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Shane was starting to lose control, mentally and physically, he had in his rush to catch his flight lay over left his bag in the airport terminal in his haste, which usually wouldn’t be a problem , especially when a staff member had found it and called to let him known the airport would be shipping it out with express shipping, before their three day long road trip in Boston ends. Which would be nice if for the fact it wouldn’t arrive in time.
The main problem was the said bag in question held his only vial of suppressants he had, and while the average omega could go out to any pharmacy or drug store and get another round to sate their upcoming heat, his suppressants were a special case. Being on the autism spectrum always had its ups and downs, even more so since he had presented as an omega the summer before his rookie season began, all when he was predesignated to present as an alpha.
Although with his omega suppressants he had to have a long trial and error process to find the only brand that worked for him, which was only sold back in his home town of Ontario, Canada. The brand was still in its early launch phase and hadn’t reached a broader target audience of Alphas and Omegas with autism, the trouble of being able to find this one and only brand that worked for him was a strenuous and tiring effort, but all was worth it once he had found them the winter after his rookie season began.
While he could go out and supplement the suppressants with an over the counter brand from a local drug store until his bag came in through the mail, it would be hard for him to find one that didn’t cause him immense side effects that would affect his hockey playing capabilities. Most other suppressants caused him substantial anxiety, leading to major panic attacks and overstimulation, which could in turn trigger a stress heat within him and with that Shane liked to avoid having to use supplemental suppressants as long as he could.
Although now not having the suppressants was causing him to spiral, he didn’t feel like himself, he felt exposed to the world. As though his scent patches were being soaked through and his secret was leaking out to the world around him, while hockey had become more of a progressive sport in recent years there was still hesitance and prejudice within the hockey league and within the hardcore fans that omegas shouldn’t be involved in such a heavy contact and rough sport.
Mostly just Alphas too afraid to swallow their pride, too frightened that an omega could one up the supposed top of the dynamics chain. While there had been a few omegas in hockey few had ever stayed around long or made the impact Shane has in his short career, most other omegas who had played either retired after a decent run of playing, or had to leave the sport earlier than they planned for unexpected pregnancies and or to start families.
Shane wanted children, he did. But after he had settled down, was married, had won a few more cups and beat Rozanov a couple hundred more times. He definitely couldn’t see himself settling down as he was now and having a baby, hell he couldn’t even be in a stable relationship, he and Rose had broken things off because he couldn’t pretend he wanted her the way he wanted Ilya, the way he wished Ilya wanted him too.
Shane wanted to be in love, to not regret anything so that is why he had gotten an IUD implanted as soon as he had realized suppressants had less of an effect on him than the average omega. Just incase of any slip ups relationship wise or getting pupped outside of a heat which of course was only a 0.0005 percent chance but he wasn’t gonna let anyone’s especially Ilya Rozanov’s sperm challenge that statistic, while they usually used condoms throughout the years they had forgone one or one had broken when an accidental unplanned knotting occurred every so often, usually when one or both were close to take a heat or rut leave for health safety.
The delima at hand was testing all his resilience and strength as to not barge into the blonde haired, brooding Russians hotel room, mount him and take his knot whilst begging for him to pup him, even though it was impossible to achieve. Shane’s omega mind wouldn’t ever grasp that while in pre-heat or heat that he couldn’t and would not be able to fall pregnant during any mating that took place.
Shane ran his hands through his hair, sitting on the edge of his hotel room bed and let out a stuttering breath, shoulder sagging to his sides and head falling to his knees. If he did not stop this anxiety soon he would be well on his way to a black out panic attack. He could make it through these next few days, he’d just suffer with a little overstimulation and anxiety for a few days and everything would be fine and well.
A ding pulled him out of his downward spiral into nothingness he was headed on, lifting his head slightly he caught a glimpse of his phone, screen light up bright displaying a simple message.
“You ready for tonight?” The chat read, picking up the phone he could see it was from “Lily” Shane huffed out a laugh, shutting off his phone throwing it into his hockey bag as he rushed pulled his hoodie over his head, throwing the hood up once it was on, slapping on some extra heavy duty sporting grade scent patches on his scent glands he was finally ready to go out and discreetly buy an emergency suppressant for the game and night ahead of him.
