Archive of Our Own

William sat on the comforter of his bed and opened the way-too-bright laptop screen, squinting at the white and purple website with black font as he rushed to turn the brightness down.

This was pretty much how every night had been going for the past 3 weeks. He’d open his laptop, log in, and get under the covers.

His apartment was dodgy, and shitty, and for a moment, the setting of the room on the screen let him forget about how much his life sucked. His apartment was falling apart, he had no heating, and he was broke.

Gabey Baby is now streaming: You only see what I let you see.

He clicked on the link to open the stream. He was only subscribed to one streamer, one that was tall and skinny and completely gorgeous.

He watched as Gabey Baby traced along the fabric of his boxers, running his fingers along the outline of his bulge.

William got under the covers as Gabe started slipping his hand under his waistband, feeling himself but not letting the people watching have the full view

William took off his pants, wrapping his hand around his base, beginning to stroke up and down.

Through the screen, Gabe pulled his boxers off, his dick leaking and hard. He pulled something out of the drawer, a vibrator of some sort.

“So guys… this is something new. This was a request. And some of you may enjoy this… it’s a surprise.”

He took a bottle of lube from the bedside table, squeezing some out onto the purple vibrator, spreading it down with his thumb and index finger.

He took the long, curved piece of silicone, lifted his hips up off the bed, and started slipping it inside himself, groaning as the girth slowly stretched him out. His moans grew shaky and more frequent as the silicone disappeared inside him. The vibrations coursing through his body had him throwing his head back, holding his dick tight as he stroked up and down.

William closed his eyes tight as he felt himself nearing, his dick pulsating in his hand as he whined, spilling over the sheets and himself as he heard Gabe’s breathy groans through the speaker of his laptop.

He opened his eyes, watching Gabe’s rough, fast strokes, his hips bucking up as he came into his hand - loud, nasty moans projecting across the room as he loosened the grasp on his dick as it softened.

William laid there, breathing heavily, looking at the screen of his laptop go black as the stream ended. He looked up to see the stained popcorn ceiling, crumbling with age.

The single bed in the corner of the rook had came with the apartment, and the frame creaked as he got up, walking out into the kitchen of his apartment. He took note of the patchy painting on the walls, cabinets that were falling apart, and how there wasn’t enough to eat in the kitchen.

He had been living off of instant noodles and mountain dew ever since he moved out 3 weeks prior in preparation for his start at college. He was 22 and a broke college student, struggling to find a new way to make money after he got laid off from his grocery store job.

William didn’t wake up to his alarm, it was 10:35am and his first class started at 10:50, he was about to be late, and was frantically running around the apartment looking for everything he needed while trying to get ready at the same time, toothbrush in his mouth and pants falling down his bony hips as he tried to find a belt.

He tripped out the door, slipping his shoes on as he stumbled down creaky wooden stairs - screws so loose that the aged, weak wood was bound to collapse at any moment.

He made it to the university campus, orange leaves crunching under his feet as he stepped off the bus. The air was crisp, and cool, and blew through his hair with the wind as he eyed the map for the building where his class was.

“Building D, classroom A” he muttered to himself as he scanned the paper with his middle finger, walking around with his brows furrowed with uncertainty, looking for the right building.

He made it to his class and pushed open the door, everyone in the class turning their gaze for a short moment as an awkward, messy, long-haired guy tripped through the door.

He was a skinny thing - tall, with long wavy hair falling over ghostly pale skin to his shoulders.

He took a seat at the back of the lecture hall, opening his binder and trying his hardest to follow along.

He had another class later that day, on the complete other side of campus. He still didn't know his way around, and was walking around hoping it would be easy to find.

Suddenly, he felt someone behind him, the smell of expensive cologne and hair product wafting through the air as he approached William, tapping him on the shoulder.

"Where you going? I can help you." A loud, and vaguely familiar voice said.

William turned his head and…

Oh shit-

This guy was tall, just a few inches taller than William, with ruffled, curly hair, and a slim face. He had big brown eyes, and a sweet, friendly smile. He was in a too-tight black graphic tee, and low-waisted jeans that were falling down his hips, with a belt that was barely doing anything...

It was Gabe.

He could've passed it off as some weird doppelgänger coincidence, if it weren't for what he said.

“Hey, I’m Gabe.”

He looked William up and down, noticing his outfit. It was the fall semester, and William dressed accordingly, with a tight graphic tee, tight bootcut jeans, and a blazer, carrying a crossbody book bag.

Gabe was holding a blue binder, but held out his spare hand for William to shake.

William froze, fighting off the involuntary urge to tell him he already knew who he was.

“Uh- yeah… I’m William.” He shook Gabe’s hand.

This would’ve been fine - it would’ve been totally fine… if William hadn’t seen what Gabe’s hand was doing the night before.

Gabe was explaining the campus layout, but William wasn’t listening, he just looked down at Gabe’s pants, it was tough trying to listen to him when all he could focus on was how he knew what Gabe was packing.

William’s head shot up when Gabe stopped mid-sentence to say “What’re you looking at, dude?”
William forgot how to speak for a second, before stuttering out, “Oh… oh nothing. I like your shoes.”

William did not like his shoes.

Gabe was wearing expensive shoes - and William noticed this.

“Thank you.” Gabe said, nodding his head.

“Hey why don’t I just show you the way? Where you headed?” he asked, putting his hand on William’s shoulder.

“Y’know I think I’ll find it fine on my own… bye.” William walked off with a faster-than-normal pace, almost running, his eyes wide open, mouth open, and brows furrowed - not wanting to talk to that man anymore.

“Well cool meeting you… bye!” Gabe shouted, waving his hand above his head as William walked away - too quickly for Gabe’s liking.

“What a weird guy…” Gabe mumbled under his breath, but unable to ignore how cute he thought William was, heading to find a vending machine.

He sat at a café table, drinking water and eating salted potato chips as Saves The Day blasted through the headphones connected to his iPod. He revised his notes from the previous semester, clearing his binder of any papers he didn’t need anymore.

He wrote out the notes to the bass line in the song he was listening to, but quickly got distracted, doodling all over the sides of the paper as his mind started wandering to the thought of the guy he just met. He knew he liked guys in some way, he figured that out a while ago, and thought about what it would be like to actually date a guy.

Gabe had just had one of the weirdest interactions. When William turned around, the look on his face made it seem like he recognised him.

He didn’t know if William had seen him walking around campus before or what, though he seemed kinda new, judging by the way he was looking around.

It didn’t even cross Gabe’s mind that William could’ve recognised him from his job. He didn’t really ever think about his job, because it wasn’t much of a job to him, he just went home and did what he’d do at the end of the day anyway - but he was getting paid for it.

When he was in front of the camera, it felt natural to him, and a small part of him enjoyed that people were watching him get off.

He knew he was hot, and he knew other people found him hot, and he enjoyed the fact that people paid to see him like that.

Gabe wasn’t exactly rich, but he was very well off for a 25 year old college student. He was able to rent a half-decent apartment, considering he lived in New Jersey, and he could afford nice clothes and to eat well. He definitely lived a more comfortable life compared to William.

Gabe got in his car and drove back to his apartment, dumping his bag on the dining table before collapsing on the couch.

He didn’t have any company, there was a spare bedroom, and he could have a roommate if he wanted - but just chose not to. To pass time, he spent most afternoons watching tv, switching between channels and thinking about what he would fix for dinner.

Though this night was different. He thought about the boy he had met… William, his name was.

The sun had set, and Gabe needed to contribute to his weekly income. He tried to get content out every second or third day, whether it be live streaming, pre-recorded videos, or photos.

Gabe was getting bored of the same thing all the time, he decided to set up his equipment in his bathroom.

He turned the water on hot and started the livestream. People paid good money to watch him shower, and he would get payments upwards of $1000 by a single person just to watch him do a simple thing.

As more subscribers joined, he started undressing, watching as payments of hundreds of dollars flooded in while he started with his shirt, giving the camera a close up view of his abs. He unbuckled his belt, pulling it out of the loops and unbuckling his pants.

He pulled his jeans and boxers down, stepping out of them and into the shower. He took a sharp breath in at the hot water hitting his skin, and turned the temperature down.

He turned to face the camera, ducking under the shower head to wet his hair. He lathered his body in soap, the bubbles gliding down his wet skin.

He ran his fingers through the dark curls on top of his head, his body stretching as he moved his hands up - bubbles running down the entire length of his body, down his abs, down his v line, down the curly hair that matched that on his head, down the length of his dick.

He felt all across his body with his hands as he lathered more soap on himself, taking time to feel over his skin before washing the soap off.

He ended the stream and wrapped a towel around his waist. He made it to his bedroom, changing into blue pyjama pants and putting his glasses on.

He took a box of veggie pizza out of the fridge and reheated it in the microwave before sitting on his couch, listening to a compilation CD as he ate, then brushing his teeth and getting into bed.

9am the next day and William was actually about to be on time to his first class of the day.

He groaned in frustration, throwing his head against the headrest of the seat in front of him on the bus. He couldn’t believe he just had to show up to campus again, with the possibility of running into Gabe. He hated the idea of walking past the guy he had been jacking off to for the past few weeks.

He walked onto campus, finding his way to his writing class when he saw someone sitting in the back corner.

Oh great. Fucking fantastic. He thought to himself as he realised who it was.

Gabe nodded at him, gesturing for William to sit next to him. William took the seat on the opposite side of the room from him. He ignored Gabe as he felt small glances come from his direction every now and then.

It was easy to not pay any attention to him, his mind was focused on the class, it was one that he thought he would actually enjoy.

Over the next few days, he felt Gabe look at him more and more. He had stopped watching Gabe’s streams, to save from the awkwardness of having to see him when he had that writing class.

It had been about two weeks of seeing Gabe around campus and in his class. Sometimes Gabe would give a small wave, and he always smiled at William if they made accidental eye contact. William was starting to think maybe he wasn’t so bad.

After about 2 and a half weeks, William finally waved back. After the class ended, Gabe ran after William - who was in a rush to get out of there.

“Hey William! Yo, William!”

He had no choice but to turn around and acknowledge Gabe’s presence. He couldn’t go the entire semester pretending Gabe wasn’t around.

“What’s up?” he said, deadpan, not really wanting to talk to him.

“Wow you’re moody.” Gabe replied, shocked that William was giving him attitude.

“Hey, listen, I don’t know if we got off on the wrong foot or what… but can you hear me out? I actually think you’re a cool guy… and I’d like if you could just at least get to know me before throwing shade like that.” He added.

William just stood looking at him, an expression on his face that Gabe couldn’t read.

“At least let me buy you dinner tonight.” Gabe pleaded, not really knowing why he was being so persistent about it. He found William cute, and he wanted to take him out. That was it.

“Okay, sure, what the hell. 8pm.” William finally gave in. Gabe was hot, and he thought why not just give him one chance.

“Great! Could I like… have your number?” Gabe asked.

William held his hand out for Gabe’s phone to put his number into. He pressed the buttons on the keypad and handed it back.

“It’s completely on my dime, I’ll pick you up. Don’t worry about anything.” Gabe said, smiling at William.

William was trying to think of the right time to tell Gabe where he knew him from. It couldn’t be during dinner - he couldn’t just blurt out mid-meal “Hey I’ve been watching you get naked on camera every day for the past few weeks.”, but he didn’t know when a more appropriate time would be. He couldn’t do it after, he couldn’t sit through dinner with Gabe not knowing.

