Archive of Our Own

Tobio

There was some rustling on his right side, that was what annoyed him the most. There is only one side which he usually sleeps and that was the right side of the bed, that meant than any rustling, pushing, shoving, movement, sound or overall interruption of his sleeping status came from the left side of the bed.

Someone was rustling on the right side of the bed, and Tobio’s train of thoughts suddenly came to a halt not due to misunderstanding but pain and nausea, something was happening in his head, the pain sharp and overwhelming, something that made his stomach churn because the sudden nausea came crashing and the muscles surrounding his stomach contracted painfully.

He was sick.

Something was making him feel sick. Oh god, he was dying, this was the first time he felt this way, he tried to open his eyes but the light of the bedroom only made him groan. Tobio tried to talk, his mouth felt like cotton and his breath like the death.

Oh god, he was really dying. He tried to turn to the side but it was like his body wasn’t his own, his muscles felt sluggish, everything weighed more than it should, couldn’t turn left from right, with effort, he raised one of his arms and tried to move the body besides his own, trying to get them to wake up and probably go to the doctor.

He was imaging the best he could the following act: a crashing to the floor, steps than ran through the house while trying to dress himself, dress Tobio, trying to walk to the car and the thousands of shots he was going to get after this from everything under the Sun.

“Whaaat?”.

Tobio felt his heart stop, all coherent thoughts and painful awakening stopped by the high pitch and body moving away from the right side of the bed.

He turned as he could towards the body, opening his eyes scared when instead of muscles and curly hair he saw soft curves and long hair, long curly hair. He turned as fast as he could and threw up all over the left side of the bed, the gagging sound now awakening the other person who surprised reached out for Tobio who could only tried to push her away as everything that was in his stomach came on a carpet that wasn’t his own.

“W-who the fuck are you?” Tobio never turned to see her, his eyes couldn’t focus and even the window appeared to be floating away, turning and twisting, he spat on the floor trying to not keep the bile out of his mouth, now the bitter and sour taste was all over his mouth, this wasn’t working at all.

“M-me? Do you remember anything from last night?” she stuttered, covering her naked body with the dirty sheets, Tobio kept gazing her from over the shoulder, not even hiding the fact of his distaste at her appearance and of everything that was happening right now.

“I don’t know where the fuck I’m. Who a-are you?” asked again trying not to vomit again all over the bed. Tobio blinked in an effort to recall what happened last night, trying to remember if something extraordinary happened, but nothing came, his memories just sat black on his head, the last thing he remembered clearly was Kiyoomi’s goodbye kiss on the genkan because he was going out with…

“I was invited by your friend who said you needed help to lose your v-card” whispered the woman, suddenly scared by the hateful eyes watching her.

“W-who?” asked Tobio again. “Who t-the f-fuck called y-you her-e” Tobio’s speech was chopped and slow, his mouth still felt like cotton, his breath surpassed what death was and the nausea was not receding, it was getting worse: the light, the taste of his mouth, the woman on the right side of the bed, the fact that Tobio could try to lie to himself but the fact was that he was naked under the sheets too.

What happened last night didn’t bode well at all.

“Miya-san” whispered terrified. And as that name was sputtered, and the woman took the sheet to cover herself and walk to the toilet to grab him a towel, Tobio felt murderous.

“Hi-Hinata!” of course it was the stupid, idiotic, one-brain-cell Hinata who made this mess and involved him, of course it was Miya the asshole who on the last Olympic hide Tobio’s keys to his apartment on the Olympic Villa and he had to sleep with Wakatoshi because the idiot was pranking him.

Of course it was him.

It surely was the noise, his scream, the gagging and throwing up because Tobio was not being subtle, nor shy about his discontent, his overwhelming rage that tried to swallow him up but the only thing it did was making him more nauseous and ill.

The sudden movement around what Tobio think was the door made Tobio and the wench to turn their gazes to them, where the setter could clearly recognize ginger hair and bleached hair.

He growled like a wounded beast and tried to stand by himself to at least threw a punch to the assholes that ruined his life but the only think he could do was tumble on the side as he tried to not step on the puke all over the carpet.

He failed.

“Y-you, son of a…”.

“Hey! Hey! What happened? Last night you were all happy and she is your type, isn’t she? Tall, curly hair, nice body” Miya keep talking while laughing, he clearly was with hangover looking at how he closed his eyes when stood under direct light.

Hinata, on the other hand, was more cautious in his approach, walking towards Tobio, his eyes opening in surprise at the puke marring the floor, worried when he seemed to notice the other couldn’t stand up properly.

“Hey, are you ok?” asked Shoyo while closing the gap between them, his cautiousness over a hit not interrupting in the need to try and help Tobio stand up. On the other hand, Miya seemed to realise something was wrong when the smell hit him fully.

“Oh, wow. Did you give him something else? I told you not to make him eat more cake because it was a space cake” said Miya to the woman on the other side while he walked to the toilet to search who knows what.

“Space cake?! I thought we were only getting him wasted so he wouldn’t be too awkward!” yelled Hinata.

“He ain’t doing nothing with beer! He just sat on a corner waiting for the hour to end, I have seen him wasted before, laaaame” spoke the bleached man from the bathroom.

Talking seemed like a lost cause for the younger setter, too much focused on trying to keep standing and walking towards the end of the bed, but he understood, oh did he understood, the idiot who he thought was his best friend, the asshole who he once thought was also a good friend. The idiots than when together made everything about idiotic things and bad decisions.

Hinata eager to help a friend.

Miya eager to prank everyone.

Tobio the poor sod who everyone thought was alone because he understood what professional and personal life meant and how to keep both separate from each other even if it got complicated.

Last night they were celebrating Tobio’s new signed contract with Ali Roma, he will go next season but it was already done deal, he was looking for a nice apartment in Rome, Kiyoomi was already looking for another team on central Europe to be together, there were more people last night, he remembered Tsukishima and Koganegawa now, he remembered they left earlier because they had a 9-5 job.

He remembered some of the Jackals and Adlers, Inunaki-san was there, Sokolov and… Suna. God, Suna, the idiot who filmed everything and posted everything, the idiot best-friend of Atsumu Miya, the idiot who probably already had some kind of post from last night.

Tobio crawled to his pants and searched like a madman for his phone, not bothering to answer Hinata and Miya’s questions as they tried to clean the mess. The woman was already gone, probably too ashamed and uncomfortable from all the morning fallout.

Was it morning?

And as he pushed for the app icon, the first post he saw was a picture of him, because everyone was tagging him. Everyone.

It was a well-taken photo like Suna is used to provide, the night did nothing to hide Tobio at the corner with the wench on his arm, Tobio watched himself at lost on the phone, his gaze wasn’t even totally focused on her, it was on her hair and Tobio knew why.

He loved Kiyoomi’s curly hair, he played with it every night, turning the curls tight on his fingers, playing with the strands to make it straight and then watching it bounce right back to well-defined curls, he loved caressing the undercut under them, he loved how all that made Kiyoomi moan pleasurably and hide his face on Tobio’s neck because he was like a cat.

She looked like a washed-out version of his boyfriend.

A tagged boyfriend looking at how Wakatoshi answered the tag on the comments with a question mark.

Tobio and Kiyoomi had only two common friends: Wakatoshi, because he was Tobio’s spiker until this season and they both hit it off really well, and he was the reason why Kiyoomi and Tobio started being Kiyoomi and Tobio; and Motoya, Kiyoomi’s cousin.

Motoya who under the same comment left an angry emoji and the hashtag #YouNeverStopKnowingPeople and he tagged Kiyoomi too.

He was dead.

“Y-you!” Tobio couldn’t think straight, wasn’t able to, wasn’t with all the pain that came back that seemed like he was breaking his head, not while shivering and he didn’t know why, not because he was throwing up again and someone was yelling and it wasn’t him.

“Tobio-kun! What the hell! It was just beer and a little bit of weed”.

“Oh my god, we drugged them and now he’s going to die!”.

“Don’t be pessimist! You’re sounding like Omi-Omi. He just needs to sleep it off and…”.

“You!” Tobio cut the conversation and pointed at Hinata. “Go to my apartment and bring the fuck out of my boyfriend to the hospital, and you!” he said pointed to Miya. “T-take me to the hospital you son of a bitch, take me NOW!”. It was a testament on how alien his words were and how strange the train of words made them both feel that the pair of idiots just tilted his head.

“You have a boyfriend?”.

“BRING ME TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU IDIOT!” and just as Tobio yelled to the top of his lungs, he started to throw-up again. It kicked something in both who were scrambling trying to put a bin under his chin, Hinata trying to find his clothes, but they were dirty, suddenly realising this was his shared apartment with Miya and they had almost the same height and weight.

As if understanding that nothing in this room was salvable, Hinata scrambled to get clothes from Miya’s closet, Miya made all the effort to sit him down so he could get somewhat cleaned, it was deafening silence after Tobio’s outburst, his elaborated breath and pale skin made Miya realise there was indeed something wrong with him and his expression changed from cheerful chaos to worry and  shame.

“Let me go ta’ ask sumthin’ before going ta’ the hospital, Tobio-kun”. Miya's accent was thick with worry but there was no response from the younger setter who had closed his eyes as he tried to control his breath, it seemed like Miya took that as a signal to keep working in silence and Tobio couldn’t care much about being left alone. The silence was eating him alive, his ears ringed from time to time, and though he had his eyes closed, the world keep going from up to down, turning and twitching.

Tobio might felt like his body was failing him, keeping him from being rational, but his thoughts were full of two comments repeating themselves in the worse nightmare he could create with his mind. The pictures by themselves were enough to open a deep chasm in Kiyoomi, he knew, they were attuned that way.

As a hand came to touch his shoulder blades, Tobio left a tremble shake him, the sudden touch revolted his stomach for a different reason, the timid voice of Hinata settled something within the setter as he just did whatever the other said and directed his body to be, he let Hinata dress him from the pants, to the shirt and sockets, he keep talking to him over his head but the Tobio wasn’t processing the words at all, he could only open his mouth to repeat hospital and ask for his boyfriend, feeling bereft and… Dirty.

Used, wasted, thrown away, void, dry, mangled, he couldn’t even thing in other types of words to describe himself.

With help, Tobio started to talk towards the door, Hinata serving as a makeshift crutch. In another opportunity he might have mocked the other about being short and using his height for something good, but now, he could barely tolerate the heat from the other that clashed with his skin, his steps where so unstable that he felt every hand supporting him like crushed glass on his skin.

When Miya and Hinata could finally sat him on the car, Tobio barely opened his eyes searching for those worried brown eyes of his “best friend”.

