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Everyone likes to tell me that I’m the leader of the Sunlight Sisters—the press and our fans and Mi-yeong and Poppy too and I’m our lead singer so in a lot of ways that’s true but a body needs a heart more than it needs anything else and Mi-yeong is our heart. I tell her that and she laughs at me and shoves me and I stumble and bump into the couch and we all laugh its one of those cold winter nights inside with the fire burning and the heater running. I wonder sometimes how cold it got in the hanok before electricity and technology and all of the modern wonders and I think that those old Hunters must have been as tough as nails.
Tougher than me surely. I like to read about them sometimes and Mi-yeong and Poppy aren’t as dedicated to the Hunter traditions as I am and that’s one of the reasons they say I’m the leader. So maybe there’s some truth to it.
But Mi-yeong is our heart and our lyricist and Poppy is our anchor when we fight demons and sometimes I feel like I’m just here to tell everyone what to do but they already know what to do. But they won’t wake up without me they’ll sleep in all day and Hunters can’t be caught napping when a breach could open any minute. Lives are at stake and Soo-min always taught us that we should keep ourselves as sharp as our weapons. I like to do some light calisthenics and then wake them up and we’ll go for a run together.
The wooden floor of the hanok is cold on my feet. Mi-yeong wanted to put carpet in but the wooden floor is our history and carpet is filthy besides so I talked her out of it. I reach out my hand and steady myself against the wall.
“Celine?”
“Who’s there?”
“It’s me. Rumi. What are you doing in this hallway?”
“I’m going to the helseujang.”
“That’s down a different hall.”
My hand is still on the wall and I feel a picture frame and not the tapestry that should be there the old beautiful thing painted two centuries ago about the first Hunters and their fight against the demons before they created the Honmoon. It is a vibrant piece of art and my favorite in the whole house and I’ve never told anyone but I love that it hangs in the hallway that leads to the helseujang so I can see it every morning when I go to do my light calisthenics and it reminds me of the long lineage of Hunters that I am proud to be a part of.
The tapestry is not there. I squint my eyes. There is a poster on the wall. It’s for our band the Sunlight Sisters and it is not a good picture of the three of us we’re all turned to the left and our faces are only visible in profile and I think we must have hung this up for the memories and not because it is a good picture of us. I remember this photoshoot and we had to get creative because Poppy had a cut on the side of her chin that had just been stitched so in some of the poses our heads were so close together that our faces were touching so that Mi-yeong and I could hide Poppy’s chin but they would never let us use those pictures so the poster has the picture of the three of us in profile.
And the stylist had been so worried about it we told her that Poppy dropped a can on her face trying to reach into a cabinet and everyone believed it because she was the shortest of us (she always has to get her pants re-hemmed) but it was from the claw of a demon and it had bled so much. It was my fault she had been cut in the first place because I was supposed to be watching her right side and I made a mistake and the demon got through. A demon had got through on the night Rumi was born. That was a long time ago.
It happens so quickly. Mi-yeong only just gave birth and the baby is still crying but Mi-yeong is holding her now and Poppy is sitting down because she delivered the baby because it had to be her—I was never good at first aid and how could we explain to a hospital that the mother would heal quickly because of her connection with the Honmoon anyway the paparazzi would be relentless if they found out where Mi-yeong Ryu was giving birth so it was better for Poppy to deliver the baby—and I’m in the room watching them and he is there too.
There is a crash from the front room and the demons have arrived and they almost never attack the hanok because it is a sacred place and the Hunters cannot be beaten in their most sacred place. But the demons are coming in through the door and Mi-yeong is still lying down we’ve all been awake for many hours because it was a long birth and how could I sleep while Mi-yeong was in labor even if Poppy was the one delivering the baby? She just finished washing her hands.