Gabe called at 7, waiting as William took forever to pick up. “Hey, make sure you wear something nicer. This won’t be cheap shit, okay?”

William just responded with “Yep. see you at 8.” giving Gabe his address before hanging up and groaning. Gabe was doing way too much for something that wasn’t even a date.

The mouldy stairs creaked and bent unsteadily as William carefully made his way down them to where Gabe was waiting in his car. Gabe talked the entire way to the restaurant, rambling about the university classes he attended.

They made it to the restaurant and Gabe wasn’t lying, it was nice. Nicer than he had lead on, and William wasn’t really dressed for it, Gabe hadn’t told him they were going to a 4 star restaurant.

“Holy shit I’m not dressed for this…” William glared at Gabe, open-mouthed.

“Ha! Yeah that’s funny. You look fine.” Gabe smiled at him.

“I cannot afford this…” William said as they started walking towards the entrance.

“Relax, will you? I said I was paying… don’t worry about a thing.”

“Whatever, man.” William didn’t want to admit that he was attracted to more than Gabe’s body in that moment. He wasn’t sure what Gabe was doing, he was a weird guy he had basically only just met. Maybe as well as being a secret porn star, he had a hobby that involved some ulterior motive.

They were seated near a wall covered with all types of fancy, framed art.

“Order all the food you want. My treat to you.”

Treat? William thought as he perused the menu. He hadn’t done anything to earn it, in fact he hadn’t been anything but rude to Gabe.

Their food arrived after a fairly short amount of time for the type of restaurant it was, and William just stared at Gabe, worried his meal had been poisoned or tampered with in some way.

Gabe assured William his food was fine, even offering to take bites out of it to prove it was okay to eat.

William finally started eating, and the food was fucking amazing. He didn’t know what he had done to earn it, but he was grateful, it was the first proper meal he had had since moving out of his parents house.

When they finished dinner, Gabe told William he could order all the dessert in the world if he wanted, that it was okay for William to admit that he wanted to take advantage of the offer.

“You’re sweet, you deserve a treat that’s at least half as sweet as you.” He said.

William felt really bad, he was out at dinner, all expenses paid by Gabe, who was now calling him sweet.

William looked up from the dessert menu, waiting for Gabe to feel his stare and look back at him.

“What?” Gabe laughed as William looked at him, the look of guilt on his face.

“Gabe… I have to tell you…” his voice lowered with embarrassment.

“Yeah? What?” Gabe said, brows furrowing as he grew kind of concerned by William’s tone and what he might have to say.

“I feel really bad about this Gabe. We’re out at dinner, you’re treating me nicer than anyone ever has, and I just… ah shit this is gonna ruin the mood-“

William was now the one rambling, but Gabe was able to keep up. He was attentive and a good listener, despite William’s nervousness.

“I’m just gonna say it- Gabe, I know what you do for a job.”

Gabe raised his eyebrows, he wasn’t surprised that William knew, it was a matter of time until he found out anyway.

What he wasn’t prepared for, was what William followed it with.

“… And I’ve been watching you… and well… y’know…” he admitted, looking down at the menu, then back up at Gabe. He didn’t exactly want to outwardly admit what he had been doing, in the middle of a low light, candlelit, quiet restaurant.

“Ahhhh, I see.” Gabe said, nodding with a huge grin on his face. “I didn’t know you played for that team…” he continued, that being the only thing he was surprised about.

“Well that doesn’t change anything, you getting dessert or no?” Gabe said, looking back to the menu.

William was confused by it, Gabe handled it way better than he thought he would, and immediately just went back to talking about dessert.

They were halfway through eating creme brûlée - William with a mouthful of custard and fruit - when Gabe said the most stupid thing William had ever heard in a restaurant.

“So you’ve been jerking off to me?” he asked.

William just about choked on his food, swallowing it with a gulp and wiping his mouth with a napkin before responding.

“Don’t say that here!” he growled in a whisper, pissed off that Gabe would say that where people could hear.

“I’m not ashamed. Are you ashamed?” he repeated.

“No… but can I answer later?” William furrowed his brows, looking around the room to try and avoid the awkwardness that seemed to only be radiating off him.

“If you wish… but that means you’re stuck with me longer.” Gabe antagonised.

William hated this. Gabe was sweet, and generous, and witty, and unbelievably sexy, but he had known him as a person less than a couple days, and Gabe wasn’t so much crossing the line - but was definitely moving faster than William could keep up with.

William finished off the creme brûlée, and Gabe looked at him with his spoonful of food mid-air. “Do you want more?” he asked, tilting his head down slightly.

“You mean it?” William asked.

“Yeah, order whatever you want. You can just get it to take away if you don’t wanna eat it all here.”

Gabe liked spoiling William like that. His life was pretty boring, and he knew if William stuck around, it would get less boring. He thought William was interesting, even though he knew very little about him. He saw something in him, he knew William would be interesting once he let him get to know him.

They took their to-go mountain of desserts, and Gabe sent William outside with them while he paid, he wanted William to be able to go not knowing how much he was willing to spend on him.

They met outside and walked to Gabe’s car. He was persistent about William getting comfortable, telling him to adjust the seat and heating to however he wanted.

“I have cable and DVDs at my place… if you want to go there. Or I could just take you home, whichever you prefer.”

William seriously didn’t know what Gabe was doing, but he didn’t seem all that bad - it didn’t seem like he wanted to hurt him or anything, he decided to take Gabe’s offer of watching TV with him.

Gabe’s apartment was nice. William had seen certain parts of it from the webcam, but didn’t realise just how nice it actually was. He was living well, better than William at least.

As they kicked off their shoes at the doorway, William noticed that Gabe had records and CDs just lying all over the place, he didn’t know Gabe was that into music.

“Gabe… how much money do you actually make?” William asked, placing the many boxed-up desserts on the kitchen island.

“I don’t want you to know that, I want you to like me for me instead of for what I do or how much I make.” He replied, getting kind of shy all of a sudden.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry for asking…” William apologised, completely sincere, noticing how shifty and nervous Gabe got.

“It’s okay… customary I guess.” Gabe said quietly, looking at the floor.

William was actually starting to feel bad. Gabe wanted to do something nice and all he was doing was talking about Gabe’s job.

“Hey, listen, I really am sorry… I’m sorry for bringing your job up at all… and I’m sorry for admitting that I’ve been watching you…” William could feel the guilt bubble in his stomach and rise to his chest, it was like he couldn’t apologise enough.

“Hey, no, that part’s okay… don’t apologise for that. If it’s any consolation, I kinda enjoy that you’ve been watching me and admitted it straight away”

“Oh… well what movie do you wanna watch?” William asked, still feeling bad about what he told Gabe.

“Whatever you want, I don’t mind.” Gabe replied, gesturing William over to the couch before following behind him.

They decided just to watch whatever was already playing on the TV.

They didn’t realise it until William was fully in Gabe’s arms, but with every shift to avoid cramps, to try and get comfortable - they inched closer together.

Their accidental cuddling was interrupted by Gabe looking at the clock on the wall.

“Oh shit. It’s 1 in the morning…” Gabe said, shocked and in a half-whisper, following with, “You don’t have classes tomorrow, do you?” looking to William.

“No, no. Do you?” He said groggily and on the verge of falling asleep.

“No.” Gabe said, not wanting to move from where he had one arm around William, and the other on Williams thigh that was resting on Gabe’s leg.

“Well… do you want me to take you home? There’s a guest room here or you can just fall asleep here on the couch.” he asked quietly, but William didn’t answer, he had already fallen asleep.

He didn’t know if he should wake William, or let him sleep. He thought he looked kinda pretty when he slept.

Gabe decided to let him sleep on the couch, hoping it was okay and that he wouldn’t wake up confused.

He carefully untangled their bodies, getting up and quietly dimming the lights, setting out a glass of water on the coffee table, and getting him a blanket and pillow.

He stood at the bathroom sink, brushing his teeth. It never crossed his mind that a guy could be as beautiful as William was.

He didn’t know how to feel about William knowing about his job, he didn’t mind, but he actually liked William and didn’t know if things would change because they knew each other personally now.

His bedroom was comfortable and lived-in, he had hung up white, semi-sheer curtains all through the apartment, they contrasted with the open brick walls and wooden floors. There was bric-a-brac scattered through the apartment, things he had bought on holiday or just accumulated over time.

William woke up early in the morning, confused for just a second about where he was, before finally realising he was in Gabe’s apartment.

He decided to get out of the way and go sleep in the guest bedroom, sleepily trudging his way - half-wrapped in the blanket - to the open door of the guest room.

The bed was unbelievably soft and comfortable, and William easily fell back asleep. The air was crisp and the sheets smelt like Gabe, the pillow smelling like Gabe’s hair products was oddly comforting to him.

When he woke up later in the morning, it was 10am… and he could smell something coming from the kitchen. He walked out without thinking - seeing Gabe at the stove flipping pancakes.

He wasn’t wearing a shirt, had glasses on, and his pyjama bottoms were sitting low enough on his hips for William to see his hair peeking through the top.

When Gabe heard the door creak open, he turned to see William with bed-hair and rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He grinned at William, “I’m making breakfast… if you want some. Or you can just leave, whatever you want.”

William’s long, light brown waves were frizzy and sticking up in every direction, he didn’t realise this until Gabe stuck his hand out and started smoothing over it.

“Good morning, William.” Gabe smiled, walking around the island to the fridge to take out a bottle of orange juice.

“Good morning, Gabe.” William responded, leaning against the kitchen island.

Gabe took two glasses out of the cabinet, pouring the juice into each.

They sat at the dining table, eating breakfast and sharing things about themselves, considering they didn’t do much of that except for at the restaurant.

They found out they both loved Drive-Thru Records, Gabe’s favourite band was Saves The Day and he played bass and cooked, and William liked writing.

“Hey William” Gabe looked up from his almost-empty plate at William.

“Yeah?”

“Would you like to go on an actual date with me?”

It was bold, and he wasn’t even sure if William liked him in that way, but it was worth a shot. He liked William, and he wanted to keep him around for longer.

“Okay sure. Where are we going?” William accepted, to Gabe’s surprise.

“I can take you out to dinner again, or we could do something a little more interactive.”

“I don’t see why we can’t do both.” William proposed, finishing off the eggs on his plate.

“Alright. I’ll take you out to dinner, and then we can go pick pumpkins, how does that sound?”

“That’s perfect. We’ll go tonight?” William got up to take his plate to the kitchen sink.

Things were moving faster than he would’ve liked. Way faster. Though William had warmed up to Gabe in the short amount of time they had known each other. He was a good guy, and William could tell there was more to him than just his job, but it felt like Gabe was hiding something from him.

They hung out around the apartment for a few hours, talking about music and writing and wherever else the conversation lead.

Gabe disappeared into his room for a second, talking to William through the closed door.

“So I have a lecture I need to be at soon, but you can stay here, I’ll leave the key with you in case you want to leave and come back or something. You can just like, eat whatever’s here, I don’t mind. Make yourself at home.”

William could hear Gabe locking something in his bedroom, but wasn’t sure what it was.

Gabe came out in a blue flannel shirt and jeans, and those expensive shoes he was wearing when he met William.

He left and William didn’t know what to do. He stood around, humming songs to himself before just doing the dishes.

He did everything to distract himself, looking at what albums Gabe owned, eating the cold leftover dessert that was in the fridge, he even took a nap before curiosity got the best of him.

