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Wynonna Earp and Nicole Haught have been best friends since they were in diapers. Their homes were next door to each other, and their birthdays were only a week apart. It was rare to see one girl without the other.
The Haughts only had one child. They traveled often, and Nicole spent most of her time with the Earps. Michelle and Ward Earp had three daughters, Willa was the oldest, Waverly was the youngest. Wynonna acted out, like a stereotypical middle child, craving the attention of her busy parents. Wynonna’s antics, whether at home, school, or anywhere else, always included a willing Nicole.
Most of their pranks were innocuous. When they were eight, they removed the labels from cans in the Earp cabinets. As punishment, Michelle required them to choose an unlabeled can every day and eat whatever was inside.
The girls thought it would be easy. On the first day, the unlabeled can contained sliced peaches. It was one of Nicole’s favorite things. The girls grinned and giggled as they ate the peaches. The next day was chicken soup, followed by green beans. They didn’t understand that Michelle was playing the long game.
The two finally realized it the day they opened a can of creamed corn. Although Ward loved cream corn, Michelle never forced her daughters to eat it because she couldn’t stand it herself.
Wynonna and Nicole unhappily powered through it, eating it all. Afterwards, when they were alone, the girls agreed the prank was dumb and that they wouldn’t do it again. They also decided to finish off the last can the next day, but wouldn’t admit to their parents that the prank was foolish.
The last can was opened, revealing creamed spinach. Ward’s favorite. He was known to eat it as an afternoon snack.
Nicole and Wynonna made eye contact. “It can’t be as bad as that corn, Red.” Wynonna was trying to convince them both.
Nicole sat at the table, waiting for the food to be prepared. “It was your idea. You should have to eat it all.”
Wynonna shoved her friend, “You agreed and helped.”
Nicole shoved her friend back.
“Both of you, stop it. Lunch is ready.” Nicole grew even paler, making the freckles on her nose stand out. Wynonna just stared down at the bowl.
“You both did it. You both suffer the consequences,” Michelle said firmly.
Ward was standing near the kitchen door, Waverly on his shoulders, watching the two girls.
“The only one being punished is me. They’re eating my spinach,” he said jokingly.
“Daddy’s strong because he eats his spinach, just like Popeye,” Waverly said happily.
“Well, you can have it back, Daddy.” Wynonna grimaced.
“Girls, that’s a treat. It tastes better than candy,” Ward added.
“I suggest you eat it while it’s hot. I’m not reheating it,” Michelle advised.
Wynonna and Nicole shared one more look as they picked up their forks.
“Oh, for goodness sake, girls. You’re acting like we’re giving you reheated pig slop,” Michelle said, using her go-to line for when any of the children complained of not liking a food.
“I think it is,” Nicole muttered.
Both dipped their forks, brought a microscopic amount to their mouths, and grimaced when it touched their tongues.
“It’s only going to take longer like that,” Michelle once more advised.
As if they planned it, both girls simultaneously took a deep breath and placed a large forkful in their mouths. Never one to miss a chance to show off her drama skills, Wynonna grabbed her throat and made a show of pretending to die. This caused Nicole to have a laughing fit. She covered her mouth so she wouldn’t accidentally spray the spinach across the table. After they finished the spinach, they told Michelle that they learned their lesson and wouldn’t do it again.
As Nicole and Wynonna grew, they kept getting into trouble with a variety of pranks. Wynonna dreamed up ideas. Nicole wholeheartedly participated in the plot. More often than not, they would get caught.
Punishments that worked for most teens had no effect on Nicole and Wynonna. No amount of grounding or removal of privileges seemed to have any impact at all. So the Earps became creative with the girls’ consequences.
At sixteen, Nicole found out that Bunny Loblaw was terrified of garden gnomes. The older woman, who lived nearby, was a busybody and a frequent target of the girls. Bunny never liked children, even when she was one herself.
The duo saved their tips from their jobs at Shorty’s Bar and Grill. In early December, they bought 69 garden gnomes and placed them in Bunny’s front yard. When Ward arrived at Bunny’s home after a panicked call to the station, he had no doubt who was responsible. He knew he was going to get an earful from Bunny Loblaw about the criminal activity in town.
