Work Text:
By the time they get to the motel, Wolfwood is in a foul mood.
He opens the door of their room and roughly pushes Vash inside, ignoring his fumbling and complaints and then enters himself and closes the door with a too rough smack.
Vash settles on one of their beds after he shucks his coat off, meanwhile Nick avoids looking at him all together in fear of snapping and starting something he will inadvertently regret.
He shuffles around the room aimlessly, pats his jacket pockets for a cigarette (he finds one loose in his pants pocket) and grumbles when he looks down at himself.
His shirt is ruined beyond repair, whole left side is stained with blood (not his blood, not Vash’s blood either, thankfully) and has a rip that he doubts will be salvageable.
He rummages in his things for a lighter for a moment and breathes a tired sigh when he finds it finally.
He brings his hands to his face to light the cigarette in his mouth which is the moment Vash decides to speak.
"Are you mad at me?"
Nick pauses with the fire not yet flicked on for a moment, completely dumbfounded.
Finally he lowers his hand that holds the lighter and takes the cigarette out of his mouth.
"Am I mad at you?" He asks incredulously, eyes staring at Vash in mild shock.
The blond idiot on the bed gives a sharp nod, eyes serious but also pleading and his eyebrows pinched up.
He can’t help the bitter laugh that escapes his throat, surprising even himself.
"Spikey. I am fucking furious."
Vash says nothing but his frown deepens.
"Don't look so confused. You know why I'm pissed." Nick says and puts the cig back between his lips.
Vash stays silent, his frown only deepening as he stares at Nick with his piercing, blue gaze.
"Not gonna say anything?" Wolfwood taunts as he speaks around his unlit cigarette.
"Nothing I say will make you not mad at me." Vash's voice is quiet, almost small and it carries a hint of his own anger but the main emotion Nick can discern from it is guilt.
Which should be a good thing. The blond bane of his existence should feel guilty for being a reckless dumbass. It should make Nick feel satisfied and smug.
But it only makes him angerier.
"Damn straight it won't. But you know what would?"
"What?" Vash asks, his eyebrows smoothing out and Nick hates how it makes him think of a sun shyly peeking from behind the clouds. Always so eager to please.
He really needs to stop thinking about Vash like this. It's not smart, it's not healthy and it's definitely not safe for him nor for anyone else.
It will only run him into an early grave. An even earlier one that the one foretold him in the first place.
"You not playing the hero and trying to save every scumbag that tries to sell you out at every opportunity." He jabs his cigarette in Vash's direction.
Vash just stares at him, face stoic but also somehow conveying this sort of expression that he sometimes gets when Wolfwood scolds him exactly like this. Like it just washes over him but he lets Nick say whatever he wants as if it would make an impression on him to change his ways.
Of course Nicholas shouldn't even care about Vash changing his ways and for most of the time he tries to pretend it's only because Vash is just such an annoying idiot that gets under his skin at every opportunity and because their philosophies clash that much it just spurs him on to argue with him to try and change his mind in principle.
And Nicholas tries not to dig too deep why he wants Vash to change his mind in the first place. That particular can of worms is better left unopened.
"It's like talking to a wall. I don't know why I bother." Nick grumbles and puts the smoke back into his mouth but doesn't even bother to light it anymore. It's better to have something in his mouth so he doesn't say more unnecessary shit.
"I hate when you treat me like a child." Vash complaints.
"That's because you're a fucking brat."
"I am older than you." Vash protests.
"And still act like a dumbass. All that age and experience on your shoulders and nothing to show for it." Nick retorts.
Vash stays silent, his expression stormy again.
"Well? Say something? Anything?"
"I don't know what would be the point. But if you need to vent out on me, go ahead."
And that...that just makes his blood boil.
"Oh, of course you would say this. Ever the martyr, ready to self sacrifice for any piece of shit that passes you by."
Vash's gaze softens slightly and Nick feels like he's gonna puke for some reason.
"You're not a piece of shit, Wolfwood." He says it so softly with so much compassion and feeling in any other circumstances Nick would feel that familiar flip in his gut and a tingle in his limbs that he would need to walk off and scoff at Vash's mushy words.
But circumstances are different and Nick just sees red.