He didn’t want to invade Gabe’s privacy, so he didn’t step foot in his room, but the door was wide open, and from a specific angle, he could see what Gabe had been locking.

It was a closet, and it was shut with a padlock.

Bit over the top. He thought to himself as he wondered what could be in there.

His room was a lot bigger than it looked on camera, and a lot messier.

Gabe was so put together but so disorganised at the same time. He had clothes and textbooks lying all over the floor of his room, but his apartment wasn’t actually dirty in any way.

Gabe came back around 4pm, apologising for taking so long.

They sat down on the couch and Gabe flicked through the channels until they found something half-terrible that they could laugh at.

William turned to face him, not sure how he wanted to word what he was about to ask.

“Hey Gabe… what’s the locked closet…” he asked, somewhat reluctantly, scared for how Gabe would respond.

“Oh… that’s kind of a personal thing, but you might find out one day.” he answered, smiling as his lightly nudged William’s shoulder. William appreciated how Gabe didn’t try to completely dodge the question, putting his mind at ease about what could be so important in there that it had to be padlocked, but he was still nervous about it.

The sun had set and they headed out for dinner, choosing a more simple Thai restaurant down the road from Gabe’s apartment.

This meal was more focused on getting to know each other, seeing as it was a proper date this time.

It was mostly easy to answer icebreakers, questions, but conversation shifted to a more serious tone, and they got on the topic of past regrets and things they wished went differently in their lives. Gabe was starting to tense up, and William noticed his nervousness.

“Hey Gabe, are you okay? We don’t have to keep talking about this.”

“Yeah… yeah I’m just not ready to answer… maybe later.” Gabe mumbled out.

William didn’t want it to feel awkward or pressured for Gabe, so he shifted conversation to the topic of music.

They finished their meal, and once again, Gabe sent William outside while he paid.

His spoiling William fulfilled him more than William would ever know.

They made it to the pumpkin patch, which was fully decorated with over the top Halloween decor, string lights and hay bales and everything.

They got to choosing pumpkins, ones to carve, and ones just to cook with.

Gabe told William he’d cook him dinner on Halloween, a week from then.

They made it back to Gabe’s apartment, putting the pumpkins on the dining table before Gabe turned to William.

“William… I need to film stuff… I know you’ve seen it before, and I don’t mind if you’re in the apartment while it’s happening… but it’s just a heads up.”

It was probably the most awkward thing Gabe had said all day…

It was definitely the most awkward thing he had said all night.

“It’s okay… I need to head back to my apartment at some point anyway… but would it be weird to admit I don’t wanna leave you?” William looked at his shoes, it didn’t help the awkwardness.

“You can move into that spare bedroom if you want… kind of like a roommate. I wouldn’t charge you anything… just having your company would be enough.” Gabe offered.

William didn’t know how to answer, he barely knew this guy, and he was asking him to move in after they had been on a date. It seemed weird to William.

“Can I have time to think?”

“Of course. I’ll drop you home now if you want.” Gabe replied, picking his car keys up.

“Thank you, Gabe.” William smiled.

Gabe walked William up the frail, creaky stairs to the door of his apartment. It was shocking how dodgy his place was, but he couldn’t expect any more for $200 a month.

Gabe wasn’t one to judge anyones living situation, but he did think William could live a more comfortable life in his apartment.

“Thank you for everything, Gabe. I really enjoyed my time with you… and I don’t know… maybe we could do it again.” William smiled at Gabe through the door frame.

Gabe leaned in, holding William’s hand in both of his own. “Bye William… you can call me any time, and I’ll take you out.”

William knew Gabe was working that night, but instead of opening Gabe’s livestream, he went through the process of unsubscribing.

He was starting to realise that maybe he wanted something more with Gabe, and being subscribed to his content seemed weird now that he had those feelings about him.

He didn’t know if he liked Gabe romantically, but he wanted to get to know him more.

He tried turning on the light to his kitchen, but when he flicked the switch, the light didn’t turn on.

Fucking power bills… Shit. William cursed out loud to himself, slamming his hands down on the kitchen counter, the plates and pans rattling.

He was starting to think maybe he should accept Gabe’s offer to move in.

It wouldn’t be weird… they were friends… or whatever they were. It doesn’t matter what Gabe does for a job. That’s not weird. He thought to himself.

He weighed the pros and cons, and decided that he just wanted to see Gabe a few more times before deciding for sure if he wanted to make this life-altering decision.

He decided just to brush his teeth and go to bed, he didn’t want to stress over it.

Gabe decided to give more than last time.

He set up his equipment, hit the live button, and sat on his bed.

The camera angle was closer than the last time he touched himself on camera, with a more detailed view of himself.

His skin was sweat slick and glistening in the dim, warm light. His forehead had beads of sweat dripping from it and his hair was slightly damp at the hairline.

He groaned as he palmed over his already hard, clothed dick, creating friction through the fabric before pulling his boxers off.

His bedroom was weirdly hot for October, and he noticed this as he wrapped his hand around himself and began to stroke up and down.

Pace and pleasure built up as time went on, during these moments, he tried not to think about anything but how it felt… this time was different, he had something to think about.

William. He was all he could think about.

He noticed he stayed hard for longer, drawing out the time he was touching himself. His mind wandered to William telling him he had been masturbating to him, he ran through a litany of scenarios until the pleasure became too much. He wasn’t doing anything different, besides thinking about William, and it only just crossed his mind that William could be watching.

He fell onto his elbow, hips bucking up into his hand, throwing his head back as he moaned and whined, his orgasm approaching. The thought of William watching was too much to take, he felt himself throb in his hand before the sticky mess of his cum coated his hand.

Moans and heavy breaths filled the room as he continued to fuck himself, his cum spreading all over his length as he slowed his pace, lying flat on his back for a moment then ending the stream.

He got in the shower, turning the water to cold to try and fight off the built up temperature. He had finally cooled down, and washed himself off. He pulled on a pair of black sweatpants, and put his glasses on before stepping into the kitchen.

Ice cream was his choice of dessert for the night, and he took out a half-empty pint of chocolate chip ice cream, and sat cross legged on his kitchen island.

There wasn’t much of a view from his apartment, but it did overlook part of the city.

His mind wandered back to William, and he started wondering why he got off on the fact William could’ve been watching.

It wasn’t new that he liked performing for people, but for William especially… he didn’t know if it was because of what William confessed about watching him, or if it was something deeper.

Soon enough, he had finished off the pint, and threw the spoon in the sink from the island, a loud clang filling the silence of his apartment as it hit the steel.

He turned off every light in his apartment and lied awake in his bed. Despite living alone, he never felt lonely… until now. He missed William, and wanted his presence back in the apartment.

He hoped William would accept his offer to move in, falling asleep mid-thought.

Gabe woke up the way he usually did, with no one in the apartment. He didn’t have classes that day, and William wasn’t there, he just decided to run errands to take his mind off things. He took his car keys and got in the elevator to go downstairs.

The cold air outside hit his face as he stepped out of the apartment complex. He was wearing a black zip up hoodie, under that, an unbuttoned flannel, dark blue jeans, and a beanie.

He got in his car, turning up the heat, and drove to the mall near his apartment.

Every store was littered with Halloween decorations. String lights and fake spider webs hung from the walls, skeletons and pumpkins in every direction you turned.

Gabe wasn’t one to ever really care about Halloween, but given the fall season, he wanted to use the overproduction of pumpkins and fall scented candles to buy stuff for William.

He walked into the candle store, not fussed about talking to employees about the new all-exclusive limited edition fall scents.

He just wanted to buy the candles he liked and get out of there, but he entered the store, an enthusiastic, wide-smiled employee came up to him.

“Good morning! Is there anything I can help you with today?” he asked.

Gabe just gave an awkward smile, and turned his head to try and locate the type of candle he wanted.

“Um… no thanks, I know what I’m after.” he replied.

“Well my name is Alex, just yell out if you need anything.”

Would this guy just fuck off already. Gabe thought to himself.

He normally wouldn’t be this bitchy, but his mind was focused on what scent William would like.

He decided on two big jar pumpkin spice candles, a cinnamon-vanilla candle, as well as a few coloured, but unscented pillar candles.

He tried to make it out of the mall without people coming up to him trying to sell their bullshit, mass-produced holiday clutter.

He drove to the grocery store, sitting in his car in the parking lot outside, calling William.

“Hey! What’s up?!” William’s voice perked up on the other end.

“What do you want to eat when you come over?” Gabe asked.

“Whatever you decide to make! I’m honestly happy with anything.”

“Okay, well I’ll see you soon.” Gabe shut his phone.

He tried to conceal just how bad he wanted to see William, but he wasn’t sure William was convinced.

The day before Halloween came around and it was pouring down rain.

William did everything in his power - buckets, containers, towels, anything - to stop the rain from flooding his apartment, but it failed.

With every passing hour, he noticed more water pooling on the wooden floorboards.

Later that afternoon, around sunset, he just accepted his fate. He packed everything that hadn’t been ruined into a bag, took an umbrella, and ran outside to the bus stop, almost tripping down the stairs as the rain weakened the wood.

He waited through the downpour on the bus ride to Gabe’s apartment, and it ended up not being very far from his own apartment.

He was sopping wet walking into the building, shivering as he stood in the elevator, going up to Gabe’s floor.

He banged on Gabe’s door, hoping with everything in him that Gabe was home and not making content.

Gabe opened the door almost immediately, in nothing but sweatpants and glasses, his hair ruffled and messy.

He rubbed the back of his head as he opened the door, surprised that William showed up a day early and dripping from head to toe with water.

“Jesus, man, are you okay?” he asked, gesturing William inside the warmth of his apartment.

“Can I move in?” William asked, dripping all over the floor.

“Yeah of course! Do you maybe wanna get changed or take a hot shower or something?” He asked, taking William’s bag of stuff.

“Yeah, all my stuff’s wet though…” William stood in front of Gabe awkwardly.

“You can wear my clothes until we get yours dried.” Gabe offered, nodding his head towards his room. He took out a zip up hoodie and sweatpants for William to change into.

William stood in front of the bathroom mirror, his hair soaked and knotting together from the wind. His face was dripping with water. He was a mess, and kind of embarrassed that Gabe had to see him like that.

He just looked back at his naked reflection for a second, and his mind started wandering back to the way Gabe answered the door. How he was in practically nothing. Gabe’s sweatpants sat so low that either he wasn’t wearing boxers, or they were barely hanging on his hips.

He put Gabe’s clothes on and stepped out of the bathroom.

Gabe was sitting on the couch playing a video game, and William sat next to him, his eyes wandering down to Gabe’s v-line, a small amount of hair visible just out the top of his annoyingly low waistband.

“I’m gonna fix dinner. What do you want?” Gabe paused the game, getting up and heading to the kitchen. William just sat on the couch, watching Gabe as he moved.

“I’m thinking pasta. Is that alright?” Gabe asked in response to William not answering.

“Um… oh, yeah.” William had no clue what Gabe just said. Something about dinner probably.

William looked through all the channels on TV - nothing appealing. He just clicked on some random nature channel and started watching.

It didn’t take long for Gabe to cook dinner, and he brought the plates over to the coffee table. They ate their meal while making small talk - mostly commentary about the nature documentary they were watching.

William took their plates to the sink and took out a glass, filling it with water and rinsing the extra pasta sauce out of his mouth.

Through the entire afternoon and dinner, it felt like Gabe had been teasing him.

The fucking sweatpants and glasses.

He knew Gabe wasn’t doing it on purpose, he opened the door like that and wasn’t expecting William to be the one knocking.

