains. The redhead taps my arm. "Hey, get up. I want some snacks. Have any trail mix?"
But I'm so cozy. "Why trail mix? You always complain it's bird food, even though the chocolate in it is toxic to birds and makes them explode," I infodump on him.
He blinks at me. I blink at him.
"Get up."
He comes back with a bowl of trail mix. Grim twitches where he's passed out on the armrest opposite my head.
"Move." He's so fucking bossy today! I get up just to settle back on top of him. Ace puts the bowl where both of us can reach it. At least he's gonna let me eat MY trail mix.
I think he's been practicing being a lazy piece of shit and manages to swap out the tapes with magic. I'm so proud.
Woah. Go hat kid go! Do that funny dance!
I love A Hat in Time. Maybe I can find a similar game in this world. I mean, they have knock off Smash so-
No one is around to help.
I jolt awake. The doll I broke earlier is staring at me from inside the empty bowl. It seems like she did manage to sort herself out. But the vibes... Oh, they are vile.
Ace groans and scrubs a hand over his face. "What time is it?" I don't answer him. "Hey, what's- why is there a doll there?" He reaches for it, but I block his hand. "Huh?"
I stumble into the kitchen to grab a rag.
I'm not dealing with her right now. I wrap the doll in the rag and shove her inside a drawer.
"What the fuck?" Ace asks while rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
Maybe I should make a salt circle around her.
I open the drawer again. There is only the rag.
Fuck.
Ace looks over my shoulder into the drawer. "Uh, you been practicing sleight of hand?" He pokes at the rag. "Cause uh, I'd like it if you revealed your trick."
"Stay here, I'll be back," I inform my bewildered friend. He grabs my arm as I step towards the stairs.
"Listen, I'm being pretty chill about..." Ace gestures to all of me. "Whatever is wrong with you. But that-" He points a finger roughly towards the chest of drawers. "I need to know what the fuck that is about."
That's... fair. I swallow thickly. "Well, I broke a haunted doll and I was gonna do my go to method of appeasing spirits." Ace crosses his arms. I throw my head back and groan. "Fine. I sing to ghosts when they make a stink and it's worked every time so far."
The card soldier sighs and rubs the back of his head. Ok. He doesn't look mad at that explanation. Go me.
"Alright, but I'm gonna go with. I don't trust you not to break another, even more pissy haunted doll." That's fair.
I lead him to where I found the doll earlier. She is sitting on the chest of drawers like I expected. Oh, the vibes are atrocious.
Ace settles on the bed right across from the doll.
Maybe it's fine if I take a peak through the witch stone. Just real quick. Oh, that's uh... a lot of shit vibes.
I turn to Ace and grimace.
He makes a 'get on with it' gesture.
Alright. It's cool.
'Pick me up, hose me down
I'm sorry boys about the dirty night clowns'
Ace snorts behind me. THAT IS NOT HELPFUL.
'Earth does break the things that we make
Like model planes and cuppy cakes'
I get through the song while Ace tries not to burst out laughing. I had to kick his shin a couple of times. But the doll seems less nefarious than before, so that's chill.
I step backwards and sag against my unhelpful friend. "Ugh." He brings his arms around me and rests his head atop mine.
"So... how often do you have to do that?" I shrug. "Huh." I bring up the circular stone to my eye again, and the doll has less shit vibes now. I guess? They aren't good.
"Let's just go to bed. You go ahead and I'll grab Grim." I try get up, but he hugs me tight so I can't escape.
"So that's your 'go to method of appeasing spirits' then? You just sing a song and then everything is less spooky?" It's pretty self explanatory.
"Yeah, it's been pretty effective so far. Beats throwing around salt or calling a priest." Wait a minute. "What do people usually do about ghosts here?"
Ace hums. "Well, mages can just use magic to fend them off," he explains. "And moth freaks sing to them, apparently." I pinch his arm. "Ow! Asshole. There's protection spells you can make, but you need to be able to actually write down the spell. It's way harder than just firing off a wind spell." He summons a light breeze from his fingertip. "I think second years can take a class for it. Third years definitely can."
