Chapter Text
Hyunjin POV
“Oh fuck, hyung.” Felix purred. He was staring down at Hyunjin like he owned him and god, he did. He absolutely did. Body, mind and soul. “Look at you,” He cooed sweetly. His voice dripped sugar as he kneeled down on the bed, body carefully hovering over Hyunjin’s so not an inch of skin actually touched.
It was agonizing. Tantalizing.
Hyunjin groaned, gripping the sheets below himself, trying desperately to behave. He clenched his eyes shut, trying to keep his breathing in check but when that didn’t work, he resorted to biting his lip.
He could hear Felix approaching. He swore that his body could sense every millimeter he inched forward, every moment he got even the tiniest hair closer.
“Hyung, open your eyes.” Felix commanded quietly.
The taller man opened his eyes, feeling the tears already pooling there, desperate to escape and wash down the sides of his face and into the pillow below.
His entire body ached when the blond looked down at him with pitying eyes. “Oh, baby,” He cooed, finger reaching out and pulling his bottom lip out from between his teeth. He felt the sting, the bitter taste of copper on his teeth. He felt lightheaded, all of the remaining blood rushing south or dripping from his broken lip.
He looked at Felix with naked desperation. A plea. He was not afraid to beg. He loved to beg.
Felix carefully, gently, wiped the blood off his lip with his thumb, lovingly caressing it away before smiling innocently at the brunette under his control. “Why don’t we put that mouth to better use?” He cooed, his smile turning devilish as he shoved two fingers between his lips and commanded, “Show me how good you are at sucking and maybe I’ll let you taste my cock.”
*****
“Hyunjinnie?”
The hotel door creaked open and Hyunjin slammed his laptop closed hard. His heart was racing a million miles an hour, his body riveted with phantom aches as he swallowed thickly, running his hand over his shaggy hair and trying to not sound massively turned on.
“Hey Lix,” He said with a long sigh. Because as wound up as Felix made him, he was also the only one who could settle him too. The duality of it was odd and confusing and frustrating most of the time but Hyunjin wouldn’t trade it for anything.
The blond walked into his hotel room, suitcase rolling alongside him and his oversized Louis Vuitton duffle bag resting on top. He looked exhausted, dark smudges under his eyes betraying that he hadn’t slept well on the plane. Maybe it was his back. Maybe it was just his general uneasiness when he had to sit still for long periods of time. Lix had never been good at sitting still.
“Is that…?” he asked, eyeing the silver domed plates of food on the table Hyunjin was sitting at and already drifting forward, eyes starving.
Hyunjin smiled and pulled the covers off with a little flair. “Breakfast is served.”
Of course, it was nearly midnight, but it’s still what they called this little tradition.
Back when Lix had first started blowing up, started doing a bunch of solo travel, started walking on goddamn runways, he would go on cleanses to ready himself. None of their members particularly agreed with the idea of Felix doing a three day water cleanse in preparation for these things but they all also understood the industry. There were expectations. There were unattainable standards that they were constantly pushed to achieve.
And so, under the worried watch of his friends, Felix would sink in on himself the days leading up to these big events. Center himself. Prepare himself to wow the world, even though Hyunjin knew he could do that whether he ate a full meal the night before or not.
After the first big photoshoot, Felix had barged into Hyunjin’s hotel room with wide, wild eyes and had declared. “Hyunjin, I’m hungry.”
Without another word said, Hyunjin had ordered them huge burgers from room service even though he’d already eaten dinner a couple hours earlier and they had proceeded to joke how it was technically breakfast since Felix was indeed breaking the fast.
It was stupid and silly but it stuck because it was so unbearably them.
And now, whenever their insane schedules allowed and Felix found himself coming back to their members after a particularly important event, he’d seek out Hyunjin first thing and they would have breakfast, no matter the time.
“Just got here maybe ten minutes before you so it should still be warm,” he said softly. He was exhausted and they’d need to be up early tomorrow but he couldn’t miss this. He wanted to see that content, sleepy smile Felix got on his face after a good meal.
