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The first time it happens, Eddie almost doesn’t even realize.
They’d just made it home from the Upside Down, kids all piled into little puddles of blankets around Steve’s living room, some of them watching whatever was on the TV and some of them too spaced-out to really process it.
Steve had rummaged around his kitchen, which was always conveniently stocked with what the kids liked— Eddie learned that quick— and passed around snacks and drinks for everyone. It was like he was running on auto-pilot, instinctively knowing who needed to shower first before they crashed hard. That happened to be Lucas, who let Mike and Dustin sit on the tile and talk to him so he didn’t go crazy all alone with his thoughts, then El, Nancy, and whoever happened to get up in time to be next.
Eddie wasn’t surprised when Steve was the last person to use his shower in his house, but he’d used ice cold water in the hopes that there was still some warmth left for Steve— the guy deserved it.
He wasn’t sure how, but in the last few days the two of them had grown oddly close, in the way you wouldn’t expect an ex-jock to gravitate toward a weird kid. It was like Eddie could shrink and crawl into Steve’s mind as if he lived there. Like they were the salt in the sea, balancing one another out perfectly.
So they silently let it all happen.
And before he knew it, he was scrounging around making sure Steve some food, too. He wasn’t too sure what the other liked, but he figured a PB&J couldn’t hurt. Did Steve like the crust cut off like El did? He figured he’d better cut it off just in case.
By the time Steve emerged from the bathroom with damp hair and a new, soft looking outfit, Eddie was able to present him with the sandwich, some baby carrots, and a tall glass of water, no ice.
“Here, you need some food in your tummy, too.”
Steve didn’t miss the way Eddie’s soft voice sounded like a shield against the entire world, the way he spoke to him like he was a little kid who needed care. He naturally did that with everyone, when they needed it, but this seemed to feel different in a good way he couldn’t describe.
It seemed so easy for Eddie to fall into a pattern of being there for him, never sounding annoyed or bothered. And it’d started to be easy for Steve to allow him to do so.
Looking down at it, he smiled at the lack of crust.
“I’m not El, I don’t need a crustless sandwich.”
“Do you like the crust? Sorry, I didn’t know and I figured better safe than sorry y’know?”
Steve took a moment of hesitation that Eddie simply made space for, holding the meal without a single complaint.
“I don’t.. mind it, but it’s nice without it. Thanks.”
“Sure, now how about you actually eat it?”
Steve chuckled, grabbing the plate and turning to the island and setting it down, standing to eat because he figured once he sat down he would never get back up.
Brown eyes flitted toward his fridge, gazing over the countless photos, reminders, cards, and papers he’d hung up with magnets. Lucas’ basketball schedule, a written version of the Hellfire meeting days in Dustin’s chicken scratch, photos of the kids making the most out of his pool, Max’s report cards and her 96% math test.
And god, Steve felt his heart ache when he saw it. Max of all people just had to be the one Vecna chose, didn’t she? He didn’t know how, but he should’ve known— should’ve known how to stop it. And they never ever should have left the house that day.
Eddie stood beside him as he took tiny little bites of the sandwich, eyes staring hard at the reminders of the kids who’d managed to burrow so deep in his heart and make a home for themselves there.
“Whatcha lookin’ at?” Eddie asked softly.
The little brown envelope, folded neatly into his pocket, felt like a ten pound weight as he plucked it out and simply placed it on the island.
“Just— the kids.” He gestured to the fridge, and Eddie nodded with a hum of understanding.
He didn’t mention the envelope, even if he had no idea what it was, and simply collected Steve’s now empty plate.
“Drink the water, then we’ll get you to bed…” Eddie coaxed, pushing it closer to Steve’s resting hands. “Max’s gonna be okay, you know that.”
“I know.”
“Okay, now drink, please.”
And Steve did. Because something about the gentle way Eddie spoke to him just felt right in his chest, felt like he was picking clouds out of the sky and shoving them in where it hurt the most to make everything a bit softer around the edges.
