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It's a cold sunrise. The wind is making cuts on his face and Clint is forced to close his eyes to avoid something entering them but he is actually enjoying this. The sun is nothing but a line of light in the sky that turns all the dark blue of the night into shades of purple and it’s beautiful. It has become difficult to see the sun rising in New York City these days but the birds that are awakening are tweeting sweet songs already and they tell Clint it’s coming — the sun, the morning, the day, the change.
Clint is no poet but he is alive and that's all that matters.
As if on clue to ruin Clint’s thoughts of carpe diem, the robber groans in the , in front of them. Clint’s company kicks him slightly on the leg before turning to see the sunrise again and Clint asks himself when did Pietro Maximoff become so violent. It must have been somewhere between losing his sister, his powers and his mind, if the rumors are true. So Clint decides to stay quiet since it’s just not worth to comment about Pietro's adventures on the dark side — right now, at least. It dawns him that, if Clint actually thought this, then he actually has matured. Must be the death-experience or the fact Bobbi is alive again too. He then chuckles, because it seems to be everything.
“What is so funny?” Pietro asks, curious, but Clint dismisses him by shaking and then changes the subject: “Do you know where your sister is?”
Pietro immediately freezes and doesn't answer and that can mean two things: or Pietro thinks Clint wants revenge on Wanda, or he truly has no idea where she is. But Clint isn't mad anymore, he isn't even being rude or cruel; he just wants to know. Perhaps Pietro does know but tells no one because he is scared of what may happen. If it was Bobbi, Clint would do the same thing.
Okay, no, he wouldn’t. He is an Avenger and he knows no one should be spared if the person has done awful things — not even Wanda or Bobbi — and this is something Clint has learned the hard way (he always learns things the hard way) but he won't tell anyone about Wanda’s whereabouts. He is being hypocrite right now, sparing her even if she has done some real awful things, but it’s Clint isn’t doing this because she is greater than justice to him (or because they had sex). He is doing this because he forgave her and let her go, for now. She deserves some peace, mostly because it won’t stick, just like she also deserves a new life where Wanda truly has no idea what she has done to the world.
A bird flies past them when the sun finally reaches them. Clint keeps admiring the light it provides but he begins to watch Pietro from the corner of his eye. Pietro Maximoff, who is now older than his own age and sadder; who doesn’t smile as much as he used to do it; who seems to have too many burdens on his shoulders and whose body seems weaker now. Apparently, being without Wanda brings him physical changes since every part of him screams ‘I want my sister back for I do not know who am I without her’ and Clint is suddenly happy with his own abilities of moving on.
He could, of course, tell Pietro where Wanda is, but Pietro is bad news these days and she wouldn't be safe.
It's difficult to choose a side or someone to protect and save; however, it's even more difficult to hide the woman who killed Clint himself instead of the person who indirectly brought him to life. After all, if not for the House of M, he wouldn't be here.
But, if not for the House of M, a whole species would.
Thankfully, Pietro takes Clint away from his confusing musings with the sound of his voice: “Before, I always knew where my sister was.” He says and Clint notices his hands are shaking a little, and not from the cold. He doesn't know enough but he has heard some gossip about Pietro's state of mind. His sister took everything from him with the tools Pietro provided. He lost too much to save Wanda (and failed) and then lost everything to save himself (and failed again).
Clint tries to not feel sorry for him (and he also fails).
“And now?” He says, biting his condolences just like he bites the inside of his cheek.
Pietro releases his breath, a small puff of air that disappears as the next gush of wind blows straight to their faces, and he smiles in a way that is uncertain, and, at the same time, sad. Clint is sure this isn't the Quicksilver he knew. Pietro never was truly happy but right now God is just being cruel to him. Not that he doesn't deserve. “Now I don't even know where I am. Everything is like my memories and yet nothing feels the same. So I play along the cruel japes of a god because he pretends he is my sister.”
“So you knew.” Clint sighs and Pietro just laughs a broken laugh. “What brother would confuse his sister with a fake?”
A brother that used her to have power just so they would never be hurt again, he wants to say, but settles with “You're right.”
The robber moans again, more awaken than before, and this time Clint is the one who kicks him. Hard. It's because of him that they found each other, he remembers. Clint was chasing the man at the same time Pietro was enjoying a stroll at the Central Park. When he heard the gunshots, he rushed to where the sounds were leading and found Clint. Together, they quickly defeated the robber and gave the belongings back to the victim — a young girl who was coming back from a party, as she explained to them while smiling, uncertain if she should trust in them or not since they aren’t the Avengers anymore —, but, for some reason, instead of parting ways, they thought it was a good idea to be around each other after they shared that kiss. It was awkward and uncomfortable, so Clint decided to make a conversation by saying about how the sun was already going to rise. The ‘Do you wish to watch the sunrise with me’ phrase was spoken by Pietro.
But now Clint doesn't know if it was a good idea to have accepted. Being with this new Pietro is the same thing as being with his own thoughts — the darkest, the saddest, the most depressing and self-loathing thoughts he ever had — and Clint just wants the sun to rise so they can part ways without everything being awkward. And yet, something on Clint tells him that, if he just kissed Pietro, right now, they wouldn't be alone anymore. Pietro's skin is hotter than an average person and the way he kisses and touches makes it up for his awful company. Clint is starting to consider grabbing the speedster and smashing their lips together when Pietro gets up suddenly, saying: “I must go, now.” It’s when he notices that the sun is already up and beautiful but the day is still cold, something that has been happening more than usual. “Those dark days are ending and our work is never done.”
“True that.” Clint answers and gets up too. It’s too late for a kiss, now, but his subconscious seems to refuse to admit defeat, so he shouldn’t be surprised when “Let's do this next week?” gets out of his mouth. He asks this without thinking, without even considering if he wants to do this next week. An impulse, he says it to himself, I don't even know what I'm doing here, and he ignores the fact he was ready to kiss the man again.
Pietro smirks. “We'll see.” He answers, but Clint knows it's a yes. He always has time enough but likes to pretend he is busy all day and that is something it will never change. Pietro starts walking, slow like a normal person, and Clint notices he doesn't have the same energy as before. Actually, he doesn't seem to have anything else like before—but, right now, he isn’t talking about what happened with Wanda and him. Whatever happened with the Inhumans, after the fight with the Unspoken (after the kiss), took all the energy left on him; Pietro even seems thinner.
Shit, Clint really wants all his team, his first team, back. He wants Cap and Wanda and Pietro like they were, not like they are now. Is it too much to ask? Before he finds the answer, Clint says, loud enough so Pietro still can hear him: “Just so you know—” Pietro turns to look at him, intrigued, and Clint remembers their first missions as good guys. And the kiss. And the way Pietro smirked at him a few seconds ago. He smiles then, as charming as he can, and hopes Pietro can see it is for him. A gush of wind blows straight at him again and messes with his hair. The sweet smell of flowers tell Clint maybe everything really is changing and maybe he knows what he is doing right now. “I'll count this as our first date.”
Pietro narrows his eyes at the same time the sunlight hits them. It makes Pietro look like some type of supernatural creature, his eyes shining dangerously, the rest of his expression still darkened by the night. Even so, Clint knows Pietro is smiling that type of smile he only gives to Wanda.
Something inside of Clint flutters and, crap, he changes his mind again. He has no idea what he is doing, but he definitely likes it. And is ready to kiss Pietro again.
(01/09/2013 – 01/15/2013)
