Chapter Text
Aiura Mikoto has added 11+ people to the Group DM. Click and hold for more.
Aiura Mikoto has changed the title of this Group DM to SEVEN DEADLY DIHS.
Kuboyasu Aren: there's 12 of us
Kuboyasu Aren: are you stupid 💔
Toritsuka Reita: fight to the death and the remaining 7 get to be apart of the gc ig
Aiura Mikoto: i regret adding you already
Kuboyasu Aren: no that was kind of funny??
Aiura Mikoto: but it's him who said it so it sounds more cringe than anythint
Kuboyasu Aren: ok but the name “seven deadly dihs” isn't cringe??
Kaido Shun: No. I fear it is humorous. This jest has procured an outrageous bout of laughter from myself.
Aiura Mikoto: oh
Hairo Kineshi: Hey guys!
Hairo Kineshi: Kaido, those are some big words! :-) I feel the same!
Aiura Mikoto: that emoticon is an eyesore
Kuboyasu Aren: what was the point of this group chat though?
Toritsuka Reita: right thats as if your hair isnt an eyesore already aiura
Kuboyasu Aren: i physically flinched like gordiacea from anthropods in water. holy grammar ✌️✌️
Aiura Mikoto: EXCUSE
Kuboyasu Aren: ho where tf did you go
Kaido Shun: Opps got her
Akechi Touma: actually, gordiacea being parasitic, i do not think that would be a metaphor of enough calibre. gordiacea tend to be comfortable in their hosts until they mature, and honestly, i recoil from the mouth breather every time he steps foot within a one-mile-radius of me! a more accurate depiction of such a sentiment would be..
Akechi Touma: i physically flinched akin to an abused child.
Kaido Shun: I'm
Aiura Mikoto: you can't say that..
Akechi Touma: i very much can.
Kuboyasu Aren: ok hater
Kuboyasu Aren: but also like are you okay
Kaido Shun: Aren can you like hyperfixate on normal things like a normal person? Horsehair worms?
Toritsuka Reita: didnt you walk into a running car thinkinrg you could stop it
Aiura Mikoto: noo toumapipi don't like die ily!!!!!
Aiura Mikoto: hmmmmm kaidou can the car hit me next
Akechi Touma: well the delusional blue brick (the other one, i know there's two in this group chat) should have been in hospital if that were the case. it begs the question, what exactly it was that occurred, during that time, that THIS weak ass twink actually survived the force of a car hitting him, and even sent it propelling backwards? i fear i have a hunch. it involves another twink.
Kaido Shun: That's kinda mean!! I did stop it tho bc I walked away unscathed
Kaido shun: The car kinda bounced back away from me like you said. Saiki and Nendo will tell you!
Akechi Touma: @Saiki Kusuo
Hairo Kineshi: Why didn't you ping Riki? :-(
Toritsuka Reita: why did you js spawn??? were you already online??
Toritsuka Reita: also who would willingly ping nendo?
Hairo Kineshi: How DARE you!!!! >:-(
Hairo Kineshi: UNACCEPTABLE!!! BEHAVIOUR towards NENDO RIKI
Kuboyasu Aren: ok dude he didn't mean to offend your man
Aiura Mikoto: no actually he did lolol!!! kick yo foot into coochie flaps like now
Aiura Mikoto: watch him take your foot up his ahh like a good boy
Saiki Kusuo has left SEVEN DEADLY DIHS. Press and hold for more.
Akechi Touma: reasonable crashout, kusuo. mikoto, while i love you very dearly as you are a lovely friend (only when you so desire to be, of course) of mine, and probably one of the only few friends i have that don't actively request for a public execution to befall me, i cannot defend even that bold of a statement.
Kuboyasu Aren: wWHAT
Hairo Kineshi: I do not wish to talk about this any longer! 😅
Toritsuka Reita: genuinely just why
Toritsuka Reita: this is NOT funny anymore btw
Aiura Mikoto: sorry i'm just mourning my scarf that chiyo burnt okay
Aiura Mikoto: it was leopard printed and it was so cute and i am processing my grief by being chronically online
Yumehara Chiyo: Oh wait that was a scarf? I thought it was a thong :(
Yumehara Chiyo: Usually I'll support another girl and all but it was really ugly… you wouldn't pull anyone with THAT suspended through your cheeks.. and I usually like leopard print too!
Yumehara Chiyo: But I didn't even mean to burn it!! It kinda fell onto the stove when I was cooking cs Mikoto lent it to me and uh..
Kuboyasu Aren: a scarf. fell onto a stove..?
Toritsuka Reita: tbh you wouldn't be surprised at the amount of times that ive dropped shit onto the stove
Kaido Shun: My mother was right. I need new friends.
SEVEN DEADLY DIHS. 8 Online. Press and hold for more options.