As the glass was emptied, Eddie took it from him, too, and put it in the sink with a soft clink.
Getting Steve all the way up the stairs and into his room was difficult and simple all at once— Steve acting like he was walking through molasses as Eddie’s hand guided him forward on his back. He was mumbling something about not wanting to leave the kids, but Eddie simply shushed him and shook his head.
“They’ll be fine, Nancy and Jonathan and Robin are down there with’em. You and I both know Nance isn’t lettin’ anyone touch them, huh? Besides, you were just complaining about the volume on the TV, you’ll sleep better here.”
Steve pouted, reminding Eddie of a little kid, and looked toward him with puppy dog eyes.
“But El’s watching Alf,” He whined with whatever energy he had left, “I wanna watch, too.”
There was a slight beat of silence where Eddie allowed himself to be caught off guard by the way Steve was speaking to him, but he hardly even thought about it when he kicked an old part of his brain in gear and let it move to the front of his mind, brushing confusion off and understanding that Steve just needed some comfort.
“We can watch Alf in the morning. Right now, you need to sleep. And honestly I do, too.”
Steve sighed and climbed into bed while Eddie rooted around in his closet for a different shirt, the one he’d snagged before scratching annoyingly against the fresh demo-bat scabs and gashes.
Nancy’d taken good care of them— Steve’s too— and decided that Steve’s probably didn’t need medical attention which the latter was glad about. Eddie had already been forced to sit still and let Nancy try her best to make stitches in straight lines.
Picking up an old Star Wars shirt, he slipped it on and turned to make sure Steve was tucked neatly into bed.
He pulled the blankets up to Steve’s chin and relished in his little hum of contempt as he successfully made him into a half-assed burrito, pushing the blankets right up underneath his body to keep him warm.
And when he walked away and Steve called quietly for him to stay, he didn’t mind sitting next to him, leaning against the headboard with a random book in his hands while Steve slept soundly.
The second time, they’d been sprawled out on the carpet of Nancy’s bedroom floor, a half-built Lego set scattered around them as Nancy and Jonathan tried to help Robin with whatever god-awful calculus work she’d gotten herself into. However, she was more focused on not sinking into Nancy’s soft bed and falling right to sleep than doing all twenty problems assigned to her.
Nancy was mostly fiddling with the layout of the school’s paper, which she hopelessly claimed she’d decide on by the end of the hour, but she occasionally points to Robin’s textbook examples and says ‘here, that’s how you do it,’ before turning back to her article.
Eddie wasn’t truly paying attention to the Legos as he and Steve pieced together the car from Back to The Future, which Robin had diligently saved up to buy for Steve— and got almost more excited than him waiting to see him open it. Eddie remembered the way she practically vibrated out of her own skin after he’d taken her to buy it, and the way she held that stupid grin on her face for the entire week until she caved and gave it to him an entire month and a half before his birthday.
He had no idea how they managed to fit so many damn pieces in one tiny car, but he supposed they all had functions to make the it look right in the end. What he did know, though, was that he was becoming increasingly invested in watching Steve build it.
Steve was probably the most focused he’d been in a while, reading the instructions and sifting quietly through pieces to click them into place with his tongue just barely poking out of his mouth. Sometimes, he made a little click noise as he pushed two components together, his feet kicking back and forth behind him. He looked sort of off in his own world, and Eddie spent a moment just watching him, his chin propped up on his palms.
Until Steve looked up at him.
“Uhm, are you gonna help?” Steve asked quietly. “You’re s’posed to be helping find the pieces.”
Eddie smiled at the considerate reminder, and his hands left his face to return to his rightful duty of sifting through piles to hand over the proper pieces.
“Sorry, Harrington, got distracted.”
“‘S okay.”
Trained ears picked up quickly on the miniature shift in Steve’s speaking patterns, dropping syllables and unnecessary pieces of words.
Steve must just be doing that thing where he lets himself be a bit softer for once, Eddie thinks, not a care in the world for the childish tendencies Steve had began to pick up when he was around him sometimes. Because the last time this happened, Steve woke up and mentioned that he slept surprisingly well, and Eddie had reason to believe that whatever happened that night helped him get through that week a bit easier, too.