“Bring him to the hospital or don’t show your face at all forever” rasped while inhaling air trying to keep the bile down his stomach. Scared that he might vomit again on the car, Miya pushed another bin on his hands, Hinata closed the door and Tobio could only close his eyes again and make a conscious effort to not melt on the passenger seat while Miya drove away to the nearest hospital.

Miya tried to fill the silence with his voice, then with the radio, but it was a lost cause, Tobio too enraged to even do small talk, too sick to appreciate some light music, too oversensitive to even think about reaching the damn building and do any test under the sun.

Did he get a STD?, was the drug they gave that strong to keep making him vomit? Tobio was scared, scared of the consequences because he worked hard to hone his body to be a volleyball machine, his personal work-out journal full of improvements, exercises, routines and food tips to keep his body on top condition.

His personal maintenance routine has a well-oiled machine that kept him going since childhood and he couldn’t believe that Hinata and Miya could do this to him. Sure, drinking here and there wasn’t something new to Tobio, it was why Kiyoomi decided to skip, both of them didn’t like alcohol and Tobio only went to celebrate Hinata’s come back from Brazil and spend time with him before going overseas himself, but now, now he decided to never step a foot on Miya’s and Hinata’s apartment ever again.

From the other man he believed everything, too used to be a jerk, too used to push everyone’s buttons to have the last laugh, too used to asking for forgiveness instead of permission.

“Never again” he whispered to himself, but Tobio wasn’t whispering at all and those words made Miya shiver on the other seat with the sudden flitching he made and the groan of shame.

Good, maybe he’ll think twice about being an overall asshole.

They parked on ER, Miya had to walk alone into it and came back with a wheelchair and a nurse who only took one look at him to understand it wasn’t something minor or a common hangover, he pushed the chair with the expertise of someone who knew how to go quick but not just too much to trigger the nausea.

He needed to wait for the triage as there were other people on ER, but after his third puking festival he was put into a bed with and IV and a nurse taking his vitals while trying to call the doctor so he could get started on some exams.

“What happened?” asked the female nurse while taking Tobio’s hand reaching for his pulse while trying to keep the disposable bin under his chin.

“… Well… there was a party” whatever Miya was trying to say to the nurse only got the other to ask snippy questions, Miya was trying to be as general as he could as Tobio didn’t remember anything at all from last night. The nurse was probably fed-up with Miya’s answer because a cold hand pressed his forehead and the nurse voice was getting more insistent with his name.

“Kageyama-san, Kageyama-san, can you explain where it hurts?” repeated again and again the nurse. Tobio nodded slowly, the taste in his mouth bitter and awful made him cringe and probably he was making faces because the nurse huffed and brought water and another disposable bin for him to wash some of the taste.

Tobio was thankful as fresh water made him feel better, or maybe it was getting something liquid on him, he was probably dehydrated from all the vomiting.

“Headache, strong… body… weak, c-can’t remember last night, c-can’t stand, puck-ed everything” his chopped speech made the nurse frown, Tobio couldn’t hold the gaze too long before everything started to swim and twist. “Everything moves” whispered with his last strength while closing his eyes.

Something else was said but Tobio was more focused on trying not to get overwhelmed by the sensation of the world moving around.

His right arm was getting some pressure, probably from a machine, someone took his shirt away, put something on his chest and started to just move him around and Tobio let them. He was half-sitting on the hospital bed with Miya at his side not knowing what to do, the doctor hasn’t arrived yet, the waiting was killing him as the nausea came and went, the taste of bile on his mouth made him frown, he tried to drink some water but it was like his body was rebelling itself against his own wishes.

He never said no to water, it was what kept him playing on the court.

God knows how many minutes or hours passed, Tobio couldn’t keep his eyes open enough to see the sun move from its position, but he could hear the people coming and going from the nearby boxes, doctor’s opening and closing curtains, until the one from his bed opened again.

Tobio really hoped it was the doctor, but the shy expression from a ginger-idiot was all Tobio saw before curly short hair stood on the right corner.

He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but then all again came crashing not only on his mind but with his body.

The wench from the left side of the bedroom.

His naked body laying against her.

The headache that was getting worse as the time passed.

Hinata and Miya’s mocking voice first thing in the morning.

The comments.

Kiyoomi’s bags under his eyes, how pale he was, how much frizz his hair had and Tobio knew he hated, how those black alluring eyes were watching him doubtful and worried. Like a butterfly with plucked wings.

Tobio retched again, his stomach convulsing and twisting painfully because there was nothing on him to keep puking, someone was crying and screaming, the bin again under his chin.

Strong hands tried to hold him straight, he realised he was the one making those noises, he tried opening again his eyes, but could only vaguely see curly hair near him, Kiyoomi’s luscious and red lips saying something.

He bit those lips until they were raw, Tobio realised. And then everything was dark.

Shoyo

“Hi-Hinata!” came the raspy and weak yell from Tobio. And that startled the shit out of Shoyo who was trying to sleep on his sofa. The sound came crashing and he tried his best to try and omit it but he got worried because it was Tobio, the dumb and awkward adult who once bought twice the amount of food because the girl kept giving him stuff on the market because he was attractive and she was clearly flirting with him but he didn’t grasp why a sales woman tried to entertain him with... tea of all things.

That Tobio.

He stood and walked consciously through the corridor, Atsumu opening his door with a tired but cheerful smile on his lips ready to mock the other setter.

When Shoyo opened the door, the unexpected happened. His cheerful disposition and easy smile, trying to ease whatever worry Tobio had this early in the morning disapear as son as he came to notice the other’s eyes weren’t focused, Tobio had a hard time trying to say anything at all bypassing the shortest female figure in the room. 

So when the door opened fully and the goofy approach didn’t work, Shoyo blinked slowly and could only watch worried as the other started to try to talk.

“Y-you, son of a…”.

“Hey! Hey! What happened? Last night you were all happy and she is your type, isn’t she? Tall, curly hair, nice body”. And of course, behind him came Atsumu, trying to diffuse the situation.

Shoyo, on the other hand, was more cautious in his approach, walking towards Tobio, his eyes opening in shock at the puke marring the floor, worried when he seemed to understand the other couldn’t stand up properly.

“Hey, are you ok?” asked while closing the gap between them, his cautiousness over a hit wasn’t enough to keep him trying to make Tobio stand. On the other hand, Atsumu seemed slowly register something was wrong when the smell hit him fully.

“Oh, wow. Did you give him something else? I told you not to make him eat more cake because it was a hard on the weed side already” said Atsumu to the woman on the other side while he walked to the toilet to search who knows what.

“Space?... Y-you mean weed on the cake?!" Shoyo turned his head growing cold. "I thought we were only getting him wasted so he wouldn’t be too awkward!” yelled Shoyo. His head turned right back at the older setter as they both started to point fingers at each other.

“He ain’t doing nothing with beer! He just sat on a corner waiting for the hour to end, I have seen him wasted before, laaaame” spoke the bleached man from the bathroom.

“That’s not what we agreed, Atsumu-san! What did those cakes have?”.

“Just weed! I even got a lot more because I said we were trying to get our common friend here laid”.

“W-wait… He didn’t know I was…” the woman turned her head towards Atsumu and Shoyo suddenly felt a cold sensation ran through his veins for different reasons. Atsumu trying not to make eye contact, Shoyo's own eyes sharp and unyielding.  

“What the hell did you do, Miya?” his menacing tone made the other two shiver. The woman tried to shrink herself, and Atsumu tried to avoid his gaze, but Shoyo could only frown harder while seeing Tobio crawling to his pants searching for something like a madman.

“I won’t ask again, Miya, what the hell did you give Tobio?!”.

“Sheeesh! Nothing, some beer, some aperols, two space cakes. I know a guy who made them, I buy from time to time”.

“Are you nuts?! Tobio doesn’t even like drinking! Oh my god! I drugged my best friend, he’s poisoned!”.

“Hey! I have the same cake to Bokkun and he’s alright”.

“YOU DRUGGED BOKUTO-SAN TOO?!”.

“HE KNEW IT WAS SPACE CAKE!”.

The screaming match seemed to not bother the other setter, more worried about something on his phone, on the other hand, the woman disappeared to the toilet, clearly done with the conversation and preparing to let herself out.

“Who is she anyways?!” stopped the yelling Hinata, watching worried how Tobio could only move when moved, obviously lost from the world and reality.

“I might… or might not have… paid… hooker” from the deliberately chopped and low speech, Hinata already knew he wasn’t going to like the answer.

It was worse than he thought.

“You hired a sex-worker to have sex with Tobio, and you… made him do it because you gave him space cakes to get him high?” whispered back Shoyo, chopped and working extra hard to understand what even crossed Atsumu's mind to do that.

Atsumu nodded not looking into the other eyes. The silence was tense and worrisome until someone broke it.

“Y-you!” the yell that came from Tobio, broken and weak, kept Shoyo from committing a murder.

“Tobio-kun! What the hell! It was just beer and a little bit of weed”. Atsumu was clearly trying to diffuse the situation saying it like it was a common joke, but it wasn’t working on anyone in this room.

“Oh my god, we drugged him and now he’s going to die!” Shoyo’s words broke something in Miythe other setter a who was quick to answer back.

“Don’t be pessimist! You’re sounding like Omi-Omi. He just needs to sleep it off and…”.

“You!” Tobio cut again the conversation and pointed at Shoyo. “Go to my apartment and bring the fuck out of my boyfriend to the hospital, and you!” he said pointed to Miya. “T-take me to the hospital you son of a bitch, take me NOW!”.

There was something wrong with that sentence.

“You have a boyfriend?” whispered his question Shoyo to his best friend.

“BRING ME TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU IDIOT!” the yell startled him as Tobio decided he couldn’t hold it anymore nor wanted to, so he started vomiting, again. That kicked some sense in him as he put a bin under his chin, he scrambled to get clothes from Miya’s closet as Tobio’s own were a mess. When he stepped out of the room, Atsumu was trying to sit Kageyama so he could get somewhat clean. It was deafening the silence after Tobio’s outburst, but in Shoyo’s mind only the instruction repeated itself like and old record machine.

You go to my apartment and bring my boyfriend to the hospital.

You go to my apartment and bring my boyfriend to the hospital.

You go to my apartment and bring my boyfriend to the hospital.

You go to my ho apartment me and bring my boyfriend to the hospital.

Apartment, boyfriend, hospital.

Apartment … boyfriend… hospital.

Shoyo Hinata wasn’t only going for the first time to Tobio’s best kept secret: where he lives, the stingy idiot never told anyone where he was moving out after last year, something about privacy.

Now he knew!