He dies first. He cuts a swath through them and he tells us to take Mi-yeong and run but there is nowhere to run to because this is our most sacred place and anyway we are all tired and then he dies and vanishes just like the rest of them. Mi-yeong doesn’t know because she is still in the room with the baby but Poppy and I are outside in the hall. I am standing behind Poppy because she is a stone wall with her axe and nothing can break past her and they can only come one or two at a time in the hall. I am behind her with my sword and I can step around her guard and pierce a demon and if we were rested and healthy and if we had Mi-yeong with her bow we could have lasted until sunrise and killed every demon there but Mi-yeong is still lying in the room with the baby and I am so tired.
We fight for hours anyway and wood splinters and a demon crashes through the wall and Poppy is gone just like that. She’s bleeding and I was never good at first aid and if I was I couldn’t have saved her. I can’t cry because I have been awake for so long I have been fighting for hours and I am dehydrated but a part of my soul is missing and I fight and give ground and cut demons because if I fail Mi-yeong is in the room with the baby and she can’t stand up.
Most of the demons are gone now. Gwi-ma sent an army so large that there will not be dangerous breaches for many years. I run a demon through and he bites my shoulder and I fall to one knee they pile on me and some rush past me into the room. I scream and thrash and use every ounce of strength the Honmoon gives me but when I make it to the room I am too late. Mi-yeong is bleeding and I was never good at first aid.
“Poppy is gone” I tell her and she is crying and the baby is silent and she asks me “What about ——?” and I can hardly even hear his name because I hate him so much he killed the Sunlight Sisters before we ever died and I say “He is gone too” and I say “You need a hospital” but Mi-yeong tells me that she is dying and I finally cry even though I am dehydrated and our faults and fears must never be seen.
The baby was born with hair thin and purple and Mi-yeong tells me that I have to look after her. She asks me to keep her safe and to love her so I take Rumi and I say “Until my dying breath” and Mi-yeong apologizes for leaving me and I hold her hand until she is gone.
Rumi was such a sweet baby. She was such a good child. She is a better Hunter than I ever was.
“Celine?”
“What?”
“Why are you in this hall?”
“I don’t know.”
“And where’s your walker?”
“My what?”
“Your walker.”
“I don’t know.”
“And you’re barefoot—no, nevermind. Let’s get you back to your room. Come on.”
She takes my arm and she is so strong and so big and she is Rumi.
“You’ve grown so tall,” I tell her and she laughs.
“You used to be tall too. You were so tall. I’d look at you and think that I’d never be as tall as you.”
“You’re taller than I am now.”
“You shrunk.”
“I’m an old woman. That’s what happens when you get old. Don’t laugh at me—this will be you one day when you’re old.”
Hunters don’t always grow old because there are only three of us to protect all of Korea and we fight at night and sing during the day it is a hard and busy life so we die young or middle-aged but I am an old woman now and I would like to see Rumi grow old too because it would be a terrible thing to bury such a bright and talented child.
“I’m old too.”
I look at her hand on my arm and it is strong and her fingers are straight and I know that those hands can still hold a sword or strum a guitar and they are not the hands of an old woman.
“You’re not that old.”
“I just don’t look like it. My father’s genes were good for something after all. Don’t you know how old I am?”
“Your father’s genes?”
“My demon half.”
“You shouldn’t talk about that.”
“Don’t you know how old I am?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’m 24 years younger than you. How old are you?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know how old you are?”
“I was born in… so I would be, well… What year is it?”
“What year is it?”
“Yes, what year is it?”
We come to my room and she ushers me inside and my bed is not made. I would never have left it in this state so someone must have come in and undone my sheets and my blanket and who would do something like that? My walker is there too and I go to put my hands on it but Rumi tells me to sit on the bed and I do and she opens a drawer in my dresser.
“The wheel on my walker was squeaking.”
“I know it was.”
“It was making this awful racket. I was worried I would wake everyone up.”
“You shouldn’t be wandering the house while we’re all asleep.”
“Yesterday a woman came and fixed it.”