“Y’now, I think maybe if we work hard, we can finish this by Christmas,” He poked, testing his theory.
“Christmas!? I’m fast, it won’ take that long!” Steve giggled, clicking together two pieces Eddie had just handed him.
Nancy sort of looked over, a little confused grin spreading across her face that Eddie figured was due to his statement rather than Steve’s behavior.
“I’m sure you are— I’m nowhere as good as you! You’ll have to stick to being in charge, ‘cause there’s no way I could do much more than pick out pieces from the piles.”
Steve nodded, a giddy glint in his eyes as he pointed to a new piece and Eddie quickly found it.
“Thanks, Eddie.” Steve flashed a fifth grade picture day worthy smile.
Yeah. Steve was definitely feeling a tad younger in his head.
“No problem.”
Eddie wasn’t surprised in the slightest when it happened a third time, after Steve drove Lucas to the hospital to visit Max, and the entire day devolved.
Eddie hadn’t wasted a second tagging along on the visit, even if he didn’t know her as well, staying quiet as Lucas recounted the week’s events to her, Kate Bush swimming softly out of the radio speakers pointed at her motionless figure.
He didn’t mention the way Steve’s hands curled in and out of fists, or the way he wasn’t breathing quite right every time he forced himself to look at her. What he did do was follow him out to the car when he couldn’t handle it anymore, telling Lucas to take his time and that he would wait.
He didn’t speak, just leaned against the side of Steve’s car with him and waited; watched him bite his nails and stare a hole in the pavement forgot know how long before Lucas finally came back.
The kid didn’t really say much, back hunched a little and hands shoved into his pockets as he told them the doctors said Max was doing the exact same as she was the last time they visited. (And the time before that, and the one before that one, too).
Steve’s hand reached for the driver’s side door, and Eddie made a split-second decision only supported by his sort of strange instinct to mother-hen Steve when he showed the slightest sign of distress.
“Here, I’ll drive.” Eddie put a firm hand on Steve’s shoulder, holding his hand out for the keys.
if there was one thing Steve was very particular about, it was his car, and the party new that. You couldn’t go anywhere with Steve as your chauffeur without Dustin running that backseat like the military to keep Steve happy. Eddie’s pretty sure he hasn’t even seen anyone sit down in the driver seat besides Steve, so he has no idea on Earth why the man is just handing him the keys and—
Oh, he’s handing him the keys.
And Eddie’s seizing the moment before Steve realizes what he’s done, slipping right into the drivers seat and starting the car. He watches Lucas climb into the back seat and buckle his seat belt. They share a look, both of them a little dumbfounded, and Eddie turns to Steve.
“Seat belt.” He urges softly.
Steve buckles himself in, still clearly stressed the hell out, and Eddie pulls out of the parking lot.
The drive is quiet, everyone respectively lost in their own thoughts.
“Uhm, thanks Steve, and Eddie- I guess. See you guys soon.” Lucas muttered, then got out of the car and ran up to his front porch.
Eddie reached to shift back into drive, and Steve held out a hand.
“Wait,” He mumbled, eyes trained on Lucas, “he always puts the key in upsi’down first on accident.”
Eddie smiled, just watching Steve watch Lucas, enjoying one of many little moments where he got to see how much Steve really cared for those kids.
Only when Lucas was safe inside did Eddie actually start heading for Steve’s house, and when they finally made it there Steve didn’t waste a second unlocking the door and slipping off his shoes.
Eddie did the same, taking Steve’s jacket after he took it off and tossing it beside their shoes along with his own.
“Want me to make something? It’s almost lunchtime.” Eddie asked, even though he was already in the kitchen.
Steve shook his head, saying “I can make it- don’t worry.”
After a moment of consideration, Eddie decided it was probably fine. He wasn’t the best cook, anyway.
“Alright. Can I help?”