He also was going to meet his best friend boyfriend in the worst way possible, and he will have to tell the poor guy he helped getting him wasted, drugged and cheated on because they thought he was single and idiot Atsumu hired a sex-worker to have sex with Tobio.

He was going to be death meat when all this chaos ended.

Shoyo returned to the room just in time to hear Atsumu talk.

“Let me go ta’ ask sumthin’ before going ta’ the hospital, Tobio-kun”. His accent was getting worse as he nervously signaled the woman who kept walking like nothing was going wrong.

Atsumu and Shoyo worked in silence trying to help clean Tobio and getting him dressed. Shoyo found the other’s wallet and quickly took the apartment card that would get him into the building. The card was silver and metallic, didn’t have Tobio’s name, just a logo from the building.

He was glad his friend was so dumb and probably got lost the first few months because he still had the direction written in a torn paper which he quickly took a photo and saved it on the same place.

He passed the wallet to Atsumu not out of trust, but from the two of them it was Miya the one who could talk to the doctors and nurses, Tobio seemed to be saving all his strength in trying not to fall asleep or puke again.

When Atsumu went to help him stand again, Kageyama trembled, it was weird having him look so weak and… scared. The sudden understanding of what they did, and the consequences of those choices made Shoyo’s own stomach churn.

Shoyo dressed quickly and took care of Tobio while Atsumu did the same, they made a fast and efficient work on taking all they needed so both could carry Tobio towards Atsumu’s car. Lucky for them, the neighbours were either doing their lives or still sleeping, it was earlier in the morning after all.

They walked cautiously, still with another bin under both Shoyo’s and Atsumu’s available hands. It was a tortuous trip, between having to hold Tobio from time to time as his legs gave in or he started to groan painfully, not even opening his eyes while he walked.

When Miya and Hinata could finally sat him on the car, Tobio barely opened his eyes searching without focusing on something, the once blue eyes where fully black, barely a ring of blue surrounding them.

His shaking hand grabbed Hinata’s shirt by the chest, it wasn’t a tight grip, it was a desperate plea.

“Bring him to the hospital or don’t show your face at all forever” rasped Kageyama, holding something inside him, seeing as he didn’t have nothing else to say, Hinata closed the door, gave a worried look at Atsumu and watched them go.

Usually, Shoyo and Miya drove together to practise. Living together meant they get to do a lot of stuff together and save a lot of money… Not that now Shoyo was tight on it, but he supposed having lived with a tight budget on Brazil made him realise it was important to save. 

That meant he didn’t have a car like Atsumu, Tobio, Wakatoshi, Tanaka-san, and a lot of people he knew. He searched Tobio’s direction on his navigation app and got surprised to see it was on the high-end district. Now he was missing having a car so he could arrive sooner to Tobio's apartment.

Though Shoyo knew Kageyama had a comfortable life, now he probably understood why he was so… simple minded, he never cared about expenses, often said he could cover his travels and to just tell him how much do they need from him on high school. He also sometimes helped to chip in when they were tight on money due to training camps at Karasuno.

And now that he remembered… didn’t Kageyama applied to Shiratorizawa? That was a private school, those weren’t cheap.

Also, when they traveled to Brazil, he said it was the first time on tourist class, that made Tsukishima frown, but Shoyo never paid attention to that kind of conversation. His train of thought went down in spirals. It was a 45-minute trip by train, a little five-minute walk, during all the process, he couldn’t help but worry.

How would he present himself?

Did they know each other?

Maybe that was why Tobio was so focused on getting his phone. Now that Hinata remembered, Suna-san did film part of the night, he quickly took his phone out and saw the videos from the party and some not so innocent pictures being taken.

Nothing too explicit, but yeah, nothing good either.

Kageyama was so out of himself that he didn’t even tell him what’s his boyfriend’s name. And thinking back, Tobio was a sucky friend! How can he hide that part of his life while sharing all the rest? Will the boyfriend move out with him to Italy?

Oh, gods. He made Tobio break-up with his boyfriend! He was never going to forgive him for that! Maybe that was why he was so insistent on bringing the guy to the hospital, a good idea though his speech of "Surprise! I'm Tobio's bestie, sorry for not knowing you before, I kinda drugged your boyfriend and cheered when he was cheating on you, sorry" didn't sound so well in his head. It was a total mess. He didn’t even know Tobio liked men over women!

Shoyo’s stress levels were getting higher so fast that he almost forgot to go down on the station, he made a quick exit and though it was only pass eight in a city like Tokyo it meant a lot of people at any given time… sans residential areas.

And wealthy residential areas.

They had nice open streets, amazing buildings, so much parks but it was only near the station where people gathered. As Shoyo walked into the district, less and less people could be seen, just some expensive cars turning right and left.

Tobio’s building was a tall apartment building it looked expensive on the outside with all those windows in which you could only see the reflection of other buildings.

He entered the place with purpose, put the card on the totem and got inside, gave a short bow to the concierge and keep walking to the elevator. Floor 16^th, apartment A.

The nerves were killing him, the corridor of a building never felt so large and alien to him, apartment A was on the left corner, probably had a nice balcony view. Why was he thinking on a balcony view when Kageyama was probably dying on a hospital bed and he and Atsumu meddled on his relationship with his boyfriend?

He put the card on the totem again and while the door did indeed open, it didn’t fully.

It had the manual lock on it.

A displeased sound came from the other side of the door that made Shoyo whine painfully. Of course, the boyfriend would kick a cheater.

For a second, the new recruit from MSBY thought the other person across the door would say something, but the silence was deafening. He fumbled with trying to say something, anything, but the more he waited, the more the hidden person across the door gave him the impression he was doing a constant effort of not punching him in the face because he thought he was Tobio.

“… H-Hi, w-we don’t know each other, b-but… Tobio sent me! He said… He said… he needed you” gosh he was bad at this, and hearing the grunt from the other made Hinata realise he was doing this all wrong.

He needed to stand not only for his mistakes, but for Tobio who couldn’t be there trying to explain his significant other that he had bad friends and made him do shitty stuff.

That he didn’t know he was doing.

Because they drugged him.

And Tobio didn’t seem to remember anything.

And was puking his soul on a hospital bed and could even stand.

Ok, Shoyo could do this, he really could.

“L-listen… ok, shit. We messed up, Atsumu and I gave Tobio buzz and… Atsumu drugged him and paid a sex-worker to have sex with him” he whispered in the tiny space the door had open, his hand on the side of the door, gripping it hard begging for the other to listen and not close the door.

Shoyo could hear the high intake of air.

“… He… Tobio, he doesn’t remember shit and… we kinda had to take him to the hospital because he wasn’t feeling well… he”.

The sudden steps came quickly by the door, his fingers got pressed on the door-frame and he left a painful whimper at the same time the other fumbled of the manual lock fell as the door fully opened, but Shoyo was too ashamed to even look at the other eyes, hands now at the side of his body gripping his pants. Then in came, a deep voice he knew so well, a voice full of despair and hate.

“You did what?!”.

Hinata turned his head up in surprise, facing for the first time Tobio’s boyfriend and Hinata’s coworker, Kiyoomi Sakusa.

“Omi-san?”.

“W h a t  d i d  y o u  d o?” it was like simmering daggers getting thrown at him as all the words of that sentence got spelled with so much intonation that left Shoyo gasping for air. Not moving, not blinking, just hoping for the furious gaze of Sakusa to not kill him on the spot.

“We… we thought Tobio just needed to unwind! Said, I said he probably needed to get laid, so Atsumu said he knew some girls and with enough beers Tobio would probably… you know, flirt and get laid. B-But! But Atsumu bought space cake, he said it was only weed, and he gave two to Tobio, and then… and then he disappeared with a girl Atsumu-san presented and… and today he puked all over my carpet and asked to be sent to the hospital because he couldn’t s-stand”. Hinata was rambling, he knew, whispered the story with shame watching those dark eyes turn spiteful and Omi-san mouth turn down in clear unhappiness and despair.

It wasn’t even near the expression he wears when tired or annoyed, it was a really bad expression, the first time he saw Kiyoomi Sakusa hateful gaze befall over him.

“Are you mocking me?” his words where rough, probably from all this situation, but Hinata denied fervently with his head.

“H-he really can’t stand, can’t open his eyes, puked over everything… I… Do you think he’s dying?” whispered scared again from the current situation, his best friend alone in a hospital bed with only Atsumu as his only companion, from all the people in the world.

God, what a mess.

Something crossed the other’s face, too quick for Shoyo to understand. Sakusa turned, walking quickly into the apartment, he heard some noises, probably him searching something? And then came back with a duffle bag and car keys.

“Where?”. He pushed Hinata out of the genkan as he closed the apartment, walking to the elevator not bothering to wait for him, but Shoyo walked fast following the other’s steps.

“I can ask Atsumu-san, j-just give me a second”.

“You left him alone with Miya?”.

“Kageyama told me to come looking for you and to not get near him if I didn’t”.

“This better be a joke or you are both dead”.

The rest of the trip on Tobio’s, or Omi-san’s?, expensive car was tense. The GPS doing the work to get them into the hospital avoiding traffic. Hinata took the first steps into the hospital asking for the box whilst Omi-san stood behind clearly still doubting all the situation, it was out of those movies when everything was fine until it wasn’t. They were directed to a more secluded area where only numbers could be seen and on box 6 was Tobio, eyes closed and a bin under his chin. He looked way paler than before, his eyes sunken, he seemed so small on the bed.

“Atsumu-san? Is Tobio asleep?” the question got answered by the man on the bed, who barely opened his eyes not even acknowledging Shoyo, but the man behind him, his unfocused eyes working hard to watch him.

Nobody saw it coming, the crash, Tobio turned puking all over the corner of the hospital bed, heaving and whining from pain, Atsumu scrambled to get the nurse and Omi-san disappeared from his side walking quickly to Tobio who was folding within himself trying to hold the bile on his body.

“Tobio! Tobio, let it out, you’ll feel better afterwards” tried to reassure the spiker but as he reached to touch the other on the bed, the same tremble that he did this morning followed.

He was reacting bad to touch, Tobio never did that before, he was often touch starved and never knew how to approach people for a hug or a gentle pat, he was way better at it now, but touching was never a problem with him.

Until today, after everything.

The nurse pushed away Omi-san who was surprised by the reaction and as she gave a sedative to Tobio, then Omi-san turned to watch them both, him and Atsumu, with the most hateful expression known to mankind.

Shoyo often forgot Omi-san was incredibly tall, he was used to see him with his arms down or in court where everyone seemed from the same height.

But now, now he took advantage of that 1.96 cm, punched Atsumu right on the face and grabbed Hinata’s shirt again dragging him to the floor in a simple showcase of raw power and despair.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?”.