That sounds like the kind of magic people do in my world. Maybe I- I shouldn't get my hopes up. Knowing me, I wouldn't be able to use magic even if people from my world had the potential for it.
Ace pokes my cheek. "Stop thinking so hard, I need the braincell tomorrow. Go get Grim."
He's on his back scrolling his phone when I arrive with the still sleeping Grim. Once he notices I'm there he asks, "what's up with all those pictures?" He points to the chair overflowing with Polaroids. They aren't inherently suspicious, so I left them out.
"Dunno, they just came out of the camera when I was fiddling with it earlier." I pad over to the bed and set down Grim. "Headmage says it's a spirit camera, so who knows what it actually does." I settle on my side facing Ace. "I didn't look through them yet. I wonder if there's anything cool."
He huffs and pulls me closer. "There's always something going on with you," he pauses, "I'm going to let your lying go for tonight." I hate it when he sees through my bullshit.
I hum against his collarbone. "Thank you."
He huffs and presses a kiss to the top of my head. "Whatever freak, go to sleep."
Ace is especially clingy over the next few days. It's really hard to investigate any 'mysterious accidents' for Crowley.
Come on, I'm just really cold and stumble when I stand up. It's not even that different from normal.
He's so busy making sure I'm not doing anything dangerous, that he doesn't get into any trouble. I would be proud if he wasn't breathing down my neck.
As we get closer to the interdorm spelldrive tournament, gym class gets changed to a two hour block with all students of each grade grouped together. It's in order to give students not in a sports club more time to practice flying on a broom and something something, camaraderie with your peers. Whatever, it's all just sportsball to me.
But I have to help in that two hour block. Me? Help with sportsball? That's crazy.
"If I'm helping Vargas for two hours straight everyday, I need shade and a chair," I negotiate. Crowley taps his chin in thought at my demands.
"Come on, Atropos! Two hours of standing? I could do that laying down!" Coach Vargas says emphatically, not realizing how fucking stupid he sounds.
"I see," I begin, "that's unfortunate." I cup my hands around my mouth. "Oh merry men~!" A horde of ghosts pour into the office from the walls, the ceiling, and the floor.
"Is it time?" "Finally! A good old fashioned strike!" "Oh, I've been waiting for this!" "Who's got that stick of dynamite?" I look over my nails while the dead chatter excitably.
The living members of staff scramble to appease the giddy spirits.
"We will give you whatever accommodations you need if you call off the strike!" Crowley barks over the din of the ghosts.
"Sorry boys, no strike today." The specters boo. "But while you're here, you might as well bargain for accommodations too." The deceased crowd cheers. I am a man of the people.
This two hour block is BORING.
Coach drills each person in a course while everyone else is either waiting their turn or doing laps. I have to wipe down each broom after someone finishes so someone else can use it later. Can't they just do that with magic? Why am I here?
At least I can talk to people briefly as they pass me their broom.
"Oh yer that prefect everybody's hollerin bout," a purple haired Pomefiore student says. His accent is cute. I think I'm taller than him, so he's my current favorite.
"Yeah, I'm Moth. We'll, I'm working, so I'm Prefect Atropos right now."
"Felmier! Laps!" Vargas barks.
"Dagnabbit." Cute!
A really tall and buff beastman comes up to me. He looks really apprehensive and his ears are in airplane position. I think he might be some kind of wolf, but who cares, THOSE BICEPS ARE HUGE. Damn, what are they feeding people at Savanaclaw?
"Don't worry, I don't bite with this many witnesses around." He jolts at my teasing. Oops, I'm not being very professional right now.
He drops off his broom and all but sprints away.
Your honor, in my defense, it was really funny.
Sebek comes up with a really scary expression on his face.
"HUMAN!" ow. "THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS BROOM!" He hands it over.