“You’re the best, Hyunjinnie,” Felix sighed, reaching out to give his hand a squeeze before digging in.
Hyunjin hoped the blond was too busy annihilating his burger to notice the blush taking over his cheeks. He quickly moved his incriminating lap top off the table and set it on the floor before getting started on his own food.
“So, how was it?”
Felix nodded, wiping the corner of his lips with a napkin. “It was amazing, Hyunjinnie. I can’t believe they’re going to let me walk with all those models.” He shook his head slowly like he was still in awe of the opportunity he’d been given. He’d gone to Paris for a fitting at Louis Vuitton in preparation for their fall fashion show that he would, once again, be walking in. “I hope I do okay; make them proud.”
“I’m sure you will, Yongbokkie. No doubt in my mind.”
There was so much else he wanted to say. He wanted to tell him that it was impossible for anyone not to be utterly charmed by his angel face. He wanted to tell him that it was impossible for him to not outshine every single person in any given room. He wanted to tell him that he’d been constantly amazed by him since they were eighteen. Over and over again until the awe turned to admiration and the admiration turned into something heavy and impossible and oh so tempting.
But he didn’t. Because he and Felix were friends. Best friends even.
It didn’t matter that he had a crush. It didn’t matter if he was in love. It didn’t matter if the world stopped spinning every time Felix entered the room. It didn’t matter that when he jetted off to fancy events, Hyunjin felt like a piece of his heart dislodged and flew away with him. It didn’t matter if Hyunjin was desperate for him in needy, carnal ways. It didn’t matter if he stared at those little fingers and wondered what they would feel like shoved up-
“You’re too nice, Jinnie.” Felix said with a smile. “How about you? What have you been up to the last couple of days?”
Hyunjin took a deep breath, steadying himself and thanking the universe for sending this angel to rescue him from his filthy thoughts.
“Just prepping for Karma.” God, what an understatement. There had been meetings and long nights in the recording studio and interviews and trying to keep Binnie from having nightly breakdowns over the stress of producing it all.
Felix popped a french fry happily in his mouth. “I can’t believe it’s releasing in only a few weeks. We just finished tour.”
“I know,” Hyunjin murmured. He was beyond excited for the new album, he was. But a little human part of him sort of wished that they’d have a vacation. Not much, lord knows he got too antsy to endure a long vacation, but just a little. Some time to sleep in and spend a little time at home. To have the guys over for movie nights and family dinners that didn’t devolve into debates about what their title track should be for morph into some weird impromptu dance practice.
Just time to be them and not idols.
“How are you holding up?”
Hyunjin’s mind snapped back to the present and the adorable blond sitting across the table from him. He was leaned back, plate empty and clean. He had those wide brown eyes trained on Hyunjin with such softness that it nearly made him blush.
“Me? I’m fine. You’re the one with the packed schedule.” He reasoned, leaning back in his chair as well.
“Oh okay, Mr. Cartier,” Felix said with a heavy eyeroll. He reached for his phone and Hyunjin had a feeling he knew exactly where this was going.
“Lix,” He warned, feeling the pesky blush flooding his face again. Ever since the pictures had been released, Felix would not shut up about it.
“What?” Felix said, looking up from his phone to show eyes wide and far too innocent to be genuine. “I can’t bring up the Arena photoshoot that nearly ended the internet?”
“It did not nearly end the internet, that’s dramatic,” Hyunjin muttered.
“You posed on a bed, Hyunjin! A bed! Look!”
The blond flipped his phone around, Hyunjin’s own instagram pulled up and the pictures staring back at him.
“Oh my god, I’m deleting them.”
“Fine, go ahead. I’ve got them saved.” Felix said proudly, looking mighty pleased with himself as he smiled down at the pictures like they were his greatest treasures. “Look how handsome Hyunjinnie-ah is,” He said, scrolling through the pictures, smile small and devious. “Look how big his muscles are! When did you get so big, Hyunjinnie?”
“Yongbokkie,” He whined, not wanting to answer that. Because the answer was beyond embarrassing and involved him watching Felix bite both Changbin and Channie’s biceps in a single day, coming back to the apartment that night and begging Binnie to take him to the gym.