Teruhashi Kokomi: Hello everyone! I'm so sorry I didn't see everyone's messages earlier, I was a bit busy. :)
Teruhashi Kokomi: Chiyo, was that the “scarf” you had mentioned to me earlier?
Yumehara Chiyo: Hi Kokomi! Yes, it was ;;;
Aiura Mikoto: still mourning it btw.
Yumehara Chiyo: NOOO I'll buy you another :(
Aiura Mikoto has added Saiki Kusuo to SEVEN DEADLY DIHS. Press and hold for more.
Aiura Mikoto: ilyyyy kusuo /p (ig.)
Hairo Kineshi: Can you buy me one? I fear I'd look-smaxx everyone in this group chat! ☺️
Saiki Kusuo has left SEVEN DEADLY DIHS. Press and hold for more.
Kaido Shun: Dude what
Kuboyasu Aren: hairo..
Aiura Mikoto: wow ok twin
Teruhashi Kokomi: I'm sure Hairo would look amazing in a leopard print thong!
Aiura Mikoto: WHAT
Nendo Riki: mY kittenbwould EAT that up 🤣🤣🤣✌
Hairo Kineshi: Thank you, Riki! You would too ❤️❤️
Nendo Riki: but liek slash pee.
Hairo Kineshi: Got it! :-)..
Kuboyasu Aren: I'm
Yumehara Chiyo: I'm not buying any of you guys anything. Go rot.
Teruhashi Kokomi: Sorry guys! I meant scarf TwT I was just thinking about thongs after that conversation and..
Teruhashi Kokomi: It slipped!! Wow!!
Kaido Shun: I laughed too loud and my mother said she'd take my phone away :(
Nendo Riki: keep kaughign snd maybe she;-:ll keep it
Akechi Touma: the idiocy seems to radiate off of the people in this group chat. is everyone here lacking in brain cells? even syphilitic japanese gangbangers would have a higher intelligence quotient compared to you buffoons. (excluding kusuo, of course.) words cannot describe how tears sprang out of my eyes just at gazing at the contents of these messages, and i do not think i will ever be able to recover from your stupidity. are we devolving? (not you kusuo) are you all insane? i genuinely cannot do this anymore. when i kill myself, it will be MY suicide note stuck to the fridge with a cookie monster magnet. sorry kusuo.
Aiura Mikoto: wow that was the shortest message he's ever typed
Yumehara Chiyo: Holy glaze
Kuboyasu Aren: fr
Akechi Touma has left SEVEN DEADLY DIHS. Press and hold for more.
Kaido Shun: Reasonable crashout
Teruhashi Kokomi: That's kind of mean :(
Kaido Shun: Have mercy on me for the transgressions of mine, Teruhashi.
Toritsuka Reita: are you like okay dude
Teruhashi Kokomi: Oh..?
Toritsuka Reita has added Saiki Kusuo to SEVEN DEADLY DIHS. Press and Hold for more.
Toritsuka Reita has added Akechi Touma to SEVEN DEADLY DIHS. The author is getting tired of writing “press and hold for more” over and over.
Toritsuka Reita: i like bribed saiki-san with coffee jelly to remain in this gc
Toritsuka Reita: and i bribed bowl cut with saiki to also remain in this gc
Kuboyasu Aren: that's a bit intimate of them is it not
Aiura Mikoto: ew are you making another gay joke
Aiura Mikoto: pussy
Kuboyasu Aren: NO???
Kaido Shun: The Aren gaymous arc..
Yumehara Chiyo: Dude the author really needs to read the manga.. the gaymous arc wasn't in the anime
Yumehara Chiyo: She has no idea what she's yappinh about lwk..
Kuboyasu Aren: hey now
Kaido Shun: Genuinely stop breaking the fourth wall
Kaido Shun: Fricking corn ball
Aiura Mikoto: “fricking”
Kuboyasu Aren: i can't defend you any longer twin ✌
Kaido Shun: tThat was a typo
Toritsuka Reita: hmmmm
Akechi Touma: @Saiki Kusuo it appears i am outside of your door! please open up, it is a little chilly outside, if i must give my own two cents. of course, the peculiar weather patterns are not of my opinion to discuss, but it is rather cold. i have that scarf i borrowed from you, however it is not sufficient enough to shade me from the cold, bitter frost. i urge you to open the door, kusuo. i fear i am in my monitoring arc by deco*27 arc, as mikoto-chan says.
Akechi Touma: @Saiki Kusuo
Kuboyasu Aren: go to dms what the fuck
Aiura Mikoto: i take it bqck lolol!!! 🤣 ✌ thats very intimate
Akechi Touma: yay! he opened the door. also, in regards to the messages above, i wonder what connotation you speak of in regards to me and kusuo's relationship.
Aiura Mikoto: his messages keep getting shorter…
Kaido Shun: Is rhat not a good thing?
Kuboyasu Aren: it is a matter of concern
Toritsuka Reita: normally bowl cut kinda pmo but the lack or speech is disgruntling
Aiura Mikoto: wow we're using big boy words now
Kaido Shun: I didn't know he knew what that meant
Kuboyasu Aren: i am almost proud of you, even.