William’s hair had almost fully dried by this point, frizzy and all over the place.

Gabe turned to William, letting out a small laugh at the sight of his hair. He ran his fingers through William’s hair, trying to straighten it out and bring some order back to it.

Gabe’s brows furrowed as William became flustered, shifting around and standing up.

“Um… I’m gonna go to bed, alright?”

“Oh, yeah okay! Do you need extra blankets or pillows or anything?” Gabe held his hand to his chest, worried he had done something wrong.

Gabe didn’t know what to do. He just washed up the dishes, then sat back down to watch TV again.

William laid under the sheets of the dark room, it was still pouring down rain outside and all he could think of was Gabe. Exactly what he didn’t want to happen was happening, he was attracted to Gabe, so fucking attracted to Gabe. The way his body moved, the way he acted, the way he treated him… he just closed his eyes and went to sleep as Gabe continued to watch TV.

William woke up on Halloween to rain still pelting down, and Gabe already in the kitchen. He didn’t want to go out and see him after last nights events and what he was wearing, worried that he’d get flustered and turned on again.

Gabe was standing in the kitchen stirring a pot, and had put a Thursday hoodie on at some point while William was asleep.

“Good morning, William” he smiled as William just looked at him groggily, still waking up.

William rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and brushed his hair out of his face as he walked over to Gabe, who was licking pumpkin pie filling off his fingers.

“Morning.” he droned out, still half asleep.

“You okay?” Gabe asked, turning his attention towards William.

“Yep. Just waking up.”

William thought it was kind of weird that Gabe was doing all this when Thanksgiving was right around the corner, but maybe he just really liked the holiday.

He stood behind Gabe and rested his head on Gabe’s shoulder as he stirred the pot of pie filling, the smell of pumpkin and spices filling the entire apartment.

“There’s hot chocolate in the pantry if you want some.” Gabe said as William breathed in his scent on the hoodie.

It was soft and warm and comforting, and in that moment, he was grateful his apartment flooded.

William took two mugs out of the cupboard, preparing the hot chocolate and topping it with whipped cream.

He handed one mug to Gabe, and took his over to the dining table, rifling through the magazines that were sitting in a pile in the corner of the table as Gabe turned down the temperature of the stove and sitting next to him.

He made fun of the amount of magazines Gabe hadn’t read, and Gabe asked what stuff of his needed replacing, suggesting they spend their day out buying stuff for him. William still felt bad about it, even though he knew Gabe didn’t mind buying stuff for him.

They finished off the last of their hot chocolate, William getting a whipped cream moustache without realising it.

Gabe looked at the cream on his lips, looked him in the eyes, and looked back down at his lips, his gaze lingering before he held William by the chin, pulling him close and tilting his head to the right, kissing the whipped cream off his lips.

Gabe tasted like fall, the flavours of hot chocolate and pumpkin and cinnamon on his lips. His kiss was soft, and didn’t last long, it was almost unsure and impulsive.

He pulled off William’s lips, moving his hand from William’s chin to his neck, brushing along the skin before taking his hand away.

William just looked at him, he didn’t know what to think about it, he didn’t know that that was something Gabe wanted.

William was able to choke out an “Oh…”, confused as he looked at Gabe. He just hoped William took the signal that the kiss meant something, that it was purposeful.

“I’m sorry- that- was that not okay…?” he asked William.

“That was more than okay, I’m- I just wasn’t expecting it… that’s all.”

“I think you’re beautiful, William.” Gabe said softly, getting up to go finish preparing the pie.

William went to get dressed, some of his clothes had been ruined by the rain seeping through his bag, the clothes that weren’t ruined sat neatly folded on the bathroom counter - Gabe must’ve done it for him.

William felt his chest grow heavy and his throat begin to sting. He thought there was no reason to get emotional over dry, folded clothes - he just took a deep breath in, sniffling to try and stop himself from crying.

He put on a pair of bootcut jeans, a long sleeve shirt, and a black button up coat. It was cold, and windy, and rainy outside, and he tried to dress in a way that he wouldn’t get cold.

Gabe opened the door for William, walking out behind him and locking the door as William stood there awkwardly, smoothing over his hair.

They sat in Gabe’s car, and William finally asked, “Gabe… why are you doing this for me?”

Gabe was up front with his answer, he didn’t think there was a point to wasting time with lies and denial about his feelings towards William, he thought it was now obvious by the way he kissed him.

“Because I like you… maybe as more than a friend.”

“Oh.” William said quietly, not knowing what to think. He didn’t know if he liked Gabe romantically, but he knew what he felt back wasn’t just casual.

“I’m not- I don’t know in what way… but I care about you, and I want the best for you.” Gabe struggled to explain to William - mostly because he didn’t know was he was feeling. It was something new, and exciting, and he hoped William would let him keep treating him the way he had been.

They pulled up to the mall, and Gabe asked William what he needed.

“I’m not too sure honestly… you don’t really take note of everyday possessions.”

“We’ll just get you all new stuff, okay?” Gabe offered.

They walked into JCPenney and started picking out bathroom supplies, before heading to Gap to choose new clothes.

They definitely got a few unnoticed stares as they walked through the mall. They weren’t exactly heteronormative looking guys, and they were shopping for household items.

Gabe bought them both coffee, and they sat down in the poorly lit mall food court.

“Why are you doing all this for me?” William asked again.

Gabe wasn’t frustrated or annoyed by William’s persistent questioning, he understood why William would think it was odd.

“Because I care about you.” He smiled, looking up from his cup of coffee through the black-framed glasses to meet William’s eyes.

William just smiled. It was nice being treated like that. He didn’t have much money, or any close friends, and Gabe was there for him.

“After this we can buy stuff for dinner. What do you want?” Gabe asked William, standing up and waiting for William to do the same.

“Whatever you want to cook.” William really wasn’t fussed on what Gabe cooked, he was just happy to spend time with him.

“Oh. Well I don’t eat meat… so it’s like mostly roast vegetables and that.”

William smiled and nodded. “Okay, I’m looking forward to it!”

They finished up their shopping at the mall, handfuls of bags put in the back seat of Gabe’s car before driving to the grocery store.

Gabe picked out everything he needed to cook dinner, and allowed William to throw whatever he wanted into the cart.

They made it back to Gabe’s apartment mid-afternoon, and Gabe started cooking dinner.

William sat on the couch, making commentary about the game show he was watching to pass time, Gabe leaning over the kitchen island every now and then to see exactly what William was talking about.

Gabe put a dish into the oven and washed his hands, walking over to sit next to William on the couch. William changed the channel to something they could actually watch, and it ended up being a movie, with them mostly sitting in silence, enjoying each other’s company until the timer for the oven went off.

The smell of roast vegetables and lasagne wafted through the apartment as Gabe opened the oven, and William joined him in the kitchen.

“This is nice, Gabe, thank you.” William said as he helped Gabe dish everything up.

“Of course. Y’know thank you for being here… I don’t ever really have people over like this… I’m really glad you decided to move in here.” Gabe replied, setting everything down on the dining table.

Unexpectedly, Gabe was a really good cook, and William looked up occasionally to smile at Gabe from across the table, appreciating all that Gabe was doing for him. As they were finishing up their dinner, Gabe interjected.

“Hey seeing as it’s Halloween, I think they’re doing those midnight movies, like horror and all that. We could go.”

William swallowed down the last of his food before replying, “Oh yeah, I haven’t been to one of those in forever. We should definitely go.”

“Alright well I can wash all this up if you wanna put your shoes on, then we can head out.”

Gabe washed up all the dishes, drying them and putting them away, and William laced up his sneakers and sat talking to Gabe about what movies he had seen recently.

They left the apartment and walked down the block to the cinema.

It wasn’t that crowded, it was midnight and the street was mostly populated by couples and small groups of teenagers, with the occasional group pulling Halloween pranks in the street of the city, which everyone ignored.

They decided to see a screening of The Sixth Sense, taking empty seats at the back of the theatre.

The movie ended, and they walked back to Gabe’s apartment. It was colder outside, still pouring down rain, and Gabe held William close to try and keep him warm.

“Would it be weird of me to say you smell nice?” William laughed.

Gabe smiled and breathed out a laugh as he nudged William’s shoulder, shaking his head. “No, that wouldn’t be weird.”

Gabe unlocked the door to his apartment, and they each went into their rooms.

Gabe took his hoodie off, and changed into pyjama pants. William was in dark sweatpants, and had a half-unbuttoned flannel shirt on.

After a while, Gabe walked out to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and William was standing in there.

“What are you doing up? I thought you went to sleep…” Gabe said groggily as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Can’t sleep.” William said quietly.

“Mhm… anything I can do to help?” Gabe spoke softly as he filled the glass with water from the tap.

“Dunno… I’m just… lots of things running through my mind right now.”

“Want to share? I can be a good listener.” Gabe offered as he moved his body closer to William’s. It was unexpected and the dark room had them closer than they realised.

“Gabe… you doing all this for me… just-… thank you.” William said, even quieter.

“Mhm.” Gabe tilted his head slightly, looking at the glint in William’s eye where the light reflected.

“William…” he started, licking his lips slightly and softening his gaze.

“William can I kiss you… again…?” he asked softly, holding onto the hem of William’s shirt.

“Mhm.” William replied, pulling Gabe’s face closer to his.

Their kisses were gentle and slow to begin with, intentional but light. They built to longer, deeper kisses as William pulled Gabe towards his room, his hands wandering over Gabe’s bare torso, his soft skin, the hair on his chest, his hips and his waist.

They laid down on Gabe’s bed, Gabe on his back, and William half on top of him, holding Gabe’s head as he slipped his tongue between his lips.

Gabe was a good kisser, his lips were soft and fit just right between William’s, and he moved his head and body in just the right way as he licked between William’s lips, holding his hips as he focused on kissing every inch of the lower half of William’s face.

Gabe ran his fingers through the back of William’s hair, pulling lightly as he kissed the salty warmth of his neck, William humming at the touch.

There was close to no thought about what the kiss meant, or where it was headed, but they both just embraced each other until they grew too tired to move.

“Gabe…” William whispered sleepily as his body fell gently on top of Gabe’s, unable to finish his sentence as he fell asleep with Gabe gently playing with the long hair that fell in waves from his head over Gabe’s chest.

Gabe pulled the sheets over both of them, and fell asleep shortly after William.

Gabe woke up with William in his arms, his head in the crook of his neck, and his hand on Gabe’s chest.

It took a second for Gabe to remember how they ended up like that, but he suddenly remembered the kissing, and William’s touch, the way his skin felt soft and smooth, how he was warm and tasted perfectly salty and sweet, how he looked when he was asleep on top of him.

William awoke to Gabe gently stroking his hair and removed his face from Gabe’s neck, straining from the cramp caused by the unconventional sleeping position.

He rubbed his eyes, and looked groggily up at Gabe through half-closed eyelids and the hair frizzed across his face.

“Hm… good morning.” he groaned.

“You’re beautiful.” Gabe smiled at a still half-asleep William, kissing the top of his head.

William turned onto his back, and Gabe leant over him. William thought he was going to try and climb over him to get out of bed, but his lips immediately went to William’s.

He kissed lightly, rubbing William’s shoulder, before sitting up.

William looked up at Gabe, shirtless, with messy hair. He was the perfect thing to wake up next to.

Gabe reached for his glasses, rubbing his eyes before putting them on and stepping out into the kitchen, leaving William alone in his room.

