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mack sat in the little nail salon chair with his knees pressed together and his fingers curled over the edge of the armrest, watching the tiny brush sweep across his thumbnail.
the polish was a soft pale blue, almost like the sky he saw on morning skates, and it looked unreal on his hands. he had always thought of his hands as hockey hands. rough. practical. things that gripped sticks and tied skate laces and smacked the glass when the boys scored. not hands that rested on a white towel while someone gently turned them from side to side to check the light.
the nail tech smiled at him, her eyes warm.
“you are very still,” she said. “that is good.”
“yeah,” mack said quietly. “i am trying not to mess it up.”
she laughed and dipped the tiny detail brush into white polish.
“you wanted small stars, right”
“uh. yeah. just little ones. nothing too crazy.”
he heard his own voice and knew it sounded like he was apologizing. for what, he was not sure. for being here. for liking the idea of blue polish with tiny white stars. for imagining will seeing them and smiling. or maybe imagining will not smiling.
he pushed that thought away and watched as the first star took shape on his thumbnail. just a little five pointed mark, a small cluster of lines, but it looked so precise and deliberate.
“oh,” he breathed. “that looks really good.”
“thank you,” she said. “you picked a pretty design. very sweet.”
sweet. he felt his ears warm. he hoped it just looked like the hot towel from earlier.
while she worked, the salon hummed softly. quiet music from a speaker. the faint murmur of two people arguing happily over colors at the other table. the whir of a tiny fan somewhere behind him. he tried to relax his shoulders, but his brain kept looping back to the same thing.
will is going to see these.
will is going to see these and know that mack had sat here and asked for tiny white stars on soft blue polish because he thought it would be cute. because he liked it. because he liked the way it reminded him of evenings in their living room when the game was on mute and the windows reflected the city lights.
he pictured will, big hands, callused fingers, goofy smile. will, who wore bright sweatshirts and socks with cartoon sushi on them. will, who had spent a whole afternoon once learning how to braid mack’s hair because mack had said offhand that he had never really learned any braids except the basic three strand.
will, who had never made fun of him for anything. not for crying at that one stupid movie. not for getting nervous when he had to speak in front of a big crowd. not for keeping a little stuffed shark on his nightstand.
still, the nervousness stayed. it sat in his chest like a small cold stone.
the nail tech blew gently across his fingertips.
“almost done,” she said. “do you like them so far”
he looked. his nails were glossy blue now, tiny stars scattered across each one. some near the cuticle. some near the tip. some in little clusters, like constellations he could trace with his eyes. his hands looked like they belonged to someone softer and braver at the same time.
“yeah,” he said, and this time it came out more sure. “i really do.”
when everything was finished and dry, he thanked her twice, paid, and stepped out into the afternoon. the air felt crisp against his face. he tucked his hands into his jacket pockets on instinct and then frowned at himself.
what was the point of getting his nails done if he was going to hide them all the way home
still, he kept one hand in his pocket as he walked, the other loosely wrapped around his phone. he checked his notifications at the crosswalk. there was a text from will.
baby did u eat
mack smiled despite his nerves and typed back.
yeah had lunch at the rink im on my way home
can i hug u when u get here
this made his smile widen until his cheeks almost hurt.
yes pls
he put his phone away, looked down at his pocket where his painted nails were hidden, and took a slow breath.
he could do this. it was just nail polish. he liked it. that counted for something.
by the time he got to their apartment building, his stomach had started doing little flips. he pressed the elevator button and bounced on his heels while he waited, like he was killing a penalty and wanted to jump back over the boards.
the ride up felt too short and too long at the same time. he stared at his faint reflection in the elevator door. hoodie. messy hair under his cap. jacket zipped halfway. hands stuffed deep in pockets.
he looked normal, he thought. whatever that meant.
the door slid open and he stepped into the hallway, his heart beating faster with each step. he could hear a faint something from inside their place even before he unlocked the door. music, maybe. or the commentary from some game will had turned on.
the key turned and he walked in.
warm light spilled from the living room. the television murmured from the wall, some replay of a game they had not watched yet. the air smelled like microwave popcorn and whatever candle will had decided was the best of the week.
“mack” will called from the couch. “there you are”
mack kicked his shoes off and shut the door with his shoulder, hands still buried in his pockets.
“hey,” he said, trying to sound casual.
will popped his head up over the back of the couch, eyes bright. he had one of mack’s old hoodies on, sleeves pushed up, hair messy like he had been running his hands through it.