“H-HEY! Stop it! Stop it! No fighting or we will have to kick you out of the room!”.

“Omi-Omi? What the fuck are you here?!”.

“You two fucking idiots! Why it’s always you! Wasn’t it enough that you keep bothering him through all Olympics and Worlds?! You threw him over a river last time Miya! A FUCKING RIVER!”.

“IT WAS A JOKE”.

“IT WAS A RIVER!”.

“NO YELLING!”

“Hey, drop it, both of you” groaned Shoyo from the floor gasping for air, that had hurt like hell. Watching how Atsumu was covering with his hand his eye as Omi-san threw him another punch.

“Security! I need security!”.

“You both” spat the older one with distaste “will talk with the doctor, tell them every little thing you did last night and get the fuck out of here. I don’t want to watch your faces ever again”.

He turned right back at the chair cornered on Tobio’s bedside waiting impatiently as the nurse worked on Tobio and opened his phone furiously, waiting for the line to connect, it didn't take long either.

“Hello, Wakatoshi, yes… Yes… No, it seemed like you were right and there was a reason. Come to Hikibara Hospital, Box 6. Tobio is going to be admitted soon. I will talk to you when you arrive”.

That made Hinata wince, but he didn’t fight, not when Omi-san was holding Tobio’s hand with care, a worried gaze directed over the paler form that was not moving at all in the bed.

Security came but just helped Atsumu and Shoyo towards another box to check Atsumu’s eye and to see if Hinata had anything broken from being thrown onto the floor in just one movement.

“Omi-san is Tobio’s boyfriend” said curtly Shoyo to Atsumu while being checked by the nurse.

“Whaat? Are you fucking kidding me? Omi? And Tobio-kun? Since when?”.

“I don’t know, it seems Ushijima-san knows because he’s coming”.

“The fuck”.

They never left ER, sat on the nearby bench waiting for news, too worried to even go back to clean themselves and return. Now Hinata understood why they said hospital coffee was the worst.

One hour later, they saw Ushijima’s serious and worried expression enter the ER, finding them right away and walking towards them like a man on a mission.

“Explain”.

This time it was Atsumu’s turn, Shoyo just turning and watching as the setter tried to censure the story, but it was impossible as the olive gaze of the older spiker just turned sourer and sourer, frowning with judgement, his eyes turning even more cold.

“I’m disappointed in both of you, but I’m not surprised anymore. Tobio-kun always defended you, Atsumu Miya, saying you were just weird and kind of a prankster, but after last Olympics and today, I will talk to Tobio-kun. You don’t seem to know when to stop and that is a dangerous combination. Do you have news on his current state?”.

“N-no… Omi-san is stressed enough; he yelled at us and… well… threw me to the floor and punched Atsumu on the face… We don’t want to make him more uncomfortable as it was, but Ushijima-san… I know we messed up, but Tobio is my best friend, can you tell me if you have news, please?”.

“That doesn’t surprise me. Kiyoomi-kun is really protective of Tobio-kun and their relationship, Tobio-kun is the same, that’s why I thought something else was happening from last night social media post. Tell Rintarou Suna to delete the post even if it’s too late” Ushijima took his phone out, watching them for a while whilst he called someone, the call connected right away, to the ginger one, it seemed like everyone knew his best friend life instead of him.

Maybe because he kept trying to include Miya when clearly Sakusa and Tobio were more on the cautious side of the scale. Now he knew why.

“Umi, Tobio-kun’s at the hospital, Kiyoomi-kun is with him, it’s bad. Can you please talk with Motoya-kun and bring him here?... Yes… Yes… I don’t want to talk this over the phone, but believe me, it’s a good reason. Maybe you should make a stop at their apartment and bring some clothes, I doubt Kiyoomi-kun will come back if it’s a bad as I think it is”.

To put everyone’s words into an actual statement made Shoyo felt all the shame he was trying to hold back earlier, the uncomfortable feeling that Tobio wasn’t well at all, that he could barely stand by himself, barely speak, he kept vomiting since he woke up.

It all came crashing down. Adding to the painful feeling was the fact that Ushijima-san and Hoshiumi-san knew of their relationship made everything worse, why did they know and not him? It wasn’t an excuse, but all of this could be prevented if Tobio had told him he was in a relationship, he needn’t to know it was Omi-san, just that he was seeing someone.

Ushijima-san turned and walked towards the box where Omi-san and Tobio were. Barely five minutes later, nurses went running at Tobio’s box, Shoyo stood up surprised and scared when not even five minutes later, Tobio was taken to another room.

“… I think you need to call Bokuto-san” whispered Shoyo to Atsumu who had gotten even more pale as he reached his phone with a trembling hand.

Kourai

Kourai stood only with a boxer in the middle of his room, his body on autopilot as he dragged himself to a quick shower. He knew something was weird from those pictures, Tobio for all his awesome skill on volleyball was a simple and honest man.

The same as Kourai. If they liked something, they liked it until the end of times. Even if drinking milk did nothing to him as 23 years old, he still keeps drinking milk boxes regularly. Last night, he spoke with Wakatoshi about what the hell was happening on the Jackals apartment, the later having called to Sakusa only to be curtly told that he didn’t want to talk.

It was out of Tobio’s character, everyone who knew him could tell you that, so it was probably real what Wakatoshi seemed to have realised last year at Worlds when they were eating dinner in his own apartment, Sakusa frowning all the time while not being able to deny fully what the other said.

That Miya seemed a little bit spiteful towards Tobio, always pushing, always pranking. They had just ended they Worlds run, Tobio’s luggage got sent to Aruba because Miya thought it would be hilarious when Tobio reached Japan only to be told his luggage got mixed up because there was an additional sticker on it.

Coach Hibarida had yelled at him, half the team had laughed because it was a fun joke, Kourai did, but the frown that Wakatoshi and Kiyoomi had was permanent that day.

“But why would he?” was what Tobio had asked not understanding. Tobio knew he could be difficult and not everyone liked everyone, but Miya seemed nice, Tobio was nothing but polite towards him, had a nice rivalry going on as the Jackals and Adlers seemed to often clash at finals, they worked in tandem while at Worlds and preliminaries for the Olympic.

It was Wakatoshi who answered, always searching for logic.

“I just checked, from all the sets we played at this Worlds championship, you were the starting setter of all, you also played 70 % of those. I’m not saying this is the reason, I’m saying maybe he’s feeling inferior towards your soaring career? Your stats keep getting ahead of him”.

Sakusa’s humming made Kourai tense because that meant the other spiker agreed with the elder’s words, but the conversation dropped at that. Tobio-kun didn’t want to talk about Miya on their night off, they were more focused with Wakatoshi’s end of season from Poland that had him here from the time being, Tobio’s upcoming change of team and Kiyoomi’s overseas offers.

Now, Kourai was at nine in the morning walking to Motoya’s apartment in Tokyo hoping the idiot wasn’t on a murdering scheme, because probably Sakusa started weeping last night alone like the emo he was.

“Open up, Toya!” he banged the door twice when the frown and pissed out expression of the libero welcomed him, he knew this shit was going to explode. Nobody knew how protective Motoya was of his cousin, often they forgot Komori was older than Sakusa for almost a year, thing he used to bother the spiker on regular basis.

“Are you here trying to get brownie points for your asshole bestie?” oh, he was going for blood, Kourai knew it, but at the same time there wasn’t time for this, not if the last text from Wakatoshi was anything but real.

“Listen, I’m talking 100% serious here, no jokes. You need to get dressed so we can drop by Sakusa’s and Tobio’s apartment. Tobio is being hospitalised and Sakusa got into a fight with Miya and Hinata, we need to go to the hospital ASAP before he starts throwing stuff”.

Motoya blinked at him and laughed, like it was the best joke ever, Kourai stood there waiting for the other to finish, there was three things in his little speech that didn’t fit and he knew: firstly, Tobio at the hospital meant the man was probably dog sick because he hardly ever got a flu; Secondly, Kiyoomi punching somebody else with how he ran from people; lastly, it wasn’t a joke because Kourai wasn’t laughing. And when Motoya Komori realised by the serious expression he was probably making, he cursed.

“The fuck. Are you for real? Is he ok? Just, give me a few seconds! Lucky you I was going to crash Kiyo’s apartment already because he hasn’t been answering my text since last night. We will take my car!”.

And just like that, a quick drop on the couple’s apartment and a duffle bag with clothes and everything they thought a person hospitalised will need and rushed as much as they could in a Tokyo traffic day.

When they reached the hospital, the first person they saw was Hinata with an inflamed cheek and Miya with a purple eye and a bleeding nose.

“What the hell?” whispered Kourai to Motoya. “Hey, Tweedle One and Tweedle Two, did you get punched again?”.

“… Tobio started crashing when they were testing him” mumbled the ginger haired idiot and Kourai could only sigh while his hands reached his hips.

“I… I thought for second you were pulling the worst prank ever. Where is Kiyoomi? Is he alone?”.

“Wakatoshi is with him” denied Kourai like texting the other spiker.

“I didn’t even think Omi-Omi knew how to throw a punch” the joke from the blonde idiot felt short, like last night joke and every other joke he tried to say since today. Hinata turned to Miya and frowned deeply, pursuing his lips annoyed.

“Come, Toya, Wakatoshi answered, he’s on the third floor”.

With that, the libero and spiker left the Jackals on the waiting room while they walked quickly to the elevator. A short trip later and a kind nurse directing them to room 3018, they saw Kiyoomi vacant expression looming silently in an empty bed, his gaze empty and not acknowledging anything at all.

“What happened?” asked Kourai as he entered, the uncomfortable gaze from the other spiker made the shorter one notice how bad Wakatoshi was at comforting but even so, he never left the other alone as he quickly made space for the libero and walked towards Kourai.

Motoya didn’t take any time to cut the distance with his cousin and hugged the shit out of him, that is all Sakusa needed to start weeping hard, Kourai could only see how his shoulders, broader than his cousin, shook so hard that made his stomach twist.

“Wakkun?”. Whispered worried Kourai to the taller one.

“They were testing him earlier, just taking blood and trying to wake him up, but when he tried to talk, he started convulsing, they took him to intensive care since then”.

“What even happened?” asked annoyed Motoya hiding his cousin head on his chest while turning his face to Wakatoshi, that gaze was worse than the one Hoshiumi received earlier.

“From what I understood, Hinata-kun was trying to help Tobio find a girlfriend”.

“He has a boyfriend. Is he dumb?”.

“It seems he doesn’t know?”.

“No shit, he can’t shut his mouth for shit that is why he doesn’t know!”.