The blond giggled, finally taking mercy on Hyunjin and nudging his foot under the table. “Only you would be so bashful after posing like that,” He mused with a real, genuine smile.
Hyunjin merely rolled his eyes gently and nudged his foot back. “It’s different when it’s work.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Hyunjin finally stood, stretching his arms up and over his head. “It’s late. I need to shower and you need sleep. We’ve got an early day tomorrow.”
Tomorrow was a full day of dance practice and, as members of danceracha, they needed to be putting their best foot forward. Especially on the cusp of a brand new comeback.
At the mere mention of sleep, he watched in utter adoration as Felix’s eyes grew heavy, like he’d been reminded he was tired. He stood and yawned too, mirroring Hyunjin’s stretch before faceplanting on the bed.
“Hey, hey, hey, not here,” Hyunjin giggled, rolling his eyes fondly and knowing he didn’t mean a single word he’d just said.
“But your bed is always more comfortable.” The blond whined, curling up and clutching the pillow under his head like someone was going to try to take it from him.
“It’s not even my bed, it’s a hotel.” Hyunjin said with a sigh.
“Still.” Felix pouted, sounding exhausted and half asleep already.
Hyunjin merely sighed again and started walking toward the bathroom. “Okay but just for a couple minutes. I’m going to go brush my teeth.” He said, earning some kind of content sigh of affirmation from the blond as he snuggled in deeper.
Hyunjin shut the door behind him, the bathroom light a bright white that bounced off the white of the walls and made everything a little too bright for his tired eyes. He squinted against it and rummaged through his toiletries case until he found his toothbrush and toothpaste.
He’d need to make sure Felix brushed his teeth too. The blond hated falling asleep before he brushed his teeth, always had.
He stared himself down in the mirror, brushing his teeth and trying very, very hard not to think about the blond in his bed right now. Because if he did, if he thought about just that phrase and what it could mean, he’d go insane.
Because Felix had been in his bed more times than he could count but never like that.
When they were younger, a round-faced Felix would show up by his bed in the dorms, late at night, clutching his pillow to his chest and whispering how he couldn’t sleep. The first time it had happened, Hyunjin had been confused. Partially because it had been 2 in the morning, partially because it had been said in English, wrapped in his thick accent that Hyunjin hadn’t quite gotten used to yet and partially because he had no idea why Felix had sought him out specifically. Out of everyone, Felix had come to him and they’d only known one another for a few months.
So he’d scooted over and patted the bed with bleary eyes and he’d watching in amazement as Felix’s sighed like he was so fucking relieved that Hyunjin had got it. Like he was so grateful when he didn’t ask any questions or make him feel silly for being homesick.
He’d woken the next morning to Felix with his arms wrapped around him and nose buried in his neck. And Hyunjin, never very big on skinship, had thought it was actually pretty nice. He smelled good. He was soft. And when the smaller boy had woken up, he’d smiled so shyly at Hyunjin and thanked him so profusely that Hyunjin had to physically stop him from bowing.
As they got older and no longer shared a dorm, it became rarer and honestly, Hyunjin hadn't thought much of it. They were growing up and even Feilx was a little less physically affectionate than he’d been when he was young. But then there would be a family dinner at Chan’s and everyone would pile onto and around the couch to watch a movie and Felix, more often than not would end up wedged in next to Hyunjin. They would whisper through the entire movie about nothing at all, just giddy to be together again until the others would threaten to turn the movie off if they didn’t shut up. And Hyunjin would bite his lip and throw his arm around the blond’s shoulders and pull him close like he was his favorite teddy bear and suddenly get this sharp ache right under his ribs whenever Felix would cuddle into his side because fuck he missed this. He missed having him just down the hall. He missed laying in bed and talking until the early morning hours, sometimes about silly, goofy things and sometimes about heavy shit that they’d never told anyone else. He missed wrapping Felix in his arms so effortlessly and drifting off to sleep and having that be such a normal occurrence.