“Good morning, Bunny,” Ward said with a grin as he approached the woman standing on her front porch.
“Ward, what are you going to do about this? We both know the hooligans responsible,” Bunny replied as she waved her arms around.
“It’s just a prank, Bunny,” the Sheriff replied.
“Just a prank? Just a prank? If I had a weak heart, I could have died!” Bunny exclaimed.
“Bunny,” Ward rolled his eyes and bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t tell her to stop being dramatic. He was a public official and had to act as such. “I will handle it. I’ll also take all the gnomes so you don’t even need to look at them.“
“You will arrest your daughter and her friend,” Bunny demanded.
“Do you have proof it was them? A recording?” Ward asked. In his head, he kept repeating, ‘Please say no. Please say no.’
“Of course I don’t. It happened in the middle of the night. I was getting my beauty rest.”
“Well then, there’s no evidence. I will speak with them, though. But I cannot arrest anyone without evidence. The only crime here might be trespassing, but I cannot recall any crime related to leaving garden gnomes in someone’s yard.”
“Fiddlesticks, Ward! You know it was them.” Bunny stomped her feet.
“How about this. You are probably correct, but even hooligans have rights. I’ll talk to them, but I won’t arrest anyone without evidence.“ Bunny opened her mouth to argue, but Ward continued before she could speak. “HOWEVER, how would you like to resolve this? As a parent, not the Sheriff, I can have the girls do some work around here for you.“
“Hmmmm. That does seem like a good idea,” Bunny said, contented that the girls would have some consequences for their actions.
Ward looked around the house. It was December, and Bunny didn’t have any of her Christmas decorations up. Her home was usually decked out by now. Michelle always joked that Bunny’s electric bill must double in December with all the lights she puts up.
“Why aren’t your lights up, by the way? You’re usually the first in the town to decorate,” Ward asked, as an idea came to him.
“Well, many of my lights and Christmas tree baubles were destroyed when my basement flooded over the summer. I haven’t been able to replace them, and I didn’t want to put up the tree or outside lights without everything. It wouldn’t look right.”
“How about this?” Ward grinned, knowing it would be the best way to get his point across to the girls. “I’ll have Wynonna and Nicole use their own money to replace your decorations AND put everything up for you?”
Bunny’s eyes widened with excitement. “And you will get rid of those terrifying things sitting in my yard?”
“Yes, right now.”
“Deal.” Bunny agreed happily.
🎄🎄🎄
“Girls, can I see you outside for a moment, please?” Ward called Nicole and Wynonna, who were doing their homework at the kitchen table. It was rare for Nicole to be at the Haughts’ house, even when they were not travelling. She and Wynonna shared a bedroom at the Earps’ home. Michelle and Ward have come to consider Nicole a fourth daughter. Nicole, as well, considered the Earps her parents.
Wynonna and Nicole glanced at each other before following Ward out the door. “I’ll be quick, I want to show you something.“
“Okay,” they said together.
Ward walked around behind his cruiser and popped the trunk. The girls saw a trunk full of garden gnomes staring back at them. Nicole bit her lip to keep from laughing, but Wynonna couldn’t help herself and snorted with laughter at the sight.
“You two had a little adventure last night.” It wasn’t a question.
Nicole was losing the battle to keep herself from cracking up, so she made a point to not look at her best friend, who was now bent over with laughter. It was an excellent prank in both of their books.
“That’s all the confession I need. She wanted you two arrested, ya know,” Ward said, using his Sheriff’s voice.
Nicole’s eyes widened. Wynonna either didn’t hear or didn’t care. She had stopped laughing, trying to catch her breath as she remained bent over with her hands on her knees.
“Listen up. This is what’s going to happen,” Ward said, causing both girls to focus on him. “Bunny lost some of her lights as well as all the baubles and tinsel for her tree.”
“That ugly white tree she puts in her front window?” Nicole asked.
“Exactly. So you two are going to use your own money,” both girls’ eyes widened as they looked at each other, “to buy new lights and baubles.”
“But, Daddy, we’re saving that money for a road trip after we graduate,” Wynonna whined.
