Chapter Text
Till hated the stereotypical football jocks, and as they came into orbit, the same hatred for annoying cheerleaders—people wearing confidence and superiority as armor, a sour attempt at hiding their insecurities. He didn’t fall for it. He wouldn’t fall for such false facades; it was stupid. So what? He felt anger, he felt depressed at some points, he hated himself—but everyone did—and he wouldn’t hide that.
There would never be an exception to the way he thought; the rule was finite.
And then Mizi came into the equation.
She had consumed his thoughts, his notebook pages—endless drawings depicting her in such an ethereal way. He paid attention to the way her smile fell onto her face easily, how gently she moved and treated others. Before meeting her, life was dull. He had no motivation—nothing to chase. But after opening his eyes and seeing the beauty right in front of him, it was like he was transported into a different world. His rose colored glasses were on, and all he could do was notice the way his heartbeat quickened and the way his chest tightened when talking to her. He chose to observe from afar, constraining him to an endless cycle of yearning.
Till was too busy grumbling about who knows what when walking in the halls, too busy to notice the person walking in front of him. Too busy to notice them until they slammed into each other, notebooks and pens flying. School supplies scattered across the floor as he mentally checked out of the situation, a note now in his head to pay attention to his surroundings. He was ready to brush off the interaction until he looked down.
The apology that was on his lips was short-lived as he froze. Suddenly, they weren’t in school anymore, surrounded by people. It was just him—just him and Mizi. Time seemed to slow down, with a gust of wind appearing in the space that only happened in movies.
Pink hair spilled over her shoulders, her cheeks flushed, widened with surprise. She looked unreal, like a perfectly painted portrait. He blinked once, twice, three times, trying to shake off the feeling rising in his body.
Yet he couldn’t.
Because right here, standing in front of him, was Mizi, cheer team captain in all of her glory. He should be feeling annoyed, yet instead, all he could focus on was her beauty. He stood still, like an idiot, before extending a hand, stuttering out an apology. She should have felt untouchable—like a dream you never quite reach.
“Sorry, I.. I didn’t see you there.” He shoved his head down in shame as he felt weight on his hand, pulling her up, and stared into her golden eyes. Up close, they held a new fixation in his mind. He got lost in them, the way they reflected light, reminding him of rich dripping honey. He felt the flush and heat on his face, and he knew how foolish he looked right now.
It seemed like the moment would last forever. Mizi’s undivided attention on him, just the two of them against the world. That was until he heard someone clearing their throat—loud and deliberate.
Till’s eyebrows furrowed as he leaned slightly to the side, peering past the girl still holding his hand.
A boy stood behind her—too close to be some kind of accident. His posture radiated confidence, broad shoulders, and the school's red football jacket on display. He was relaxed in a way that seemed almost practiced—like he planned out every interaction in his mind before they even occurred—like he knew everything would go his way. Till's eyebrows twitched, swallowing a bitter taste. The dark-haired man wasn’t smiling, but Till couldn’t ignore the amused glint in his eyes, gaze flicking between him and Mizi.
Till stiffened, heart dropping. Of course.
He didn’t know the boy personally; he had never cared to dive into the athletics of the school, but one look and he knew everything he needed to. He knew he would take up space in a room without even asking, who moved in the world like everything should be handed to him on a silver platter. This was the kind of guy Till had actively avoided throughout his whole life, and here he was proving every stereotype he’s ever created right.
What pulled till out of his monologue wasn’t the football player in front of him, but it was Mizi pulling her hand away. Till could sense that the silence had stretched too long; such a sweet moment now turned sour. She flashed Till an apologetic glance before turning to the boy behind her.
“Sorry,” she spoke, her voice light, delicate, and free. “Did you need something?”
He noticed the boy’s gaze lingering on Till for a second too long before quickly shifting back to her. His jaw locked so hard it began to ache. “The teacher is looking for you,” he said. His voice was calm, like he did not worry about the world. He talks effortlessly and pays no mind to the girl standing right in front of him. The feeling felt like static under his skin. He was treating the situation like it wasn’t important when Till’s whole world was just flipped upside down.
Till hated that the man's charm worked.
Mizi sighed, rolling her eyes. “Of course she is.” She glanced back at Till, offering a small smile—polite and warm, though it couldn’t mask his disappointment with the situation. He was devastated that the interaction had to end here. “Sorry. I should go.”
“That’s—yeah,” Till managed, nodding too quickly. He couldn’t believe he had let her go like this.
She slipped past him, disappearing into the crowd just as easily as she’d appeared, leaving behind the faint scent of her shampoo, a delicate, fruity smell. It left a taste on Till’s tongue he couldn’t quite name.
