Chapter Text
I woke up and I feel like shit.
This summer is supposed to be the best one, that’s what they say. You finally finished high school, and your life finally takes shape and you maybe just found yourself. The houses disappeared a while ago, they were replaced with a forest. Your fingers tapped the windshield and your eyes followed the blurry glistening of the leaves that passed by you. You liked to think places like these hold secrets, it was in the leaves, the air, deep down in the ground, just waiting to be uncovered.
Your head buzzes with excitement, you try to listen to the music instead of the chatter of your “friends”. The stench of sweat and perfume mixes in the stuffy air of the summer. There is a hint of something else and you don’t even want to try to decipher it. While the setting might be close to being perfect, these people aren’t, but still they are your friends. The only people that tried and noticed you.
I don’t remember last night, I am getting sick of this.
Your ass hurts and you are so sure your left leg fell asleep. But hey at least you are getting out of the house, doesn’t matter if it’s voluntary or not. The laughter mixes with your music, despite the fact you put it on max. Papa roach please save me from misery.
You were pulled out of your thoughts as someone wrapped their hand around you, your heart sank and you slowly turned to face whoever decided to disturb you. You came face to face with Kelly. You assumed she was speaking to you, even if you didn’t hear her, she looked silly like that. Mouth opening and closing like a fish, her lip stick slightly smeared from the make out she had with someone in the back. Her bleached hair shone in the light. Yet she, you sadly had to admit she was pretty, even if her personality was an equivalent of a dumpster fire.
Which you already learned in elementary. It was her and her gang that noticed you, and made you one of them, even if most of the jokes landed on you, it was with or against them. You tried being against them once, the smell of wet trash clung to you for weeks, since your mother “forgot” to pay for water. Now instead you wear too tight tank tops, shorts that not only dig into your ass but expose it in ways which you don’t like but also glittery make up. Of course the make up was done by Kelly out of all people and the clothes were second hand, which no one seemed to notice. A black sheep.
I hit the bottle when I got off-stage
You probably stared at her for a good few minutes, or it just felt like that. Kelly finally noticed you might not be listening, because her face turned slightly redder and morphed into this ugly scowl. One that made you almost say that if she keeps it up it will stay like that. What you didn’t expect was for her to harshly pull out your headphones. You hissed with pain. Rubbing your ears, hoop earrings clicking against your bracelets. “Hey, you listen when someone is speaking to you.” Kelly hissed, pointing her manicured finger in your chest. Your gaze follows her hand, Right where your heart is, “Especially when it’s me.” She said sternly.
“You have to behave y/n, you know what happens when you don’t.” She snickered, eyes shining with malice. Because that’s what she was. Malice in purest form. It will be a cold day in hell before she changes. You are sure even the devil is scared of Kelly Mason. “Today is the day you will prove you deserve to be our true friend, think of it as some kind of initiation.”
True friend huh. Honestly kissing her ass seems like a better option, even if it makes you feel like a spineless loser. It was either this, or the name calling, trash getting dumped on you when you tried to use the bathroom. Or those photos from when you were 12… . Doing this meant you would be finally left alone, and you are sure you will never meet these people after everyone goes to college, and you go to work and try to escape the hell in your home.
“Oh my gawd, y/n don’t look so hurt” someone in the back giggled, light airy, you recognised the voice to belong to Vanessa “we are like, your friends riggght? That’s why we brought you with usss!” She drawed the word “us” with such sweetness that honestly made you want to gag, but instead you smiled. That’s what you have always done. Smile, like the world didn’t crumble and your life was shit. Like the feeling that something bad was about to happen. Kelly smiled at you and leaned back to ruffle Vanessa’s hair, a weird habit you noticed. Like an owner petting its dog. Maybe because that’s what the girl was to Kelly, a dumb dog. Yet she didn’t seem to mind, she closed her eyes and smiled brightly.
You placed the headphones back in your ears, and tried to pretend you are fine and the summer of 2010 will be and is the best summer of your life. It must be. They say I’m going to hell but I am already here. Preach papa roach, you closed your eyes and tried to nap holding your iPod close to your heart, fucking preach. You think before drifting off to sleep.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Running was not the thing that you enjoyed doing in PE class, you always ended up last. Yet now you are running like your life depended on it and maybe it did. The trees closed in on you.
The smell, so close and familiar, turned stale, metallic, you can smell it, taste it on your tongue. Choke on it. It was nauseating. You looked behind you, the tall man followed, long arms dragging behind him.
If you didn’t know what you wanted to look for you would mistake him for a tree. All you could do now is run, and that’s what you did, and that’s what you will do. Because it’s all you can do.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
You woke up, breathing heavily, you looked around the car and it was empty. Just when you thought you had another nightmare you heard someone bang on the window. It was Chad, Kelly’s boyfriend, or ex, honestly, by the way she does things those labels didn’t matter. Your head buzzed, stuffy, that’s what the little naps did to you, even if you loved sleep. When you woke up from them you felt like you had a hangover and the dreams you might have had vanished almost instantly. The only sign you even had them was this weird feeling. The music still played but you barely registered it. You pulled out one of the earbuds to listen to whatever the man wanted to say. Even if you would rather die than listen to whatever babbling came out of his big mouth.
He looked like you would expect by his name, strong, blonde with blue eyes that stared into your soul. Team captain, helped everyone he came across, not very smart but does intelligence matter if your dad is the school's principal? He would be such a nice guy, if he hadn’t started dating Kelly who seemed to turn everyone into their worst self.
“Hey y/n! We just started setting up and didn’t want to wake you!” He yelled, buzzing with excitement and drugs. You think, his eyes are rosey, and pupils dilated. So the setting up meant getting high, got it. You smiled and he smiled back and before he ran back he yelled that you should hurry up inside. Thanks to that very amazing and informative conversation you woke up fully, and finally registered whatever was playing.
Do or Die by Papa Roach, on loop oddly enough. You must have accidentally clicked something in your sleep. You turned off the music and tried to get out. Your legs felt like ants were crawling up and down and every step felt like someone stuck needles to the soles of your feet. The sun began to set, which engulfed everything in warm orange, you smiled looking up at the cabin and pulled your old digital camera. A small habit you developed when you were camping with your dad, for the memories. Good, bad it didn’t matter. Hell you still have some photos from when he was….alive. Even if you really didn’t want to you dragged yourself to the cabin, everyone is waiting, the thought made you shudder but hey it can’t be that bad
Right?