“come here,” will said. “i have been waiting for my hug. i even paused the game for you. this is serious commitment.”
mack laughed and crossed the room, heartbeat loud in his ears. when he reached the couch, will opened his arms wide.
“uh,” mack said, nerves sparking. “i am still wearing my jacket.”
“wow,” will said, mock offended. “so you do not want my love. tragic. heartbreaking.”
mack rolled his eyes and shrugged out of his jacket, still keeping his hands hooked in the sleeves as long as he could. he dropped the jacket on the arm of the couch and quickly shoved his hands back into the pocket of his sweatpants.
will did not seem to notice. he just grabbed mack around the waist and tugged him down so he toppled right onto his lap, letting out a startled sound that might have been a squeak.
“hi,” will said softly, looking up at him.
“hi,” mack said, cheeks warm again.
for a moment it was easy. will’s arms around him, solid and steady. mack wriggled until he was sitting sideways with his legs stretched out along the couch and his head tipped against will’s shoulder. will pressed a kiss into his hair like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“you okay” will asked after a beat. “you are kinda stiff. and not in a fun way.”
“i am fine,” mack said quickly. “just tired.”
it was not a lie. he was tired. but he was also aware of his hands like they were on fire. they were jammed into the pocket of his sweatpants now, fingers curled into fists so the fabric rubbed over the tops of his nails.
what if will laughed
what if he thought it was silly
what if he only pretended to like it and secretly wished mack would stop being weird
he shifted again and will hummed.
“you sure” will said. “you are doing your worried turtle face.”
“i do not have a worried turtle face.”
“you absolutely do,” will said. “you kind of pull your head in like this.” he demonstrated, tucking his chin and widening his eyes, and mack burst out laughing. the tension loosened for a second.
“shut up,” mack said, still giggling.
“aww, there you are,” will said, kissing his cheek. “okay, for real. how was your day.”
“it was good,” mack said. “practice was fine. i went to run some errands after.”
“errands,” will repeated. “very mysterious. what kind of errands.”
“stuff,” mack said, which sounded stupid even to his own ears.
will tipped his head, studying him. mack stared straight ahead at the paused hockey game on the screen, where two players were frozen mid faceoff. he could feel will’s eyes on him like a physical thing.
“you are hiding your hands,” will said slowly. “like hardcore hiding. did you lose a finger. because that would suck. but i would still love you.”
mack groaned and slouched down farther.
“no,” he muttered.
“then what is it” will said, gentle now. “hey. mack. look at me.”
mack turned his head reluctantly. will was not teasing anymore. his expression was soft. concerned. his hand slid up to rub slow circles between mack’s shoulder blades.
“i am not going to freak out,” will said. “whatever it is. i promise.”
the words settled over mack like a blanket. familiar. true. will had said things like that before, and he had meant them every time.
mack swallowed.
“it is stupid,” he said quietly.
“bet it is not,” will replied. “but even if it is, i like your stupid stuff.”
mack huffed a tiny laugh that was almost a sigh. he slowly pulled his right hand out of his pocket. it hovered awkwardly in the air for a moment, half curled, until will gently caught his wrist.
“can i see” will asked.
mack nodded, not trusting his voice.
will turned his hand over, palm up. then he rotated it carefully, like something precious. the light from the lamp hit the polish and the blue shone, stars bright and tiny across each nail.
for a heartbeat, there was only silence.
mack’s chest clenched. he stared at will’s face, trying to read every twitch of muscle, every flicker in his eyes.
will blinked once.
“oh,” he said softly.
another beat of silence. mack’s fingers twitched.
“if you hate it, just say,” mack blurted. “it is fine. i can take it off. i just wanted to try it and it looked cool in the picture and then i went and got it done but now it is actually on my hands and i know it is maybe a lot and i should have told you first and i am sorry if it is weird or if”
“hey,” will cut in gently. he squeezed mack’s hand. “hey. breathe.”
mack sucked in a shaky breath and let it out.
will brought his hand closer to his face and really looked. his expression shifted. his eyebrows relaxed. the corners of his mouth lifted.
“these are so cute,” he said in a wondering tone. “oh my god.”
mack blinked.
“what”
“they are cute,” will repeated, sounding delighted now. “look at the little stars. they are like tiny constellations. did you pick the colors yourself.”