He turned back just in time to see the football player still standing there.
Still watching him, observing with an emotion in his eyes that Till couldn’t quite recognize. It made him feel smaller.
Till raised an eyebrow, non-verbally asking what his deal was. Waiting for a reply, he began to look over the man in front of him. Without Mizi in the way, he could see the unbothered expression on his face. The confidence that he radiated left a sour taste in Till's throat. He could slightly remember seeing him throughout the hallways, throughout growing up. But it wasn’t a familiar memory–it was something distant. Till didn’t care then, and he didn’t now. Wasting time on jerks like him was pointless.
The boy tilted his head slightly, like Till was something to be curious about. Like a bug under a microscope that he has free rein to poke at. “You always walk around with your head in the clouds,” he asked, “or is today special?”
Till’s jaw tightened. “Mind your business.” Something flickered in the boy’s eyes. Surprise, maybe. Or interest. Till didn’t care, didn’t pay any unnecessary attention to the way his red eyes gleamed.
Instead of snapping back, he smiled. It was small, but it was just enough to reveal a snaggletooth. He could tell it wasn’t genuine, that it wasn’t an inviting expression. The man in front of him irritated him to no end. Till watched him turn and walk away, the crowd parting without resistance, and he felt irritation build in his chest.
He exhaled sharply, raking a hand through his hair. The noise in the hallway he was just ignoring now rushed back at him, all at once. He tried to focus on it—to calm himself down, but everything just felt muted and faraway. His chest was still tight from the interaction, his heart beating in his ears.
Suddenly jumping at the voice behind him that was not there before. “Wow,” he could hear the amused tone in their voice and already knew who it was. He scoffed. “You look rough, Till, what’d I miss?”
Craning his head behind him to see Hyuna leaning against the lockers, he finally let his body calm down, heartbeat slowing. He took a good look at how she was standing—arms crossed, one eyebrow raised. He could tell she had been there for a while, which made the situation worse.
He didn’t want to deal with an interrogation right now. He certainly wasn’t in the mood before, but this just heightened any feelings of discomfort.
“Nothing. You didn’t miss anything.” He rubbed his temples, sensing that the answer wasn’t enough. “I’m fine.” Scoffing as he walked towards her.
A small hum escaped from her lips. He knew she wasn’t convinced, noticing her gaze all over his body. They stopped at his fists. “You are spaced out in the middle of the hallway, fists clenched, with an irritated face. That’s not something to overlook with you.” He hadn’t even noticed that he was doing any of that; he quickly released his hands and shoved them in his pockets.
He turned away in one step and walked the other direction with a sigh. “Don’t start—not right now.”
She stepped closer, following him in tow. A knowing look on her face. “It’s Mizi, isn’t it?” He didn’t bother to answer; he didn’t have to. The silence was telling enough.
Instead of a teasing expression, it softened, revealing a sweeter one. “You know,” she started slowly, “if you never say something, someone else will.”
Swallowing at the heavy, unwanted advice, Till quickened his pace. He let out a small shrug, muttering something incomprehensible. What did she know? Hyuna, as much as he loved her, was like them in a way. She had a boyfriend, friends, was popular, and Hyunwoo was a part of the crowd that Till despised. She interacted with the group of people she despised most–hell, she was probably friends with the man Till had just interacted with.
“Just think about it.” She began to walk ahead of him, and he took that as a signal to leave the conversation behind.
Walking into his first class of the day, he tried to ignore the situation; he truly did. But he couldn’t shake something out of his mind. The way the man from before seemed so careless when interacting with Mizi, Mizi of all people, brought up a worry in his mind. He hadn’t paid attention to the talk at school. He never cared, as it didn’t benefit him, but now, it might.
He sat through classes, mind switching from daydreaming about Mizi to settling on an uneasy feeling in his stomach about the situation. He hadn’t been paying attention throughout the day until his brain picked up on a discussion in the class before lunch.
“Did you hear? Someone saw Ivan and Mizi walking in the hall together!” One girl giggled, giving her friend a knowing look.
“No way,” she paused, before starting up again, “do you think they're dating?” The girl shrugged.
“Hard to tell. They hang out a lot, so probably.” They both looked slightly annoyed at that piece of information. The other girl played with her hair, twirling it between her fingers. “Do you think they’ll go to prom together?”
She hummed, giving the information a chance to soak in. “Probably. He would definitely bring a poster in–ugh! Mizi is so lucky, what I would do to get Ivan to look at me.”