“Anyways, Miya said he made Tobio eat cake with weed so he would unwind and… you know… have sex with a girl”.

“He h-hired a h-hooker” the whisper came from Kiyoomi who was gripping his hand so tight that the veins on his hands were popping out.

“… A-a hooker?” asked again Motoya glancing the curly head of his cousin who only nodded.

“… I didn’t know that” said Wakatoshi.

Hoshiumi started to count from a hundred backwards, inhaled and exhaled.

“Ok, and then?” asked again to the only other person who seemed to know more, Wakatoshi shrugged his shoulder but continued speaking while looking worriedly to Kiyoomi.

“Tobio ate two cakes… it seemed he did indeed spend the night with the… woman, and he woke up this morning barely able to talk. He can’t stand and keeps vomiting everything”.

“Are we sure it’s just weed?”.

“Miya said it’s only weed, that Bokuto ate the same”.

“Have someone tried to talk to Bokuto?”.

“Miya tried to talk to him but didn’t answer”.

“Ok, shit. Ok, someone knows where he lives? Friends? We need to get in contact with him now”.

“I know Yaku-kun is his friend” said Wakatoshi frowning.

“Yaku is on Russia, Wakkun. Someone here! Isn’t he a bestie of some Jackals? Sakusa?”.

The man had stopped crying, but his eyes were as red as they could be, he seemed to think for a second before reaching for his phone.

“I do have his emergency number since last year when he had that accident while training” said with a raspy voice.

“Ok, yeah, call them, better, give me your phone and I will call them” Kourai extended his hand to get the others phone, Kiyoomi pushed the screen and the shorter spiker could see the name Keiji Akaashi on the screen.

Hoshiumi had shitty memory for people who weren’t volleyball v-league related so he didn’t even try to remember him, he just tried to encourage Sakusa with a tight smile and stood outside while calling the number.

It took trying to reach three times before the number picked, it was after all Sunday morning.

“Sakusa-san?” a deep and tired voice came from the speaker phone and Hoshiumi steeled himself and spoke with curt and serious voice.

The rustling and intake of breath of the other side said everything he needed.

“Which hospital are you?” asked while the sound of keys and closed door reached his ear.

“Will send the direction, even if he’s ok, bring him so he can get tested”.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, he will get tested” there was something dark in his voice and Kourai hummed along.

A quick goodbye turned into something else when a nurse opened Tobio’s door and found them all in. Sakusa following the woman like she had all the answers of the world.

“Sorry to interrupt, we’re searching for Tobio-san’s emergency contact. It is Kiyoomi Sakusa-san here?”.

“Yes! I am” Sakusa stood quickly, his face turning even more pale. “What happened to Tobio? Is he ok? When will I be able to see him?”.

“Great, Niita-sensei would like to speak to you about his condition, if you could please follow me? Your friends can wait here” she smiled politely but not giving anything at all, the three of them watched him go worried shitless.

“Do we press charges?” asked Motoya worried, who wouldn’t? This escaped from every scenario they imagined last night.

“Oh, I hope so, Miya really fucked up this time, not gonna lie” spat Kourai while Wakatoshi hummed tilting his head to the side.

“If Kiyoomi-kun or Tobio-kun press charges, that meant the end of Miya and Hinata’s career”.

“… They should have thought that first”.

“From my understanding, Hinata-kun never knew Miya-kun drugged him or hired a sex-worker”.

“That doesn’t mean planning to get your friend so drunk that he would do almost anything is alright, Wakkun”.

“You might be right. Are they still downstairs?”.

“They are” Toya’s tone was tired even for being barely ten in the morning. “I can’t believe Kiyo really punched Miya and Hinata”.

“Three times, he punched Miya-kun three times and threw Hinata-kun on the floor the first time, he has a cracked rib, and then punched the second time”.

Kourai and Motoya blinked slowly while processing the new information which made them laugh deviously.

“I never knew he had it on him!” it must be the stress, but the corner of Motoya’s eyes were wet too, and Kourai realised his own eyes were wetter than before. Though his friendship with Tobio came from long days of harsh training and deep understating on what they never seemed to reach common ground, they were good friends.

A lethal pair on the court as much as Wakatoshi and him, a friendship forged on the court that extended on their personal lives.

“I hope he gets well” prayed Wakatoshi.

“We all do, Wakkun”.

They waited on the room, the tension never leaving the room, until the door opened again and Kiyoomi just sat again on the sofa he was sitting and started to weep again like the world was ending.

Motoya

Motoya tried his best to be supportive, the state of Tobio was delicate, they couldn’t move him from ICU, had a machine helping him with getting things out of his stomach. The lab tests were being screened as they waited, and Kiyoomi hasn’t been able to drink or eat anything for the last five hours.

“… Tell them to go, I don’t want to watch their faces” whispered Kiyoomi and Motoya could only nod, he didn’t need to ask for clarification as to whom he didn’t want to see, Kiyoomi was taking his time reading and filling all the information needed on the health forms, every bit of information he knew about Tobio and his illness and stats was neatly written with dates, medicine and time he took to get well.

It was that kind of hyperfocus Kiyoomi did when everything was moving too fast and wrong, he organised everything else and Tobio’s forms looked like another doctor completed it.

“I want him transferred to the clinic” he keeps whispering statements to no one, like a list he was making out loud.

I need to purchase another sleep wear for Tobio, I don’t want the one at his house getting dirty here.

I need to ask the nutritionist the best diet for recovery.

Tell them to go, I don’t want to watch their faces.

I want him transferred to the clinic.

By the clinic he meant the family clinic that every Sakusa family member went, the one nearby their apartment.

“Do you need help talking to the family doctor?”.

“No, I requested this hospital to e-mail every result to him and to ask for corroboration on the praxis, he will come later tomorrow to see Tobio and check if it’s possible to transfer him the following days”.

Kiyoomi prepared with obsessive attention to detail, they might not be able to enter ICU, but he took the visit room near Tobio’s room and made it his own, the duffle bags were here, Kiyoomi even brought his tea cup so prepare his own tea, a blanket was covering the corner of the sofa and papers were neatly pilled as he completed every form and took notes of every words the nurse and the doctors said to him about Tobio.

It was the most unbalanced he has seen Kiyoomi in the last two years, he keeps pilling the folders and papers from size, colour and importance, kept the pencil in a 90 ° angle from his gaze, kept cleaning the table in front of them every thirty minutes so no dust settled. He keeps turning his head towards the nurse bay waiting for any update on Tobio. He got strongly reminded that Tobio wasn’t the only person in intensive care, and they would tell him if they had any news on him.

Wakatoshi was in charge of bringing food as it was nearing two in the afternoon. He could stay with Kiyoomi the rest of the week as he was still on holidays, but Motoya will need to come back to train on Wednesday.

Hoshiumi, on the other hand, was talking with the Adler’s coach and the conversation seemed going pretty bad looking at the frown being given by the white-haired guy.

Kiyoomi, on the other hand, just sent an e-mail stating he will take emergency leave, and he will reach out again when he had some news.

To just charge his absence from the paycheck.

The good thing about being rich is that things like money never really bothered them, auntie Kana keep texting worried on Motoya’s phone, as her son wasn’t in any capacity of doing small talk.

The silence was broken by the sound of a pencil scratching the paper. Wakatoshi arrived later with bag full of food and Hoshiumi took that instance to cut the call, groan and pocket his phone as he turned to the corner where Kiyoomi was holing himself up.

“I’m not hungry” snippy, Kiyoomi denied the food but neither of them was having it.

“When Tobio wakes up he will need you to be on top condition if you’re going to nurse him to health again” said Kourai while pushing again the onigiri box towards him.

The bags under his cousin eyes were deep, tinted red by the constant crying and stress, his pale skin contrasted even more with his dark hair, in just one morning he seemed to be falling into pieces.

“Umi is right, Kiyoomi-kun. Let’s just worry about one of you” grumbling, the spiker grabbed one onigiri and ate in small bites, slow and clearly trying to eat forcefully. It was a slow process, no one was hungry but ate anyways, doing small talk in this type of situations left them with a silence that made Motoya’s ears ring.

He didn’t even know how much time has passed, just that they were looking at the table with a fixed expression when the low and deep voice of his cousin broke the uncomfortable silence.

“I proposed to him” like ice chilling their veins, the words broke their silence with painful awareness of what was happening now. “He said yes…”.

“Is that why you asked for me to come this holiday to Japan?” asked Wakatoshi surprised.

“We wanted to do a small gathering next Friday, he reserved a venue… We… we planned to invite you this week, tell you there, plan our wedding in Italy, a beach wedding so we can play beach volley afterwards… We…”.

We had so many plans, was what Motoya heard from all the rambling Kiyoomi was saying, their plans full on the table.

“… Would you” asked barely whispering anymore, like a candle in the middle of a storm, turning his body towards Wakatoshi. “Would you be my best man?”.

“Of course,” answered equally low, sadness surrounding his acceptance and Kiyoomi nodded, uncertainty sipping throw his gaze. Then he kept writing. Needing the distraction with never-ending tasks.

“He wanted Hinata to be his best man” whispered again, voice acid as he felt, torn and hurtful.

“I’m sure he will think twice now”.

“He should, right?”.

They didn’t speak again, Kiyoomi leaving all the documents on the nurse bay and waiting again for any news. Hoshiumi brought tea from the cafeteria, half the food Wakatoshi bought still on the centre table.

Barely after four in the afternoon the doctor came looking grim, Kiyoomi gripped Toya’s hand painfully, even then, he let him, scared about what was to come.

“Sakusa-san, do you want for me to deliver the news- --”.

“Here is fine, what’s happening to Tobio?” interrupted his cousin and the doctor nodded, omitting Kiyoomi’s lapse at interrupting him.

“The lab test came with some worrying results. We did, in fact, detect drugs on his system. We found boric acid in concentrated forms, it’s a common and dangerous compound when preparing drugs, it’s toxic to the body and can produce nausea, vomiting, stomach pain, rashes, skin peeling ulcers, seizures, among others. Kageyama-san’s body rejected the drug earlier than normal due to his high performing body, he had no body grass to hold the drug, that provoked the early symptoms and seizure. We’re now talking with Nakamura-sensei on his treatment. He will arrive tomorrow morning for a presential check-up. If everything goes fine, he can be transferred the day after tomorrow”.

“He… he was poisoned? With the drugs?”.

“Yes, he also tested positive to cannabis and amphetamine”.

“Are there permanent secondary effects? How long is the recovery time?” asked in quick succession Kiyoomi.