“You have eighteen more months before that time. I guess you will need to get more hours at Shorty’s to make up for it,” Ward shrugged. “But I’m not done yet.”
“Oh, no. What else?” Nicole asked, thinking she knew where this was going and feared it would involve spending time with Bunny, listening to her lecture them about troublemakers.
“You will decorate her house and trim her tree this year, using all of those new decorations. Here’s a list of everything she wants, and where to put it up,” Ward grinned at their shocked faces.
Wynonna glared at her friend, “This one’s on you, Haughtpants. It was your idea.”
“You agreed to it,” Nicole grumbled.
“We’ve been over this for over ten years now,” Ward said gruffly. “It doesn’t matter whose idea it was, you were both involved. You will both face the consequences. I don’t want to hear another word about it. Today is Friday, this is to be done by sundown on Sunday.”
“Yes, sir,” they responded simultaneously. Based solely on his tone of voice, they knew if they pushed back, the punishment would become more extensive.
“Hope it was worth it,” Ward said. He closed the trunk and walked away. Since his back was to them, they didn’t see him grinning. It really was one of their more creative pranks.
“Worth it,” Nicole said after he walked away. Her friend gave her a shove, which was immediately returned.
🎄🎄🎄
Late on Saturday afternoon, they had finished hanging the new lights on Bunny Loblaw’s house and setting up her yard decorations.
“Wy, come here,” Nicole said, grinning as she pointed at something. Wynonna gave her friend a shove. Ward had missed one of the gnomes.
“Put it in the truck. We can keep it in our room.” Since the Haughts chose not to spend time with their daughter, they thought buying her a new truck made up for it. Nicole considered it as much Wynonna’s as it was hers.
“Are you little hoodlums finished yet?” Bunny yelled from the front porch.
Wynonna hid the gnome behind her back, not wanting to give Bunny a reason to have them do more work.
“Yes, ma’am,” Nicole replied, elbowing Wynonna in the ribs to keep her quiet. “Go wait in the truck,” Nicole whispered, leaving her to speak with Bunny, since the redhead was better at sweet-talking people.
Bunny walked around the front of the house after watching Wynonna climb into the driver’s seat.
“Not bad, not bad,” Bunny said. Nicole knew this was the best they would hear from the old bat.
“Tomorrow you will put up my tree and my indoor decorations,” Bunny stated like a sergeant giving instructions.
“Yes, ma’am. We will be here at 10am,” Nicole replied.
“I think not,” Bunny said. Nicole raised an eyebrow as Bunny continued. “You will be here by 7 am. No earlier. No later. With all the baubles for my tree. Understood.”
“Yes, ma’am. I want to double check that we should get all gold for the tree?” Nicole asked.
“Yes. I think it will look marvelous on my white tree. And I want all white lights.”
”Yes, ma’am. We will go to the store right now. I wanted to wait to buy the last of things until I verified what you wanted.”
“I wrote out exactly what I wanted,” Bunny told Nicole with a huff.
“Yes, ma’am, but it’s always good to double check,” Nicole said with a big smile. The smile that Wynonna called her ‘suck up’ smile.
“You seem to be a good kid, Haught. Why do you hang around that troublemaker? I know none of this was your idea,” Bunny asked the question that had been on her mind for a while.
“We will see you bright and early tomorrow, Ms. Loblaw.” Nicole ignored the question and trotted off to the truck.
Nicole had been asked that a lot over the years. Wynonna sometimes called her friend Eddie Haskell, after the kid on Leave it to Beaver who could sweet-talk adults but caused trouble behind their backs. Nicole didn’t like to be a suck up, but someone had to talk them out of trouble.
“Okay, Wy. Head to the store. She really does want all gold. Oh, she wants us back at 7am.” Nicole looked over at her friend, who was rarely awake before noon on the weekends.
“WHAT?” Wynonna gasped.
“You heard me,” Nicole laughed.
“Damn. I didn’t even know there was a 7am on Sundays,” Wynonna shook her head in disgust.
Nicole shoved her friend’s shoulder, “Dork.”
