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"Now, dear Retsarra, I can already hear your question. Why would we possibly take a dragonslayer with us to parley with a dragon? Well, would you believe me if I said that Hraesvelgr was more offended by Lady Iceheart?"
"If she truly soulshifted into his wife, I can see why," Retsarra laughed, his body shaking beneath E'andhris. As tempted as he was to correct him, the haunted look he'd worn all morning had only just been put to rest alongside Atticus, so he was content to instead bask in the sound of his laughter. "It's harder for me to imagine the two of you not getting along."
"Oh, we despised each other at first. Far worse than the way we were at the start," he replied, poking the other man in the cheek. "Our closeness came with time."
"Like a fungus," Retsarra hummed, quoting what Estinien had remarked earlier that morning.
He carried E'andhris on his back as he meandered down the dusty road toward the Outskirts. Despite his concern over the younger man's recent psychonekrosis episode, Retsarra had once again proven that he was made of more stubborn stuff, simply telling him he could carry his greatsword for him if he was that concerned. Nevermind that it meant he'd have to carry them both.
"Exactly. Like a fungus," E'andhris huffed with a roll of his eyes. He knew they looked worse for wear, but the stares they gathered as they wandered into the town proper made him tetchy. While he'd managed to heal their wounds, there wasn't much to be done for the state of their gear. "It did get better after we slayed Nidhogg, then worse when Nidhogg possessed him, but Estinien did become more agreeable after we managed to save him."
"...How was he possessed if Nidhogg was - wait, is he also a soulshifter?" Retsarra asked, seemingly unbothered by the attention they were garnering. "And he gave me shit for Fenrir..."
E'andhris laughed. "It's not quite the same," he said, pondering the great power that the first brood's eyes possessed. "Or if it is, it would be more akin to you and Fenrir vying for control whenever you channeled his power."
Retsarra quieted for a few steps before saying, "You were able to save him, at least."
"It took longer than it should have. I fled from my responsibilities," E'andhris admitted thickly, tightening his hold around Retsarra's shoulders. He had no doubt the other man's thoughts had turned to Hector. His tongue formed around the words he wanted to share of his own failures, but he struggled to speak them aloud. "There are...many people that I've let down in my life. Some have even died due to my actions. Like Hector."
They came to an abrupt stop at a crossroads. "I don't blame you for what happened to him," Retsarra said quietly. "You were trying to help him. It isn't your fault he got scared. It's mine."
There was no rebuttal to be had there that wouldn't be a lie. They both knew the consequences of Retsarra's inaction. Instead, E'andhris leaned further against his back, embracing him from behind. "Share with me some of your happier memories?" he asked in a whisper, lips brushing up against the soft fur of his ear. It fluttered against his mouth before pinning as he processed the request. "I'd like to know the Hector you knew."
Retsarra hesitated, shifting his weight from leg to leg until finally, he nodded. "There's something I want to show you," he said as he turned, leaving the main thoroughfare to cut down a side street. He walked quickly, only slowing as they neared the giant wall that split Heritage Found in two. He came to a complete stop in front of a small adobe house tucked right up against the electrope. A solitary tree stood vigil out front in what E'andhris found an inspiring display of defiance against Alexandria's oppressive presence. Not unlike Retsarra himself, he mused affectionately.
"I grew up here," he said with a nod toward the humble dwelling. "Hector lived next door, just down the stairs."
"It must have been nice to live so close to each other," E'andhris offered. Light filtered through the windows of the house, along with sounds of life. Somewhere inside, a woman sang. She paused as another inhabitant asked her a question, then laughed. It was too faint to hear the specifics, but it was clear that a new family had moved in after it was left vacant.
"I'm sure Hector hated it," Retsarra replied, glancing over his shoulder with a grin. "I shared before that once upon a time, he was so shy he could barely speak. When we were children, I took his reticence as a challenge. He'd refuse my invitations to come over and play, so instead I invited myself over to his home. I think he'd have run away from me forever if not for that."
"He did come around eventually, though," E'andhris pointed out. He smiled at the thought of a miniature Retsarra menacing his larger hyune friend until he'd simply given in and accepted his friendship.
"It took some persistence, but yes." He sighed, glancing back at his old home. "It's a shame someone else lives here now. I wanted to show you our old fort on the roof. Provided it's survived the past four years."
"You still can! If we're quiet, they might not even realize we're here." E'andhris squirmed until Retsarra was forced to put him down lest he drop him, then darted across the street toward the house. A ladder was propped up against the side, allowing for a quick climb. He sat on the edge of the roof, grinning down at Retsarra, who frowned up at him. He shook his head and crossed his arms when E'andhris beckoned to him.