"Then act like it, asshole." He rolls the cigarette in his hand before shoving it back into his pocket. He won't waste it by crushing it from anger at Blondie. These things are expensive.
"What?" Vash sounds confused, eyebrows again pinching at his forehead.
"Spikey, they almost shot you point blank today."
"I had it covered." Vash drops his gaze to the floor, almost shamefully.
"Bullshit."
"I did."
"Bullshit!" Nick yells, feeling a vein pop on his forehead. "And I don't care if you did. When I see you almost get cleaved in half I will react and kill the motherfucker."
"That wasn't necessary."
There's a pause where they just stare at each other before Nick snorts and lets out a bitter chuckle.
"You're like this with everyone aren't you?"
Vash cocks his head to the side.
"What do you mean?"
"You just don't care do you?" Slowly the anger overflows and Nick is aware he will snap, like an armband pulled taunt, and he knows there's nothing he can do to stop it.
He’s so out of control.
"What?"
"You don't care who you save and you don't care who hurts you. You just see us all the same. Small, little insignificant life forms that you will outlive anyway. No point in getting attached to them but you don't understand what that does to people who care about you don’t you? Because you just see all of us the same."
"How can you say that?" Vash looks and sounds honestly affronted for Wolfwood to even suggest such a thing.
"Because I see every fucking day how you don't care how I'll feel when something happens to you!"
Damn it. Nick thinks as he feels himself shake and tremble. So much for any restraint and tucking away his actual feelings.
"I-"
"Just admit it." He snaps, not able to stop his mouth from speaking.
Vash’s frown is so deep it might as well be permanent and Wolfwood hates how it mars his otherworldly, pretty features but he also can’t help and barrel further into the argument.
It makes him feel bad but it’s also cathartic and his whole being shakes with the feeling of his body and soul letting out all the frustration stored in from the past few months.
"No. I do care about you Wolfwood. But I-"
"But you won't do the one thing I ask you to do."
Vash stands up briskly from the bed and it takes him only a couple of wide strides of his long legs to find himself nose to nose and chest to chest with Nicholas.
"You throw yourself into danger as much as I do." He says, voice unusually low, all the airy and wispy tones gone. Vash is also pissed.
"I do it for you." Nick spits out his feelings as if they’re acid.
"I didn't ask for it." Vash retorts, slicing though Nick’s heart just like that.
"I don't care!" Nick snaps and if not for his heightened reflexes he would have missed the swing Vash takes at him.
He almost does anyway but the thin wrist he grabs in his hand that was supposed to deliver the punch to his face pauses just inches away from its target.
Nick glances at his arm and of course it’s the flesh one. Even in his anger when he’s prone to violence Vash is still considered to him.
It pisses Nick off even more.
"Oho. Is our pacifist here trying to start a brawl? With the tiny, puny human he supposedly cares about?" Nick taunts as he grips Vash’s flesh arm tighter when he tries to shake him off.
Vash’s prosthetic grasps the lapel of his jacket and shakes him then.
"That's right. Get angry with me, Spikey. Tell me how you really feel."
"You piss me off so much Wolfwood."
"The feeling's mutual." Is the last thing Nick says before there’s a pause and then they clash their lips together in an angry, unpleasant kiss.
Despite that they paw at each other desperately; Vash’s hands both sink in Nick’s hair and pull hard and it hurts but fuck does it feel good too.
Nick grasps fistfuls of Vash’s shirt and kisses him hard, basically biting at his lips until Vash pulls his mouth away with a pained whine.
Nick uses that to latch his mouth to Vash’s pale neck and bite him there, eliciting a rough, surprised gasp from him.
Vash goes taunt and then boneless and Nick wastes no time in walking him back until the back of Vash’s legs hit the bed and Nick pushes him down roughly.
He climbs over Vash, still biting him everywhere he can. Vash is not far behind and gives back as good as he gets, sucking in Nick’s tongue into his mouth and scraping his teeth over it, making Nick groan and press him even harder to the bed.
Vash hooks his ankles over Nick’s and that alerts him immediately.
“Oh no you don’t.” He growls against Vash’s mouth and before Vash can flip them over and straddle him, Nick is faster and uses a moment of horny distraction to flip Vash onto his front.
