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Two weeks until Sinsmas
The morning Blitzø turned on the television and saw Verosika on 666 News promoting her annual Sinsmas single (this year titled: "Deck your Balls (Off)"), he almost burst into tears.
Because that meant it was two weeks until Sinsmas. Which meant, more importantly, he had two weeks left to find his boyfriend a Sinsmas gift.
And he was losing his goddamn mind over it.
It was all Moxxie's fault, as per. He had to go and suggest exchanging gifts at the last IMP meeting, even though they'd never taken part in that tradition brought in from sinners. Sinsmas wasn't about being fucking nice; it was about indulging in whatever the Hell you wanted without any consequences! He'd been arguing this point aggressively when Stolas spoke up:
"I think it's a lovely idea. After all, it will be our first Sinsmas together as a…real couple." He'd glanced at him with his adorable as fuck face, all naive and cute. "I'd love to find a gift for you, dearest."
And so, because he was fucking whipped for that bird, he relented. Everyone else was easy to buy for; Loona wanted booze, he got Moxxie a ticket to some lame-ass musical, and Millie asked for a new weapon to take out on the field.
That just left Stolas.
And look, it's not like he didn't have ideas; Stolas was a walking charity case, for Satan's sake - the bird only had a small drawer full of clothes to his name and a few plants he'd bought with his own money, so getting him literally anything would be a win. But that was the entire fucking problem! He didn't wanna get him something he could just pick up at a store whenever he pleased, like clothes or books or that bubble bath which made his bird puss smell like roses. No, it had to be thought out, personal…something Stolas would never consider buying for himself.
Frustratingly, this left him lost for ideas; he scoured multiple websites looking for inspiration, but nothing matched the vibe he was going for. Then, one night, Stolas commented over dinner that he had found the perfect Sinsmas gift for him, beaming so proudly because he'd wrapped it all by himself (…with Loona's help) and how excited he was for him to open it. Knowing Stolas had found him a present just stressed him out even more!
Time was running out, and he was getting desperate. So, against his own morals, he decided to bring in reinforcements.
One week until Sinsmas
"Ooh, what about a cute hat?" Millie pointed out yet another item of clothing. He shrugged.
"Nah, doesn't have holes for his top eyes."
"A scarf?"
"He's got like four scarves already."
"Mkay," Millie pondered. "Oooh! How about a backpack for work? Aaaaand," her eyes lit up, "Something to carry in it!" She held out a small notebook.
"Hmm, not a bad shout." Stolas did need another one, having filled his previous journal with smutty erotic writing. "But isn't that more of a gift you'd get from an acquaintance?"
Millie sighed, clearly getting exasperated, and he couldn't blame her. This was the fourth store they'd been into that afternoon, traipsing through the chaos of other hellborns and sinners scurrying around trying to find last-minute presents for their own loved ones. They'd wandered around this department store three times already, so they had no fucking clue what they had and hadn't seen. Millie put the notebook back on the shelf.
"Okay, new idea. Instead of gettin' him a specific thing, you buy him a gift card! That way he can pick whatever he likes!"
“Christ on a stick, that just screams ‘I had absolutely no idea what to get you.’” He threw his hands in the air. “Merry Sinsmas to my darling boyfriend—behold, a twenty-dollar gift card to Whackdonalds,” he shouted, voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Hey! I am just tryna help!" Millie shouted back.
"Fuck me!" He kicked a discarded hand towel out of the way with his boot. "Why is this so fucking hard!" He banged his head on a nearby clothes rail in despair.
"Aww, you're puttin' too much pressure on yourself," Millie patted his shoulder. "I think Stolas would be happy with whatever you get him; he seems quite easy to please."
"Pfft, in bed maybe," he muttered. "Let's get outta here. If I have to listen to another rendition of Satan, Baby by that porn star spider, I'll fucking commit."
Unsuccessful yet again, he drove Millie home, wallowing in his own self-hatred for the Sinsmas season. Passing by the decorations and lights lining the streets of Pride made him want to ram his van into the next available wall.
"I know! What about a bike?" Millie piped up from the passenger seat.
"A bike? Do they make bikes big enough for lamp-post-sized demons?"