“My medical opinion is that Kageyama-san should be hospitalised at least for five days to see his evolution and test his organs. Acid boric is known to produce kidney damage, disruption of blood circulation and even coma. Though the dose wasn’t lethal this time, his body is weak due to the severe secondary effects from earlier this morning. For him to start feeling better it could be around two weeks, he will need specific diet because his esophagus is presenting signs of being burned from the drug use and vomiting. Sakusa-san, just to be sure, does Kageyama-san usually take drugs?”

“No!” the denial came from everyone who sat on the sofas, the doctor smiled uncomfortably.

“I need to be sure because if he’s taking high performing drugs, I need to know so we- --“.

“Tobio would never touch drugs!” defended again Kiyoomi. “His stupid best friend thought it would be funny to get him wasted to… to hire a hooker and…”.

“Kiyo, breathe. The doctor is just asking because he needs to know. I believe he nows understand that this is a one-time event where we all would prefer not to keep talking about”.

“Did you say hooker?” asked sharp the doctor, his voice unyielding and eyes hard with suspicion. They could only nod at the change of approach. “Ok, I will need to ask for a STD exam, just to be sure”.

That sentence seemed like a verdict, and it made Kiyoomi whine, Motoya’s hand was turning purple and Hoshiumi seemed to find the hospital ceiling very fascinating. Kiyoomi’s right hand hid his face, clearly not wanting to showcase how what the doctor said made made him feel.

“Are you sure this is the first time he did this? His other sexual partners will need to do a - - -“.

“He was sex assaulted” said viciously Kiyoomi, furious expression under his hand that now showed just his eyes, the mask under his nose seemed to get bigger like a balloon as he was breathing harshly against it as he keeps talking, his face was turning redder. “I won’t sit here and listen to you smearing my fiancé reputation for some other people who don’t know what loyalty is” spat merciless.

“Ok, I will proceed with putting the order for testing both of you, you’re welcome to reach out at any given time the nurse bay to request it the test to be done, I will leave the order open”.

He turned and left, clearly pissed off at Kiyoomi’s words, but not more than Kiyoomi who seemed mad with the need to throw another punch.

“I want Tobio transferred from this petri dish!” he turned to look at Toya, eyes alight with hate, clearly because he was the one holding him back by the hand that was turning purple.

“I know, I know”.

That day was spent watching Kiyoomi fuse over everything and making turns not to leave him alone so he wouldn’t chew the medical staff for breathing too hard.

The following day, Motoya was already waiting with Hoshiumi and Wakatoshi, both ever patient of Kiyoomi snippy comments and hurtful words.

“Are they even showing Nakamura-sensei this place or are they hiding him on the ER so their underpaid medics could get some rest?!”.

“Of course not, Kiyo. I will go to the nurse bay and request that Nakamura-sensei comes to gi… Oh, there he is!” he pointed glad at the Sakusa family doctor, an elderly man, his regal posture clearly depicted a life career that followed him everywhere. He approached the nurse bay to ask something and then turned where they were sitting, said something back to the nurse who attended him and walked to them with purpose.

Kiyoomi stood as well as everyone else, bowed the right amount to the man who was in charge of their health and then waited.

“I will skip the small talk, Sakusa-kun, as I know you want answers” Nakamura-sensei’s eyes flicked towards the organizing ritual Kiyoomi had on the waiting room, his OCD clearly spilling the worse of his overworking brain.

“That would be ideal” answered his cousin back, short and biting his tongue.

“Among the poisoning scale, Kageyama-kun is right in the middle. His symptoms where proportionated to those. He is stable in his delicate state, he only had one seizure up to this time and if he keeps it that way, we can runout some other side effects. It’s a three-week time recovery, I already asked for them to transfer him tomorrow, though this hospital isn’t bad, there is not enough equipment for some of the test we need to do, I’m concerned about his kidney, I hope minimal damage to be expected but as Kageyama-kun is a professional athlete, any damage not taken care of could be room to early retirement”.

The sharp intake of breath was collective and devastating.

“When can you do those exams?” asked right away Kiyoomi, demanding and unyielding.

“We will evaluate after his transfer, if he has not relapsed, we can test him as soon as possible”.

“Please do. Do I need to sign any other form for the transfer?”.

“No, you have already done everything you could, Sakusa-kun. And trust your partner, the reason he kept vomiting so much was his body rejecting the poison by itself, a purge so to speak. He’s a healthy young man; he will recover from this”.

In which capacity has yet to be seen, but at least Tobio was not on death’s door. They all bowed grateful and saw the man walk again towards the nurse bay to retire some folders, and as Kiyoomi sat like a broken doll on the sofa, his breath took the mechanical rhythm of the relaxing exercises the psychologist taught him.

“Let’s not think about it” interrupted Hoshiumi seriously, his expression unforgiving but also trusting. “Tobio-kun is stubborn, so let’s trust him better. Maybe better we prepare a beach wedding when he recovers” Toya huffed but nodded, knowing well that the best change to get his cousin out of his spiral of pessimistic scenarios was entertaining him doing something equally as stressful and demanding, but with a happier ending.

“Let’s. Maybe you should move the venue for your announcement? We can do a smaller one on your apartment. Tobio will hate to push your schedule as much as you do” goaded Motoya to Kiyoomi who vaguely nodded but neither agreed nor disagreed, he was still processing all.

“Sakusa-san?” interrupted the nurse out of nowhere making them all jump startled “We would like to discuss tomorrows’ transfer, please follow me”.

Kiyoomi steeled himself again following the woman with little time to mope, Motoya saw him go worried not only for him, but for Tobio who has still not woken up.

“Do you know the venue?” turning his back towards Hoshiumi and Wakatoshi, Motoya got in all business stance.

“No” answered Wakatoshi at the same time Hoshiumi said “Yes”. Two pair of eyes focused on him who quickly opened the phone and started searching for something. “Wait a second, I received Tobio’s message a few days ago… There, I resent it to you, Motoya. It’s the same restaurant where they celebrated their two-year anniversary”.

“Great, that means they know them. I will call to cancel the reservation, Wakatoshi, would you mind searching for a small catering option?”.

“I don’t know the right people, but let me ask Satoru for some contacts in Tokyo”.

“Good, Hoshiumi, I suppose Miwa-san doesn’t know so maybe you could… talk to her? Also, I don’t know Tobio’s friends beside you guys” said awkward the libero, that made Hoshiumi laugh and nod.

“He doesn’t have too many, but yeah, I will talk to the ones I know”.

It wasn’t until Kiyoomi returned that Motoya realised they all needed to do something besides waiting, because it was killing them. Even if it meant planning for a reception maybe being held in two more months.

Kiyoomi

Today marked the third day of Kiyoomi Sakusa’s worst nightmare turned into reality, watching without blinking Tobio’s breath in and out. He wasn’t as pale as the day before, but he also hasn’t woken up, nor talked, just grumbled from time to time, but nothing else. This quietness was killing him.

Kiyoomi’s phone never stopped ringing whether for notifications or calls, they didn’t knew much, just that Tobio was in a bad condition, all due to the type of disease he has, the NDs on the hospital were tight, the medical staff knew better now that gossip about his fiancé on the corridors, more worried by the hefty sum of yens they would have to pay if the press realised what Tobio has and why.

Hinata, every hour, sent him a text asking for Tobio and saying sorry, Kiyoomi stopped reading them and didn’t dignify a second to answer them. Miya, on the other hand, got blocked all together, the second missing call being enough to bother the spiker so bad that he threw his mug to the floor trying not to answer and yell at him over the phone.

It wasn’t enough, it will never be enough, his bruised knuckles wanted more than a few punches, they wanted smeared blood on the floor and endless pain. Miya’s and his own, because there were no way the pit on his chest will recover if Tobio lost anything at all.

His ability to play volleyball.

His capacity to be so dumb and charming at the same time.

His foodie tendencies.

His honest smile.

Just himself and everything that Kiyoomi felt for, himself and no one else.

The forms to fill-in on the clinic were numerous, but Kiyoomi tackled everything like he did yesterday, with all his attention, slow and steady, writing everything neatly so no one would read wrong his characters, giving enough descriptions to depict the whole picture, hating every time he writes drug, sex-assaulted and poisoning.

They took Tobio right away and Kiyoomi could only wait at the corridor again, hoping to see if he will be able to enter the room this time.

Miwa had called in the morning worried sick about everything, saying she will drop in the afternoon during lunch. His mother couldn’t wait anymore, saying she will travel and be there during the morning and to not worry, Toya would help her arrive.

When he dropped the documents at the nurse bay, the male nurse checked and nodded smiling softly. “Good news, Sakusa-san, Kageyama-san is awake, tired and he might not remember this episode, but he has opened his eyes, and the doctor deemed his condition to be stable enough to let you meet him for a little bit before exams. Should we prepare you to enter ICU?”.

He never had nodded so quick before, his feet following anxiously the nurse, Ishimoto-san, towards the new appointed room on 2308. He dressed on a chemical suit, got thrown a gas, put another face mask just to be sure, globes for his hands and shoes, a hair mesh to avoid anything else.

This preparation made Kiyoomi understand how compromised Tobio’s system was, Tobio who was slowly blinking at him, trying to decipher who was the one behind the suit. He stood right by his bed, archiving everything on him, how sunken his eyes seemed, his skin a few shades lighter, greyer, paler than Kiyoomi which had him worried since yesterday, Tobio always sported a nice honey tan thanks to his grandmother that came from Italy, the same country Tobio will move in a few months.

He held Tobio’s hand with care, touching each finger longingly. Not knowing what to say, just waiting for the other to speak, hopefully.

“Kiyo” whispered with a raspy tone and coughed.

“Can he drink some water?” asked Kiyoomi as he glances back at the male nurse who was waiting calmy on a corner.

“Sure, let me bring some. Not too much as he hasn’t eaten or drank something since yesterday, little sips here and there until he’s more comfortable swallowing”.

Then Ishimoto-san pushed some buttons on the bed, and it sat Tobio somewhat, the movement not agreeing fully with him as Tobio complained.

“I know, Kageyama-san, your stomach is still sensitive, but we need you a little bit sat, so it will be easier for you to keep the water down. Here, I will let Sakusa-san help you drink”.

It was a slow process, holding the tiny cup on Tobio’s pale and chopped lips, watching him swallow with pain, turning his head right away, like the water burned. Then again, slow and painful. Resisting the pain and doing it anyways because they all knew Tobio needed to drink by himself.

“Do you remember anything?” asked softly Kiyoomi as he left the cup on the table, Tobio nodded after a while, clearly, he had a hard time focussing.