“yeah,” mack said faintly. “i wanted blue. and the stars were an idea that just kind of happened.”
will smiled so wide that his eyes crinkled.
“baby,” he said, tugging mack closer by the hand. “you look so good. why were you hiding them. are you kidding. you are like. starry sky boyfriend.”
heat rushed up mack’s neck.
“i do not know,” he mumbled. “i got nervous. i thought maybe you would think it was dumb. or not. like. manly or something.”
will’s smile softened. he let go of mack’s hand only so he could cup his cheek instead, thumb rubbing along his jaw.
“babe,” will said gently. “first of all, there is nothing un manly about cute nails. second, even if there was, i would still think you are the hottest person on earth. third, you remember who you are dating, right. i own socks with dancing strawberries on them.”
a laugh bubbled out of mack, a real one now.
“you do,” he said.
“exactly,” will said. “and i love colors and all that stuff. you know that. i have been saying you would look amazing with painted nails since like month two.”
“you said that like once,” mack said.
“i said it in my heart a lot,” will replied. “i just did not want to push you.”
he took mack’s hand again, tracing the little stars with the pad of his thumb. his touch was light, careful not to smudge anything even though the polish was already dry.
“for real,” will said quietly. “i am so happy you did this. i love that you tried something new because you wanted to. i love that you came home and trusted me enough to show me even though you were scared. that is not stupid. that is really brave.”
mack’s throat felt tight. he swallowed against it.
“yeah” he whispered.
“yeah,” will echoed. he lifted mack’s hand and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it. “also. selfishly. this is doing things for me. you look very pretty.”
“oh my god,” mack groaned, but he could not stop the grin that spread over his face.
“sorry,” will said, not sounding sorry at all. “pretty boyfriend with star nails on my lap. do you expect me to be normal about this.”
“you are never normal,” mack said.
“exactly,” will said cheerfully.
he turned mack’s other hand over to inspect that one too, murmuring little comments under his breath. about how clean the lines were. how the blue matched mack’s eyes when the light hit right. how he wanted to take a million pictures but only if mack was okay with it.
“maybe later,” mack said, smiling shyly. “just for us.”
“deal,” will said. “i am already planning outfits in my head. we could match. do you want me to get my nails done too. we could be a team. power couple. nail couple.”
mack giggled.
“you would actually do that”
“uh, yeah,” will said. “baby, i would totally rock nail polish with you. i am offended you even asked. i could get like. little sharks on mine. or tiny hearts. or both.”
“they would be very you,” mack said.
“and yours are very you,” will replied. “soft and kind of dreamy and a little bit nerdy in a good way.”
mack ducked his head, feeling his face heat again. but the nerves were different now. lighter. warmer. like they had been melted down and reshaped into something gentler.
“thank you,” he said quietly. “for. you know. not freaking out.”
“i told you i would not,” will said. “have i ever lied to you.”
“you said you would share the last slice of pizza and then you ate it,” mack said.
“okay,” will said instantly. “aside from that. and i apologized.”
“you did,” mack agreed.
will squeezed his waist.
“come here,” he said. “closer.”
“i am already on your lap,” mack pointed out, but he shifted anyway, letting will pull him until their foreheads touched. will’s nose brushed his. mack could see every little fleck of green in his eyes.
“i love you,” will murmured.
mack’s chest filled up, overflowing with something that felt a lot like the first time he had stepped onto clean ice in an empty rink. pure. easy. right.
“i love you too,” he said.
will kissed him then. soft and sure and slow. mack let himself sink into it, his fingers curling lightly against will’s shoulders. when they parted, will glanced down again, eyes catching on the blue and white at the edge of his vision.
“seriously,” will said, a little breathless. “these nails. i am obsessed.”
“good,” mack said, laughing. “because they are staying for a while.”
“great,” will said. “more time for me to admire my starry boyfriend.”
mack rolled his eyes but he was glowing inside. the cold stone of worry in his chest had turned into something else entirely. a warm, steady light that matched the tiny stars on his nails.
they settled back on the couch, mack tucked against will’s side, their fingers intertwined. the game on the screen started up again, but mack barely watched. he traced the tiny constellations on his own nails with his eyes and felt will’s thumb brush over his knuckles every so often, like a quiet promise.
he had been scared. he had done it anyway. and will had looked at him like he was something wonderful.
mack smiled and leaned in closer, nails glittering softly under the living room lamp, his heart as bright as the stars on his hands.