All right, something to do.
"Thank you for letting me know. I'll take care of the rest." There. I'm soooo professional.
Apparently all the brooms got changed out recently, but there's a few old ones floating around. I click my pen to take note of it. I let go of the broom to grab a tag denoting it as defective.
???
I let go of the broom.
???
I let go of the- OW!
Did the broom fucking bite me?
"YOUR HAND!" Sebek yells at the appropriate time for once.
A stream of blood runs down the broom handle.
"It appears I am bleeding," I deadpan. Sebek blinks at my nonchalance. "Will you alert Coach Vargas for me? I think I need medical intervention." I am not holding the broom, the broom is holding me.
The green haired student sprints off to the coach.
I can feel the wood burrowing into my skin. That's probably really fucking bad. I let out a whimper. Sebek needs to hurry up with the coach.
I take a quick picture and send it to Ortho.
Me: [image attached]
What do????!!
Astroboy💫: I am offline right now, please contact Idia Shroud for assistance
"Zigvolt! Escort Atropos to the infirmary!"
Sebek salutes and drags me to stand by my non injured arm. Holy shit I might throw up.
"HUMAN! I WILL BE ESCORTING YOU!" he shouts and begins to lead me away.
"Can you carry me?" I ask. I'm struggling here.
"IT IS YOUR HAND THAT IS COMPROMISED, NOT YOUR LEGS!"
It's so heavy and I am trying not to pass out. Deep breaths.
Keep walking. Keep breathing.
Holyshitwhatthefuck
Deep breaths.
Keep walking.
Sebek keeps dragging me by the elbow. His stride is much longer than mine, so I stumble trying to keep up.
The broom bumps against the ground. My vision goes white for a few seconds. I have to gulp huge breaths to not throw up.
"HUMAN! IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE THE LONGER WE TAKE!" That's a good point. I feel the wood digging further into my forearm.
Got to lock in. It's just a horrific injury, I got this.
The stairs are a struggle.
Sebek takes no pity. Only offering loud reprimands when the pace slows down too much.
The hallway to the infirmary seems to stretch on forever. Step by step, the duo arrive.
The nurse takes one look and says, "I do not have the qualifications for that. Byeeeee."
Thump. Against the wall.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DO NOT HAVE THE QUALIFICATIONS?! WHAT USE IS A NURSE WHO CANNOT HELP IN AN EMERGENCY?!" the Diasomnia student berates.
"I can do first aid and CPR, sorry lol." They snap in realization. "Oh, here's some juice, your sugar levels are probably wayyyy low. See, I'm great at my job."
The juice is drunk and then immediately spit up into a trashcan.
"Ew."
"THEN WHERE DO I TAKE THEM?!"
"They get some fancy treatment at Ignihyde. Ooh, maybe they're dating the housewarden, that would be sooo funny."
"HUMAN! WE ARE GOING TO IGNIHYDE!" Sebek informs.
The duo heads off to the mirror chamber.
Progress slows down. The walls warp.
"WE ARE ALMOST THERE! DO NOT GIVE IN NOW!" He encourages.
The wood of the broom keeps burrowing deeper into the arm.
The mirror chamber is warped and spotted with dark splotches.
Sebek yells a quick, "EXCUSE ME!" And the two go through the mirror.
Thump. Onto the floor.
"HUMAN! I WILL GET HELP!" the screaming student sprints away.
The dark splotches spread to cover everything. The bright white is overcome by darkness.
"Fuck! Why now of all times?!"
"I WILL ALERT THE HEADMAGE!"
I awake from a dreamless slumber.
Hey! I know that ceiling!
"What the fuck did you do this time?" Ipad Kid interrogates. His hair is bright red and whipping around wildly.
"Wow, pretty!" I try to touch his flame hair, which starts to turn a bright fuschia. "I wanna." I swipe my arm towards him. He sighs and scoots his chair back. "You give me drug? Feels good!" I giggle.