“I know! He seems like such a romantic, he would get flowers and all.” She laughed, putting her hands to her chest before deepening her voice. “Oh Mizi! Would you go to prom with me? We go so well together, black and pink complement each other really well.”
And that is when Till ceased his attention to the conversation. He didn’t care; all he knew he needed to do was act now. The jock from before–whom he now knows as Ivan–was possibly dating Mizi. And that upset Till deeply; the girl he had pined over was just whisked away like that.
The bell cut off his train of thought, signaling the start of lunch. Startled, Till stands up abruptly, chair clattering behind him. He glanced at the two girls sitting next to him, once gossiping, now silent, but he paid no mind and ran out of the classroom. He knew such behavior was unlike him, but frankly, a lot of what he was about to do was unlike him.
Searching the halls of the school in search of what he needed, admittedly, did take a bit. As soon as his eyes landed on the tan girl, his pace quickened, and his breath stopped. Taking his wrist in her hand, he stared into her eyes. “Hyuna, we need to talk,” He glanced at the blonde man beside her, not a single care for him “alone.”
She glanced at the two people talking to her, an obvious internal dilemma going on in her head. Yes, Till was being selfish right now, but he didn’t care. At least not for now. “Till..” She hesitated, “I’m a little busy right now.” She took her wrist away from her hand, a sympathetic look plastered on her face. Till rolled his eyes. “You can talk to Luka later, this is important.” He emphasized the importance, trying to get her to understand the urgency of the situation at hand.
As Luka rolled his eyes, Till frowned at him. He seriously couldn’t take up all of Hyuna’s time; she needed to talk to her friends, too. ‘Whatever, go talk to Till. Ivan needs me today anyway,” He paused, his harsh tone fading. “I’ll catch up to you later.” After flashing a small smile to her boyfriend, Hyuna let herself be dragged away by Till.
“Till, buddy, where are we going?”
“Uhm–to the library?” Where else would they go? Privacy was needed in a situation like this.
“Okay.. why the library?” Till didn’t understand why her tone was so confused when she was the one who urged him to do something about this situation earlier. “You literally told me to try and do something about my situation earlier.” He paused, glancing back at her, “And now I am, but I need your help.”
Her eyes widened, which confused Till. Yes, this might be sudden, but why would he give her advice like that and get surprised when Till followed it? Pushing open the large library doors, he shoved Hyuna into a chair. Wincing at the harshness of the chair as he sat down, he muttered a quick apology before staring her dead in her eyes.
“Okay, slow down. What are we doing about.. This predicament? And why so suddenly?” he sighed, rubbing his temples. “Ivan and Mizi may be dating, and I need to know if I have any chance of dating her or not.”
Hyuna paused as Till said this, before throwing her head back and letting out a beckoning laugh. He raised an eyebrow, confused at the sudden mood change. Why was she laughing? What about this situation was funny? If she seriously found humor in his misery, he was going to bury himself in a ditch. He stood up abruptly, going to walk off, before she grabbed his wrist. “Whoa, slow down.” Now it was his turn to be shoved down into the chair.
“Let me get this straight..” She shook her head back and forth, a smile still etched onto her face, before she clicked her teeth. “You think Ivan, of all people, is dating Mizi?” Till was speechless. Hyuna obviously knew something he didn’t, wanting more information, he slowly nodded his head. She exhaled, getting the final laughs out of her system. “Oh, you poor child.. Luka was right, you are stupidly oblivious.” Luka wasn’t even involved in this, so why was he being brought up?
His eyes narrowed, suspicious as to what Hyuna was implying. ‘What–what are you talking about?’ he felt small and stupid as Hyuna just gave him a smirk. “It’s nothing, you’ll find out.. eventually.” Till nods, deciding not to dwell on the situation.
“Do you know where Mizi usually hangs out, Hyuna?”
“Uhm—around the stairwell area.” She sounded confident enough, he nodded and got up from the chair. “Thank you. I’ll send any updates your way.” She smiled, waving him off.
Till knew what he had to do next. He walked through the halls, finally catching his eye on Mizi. She’s laughing softly at someone—light seemingly catching in her hair like it belonged there. She slipped her bag into her locker, closing it with such delicacy. She moved like she belonged there, like a swan moving gracefully in a lake, before walking off. Her soft presence eased the cold feeling creeping up his neck.
He gulped hard, head pushed back against the wall. It was now or never. “If I back out now, I will never get this far again.” He muttered to himself, before walking to the nearest classroom. Peeking his head inside, he pulled out a chair and sat. ‘Even if she already has someone, I need to put myself out there.’ He was hopeful, a small smile falling onto his face.