As Shane rolled into the arena's visiting teams' strategically placed parking area to avoid fans clashing with the visiting teams, he pulled into a parking spot furthest from the entry and put his car into park. Leaning over into the passenger seat and pulling out the medical grade fast acting suppressant shot out of the brown paper bag he had bought at a small family owned drug store, rolling in with his hat and shades on and hood pulled up tight may have been suspicious to the kind elderly beta woman behind the counter, but she said nothing of it as she quickly rung his transaction up and thanked him for coming, wishing him a nice day as he exited the store.
Shane rolled up his athletic shorts, using an alcohol wipe to sanitize the area whilst uncapping the suppressant shot with his other hand, taking the shot into his dominant hand and closing his eyes while counting to three before jamming the shot into the upper part of his freshly cleaned thigh, yelping at the penetration.
Groaning softly as the needle left his thigh, he placed a small bandage over the bleeding area and rolled his shorts back down over it, picking all the trash up and crumbling it into the small brown paper back which he shoved to the bottom of his hockey gear bag to be dealt with later.
Climbing out of the car he began his descent into the arena for their practice skate and pre game warm ups, once he had changed into his gear and uniform. Walking down the tunnel to the ice and seeing the Raiders also practicing as well as warming up he let a small smile slip as he met eyes with Ilya. Stepping onto the ice and taking a few practice shots at the net as well as laps around the ice he rendezvous around to center ice where Ilya was stretching out his legs, begging to do his own stretches whilst secretly speaking to the Russian male without too many others noticing.
“We still on for tonight? after? “ Shane asked quietly, looking at Ilya for an answer which was met with a brief nod, Shane continued “19-19…its the code for the front door…my front door.” he spoke again, hands fidgeting with his hockey stick, one running up and down the blade of the stick. Ilya looked up into the chocolate eyes of the freckled man before him.
“Front door? Brave.” He spoke, joking sarcastically as he continued to do his quad and lower body stretches.
“Fuck you.” Shane huffed out a laugh, shaking his head as he turned to begin to skate away from the frosty eyes of the man in front of him only to hear the quiet reply of “Later.” drawn out in the deep and husky accent laced voice of the Russian male.
-
Once the game was underway things that were off the ice were forgotten, both playfully playing with one another on the ice during face off plays, laughing and just enjoying being able to play with one another. Everything soon came crashing down to a grinding halt, as Shane was looking back at Ilya smiling whilst skating with the puck down the ice into Boston territory when he was slammed into by Marleau, not even having time to react before he was laid out on the ice moaning in pain, clutching at his right shoulder.
The arena had gone silent, then outrage as Hayden started a fight with Marleau for the hit, even though it was a legal hit within hockey, as long as a players feet don’t leave the ice or a player who is not processing or actively trying to possess the puck among a few other ones, it was legal. Shane knew that, Hayden knew that, hell everyone knew that, but when one of your own is hurt especially with how Shane had immediately become welcome into Hayden’s familial pack and cemented himself a permanent place there with Jackie and the kids it became personal in a matter of words.
Shane couldn’t hear much, the ringing in his ears still present from his head hitting the ice, eyes stinging from the bright lights above as he tried to pry his eyes open to see the commotion and see who was talking, only to have to squeeze them closed tighter with every attempt. He was aware when the medics came onto the ice and started to examine him, he could faintly hear Ilya continuously asking if he was alright in the background still muffled greatly by the ringing in his own head and pain radiating from his shoulder and head still.
“Rozanov, I won't tell you again back to your bench!” one of the referees yelled at the Russian, who was still skating anxiously around the other player the world perceived as his rival splayed across the ice, sending unwanted reminders into his brain of finding his mother at the age of twelve on the bathroom floor of his home.. No house back in Russia, with a pill bottle in her hands, it was only a home when his mother was still living, now that she was gone it was just a hollow shell of a home once alive with life, with all this coming back into memory at seeing someone so precious to him in such a similar situation as he had to witness fourteen years ago.
Ilya began to posture up against the beta ref and let out a rumbling warning growl from deep within his chest, he wouldn’t be separated from this special person in his life, not now and not ever. He began to square his body up at the referee, making his body seem bigger than it actually was, an old archaic way that was used by those of the first Alphas of intimidating off enemies from pack and mates, ways of keeping those close to them safe and cared for.
