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The day had been dragging on for Natsuo, as he floated through school in a blur. It was full of one too many tests and friendship group drama that he didn’t care enough to keep up with. All he could do to keep himself from leaving early was remind himself, over and over, that it meant coming home to Tomura, rather than waiting for him, and ultimately falling asleep before getting to see him.
So Natsuo dragged himself around campus, oblivious to classmates attempting to steal his notes, or half-friends trying to catch his attention as he bee-lined back to his apartment. All he could focus on, aside from his excitement to get home, was the headache nestled in the side of his head. By now, he couldn’t be sure if it was a result of not sleeping, or simply too much caffeine. Maybe that should imply that caffeine wasn’t the solution to sleep deprivation. Maybe the real solution lied within the name itself.
It’s not like Natsuo was surprised he was this tired - he had spent his night hunched over his desk, learning all the effects of not sleeping. At least he knew that not only does the hypothalamus control sleep, but he, as every person, has a suprachiasmatic nucleus, responsible for his biological clock. Or that the hypothalamus’ arousal centre switches off when the ventrolateral preoptic nucleus releases inhibitory neurotransmitters in response to the suprachiasmatic nucleus’ biological clock.
And because of his experience on top of his vast knowledge on the hypothalamus and its systems, Natsuo would definitely not be learning from his mistakes. He would struggle through today and repeat the same mistakes again next week.
However, tonight he would be dead to the world, passed out in his bed with his boyfriend snuggled against him. The brain, and its million and one different parts, could wait.
Stepping through his front door let a sigh of release escape him, and his body slump into a hunch. He was finally home. He could finally find Tomura and force him to go cuddle.
Suddenly, Natsuo froze, eyes locked onto an unfamiliar figure sitting in his living room. Sitting on his couch. The little girl was curled up on his sofa, rocking herself back and forth, like it would keep her little world from collapsing in.
God, how much sleep had he been missing lately for the hallucinations to begin? That was only supposed to happen after, what, two, maybe three days of no sleep? He was sure he got at least a few hours dozing last night, and he definitely had a full night before that.
Natsuyo wanted to reach for his phone, to call his boyfriend and figure out if he was forgetting some big studying, gaming call. If he’d been so focused he’d been oblivious to Tomura’s rambles as he played, if he’d been so oblivious he’d forgotten they called in the first place. Before he could grasp his phone, however, he paused under the stare of the little girl.
She had also completely frozen. A terrified look screamed from behind too wide eyes, silently begging him not to hurt her.
She flinched back as Natsuo stepped forward, pulling her hair over her face like a mask. The man could no longer be sure if she was just an illusion, invented by himself, or if she was a living, breathing human being resting on his couch.
Despite the inner-turmoil raging within Natsuo’s head, he couldn’t help but notice the girl’s mouth hanging open in a silent scream that managed to rattle Natsuo’s bones as if it was piercing through him. No sound escaped, and yet he heard every noise, of startle and fear and pain.
Was he supposed to pretend she wasn’t there, explaining her away with the loss of a little sleep? Or was he supposed to address her, making sure she was okay, even if she’s either not real, or an intruder in his home?
Uncertainty ripped at him, tearing apart any form of confidence in his own senses, his own thoughts, his own brain.
The silence suffocating the room shattered as the soft patter of footsteps entered, bringing the presence of the person Natsuo needed most.
“Tomura?” Natsuo’s voice wavered as his eyes flicked between him and the girl, desperately searching for the answers hidden away from him.
“Hey,” his boyfriend wandered over, planting a kiss to his cheek, like any other, normal day. “I’m making Eri some tea. Want some?”
Eri? Is that the girl’s name? So she’s with Tomura, but how does he know her? And what’s she doing in his apartment?
“Nat?” He turned back to face Tomura, “I asked if you wanted a cup of tea?”
“Can we talk first?” He watched as Tomura’s eyes darkened, unsure of the possibilities presented before him. A glassy look overcame them, a mask slipping over the dread that he tried to hide.
“Nothing bad, I promise. I just have,” a pregnant pause stretched between them, “a lot of questions?”
“What about?”
“Well, maybe we should start with: Who’s this?” Natsuo gestured towards the girl, not missing the way she flung herself back as he raised his arms. What had happened to her?
“This is Eri. She’s,” Tomura glanced towards her, willing the words to come to him. "I met her on a recent mission, for the League. We were looking for a potential ally, we found her instead.”
“Where?”
“I can’t answer that.” It had been a long forsaken agreement between them. Tomura wouldn’t share about the League, and Natsuo wouldn’t ask - for it gave Natsuo deniability, a chance to not be sentenced to life in Tartarus if their relationship were to be discovered.
“Where did you find her?” Natsuo couldn’t help the venom slipping into his tone, as his volume gradually inched up “Where do you just find a little girl covered in bandages whilst looking for an ally?” Too many thoughts crashed in Natsuo's head, dizzying him. He knew that Tomura had his boundaries, that he would never dream of hurting a vulnerable child, and yet, a traitorous voice whispered that he didn’t hesitate at USJ, or UA’s summer camp. Whether five or fifteen, they were all children who Tomura didn’t hesitate to hurt.
Tomura’s eyes snapped to lock with his, his jaw clenched hard. “She was under another villain’s care. I found her whilst we were looking around his base, and I couldn’t just leave her there. Okay?” Tomura bit back, anger seeping into his tongue.
He paused to take a shaky breath, “I didn’t hurt her, Nat,” his voice became quieter, barely audible over the thumping of Nat’s heart.