Hyunjin shook his head with amusement because the idea that he’d truly convinced himself that what he felt for Felix had been friendship really did earn him the spot as leader of paboracha.
Sure, it had started as friendship. But it had gotten out of control fast. How could it not? Everyone loved Felix. He was impossible not to love. But Hyunjin…he just loved him a little bit more. Or a lot more.
But it didn’t matter because they were friends and that would always come first to him.
He’d found other ways to handle it. Ways to beat back the swelling tides of feelings and desires and want. Like working out. Or mediation. Or writing depraved Hyunlix fanfiction.
He avoided his own eyes in the mirror as he splashed a little water on his face and tried to clear the thoughts. He did not need to think about the chapter he’d been in the midst of writing when Felix showed up; not with the blond literally a dozen steps away and in his bed.
He opened the door, flicking off the too bright light and felt the warm, dull lighting of the hotel room take over. He padded out in his socked feet to the room and, sure enough, the blond was hugging his pillow and breathing evenly out of an open mouth. Asleep.
Hyunjin smiled. He couldn't help it. Felix was larger than life. When he was on stage, when he was performing, when he was on, his presence filled up the space, no matter how big. He eclipsed them all without even trying. But when he slept, he was the smallest, most private thing on the planet.
The taller man perched himself on the edge of the bed, hand reaching out slowly to thread some of that silky blond hair behind his tiny ear. This was why he didn’t want Felix to know about his needy, messy, filthy desires. Because having the privilege of seeing Felix like this? With his guard down and absolute trust? That would always be the most important thing to him. If he told Felix about his feelings and they weren’t returned, he ran the risk of losing this. The easy trust between them. The silent moments when the world was on the other side of the door and they were just Hyunnie and Lixie.
“Hyunjin-ah,” Felix sighed, rolling his head so he could peer up at Hyunjin with sleepy eyes. His lips pulled into a gentle smile and the brunette wondered if it might be one of those nights when, sleepy and feeling a bit touch starved from travel, Felix would ask if he could stay. Ask if Hyunjin could hold him like old times.
It destroyed him a little bit everytime but god, Hyunjin loved it. It was such a sweet, slow death to hold the man of your dreams close and toe the line between friendship and more.
The blond blinked slowly, his little hand unclenching from the pillow case to slide across the rumpled bedsheets. Towards Hyunjin. “Will you-”
The door opened with a thud and a sweaty Changbin came barreling in, airpods still in. He looked up to find Felix sleepily sitting up and broke into a wide grin. “Sunshine! When did you get in?” He strode forward, plucking his earbuds about and snapping them back into the case.
The blond stood up, scooping out a piece of Hyunjin’s heart, probably the part that held all his hope and smiled at his hyung. “Maybe an hour ago? I stopped by to eat with Hyunnie,” he said.
Changbin beamed at the empty dishes and shook his head with chagrin. “You two are so cute with your midnight breakfast bullshit.”
Felix giggled and Hyunjin, feeling moody and betrayed by his friends timing, mumbled, “It’s not bullshit,”
Changbin ignored the comment he definitely heard and started rummaging through his suitcase for a set of clean clothes. “Well, I’d hug you but I’m all sweaty and it looks like you could use some sleep.”
“Aw, you know I don’t care about that,” Felix said, stalking forward with a glint in his eyes as he nearly tackled Binnie into a hug, squeezing his biceps mercilessly. “Jesus, look at you! You’re so big!” He praised, giving Binnie’s arm a playful little bite that had Hyunjin’s head spinning with jealousy.
He wanted biceps bites.
Why did Lixie never bite his biceps? He’d worked so hard on them expressly for him, even though he’d never admit it to a soul.
“Yah, I thought you already ate with Hyunjin-ah!” Changbin giggled, halfheartedly shoving the blond away and smiling with big, round cheeks. He was delighted by the attention and Hyunjin sort of hated him for it.
The blond’s grin was interrupted by another yawn and he finally accepted defeat. He wished them both a good night and Hyunjin walked him to the door because it meant about three more seconds with him and yes, he was that desperate.