“You think you’re so smart?” Nick asks as he grabs Vash’s flailing arms and pins them behind his back.
Vash kicks his legs and Nick sits across the back of his tights, effectively pinning Vash to the bed.
He puts all his weight into it, pressing Vash down with his whole body.
Suddenly Vash goes still when Nick’s hardness presses hotly against Vash’s thigh.
They both stay still; Nick grips Vash’s arms even tighter while Vash breathes hard against the bed.
Suddenly Nick laughs, surprising even himself.
"You see what you do to me? I'm so messed up because of you, Spikey." His hips move on their own accord and he rubs his clothed dick over Vash’s leg.
Vash gasps in shock and his whole body trembles at the first drag.
By the fifth he tries to rock back against and Nick almost chokes on his spit.
"Hnn, Wolfwood." He groans into the bedding under him, hips rutting up unsuccessfully.
"Shut up." Nick breathes hard. He takes both of Vash’s wrists in one hand while he uses the other to pull Vash’s pants down along with his underwear.
Vash squirms when cold air hits his bare skin and Nick briefly feels his blood boil both from arousal and anger when he sees that Vash even has scars on his ass and between his legs, vining up into his most intimate parts.
He breathes hard through his nose and stills his emotions for now. He licks his pointer and index finger with a broad swipe of his tongue, slides lower on the back of Vash’s legs and presses two fingers between the space of Vash’s legs.
"Wolf-Oh!" Vash yelps when he feels the digits jam into his cunt.
"What the fuck." Nick breathes when he sinks to the last knuckle, resistance free. Vash is wet and hot and soft, his cunt pulses around his fingers and he drips. "Do you get on this? Danger? Getting shot? Almost dying? Or on being a martyr."
"Hnn, no." Vash whines in protest.
"Then what?" Nick asks as he starts to rhythmically pump his fingers in and out of Vash’s core.
"Hnn, it's...you." Vash whines and writhes under him, his hips undulating weakly.
"What?" Nick stills surprised. Vash gives a weak buck of his body and whines when Nick doesn’t resume.
"It's you. Just you." Vash admits shamefully and when he turns his head to the side, there are tears in his eyes.
Nick almost comes like this.
"Damn it Spikes, You're even more messed up than me." He says and distracts himself by returning to moving his fingers.
Vash moans and tries to spread his legs wider and get Wolfwood to slip his finger deeper into him.
"Fuck. You're not supposed to enjoy this." Nick says as he does as Vash wants. In the end he’s powerless to deny him anything.
"Hnn, Can't help it. I always...wanted...it, ah. You. Wanted you."
"You want me?" Nick asks incredulously.
"Yes."
"Say it again. You want me?"
"Yes."
"Again!"
"Yes!" Vash yells and thrashes under him.
"Fuck." Nick swears and lets go of Vash’s wrists and withdraws his fingers from Vash’s cunt, making him sob at the loss.
“Nick.” Before Vash can form a full sentence he has already pulled out his cock from his pants and boxers and after stroking himself to full hardness pushes into Vash’s cunt.
They both gasp at the first contact. Vash’s hands fist into the rumpled sheets and he moans loudly.
Nick leans over Vash, pressing him with his full body and grinds into him. He buries his face in Vash’s shoulder and groans into his shirt as his hips snap.
It’s not a very good angle but Nick refuses to pull away from Vash to get a better grip and drive into him in smoother rolls. He still sits astride his tights and the position limits his movements.
Vash whimpers at every grind into his cunt, pinned and unable to move even though he could throw Nick off at any moment and Nick knows that.
“Nick, Nick, Nick.” Vash groans into the mattress, legs kicking, his boots knocking over the bed where his long legs dangle above the ground. He’s not even properly on the bed, they’re not even fully undressed.
This is not how Nick thought this would go if he was brave enough to admit that he was ever thinking about it.
And boy was he thinking about it.
But he can’t do that after all. He wasn’t even supposed to admit how Vash’s stupid martyrdom made him feel in the first place.
And yet. Here they were.