He took out his paper and pencil—treating the paper as softly as he could. His hands shook as he slowly inched the pencil closer to the paper.
“Dear Mizi,”
“Mizi,”
“I notice the way you smile—“ He crossed it out aggresively—too much. Way too much. He didn’t want to come off desperate, he wanted her to be aware.
“I know this is stupid but..” He trailed off, working diligently. Stopping at points, at a loss for how to describe how he felt. Till narrowed his eyes as he switched from the pencil end to the eraser end, trying to frame his feelings perfectly.
His tongue licked his dry lips, leg bouncing up and down. He read over what he had written, understanding the vulnerable situation he was in right now. He took a deep breath, chest rising.
He wrote one final phrase, “if you have anything to say to me in person, meet me by the gym entrance at the start of next period.”
As he exited the classroom, he stepped towards the locker. He’s cautious, but aware. He ran his hands over the dents—taking note of the hello kitty stickers scattered across it. He paused. The locker number looked right. The stickers were unmistakable. Pink, soft, unmistakably hers.
This is it, he told himself.
His hands shook as he slowly put the note through the locker crevice, before walking away.
His heart screamed in his chest, something unfamiliar blooming underneath the fear. He felt so many different emotions—he couldn’t name them all. Some were unfamiliar, but he knew he felt certain he did everything right.
The bell rang loudly, breaking Till out of his spiral. He moved with urgency towards the gym entrance, waiting with hope.
Students flooded the halls. He searched through each individual, waiting for the familiar bright pink he had yearned for. He felt like he could fly, stomach brimming with excitement.
Until his body tensed, catching sight of black hair he had seen earlier that day. His jaw clenched, heartbeat speeding up for a different reason. He narrowed his eyes—brushing off Ivan’s appearance, a mere coincidence.
He scanned his body as he came closer, until his eyes landed on something in his hand.
A paper, a note.
Till’s letter. For Mizi, in Ivan’s hand.
His stomach dropped. His fists clenched, light headedness taking over his body. “What are you—why are you here—why do you have that?” He spat, trying to regain some confidence. The man in front of him hummed, body moving ease, a stark contrast to Till’s current tense frame.
“Imagine my surprise when I opened my locker to find a love letter, not from a girl,” His scrutinizing eyes took its time scanning over Till’s body, “but from you.” Till’s eyes widened, lips quivering.
“But.. you, that’s—that’s Mizi’s locker.” Ivan let out a mocking laugh, making Till narrow his eyes. “You mean my locker? Mizi simply uses it from time to time.”
His smirk radiated confidence. “Didn’t think you would ever mind.” Something in Till snapped, he stepped closer towards the taller man. “Don’t be an asshole. That wasn’t meant for you.”
Ivan gasped, his superiority complex being ever so obvious at the moment. “You mean, this letter,” he dangled it in the air, “wasn’t for me? It was so sweet.” He cooed, a slight blush appearing on his face. Till knew it was fake. He wanted to run away and hide.
“I just wanted you to know that someone saw you.” His tone was mocking, tears brimming Till’s eyes. “How cute. I felt touched!”
Ivan’s eyes lingered on him. “You meant that, didn’t you?” The tone of his voice broke something in Till. He let himself be vulnerable, and this is where he ended up.
Till didn’t know what brought on him snapping, but in one second, before Ivan could react, his fist was collided with Ivan’s face. He stumbled back, letter dropping from his hands, face going through a roller-coaster of emotions. “Some people just snap easier, don’t they?” Till had no time to understand what he meant before he was slammed against the wall, a ringing filling his ears. He clenched his eyes, letting out a small grunt. He could hear the gasps—could feel the crowd forming around them. He didn’t care.
Using all of his force, he pushed against Ivan, knocking him to the ground. He straddled his lap before punching his face—hit after hit. It was aggressive, fast, and pathetic. His arm was stopped mid air, catching him off guard as their positions flipped. He tried to catch his breath. But everything was too fast.
Ivan pounded on his face, not letting him catch a moment's breath. His vision turned blurry, but nothing could erase the expression he saw on the man's face. A smile—a real smile—was plastered on it, blood rushing down his nose. He seemed exhilarated, huffing as he relentlessly used his strength on Till.
Till barely registered when the hands grabbed him.
Someone was shouting—his name, maybe. Or Ivan’s. He couldn’t tell. He didn’t care. The world felt distant, muffled, like his head had been dunked underwater. His shoulder slammed into something solid as he was pulled back, fingers digging painfully into his arms. He gasped, chest heaving, lungs burning as if he’d been holding his breath for far too long.
