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Vecna and [anonymous] are battling, battling to the death. Hell, they have been for quite some time now. But, as [anonymous] spots Vecna's one true love, Vecna knows his fate.
*Vecna's fucked if he wants to win this.*
[anonymous] walks away from Vecna, just to go to a pretty little slot that can only fit one thing, it was only ever meant to fit one, singular thing.
*Vecna's limited edition crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry febreeze that he had gotten from the dollar tree a few years beforehand;*
Vecna's febreeze that he's fell completely in love with., Like a stupid little lovesick puppy. It's sickening to see somebody so heartless care about something such as this so much.
But, as Vecna looks away due to the distinct sound of someone screaming in the distance, [anonymous] pulls out their bag, and they grab a spray bottle of...
*Normal febreeze and another bottle of Jasmine febreeze. Disgusting.*
Vecna wants to puke at the sight, knowing he could never even think of smelling another scent than his one true love, his limited edition crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry febreeze's scent. But, as Vecna is lost in thought, [anonymous] almosts spritz the godly awful Normal febreeze, and the terrible, terrible, Jasmine febreeze.
Vecna rushes over, but it's too late. *His one true love, his husband, is in the hands of another being. And Vecna hates that, he hates it with his entire heart and soul. "W-WAIT!" Vecna screams, he screams without realizing. "Stop what., Exactly?" the figure in front of Vecna's very eyes says, coldy. Very, coldly.
Vecna's scared, petrified even. "I-I'LL DO ANYTHING! JUST.. PUT IT DOWN.. PLEASE.. Y-YOU CAN KILL ALL THE DEMOGORGONS, DEMODOGS, AND DEMOBATS.. H-HELL YOU COULD EVEN KILL *ME*... B-BUT PLEASE.. I BEG OF YOU... LEAVE *MY* CRUMBL COOKIE X SPRITE CRANBERRY FEBREEZE ALONE... PLEASE." Vecna suddenly outbursts. Causing a dark, sinister chuckle from [anonymous]. As if.. *they're planning something. Something horrendous.* [anonymous] then, out of evilness, sprays a puff of Jasmine febreeze.
“AAAAHHHH…..!!!!.
Vecna screams as he feels the burn, the burn of.. *floral smells..* he gets down on his knees.. and begs, begs for mercy.. and to smell his delightful and hope felt limited edition crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry febreeze, that he got from the dollar tree a few years back..
“PLEASE.. MERCY……”
he screams while he gets another whiff of… *jasmine febreeze.. that goddamn floral scent..* the jasmine febreeze sends shivers down his spine… but as he almost breaks down crying.. he witnesses the person infront of his very eyes.. pulling out..
*expired tropical febreeze spray.*
he almost cries, almost. but as he gets more deprived from his delightfulness of crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry febreeze.. he collapses.. he collapses onto the very ground beneath him.
The sprays are then thrown at his head and they bounce off, the veins recoiling at the sharp, fruity scents Vecna has grown to despise.
"J-Just one whiff of... of my limited edition scent..."
He screams as something new, something utterly VILE enters his nostrils
*How about some cotton fresh?*
Vecna widens his eyes in terror, all his horror contained in such a small bottle
"N-No. NO—"
*SPRITZ*
As Vecna realizes to the fullest that he got sprayed with.. *cotton fresh..* *he starts shaking.. shaking so hard that, he himself can hardly breathe. It feels as if, the love of his life has just died infront of his very eyes.
And honestly, to Vecna? That dollar tree limited edition crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry febreeze *was* *the love of his life. He felt empty, worthless, and despicable without it. *without his crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry febreeze.* to most, it doesn’t seem like a huge deal, but to Vecna.? He wants to cry. He wants to shrivel up into a ball and sob into his arms until he passes out from crying too much, and he almost does. *almost.* But he can’t., Not until he gets his most prized possession… *His dollar tree limited edition crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry febreeze.*
So, Vecna arises from his spot on the very ground he had coddled his dollar tree limited edition crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry febreeze on just one night before, and he’s practically out for lunch with the way he’s staring at the very figure in-front of him, in front of his very, very angry eyes. He looks like he could kill someone right now, and hell, he might.
*For his dollar tree limited edition crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry febreeze? He just might kill everyone on earth.*
But then, that person in front of him, grabs his most precious piece of him and throws it on the ground, smashing it with their feet.
*Vecna’s petrified.*
Then, miraculously, Vecna stands.
The figure in front of him freezes, unprepared for the strong stance Vecna takes. His legs, before trembling weakly as he had groaned and moaned into the ground in agony, were straight. He had an arm wrapped around his waist. Was it in comfort to himself, to console him frail psyche that *no* it wasn't the end?
Or to prove he did miss his *limited edition crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry* more than they knew, than anyone ever would. He wasn't ashamed. No. He was determined. Determined he'd best these wayward febreeze welders and their offending smells for *his true love.*
*His soulmate*
An arm, one that cradled his beloved bottle so sweetly before, gripped on one of his attacks throat. A hand made to caress the curves of his special canister lovingly forced to harm instead. *And he swore to make them pay for it.*
If he has to kill the puny humans before rejoining his love. Then so be it. He might as well, for his love.
Then, all of a sudden, his one sworn enemy…
*The owner of dawn dish soap…*
Shows up… out of the blue. Vecna freezes., and turns his head to look at the owner. *The owner of dawn dish soap.* Vecna hates him for truck loads of reasons, but the main one? The main one is that he tried to take his limited edition crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry febreeze that he got from dollar tree a few years ago… *HIS limited edition crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry febreeze that he got from dollar tree a few years ago. HIS. VECNAS.*
Vecna’s fuming with rage, almost exploding because of it, but then.. he gets a whiff of.. *Cherry Blossom febreeze.* Vecna *HATES* Cherry Blossom febreeze. He kneels down yet again.. He then cups his face with his own hands.. And Vecna starts sobbing. Sobbing like he never has before, and what feels like the only time he ever will sob like that.
*All for his limited edition crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry febreeze that he got from dollar tree a few years ago.*
The grief hits him like a physical wave, causing him to kneel pathetically at the memory. As though running on fear the anger the spite then rage then *love* , he almost feels the fight escape him
The blood that ran through those sickening veins that his creator, the mind—no. No *Mr Daddy Long Legs* wrapped him in begin to shrivel. It's like his yearning for his beautiful *limited edition crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry* was what had really been keeping his body humming with fresh blood.
"This, this can't be right. I'm meant to—" *COUGH*
... What..?
The smell, lightly fruited under the overwhelming scent of sweet sugar and home ground grains...
*His love. His one and only limited edition crumbl cookie x sprite cranberry febreeze.*
It had come to join him in his last moment full of comfort and guidance. Oh what joy!
Vecna smiled his special smile, reserved for his soul mate in every universe. His vessels crumpled and collapsed, his meagre remnants of flesh dripping down like marshmallowfluff. But he was happy to die like this, smelling like goodness even if only feet away from his worst memory, because he had *it*.
"Goodbye, my sweet." *he murmured to the ghost of his affections. Ready to join it in a better world. Together*
He dies, he dies while reaching for his one true love.
*His crumbl cookies x sprite cranberry febreeze.*
*Vecna couldn’t have had it any other way.*
