Work Text:
Lae’zel paced across the kitchen, phone held to her ear as she listened to the person on the other end. Halsin was leaning against a counter, arms folded across his chest. Large fingers came up to wipe at his tired eyes.
It was two in the morning on a Tuesday. The sound of a phone ringing had woken them up. They both shot out of bed. Only one type of call came at such an hour.
Three years ago, they were sitting in a beige office. They had been married for five years and it was a happy one.
Many thought they were an odd match. Halsin, a self taught artist with a love for all things nature, and Lae’zel, a veteran with a no nonsense attitude. Somehow, it worked. She kept him grounded while he taught her true freedom.
So when the doctor came in and revealed the devastating news that they already expected to hear, they took comfort in each other, holding tightly in the middle of the night while tears were shed over something that would never be.
Months later, they were enjoying breakfast. Lae’zel was discussing converting the room that was once meant to be a nursery into an office for Halsin when Halsin sat forward, reaching across the table to take her hands in his.
“My heart, I still see the pain in your eyes, the want for a child,” he said softly.
Lae’zel rolled her eyes. “It is no matter. We cope and move on.”
“But what if we consider other options? There are plenty of children in need of a home. We could help them, care for them.”
“Fostering?” Lae’zel asked. Halsin nodded. She sighed. “I suppose we could see if such a thing suits us.”
So there they were, years later and in the dark of their kitchen while Lae’zel hung up the phone with a yawn.
“A two year old,” Lae’zel told her husband. “His name is Xander. His parents have passed. They found him alone in nothing but a tattered blanket.”
Halsin went to her, tipping her chin up to look at him. He could see her anger begin to cool at his touch. “We’ll care for him as long as we can.” He dipped to kiss her forehead as she nodded.
~
The true work began as soon as the phone was placed down. Halsin went to the large supply closet that held tote after tote of supplies, labeled with ages and interests. He hauled out the one with a bright yellow sticker, a scrawled 2-3 years on it.
Everything from clothing to a plush blanket to a stuffed animal was pulled from it and sat aside. He placed the lighter tote back into its rightful place before grabbing both diapers and pull-ups, unaware of which was needed. Then a bottle of lavender scented children’s shampoo and a matching body wash were added to the growing pile. He’d even found a rubber duck resembling a dinosaur. It was all scooped up into his arms and dispersed where needed.
While her husband gathered the necessary items for the child’s arrival, Lae’zel organized the guest room.
She began first with the bed. The crib they had set up for the last little girl was hastily converted into a toddler bed, large rails removed to be replaced by smaller ones and lowered just in case the little boy was a squirmy one.
A green, striped bed set with a matching comforter was grabbed from a shelf along with a brand new pillow. Lae’zel worked at putting it on in a neat and proper way. Some military habits didn’t die.
She plugged in the galaxy nightlight and the sound machine, setting it to gentle waves until the boy expressed interest in another noise.
The clothing Halsin brought in was tucked away into a dresser, with the Bluey pajamas laid out on the bed.
The doorbell rang just as she was finishing strapping down the rail anchors. Halsin’s head popped into the doorway.
“He’s here,” he said. “Ready?”
She could hear the wavering in his voice. The one that was always there with a new child. His hand came forward, waiting. She nodded and went to him, threading their fingers together.
~
Xander was in the arms of a caseworker. The clothing they found for him was baggy, hanging from one shoulder, his hair hung in his eyes, and his thumb was tucked into his mouth as he tried to fight off sleep.
They were given a small duffle bag, presumably containing what little the child had, and told they would receive a call in the morning. It was the usual song and dance; little to no information, being told the child would be with them for an indeterminate amount of time. Nothing they hadn’t gone through before.
Halsin reached for Xander. At first, the boy was hesitant. He only stared at the outstretched arms in front of him. Then, after some gentle encouragement, tiny hands came forward and he was scooped into Halsin’s grasp.
“Let’s get you into something comfortable and in a nice, warm bed. Is that alright with you?” Halsin gently asked. He treated each child with care, letting them know they always had a choice.
Xander nodded against his shoulder, and they disappeared down the hall. Lae’zel held the duffle bag in her hand, preparing to take it to the laundry room. She stuck out her hand for the worker’s number and grinned as she heard a giggle.
~
Days went by. They were told Xander had no other family willing to take him, so he would be in their care for longer than anticipated. It was no bother to them though.
Xander ate well. His favorite foods were berries and pancakes. He didn’t resist bath time. He would pick a story each night and lie down for bed. There was only one tantrum to be had over Lae’zel having to take away his blanket to wash it one afternoon, but she calmed him, telling him “strong warriors do not cry over such things.” He flexed what little muscle he had on his arm and she nodded in respect.