He closed the door behind Felix and instantly heard the snickering behind him.
Hyunjin was pretty sure that most of the members guessed he had a thing for Felix. Hell, he’d never been very good at hiding it. So much so that the company had had to explicitly tell them to cool it in front of the cameras. But Changbin was the only one he’d actually told that he had a crush.
“Sorry for interrupting. You should have texted me, I could have added a few more sets or a longer cooldown or something.”
“You weren’t interrupting,” Hyunjin clarified, grabbing a bottle of water to place on his bedside table.
Changbin gave him a flat look. “Dude, he was in your bed.”
“Please, you of all people know that that doesn’t mean anything. We’ve always been close. It doesn’t mean it was…was like that.”
“I don’t know why you’re so convinced it isn’t like that. Seriously, Jinnie, you should tell-”
“Bin,” Hyunjin interrupted, suddenly exhausted. “Can we not? It’s late.”
His friend searched his weary eyes for a few moments before giving a solid nod. “I’m gonna go take a shower.”
“Thank god,” Hyunjin joked, earning him a middle finger before Binnie disappeared into the bathroom.
Hyunjin smiled after him before groaning. He fell face first into the bed and took a long, deep inhale. The scent of Felix crashed through him. It was soft and warm. Hints of vanilla, something nearly woodsy, something grounding. He wasn’t totally sure. Maybe a new perfume? It didn’t matter what he wore thought because it all turned delicious the second it touched his skin and Hyunjin swore he could still smell a bit of Felix underneath it all. Something sweet and simple and so fucking craveable. He groaned lightly, taking another deep breath in and wondering what it would taste like if he licked the scent straight off his skin.
God, he was so pathetic. But that didn’t stop him from curling up around the pillow Felix had been gripped, pretending it was the blond himself and falling asleep.
*****
The problem with falling asleep with the smell of Felix in his head was that he woke up with a raging hard on and zero ability to take care of it because he had two rules. 1. Don’t jack off in a hotel room when you’re sharing it with a friend and 2. Don’t jack off to Felix. Ever. Because they were friends and it would be massively inappropriate to cross the line.
So he bargained and quietly crept out of bed to his laptop. He opened it, typing in his password and dove headfirst back into the chapter he’d been writing the night before.
Writing had always been something Hyunjin had enjoyed but he’d focused mostly on poetry or short stories. It wasn’t until the last year that he’d found himself getting roped into the world of fanfiction. He’d been a fan and had read for different fandoms throughout his life but he’d never tried his hand at writing it.
And then he’d discovered Hyunlix fanfiction and…wow. It was like every single fantasy he could have ever dreamt of (and new ones he’d never even considered) were laid out in black and white. He knew it was probably wrong to read about him and his best friend barebacking in every imaginable position but by then, he was desperate.
Because three years ago, when he’d finally realized that his feelings for Felix were not platonic, his body had realized it too. The dreams had started. Dreams filled with starry eyed Lixie, looking up at him and begging for him to go harder, faster. Dreams of Hyunjin, tied to a bed with Felix trailing those delicate fingers around and around and around his nipples until he was convinced he’d catch fire.
But the second those dreams popped up, so did the rules. His brain immediately trying to keep him in line and enforce some kind of order as everything spun out of control. He knew if he crossed that line, he’d lose control. He couldn't explain it and he was sure that writing about it was crossing a line too but at least it wasn’t physical. It felt like a fair compromise to keep his desires in check and to keep them from creeping into his real life.
So he packaged them up in nice little chaptered stories filled with smut. Anything and everything he dreamed of, anything he was curious about, anything that made his eyes go a little crossed when he imagined it, he wrote down.
His current story - Anything & Everything - was on chapter 19 and his readers were loving it. He read every comment, guiltily enjoying the praise for how well he wrote a desperate Hyunjin. After all, they always said to write what you know, right? And if there was one thing that Hyunjin knew, it was soul crushing desperation.