Steve nodded, and they got to work making the last box of mac n cheese in the house, Eddie getting out the pot and filling it with water and Steve turning on the stove.
“Are you okay?” Eddie asked after a minute.
Steve picked at his nails again, shrugging.
“Yeah.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
Steve poured noodles into the now boiling water, not meeting Eddie’s eyes.
“No.”
So, he just nods and doesn’t push it, passes Steve a spoon to stir the noodles, fiddles with his rings, watches Steve walk over to the fridge to grab butter and milk for when the noodles are done. He watches him stop, looking over his hoarder-esque collection of photos and papers.
It sounds cruel, but Eddie was sort of waiting for him to break.
Steve’s finger drifted over a photo of Nancy, pinning up Max’s hair in curlers, and Eddie figured it was taken before some sort of school dance.
“When’d you take that one?” He asked, creeping up near Steve to look at it with him.
“Jonathan did.” Steve smiled. “It was homecoming, last year- Nance and Robin took her dress shopping. And you know Nancy wouldn’t just let her do those braids she always wears, so she did her makeup and her hair and-” his voice cracked, and Eddie looked at him with every ounce of attention in his body. “and she looked so pretty. And I remember when I picked everybody up they were so happy, and I got everybody ice cream and I remember she made me carry her shoes, ‘cause Nance convinced her to actually put on a pair of heels.”
There it was, the dam was crackling into pieces right before Eddie’s eyes.
“And I knew she would hate them so I brought her converse with me.” He let out a watery giggle. “And this—” He pointed to the report card stacked right below the math test, “she was so excited about this, she always gets like- straight D’s in her math classes. Last year she got a B. And then I let her get hurt and- and I wasn’t there.”
Steve rubbed his eyes with his palms, tears falling.
“Yes you were, Steve. You were there, the whole time. And even if you weren’t right next to her, it didn’t mean you didn’t care.”
“But I wasn’t there.”
Eddie grabbed Steve by the shoulders and pulled him into a big bear hug, and Steve wasted no time accepting it. He curled his arms to his chest, hiding behind Eddie’s arms and shielding himself from everything he told himself he did wrong.
The macaroni was definitely overcooking. But they stood there until Steve was ready— pulling away with tired eyes and trembling shoulders.
“The pasta.” He laughed shortly.
Eddie rushed over, turning the heat off with a smile.
“It’s probably mushy.” Steve sighed.
“Yeah. Want me to make something else?”
Steve appreciated this part of his friendship with Eddie. He could pour his heart out, and two minutes later the other would know just when to move on or linger on it.
“No, I’ll eat it. ‘s fine.”
Eddie nodded, grabbing the butter and milk Steve never managed to grab, and started mixing up the mac n cheese properly.
“Grab me bowls?” Eddie asked, and when Steve presented them with him, he said “Good choice, thanks.”
He served both himself and Steve, then sat down on the couch and motioned for Steve to do the same, ultimately not taking much coaxing.
He didn’t mention when Steve sat close enough for their shoulders to touch, and he clicked the TV on, pleasantly surprised to see ALF already in the VHS player.
“Oh, were you already watchin’ this, bud?” Eddie asked softly, nickname slipping out of his mouth like it’d belonged to Steve for a million years.
Steve tensed, for only a moment, and then sank back into the couch, right into Eddie’s side, going back to working through his macaroni.
“Yeah. Tryin’a catch up with El, she’s always watchin’ it over here ‘cause Hopper wont let her- says he’s annoying.”
“Well, that’s horrible of him. I’m glad you let her watch it, she loves that damn alien more than Mike, I swear.”
Steve giggled, and curled his legs up to his chest as the episode started.
Eddie periodically looked over, making sure Steve was actually eating, and he was. So he let the two of them charge through three episodes, empty bowls discarded on the coffee table and blankets wrapped around them.
At some point, Steve had pushed himself closer to Eddie, who wrapped an arm around him and twirled the back of his hair between his fingers absentmindedly. The gentle sun cast through the open curtains, drowning Steve in warmth and light.