“You drive me crazy.” Nick groans into Vash’s ear. He intended it to mean that he pissed him off beyond reason, but it comes off as needy and breathy and Vash moans, his cunt clenching hard around Nick’s cock and he spills inside him with a pained groan.
“Ah thank...thank you, thank you.” Vash moans, his body shuddering around Wolfwood and that finally sobers him up.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Runs around Nick’s head as he pulls away from Vash and scrambles off the bed, almost falling off, legs tangled in his pants.
He pulls them up along with his boxers and tucks himself in haphazardly and then hides his face in his hands.
He heaves a shaky breath.
"Goddamn."
"Wolfwood? Nick?" Vash’s voice is small and when Wolfwood drops his hands he’s sitting on the bed, hair mussed, pants around his ankles as he tries to kick his shoes off his feet, toes of one boot hooked over the heel of the other.
"What?" Nick snaps, feeling his eyes sting suddenly. He looks around before he grabs his bag from a random corner of the room. He turns around to the door, The Punisher already waiting for him there.
"What are you doing?" Vash asks, eyebrows pinched and his shoes finally fall to the floor with a loud thud. After that he shucks off his pants and underwear.
"What does it look like I'm doing? Spikey.” Nick can’t even look at him. “I’m leaving."
"Why?"
Nick whips around to stare at Vash in shock.
"The fuck you mean why. After I just did to you? Hurt you like this?" He feels panicked as bile rises from his stomach into his throat.
Vash’s eyes turn big and soft around the edges from shock.
"But you didn't?...I wanted it. I said so."
Nick drops his bag and runs a hand through his hair.
"It's not just that Spikey. It's all of it."
“All of it?”
“Yeah. All of it. The whole…” He gestures between them. “It doesn’t work.”
"Oh." Vash looks dejected, his whole inner light dimming instantly.
"Don't...look at me like that." Nick protests when Vash raise his big, puppy eyes at him and they are shimmering with tears and fuck.
"Sorry."
"Vash." Nick sighs.
"I'm sorry." Vash repeats louder, his voice already thick and choking on a sob. "If you need to...want to leave, do it."
He sniffles pathetically.
“I won't stop you.” He says through his nose.
Nick is silent for a few seconds of Vash’s sad sniffles.
“For fucks sake.” Nick snaps. “Can you just be selfish and honest for one time in your life?”
Vash looks at him, his face wet as tears stream down his cheeks.
“I can't.”
“Why?” Nick asks, taking a tentative step towards the bed.
“Because being here doesn't make you happy.” Vash says through his tears, and wipes his cheek over his shoulder.
“The fuck do you know what does and doesnt make me happy.” Nick grumbles but he’s already away from the door and within arm's length. Vash only needs to reach out for him.
But Vash only looks at him, silently crying.
“Well? Say it. Do you want me to stay? Cause i will stay. If you want me.” And goddamn it, he means it. Truly.
Vash shakes his head.
“Goddamn it, say it.” Nick orders and as with before Vash gives in.
“Please.”
“Please what?” Nick takes another step just when Vash is reaching out for him.
“Please stay with me. I don't want to be alone.”
It’s enough for Nick to get back on the bed and pull the crying blond into his lap, ignoring the mess he makes of his clothes. He cradles his head in his hands and rocks him like he would a child.
“I’ll stay. I will. I promise.” He says pressing a kiss to Vash's sweaty temple.
Vash lets himself cry but soon calms down as Nick rocks him back and forth and murmurs comforting words into his hair.
They end up in a pile of limbs, Vash tucked between Nick’s arms and legs, head pillowed on his chest as he runs his fingers over Nick’s jacket.
“No chance for you to change and become less sacrificial?” Nick asks suddenly as he plays with Vash’s stray, blond lock.
“Sorry.” Vash admits with a little husky laugh, his voice rough from crying.
“It's fine.” Nick says and presses another firm kiss to the crown of Vash’s head. It really isn’t but what is he supposed to do? Start another argument? He’s too tired for that.
“It's just who I am.” Vash admits after a longer moment of silence.
“I know Spikey. I know.” Nick rubs his shoulder.
“I promise I’ll be more careful though.”
Nick’s lips quirk briefly. He sincerely doubts that.
“I'll take it.”