They arrived at the store and began to fill the cart with items from Bunny’s list. The holiday store was filled with anything you could imagine for all of the winter holidays. It was a temporary setup that was in a different location every year. The owners would rent empty stores, set up their own shelves, and usually sell out their entire stock by January. The high schoolers enjoyed the temporary jobs.
“The last thing we need is gold baubles of all different sizes,” Nicole said as she glanced down the aisle.
“Did she really write baubles?” Wynonna asked.
“Well, yeah, what else should she call them?”
“I don’t know. It’s a weird word.” Wynonna muttered. “Baubles. Baubles. Baaaaauuuuuubles. BBBBBBBauBBBBBBles. Baubllllllllllles. Weird, right?”
Nicole rolled her eyes and guided them to the right spot.
“Do you see any gold ones? I really don’t want to go to multiple stores tonight. What’s for dinner tonight? I’m starving,” Nicole was tired and beginning to ramble.
“BBBBBBBBBBBaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuubbbbbbbbllllllllllessssssss”
“OMG, stop with that already,” Nicole said, shoving her friend’s shoulder. Wynonna stumbled back a step, laughing.
Nicole put a couple of boxes in the cart. “Do you see any different sizes than these?”
“You need big balls or small balls?” Wynonna asked with raised eyebrows.
“I don’t know anything about balls. You’re the one with ball experience, so I’ll leave it to you. Besides, do you see this box? It says BAUBLES!” Nicole pointed to the word on the front of the box.
They looked at each other again and broke out in laughter. Nicole dated girls, Wynonna dated guys. Hence her ‘ball’ experience. It was a never ending joke between the two any time the word ball was referenced.
Wynonna shoved her friend. This was something they did to each other multiple times a day for as long as they could remember. It was their way of saying ‘you’re a goofball and that’s what I love about you’.
“Hi, Nicole.” A soft voice purred from behind them.
“Oh, hey Stephanie,” Nicole replied, trying to be polite. Stephanie got on her nerves. She had been flirting with Nicole for the last year. Stephanie was a pretty girl, but gave off serious mean girl vibes, which turned Nicole off.
“Hiiiii Stephanie,” Wynonna said.
“Wynonna,” Stephanie said grumpily. She always had a difficult time getting Nicole alone, so she usually had to put up with Wynonna interrupting her flirting.
“Maybe I should look in the other aisle, Red,” Wynonna grinned at her friend.
Nicole turned her head and gave Wynonna a dirty look and mouthed, ’ Don’t you dare!’
“But, ya know, we are in a hurry, so we probably should finish up,” Wynonna gave her best disappointed look.
“That’s okay, Wynonna. I can help Nicole,” Stephanie said, running her hand up and down Nicole’s arm.
“Oh, good. You can go with HaughtStuff here and decorate Bunny Loblaw’s tree tomorrow morning at 7. I can sleep in.”
Nicole turned around again with her eyebrows raised.
“Bunny Loblaw? Oh, yeah, I heard about the gnomes. Funny. I bet that was all you, Nicole,” Stephanie purred.
Wynonna decided Nicole had suffered enough and pushed her way between the two by grabbing another box of gold baubles. She held them up and said, “Hey, Steph, what do you call these?”
“Christmas baubles. Doesn’t everyone?” Stephanie was confused by the question.
“It’s a weird word,” Wynonna said, looking at the box.
“What do you call them?” Stephanie asked, still confused.
“Balls,” Wynonna shrugged.
Nicole took that as an opportunity to back away from Stephanie. Wynonna finally ended the encounter by saying, “Well, bye, Steph. Thanks for the chat.”
Stephanie finally realized she wasn’t going to get Nicole alone and scampered off. Sometimes, Wynonna scared her.
Turning around, Wynonna smirked, “You owe me.”
“Took you long enough,” Nicole rolled her eyes.
“I had to let you suffer at least a little,” Wynonna chuckled. “Look, Jolly Red Giant, there’s a bunch of gold ones on the top shelf.”
Huffing, Nicole shoved her friend before turning to grab a couple of boxes. She was tall, but she still had to stand on her tiptoes to reach the top shelf.
The huge ones were loose in a bin. She stretched further to grab some of those, too. Wynonna didn’t notice Nicole was on her tiptoes and gave her a shove from behind. The redhead wobbled before she fell forward into the shelves.