Steve laughed out loud every once in a while, looking up at Eddie to see his reaction too, and oh, those giggles were everything. He thought he might just let them stay there forever, episode after episode, just to hear it over and over again.
Steve’s flipping bacon in a pan while Eddie mixes up some pancake batter at his side, dripping a little on the counter.
“Hey, does Nancy usually take care of you? I was just wondering since I haven’t actually seen her do it and I’ve been lately, not that its an issue.” Eddie blurts out, completely casually.
Steve turns, looks at him, and Eddie realizes that the other is very confused.
“What are you talking about?”
“What do you mean what am I talking about?”
Steve plates some bacon and loads the pan up again as he speaks.
“I mean, why would Nancy need to ‘take care of me’? Nothing’s wrong with me.”
Eddie’s head cocks to the side, inspecting Steve as he processes everything.
“Y’know, when you’re feeling like- younger. When you’re tired or upset.”
“I seriously have no idea what you’re talking about, man.”
“Seriously?” Eddie almost laughs out loud.
How had this happened three times and not once did Eddie ever think to ask him about it? it never really occurred to him that Steve might’ve genuinely been doing it on accident without even knowing why he did it.
“I’m serious!”
“I honestly don’t know how I got this far without talking about it. Steve, you’ve been like- regressing? I dunno what the real term for it is— one of the guys did it a while back but we aren’t really friends anymore ‘cause- well that’s not the point.” Eddie tapped his bottom lip as he thought about how to properly deliver this weird news to someone who he very honestly did not know a huge amount about.
“Huh? Eddie, get to the point, please.”
“To put it bluntly, sometimes your brain is going back to like- kid you.”
Steve looked liked he looked when Dustin tried to explain what a Quantum Physics even was.
“Y’know when we were making your Lego car? D'you remember how how you were acting? How you felt? My friend said its sort of like normal, but things just feel less stressful. Simplified, i think he said?”
Eddie saw gears start to shift and groan in Steve’s head, and he silently wondered if it was a better idea to press on and keep explaining or to stop and give him a second to think.
“I mean,” Steve paused, clearly very deep in thought. “I guess I didn’t really think about t too hard. Everything felt normal, I don’t do that. Why would you think I did?”
“Its not a bad thing, Steve. Actually, it seems to be dong you a lot of good. And its kind of obvious if you know what you’re looking for, which I do. You change the way you talk so its less work to get the words out- dropping letters and words like a kid does. You giggle like a second grader opening a Christmas present that was at the top of their wish list, you need someone to be there for you, and that’s okay, Harrington.
Honest, I really didn’t know you didn’t know. I thought you just didn’t want me to mention it, so I didn’t ‘cause I figured somebody else already knew and you could go to them if you needed something you didn’t feel safe asking me for.”
“No, I had no clue. I guess- was that what that was? Yesterday? I guess was having a horrible day and I remember I sort of just forgot about it ‘till this morning.”
Eddie nodded, and Steve plated the last of the bacon to keep his hands busy. He was taking everything surprisingly well.
“Yeah, I think that was definitely what happened. I’ve never seen you that… gentle. It was nice. And even though it seems like you’re sort of an older age than my buddy, you slept like a baby, dude. Lights out- I thought you were never gonna wake up again.”
“Oh.”
“That’s kinda a dumb expression- don’t babies wake up all the time? Anyways. Back to my point— I am more than willing to… take care of you. If you want me to. I’d like to.”
Steve paused for a minute, silence filled by the sound of the stove as he considered the option, admittedly still wary about the whole thing.
“It’s weird.”
Eddie shrugged.
“I’m weird. And no it isn’t, it’s helpful.”
“It is weird.”
Eddie smiled, raised his hands in defeat, and said, “Then we’ll be weird together. ‘Cause you finally found something that helps, and I’m not letting you get rid of it. Robin might actually make an attempt on my life.”
There it was, Steve’s laugh again.
Suddenly, Steve felt like he really knew, everything was gonna be okay.