"We had to do emergency surgery to remove as much of the foreign object as possible," Astroboy informs. Some of his outer paneling is missing. "You are correct that you are currently receiving pain medication through an IV."
"Astroboy! Hi!" I try to pat his flaming hair with my bandaged arm. He catches my hand and places it back on the bed. "Aw, wanna pet the fire. So cute! Where's your robo-clothes?"
He makes a whirring noise instead of answering.
"You really are an SSR rank troublemaker," Ipad Kid forces out from clenched teeth. His hair is red again. I try to reach out. He glares. I giggle. "You know what? You're a secret character you unlock by slamming your face into a wall a thousand times. It's your punishment for buying a stupid strategy guide instead of looking at a fucking wiki!"
"I love wikis. Can I braid your hair?" Idia scrubs his hands over his face.
"I can't do this right now." He stands up and I try again to reach for him. "Ortho, tell me when they stop giggling at everything." He heads to the room exit.
"Nooo, I wanna pretty fire." It's so colors and I wanna touch it sooo bad.
"How about I change my hair color for you? What color would you like?" Ortho inquires.
"Wanna shrimp color." I break into a fit of giggles.
"[Calculating] You do not have the required photoreceptors to perceive 'shrimp colors,' Mothman."
I giggle even harder.
Astroboy adjusts the flow of the medicine so I get down from the high enough to speak properly.
Idia eventually comes back into the room, tablet in hand. He starts asking questions. "When did you stop taking your medications?"
"I didn't."
"Then why is the blot levels in your blood so high?!"
"I don't know."
"This is fucking frustrating. You know how hard it is to stump ME of all people? PRETTY FUCKING HARD!" He turns his tablet around to show a blood sample under a microscope. There's some other bullshit in there, but I am not a doctor. He points at some of the bullshit. "What the fuck is that?!" His hair whips around his shoulders.
"Uh, hmm. Probably microplastics. You seem to know a lot about blot, so that's all I can think of that it could be."
I hear Astroboy's fans kick on higher.
"Microplastics?" Ipad Kid asks in a suddenly low voice. His hair calms down and returns to it's normal blue color. "But plastic breaks down into magical energy in the body. Why is- Fuck. What is plastic made of in your world?"
"Crude oil gets made into a polymer and then some other shit and it never goes away ever."
The whirring of the fans increases again.
"How did it get in your blood?"
"Uh, it's just everywhere. I don't really know what to say. There's this huge garbage patch in the ocean though. And it's become it's own ecosystem. There's these funny little guys that are like Voltron, oh that's a cartoon with these robot lions that form a big robot. Anyway, this fish creature thing..." I go off on a rant about the Portuguese Man of War and other things related to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch to a shellshocked Idia.
"Your world sounds like a fucking nightmare."
"Mmhmm."
Ipad Kid taps his tablet against his forehead a few times. "Ortho, have you calculated the best treatment for them yet?"
"Dialysis may be effective. But..." Ortho trails off. "Removing blood and receiving transfusions has a higher chance of working, especially in the short term." They're going to balance my humors. The robot begins addressing me, "you showed signs of recent blood loss, and required a transfusion during your surgery." I tense up. "This is a safe place," he tilts his head in the direction of Idia, "you can share what happened with us. It might even help us come up with a better treatment."
"Um." I fidget with my hospital gown. "Well. Uh, headmage gave me this camera." Astroboy nods. "Said it was a spirit camera. But I kinda... it um... the vibes were bad?" Ipad Kid scoffs but Astroboy gestures for him to knock it off. "So I got overwhelmed... and I passed out for a while. That was right before the, uh... the unbirthday party. I was fine!" I reassure. "So the other day-"
I suck it a breath.
"I was bored and figured, hey, if I just feel out the vibes or whatever, I can actually use the stupid thing. So I sat down all comfy and picked it up and..." I swallow. "Then I woke up later and threw up a bunch of blood."
"Oh."