William looked at the closet in the corner of Gabe’s room, still shut with a padlock.

He didn’t want to think too much about it, he figured it was important to Gabe that it stayed locked, it had been that way since before William even started living with him.

He groaned as he stretched and got up out of the comfort of Gabe’s bed, straightening the sheets and pillows out, and joining Gabe in the kitchen.

“Eggs okay?” he turned to ask William.

“Yeah.” William winced, stretching his neck.

“Sorry. If I had known you would’ve cramped up like that, I would’ve moved your head.” Gabe apologised, and William didn’t know why.

“Can we talk about last night… like, it doesn’t have to be right this second… but at one point, please?” William asked.

“Oh… yeah. What about last night?” he responded, cracking eggs into a pan on the stove.

“Um… I thought it was nice, and um… you’re just a good kisser… that’s all.” William was about to add an extra comment on the end, but stopped to just finish the sentence.

“Hm, you’re nice to wake up next to… you’re beautiful when you’re sleeping.” Gabe smiled, tilting his head slightly as he admired William’s bed hair and tired eyes.

Gabe was starting to think maybe he wanted to go further with William at one point, it wasn’t anything new to him to want to be with a guy, but he had never done it, and he was ashamedly partly scared to ask William about it. He wanted to tell William something first, to open up a deeper part of him before they explored anything physically, he just didn’t know when the right time was.

There was a side of him he was nervous to tell William about, scared that he might run away, or do what he considered the worst thing possible - think he was weird and judge him. Gabe wanted someone he could trust, who he could confide in. He wanted William to be that person, but didn’t know if William wanted to be that person for him.

That closet stayed locked, and along with it - that side of Gabe.

Before he knew it, the eggs were done. He plated them up and took them to the dining table.

William got two glasses of water and sat down.

“When do you have classes next?” he asked Gabe.

“Not for another two days… I don’t think.” he responded, trying to remember when his classes actually were. He was only enrolled in one class, and audited everything else as something to pass the time he had before he met William. Now that he had met William, he only wanted to spend his time with him.

The following days consisted of them attending their scheduled classes and lectures, coming home to talk and eat and lounge around, then repeat the process.

William found college boring, but useful. He was studying writing and etymology and it all came pretty easy to him. Sitting in the back of lectures while the professor droned on and on… he’d get bored, and his mind would occasionally wander to the thought of Gabe.

One particular day, Gabe had put all his bed sheets in the washing machine, but wanted to take a nap. He decided to lay in William’s bed for a couple hours.

He found that the sheets smelt like him. His scent was sweet like the body wash he had been using, and Gabe turned to pressed his face into the pillow and breathe in William’s scent.

The warm sheets felt nice against his cold, bare torso, and just when he started thinking of William, he fell asleep.

He woke up a couple hours later to William coming home. He put his own sheets back on his bed, and put the dishes away as William unpacked all his stuff.

“You wanna go out for dinner tonight?” Gabe asked, hoping - praying - that he’d say yes after the long day he had.

“Yeah! Where we going?”

“Wherever you want.” Gabe really didn’t mind what they did, as long as William was happy.

“I don’t know… you choose.”

Gabe had so many suggestions of places they could go, but really wanted William to be happy, and for him to choose where they went.

“Um… there’s a Thai place… have I taken you there? I think I did.”

“Thai sounds good right now… let’s go there.” William smiled at Gabe.

Being with Gabe felt like he was dating him. They went on a date once, but never actually officially started dating, neither of them knew why, but things were perfect how they were. Gabe was there to take care of William, and William was always there for Gabe, and despite the kissing, they didn’t need to complicate what they had going.

Later at night, they got dressed and made their way down to the Thai restaurant that was close to Gabe’s apartment. It wasn’t necessarily quiet, but it wasn’t overcrowded. They were seated against a wall near a dimly lit lamp and generic wall-hung restaurant art.

Gabe sat in a black, fur collar jacket, and played with the end of the sleeves, biting on it occasionally as an attempt to calm his anxiousness.

“You okay?” William asked as the waiter set their food down on the table.

“Mhm.” Gabe nodded, briefly looking up from the plates to meet William’s concerned eyes before looking back down.

William reached up to where Gabe’s sleeve was between his teeth, taking gentle hold of his wrist and pulling it down to hold his hand in both of his own.

Gabe gave a small smile, but William could still feel something was off as he felt Gabe’s hand weaken and slightly shake.

William raised his eyebrows and nodded as a non-verbal confirmation that Gabe was okay. He nodded back and picked up the spoon from the table, struggling to hold it up to his mouth.

The warm food and William’s presence helped him to relax, but he could still feel that familiar tightness in his chest that always returned around this time of year.

William noticed Gabe’s shaky, struggled breaths, but didn’t want to voice his concern in the middle of the restaurant.

They returned to Gabe’s apartment, and Gabe disappeared into his room, locking the door behind him and not saying anything to William.

William heard the shower run, but just got ready for bed, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling, picking at the skin around his nails as he thought about if Gabe was okay or not.

Gabe wasn’t really one to ever control his volume, but William was in the apartment and he just needed to get everything out.

He rushed into his room and went straight to the bathroom. He ran the shower on hot and stripped out of his clothes, throwing them onto the floor of his bedroom.

He stood at the bathroom mirror, watching his eyes redden with that stinging feeling in his throat. He cleared his throat to keep from crying but couldn’t.

The tears rushed down his cheeks as he stepped under the warm water, hoping the spray of the water would drown out the sound his crying. He knew he’d have to tell William about it at one point, but in that moment he just couldn’t cope.

He rested his forehead on the cold tiles, feeling the water run down his back as he choked out cries.

He just wanted to sleep and for it to all be over, but he knew the feeling would just resurface in the morning.

He cleaned his body off, sighing as the warm water hit his skin, running down his hair, his shoulders, his stomach, relaxing every muscle from his head to his feet.

He stepped out and dried himself off, feeling better as he got under the sheets of his bed, his body weakening as his head hit the pillow, exhausted from the battle with his anxiety.

A few days before Thanksgiving, and Gabe woke up and got dressed, stepping out into the kitchen to see William putting bread in the toaster.

“Got class today.” he told him, quiet and under his breath, like it was painful to speak.

“Yeah I do too. Hey, are you okay?” William responded.

“Mhm. Why?” Gabe’s brows furrowed at the question.

“No reason. Just checking in.”

“Mhm.” Gabe hummed quietly, nodding.

They both sat eating toast at the dining table, completely ignoring the way Gabe acted the night before. William trusted that he got through it okay, and that he would tell him what happened when he was ready.

Gabe wasn’t ready to tell William yet, but he appreciated that he kept asking if he was okay, it meant more to him than William knew.

“We should get going soon.” Gabe said, finishing off the rest of his toast.

They each collected their things, and walked down to Gabe’s car. It was now colder outside - it was mid-November, and with
the fast-approaching winter, they couldn’t go outside without a coat, and spending every day praying they wouldn’t get stuck in a snowstorm.

They made it to the university and attended their classes, Gabe sitting in the back of the lecture hall doodling in a notebook, his leg shaking uncontrollably until it was over.

It was cold and windy, and they found a café indoors to escape the brutal New Jersey weather.

They ordered coffee, and despite wearing gloves and a coat, Gabe was shivering, struggling to hold the cup of coffee to his lips.

Gabe looked up at William through tired, dark eyes. “I’m gonna step outside for a moment. Just um… wait here.”

Gabe left the building, standing outside in the cold against the bricks of the building, placing his cup of coffee on the ground to pull a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his inside jacket pocket.

He held the cigarette between his dry, chapped lips, and cupped his hand around it to protect the flame of the lighter from the wind.

He inhaled sharply, the warmth of the smoke rolling to the back of his throat, providing a short amount of relief from the cold as he reached down, picking up the cup he had sat on the ground.

He knew he shouldn’t be smoking, it would only impact him negatively in the long run, but in that moment he needed something to soothe his anxiety and distract him from his thoughts.

November was the worst time of year for him, and he was going to tell William soon, he swore to himself.

He finished off his cigarette and stepped back into the building, taking sips of his now cold coffee.

William was sitting at the table still, reading a book he had been studying.

“Everything okay?” he looked up to Gabe, raising his eyebrows slightly.

“Yeah. Just went to smoke, no need to worry.”

William smiled up at him, trying hard to hide his concern. He thought if Gabe wasn’t concerned about it, he had no reason to be concerned about it.

“I think we need groceries… wanna go now?” Gabe asked William.

“Yeah.” William nodded in agreement, stacking his books and folder in a pile to put into his book bag.

Dinner that night, Gabe made pizza instead of just ordering it for once, and they cuddled up under a blanket on the couch.

They talked more, and Gabe was doing everything to make sure the conversation didn’t even come close to the topic of Thanksgiving. It was a hard time of year for him, and even though William didn’t know that, he wasn’t ready to explain everything to him just yet.

They both lied awake in bed, unable to sleep. With Thanksgiving approaching, Gabe’s anxiety was worsening, the discomfort and tension in his body was almost too much to bear. He turned onto his side, holding his knees to his chest and let everything out.

He didn’t even care how loud his crying was, it was a tough time for him, and he needed to express it in some way. He choked on his tears as they fell onto the pillow, turning the fabric a dark blue. His lips quivered and his hands shook uncontrollably.

He felt like giving up, like there was nothing else to do. In that moment, he would give anything to trade lives with someone else, to get back what he lost, even though he knew he was better off in this life, he just wished someone could help him.

William

He heard a knock on the door, and managed to stifle out, “Come in.”

William turned the doorknob and the door creaked open.

“Gabe?” William said quietly, with pure concern. He walked in to find Gabe curled up under the sheets.

He kneeled down beside him on the bed, peeling away the sheet and stroking Gabe’s face with his fingertips.

Through the faint glow of city lights shining in the window, William could see that Gabe’s eyes were red, and wet, and puffy; his cheeks damp - tear stained. He could tell he had been crying.

He crawled into bed behind him, holding him as close as he could.

“It’s okay, It’s okay. I’m here.”

Gabe’s body convulsed as he choked out quiet cries, beginning to calm as soon as he felt William’s presence.

“Okay?” William questioned.

“Mhm.” Gabe didn’t want to talk about it, all he wanted was to distract himself. He couldn’t even face William he was so embarrassed about him seeing him like that.

“I can’t explain, but can you just stay here with me?” he cried out shakily.

“Of course. Always.” William answered. “Don’t ever feel like you have to explain anything. I’ll always be here if you need me.”

William kissed down Gabe’s jaw and neck, soft sucking as he pulled him onto his back, turning to ask, “Is this okay?”

Gabe nodded, humming out “Mhm.”

Gabe’s lips were locked between William’s, and he placed his hands on William’s waist, his neck peppered with soft kisses as he hummed quietly in William’s ear.

William felt Gabe shiver, his lips quivering against his.

“Gabe… are you okay?” he pulled away to whisper.

“No.” Gabe’s voice broke as he rested his head in the crook of William’s neck, holding his arm.

William left a soft kiss on Gabe’s forehead as he held him.

“I need you to be here with me.” Gabe cried to William.

Gabe was in more pain than William knew, and all he could do was comfort him. He held Gabe in his arms, stroking his hair as they fell asleep.

The day before Thanksgiving, and Gabe knew that the next few days would be especially hard for him. He didn’t want to leave his apartment, he didn’t want to leave William.

When he felt William shift behind him, he reached his arm back to feel for him.

“You didn’t leave.” he said quietly, relieved.

