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“Cas, why is she crying?” Dean asked, bouncing the baby in his arms with a concerned look on his face. Cas’s mouth turned up a bit at the corners as he took the dark-haired infant from his husband’s arms.
The baby immediately stopped crying, unscrunching her face to blink up at Cas with big green eyes. “Dammit. She likes you better,” Dean griped, slipping an arm around Cas’s waist and looking down at their daughter.
“No, she just doesn’t like the flannel on her skin,” Cas explained, as the baby nuzzled closer against his tie. Dean pouted for a moment, then left his husband and daughter to go back to their bedroom.
A few minutes later, he came back to the living room, to find Cas giving Mary her bottle. Cas’s eyes flicked up, and a smile spread more fully across his face. “You changed,” he commented, tilting the bottle so Mary could get the last of her formula.
Dean held out his arms for the baby, and Cas happily passed her over. Mary blinked at the motion, but a few moments later she was curling into Dean’s chest, making those tiny mewling noises she made when she was falling asleep. Dean started to hum under his breath, gently rocking her back and forth.
Cas chuckled, and then spoke when Dean glanced at him questioningly. “Smoke on the Water?” Cas laughed quietly, coming to put his arms around Dean’s waist from behind and putting his chin on Dean’s shoulder. “You’re raising our daughter on Deep Purple?”
“Is that a problem?” Dean asked, but he switched the tune.
“Led Zeppelin is hardly an improvement, Dean,” Cas joked, giving Dean a pleased kiss on the cheek. Dean scoffed, trying not to jostle Mary too much as he did so.
“Stairway to Heaven is always an improvement,” Dean replied without missing a beat. Mary made a noise in her sleep and they both froze, silently willing her to stay asleep.
She was so tiny, small for her age, but the doctor wasn’t worried, he said it was perfectly normal and that she’d grow just fine. Still, Dean fretted over it, and kept trying to get her to drink more formula than she wanted to. Cas would just smile patiently, and remind him that not everyone exploded into moosedom like Sam had. Dean would agree, but still try and sneak extra formula into her bottle when Cas wasn’t looking.
Dean had taken really well to being a dad, becoming even a little overprotective –or a lot overprotective, depending on whom you asked– of the tiny girl. He shuddered to think what he was going to be like when she started walking or– oh, God, dating. He actually shuddered.
“What was that about?” Cas asked. Dean grimaced, but only shook his head.
“Let’s put her to bed,” Dean suggested, before Cas would press him for details. He didn’t want to dwell on the future, where this perfect moment would be just a memory. He wanted to just live in this moment forever, with his little family wrapped up in the joy of an easy naptime. Cas nodded, stepping away and down the hall towards the bedroom all three of them shared.
Dean followed suit, making his footsteps slow and even to keep Mary asleep. By the time he reached the bedroom, Cas had pulled a warm baby blanket –a gift from Amelia when they’d confirmed the adoption– from a dresser drawer and was settling it in the crib.
Cas turned and smiled, stepping to the side to let Dean settle their daughter into the crib, pausing the pull the blanket up around her chin so she wouldn’t get cold. Dean hovered over the crib, and Cas stayed by his side, waiting for Dean to say what was on his mind.
“What- Cas, what if I’m not good at this?” Dean asked, leaning on the crib and looking down at Mary. “This whole parent thing. I mean, I had Bobby, but I mean… I don’t know what I’m doing here, Cas.”
His husband stared at Dean intently for a moment before wrapping him a hug. Cas buried his face in Dean’s neck before answering. “You are going to be the best father.” Dean realized he was clinging to Cas like a lifeline, like he was the only thing keeping him tied to the earth.
“How do you know?” Dean asked, hating how fragile he sounded.
“Because I know you, Dean Winchester. I saw you as a kid, how you always watched out for whoever needed it. You protected Sam and me, took care of us if we needed something. And I saw you after your parents passed, how you took being Sam’s brother so seriously. And I see how you look at Mary, like you’d give everything to keep her safe.” Cas whispered the words fiercely. He was always sincere, except in the rare moments he teased Dean, but this went beyond that. This was the core of his beliefs, something Cas held close to his heart.
Dean swallowed thickly. “Thank you.”