“Sorry” it was the first word Tobio told him directly, the only it seemed he could say so far, and it made Kiyoomi’s chest compress, he shook his head furiously and held the other’s hand with care, not wanting to grip too tight. But the mask felt hot on his face and he clearly realised why later. “Don’t c-cry… Kiyo”.

It was like the doors were opened and the flood just… came, he was an ugly crier and he knew it, Tobio tried to reach but his body was too weak to be anything but an attempt to move, they made such a pair, the one in the bed trying to comfort the one standing.

“N-no, please, just… give me a few seconds, was so scared, so worried” whispered hiding his face behind his left hand, he tried to control his breathing, slowly at first. His eyes burned but not as before, and though his stomach felt tight and queasy, it was bearable.

“So bad?” Tobio’s voice was incredibly low, not even a whisper, more like a fadeaway echo.

“Yes, there was another drug on the cake, not just cannabis, you got poisoned from it” the summary was short and to the point.

Tobio was slowly blinking, like a cat that has just woken up, he didn’t say much after that, just staring at the wall lost in thought. Kiyoomi wasn’t good at filling the silence, but he hoped his presence was enough to comfort the other who seemed so lost in a bed that wasn’t their own.

“The wench” said low and devoid of any feeling the setter, acknowledging her existence made Kiyoomi shiver in disgust, he pursued his lips behind the mask but maybe his frown gave him away more than he thought it should, he wasn’t used to hold anything that he thought, not like Tobio who got used to bottle things up during middle and high school.

“Don’t, I refuse to even…” he shook his head in denial, not even knowing what the point was. The hand that he was holding slowly moved to grip weakly his fingers, not needing to fill the gap.

“… Sorry, sh-should h-have known-n s-somethi’ wasn’t o-ok” Tobio’s cough was persistent after speaking and Kiyoomi helped again with sips of lukewarm water.

“No, you don’t have to apologise for that. Just… I’d prefer for us to turn that page, it wasn’t a decision at all, Tobio, so I won’t think of it at all” whispered back.

His words might carry care and comfort, but it wasn’t something that Tobio could delete from  his mind and Kiyoomi to forget so easily in his, he stopped blaming Tobio the moment he saw him at a hospital bed, but he would never forget what Miya and Hinata took away from them, he was a resentful man and would paint a very clear picture of the consequences of their choices.

The silence was broken by Nakamura-sensei who tried to smile politely, a chart with many documents on his hands.

“Niita-san, a minute please” with that, the nurse took his leave just outside the room not undressing, just giving them the space needed for this conversation.

“How is he?” Kiyoomi decided to sit, not wanting to risk having another weakness spell due to all the bad news.

“Not as good as I hoped, but better than yesterday, that’s for sure” started Nakamura-sensei. “Kageyama-san presents low signals of kidney damage, nothing too serious if treated correctly. His esophagus presents considerable damage; he will be in strict liquid diet for the first three days first to help his healing process. He’s still purging some of the acid boric solution of his system so we will keep him hydrated with IV. It’s to be expected in this upcoming weeks mass loss, weight loss, fatigue, lack of appetite, low motor control such as problems with grabbing things” as the doctor keep listing every consequence, Kiyoomi’s frown went deeper and deeper, feeling his mood, Tobio’s fingers taped his wrist with a non-verbal command, to ease the frown, to not get too strung.

“Also” added the man like the eternal list wasn’t enough. “I’d like to schedule in 10 more days a STD test due to… the acknowledgement of having intercourse with a sex-worker, I urge you, Sakusa-san, to do the same on the- --“.

“No” Kiyoomi denied it like the last bastion of his and Tobio’s relationship, he denied it, drawing the line of what was being unsaid to him, that Tobio cheated before, that Tobio didn’t take care of him, that he was a bad partner. “I already told the other doctor; this was a one-time event and not a decision being taken” spat with venom.

“Do it” whispered Tobio without blinking, half-sat and pale. The setter grabbed his hand gentler, like he always did, playing slowly with Kiyoomi’s fingers just as he always did when they were watching TV: grounding, understanding, loving.

“No, Tobio! This lack of self-respect! What they’re telling me of you!” what Kiyoomi thought for even a night of him, and how erroneous that thought resulted to be.

“I hide nothing from you” whispered with a tiny smile, barely there, but a smile, nonetheless. “Therefore, I have nothin’ to hide to them. Let me show t-them how b-bad they’re assumin’ our relation…ship, let’s show t-them” the short speech Tobio did made Kiyoomi’s desire to punch someone again stronger.

The fact that they had to prove they were faithful, the fact that Tobio felt he needed to do this!

Disgusting.

Shameful.

Hurtful.

Kiyoomi nodded just because Tobio kept watching him, worried he will say no, already trying to sit again and talk even though it was hard.

“Ok, ok” whispered back and nodded to the doctor whose semblance was grim. He didn’t need to say something to Kiyoomi, he already knew that look, the one that said it is always the cheaters. He bit his lower lip furiously, but decided against keep fighting with the medical team, they could try to guess, but since yesterday Kiyoomi was done with people meddling in his and Tobio’s relationship. “How long until he can be moved to a normal room? Is his immune system so compromised?” asked to change the topic the spiker.

“Just a safety measure, if tomorrow Kageyama-kun’s lab test come stable again, we will move him during the afternoon to urgent care, that means regular but restricted visits hours. A nurse will talk to you if the change is done”.

“What about hospitalization? How much are we talking to?”.

“At least five days more, on Thursday we will re-evaluate Kageyama-san’s stay in the clinic. Any more questions?”.

Kiyoomi denied as he watched how Tobio blinked away, sleeping.

“If that’s all, I’d have to ask you to step aside for now, Sakusa-san. Tomorrow you will have another hour to see him”.

When Kiyoomi went out to the visiting room, Motoya, his mother, Wakatoshi and Hoshiumi were already there, all talking lowly until they saw him, he didn’t know what appearance he had, but it must be bad if his mother started to sob as soon as he reached them.

“Oh, honey! Look at you! Toya-kun, give the bag so Kiyoomi can eat something, hospital food is not for growing men! Poor Tobio-kun, probably he’s all wanned and with how much he likes to eat!” she rambled when nervous, it was her trait, fussing over her youngest child, trying to fix his curly hair that neither yesterday nor today wanted to stay put; pushed him until he sat with a bento full of homemade onigiri.

Fussing. Caring. Worried.

Her words trying to sound reassuring and bring comfort just twisted the metaphorical knife in Kiyoomi’s chest.

Tobio wouldn’t be able to eat for a few days, he barely could drink water.

“Aaaand?” Hoshiumi was never the one to be subtle, used to the attention from his straightforward personality.

Not that he and Tobio were better.

At least he tried.

“He woke up”.

“That’s good news!” said happily Toya at his other side.

“Indeed, I was worried he would fall comatose”. At those words from Wakatoshi, Hoshiumi kicked him hard on the chin making the taller spiker yelp and frown.

“Wakkun, that’s something you think, not say” added the white-haired spiker.

“Oh…”.

“Well, I too was worried about that, to be honest. His kidney does have some kind of damage, not severe. He’s on liquid diet and IV… He won’t be able to eat in three days. Tomorrow, they will tell me if he’s moved from that room and… and he has difficulty talking due to all the throwing-up”.

He decided to leave it at that, not wanting to talk about STDs, the wench, as Tobio called her, like a monster behind a closet.

“Can he receive more visits if he’s moved?” asked Hoshiumi and Kiyoomi nodded along, looking at the onigiri but not hungry at all.

His mother reached for his forearm, grasped it with gentleness and smiled sadly at him, her curly hair with the same frizz as his own, clearly from all the stress from this situation.

“Tobio-kun will need you and us to be strong for him right now. Let’s do our best too”.

And that is what they did. The week passed slowly, the rest took turns visiting Tobio, but Kiyoomi never left the spot unless it was time to leave. Luckily for him, the setter indeed started to feel better on the third day, his skin still pale, he wasn’t able to speak too much nor drink, but he stayed awake more often, asked for matches to be put on the TV and also tried to do his hand training when it was just him and Kiyoomi.

Routine was something both of them thrived, a set number of task to complete, exercises to accomplish and goals to achieve.

Coach Suzaku was not happy with the news, though censured and highly edited, they just said that Tobio went to a friend’s friend party and someone tried to drug him which ended in him poisoned. As this was his last year as an Adler, they were hoping to milk every tournament with his stellar setter.

On the other hand, the Italian team seemed worried for his recovery, asking what type of diet and exercises he will do after he was giving the discharge papers, offering some of their own technical trainers to travel and help them with the process while still in Japan.

Tobio accepted, because of course he will recover, but also told them there was no rush as the doctors were optimistic about his recovery, and they were. The setter was nothing but strict with his body, doing everything he could to have the best routine for it to develop in a volleyball machine.

He never denied medicine, complained about tests or nurse visits, always answered when asked about his pain level, if he picked something uncommon from his body, and ate the exact proportion they told him to eat. Even if it was difficult. He was, for lack of better term, a perfect patient.

“You’re doing it a-again” Tobio’s voice was firmer, the deep baritone Kiyoomi was used to, but still stuttered from time to time.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”.

“The face of I hate the world, let me punch it a little bit face” he said with a smirk and that made Kiyoomi chuckle but neither accepted nor denied the concept.

“I did punch someone”.

“In plural”.

“I’m surprised you know that word”.

“Don’t avoid, Umi told me everything”. The thing about Tobio was that he just… accepts, and in accepting find pleasure in each individual personality.

In Wakatoshi’s honesty.

In Hoshiumi’s gossip skill.

In Motoya’s easy temperament.

In Kiyoomi’s stance to burn the world.

His blue eyes were as they should, clearer, focused on him, as they always should be, would be and will be. Only him.

“They deserved it, I don’t regret anything”.

“I regret not remembering it at all”.

“You had a seizure, Tobio”.

“If Umi was there, he’d have filmed it”.

Kiyoomi conceded while nodding and smiled comfortably from the side of the bed, the sofa was as close as the bed as it could with all the machines and medical wires, his posture was horrible, having to incurvate himself to have his elbows on the bed, so they could talk to each other with some semblance of normality.

He missed the evenings on the sofa, whispering under Tobio’s neck, uncomfortably squeezed between Tobio’s side and his own desire of not having any space between them.

The days passed slow and painful, but it all came to an end when Tobio was discharged 14 days later, on a wheelchair and a ton of exams and appointments to be done, all scheduled from the haematologist to urologist. It was sadly when they were signing the discharging papers that the nurse remembered them of take the STD test that was already booked.

Neither Tobio or him answered verbally, just nodded and when the test came and went, they both watched with keen attention how the blood was taken from them and how it disappeared on the trail to be screened, Kiyoomi fell silent when they took Tobio to another room for urine samples and physical swabs, same as him. With each bottled and sealed sample, his expression was thunderous. Two weeks later, the answer came.