“I’d never do that.” William said groggily, still waking up.

“Please don’t go anywhere today. I can’t do this alone.” Gabe said quietly, almost ashamed to admit he was struggling.

“I’ll be here for you.” William responded, resting his hand on Gabe’s shoulder and leaving a soft kiss on his neck.

They eventually got out of bed, Gabe didn’t even bother to get ready, he just went straight out into the kitchen to make breakfast.

He was fighting the pain in his chest, fighting every burden that weighed his body down like a tonne of bricks.

William could tell something was wrong, he knew Gabe wasn’t okay - he had been crying the night before. He didn’t want to ask Gabe about it if he wasn’t ready to tell him, but he let him know he would be there when he was.

“Gabe, if you’re not okay… I’m here for you.” he said as Gabe sat on the couch.

He didn’t answer, but William knew he heard him. All he was planning on doing was sitting on the couch and shoving all his feelings down deep, it’s what he always did.

“Thank you.” he finally responded quietly.

He sat on the couch, tuning out the rest of the world, including William.

William eventually sat down on the couch next to Gabe, he could feel his shakiness, his reluctance to speak, the way his skin felt cold and lifeless.

Gabe wasn’t even actively watching the TV, he just stared at the box playing the nature channel the entire day.

Throughout the day, his bouts of anxiety would worsen, and he’d hold tight onto William’s thigh or hand, not saying anything, just trying to feel that he was there.

William turned to face Gabe. “I’m gonna make us something to eat. I’m still here.”

As William stood in the kitchen, Gabe would occasionally feel tears roll down his cheeks, but was quick to wipe them away.

The sun had set, and Gabe was finally ready to speak. He gagged down the pasta William had made, feeling so sick with anxiety that he could barely function.

Later in the night, he decided to just bite the bullet. He would’ve had to tell him at one point, he just wanted it over with. As they sat on the couch, he pulled William closer to him so he was almost sitting in Gabe’s lap.

“William can I um… I’m gonna tell you something, and can you please promise you won’t judge or hate me for this.”

William could feel how tense Gabe was, and he knew that what he was going to say would be incredibly difficult for him.

“It’s really hard to say this… and I’ve never told anyone about it. Please, just please be patient… it’s all I’m asking”

“Of course Gabe, I’m here for you - no matter what.” William held Gabe’s arm, rubbing it gently as a sign of reassurance.

“Oh God.” Gabe shut his eyes tight for a moment, trying to keep from crying before looking back to William.

“Um so I used to live how you did before you met me. I had no money and I had no one to support me and I…” Gabe felt the stinging in this throat and his eyes began to water.

“Um and I was at my lowest and- oh fuck-“ his speech was cut off by him breaking down, leaning over to cry into William’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here, I’m listening.” William held Gabe in his arms, rubbing his back.

“This all happened a couple years ago, because of the career I chose. No one accepted it, they called me dirty and a freak and I lost all my friends and my parents kicked me out that Thanksgiving.”

Gabe sobbed into William’s shirt, completely soaking the fabric as he choked out cries.

“Oh Gabe…” William had to keep himself from crying. He didn’t realise all of what Gabe had been through, he didn’t realise just how sensitive and vulnerable Gabe actually was.

“Gabe I’m here for you, I’ll never judge you. You’re perfect to me.”

Gabe sniffled and took a sharp breath in, trying to compose himself to be able to continue talking.

“I hit rock bottom… and I decided to pick myself back up, and start this new life. I just… I don’t ever want anything similar to happen to you. I need you to know that I’ll always be here to support you in any way you need. I can’t have anyone else going through what I went through.”

The tears did nothing but come rushing back as he buried his head in the crook of William’s neck.

“Gabe, it’s okay. It’s okay.” William cupped Gabe’s face, kissing his forehead.

“Thank you.” Gabe smiled as William held him. He felt all the tension melt away. He had never felt so safe and accepted by someone, he only hoped he could open himself up further to William, and that he wouldn’t judge him.

Gabe looked back up to William, wiping his eyes with his fingers, and William pulled him close, pressing his lips to Gabe’s, gently slipping his tongue between his lips.

Gabe pulled away slowly, looking at William’s lips then eyes. He ran his fingers through the back of William’s hair, holding the back of his neck.

He was nervous to ask, but he wanted to know.

“William… would you ever want to have sex with me?” he asked quietly, not ashamed to be asking, but more scared about the way William might react - if he would think Gabe was weird for asking at a moment like this.

“Yes.” William was quick and sure to respond, very certain of his answer.

Gabe smiled softly and put his lips back to William’s.

“We don’t have to right now… I just mean I want to express my feelings for you in a more physical form.” Gabe interrupted.

“I’d like that.” William leaned in to kiss his neck.

Later that night, they got into Gabe’s bed. With the winter fast approaching, it was getting colder, but under the sheets it was warm and soft. It was comforting and Gabe felt safe in William’s arms, there was finally someone he could trust.

Gabe rested his head on William’s smooth chest, and William stroked Gabe’s hair slowly until he fell asleep.

Thanksgiving, and Gabe was still struggling, but was doing better than previous years now that he was with William.

He woke up to the sheets neatly tucked in on William’s side. The point of him moving in was for him to have his own clean room he could fall asleep in every night, but they both quickly found that they preferred sleeping with the company of the other in Gabe’s bed.

Gabe didn’t actually know if William was his boyfriend - or what he was, but he knew he had feelings for him, and he was ready to show that to him in a physical way.

He laid in bed, thinking over everything he had told William about.

It took a lot for Gabe to trust someone, especially when it came to sex. He had been through a lot and only hoped he could trust William with the secrets he held. On the surface, he knew William wouldn’t judge him, but deep down he was still insecure with the thought that William would just leave instead of taking time to listen to him.

What Gabe wanted to show and tell William would leave him particularly vulnerable, and the last time he tried to open up about it, it ended in a fight.

He was still mentally wounded by it, the thought that he couldn’t trust someone in that way, that he might not ever be able trust someone with something he had been shunned over. The fragility of the previous night remained, and he wanted to take William out again before he spoke to him about sex.

He sat up on the edge of his bed, rubbing his eyes before putting his glasses on. His eyesight was awful in the mornings and nights, he was told it had something to do with his eyes taking longer than average to adjust to light, causing headaches if he didn’t immediately correct his eyesight.

He could smell something coming from the kitchen, and thought that William must’ve been out there.

He walked out to see William setting the table with pancakes and fruits and a veggie quiche.

“Good morning, Gabe.” William smiled to him, happy to see that he was up and out of bed, considering he had been struggling to do that.

Gabe immediately ran to hug William. This meant more to him than he knew. With everything he had been through the past few Thanksgivings, it brought him to tears to know William cared about him, and really was there for him.

Gabe put on a pot of coffee, and took it to go join William at the dining table. They sat opposite each other, Gabe thanking William for all that he had done.

“I just want to make you happy… you do so much for me, I need to do this for you.” William smiled, reaching for the maple syrup.

Gabe was thinking about the moment he wanted to sit William down and talk to him, but with all the serious talk they had been having, he just wanted to do something nice for William, after all - William was now living with Gabe at a weird time of the year.

“Can I take you out again?” Gabe looked up from his plate to ask.

“Of course. You don’t have to ask, just tell me where we’re going.” William responded, taking a sip of coffee.

“No I mean like a proper date- at some point… like it doesn’t have to be right now.”

They sat and ate breakfast, not talking much until Gabe felt himself tearing up again. “I feel so much better than other years… thank you so much William, for everything. I’m serious. I’ve been struggling recently and you doing this… it just means so much to me”. He leaned in to kiss William, planting his lips softly on his. William kissed back, leaning out of his seat to straddle Gabe’s lap.

“Hm… what’re you doing?” Gabe smiled between kisses as William started gently rocking his hips against Gabe’s, barely noticeably.

“Not okay?” William stopped, looking Gabe directly in his eyes.

Gabe gazed up at him, feeling up and down his waist under his shirt. “Definitely okay, but not right now, okay?”

“Okay.” William smiled, kissing Gabe on the cheek and picking up their plates to take to the sink.

“Do you want Thanksgiving dinner?” William asked from the sink.

“No, no you don’t have to worry about that.” Gabe rushed out an answer, taking the last few sips of coffee at the table. Deep down he knew he wanted to spend Thanksgiving with William and make it a special time, but it was hard. He had spent the past few Thanksgivings crying alone in his bedroom, and now he had what he’d like to call his boyfriend, but he didn’t know if William actually felt the same way towards him.

“Are you sure? Really, it’s no trouble, I wanna make you happy.” William argued, persistent about dinner.

Gabe joined William at the sink, standing behind him to wrap his arms around him, kissing his neck and jaw. He pressed his fingers under William’s chin, turning his head to kiss his lips.

“Mmm… okay.” Gabe finally agreed. “William… do you wanna be my boyfriend?” he asked, biting his lip in anticipation for William’s response.

“I was kinda under the assumption I already was…” William answered with a small laugh, turning his whole body to face Gabe.

Gabe couldn’t stop himself from smiling wide. William had wanted to be his boyfriend since before he even asked, and was doing everything to make sure he was happy, he just fucking hoped it would last once he sat him down to talk to him seriously again.

The two walked out of the apartment to find the only family-owned corner store in a close radius that was open on Thanksgiving. It was cold and dry and somewhat windy outside, and William started to regret not wearing more than a thin flannel and jeans. Gabe - on the other hand - was head to toe in layers and had about 3 different long sleeved items on, taking his outermost jacket off to give to William.

The footsteps of William’s boots and Gabe’s sneakers left prints in what wasn’t quite snow, but was definitely a thick layer of frost on the road.

Upon hearing the doorbell ring as the glass door opened, they stepped inside and greeted the cashier, picking out the necessary items for their second round of holiday dinner roast vegetables. Gabe being vegetarian meant no turkey, but it was made up for with other dishes they were planning on preparing.

Gabe made small talk with the older man at the register as William helped pack the bags, chatting about the cold weather and intentionally not mentioning how it was Thanksgiving. Gabe paid the due amount, as well as a hefty tip, and they walked back to the apartment.

Gabe unpacked the plastic bags and William opened cabinets trying to find the correct dishes to cook everything in. It was a mismatched collection Gabe had found at thrift stores over years.

The majority of the day was spent taking their time with each dish, thinking through the preparation instead of just throwing everything in a dish and calling it a day, and when night came - they set the table with the dishes and candles, deciding to turn the night into a date.

Each dish was warm and perfectly made - courtesy of Gabe being a good cook.

Thanksgiving was perfect for once. Gabe felt more loved than he ever had in his life, and shot William unreadable expressions as he thought about how a boy couldn’t be as perfect for him as William was. How no one could be as perfect for him as William was.

It was still a lingering thought in the back of his mind that he still had another thing to confess to William, he didn’t think he could hold it down much longer - especially considering he was dying to show William his love in a more practical sense.

He couldn’t sit William down and give him the serious I-need-to-tell-you-something lecture at that moment, it was Thanksgiving after all. All he wanted to do was spend the night with William, so he buried it down deep for the time being.

The pair didn’t talk much over how good the food was, and instead favoured the presence of the other as Thanksgiving finally held some meaning to Gabe.

They finished up and cleared the table, putting away leftovers and cleaning the dishes.

Gabe left to his room to unwind for the evening, William doing the same. They came back out and sat on the couch, William tracing over Gabe’s bare abs, feeling over muscle.