"Suit yourself," he said with a shrug, standing to investigate the rest of the roof. There was plenty of space to walk around, and a door leading to the second floor, though the windows were dark. In the corner, an old, tattered tarp had been nailed into the adobe. One end had come loose, leaving the fabric to flutter in the wind. It was the perfect spot for two children to hide away from the world in one of their own making.
"Andhris," was hissed from behind him as Restarra climbed up after him. "We shouldn't be here. This isn't my house anymore."
E'andhris flashed him a bright smile, then pulled the tarp from the wall, shaking it out before laying it down like a blanket. "Whatever happened to all the mischief you claimed you used to get up to?" he asked in challenge as he sat down. "You'll let me smuggle you out of the Everkeep, but this is where you draw the line?"
With a disapproving click of his tongue, Retsarra sat beside him as he sprawled out, lying on his side to face him. "Tell me another story about yourself. About you and Hector, or Eutrope," he coaxed, dancing his fingers up the hhetsarro's thigh.
"I think I deserve a tale about you now, don't you think?" Retsarra countered, capturing his hand in his own. He pressed a kiss against his knuckles, casting him a sidelong glance from beneath his lashes. "We could take turns."
With a hum, he rolled his thoughts around as he cast about for a light-hearted story from his youth. "My closest friend as a child was also a hyune - though we call him hyur in Eorzea," he began slowly. He'd lost said friend when Dalamud fell, but he treasured the memories he kept of her. "Her name was Mira. Her father was a sailor, and her mother passed when she was a wee thing, so one of my cousins, who lived in the village she was from, often watched her. We all but lived in the vineyards whenever I visited, stealing grapes whenever the workers weren't looking."
"Ah, so you've dabbled in crime since childhood," Retsarra teased, smiling softly. He leaned his chin against his hand, propped up on his knee. "Did you always want to be an adventurer? Even back then?"
"I did. My mother raised me on stories of foreign lands. Thavnair, Ala Mhigo, Corvos...I wanted to see them all."
"And Tural?"
"We didn't know it by that name at the time, but aye. One of our more famous explorers disappeared over here long before even my mum was born, and I used to dream of sailing across and discovering what happened to him," E'andhris shared, wrinkling his nose as he realized just how many of his childhood dreams he'd accomplished. It was a strange feeling. "What of you? What did you want to be as a kit?"
"Free." Retsarra winced as he said it, lying down beside him on his back to stare up at the perpetually stormy clouds overhead. "My mother also shared stories of the outside world. How blue the sky was, and the way the sun looked as it set over Lake Toari, painting the water shades of pink and purple. She used to rant about how the rroneek were never meant to be kept in fenced-in pastures. Of course, it's too dangerous to let them roam free here."
"I think our mothers would have gotten along," E'andhris thought out loud. He rolled onto his back to skygaze too, frowning at the clouds. It was no wonder Retsarra was the way he was. He'd feel just as desperate if he only ever saw grey skies. "She's mentioned she'd like to meet you someday. My mum, I mean."
Retsarra glanced at him with a thoughtful frown. "What about you? You don't talk about your family often. Do you want me to meet her?"
Rather than reply, E'andhris bit his lip and sat up. "I don't want to put you on the spot," he admitted at length. "I'd like to think things have been going better between us of late, and I'd rather not provoke your anger again."
A hand wrapped around his arm, tugging at him until he lay back down, closer to Retsarra than before. "I won't get angry with you," he reassured. E'andhris scoffed at that, remembering the way he'd punched him earlier that morning. "I won't! You're more to me now than you were before. Do you think I'd risk coming out here for someone I held such disdain for?"
His indignant outburst made E'andhris laugh, covering both of their mouths hastily to muffle them. "You're angry with me now," he teased, leaning closer to steal a kiss from him. "But don't worry. I like your temper. You're still passionate, despite the way this place has beaten you down."
"I'm usually better about keeping my composure," Retsarra muttered, chasing after his lips. E'andhris allowed him a second kiss, then a third before he ducked away.
"I have that effect on people," he said, smiling at the way the hhetsarro pouted at the distance he created. "I happen to be a professional youngest child. An obnoxious little shite with six elder sisters who had better things to do than mind their crybaby little brother."
Despite his bluster, his heart began to race as he spoke of home, wondering how much to share. His sisters were often a sore subject, though not as sore as him. Retsarra rolled onto his side, watching him with a sympathetic look. "I was a crybaby, too. It used to be one of Hector's nicknames for me," he shared quietly. He took a deep breath, then smiled. "You being the youngest explains a lot. I never had any siblings, but Eutrope used to complain about Yaana being quite similar to you when she was younger. The difference there being she grew out of it."
"You being an only child also explains a lot," E'andhris retorted, sticking his tongue out. His hand snaked out to pinch Retsarra's side for good measure, making him yelp and slap his hand away. "I wouldn't want to risk it if I were your mother either. Imagine having more, and they all ended up just like you?" He shivered in mock horror.