“It’s positive for chlamydia. Kageyama-san will have to go under treatment, refrain from having sex until after you’re discharged. If you have contact with previous partners, call them back and ask them to be tested. The treatment consist on…” it was the short and to the point. Doctor Nakamura keeps talking, Kiyoomi’s hand growing colder as he kept talking and when he tried to grab Tobio’s hand he was denied, like a wall had just started to build between them.

“Is it dangerous for men? How is it transmitted? Do I need to sleep alone?” for each question Tobio asked, Kiyoomi felt like he was watching someone else life happen, like it wasn’t his Tobio who sat on the left side asking to leave the sanctity of their room, asking how to keep him at bay.

“It’s a highly contagious disease, but it’s mainly sexual. So, no sexual or genital contact at all. Though it cannot be contagious due to kissing or hugging, it could be if there are bodily fluids such as semen, or pre-ejaculate fluids. One also doesn’t get infected while sharing a toilet, for example”.

“How long does it take to be healthy again? Or it’s a permanent disease?” asked worried the other.

“Lucky for you, it’s not permanent. Though antibiotics do their work on the seventh day, it’s recommended to test for it again at the third month before suspending the antibiotics”.

Yes. This was a nightmare, Kiyoomi was sure of it, he was in hell and he was living in it. Returning to the apartment was a silent episode, no hand holding, no shared gazes, no soft music. Just silence and a chasm between them.

A chasm Kiyoomi didn’t know how to fill, how to reach, how to surpass. He entertained himself on the kitchen trying not to make a single sound while he watched from the corner of his eyes how Tobio moved his stuff to the guest bedroom that had its own bathroom, how he started cleaning everything he touched, how he shifted away from him while Kiyoomi tried to reach out.

“… The rest are planning our wedding announcement”. He dropped the news as a life jacket, the last fortress of their relationship.

Dinner was getting cold on the table, Tobio tried to eat his special dish but was slowly nitpicking everything and blinked lost in thought at his words.

“Ok”.

“Ok?”.

“Yeah. Wasn’t that something we were planning for?” the question came like a knife on his chest, taking away every breath and air in his body.

“Is it still a plan?” asked in heartbreaking fury.

“… you don’t want to anymore?” this time, the question came like a whisper, hurting and barely acknowledging what was happening.

“I don’t want to get married?! What the hell, Tobio?! You’re the one moving your stuff from our room! You’re the one refusing to touch me! YOU’RE THE ONE WALKING AWAY!”.

With each word Kiyoomi said, with each thought that suddenly fell in a scattered puzzle, the picture being taken wasn’t pretty, nor the one he depicted them both to live, away were those Sunday evenings eating leisurely, the dog he wanted to adopt that before seemed like a mix-breed because Tobio felt sad of those poor guys who were unable to have a home because they didn’t have a breed seemed even further away.

Dinning with their families, holidays across the world, lazy mornings on their bed, whispers of future plans, all gone.

Gone.

Forever.

“Kiyoomi” a hand reached out pushing him away from the tumultuous thoughts overwhelming his mind, Kiyoomi blinked shocked first at the hand grabbing his own strongly, his breath elaborated, but when his eyes fell on their joined hands, his stomach lurched a little.

Who would have thought that too-clean Kiyoomi, too-mindful-of-his-hygiene Kiyoomi would hate when someone touched him with a pair of medical gloves. Where the hell did Tobio find those?!

Why was he touching him like that?! Was that even considered touching? No! Kiyoomi liked for other people to “touch” him like that: with a barrier between them, diffusing the heat, sweat and sensitivity.

Not Tobio.

Never Tobio.

“Toya was right” Tobio’s words were measured, it made Kiyoomi not only frown, but groan and hate everything spell out of those sinful lips.

“Don’t talk about him!” jealousy wasn’t a pretty sight, Kiyoomi had already told Tobio how insecure he felt about him being best friends with his cousin even if his own cousin called him an idiot because he wasn’t picking Tobio over Kiyoomi, nor Tobio was picking Motoya over Kiyoomi.

It was an unfortunate luck that Tobio and his cousin were friends before Kiyoomi even started seeing Tobio as his own friend, they were in touch after Junior Camp while Kiyoomi just lived his life until a fateful encounter with Wakatoshi and Tobio on his university days.

“We should go to couple’s therapy… And I need to take individual therapy too” declared like it was a done deal.

“The only thing you need to understand is that you better kill yourself if you even think about breaking up with me over this!”.

“Kiyoomi! No!”.

“NO?!”.

The frustration on both sides was increasing, mixed speech, conversation understood in halves, the chair rattled on the floor and Tobio crossed the table to Kiyoomi’s side to, with those despiteful gloved hands, touch his face making him wince at the latex on his cheeks.

“Who the fuck told you we will break up?” the whisper, full of bitter hate and spite made Kiyoomi’s mind halt. “Who the fuck told you those dirty lies on your head so I can crush them on the floor like the pieces of shit they’re for telling you such lies”, vicious and promising words that sang on Kiyoomi’s ears like honey. “Who?” asked even lower, a rumbling with a promise.

“… You moved your things out of our room, Tobio. Our room” whispered back brokenly, barely holding on the tears, he felt he cried more in this month than in all his life. Kiyoomi felt tattered, out of character, broken.

“You idiot” the peaceful sigh Tobio left calmed the upcoming storm, he sat this time next to Kiyoomi, like they used to, those deep blue eyes watching him carefully and lovingly.

“You moved” insisted again still mad about the change.

“There is no way in this life I will let you go… Unless you want me to” he knew he put the worse frown of his life when he saw Tobio’s lips bloom in a small smile.

“Like hell”.

“Exactly” added the setter. “I’m not moving forever, Kiyo, just for now… You heard the doctor”.

“The doctor said no sex”.

“Yeah, and I don’t control when I pop a boner because you look sexy as hell” Tobio’s shit-eating grin shouldn’t be so sexy, but it was. Sinful and warm at the same time.

“Tobio!”.

“Moreover” added Tobio, this time, seriously. “I want to wait for those three months; I won’t risk you over anything just because I can’t hold it for just a few months… and… I need to talk about the wench with somebody- --“.

“No”.

“Kiyoomi, no. Not like that… She made me uncomfortable, with myself. I never approached women because I don’t feel attracted to them, and she… did what she did and I don’t remember anything… I… don’t know how to feel about that”. It was a clear discomfort for Tobio and Kiyoomi could clearly see it.

From both it was Kiyoomi the bisexual, he didn’t care about gender at all, but Tobio was strictly gay, too uncomfortable with woman, not attracted enough beside knowing they were cute or pretty, he just… froze when a woman made a pass at him much to Kiyoomi’s merriment before.

Now, just thinking about it made it all sour.

“Why couple’s therapy?” understanding and not really bothering for the individual one, he has been trying to reach the same conversation with Tobio, too scared to even broach the topic by himself and that is why he sent his traitor’s cousin.

“Because though we both know… it wasn’t a conscious decision being made, it still affected our relationship. We need to work it out”.

He nodded not knowing what to say, but also understanding it was also something they should work out together.

“We have all the time in the world, Kiyo, I know we’ll work it out”.

Maybe it was because it was the most comfortable they were since the last few weeks, maybe it was because it was Friday, maybe it was for many things, but neither him nor Tobio had talked about the next step of their relationship. Until now.

Kiyoomi was scared.

Tobio? He seemed like he didn’t know what to do anymore. But Kiyoomi knew something, knew something that both he and Tobio agreed on even after all this chaotic crisis.

“We are still going to get married”.

“We’re still going to get married” echoed his words his fiancé nodding along and smiling charmingly at him.

“We couldn’t do the announcement like we planned”.

“Oh” he said slowly, frowning. “I kinda forgot”.

“Obviously, that’s why Wakatoshi, Motoya and Hoshiumi are helping”.

“Mhmm”.

Tobio chewed his lips frowning, clearly not happy with all this situation.

“Stop it, you might tear something!”.

The silence was uncomfortable again and Tobio on the chair next to his seemed to come with a question that he knew he wouldn’t like.

“Are you sure?” asked serious, for the first time, Kiyoomi saw how worried he was, his eyes dropped, ashamed of himself, that made something broke inside him again, but also steeled his heart and words.

“Did you like it?”.

“No!”.

“Did you ask for it?”.

“I can’t remember shit of that night, Kiyo, I swear!”.

“Are you curious about it?”.

“Fuck no!”.

“W-was she prettier?” whispered embarrassed of his own question. Insecure. It was the question that made Tobio gape, clearly don’t knowing what to say. “F-forget it”.

The silence was killing him, she was prettier, wasn’t she? All soft when he was pure muscle, longer curly hair, fair skin. Tobio always enjoyed when his bangs where longer.

“When I woke up” Tobio broke the silence with a serious tone, the one he used when he asked him out, the one he used when they fought over buying an apartment or a house, the one he used when he wanted something. “I woke up on the wrong side of the bed” he blinked like trying to remember something of that day, but clearly it wasn’t coming right away. “I knew right there and then that everything was wrong, because you sleep on the left side of the bed, you barely let me sleep by myself, when I wake up, you try to grab me, always complain, always try to ask for kisses and morning sex” said smiling, he looked soft, so soft, his straight hair like the perfect curtain for fluttering eyelashes and eyes.

It made Kiyoomi’s eyes burn.

“You always complain I wake up too early, but when I come back from running, you are ending your Pilates routine with the kettle already on and half of the breakfast done so I can finish it. But that day, I woke up on the left side of the bed, Kiyoomi, I woke up and you weren’t there” his voice wavered, broken, his eyes for the first time in all this time blinking to fight against tears. “I don’t want to wake up like that again, don’t make me wake up like that again”.

“Y-you didn’t answer” Kiyoomi tried to change the topic, he felt too raw watching Tobio like that, the man tilted his head, blinking slowly, his blank expression so similar when he didn’t understand why Kiyoomi was being so insistent on him buying cotton-based clothes instead of lycra.

“Her hair remembered of yours… does that event count? Yours is prettier, you don’t have split ends, hers did… she was kinda shabby?”.

At first, Kiyoomi didn’t realise he was rumbling approvingly, but the sincere smile Tobio gave him, besotted, charming and soft made him realise he was, like a satisfied cat purring for his favourite food.

“Good”.

“Good”.

They didn't spoke another word, not needed, not wanted, they will get over this like all the other things that happened with life, but Kiyoomi would say months later that he felt he could breath freely when Tobio moved across countries and he followed suit a few months later.