"Is that related to the lacerations on your feet and ankles?" Ortho asks. I nod stiffly. "Why didn't you seek out help?"
I feel my chest tighten.
"Ace was coming over and he had been watching Grim for a long time, and- and he gets worried. And he was. Worried. But we hung out and and he knew I was hiding something but was cool about it and then there was the scary doll and I dealt with that and we went to bed-"
"Wait! Pause!" Ipad Kid interrupts. "Now there's a scary doll?"
"Idia," Ortho chastises. "Please take a deep breath." I follow his advice. "Can you tell us why there are lacerations on your feet?" He asks gently.
I look between the two of them rapidly.
They are the blot experts.
"There were vines growing out of them. The marks."
"That's not supposed to happen," Idia states. "Shit. And the fucking broom- shit!" He types frantically on his tablet. "You're like a cryptic puzzle game from thirty years ago! Strategy guide! Now!"
I clench and unclench my hands around the blanket. "So now you want a strategy guide." I chuckle weakly at Ipad Kid's exasperated face.
"Can you explain how you dealt with the vines?"
"Uh... hmmm. Uh, I got into the bathtub... and tried to pull on them... b-but they were really stuck- so so I uh..." I trail off. There's suddenly not enough air in the room.
"Take deep breaths, I can approximate the rest of the story. There is no need for you to continue," Astroboy comforts. "If it makes you feel better, do you want to infodump about something? I am always interested in things from your world." I nod a little too fast and get dizzy. "Careful."
I go into a rant about modern Fire Emblem. "...And the story is horrible. Like Robin had a decent personality for being a self insert, and there were still consequences to their actions. But Corrin- holy shit they fumbled the bag..." Ortho listens intently. "...But my baby girl Dimitri, oh he's so pathetic. I mean, he's definitely a war criminal, but that game is about choosing your favorite war criminal. There's even a video essay ranking each character by their war crimes..."
Infodumping always puts me in a good mood.
I finally get released and almost- keyword- almost forgot to take my step through the mirror medicine.
I have a bunch of missed messages and calls from my card boys. Ace's are particularly aggressive. I choose to message Deuce. He's nice to me.
[Call from Ducky Momo 🐤 ]
"Are you okay? We haven't heard from you since you were rushed off the sports field." Ace yells something in the background. "Dude, stop."
"Yeah, I'm good now. Uh, I'm in the mirror chamber right now, so I don't really want to get into it."
I can hear Deuce exhale in relief. "Everybody was really worried. I'm so glad you're okay. So um... Just stay there, I'll come get you."
"Alright, see you in a few minutes." We end the call.
I lean against the wall near the stairwell.
It's been awhile since I posted to Magicam. I'll take a quick selfie. What to caption? Maybe 'I lived, bitch' will do. Awesome.
I turn off the screen and sigh.
Deuce should be here soon.
I feel a weird sensation on the back of my neck. Then afterward, I hear a crashing sound and someone cursing from the stairs. Also a bunch of shuffling noises.
What the fuck? I put my foot on the first step as Deuce arrives.
"What are you doing? Come on," he says and pulls my arm gently.
I look between him and the stairs. I should do something. "I think someone fell."
We head up and see someone clutching their wrist. "Hey are you-" I begin.
He smacks my outstretched hand away. "I'm fine, fuck off."
This fucking guy. He walks away, probably to the infirmary. Good luck getting medical treatment, asshole. I type an entry into my shitlist.
"Hey," Deuce gets my attention, "let's go."
Ace is pacing the Heartslabyul lounge when we arrive. His hair is even more of a disaster than usual. He looks like he's going to start yelling at me, but stops when I flinch and hide behind Deuce.
"I'm sorry," I mumble into his back.
"Can you stop getting injured for longer than a week?" Ace asks. He starts tapping his foot.
"Um, probably... I'm not trying to get hurt. Just happens," I mumble. "But I got treatment and everything. You can't be mad at me this time. ortheotherthing."
