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[It is nighttime, at an improvised theater set up under the arch of a bridge in Treno. It is the premiere of the gossip-play Can a Canary Catch a Monkey? co-written by Stilzkin and Moguo. A few dozen moogles comprise the overwhelming majority of the audience. They whisper excitedly, waiting for the play to begin, then fall silent when Moguta unties a noose, releasing scavenged drapes to cover both openings of the arch.]
[Act I opens on a stage figuring the steeple in downtown Alexandria, near the river. A large bucket is suspended, upside down above the stage, a rope dangling from inside. On either sides, old bedsheets are painted in vivid colours representing stained glass. Enter Grimo as Ruby, as the audience politely claps. He is wrapped in a fancy blue pillowcase, looks behind his shoulder carefully as he approaches center stage.]
Grimo as Ruby
Psst, hey!
[Artemicion, as Kupo, peaks his head down from inside the bucket.]
Artemicion as Kupo
[To the audience]
Alexandria sleeps, so who goes there?
Could only be an actor or a thief.
Grimo as Ruby
Hey buckaroo, it's Ruby, come on out!
[Artemicion flutters down from the bucket.]
Artemicion as Kupo
[To the audience]
Right on both counts!
[To Grimo]
Well met! Would you like to make record, kupo?
Grimo as Ruby
T'day no thank you, though I do have a note,
Adress'd to Zidane in Lindblum pretty please.
Quite urgent I'm afraid. And quiet hush-hush.
Poor girl you'd hear her moan when she's alone:
"How far the simple things, the silly dreams.
How long it's been, this thrill. I must see him!"
Or sumth'n like that!
[Mogmi carefully takes a piece of paper from within her pillowcase and hands it to Kupo, who grabs it, nods and futters back up. In the back row, Dagger, also known as Queen Garnet Til Alexandros XVII and Zidane Tribal, huddled together on a plank, both wearing cloaks are whispering to each other while the action continues.]
Dagger
[shaking her head]
I can’t believe this.
Zidane
See, told you Moogle theater was the stuff!
Dagger
The stuff’s embarassing is what it is!
If we were not Icognito I’d have
to hide my face in shame and die right now!
[Act II opens as the stage figures an inn's room. A banged up, brass standing ashtray figures a coffee table and a small crate covered with a small sheet, a bed. Enter Mogrich, as Moodon leisurely flipping through a large record book. Enter Mogrika as Zidane Tribal, a piece of rope figuring a tail tied around her waist and dangling behind her, absentmindedly walking all the way acrosse the stage before pausing, then back.]
Mogrika as Zidane
Oh, heya there, Moodon! Nice weather, right?
Mogrich as Moodon
Indeed, the fourth day this week in a row,
At least that is what you said every time.
[To the audience] And there have been so many times, you see.
T'is nice to see such faith in Mognet, now,
And yet Zidane's impatience knows no bounds.
Mogrika as Zidane
[Looking unconcerned]
Oh, really? Well, I guess I should just go.
Mogrich as Moodon
See you tomorrow.
[To the audience] Hm actually, didn't I receive something?
Mogrika as Zidane
[Suddenly turning to face him]
For me?
Mogrich as Moodon
[To the audience] Oh my! Right there, do you see what I mean?
No respect for convention. Anyway.
[To Mogrika] I've got it right in there, kupo! Shall we read?
[Mogrich looks behind the crate and brandishes a piece of paper, which Mogrika eagerly snatches and unfolds. They both peer at it.]
Mogrika as Zidane
"To Zidane.
Tell me, will Ipsen come home soon enough,
to where a sharp accomplice chose her name,
to ask why Colin did such a big thing?
See you next week."
Mogrich as Moodon
Oooh!
Dagger
Zidane, do you read secret notes out loud?
Zidane
Well it's the Moogle custom, am I right?
Dagger
Zidane...
Zidane
Heh, heh...
Hey, only sometimes, I swear, don't get mad!
[Act III opens as the stage figures a clearing near Dali. A silver plate hangs, figuring the moon. Enter Mogmi, as Queen Garnet Til Alexandros XVII, also known as Dagger.]
Mogmi as Garnet
T’is the place.
[She looks around, apprehensive. Enter Mogrika as Zidane Tribal.]
Mogrika as Zidane
T’is the time!
[They run to each other but slow down before touching and circle each other for a second.]
So how’d it go, my darling? Any trouble?
Mogmi as Garnet
Oh hardly. We’ll have all the time we need.
You know how often I have slipped away.
Mogrika as Zidane
Good this ain’t something Steiner’s eyes should see.
Mogmi as Garnet
Zidane, please!
Mogrika as Zidane
Of course, of course… So, learned your lines, my queen?
Mogmi as Dagger
Of course, of course… I trust you have as well.
Mogrika as Zidane
No sweat, I do this for a living, right?
Mogmi as Dagger
Then let us start this. Ipsen, Act three, Scene-
Mogrika as Zidane as Ipsen
Four weeks!
Mogmi as Dagger
Uhum! Scene four.
Mogrika as Zidane as Ipsen
Right, four weeks! Where do these damn marshes end!
Mogmi as Dagger as Colin
The map said east. The Mist obscures the Sun.
Without our compass we can only guess.
Mogrika as Zidane as Ipsen
Alright, I'm sorry 'bout the compass, friend!
Don't need to keep reminding me, I know.
Mogmi as Dagger as Colin
No worries, Ipsen, keep your wits about.
No marsh nor mountain will both claim us yet.
Mogrika as Zidane as Ipsen
But say, dear Colin. Were we not to live.
Mogmi as Dagger as Colin
We will.
Mogrika as Zidane as Ipsen
But, Colin, Treno was so good to you.
I must ask you. Why did you come with me?
Mogmi as Garnet as Colin
My friend, only because you asked me to.
Zidane
Now waitta minute! That line isn’t right!
It is “Only because I wanted to”!
Dagger
That is what you said in Madain back then.
Zidane
Of course, I had played Colin twice before.
Dagger
So you’ve told me, but listen carefully.
I found a copy of that play back home,
Inside the castle’s library, and…
Zidane
And?
Dagger
The line was not the one you said back then.
I wrote to Doctor Tot about it and
In his opinion, I quote: “Princess! Such
A curious thing, this play, while out of style,
was quite a success long ago, you see.
Its original language was neither
The one they speak in Lindblum nor the one
you speak back home in Alexandria.
Which leaves the possibility that one
translator thought it à propos to change
this line…”
Zidane
Nerd.
Dagger
Takes one to know one. No original
Print was recovered as it turns out. There.
Zidane
Hm…
But what if…
Dagger
What if?
Zidane
But what if both translations are right, now?
Dagger
You mean if there was an ambiguity?
Zidane
Some languages are tricky that way, right?
Call it an educated guess, will you?
Dagger
Nerd.
Zidane
Takes one to know one.
Dagger
An interesting theory.
Zidane
I like mine line better.
Dagger
Do you mean the other would have been wrong?
I don’t.
Zidane
Ha ha!
Dagger
Teehee!
Zidane! Look there, no way! How scandalous!
[Mogmi, as Queen Garnet Til Alexandros also known as Dagger, and Mogrika, as Zidane are sloppily making out on stage, as per tradition, while the crowd erupts in cheers.]
Zidane
See, told you Moogle theater was the stuff!