Unfortunately, the shelving unit was flimsy and unable to hold the added weight. Three shelves collapsed when Nicole fell into them. She landed on her back as the sound of shattering baubles echoed through the store.
From her location on the ground, Nicole watched as the large baubles dropped from the top shelf. The last bauble fell and shattered when it hit her forehead, leaving a large gash above her left eye.
“Oooohhh, BAUBLES!!!” Wynonna swore.
Before either girl could react, they were surrounded by everyone in the store, employees and customers alike. An employee pushed Wynonna away and put a rag on Nicole’s wound. Someone else called the police.
“I saw it, she pushed her,” a lady said, pointing at Wynonna.
“No, she didn’t,” Nicole said, shooing the employee’s hand away from her head. She held the rag to the cut to keep the blood from dripping down her face. “I was reaching up to the top shelf and lost my balance, she had nothing to do with it.”
It was automatic for one to cover for the other. Nicole knew Wynonna didn’t mean for this to happen.
“Either way, the police and medics are pulling up. Don’t stand up, that’s a lot of blood,” the employee explained.
The girls heard Ward’s voice as he entered the building and groaned.
“Okay, let’s clear the way here,” the Sheriff said. The concerned spectators parted to let him through. “Why am I not surprised?” he muttered under his breath when he spotted the duo.
“Shows over, folks. I need the manager and anyone who saw what happened here with me. Otherwise, move along so the medics can get in there,” Deputy Nedley said before he walked away with the store manager and the lady who witnessed the disaster. Everyone else went back to whatever they had been doing.
Ward squatted down next to Nicole, who was sitting on the floor holding the rag to her head. Ward pulled it away to inspect the wound and whistled, “How do you feel, Nic? You are definitely going to need stitches, kiddo.”
Ward waved over the medics to look at Nicole, then stood to talk to Wynonna.
“What happened. What did you two do now?”
“I lost my balance while getting something off the top shelf,” Nicole said before Wynonna could answer.
That quick response gave Ward all the information he needed. By not letting Wynonna answer, he knew there was more to the incident than Nicole’s loss of balance.
“Let Wynonna answer,” he said, giving both girls a wary look. “Remember, there are security cameras.” He pointed up at the ceiling.
Wynonna looked at her feet. “I shoved her. But I didn’t mean-”
Nicole cut off her friend and said, “We were both goofing around. Like always. It wasn’t her fault.”
Wynonna looked at her friend gratefully, understanding that Nicole would never let Wynonna take all of the blame.
“It was both of us, but it wasn’t intentional. We will pay for all the damages,” Nicole said, hissing and pulling away when the medic tried to clean her wound.
The manager had returned, winked at the girls, and said, “She’s right, it wasn’t intentional. The top shelf is way too high. Insurance will pay for all of this.”
Ward rubbed his face, now unsure if there was more to the story.
“I’m serious, Sheriff. I saw it. I gave my statement to your Deputy already,” the manager continued.
“Alright.” Ward stopped pushing. He and Michelle will speak with the girls once Nicole sees a doctor.
“Sir, we should get her to the hospital for stitches,” the medic explained.
“I don’t need an ambulance. Wynonna can drive me,” the redhead hoped Ward would agree.
“Miss, we don’t know if you have a concussion. It’s better if we take you.”
“Nicole, go in the ambulance. Michelle will meet you there.”
Knowing better than to push her luck, Nicole agreed and walked out to the ambulance.
“Wynonna, pay for your stuff and meet me at the station.”
🎄🎄🎄
Wynonna sat on the couch in her dad’s office, nervously bouncing her knee and chewing on her thumbnail. She was not only nervous about being in trouble but also terribly worried about Nicole. She was definitely getting stitches, she might have a concussion, and it was all Wynonna’s fault. What if she’s hurt even worse than that?
“That’s a terrible habit, Wy.”
Wynonna looked up and ran to her friend standing in the doorway, wrapping her in a tight hug. “Haught damn, you’re okay!”
Nicole hugged her back and giggled, “Yeah, six stitches. I’ll probably have a scar, but no concussion or anything else.”