Gabe looked damn good in nothing but pyjama bottoms and glasses, and it had been driving William crazy since the moment he saw Gabe like that for the first time, even more so when he figured out that’s what Gabe always looked like in the mornings and nights.

It wasn’t until the moonlight shone in from a particular angle that William noticed Gabe’s puffy, wet eyes. He knew it was an emotional time for Gabe, but he thought everything had been going well.

William pressed his lips to Gabe’s, flattening his hand on Gabe’s chest as he slipped his tongue between his lips. He furrowed his brows as he felt Gabe’s cheeks dampen, but then he realised, and pulled away.

“Gabe…?” he questioned in an almost-whisper.

“Hm.” Gabe just hummed, with no tone to indicate what he meant, locking lips with William again.

“No seriously… are you okay? Do you wanna stop?” William’s hand found the back of Gabe’s neck as he pulled his lips off him to ask.

“No don’t stop. It’s just like… time of year and everything.” he choked out as tears fell faster down his pink cheeks.

“We can take a break, or stop, or just- I wanna know you’re okay-“ William couldn’t finish his sentence before Gabe’s lips pressed to his, harder and more desperate.

“Please, just fuckin’ kiss me.” Gabe pleaded through tears, pulling William off the couch to begin taking steps towards his bedroom.

Gabe sat on the edge of his bed, looking up at light brown curls falling over defined cheekbones, William’s slim figure and the way he looked standing above Gabe.

“C’mere” Gabe beckoned, pulling William down on top of him, until they were lying against each other, flat on the bed with nothing but fabric separating them.

Gabe was kissing William to shut himself up, but it turned into an expression of his raw passion for William, and William could tell he wanted to go further with every small jut of his hips, or when his fingers would trace in hard circles on William’s hips, or when he’d let out accidental, barely audible whimpers as he kissed William’s neck.

William didn’t care that Gabe wasn’t taking it further, hell, he could live forever not sleeping with Gabe. What he wanted was for Gabe to be honest with him about what he felt, and one thing he knew about Gabe, was that it was going to take time.

Gabe’s omission wasn’t a lack of trust, he was purely just scared of being judged, being hurt again, being left again, and as the feeling crept closer to him, building up into tension in the back of his head, he just couldn’t fucking take it anymore.

He flipped William onto his back, head up on the pillows of the bed. Gabe’s tongue rolled against William’s, sucking his face against his own. His kisses grew harder, and William thought for a moment that he might be angry, and that’s where this new level of passion was coming from. His lips hit William’s neck with a hard suck - hard enough that the blood rushed to William’s neck, forming an almost-immediate mark.

Gabe continued sucking, like a vampire that had been starved of blood for centuries, until he was interrupted by his own choked out cries. He collapsed in the crook of a more than confused William’s neck, curling up as he sobbed into soft, warm skin.

“Fuck.” William muttered, looking up for a short moment to blink away what could be the start of tears, pulling Gabe even closer than he already was.

“Are you okay?” he asked with nothing but pure concern. Gabe didn’t answer. he had found home in the crook of William’s neck, burying his face from him.

“Darling… please tell me…” he pleaded, trying to keep himself from crying despite not even knowing why Gabe was crying.

“I’m…” Gabe started, rough and breathily, shaky through tears and hiccups.

William sat himself up, pulling Gabe with him until he was kneeling and holding onto William’s hair as he cried. They sat like that for ages, until Gabe was finally ready to show his face to William.

William could see the disgust on Gabe’s face. He could tell Gabe didn’t want him seeing him like that, and that was confirmed by what he breathed out.

“I don’t want you to see me like this, like a mess. I’m usually more put together than this, it’s just difficult.”

Gabe snuggled into William’s arms, looking up at him as he took his time gently wiping away Gabe’s tears with his fingertips, brushing his thumbs over Gabe’s sodden cheeks.

“When you’re ready to talk about it, I’ll be here.” William told him, running his fingers through the short, dark curls atop Gabe’s head.

He sniffled out a “Thank you.”, holding William close for reassurance as they got under the covers.

“Promise you’ll never leave.” Gabe said quietly, not expecting William to actually hear him.

“I promise.” William said, kissing Gabe’s shoulder, entwining their fingertips as he closed his eyes to fall asleep.

“You look beautiful.” William said as he ran his fingers down the curve of Gabe’s waist, lying on his side behind him, resting his hand on Gabe’s hip as they adjusted to the daylight beaming in through the window.

“So do you.”

William smiled, and breathed out a laugh. “You can’t even see me.”

“But I just know.” Gabe responded, reaching for his glasses and rolling over to meet William’s face, his eyes half closed, and his smile wider than his eyes were open as he pulled himself closer to William.

He tucked the soft curls behind William’s ear, locking lips with him, working his way to plant gentle kisses over William’s cheek, down his jaw to his neck, seeing the now purple and dark red marks where he had sucked at the night before, brushing over them with his fingertips before giving gentle kisses over the tender skin.

He pulled William’s body so it was positioned on top of his, propping himself up on his elbows so he could reach a hand up to William’s face, pulling him down to kiss him.

His other hand found William’s hip, and drew it closer to his, staring up at William with a look in his eye William had never seen before. He dragged his hands slowly towards the waistband of William’s pyjama pants as he maintained the eye contact.

William was quick to figure out what was happening, and felt the blood rushing through him as Gabe pulled his face down to meet his, closing his eyes and placing his lips to William’s.

“This okay?” Gabe pulled off, speaking in an almost-whisper against William’s lips with his eyes still closed.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” William returned at the same volume that Gabe had been speaking at.

“Mhm.” Gabe hummed, kissing down William’s jaw and neck as he began pulling William’s pants down.

He let his hands wander over William’s now fully naked body without breaking contact with his lips, feeling over his hips, his waist, his thighs, his back, his chest. Anywhere but where William wanted him.

Gabe turned his head to the bedside table, opening a spot for William to kiss his neck. He left a series of slow, sloppy kisses along Gabe’s skin, until he turned his head back to place his lips back on William’s.

Gabe continued to feel over William’s body, until he had mapped out every inch of skin he could reach.

William tucked his foot under Gabe’s ankle, holding his arms on each side of Gabe’s head, hands in his hair as he held himself above Gabe. He felt Gabe’s hands move near - but not on - his body, and gasped at the sudden sensation of cold oil and Gabe’s hand around him.

Gabe’s strokes started slow, twisting up and down as he drew William’s focus to kissing him.

He worked slowly and attentively to feel every inch of William, to feel his size, to feel where there were veins and where a small amount of hair gathered at the base.

Gabe had never touched another man before, the experience was entirely new to him - exciting and exploratory.

He gently ran his thumb along William’s slit, gauging how sensitive he was and where he could touch to get new reactions out of him. William moaned at the touch, and Gabe bit his lip at how William reacted to the way he touched him.

His thumb ran even more gently down along William’s frenulum, and he moaned again in Gabe’s ear.

Gabe wrapped his hand back around the base, finding a rhythm that seemed to be doing it for William. He let out soft, stifled moans as Gabe’s hand twisted around him, feeling his orgasm building up, and involuntarily jutting his hips up, thrusting himself into Gabe’s hand.

Gabe just used his spare hand to play with the waves and curls of William’s hair as their tongues slipped over one another’s, the room filling with the wet sounds of their kissing, of the oil on William, and the moans coming from his mouth that were starting to grow less quiet.

“That’s good. You’re so good, William.” Gabe teased as he gathered that William was close - or at least starting to lose control of what his hips were doing. His hips suddenly had a mind of their own, thrusting harder up into Gabe’s hand, slowly getting more purposeful.

He buried his head in the crook of Gabe’s neck, his hair becoming more disheveled as Gabe held it, careful to not accidentally pull it.

William began purposefully fucking into Gabe’s fist, groaning against his neck as he felt the pleasure building up unbearably. He whispered curses into Gabe’s ear as he imagined what it would be like to fuck Gabe somewhere other than his hand. He could barely control himself to begin with - and not at all once he started thinking about Gabe’s naked body, the way he might be able to get him to move, the noises he might be able to get out of him.

“Good. That’s good, get yourself off.” Gabe groaned as he felt himself hardening after a while of trying to not let it happen.

”Fuck.” William whined in Gabe’s ear as he finished into Gabe’s hand, both stilling their touch.

“You look perfect like this, and you did so well.” Gabe kissed William’s jaw, pulling his body up so he could reach over for something to clean William up with.

“I’m gonna go get a damp cloth, I’ll be back.” He kissed William’s cheek before getting up from under him.

While washing his hands, and running the washcloth under warm water in the bathroom sink, Gabe could only think about how William looked, how his hair fell perfectly, how attractive the noises coming out of him were, his attention was quickly drawn to the aching bulge in his pants.

He returned and gently cleaned William off, pressing kisses to his chest and waist as he did so, tossing the cloth to the floor.

As Gabe dragged his lips and tongue along William’s skin, kissing his way up to his face, William noticed the bulge in Gabe’s pants pressing against him. Gabe bit lip his lip slightly, gazing up at William as he laid on his chest.

William rocked his hips up to meet Gabe’s with more pressure, watching as Gabe shut his eyes tight at the friction.

“You ready?” William said in a half-whisper as Gabe left slow, soft kisses on William’s chest.

Gabe nodded, humming out a “Mhm.” as he leaned up to kiss from William’s neck, along his jaw, to his lips. He rolled onto his back and pulled William on top of him, wrapping his arm around William’s neck to pull him close.

Soft hums left Gabe’s lips as they were locked onto William’s, his kisses getting harder and deeper as he propped himself up on his elbow, pulling off of William’s lips to look up at him, his eyes big and brown through his glasses, dark eyelashes fluttering as he held onto the back of William’s hair as he slowly started guiding him down.

William took Gabe’s signal, and began with a soft kiss on his lips before peppering kisses over his neck, soft and gentle and purposefully placed, letting his hands drag lightly down Gabe’s ribs as he kissed over his chest and torso, working down to his belly button where he let his lips and tongue drag down to where his pants were sitting low on his hips, and where he was hard under the fabric.

“This okay?” William looked up to meet where Gabe had a steady gaze down on him.

“Yes, please.” Gabe sighed, smoothing over William’s hair with one hand.

William started to map out Gabe’s outline in his pants, leaving kisses through the fabric until it was wet. He hooked his index fingers in the waistband of Gabe’s pants, and looked up at him for to check that it was still okay.

Gabe nodded and moved the hand he had on William to the sheets, leaning his weight on his arms as he lifted his hips up slightly for William to pull his pants off before coming back to position himself between Gabe’s legs, using his hands to part his thighs.

Gabe gave a small smile and bit his lip slightly as William’s eyes widened at the sight of him. Although he had seen Gabe on screen before, he was so much nicer looking than William had seen through the webcam. Gabe was laid out perfectly for William, the curves of his hips looking just right in the light, dark hair creeping from the lower half of his stomach down to around his base.

“Everything you ever dreamt of and more?” Gabe teased as William moved his lips down to place gentle kisses on the inside of his thighs. His touch was slow and purposeful, taking time to admire the part of Gabe he hadn’t had any physical contact with.

“You wanna spit or swallow?” he looked down to William to ask.

“Swallow.” William looked up at him with a sly smirk, kissing further inwards.

Gabe let out soft, shallow breaths as he twitched under William’s touch, more sensitive than normal after having not been touched by another person in ages.

William made contact with Gabe’s base, breathing in the musky scent of coarse, dark hair that matched that on Gabe’s head, kissing up slowly and resting his tongue flat on his frenulum, licking up to his tip.