“Did she?”
“She was nice.”
“That was me, Celine.”
“Was it?”
“I fixed your walker. Don’t you remember?”
“I suppose I don’t.”
She kneels by the bed and pulls the socks onto my feet and I used to sit in the chair by her bed before she slept and I would sing to her and then I would read to her and we would read books together and I would show her the pictures and she would smile and that’s how Rumi learned to read. When she was older we would hum or sing together her with her small voice she hadn't been trained yet but Poppy and Mi-yeong were gone and the Honmoon had chosen Rumi but it had not chosen Mira or Zoey yet so we had to hold its threads together as best as we could. And so we did.
“I can put them on myself.”
“I know you can.”
“You don’t have to do everything for me.”
“I know I don’t.”
“Let me do it.”
“Please, Celine—just sit still. You can’t bend over.”
“I can bend over.”
I prefer wearing socks anyway I always have and there's nothing comfortable about bare feet on the dirty hanok floor (it's dirty even when I sweep it floors are just dirty) or outside on the grass. Mi-yeong loved the feeling of grass on her feet and Rumi does not because she likes a neat and orderly life she is a sweet child but I told her once that her mother liked the feeling of the grass on her feet and I hardly talk about Mi-yeong to her because our faults and fears must never be seen. So I know that sometimes Rumi walks to Mi-yeong’s grave or to the great tree barefoot but she doesn't like it.
The girls are at the hanok for the first time and it’s their very first morning and Zoey takes off her shoes and squeals and runs out onto the grass and pumps her fist into the air and says that she is ready to learn to save the world. The wet morning grass must slip in between her toes but she has a smile on her face and she calls for Rumi and Mira to join her and I watch from the hanok while I drink my coffee.
I can tell that Mira doesn’t want to do it but she sees that Rumi also doesn’t want to do it so she takes off her shoes and runs after Zoey and then Rumi looks at me and she looks at the girls and she joins them tentative and barefoot. She did not often spend time with children her age but she was a bright and wonderful child and now she is a teenager and there are two teenagers sharing a house with her and it is an adjustment.
It is their first morning on the island and they all know that they are going to be idols and demon hunters and protectors of Korea and they understand but this is the first day of their training so I walk them to the sacred tree and the path is not grass it is dirt and sticks and small rocks underfoot and I am fine because I am wearing my sandals. The girls are all barefoot and Mira and Zoey complain but Zoey keeps a smile on her face and Rumi is silent but I can tell she is suffering too and she says “We must callous our feet and strengthen our bodies to destroy Gwi-ma.” She looks to me for approval and she is sixteen and adorable and so strong already and I do not want any part of her to be calloused but she is right that she must be strong and that she must hide herself because she is not safe if she does not hide.
“Are Zoey and Mira with you today?”
She is choosing a sweater for me and she stops and crumples a sweater in her hands and then she turns around and looks at me.
“No.”
“They’re not?”
“No.”
“Where are they?”
“Zoey’s in America visiting one of her cousins or nephews. I don’t remember.”
“In America. Maybe you girls should do a tour in America. The market is growing there, you know.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes it is. It’s something to think about. Maybe next season. The Idol Awards are coming up and you need to focus on that.”
“Do we?”
“You know that you do. It’s your third Idol Awards. That’s a good number. You should be proud, but don’t become complacent. You still need to turn the Honmoon gold.”
She chooses a sweater and closes the drawer of the dresser.
“That’s right. Our third Idol Awards. Don’t worry about us. It’s under control.”
“That’s good. Has Mira finalized your choreography?”
“Yep, she’s all done with that.”
“Where is she today?”
“Mira liked smoking too much. She can’t be here.”
“You should tell her to quit.”
“She doesn’t like to be told to do things.”
Her voice wavers and she leans down and wraps me in a tight hug she is warm and strong and I do not hold her as much now that she is older because when a child grows older they do not always like to be held as much and also because of the other thing but I hug her anyway and it is good.