“Chicks dig scars,” Wynonna smirked.
“Dork,” Nicole shoved her friend.
“Jerk,” Wynonna shoved back.
“Blockhead,” Nicole shoved her again.
“Nitwit,” Wynonna shoved her back.
“You’re both idiots, now sit down!” Michelle said sternly.
Wynonna wrapped her arm around her friend and dragged her back to the couch. Both with wide grins.
“Girls,” Ward walked into the room behind Michelle and sat on his desk. “I don’t know what else to do to get through your thick heads. These ridiculous pranks of yours have now gotten one of you hurt.”
“Daddy, this really was an accident.”
Ward held up his hand to stop his daughter.
“Accidental or not, I hope you see how your antics can end up with someone injured. You two were fortunate that Nicole…” Ward glanced at the large bandage on Nicole’s head. The girl was as much his daughter as the three others. It scared the hell out of him when he saw her on the floor with blood smeared on her face. “Well, I’ve been worried about you two since you both started walking, actually. Always the daredevils,“ he shook his head as he spoke.
“So, I have an idea.” Noticing Michelle’s raised eyebrow, he said, “Well, it’s your mother’s idea.” He nodded to Michelle to have her explain.
“In addition to your jobs at Shorty’s, you will both be volunteering at the assisted living center. Between school, basketball, working, and volunteering, you won’t have time to get in trouble.”
“You want us to babysit old people?” Wynonna asked incredulously.
Nicole poked her with her elbow for the second time that day, warning her that now was not the time. Wynonna took her advice and closed her mouth.
“You start on Saturday before your shifts at Shorty’s. Saturday at 10am is bingo.” Michelle smiled. “You will now be responsible for setting up and running the game. Monday night is game night. And on Wednesdays, you can help everyone get ready for Christmas or whatever else they may need.”
“Tomorrow you will finish with Bunny. Now let’s go home,” Ward added.
🎄🎄🎄
For the first time in her life, Wynonna thought Saturday arrived way too quickly.
“Hello, hello, hello! You must be Wynonna and Nicole. Your mother said you would be here.”
They were guided to a large room and shown where all the supplies, tables, chairs, and prizes were stored. They managed to get everything set up with 15 minutes to spare, which was perfect since the participants arrived 15 minutes early.
“Who else needs a card or chips? No one? Okay, let’s get this party started! Can I get a whooohoo?” Wynonna yelled across the room.
“Whooohoo!” The group replied.
After finding out the call numbers were on balls, the girls shared numerous ball jokes. They agreed that Wynonna would be the caller and ‘handle the balls’. Nicole would walk around, tend to anyone who needed it, check the winning cards, and help the winners pick a prize.
“First number is… N36… N as in Nicole 36.” A quiet laugh rippled through the room. “Don’t forget to fill in that free space, folks.”
Wynonna spun the basket and pulled another number. “G58… G as in Goober 58.”
“I like her,” Nicole heard from George in the back row.
“I21… I as in, uuuummmm… ice cream 21.”
Nicole laughed to herself. If Wynonna was already having trouble coming up with words that started with I, it was going to be a long 90 minutes. For everyone.
“O74… O as in oatmeal 74. Do y’all eat a lot of that slop here?”
“Unfortunately,” George replied. Another round of laughter echoed in the room.
“B5… B as in bbbbbaubbbbbles 5.” Nicole glanced at Wynonna and rolled her eyes.
“BINGO”
A groan rippled through the room.
“Already, Martha? You’re not cheating, are you?” Wynonna snarked.
Nicole made her way to Martha and checked the card. She read off the numbers for Wynonna, including the free space. She had a diagonal bingo.
“Winner, winner, chicken dinner!” Wynonna cheered.
Ninety minutes and many games later, Saturday morning bingo came to an end. George hung back to help them clean up.
“So you two are sentenced to do time with us old folks, huh?”
“I had fun today, George,” Wynonna said, honestly. “We will be back on Monday for game night.”
George looked around to make sure they were alone. The girls’ eyes darted to each other, eyebrows raised.
“You want to help with a prank at game night?” George whispered conspiratorially.
Wynonna and Nicole had matching grins and said, “Definitely.”