Xander was a nearly perfect child, but the couple did notice one thing. Xander didn’t speak.
Full conversations weren’t expected from a two year old, but he wouldn’t say simple phrases or answer their questions. He would only shake his head in a yes or no fashion and there would be occasional sounds of glee or frustration.
Lae’zel sipped at the mug of black coffee in her hand. She sat at the table while Halsin finished washing dishes. Xander was still asleep.
“He doesn’t speak,” she simply said.
“I’ve noticed.” Halsin tossed the dish towel over his shoulder and turned, leaning against the counter. “We’ve encountered shyness before.”
“What if he never speaks? Then what will we do? We cannot send him to another family and then they…They don’t accept him.”
Halsin went to her, hands on her shoulders. “You care for him, my heart. I can see it when you’re near him.”
Lae’zel jaw tightened, emotion brewing though she hid it well. “He’s…grown on me more than the others. I cannot say why.”
“We’ll do what we can. One step at a time is all we can take.”
~
Books upon books of sign language were bought and studied. Weeks passed by of Lae’zel and Halsin reading over them and teaching Xander a new one every few days. The boy learned quickly. He soon knew the signs for eat, more, drink, play, and sleep. They were working on potty, though Xander had a habit of signing it when he was on the toilet rather than before he needed to go.
One evening, Lae’zel sat on the rug pushing a car back to Xander every time he let it run down the towering track they built. He paused and walked over to her, collapsing into her lap and yawning. Her arms came around him, squeezing, and then his little hands lifted.
More, he signed.
She squeezed again.
More.
Another, longer squeeze.
More.
This time she did not let go. She held him close until his eyes closed and he was softly snoring.
Carefully, Lae’zel rose from the floor with Xander in her arms and carried him to his room. He was tucked under the sheets with a soft graze of fingers pushing hair away from his forehead.
Xander’s eyes opened, only slightly with long eyelashes fluttering. He grabbed the stuffed owlbear next to him and held it close.
“Love you,” he said before falling back asleep.
Lae’zel froze. Then for the first time since she was told she would never bear children of her own, she cried.
They would have a child of their own because in that moment, she knew Xander was theirs.
~
Halsin couldn’t agree more. Every second spent with Xander was a precious gift unlike any other. There was a love shared between them and the little boy that he couldn’t let go.
The process of adoption began. It wasn’t terribly complicated considering Xander had no family. Plenty of paperwork was signed and filed. Not long after, a hearing was scheduled to finalize the adoption.
A day before, Halsin sat with Xander outside of an ice cream shop. Xander had a smear of strawberry ice cream across his upper lip, making Halsin chuckle.
A man exited the store with his daughter just as a dollop of the dessert fell from Xander’s spoon and plopped on the ground. Halsin reached over with a napkin to wipe Xander’s mouth and he giggled.
“Someone’s having fun with dad,” the stranger remarked, grinning, and then walked along with his daughter’s hand in his grasp.
Halsin’s brow furrowed and then he sank back into his chair. Xander carried on, enjoying his melting ice cream, while Halsin watched in awe.
Dad. The one word echoed in his mind. He would legally become Xander’s father in one day.
He stared at the child across from him. His expression turned to one of joy, a wide smile growing across his face with eyes filled with hope and wonder for their future together.
He quickly moved from his chair to kneel by Xander, swiping the napkin across his mouth again.
“Would you like to go to the park?” Halsin asked. It was nearing nap time, but he really wanted to take advantage of his newfound father title and that included making Xander as happy as possible.
Xander raised his fist to sign for yes excitedly.
Halsin cleaned up Xander and lifted him to sit on his shoulders as they walked to the park. Tiny hands would cover Halsin’s eyes every so often or accidentally yank his hair. He smiled to himself, realizing he wouldn’t want it any other way.
~
Lae’zel and Halsin left the courthouse with a dozing Xander lying on Halsin’s shoulder. Xander had officially been declared a part of their family. He was theirs. He was their son.
It was odd a few days later when they had decided to no longer foster with having sole responsibility of Xander. It was discussed into the later hours of the night and the next day. They would donate the remaining supplies to families in need.
The guest room was transformed into Xander’s perfect room. The living room became a play room. The backyard was changed from a summer hangout to a playground with all the bells and whistles.
Amidst all the chaos that came with raising a toddler, Halsin and Lae’zel found themselves lying on the couch with Xander curled between them. There was a quiet each night before bedtime, a stillness that settled upon their home. Most would consider it peaceful, a break between the endless whirlwind that was having a child, but it only reminded them of what could have been; a silent home without the laughter of a child.
They looked to each other and then Xander, thumb between his lips. That was no life for them.