Ace makes a noise between a sigh and a groan. "Whatever." He gestures to the kitchen, "Your garbage disposal is raiding the dessert fridge again." Garbage disp- oh, he means Grim.
The three of us move to the kitchen.
Trey takes something out of the oven as we walk in. "And this is a sponge cake. Once it cools, I'll cut it down and put lemon merengue in between each slice," he informs Grim, who is sprawled on the counter drooling. Probably in a food coma. The baker notices us and greets, "welcome back to the land of the living, Moth." I wonder if he saw my Magicam post.
Ace points at him and yells, "nuh uh! We're not making jokes like that!" But I love jokes like that.
"Haha, sorry Ace. We were all worried." He sets down his cake and gets closer to ruffle my hair. "I'm glad you're okay. Have a cookie."
Ooh, Trey is my current favorite. I happily munch on a cookie. Waow. Everything is cool and awesome.
I sit next to Grim and finish off the pastry left in front of him. "Hnnnn cakies," he groans. I wonder how much sugar Trey fed him. It's probably fine.
"You should probably let Riddle know you're okay, he's been fretting. He should be in his office right now. Don't feel the need to rush though." Ah, so Riddle's been a nightmare. Trey puts a plate of more cookies in front of me. I could kiss him. "The teachers are being pretty hush hush about it." He raises an eyebrow. "What happened?"
I munch on the cookies while I figure out what to say. "Um, I don't really know what happened either, just..." I trail off. "I was literally just holding it. It wasn't my fault this time."
Trey makes a pained face at 'this time.'
Ace and Deuce fight for the seat next to me, which the latter wins. He sighs. "You're really good at finding new ways to get injured. I don't even know how you got hurt without even riding the broom."
"Moth is just a freak of nature and a walking disaster. You look away for a second, and they get hurt somehow," Ace declares. That's a pretty fair assessment.
"You forgot cool and sexy," I joke. Ace groans and hits his face directly onto the counter. "I'll go check in with Riddle. Feel free to have the rest of the cookies."
I turn to leave the room. "Hey, there's only two left! Asshole!" the redhead complains. I snicker at his anger.
Some of the Heartslabyul students tease me and pat me on the back while heading to Riddle's office.
Cater pokes his head out of his room to give a side hug and a "glad you're okay bestie. That selfie went kinda hard tbh." At least he cares in his own way.
I arrive at my destination and knock on the door. I hear a muffled, "you may enter," from inside. Riddle's always so formal.
He looks up from his work as I walk in and immediately rushes up to me. He checks me over and brushes the hair from my face. "Riddle, I'm fine. Really," I try to placate. But he just keeps fretting. "You're worse than Ace," the teasing finally gets to him.
The housewarden sighs. "You're really such a troublemaker. Honestly." He pulls me along to sit down in front of his desk. "What happened?" I'm tired of hearing that question. "I've heard from Ace and Deuce something happened with a broom and you were rushed off suddenly. Erm, if you are comfortable sharing, of course."
I don't know how much to tell him. His parents are medical mages. He's probably had at least some education in that field.
Will he be more or less upset if I brush it off like with the others?
"Um, I have some nerve damage in my non dominant hand." He reaches for my left hand to rub my knuckles. "I'll be fully healed in a couple of weeks. There's still some, uh, broom in there, but apparently it's better to leave it for now and remove the rest later. I got hurt on the job, so I should be able to leverage that somehow." Or the ghosts really will go on strike.
"Nerve damage..." he speaks low. "It pains me that you don't take your health more seriously," he begins to lecture. "I don't understand why. I overheard Ace talking about how you were very clearly downplaying an injury and now-"
"If you kiss it, I'll get better in no time!" I interrupt before I get a full thought out. Oops.
Riddle jolts and looks around the room in panic. But he doesn't release my hand. "If you think that will help, then..." he mutters. Huh? His face flushes a bright red as he brings my palm to his lips. "There. Now you will surely make a full recovery."