He finished the chapter and quickly read through it before posting. Feeling somehow both better and more tightly wound at the same time, he decided it was time to take a shower. Sure, they had a long dance practice ahead and he’d have to shower all over again later but he was hoping the warm water and replacing the air in his lungs with steam would be enough to cleanse out his filthy soul.
By the time he finished up, Changbin was just starting to roll himself out of bed, looking stiff and sore from his late night gym session.
“I’m going to grab some coffee, want me to get you some too?”
The shorter man let out some kind of grunt that Hyunjin took as a yes. He chuckled and pocketed his keycard before ducking out into the early morning hotel hallway. It was barren, only the sound of low, buzzing fluorescents filling the space until a door opened a few down and a giggling Jisung and Minho came tumbling out.
“Morning,” Hyunjin said softly, announcing himself before Jisung could overreact as he was prone to do. Which he still did but not as bad as it could have been.
The small brunette yelped, clinging to Minho’s arm like he was either ready to use him as a human shield or beg for protection. He visibly deflated when he saw who it was. “Oh, it’s just you.”
“Wow, thank you,” He deadpanned, falling into step with them regardless as they started to head for the elevator.
“Yongbokkie get in okay last night?” Minho asked. He’d always been protective of their sunshine in an almost mothering kind of way. It was sweet. And also had the ability to strike the fear of god into anyone who dared cross him.
Hyunjin nodded as he hit the button for the ground floor. “Yeah, he was tired but we got him fed.”
Minho nodded, pleased.
Jisung was yawning non-stop, clearly in need of more sleep but he followed along blearily, eyes lighting up when they entered the dining hall to see everyone’s favorite blond sitting at a table by himself, no doubt doomscrolling on his phone.
“Bbokie!” Jisung crowed, racing off with newfound energy to tackle his twin into a hug.
Felix clung back instantly, setting his phone down and giggling. “Good morning, Hannie.”
“How was it? Tell me everything! Did you like the outfit? Are they finally just going to let you wear a dress? Probably not, you’d overshadow all the other models th-”
“Jisungie, yah, let him breath,” Minho said, peeling his boyfriend off the giggling blond and giving him a gentle hug of his own. “Good to have you back, Yongbok. Did you sleep well?”
“Wish I could get a little more but yeah, it was good.” He glanced at Hyunjin with a pout. “Would have been better with some cuddles though.”
Hyunjin felt his face heat up and his throat closing. God, why did Felix have to be so cute? It wasn’t fair. Not when he was trying so hard to remember that Felix flirted with everyone. He was an affectionate guy who would bite his friends biceps (except Hyunjin’s) and give away massages and cheek kisses like they were free candy.
“Bbokie,” Jisung whined, utterly oblivious. “If you wanted cuddles you should have come and found me!”
“What about Minho?” Felix laughed.
“I’d kick him out,” Jisung said simply before getting a wicked little smile, “Or-”
“Hey!” Minho interrupted, pulling Jisung away by the ear. “Coffee. Now.”
Hyunjin huffed a laugh because Jisung offered to include Felix in he and Minho’s bed at least once a month. And every time, it ended with him getting hauled away physically by his boyfriend.
“Do you think this is like…some kind of weird foreplay for them?” Felix asked.
Hyunjin barked out a laugh. “I was just wondering the same thing.”
The blond giggled and finally looked away from their friend’s retreating forms to look up at Hyunjin with one of those warm, crinkly smiles that were always at their best first thing in the morning. “Good morning, Hyunnie,” He said softly.
“Good morning, Yongbokkie,” He replied, sitting down opposite him and relishing in the second of peace that was just them. It would be a long day of sharing him with every other member. Which was fine. But he still cherished these quiet moments that were just them. “Ready for dance practice today?” He asked with a smile that was immediately mirrored on Felix’s face.
“Yeah. I’m really enjoying the new choreo but I might need your help with some of the small isolations. Some of them aren’t sticking how I want them to.”
Hyunjin nodded, feeling that growing excitement for a day of dance. It was something he and Felix shared and had been one of the first things to draw them together. They’d always become a bit of a different beast when it came to dance. He remembered, back in their trainee days how the two of them would stay later than anyone else in the studio, working the smallest pieces of choreo over and over and over again until it was second nature.