Gabe’s eyelids fluttered and he let out a quiet moan as William licked up several slow times before running his tongue along the slit and sucking on the very end of Gabe’s tip.

William held the base steady as he took the entirety of Gabe’s tip between his lips, slowly sucking down and back up. He took him inch by inch, taking more of him with every couple slow bobs of his head.

Gabe’s fists hit the sheets, grabbing at them hard as William hummed around him, his moans getting louder every time William would take more of him.

His moans sounded unsure, almost stifled as if he was trying to choke them down, resulting in hummed out whines as William’s head bobbed up and down slowly.

William pulled off, a string of saliva connecting them as he caught his breath, looking up at Gabe who had his eyes shut tight.

“It’s okay darling, you can be loud, I wanna hear you.” he softly and attentively spoke to Gabe before wrapping his lips back around him and taking him further down his throat.

Gabe moaned louder as William’s lips slid down on him, fisting at the sheets and digging his heels into the bed as he felt himself hit the back of William’s throat, trying not to buck his hips up.

William continued to deepthroat him, listening to the noises Gabe made and humming around him to see what kind of noises he really could get out of him.

Gabe’s moans grew louder and into whines as William accidentally pressed his fingernails into his thighs, tears forming in his eyes from the pleasure as his hips rose with every breath in.

William loosened the pressure when he noticed tears falling down Gabe’s cheeks, and Gabe couldn’t help but whine at the loss of contact. He continued sucking on Gabe until his moans filled the room, his hips beginning to buck up harder, thrusting himself further into William’s throat.

“Fuck.” he whined as William found a steady pace to take Gabe at, bringing him close to finishing.

Tears fell more frequently down Gabe’s cheeks, and he shut his eyes tight to try and stop them. William pulled off quickly, salvia dripping from his lips as he breathily spoke to Gabe.

“Open your eyes darling, I wanna watch you cry, you’re fucking beautiful like this.”

He took Gabe back down his throat, finding that steady rhythm again as he locked eyes with Gabe, who was in tears, whining and moaning as he sniffled, crying from the pleasure.

William entwined his fingers with Gabe’s, holding onto his hand as he continued to take him, bringing him to his orgasm

“Fu-… Fuck.” Gabe breathed out between sobs and moans, gripping onto the sheets and thrusting his hips up as his warm cum spilt down William’s throat.

Shaky moans escaped his mouth as William swallowed it down, pulling his wet, swollen lips off of him, wiping his mouth and chin, licking his fingers off and coming up to kiss Gabe.

Gabe hummed as he tasted himself on William’s lips, warm and salty, gross, but not minding it because it came from William sucking him off.

“God, you’re amazing.” he breathed out against William’s swollen lips, playing with his hair as William rested the side of his face on Gabe’s chest, gazing up at him, smiling and humming a teasing laugh, placing a kiss on Gabe’s chest.

“Thank you… thank you for letting me cry.” he continued as his hand wandered over William’s shoulder and back.

“Of course… it’s kind of attractive. And y’know… it’s a natural response.” William said against Gabe’s chest.

Gabe smiled as his hand wandered over William’s warm, smooth skin. “Hey… let’s get cleaned up.”’

The two made their way into the shower, kissing and letting their hands wander over each other’s soapy bodies.

“Good start to the day.” William smiled as he kissed down Gabe’s water drop-clad chest.

William continued with quiet praises spoken against Gabe’s skin as Gabe thought over everything that happened with William. He was finally ready. Ready to take things further with him, ready to open up to him. He hadn’t had sex in so long, and his first time in ages couldn’t have been more perfect, the amount of pleasure that coursed through his body as William’s lips slid down on him was amazing.

They stepped out and wrapped towels around themselves, taking a short moment to get dressed, then preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

Their day was slow and spent taking time to appreciate each other and what happened that morning. Gabe could finally trust William, which was something that he had struggled with in the past, especially surrounding sex. William telling him he was okay with his crying, unprompted, made it easy for him to be ready to open up to him, he knew William would listen to him and not just rush out of the room.

“Can I tell you something?” Gabe turned to ask William as they cuddled on the couch that night.

“Yeah of course.” William turned to Gabe with a slight look of concern on his face.

“Um… so the last… person I slept with,” he started, voice beginning to break, but just choking it down to continue speaking.

“So she kinda didn’t really… respect a certain part of me, and she berated me pretty badly, called me a freak and stuff when I tried explaining it to her…”

William was still confused, but ran his hand through the curls on Gabe’s head. “Are you okay? Do you wanna tell me what it was?” he looked at him.

“Please just tell me you’ll listen to me.” Gabe pleaded, with fear and concern in his voice.

“Of course. I’ll never judge you.” William responded, kissing his jaw near his ear.

“Okay… it’s more something I have to show you.” Gabe said, getting up off the couch and holding his hand out for William to take.

He lead William into his bedroom, and sat him down on the bed. “Please… just please promise you won’t judge me…”

“Of course not, Gabe. I wouldn’t do that.”

Gabe reached under the door of the closet, taking out the key to unlock it. He opened the doors, and inside was a chest of drawers. He pulled one open, and took out a few different black boxes. The boxes were nice, not just regular cheap gift boxes, and he sat them on the bed beside William.

Gabe ran a hand through the longer curls on the top of his head. “So… Uh…” he trailed off, not saying anything more.

He opened the first box, and inside was a velvet bag. He pulled open the drawstrings and inside was a purple piece of silicone.

William smiled. He had seen it before and he knew exactly what it was.

Gabe caught onto his reaction, the smile on his face and the lack of judgement.

“You already know what this is?” he asked, smiling with a soft gaze at William.

“Yes. I like it. I like that you’re into that.”

Gabe sighed, feeling a sense of relief that William was understanding and listening so far. He opened the second box, and inside were two velvet bags, he took out one, and opened it, pulling out leather.

“Um… these are like, they’re leather cuffs, like restraints.”

William took them, and felt over the smooth leather and cold metal. “This is cool. So who…” he trailed off, hoping Gabe would be able to understand what he was getting at.

“Me. I like being um… tied up, like restricted movement and that…”

William continued feeling over the different textures, seeing the intricate details and stitching on them.

“Please don’t judge me. Please.” Gabe began to worry again, but it all melted away when William pulled him close and kissed him.

“No… I think it’s sexy… and thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this, I know it couldn’t have been easy.”

Gabe let out a small laugh as he reciprocated the kiss. “No… no it wasn’t easy. Thank you for listening, it means a lot to me.”

“I know not everyone’s into it… but respecting it is the least you can do.” he continued.

“There’s a set for my wrists and a set for my ankles… and there’s uh, there’s other metal parts that screw into my bed for them.” Gabe explained to him, taking the cuffs back to put them back into the velvet bag.

“Um… also this one is… it takes some practicing to get right, but it’s fun and so pleasurable when you get it right.” he said, opening the last box.

The box had more bags than the last two, and he took one out, opening it to pull out rope.

“There’s a few different lengths, this one’s for basic wrist ties, but there’s other ones for different ties and different body parts.”

William took the rope, and to his surprise, it wasn’t rough at all, it was soft against his fingers.

“Not rough feeling at all.” he commented.

“No, no it’s not supposed to be. They’re not so much meant to hurt, they’re more to restrict my movement without completely restraining me.” Gabe explained.

“Can you explain how you found out you liked this?” William asked attentively.

“So… this is all the reason behind my career choice. I found out I liked it purely out of curiosity, like I always wanted to try it and it felt safe and like a whole other level of connection when I’d get tied up. I had had a few bad experiences around it, people not accepting or liking or even respecting it, so y’know, I started a career where people could feel safe sharing and exploring these different things without a fear of judgement.”

“Oh… that’s beautiful. I honestly had no clue there was this side to you.” William responded, kissing Gabe again.

“Is there any chance you’d wanna explore it? I understand it’s not for everyone, so it’s okay if it’s completely off the table for you.”

“I wanna try it, if you’d trust me enough.”

“Really? I do trust you. What do you wanna try?” Gabe was surprised that William was so open to it, and it only made him feel something different about him.

“Can you show me how to use the ropes?” William asked enthusiastically, ready to see Gabe in a state where he could experience the most amount of pleasure.

“Mhm, yeah. Can I show you tomorrow? I just wanna sleep right now.” Gabe said, putting the lids on all the boxes and returning them to their spot in the cupboard, leaving the door unlocked now that he could trust William.

They crawled into bed together, and William pulled Gabe close, leaning in to his ear. “Thank you for trusting me.” he whispered, leaving a soft kiss on Gabe’s shoulder.

The next night, Gabe took William into the bedroom and sat him down on the bed again, putting on his glasses to be able to see clearly, and taking out the box with the rope from the closet.

“William, I need you to know that if you become uncomfortable with this at any point, tell me and we’ll immediately stop… it can be a bit much for some people and I understand that. If you don’t want to - or can’t - verbalise it for whatever reason, you can tap my leg twice, and i’ll do the same if I need you to stop. If the rope needs to be cut, there’s scissors here specifically for it, just use those”

William nodded, and Gabe handed him one piece of black rope.

“I like cotton rope, because it’s a bit softer than other materials, it doesn’t feel rough or scratchy or anything and I can still be bound well with it.”

William nodded along, not quite sure how to explain his thoughts on this new experience. He took the rope in his hands and felt over the material, feeling where it twisted around itself.

It was beautiful that Gabe was willing to share this with him, how comfortable he was telling him, and how vulnerable this would have him. It was an art to Gabe, and he got to completely rely on the trust of William with it.

“I’ll show you basic ties first, it can take awhile to get used to wrapping and knotting it into more intricate patterns, especially if you’ve never experimented with it before.” Gabe ran his fingers through William’s hair.

“Are you okay with me tying it on you? We won’t do anything, and i’ll immediately take it off, I just want to show you how to tie it.”

“Yes.” William confirmed, only inches away from Gabe’s face.

“Okay. Hold your wrists out please.”

William did as Gabe said, and it felt good to be guided by him, feeling Gabe’s hands brush over his as he wrapped and knotted the rope around his wrists, carefully explaining every step, looping the rope around.

“Did you understand that? Do you need me to explain it again?” Gabe ran his hand up William’s arm, leaning in to kiss him.

“Mhm. Can you explain it again?” William hummed quietly against Gabe’s lips. William did understand it, but he just wanted Gabe to touch him more, and more importantly, he wanted to make sure he got it right.

Gabe untied William and explained it again, slowly and carefully, asking him if he understood between each step, explaining how it’s the same on the ankles as well. He freed William again, and traded positions with him, leaning back on his hands as William straddled him, pressing his lips to Gabe’s and leaving purposefully placed kisses down his jaw and neck.

Gabe hummed in pleasure as William sucked harder at his neck, slowly lowering his hips to meet Gabe’s but not moving further.

He moved off of Gabe’s lap slightly to take his wrists. With Gabe talking him through it, they took a couple tries to get it the right amount of tightness for Gabe, who reassured William that it was okay that they had to undo it and retry multiple times.

They found a way to tie the ropes so that Gabe still had some amount of movement, even while being bound.

William felt over the rope around Gabe’s wrists, it all becoming real that Gabe would be bound and his movement would be restricted during whatever they chose to do.

“William…” Gabe started, looking up at William, whose hands were cupping his face as he left soft kisses along his jaw.

“Mhm?” he hummed, pulling away to meet Gabe’s eyes.