"I dunno, but it'd be cute! Moxxie and I used to go on bike rides and have a picnic at a park and…" as Millie began recounting another one of her and Moxxie's disgustingly adorable dates, he felt himself sinking lower and lower into his seat.
"Fuck my life."
Two days until Sinsmas
"Blitzø, you comin'?"
Blitzø glanced up from the computer screen. Moxxie and Millie were standing over his desk. His tail swished in agitation beside his chair.
"Ugh, can't you see I'm busy, Moxx?"
"You're on Mammazon," he commented pointedly.
"Oh, well done, you can fucking read!"
"Sir, you were the one who said we had to get this hit done today or the client wouldn't pay us!"
That was true, but then Stolas had left the office to buy more milk, so he had to use the short amount of time to search for literally anything he could get him for Sinsmas. He hated that he was resorting to buying some overpriced shit on Mammazon, but they had next-day shipping, and it was down to the fucking wire.
"Alright, just gimme one more minute!" He turned his attention back to the screen. "Now, do I go for the eighteen-inch or the twenty-four…"
"A what now?" Moxxie rounded the desk and groaned. "Oh, a ruler?"
“Get your head out of the gutter, Moxx! Secretaries need rulers, right?” He looked up at his two friends hopefully, searching for approval, but all he found were expressions of pity.
"I…well…" Moxxie stammered.
"Fuck! Alright, new plan: you pick somethin', and I'll buy whatever it is!" He shoved back his chair and yanked Moxxie into the space.
Moxxie hesitated for a second, looking to Millie. She gave him a look, one Blitzø couldn't interpret, but he then did join him at the computer.
"Hmm…Stolas. What would Stolas like…" He thought out loud. He tapped the mouse a few times.
"Aha! I know!" He typed in something, clicked a few buttons, and swiveled around the monitor.
"A…ukulele? The fuck?"
"He's a musical guy, maybe he'd like to learn a new instrument!" Moxxie grinned excitedly.
"Fuck no, I don't need more sounds to drown out. I already have to listen to their perverted sex noises," Loona spoke up from the couch.
"Satan's ass crack, I hate Sinsmas!" he yelled, so fucking done with his stupid employees and smart-ass daughter. He made for the door.
"Where are you going?" Moxxie called after him.
"To jump out of the fucking window," he muttered.
"Okay, but could you do it quietly?" Loona deadpanned.
That night, he lay awake on the couch, sleep refusing to come, listening to the soft, comforting hoots of his boyfriend sleeping behind him. Stolas's arms were wrapped around him, warm and possessive, like he was his own personal teddy bear. He let out a despondent sigh.
Fuck. He knew he was overthinking this Sinsmas gift thing, but there was so much riding on it. Last Sinsmas was, for lack of a better word, a complete shitshow. Stolas had been at the lowest point of his life, while Blitzø had been riding higher than ever. His gaze drifted to the window, then out to the balcony beyond, his chest tightening with a bittersweet mix of sadness and joy as memories surfaced: their Sinsmas dance, that fleeting moment when all their worries fell away. The world had been crumbling around them, yet for that brief stretch of time, when it was just the two of them, he'd never felt so fucking happy.
They’d changed so much over the past year, Stolas most of all. Learning, stumbling, slowly figuring out what it meant to live in the “real” world for the first time. Fuck, he loved him, so fucking much it was kinda disgusting. He cared about him more than any other demon (aside from Loona, of course). In fact, he had so much love to give, it was hard to put into words, let alone a physical item, that could show Stolas just how much he meant to him!
Then, all at once, it hit him. He knew what he had to do.
Sinsmas morning
“You know,” Loona muttered, “I think I preferred single and moody Blitzø compared to whatever the fuck…this version of him is.”
“Shh! He’ll hear you!” Blitzø whisper-shouted. “Now hurry up before Stolas gets out of the bathroom!”
Loona was begrudgingly helping him put the final touches on his Sinsmas gift to Stolas, helping set everything up so it would be waiting for him once he finished getting ready for the day. Fuck, this was possibly the best idea he'd ever had, a stroke of pure genius that he'd come up with, just in the nick of time, too. He hoped Stolas liked it!
“Ow! Fuck—do you have to be so rough?” Blitzø hissed as a red ribbon tightened sharply around his waist.