I can't help but giggle nervously. "Uh haha! Uh huh!"
He tilts his head, but smirks as he realizes he got one over on me. "I care about your wellbeing, and it would please me if you had the same care for yourself." Oh no. My cheeks feel warm. "So do be more careful in the future." He trails his thumb lightly over where he kissed.
It's probably the residual pain medication in my system. Yeah! And I'm so tired. Yeah!
"You seem a bit flushed, would you like some tea?" he keeps up the pressure. Who let him be flirty?! This isn't fair!
"Riddle, I'm dying here."
He smirks. What! "Oh dear. In that case, you must simply spend the night," he suggests. Who is this and what did he do with Riddle?! He gently pats the back of my hand. "I worry about you and Grim living in such a run down building. It would ease some of my fears if you would stay."
I can feel my braincells abandoning ship.
I start babbling about how it's mostly superficial damage and it was just part of the roof that needed replacing. I anxiously list off all the renovations and repairs I haven't been able to get to yet while he smiles knowingly. "...I can't do electrical or plumbing, but I can fix the drywall and reseal all the windows. It stays pretty cozy once you get a fire going! And I've updated all the fire extinguishers and got the right kind for the kitchen!"
He laughs at my distress. Like a bad person!
During dinner, Cater demands that I borrow his and Trey's pajamas. "It's only fair! You borrowed our freshies pajamas last time, it's the juniors' turn!"
Trey butts in, "I'm not sure that's how it works."
"Yeah! We were friends first, so they borrow our pajamas. Back me up Deuce," Ace demands.
"Huh? I mean, whatever Moth wants."
"Whaaaat? Dude, we have first dibs." The fuck does that mean?
"How about Moth sleeps in my room, and borrows Riddle's pajamas?" Cater suggests.
Riddle chokes on his tea. "Mine?!"
"Yeah, and then we can film a GRWM right when we wake up! Oh! We'll have so much fun!"
Ace bristles like a feral cat. "No way! Moth, shoot down that idea!"
I shrug. Ace is going to be upset no matter what. "How about I don't wear anyone's pajamas and sleep in the hedge maze?"
"NO!"
The status quo is upheld. I am borrowing pajamas from Ace and Deuce and sleeping in Riddle's room.
But this time I borrow Deuce's tracksuit jacket and Ace's pajama pants. So it's different.
Riddle sucks in a breath once I reveal the bandages hidden underneath my socks. I had completely forgotten about them. He guides me to sit down on the bed and raises the edge of my borrowed pants.
"Here too," he says, not as a question. A fact. He bumps his forehead against my knee.
I bring my injured arm up to run my fingers through his hair, but he puts his hand around my wrist. He pulls back my sleeve. And I let him. He reveals the bandages that reach my elbow.
Riddle looks so small kneeling like this.
"I didn't do it on purpose."
"I know," he answers. A tear slips from his eye.
"Oh, Riddle..." I don't know what to do with this sad boy.
"I wish you were a member of my dorm, so I could protect you better," he admits. "But I know you value your independence." I twirl his deflated ahoge between my fingers.
"And my privacy."
"And your privacy."
"Come on, moping won't heal my wounds, but cuddling might." I lightly tap his shoulder. That gets a small smile from him.
We settle into bed. Riddle half sprawled on me, boneless. His head above my heart, my nails scratching his scalp.
"The lady who does my nails says acrylics are mind control devices," I say while trying to put his hair heart back into place. "So, are you under my thrall?"
He looks up at me with his big, wet eyes.
"I think I was under your thrall even before you got your nails." Seriously, when did he learn to talk like that? I'm sure he can feel the way my heart picks up at his words. He threads his fingers with mine and rests our hands on the sheets. "But they do feel nice."
"I-" the words catch in my throat. This isn't fair. I'm the one that's supposed to leave him speechless.
He smiles like he's won.
"I'm unionizing your card soldiers," I threaten.
He laughs. Like a bad person.