“Break it up, now!”
“What is going on here?”
“Ivan and Till?”
The crowd dissolved into noise. His vision faded as he tried to focus, blinking hard. His knuckles throbbed, an ache forming that he knew would stay. Blood—Ivan’s—smeared across his fingers. His hands were sticky, a harsh reminder of what had just transpired.
A sick feeling began to curl in his stomach. He felt like he was dying, he wouldn’t fight it off if it were to be true.
He glanced up. Ivan was on his feet again. Of course he was. He could see the red football jerseys behind Ivan, hyping him up. He scoffed.
Someone had a grip on his collar. His eyes narrowed in on Ivan, attempting to soak up the anger he had just caused. But Till paused, confusion storming inside of him. Ivan didn’t look shaken—didn’t even look agitated. If anything, Till would describe his expression as… amusement. A smear of red trailed from his nose down to his lip, staining his teeth when he smiled. A real smile, like the one that Till glanced at when Ivan was over him. Not the mocking one from before. When he had held the letter.
Till looked away, something brimming underneath his skin. He could feel the heat travel up his neck. It brought him back to Earth.
“Both of you. Office. Now.”
The voice cut clean through the chaos, bringing him to the current reality at hand.
Till didn’t argue. He didn’t have the energy to, he knew it was pointless.
His legs felt like they might give out at any moment, but he forced himself forward anyway.
Murmurs followed him like vengeful spirits—following him as he walked down the hallway that seemingly stretched forever. He hated it. He could feel their stares, feel the rumors speculating now. He wasn’t some toy at auction that people could talk about—and he certainly wasn’t some character in a story others were writing.
They walked in silence. Till was hyper-aware of Ivan beside him—the steady pace, the way he moved like nothing had happened. Like he hadn’t just been slammed against a wall. Like he hadn’t just read Till’s heart out loud and laughed.
The office door shut behind them with a dull click.
“Sit.”
Till did. The chair felt too small, too hard. His hands trembled in his lap, so he clenched them into fists again, ignoring the sting. Across from him, Ivan dropped into his seat with infuriating ease, leaning back like this was nothing more than an inconvenience. Till scoffed.
The principal sighed, rubbing her temples. “Would either of you want to enlighten me on how this fight transpired?”
Silence filled the room.
Till swallowed. His throat felt raw. “He—” His voice cracked. He stopped, jaw clenching as he tried again. “It got out of hand.”
Out of hand. Like it was an accident.
Ivan hummed softly beside him.
The principal’s gaze flicked between them. “This isn’t the first time either of you has caused problems—not with each other at least.” She leaned back in her chair. “You’re both lucky this didn’t result in suspension.”
Till’s stomach dropped.
“Instead,” she continued, “you’ll be serving detention. Together.”
He stiffened.
“Cleaning classrooms. Assisting teachers. Staying after school.” Her tone left no room for negotiation. “If I hear one complaint—one—this turns into something much worse. Am I understood?”
Till nodded quickly. “Yes, ma’am.”
Ivan tilted his head. “Crystal.”
The principal stood, signaling the end of it. “You’re dismissed.”
Till was out of the chair immediately, moving toward the door like it might disappear if he didn’t reach it fast enough.
“Till.” Her voice was harsh.
He froze.
She looked at him gently—too gently. “Whatever is going on with you, I suggest you find a better way to handle it.”
He nodded again, unable to meet her eyes, and pushed through the door. The hallway was quieter now. Empty. Safe. Or it would’ve been, if Ivan hadn’t followed him out. “Hey, why so fast to leave?”
Till didn’t turn around, instead he quickened his steps. “Relax,” Ivan said lightly. “I’m not going to hit you. Again.” That made his blood boil. Till spun on him. “Stay away from me.”
Ivan raised his hands in mock surrender. “Wow. Touchy.” His eyes flicked down—briefly, deliberately—to Till’s knuckles. “You don’t hit like someone who’s used to it.”
“Shut up.”
Ivan stepped closer. Not enough to touch. Just enough to crowd his space. “You know,” he said quietly, voice dropping, “you should be more careful about what you write. You never know who might end up reading it.”
“You’ve already caused enough trouble. Leave me the hell alone.” Ivan laughed, his snaggletooth coming out.
“Whatever you say Till, just know, you’re stuck with me now.” Ivan then walked away—leaving Till alone with his thoughts.
This wasn’t how things were supposed to end.
He was stuck cleaning up his mess, with Ivan of all people. He felt a shiver go up his spine. All he wanted to do was rest.