I held Mi-yeong for the first time after we had been training for eight months I summoned my swords from the Honmoon for the first time and they fit well in my hands like they were made just for me and Mi-yeong threw herself at me and wrapped her arms around me and I dropped my swords and it took me three days to summon them again. I scolded her at the time and so did Soo-min but it felt good that she was proud of me and I hugged her when she summoned her own weapon but not as well as she hugged me. Mi-yeong was the heart of the Sunlight Sisters and Poppy was our warrior and I was just the leader but sometimes it seemed like they never needed me at all. Everything is worse when they are gone and I am here.
She lets me go and smooths my shirt and gives me the sweater that she chose.
“Someone's coming to visit you today.”
“Is it Mi-yeong?”
The woman sighs.
“No Celine. It's not Mi-yeong.”
“Poppy and I were just talking about her. She hasn't come to visit us in so long.”
“Poppy and you were talking about Mi-yeong?”
“What?”
“You were talking with Poppy about Mi-yeong?”
“When did I do that?”
“That's what I'm asking you.”
“Oh. Last night. Poppy and I were talking about Mi-yeong. She never comes to visit us anymore, you know? Not since she started living with that man.”
“She never lived with that man. She lived here with you. She snuck out to see him.”
“Right now?”
“Not right now.”
“Then where is she? She's never around anymore. She's too busy for me.”
“Mi-yeong is dead. Don't you remember?”
“She's too busy to come see me.”
“Come on, let’s go see our guests. It’s Hana. Do you know Hana?”
“Of course I know Hana.”
“Who is she?”
“Who?”
“Hana. Who is Hana?”
“Who is Hana?”
“She’s a Hunter just like us. She and Eun-ji and Dae. You helped me train them.”
“Oh, that Hana. I do know her.”
“You’ve trained six Hunters. How many people can say that?”
“Six Hunters…”
Mira comes to me with a girl and she puts her at the kitchen table and says “This is Hana” and Rumi and Zoey are away looking for two other girls and it is just Mira and the girl and me in the hanok. The girl is fifteen hardly grown at all and full of knees and elbows and acne and attitude and she is the first Hunter chosen of the new generation and Mira does not know what to do with her so she brings her to me. I have trained three Hunters already and I raised Rumi and it is much easier to talk to kids for a few minutes when you sign an autograph than it is to teach a child or to live with one.
Mira and I respect each other but we do not always get along but she trusts that I know what I am doing and I ask the girl to sing. She sings. It is beautiful and untrained but a voice can be trained and I know from decades of experience that she will not be the lead vocalist of her trio but every Hunter is important (I was the lead vocalist of the Sunlight Sisters and I failed them) and anyway the Honmoon ripples and moves and I know Mira’s grief.
Later we take the girl to the sacred tree and I tell her to meditate and try to feel the Honmoon and she looks at me skeptically but she obeys and I know the rebellion will come later when she is more comfortable. I will not warn the girls; they will discover that themselves like I did and they will learn to not be complacent because children are made of trouble and surprises.
Did we look so small when you trained us? Mira asks me that. I tell her Yes. She asks How could you turn us into soldiers? I say that it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but a warrior is alive and a victim is not and anyway they would be the Honmoon’s defenders regardless of training.
Mira says Not anymore and that is true. Hana is the Hunter now and Mira will always have the Honmoon’s gifts but it will never speak to her like it did when she was the Hunter. She asks me how I bear it and I say Alone and not well.
I had an infant to raise and bodies to bury but Mira and Zoey and Rumi all have each other and they will endure together and they will bond with Hana and her Hunters and they will teach them what it means to protect the Honmoon and to reach the fans. I do not tell Mira all of this but I think she hears it and she looks at me and I see that she is grown and is this what it is like to speak to a grown daughter? Rumi will be so good at teaching the new Hunters and it is good that I will be able to see it.