As Ilya continued to engage in intimidation with the referee, the sound of the gurney being wheeled off the ice caught his attention. Whipping his head around to see the paramedics rolling Shane off the ice as he was still mumbling something for them to tell someone, whilst the attending medical team was telling him to keep his eyes open and they were calling his father, the last thing Ilya could make out was a soft “No…” before the freckled man was out of his sight and hearing rage, growling he turned to the ref who had got in his way, but before he could act on the aggression he had he was whisked away by one of his team mates to his own bench where he was forced to stay the rest of the game, refreshing the MLH website and twitter in hopes of any kind of news or update on Shane, all to no avail.
The Raiders lost the game 3-1, Ilya not being able to concentrate on the game at hand as he kept seeing his mother in how shane had laid motionless on the ice, how he could lose the only other good thing that has ever came into his life and refused to leave because of his personality or issues. The person he had begun to love, and that he could have lost, and he was too scared to even admit he loved him, and that was what was the scariest part to him. He was in love with Shane Hollander and he couldn’t even fully admit it to himself let alone the man in question.
Sleeping was impossible, worry eating away at him as he sat on his bed biting his thumb nails as he continuously refreshed any and every page that could have an update pertaining to Shane or his condition. When he got the call in the early morning hours of the next day, from his coach that he had heard Shane was fine but out for the season, Ilya breathed a small sigh of relief that Shane was physically okay after that nasty hit. After recovering from the shock and relief that Shane was alright, Ilya began to pester his coach until he was given the address of the hospital Shane was admitted at, he had never drove so fast in his life as he did on the way to the hospital.
As soon as he opened the door to the room that housed the freckle-faced male his heart melted at the simple drawn out sound of his first name falling off those plus lips.
“Ilyaaaaaa!” Shane drew out once he had seen the Russian in the entry of the room, clearly dosed up on some heavy duty pain medications. Ilya walked over to his bedside after quietly shitting the hospital room door, shushing the other male as he took the few steps from the door to the bed, grabbing one of the out reached hand the hurt male was offering he began to rub soothing circles into the back of said hand, trying his best to comfort him.
“You scared me” Ilya said, voice struggling to come out without getting choked up.
“I know, they wouldn’t let me text, I’m sorry.” Shane spoke, head leaning to the side.
“No, is okay. Shhh.” Ilya said, thumb coming up to brush across the freckles that dusted the other male's cheeks.
“Marleau is sorry, he didn’t mean to hurt you.” Ilya spoke softly, offering the apology Marleau wanted him to convey to Shane when he had found out he was going to give his ‘best wishes in getting better.’
“I know, it is part of the game, we all get our bells rung every once in a while.” Shane chuckled out, smiling afterwards with his eyes closed. “I’m mostly mad at Marleau for fucking up our night, I wanted to ask you something.” Shane said, eyes slightly opening to look up at Ilya.
“Hollander, I think you should rest.” Ilya spoke gruffly, slowly starting to pull his hand away from the Asian male's own, but before he could he was cut off with the most shocking questions he had been asked in a long time.
“Will you come to my cottage this summer? Don’t go to Russia, stay at my house, it’ll be so much fun.” Shane asked, a smile spreading from ear to ear as he looked up at the frowning Russian.
“Hollander, you know I can’t do that.” Ilya said, voice breaking slightly.
“We could have a week or maybe two?” Shane said, smiling lazily up at the blue eyed male.
“Maybe. Maybe” Ilya gritted out, wishing oh so badly he could just say yes, to not be scared to say yes and just be able to go for it, taking in a deep long breath through his nose Ilya finally noticed what had felt so off, the sudden change to Shane’s scent, he had smelt different yesterday but he had assumed with the pain and stress his scent had been altered but know that he could smell him again it was a baser scent, a scent premiating the air around Shane in its entirety.
“Hollander, you smell different… did they use any kind of weird soap on you.” Ilya asked.
“No? Whyyyyy?” Shane asked, drawing out the y’s once again, swinging his and Ilya’s hands back and forth between them.
Before Ilya could explain the question a small nurse walked into the room looking back and forth between the two of them.
“Uh oh, you’re not going to smoother him with a pillow are you Mr. Rozanov?” The nurse joked as she made her way further into the room obviously to check on Shane more thoroughly.
“Haha, no. Great idea but no. I was just leaving.” Ilya said, pulling his
“Okay… Bye-bye.” Shane waved as the nurse began checking his vitals once again.
“Bye.” Ilya whispered at the door, quietly shushing the other male over the shoulder of the nurse as he closed the hospital room door with a loud resounding click of metal lock of the door itself, Ilya let out a shaky sigh and began the long painful journey home.