Retsarra rolled his eyes. "I was cherished, I'll have you know."
"At least one of us was," E'andhris said, then regretted at once. He felt a lump form in his throat as Retsarra's eyes rounded in shock, then softened in pity.
"Andhris..."
He shook his head, unable or unwilling to speak more on it. He wasn't sure which. Words of reassurance and deflection both fled him, leaving him shocked into muteness by his unintended candidness. Retsarra took his silence in stride, simply reaching for his hand to link their little fingers together.
"I was still young when I lost my parents," he said after a moment that stretched on for far too long. "Construction on Yyupye's Halo had just finished, so a celebration was held. Before, farming had been a struggle, so the adults were excited. Hopeful, for the first time in a long time. Hector had been, too, but I'd convinced him to go exploring with me."
Retsarra didn't look at him as he spoke, staring instead at the adobe wall next to their heads. E'andhris pressed their palms together, offering his silent support. "Have you heard of the heshuala?" He inhaled sharply at the question. Of course he had. The hulking elementals had drawn his attention almost immediately upon his arrival through Vanguard that first time. It hadn't been that surprising, given the aetherial state of the region.
"We only found out what happened when we returned home that night. Levin struck a watering tower, giving birth to one of those monsters. My parents..." he trailed off, clutching E'andhris' hand more tightly. Tears clung to his lashes. "Even worse, Hector couldn't remember them. It was like I'd always been an orphan to those who wore regulators. Trying to talk to them about it only made me sound disturbed."
"I'm sorry," E'andhris uttered, finally finding his tongue. It felt woefully inadequate for how isolating that must have felt, especially for a child left alone with his grief. He scooted closer, offering his shoulder.
"It brought us closer, ironically," Retsarra sighed, leaning into him. "So much so that it came as a surprise when he chose to work at the Halo instead of following me into the hunters. It was...difficult to support."
E'andhris drew him closer, rubbing idle circles against the back of his palm with his thumb. It seemed like a dam had opened, as Restarra continued, "I was so angry with him, we didn't speak for three days. He enjoyed the work, though, so I tried to set it aside. I used to rush home after every hunt to check on him, fearing that a heshuala would take him away too. He teased me for being such a worrywart."
"It's difficult to imagine him as a farmer," E'andhris admitted, bunting his head against the hhetsarro's in comfort. "I know he was much more than the Brute Bomber, but it seemed so natural for him."
"He grew into it," Retsarra replied with a wan smile that didn't reach his eyes. "It gave him confidence and a purpose we were both lacking by that point in time, though the irony isn't lost on me that he was safer on that farm than by my side. If he hadn't followed me into the Everkeep..."
With a sound of dissent, E'andhris rolled on top of him. He cupped either side of Retsarra's face, squishing his cheeks. "That isn't what he chose. He chose to follow you because he didn't want to be separated from you," he argued. "Just as you worried for him, he worried for you."
Retsarra blinked up at him in surprise, slowly wrapping his arms around him in a loose embrace. "You're right," he said. "It's hard not to regret it, though, looking back and seeing all the points where you went wrong. It was his choice, but he deserved a better friend than I was to him."
With a sympathetic hum, E'andhris lowered to press their foreheads together. "I promise you this. Once I've won the Heavyweight Division and the Arcadion's supply of souls is mine to do with as I wish, I'm going to release them all into the aetherial sea. The feral souls and those of the fighters. They deserve better than to persist as fuel or entertainment. Especially Hector," he whispered, nuzzling his face into Restarra's. "Perhaps we'll all meet again in the next life. I'd like to be his friend next time."
He saw the tears spring to Retsarra's eyes a moment before he moved, swiftly flipping them so E'andhris was beneath him. Lips covered his, hard and desperate, only to break away to scrub at his eyes as he breathed shakily. He rubbed the other man's back, letting him hide in his neck until he'd composed himself again.
"If you wish to spend time with Estinien, you can go catch up with him," Retsarra offered. His tone made it sound like a request. "I'm going to stay here a while longer."
"Are you sure?"
He nodded, slowly sitting up to free him from where he'd been pinned. "I'll catch up with you later. I don't think I'm brave enough to risk reentry on my own," Retsarra tried to joke, his smile coming across more like a grimace.
Reluctance to leave the younger man on his own slowed E'andhris' steps as he walked to the ladder. Glancing back, his heart ached to see the ball Restarra had folded himself into, head tipped back toward the sky again. "Is your offer to sneak me outside the dome still on the table?" he suddenly asked as E'andhris began to descend the rungs.
"Of course," he said at once. He hovered there, hanging off the side of the building as he watched the hhetsarro's figure with wary hope.
"I can't say yes," Restarra said, finally meeting his gaze. "Not yet," he quickly added at the way his face fell. "But I'd like to revisit this conversation once you've won."