We leave my room and go down a hall that brings us towards the kitchen and there are more posters framed in this hall from the Sunlight Sisters and from Huntrix and from Three Go and from some of the older Hunter trios and I don’t know the names of every Hunter on this wall but I would never take their pictures down because the hanok is still theirs as much as it is mine it belongs to all of us. I ask her what is she having for breakfast?
“Breakfast? It’s lunch. You slept in.”
“I never sleep in.”
“Never?”
“No. I always wake up first. Mi-yeong knows that.”
“Mi-yeong does?”
“Of course she does.”
She hums and she walks in front of me and she is wearing a t-shirt and there are patterns on her arms. I stop and I touch her shirt and she turns around.
“You need to cover those up.”
“Everyone knows.”
“Everyone knows that you have patterns?”
“All the Hunters know that I’m half-demon. They have for a long time.”
“They shouldn’t know. It’s dangerous for them to know. We can cover these up and I can tell Mira and Zoey that this was a misunderstanding. When you turn the Honmoon gold—”
Rumi’s patterns were so small when she was born and she was so small and she was perfect even though in a way it was her who killed Mi-yeong but it was my fault too because I could not keep the demons from the room where Mi-yeong was lying down. But I love her anyway because she is Mi-yeong’s and then she is mine.
But her patterns grow when she does and her eye reflects light in the dark and her teeth cut her lip too easily and her nails turn long and sharp when her favorite cartoon is not on TV or when I explain that Yes the bleeding will happen every month. There is more of him in her every day and what if the demon takes over and my beautiful Rumi is gone and all this is left is the demon? I am the only Hunter and there is no one else to kill the demons. I lie in bed and I wonder if there will be anything left to bury in a grave near Mi-yeong under the sacred tree or if she will vanish like he did and like they all do.
After training I find her and Zoey and Mira on the couch together and the TV is still playing it’s an animated movie about a mermaid who turns into a woman and they think I only let them watch it because they sing along with the songs and it is like training. I turn it off and I look at them sleeping and I know what it is to be one of three Hunters. If there is anyone in the world who will protect Rumi it will be these two. If there is anyone in the world with the strength to kill Rumi it will be these two. She asks me if she can tell them that she has patterns and I tell her that nothing can change until the Honmoon is gold.
“Everyone knows, Celine.”
“It’s not safe for you. Please put your jacket back on. You made me wear a sweater.”
“You’re wearing a sweater so you don’t get sick.”
“It’s not safe for you.”
“I’m not having this argument today. Can you come to the kitchen with me? We have visitors.”
“Is it Mi-yeong?”
“It’s not Mi-yeong.”
“Poppy and I were just talking about her.”
The kitchen was redone after the demons came. Soo-min had updated it while we were training and when it was finished and all brand-new Poppy was cooking and she spilled sauce all over the new cabinets and it stained. Soo-min is upset but Mi-yeong and I laugh and we say that the stain will be there forever and generations of future Hunters will return from training and eat their meals while staring at Poppy’s gochujang and she harumphs and stomps around the kitchen and shakes her fist and for years afterwards we bring up the stain on the cabinets in the hanok. The kitchen was redone after the demons came. It was destroyed and I had to buy all new cabinets and I childproofed them too.
There is a woman at the table. I can hardly see her face but I know who it is anyway it is Hana and she is one of the Hunters that I trained and she is at the table. She greets me but she does not stand to hug me like Rumi did and that is okay because I know that she thinks I am stern and because she only has one leg. It was a car accident of all things and not even a demon attack.
Rumi calls me in a panic because Hana is in the hospital strong Hana who is the youngest of Three Go even though we found her first and she is indomitable and lively and has so much attitude and energy and she is in the hospital and her leg is gone. Rumi doesn’t know what to do and I am an old woman now and I have given Sunlight Entertainment over to her and she runs it well but she is scared and worried and she is still the girl that is not my daughter that I raised and the Hunter that I trained so I go to the hospital where Rumi and Hana and the rest of Huntrix and Three Go are.