Felix, his Korean still new and stunted, showed Hyunjin how to pour his emotions into his face, into his performance. How to carry himself with charisma. And Hyunjin, using the bits of English he knew, would slowly break down the more complex steps, walking him through the bits where his feet seemed to get tangled.
Even as virtual strangers, that had been easy. Because they were just two boys who were desperate to prove themselves and loved to dance more than anything.
He nodded, feeling that feral little excitement building. “You got it. Did you already eat?”
Felix shook his head, a little pink blush blooming over his cheeks. “No, not yet. I was distracted by my phone.” He admitted and Hyunjin just had to shake his head in fond irritation.
“Starting the brain rot early today, I see.” He joked as he stood. “Come on, let’s go get you some food. With the comeback just around the corner, I have a feeling Minho is going to work us into the ground today and you need to be properly fueled.”
The blond nodded resolutely and stood to walk over to the hotel buffet with him. He watched with relief to see Felix make himself a stack of waffles, drowned in maple syrup and fruit. He even asked Hyunjin to split a croissant with him.
They carefully walked their full plates back to the table where Jisung and Minho were in a full blown debate about something regarding the anime they’d been binging together. Hyunjin honestly couldn't keep up so he tucked himself into his food and enjoyed the steady warmth of the man next to him.
“Jin,”
He looked up to find a dripping forkful of waffle hovering in front of his face, Felix’s little hand cupped underneath to catch the rouge drips.
He leaned forwarded, accepting the bite and trying not to think about the little amber pearls of syrup on that little palm. The way he wanted to grab him by the wrist and yank him close. The way he wanted to stare him straight in the eyes and and kiss them away, letting the sugar dry on his lips so Felix could lick it off later.
He quickly turned his head, trying to hide his rising blush behind his hand as he chewed. “S’good,” He muttered.
“Right?” Felix agreed, taking a comically large bite of his own. “I love maple syrup. It’s the best thing to have ever been created.”
“Best thing?” Hyunjin challenged with a smile. “Ever?”
The blond nodded and took another bite as if to prove his point.
“Better than…the color blue?”
The blond nodded immediately, cheeks pooched out with food.
“Better thaaaaan…custom made keyboards?”
Felix’s eyes narrowed, like he was considering it briefly before saying, “Yup!”
“Hmmm,” It was time to pull out the big guns. “Better than Faker?”
The blond’s eyes widened. His perfect little lips popped into a circle like he hadn’t been expecting Hyunjin to go that far. “Hyunnie, that’s not fair,” He whined with a pout.
Hyunjin laughed, nudging his shoulder even as that stupid little jealousy that always filled his heart when he watched Felix fangirl over Faker, reared its head. “Better than me?” He questioned, because apparently he was a masochist.
But Felix instantly scoffed and rolled his eyes like the sheer notion of those words was utterly ridiculous at best, offensive at worst. “Please.”
Hyunjin froze.
“Please?”
“Of course my favorite person is better than maple syrup.”
Holy fucking shit.
Had…had Hyunjin just won against Faker?
Today would go down in history.
But Minho just had to butt in and ruin it with, "Congratulations, you’re better than tree sap and a guy he literally doesn’t know. Now come on, the cars should be here soon.”
Hyunjin would have grumbled a bit more under his breath had it not been for the fleeting pat to his shoulder and a quiet, “Come on favorite person, let’s get going.”
Hyunjin polished off the last of his omelet in a rush and raced back up to his room to grab his dance bag. Not ten minutes later, they got the text from Chan that the cars were ready and waiting to take them to the studio they’d rented for the day.
They had just made it back to Korea after wrapping up the DominATE tour but had pretty abruptly been thrown back into full schedules of interviews and filming and photoshoots in last minute prep for the impending comeback.
And Felix? Felix had been jetting off every other day, it seemed. He’d had meetings and fittings and photoshoots with Samsung, Hera Beauty, Louis Vuitton, Tamburins and plenty of other brands. Hyunjin couldn't keep them all straight at this point.