Loona growled. “I’ll use it to strangle your neck if you don’t shut the fuck up.”
The sound of pattering footsteps and rustling fabric from the bathroom froze them both.
“Shit—he’s coming! Cover me!”
Loona let out a long, drawn-out sigh, but complied, yanking the final sheet of wrapping paper up and over his face, plunging him into darkness.
"Okay, how do I look?" he asked.
"Like someone who needs a mental health assessment," Loona murmured.
"Loonie! Come on, it's Sinsmas, don't be a dick!" he whined. "Just tell me if I need to scootch closer to the tree."
A sigh. "No, you're fine, Dad," she replied softly, and he could almost hear her shaking her head at him in despair. Oh well, that was his job as dad, right? To embarrass his kid in every way possible.
Then, the bathroom door creaked open, and the room fell silent. He heard the familiar click of claws against the floor as Stolas stepped out—then stopped short.
“…Wha—what is…” Stolas stammered.
“I just want you to know,” Loona said. “I had no part in this.”
The footsteps got closer, until Blitzø felt a soft claw trace along the outline of his face through the paper.
“Blitzø?”
“Heyyy, Stols! Merry Sinsmas!” Blitzø’s voice came out muffled, and suddenly the paper felt way too close. He tried to wriggle his arms, but Loona had tied him up extremely tightly. He wondered if this was how Stolas felt when they used the bear traps.
Stolas laughed then, his real laugh. The deep one, the kind that crinkled his eyes and usually came with a blush. “What is going on?”
“You gotta open your Sinsmas gift, birdie!” Blitzø said. “Oh—but read the tag first!”
“The tag?” Stolas repeated, then he felt a sharp tug on his shoulder. “Oh!”
“What's it say?" he asked.
"To Stols. Happy Sinsmas. Love, Blitzø," Stolas read the tag out loud.
The paper tore, and, thank Satan, he was able to see again. Stolas was crouched down next to him as Loona watched on from behind.
“So,” Stolas said carefully, eyes darting over his wrapped-up body, “you’re giving me… yourself for Sinsmas?”
Loona pinched the bridge of her nose. “I knew this was gonna turn into some weird sex thing.”
“It is NOT a sex thing!” Blitzø snapped. “Satan, can I get through one heartfelt moment without being accused of being a perv?!”
He cleared his throat dramatically, turning his attention back to his boyfriend. "Look, I spent weeks trying to find you the perfect gift. Went to every store in a ten-mile radius, searched every goddamn website. I was losing my damn mind.”
“And then I realized. The best gift I could give you wasn’t something expensive or shiny or able to fit inside your bird puss.”
Loona made a gagging sound.
“What I’m trying to say is —my gift is me. My heart. My support. Whatever the fuck you need—because…I love you, Stols. Like. A lot. So…yeah. I hope this will do."
He looked up at him, nerves awaiting Stolas's reaction.
Stolas gasped, the hopeless romantic, his pupils dilating into little specks. "Oh, darling, you are so sweet! Yes, thank you!" He leaned down and pressed a gentle, chaste kiss to his lips.
Blitzø grinned. “You sure? You’re not, like…secretly pissed I didn’t get you something normal?”
Stolas only hummed in response as he reached for the ribbon, tugging it loose. He felt instant relief as the bow slipped free and the rest of the wrapping paper cascaded to the floor, pooling around his feet.
“I could never be disappointed in you, Blitzø,” Stolas said warmly. “Not when I can see how much thought you put into all of this.”
Finally freed, Blitzø kicked the remaining paper aside and launched himself straight into Stolas’s waiting arms.
“Good,” Blitzø muttered into his chest, “because I did get you a backup Dankee candle, but that thing smelled so good I kinda, sorta, maybe took a bite.”
Stolas gently pushed him back, staring at him in stunned silence. He braced himself for the oncoming lecture about the potential danger of wax poisoning.
“…What flavor?” Stolas asked instead, eyes gleaming with mischief.
Blitzø smirked. “Peppermint Bark Truffle.”
They burst out into laughter, then met for another, deeper kiss.
“For fuck's sake, you idiots do deserve each other." Loona sighed.
"Hah! Merry Sinsmas, everyone!" Blitzø cheered, pulling Loona into a group hug.
"Yeah, yeah, where's my beer?"