Aside from the rhythmic pulse, silence dangled between the two, fragile but thick with tension, Natsuo couldn’t help but want to scream as Tomura wrapped his arms across his chest, gradually becoming smaller and smaller as his shoulders hunched over himself. “Tell me you didn’t think that.” His voice was barely audible, and yet it echoed about the room, rattling off every surface as his face fell.
Tomura covered the pain up quickly, with a mask of indifference and a cold, calculating stare that bore through Natsuo.
“The League and I don’t have the funding to keep ourselves fed, let alone somewhere warm and safe. She can’t stay with us, and we can’t just leave her. Just,” he paused, staring at his feet, “Just make sure she’s safe, wherever she ends up, all right?”
Natsuo wanted to reach out. He wanted to grab Tomura’s arm and pull him into a hug, to explain that he knew he wouldn’t hurt Eri. But instead he watched his boyfriend drift away into the young night, like a ghost never truly there, unable to even utter a goodbye.
Natsuo turned away from his door, beginning to move to his couch, to bury his head in his hands and maybe drift off to sleep, hoping he was just faced with a bad dream, one that will be whisked away by the morning sun. But the little girl was staring at him again.
Her gaze pierced through him like Tomura’s had, both scrutinising and broken. Scared he would lash out, that he would shout at her, maybe hurt her, if those bandages suggested anything. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.” He croaked out.
Natsuo had no experience with children aside from Fuyumi’s stories of her school. What was he supposed to do with an unfamiliar kid, quite possibly kidnapped from whatever life she used to know. “My name’s Natsuo.” He tried, his throat suddenly dry.
Silence hung between the two, undisturbed by either. Was Natsuo supposed to keep prompting? Did she want to be left alone?
“I’m Eri.” The words gently whispered to Natsuo, a secret he should keep away, away from friends and family, and anyone prying into his life. He would keep her safe and secret from the dangers of the world.
—-
Another call rang out into voicemail, leaving Natsuo to bury his head within his hands.
After a much needed night’s sleep, Natsuo had woken to a series of shocking truths: He had overslept and missed his morning lessons; Eri was in fact, very real, and sitting on his couch where he left her the night before; And Tomura was infuriated with him, now giving him the silent treatment. What had he done?
Now, days later, Natsuo sent just one more message to Tomura, explaining that he was sleep deprived, begging him to come back, declaring his love, and along with all the others, it went unread. His boyfriend’s words continued rattling amongst other thoughts, no matter where he was, or who was trying to talk to him.
“I didn’t hurt her. Tell me you didn’t think that.” He couldn’t even hide the break in his voice as he realised what Natsuo thought. How many times had Natsuo promised him he wasn’t a monster, only to unravel their whole relationship, their trust, without even saying anything?
On the other hand, Eri turned out to be an absolute sweetheart, as proven by her immediate attempts to cheer him up. She placed an apple on Natsuo’s table, trying to make him feel better about Tomura leaving him. The man had quickly learnt that was her way of caring: Through her love of apples.
Natsuo waited for her to retreat back to her corner of his couch before reaching out for the fruit. Sweet, refreshing flavours filled his mouth as the bite he took made a satisfying crunch. “This is amazing, thank you.”
Natsuo grinned as he noted a small tug on Eri’s lips. Whilst strained and held back by something dark and buried deep behind her eyes, her small smile was enough for Natsuo, for now. He knew he’d keep working with her, keep supporting her in learning to smile and being a normal child, whether it took days or years for her to feel safe around him.
All his thoughts froze. Years? Was he really considering looking after Eri for that long?
As Natsuo continued turning the idea over in his mind, he couldn’t keep himself from thinking any other; He wasn’t going to let Eri go, and deep down, he knew that from the moment Tomura entrusted her in his care.
The soft patter of footsteps found his way over to him again, and Natsuo held his breath. Eri never got this close.
“You need to remember to lock your doors next time.”
Natsuo’s neck snapped up, his eyes lighting up. He’d come back; Natsuo was on his feet within seconds, reaching out to wrap Tomura in his arms.
“Tomura? I’m so so sorry, I didn’t mean that,” he paused to take Tomura’s face in his hands and meet his eyes, “I made a mistake to suggest that. Please, forgive me?”
Seconds of silence dragged on for what felt like centuries, until Tomura melted into his arms, mumbling a short “I know,” into Natsuo’s ear, repeating it over and over, until Natsuo noticed the tears slipping over his cheeks and landing against Tomura’s collar.
He | immediately pulled back once he realised, hastily wiping his eyes into his sleeve like it could hide away all evidence of his tears. Though he didn’t seem to need to, as Tomura placed a soft kiss on his cheeks.
“I’ve missed you. I’m sorry.”
“I missed you too, Nat…. And I’m sorry for not replying sooner, I know… I know you didn’t mean that, I just…” Tomura trailed off, unable to form the words scrabbled on the tip of his tongue.
Instead, the two remained wrapped in each other’s brace, understanding each other’s pain, even without being forced to explain. They just knew they could let themselves relax, finally breathe after days of tension.
Then a little voice cleared her throat, drawing their attention away from each other. Eri watched them, confusion painting her features.
Tomura was the first to respond to her, stepping out of Natsuo’s hold to move closer and crouch to her level. “Hey Eri, are you feeling better?”
Eri nodded quickly, her eyes wide and hosting a glisten that Natsuo hadn’t seen before: Hope. “Is he gone?”
“Yes. He will never lay a finger on you again.”
Tears immediately welled up in her eyes and overflowed, rolling down her cheeks and dripping onto clenched fists. “He’s gone? He’s really…”
“He’s gone. You’re safe now.”
Natsuo didn’t know who they were talking about. He didn’t need to know. All he needed to know was that whatever Tomura had done was to save that little girl, and that was enough.