Every single person on planet earth wanted a piece of their Yongbok and he couldn't blame them.
The makanes shoved Felix into one of the cars, the hyung line getting into the second one and en route to their destination. Thankfully, the commute didn’t take long and they were piling out and into the studio in under fifteen minutes.
One thing that Hyunjin loved about being a dancer was that no matter where he was in the world, a dance studio always felt like home to him. Walking on those waxed and polished floors, running through their warmups? It was so familiar and comforting. Even Minho’s intense drills and ability to catch every single flaw in a routine at once was weirdly comforting in a way.
And he knew Felix and Minho felt the same because he could see it in their eyes. The way they sparkled ferally, even as they breathed heavily and downed water like they'd spent the last 24 hours in a desert. Even after the twelfth run through when their limbs were somehow both heavy and soft, shaky and leaden.
He lived for days like this.
By lunch time, they were all in need of a break and lunch was ordered for them. Seungmin was passed out on the floor, already snoring and Binnie was trying and failing to cuddle up to Jeongin on the sofa along the wall. Hyunjin laid himself out on the floor, loving the feel of his heartbeat bouncing between the floor and his ribs over and over. It was finally starting to slow when he felt a weight press down on his stomach and he lifted his head enough to find Felix’s head resting on him. He was laying perpendicular on the floor, using Hyunjin as his pillow.
“Good work today, Hyunnie,” He said, his voice gravely from all the hyped up yelling he’d been doing. The man was a machine. He could dance for hours, the smile never leaving his face. And it was so goddamn attractive to Hyunjin.
He felt his heart pick up just a little but he smiled and let his head thump back on the floor, resuming counting the ceiling tiles. “You too, angel.” He smiled to himself.
To everyone else, he was Felix. He was Yongbok, Yongbokkie, Feelbok, Sunshine, the list went on and on but to Hyunjin and only for Hyunjin, he was angel.
He swore he could hear the smile coming from the blond as they both worked on slowing their breathing.
The peace didn’t last though as Chan clapped his hands, announcing that food had arrived and, after lunch, they’d be getting right back to it.
Hyunjin sat shoulder to shoulder with Felix on the floor as they inhaled lettuce wraps and rice, enjoying having that little warmth next to him again. He’d only been away for a few days but it always left behind a noticeable void. They were a group of eight, after all. But even beyond that, Hyunjin thought that he might be only half a person at this point. And when the other half left, he felt it.
Sure enough, just as promised, once lunch was over, they warmed back up and got straight back into it. It was really coming together and Hyunjin was so proud of his members but he saw that hungry little edge in Felix’s smile. The one that wanted to keep going. Wanted to keep perfecting every last movement, every last step.
So when dinner time rolled around and Chan announced they were done for the day, Hyunjin was not at all surprised when Felix floated up to his side, asking shyly but steadily if Hyunjin would mind hanging back with him so they could work on those isolations that were still bothering him.
He had nodded with a smile and caught Chan as everyone packed their things.
“Hey, Lix and I are going to hang back for a bit, keep working.”
Chan frowned but there wasn’t any kind of heat behind it. After all, this was nearly a tradition for the two at this point. They’d been doing it for years. Sometimes, Minho would hang back with them but nowadays, Jisung would insist he join him for dinner and Minho was nothing if not a softie for his boyfriend.
“Don’t stay too late, okay?” Chan cautioned instead, eyes drifting over Hyunjin’s shoulder to watch as Felix stretched his back carefully. “And make sure he doesn’t push it too much.” He added.
Hyunjin clapped him on the shoulder and nodded.
Everyone filtered out, not in the least bit surprised that he and Felix were staying later. It was common for them to continue practicing after everyone else left. But what they didn’t know was that there was just a little bit more to it. One other little special thing they shared in empty dance studios after the sun had set.
Felix looked over at Hyunjin with a determined smile in place. “Okay, first? Isolations on the pre-chorus of Ceremony. Then? I want to see what you’ve been working on, Hyunjin-ah.”