She is pale and small and unconscious in the bed and the machines are loud and the lights are bright and I do not like the smell but there are six girls here and I have trained all of them and they need me. The doctors say that Hana will recover but the girls do not know how Hana will dance and they worry about the Honmoon and the fans and about Hana who loved to dance and they all cry but I do not cry and Rumi does not cry very much.
I ask them if it is more important for Hana to dance or if it is more important that she reaches the fans. We have a discussion and we make plans and I help Rumi draft a statement with Three Go’s management team and Hana does not retire. Three Go releases more songs and performs more concerts and wins more awards and Hana never dances or fights as well as she did before her injury but the fans love her even more and she inspires them.
No one ever tells Hana about the conversation that we had while she was unconscious.
“This is Rumi.”
There is a girl sitting next to her. She is small and young and she is nervous but she is beautiful and there is a strength in her shoulders that I know and a hum in the Honmoon that I recognize.
“We’re calling her Dul for now, but I know we’ll think of something better. Zoey will come up with something. And then there’s her stage name to consider—”
“That’s a long time away still. We have to find her partners. Still, a Hunter named after me. I never thought…”
“My parents are big Huntrix fans. I like Three Go better.”
“Ha! You’ve got good taste, kid.”
“You’re both great though! And Hana from Three Go was waiting for me after school, and I thought I was being pranked. But then you summoned that spear…”
“Yeah. It’s wild, huh?”
“And you’re Celine, right?”
She looks at me and she does not have purple hair or hidden patterns and she is not Mira or Zoey or Hana or Eun-ji or Dae but I know that she is one of my girls.
“Rumi…?”
“No. Dul.”
“Let me hear your voice.”
She laughs nervously and she leans back in her chair and looks to the others but they do not help her and she looks back to me.
“You mean like, sing? Right here? In front of you?”
“Yes.”
“I’m, um, not warmed up. And I’m not very good compared to all of you. You’re all super famous for singing. I don’t know—”
“We can start together.”
I close my eyes and I touch the Honmoon and I sing and they all join in and we sing and we are all Hunters together in the hanok.
“We are Hunters, voices strong,
Slaying demons with our song.
Fix the world and make it right,
When darkness finally meets the light.”
We quiet and I release the Honmoon and I feel warm and strong. The woman sings verses from one of her songs and then the girl finds her courage and she sings too and her voice is beautiful and untrained but a voice can be trained and I know that she is a Hunter.
“This is your seventh Hunter, Celine. How many people have trained that many?”
“Not many, I don’t think.”
“Do you have any advice for Dul?”
I meet Mi-yeong and Poppy for the first time in the hanok on the island and I know immediately that they are a part of me and we will only be whole while we are together and we can do anything while we are whole but Hunters are not meant to be apart and Mi-yeong and Poppy are too busy to come see me and every day I want to join them I am ready. But Rumi needs me and so do Zoey and Mira and also Hana and Eun-ji and Dae and this girl needs me too and as long as there is one Hunter who needs me I will be in the hanok on the island.
I tell her:
“We fight the demons and we protect the fans and we maintain the Honmoon and we do it all because our partners fight with us and there isn’t any place we’d rather be than with each other. You can do anything when you’re together. I’m an old woman and I learned that too late. Don’t ever forget how important it is to not be a Hunter alone.”
They nod and the girl looks interested and the woman looks struck and she brings me water and puts a hand on my shoulder and I touch it with my own. My fingers are wrinkled and crooked and hers are young and strong.
We talk and we sing some more and tell stories and laugh and I don’t remember a lot of the stories that they tell but I am in the hanok with my Hunters and it is good.
I think about the armory. The weapons need maintaining. Rumi is growing fast and she'll be old enough to train soon.