Toritsuka Reita: KYS KAIDO YOU WATCH THOSE FACEBOOK REELS ON VOCABULARY TIPS AND THEN PARROT THEM TO WVERYONE TO ACT SMART
Aiura Mikoto: son sfym 😭😭
Kaido Shun has left SEVEN DEADLY DIHS. Press and HOLD FOR MORE.,.,.,..,
Kuboyasu Aren: golly
Hairo Kineshi: Oh! Is he okay?
Aiura Mikoto: its okay he's probably askiny his kitten whiskers to re add him or smt
Kuboyasu Aren has added Kaido Shun to SEVEN DEADLY DIHS. Press and Hold for more.
Kaido Shun: May the dark reunion get you all.
Saiki Kusuo: may the dark reunion get me.
Yumehara Chiyo: HEY IT'S SAIKI
Toritsuka Reita: HISTORIANS WRITE THAT DOWN
Aiura Mikoto: LMAOOOOSOOAOAO FR
Kuboyasu Aren: wWhat
Kaido Shun: No not you Saiki you're cool
Saiki Kusuo: may the dark reunion get me.
Aiura Mikoto: oh wait nvm apparently it's toumatou typing on behalf of kusuo
Yumehara Chiyo: Oh I felt like I was just witnessing his first words. Okay ig.
Kuboyasu Aren: very intimate of akechi to be on saiki’s phone
Yumehara Chiyo: Mikoto-chan how dyk that??/?/?/?//?
Saiki Kusuo: may the dark reunion get me.
Aiura Mikoto: ok now it's kusuo i believe
Yumehara Chiyo: That was funny the first two times Saiki
mikoko ☆: @everyone lwk forgot to do my homework so if someone could like share the answers i'd kiss you
wrong prescription: my name is so corny what the hell 💔 why did these change overnight
mikoko ☆: as in your glasses prescription is useless but you need adderall
wrong prescription: ew
mikoko ☆: ok but like kuboyasu can yoy please help me?? you're smart i think
failed abortion: this moniker of mine is one of offensive nature, toward my very wishes and my very dreams, and is discriminatory. i wish i were an aborted child, so while you may be attempting to attribute to this group chat in the form of a jest, making fun of the one sorrow that seems to have only bloomed two-fold ever since i was added to this ridiculous mind-fuck of a friend group is horrid, appalling, even. how could you live with yourself after bringing me more grief? if anything, protection would have been a better choice, but alas, being under the influence tends to muddle up your decision-making skills, thus leading to the creation of yours truly. my mother must have failed somewhere, however, as either my parents were secretly siblings, or it is the fireplace ash i have grown quite fond of consuming that has now affected my development.
failed abortion has changed mikoko ☆’s name to overwatered tree. Press and hold for more.
wrong prescription: ouch
overwatered tree: ok i'm sorry toumatou. answer to question 13?
failed abortion: no but i am aware of thirteen (13) different ways to end my own life along with yours. murder-suicide has never been this.. enthralling, before. in fact, as we speak, i have come up with a fourteenth (14th) method of murder-suicide, though i am slightly under the weather, and kusuo's room is very warm and comfortable. i will not be leaving as of now, but do not forget my words.
delusional blue brick: Oh! You do you, Akechi-kun! What does my name imply? :)
i am donating my prostate: nothing
i am donating my prostate: also EXCUSE ME. i need my prostate for stuff !!! my magazines need company yk and i will be accompanying them.. smirks with like so much rizz
wrong prescription: ew shut the fuck up toritsuka
delusional blue brick: Also, Mikoto-chan, we can head to DMs for help with the homework! I can totally understand the unability to complete school work due to perverse siblings that make me want to join Akechi-kun in murder-suicide!
bark bark bark: nveer lookwd at tgis gc but omg me too!!
i am donating my prostate: who are you
bark bark bark: meRA CHISATO!! sorr my keyboard is brokEN
delusional blue brick: Hi Mera!!
overwatered tree: hii chisapoyo!!!
wrong prescription: are you ok
failed abortion: no, absolutely not. i am not okay, i do not recall the last period in which i was ever okay, and i do not think i will ever be okay again in my life. what was it that made you think i could ever possibly be categorised in the realm of anything /adjacent/ to the meaning of "okay"? go fuck yourself.
overwatered tree: no
i am donating my prostate: no
delusional blue brick: Ofc! Hope you guys are too :)
failed abortion: to translate for the idiots with skin thicker than my ass, the aforementioned message by teruhashi is meant to be read as the opposite of what she means.
wrong prescription: I WASN'T ASKING YOU GUYS??
bark bark bark: Yeahh@@!
failed abortion: a no as well, obviously.
wrong prescription: fair enough, you're all like unempl*yed, minus mera so that explains it